Anna really is a true life fairy 🧚♀️ I was thinking about this just today. The question I've been asking myself today is: How can I transform my life? What do I need to do? Because I no longer feel like I fit into the one I'm living now. Thanks to Anna I'm much clearer about my trauma and how it's affected and impacted my life. But, I feel stuck because as I look around me I no longer feel like I belong where I'm at with my circumstances and situation. I need to shed this skin 😩
When I came across Anna's stuff for the first time, I felt the same way! It was like a being in a dimly lit room and then all of the sudden the light switch got reined in and I saw how messed up the room was and I wanted out. I started (and still continue) with her "Daily Practice" and that one thing has truly gotten me on the path towards shedding the old dead destructive crap I had in my life💜You're in the right place🌈
@@sandyboffa Love your description of the light being turned on and seeing all the mess and chaos in the room 😃😃😃. This will be how I will be describing the light bulb 💡 moment when explaining this to people from now on. 👍🏾
@@missgolightly5488another comment said that Anna was saving women on a whole other level & he added men too because she’s helping both genders equally😎 Hope that helps clarify & as I type I realized that mostly women write In & I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard Anna read a man’s letter, but clearly men are watching, listening & learning. I’m sure the fairy 🧚♀️ reaches countless people who don’t comment. God bless you 🙏
I live in Idaho just a few miles away from the original, iconic Oregon Trail. You can still clearly see the wagon wheel ruts from the 1800s. Those ruts are so ingrained into the soil that nothing grows in them, even after almost two centuries of non-use. Childhood trauma so ingrains our brain patterns into ruts of behavior. It takes effort to break up those "ruts" to allow new "trails" of words, deeds, social morays, and a new generational pattern for future generations.
Talking of childhood trauma.. Those wagon wheel ruts.. Can you imagine the childhood trauma that took place in those days - the slaughter, the torture and killing of prisoners by the various Indian tribes - it must have been hell on earth for so many of those early settlers (who were usually forced to relocate).
@@robinhood6954 in reality, very few were killed by belligerent Indian tribes. Something like 2%. The rest died of sickness and accidents. But trauma, nonetheless. Historical inaccuracies: they didn't circle the wagons from protection against Indian attacks. They did it to keep animals from wandering off. Trying to create a different life isn't without cost or hardship, whether it be finding virgin lands or breaking free from the "ruts" of childhood PTSD.
@@joeljoy4144 It's not so much the individual numbers but more the fact that such ordeals had to be endured by anyone - especially children - during those times. When I was staying in the Ozarks I read a book entitled 'Frontier Women', and all I can say is, they sure showed more courage and endurance than any woman has to today. We should all be grateful for having arrived in this world AFTER the worst was over (apart from all those still being duped into going out and fighting various 'orchestrated' wars of course).
I'm really appreciating these longer compilations. They allow for more binge listening to all this gold. I've been trying for years to heal from all sorts of trauma, and it seems like every time I start to make efforts something happens no retraumatize me. I feel beaten down and feeble, and every time I try to reach for a door in my little fortress, my brain hits me back to say, "These walls are here for your protection. You've never seen anything out there that is good for you. The life you want doesn't exist, and you're so damaged that you don't deserve to have it anyway." Therapy is helping but not as much as I wanted it to. These videos have given me a sort of renewed strength to change my situation.
I don't know why, but I experienced it years ago too, that therapists that are really good, are rare. They should understand you, help you with reflecting and selfreflecting and encourage you like a good coach, to go for your goals in life. (Of course when they are not harmfull to others 🙂). But somehow you go there and it doesn't help much. Strange. It's the Same as everywhere...they want you to stay longer...a woman told me, she would be in constant therapy since 17 years. Uhg...usually you don't get payed that long by the insurance in Germany. Even in our ,social, system, you can get usually at maximum 50 sessions and then you have to wait two years, to get new sessions payed. Maby in worst cases it's different, I don't know. But of course 50 is much, if they would get used efficiently! What they aren't usually. And the other thing is, until you get just a place by a therapist, you wait from three months to a year. Mostly half a year. And when you really need help irgendly (dringend), than you have to wait never the less. And it's not said at all, that the chemistry then, between the thetapist and you is fitting or that it is helpfull. And Here is a lot about insurance reasons missleaded unecessary therapies too. Another woman told me, that she is only physical i'll because of parasites and worms that were found in her liver etc. Doctors Long time didn't find out, why she got so many foodallergies, fatigue, pain in her body etc. It ended up by this, that she couldn't Work anymore. Now she found a private to pray doctor, that can and is going to help her. But that the insurance pays her time, when she can not work, she had to go to the psychotherapist. Allthough she and the therapist said, she doesn't need nor want this sessions! But she has to go, because they think, she just would have a psychological problem. Hm. Imagine, they pay for her sallary/income and waste a lot of money to her sessions where she don't want to go. And others with huge psychic problems have to wait a year, to get her therapy place. I tell you, German (or elsewhere) logics are strange and uneconomically.
Yes exactly. Feel to old and no desire for relationships, The one day is better than the merry go round of mental health treatment. Thank you for insight. It made me crazier with traditional mental health help.
I learned not to take ownership of other peoples bad behavior. Their bad behavior has nothing to do with me. It’s their problem. I got out and it CHANGED EVERYTHING!
Cptsd can make a child feel that they are responsible for fixing relationships. They need to work out how to keep their parents happy, and its their fault if the parent is angry/violent etc. This incorrect belief can then translate into adult relationship - friends or lovers. The truth is that someone being crappy to you is crappy. They will stay crappy as long as they are getting away with it. And unfortunately there are plenty of people with cptsd to keep fueling the fire.
TY for this Wisdom. Often I have been my worst enemy.. Now I see Why..I must get free from rutted rotten beliefs and pay the price of transformation. I am worth it
Sometimes I have the feeling, it's to much wadhed over. I mean by that, that sometimes children do mistakes too and even tough ones. So it's ok and understandable, when parents, teachers and all that, get angry and say stop. But the thing is, how they do it. And another thing is, when parents are psychological ill and dysfunctional and traumatized themselves and then are behaving like shit, ignorant and cruel to their kids, because they don't feel well! And not because the Kids did something bad. So the crappy thing is, when kids get harmed out of nothing. Or allthough something is Not their fault. In healing from trauma, WE should see and reflect clearly, what Others did and what WE did. As an example: I was raised in a toxic and dysfunctional family. They were most of the time. My parents were often nasty narcistic and so on, I don't go into detail now. That was very bad for me! I remember, I was a few times also not nice. I did tell my mother, she didn't cook well, when she didn't or I found the food too boring. Yes, I wased before, while and after that criticised by her a lot. So I was used to this form of criticising each other. But because I was born as an empath and with big spiritual heart, I only rarely criticised her like with the food. Most of the time I helped her, took care of my siblings, made the household and tried to solve their marriage problems. So I parented them. Because they didn't parent me and us so well. The point is to ask oneself: Where did I really do mistakes too? Where was I mean to another one? Were do I wanna be better in contact with others, Like clearer, but friendly and empathetic, even if they behave strange? When we are more self healed, we can help others better to get out of their missbehaviour by staying clear, friendly and calm. So if a mother says here: uh....my children are so this and that. Hm. You are older then them. You were there before they were there. How did you treat them? What were you as a role model to them? And only because you had trauma, they are kids and they don't have to parent you, even if you had to parent your parents. (Just in case). Because it's the false direction of WHO is for whom responsible. Traumatized mothers or parents forget that or don't know this and mix it through. But if you are the mother, you are responsible and not your child. OK, of course can narcistic character roule there too, If a child got used from a narcistic parent to hurt the other parent. But hey: it's good to think of, what is a healthy direction of responsebility and how looks a healthy role acting of a mother, of a father and what should a child may experience and live like? Victims often go into this,me me me, thing too, as narcistic people do. And don't ask the kids how it was to have you as a parent and what they missed. So yes, heal yourself frst and be allow yourself to cry over it. Or to be angry, but under the anger isactually sadness and disapointment. Then, after you only have focused on what others did to you, look what you did to others and where you failed ir. And if very healed and strong, one can connect with one by one child and ask: how are you ? How was your childhood for you with me as mother or father? And don't defend yourself. Just listen and after that you can Tell your (adult) child, what you have been through and what your problems were. And that you are sorry for haven't or couldn't have done it better at that time. Do say sorry!
Crappy Childhood Fairy, Here is momma’s hug to you , after all the things that happened to you including getting surgeries while being a solo mom- I can understand, and you have risen above that like a phoenix and guiding others so that we don’t get lost, I was on the verge of making trauma my identity- but yes I can’t let the story take over me and keep writing my own story. Lots of love and best wishes ❤
Raging is terrible. I used to do that. One day I decided to wait until an argument was over. When I was alone I fell to the floor and allowed myself to cry. The cry was painful and releasing.
Not even a minute in and already the tears are falling. I see how much this topic affected my soon to be ex-husband’s ability to be in a healthy and loving marriage and my heart breaks for what could have been. What could have been his healing and happiness, what could have been a loving and happy marriage, what could have been our children that never arrived. Thank you so much for posting this. I don’t know that I’m ready right now to receive your message in its entirety but I’m hoping to be strong enough in the future, even if just momentarily, to slowly listen as able to. God bless you for putting in the time and effort to helping us heal. I just wish and pray that my husband will one day heal, too.
I never got to stay at home during the pandemic, had to keep turning up to work, having contact with lots of people and taking care of my students both in person and online, but had to go home to my empty house, unable to see my emotionally distant avoidant (now ex) boyfriend or friends. Everyone else were group FaceTiming and I would ignore the call. I couldn't bear to hear how hard it was for them all staying home. I was so exhausted and wanted time out from people but wasn't given the luxury, and resented everyone who got to stay home. I have never mentally recovered from the stress and pressure of my job at that time. I think I am still full of resentment. I was always a social butterfly - always invited to the party. Now I don't care about anything really. I have just discovered your Chanel and started the daily practice as of yesterday. Thank you for all you do.
Has anyone else been binge watching the Fairy like me? Is that an avoidance technique? Lol 😂. Thank you Anna! I have been doing the Daily Practice. Your work will forever change how I view and handle my family.
Meaning what I thought was normal, I can see now was not healthy and why we are the way we are. But even though it wasn't my fault, it is my responsibility to heal!
im finally going to be one of the ppl posting a thank you. i think i have just managed to finally heal. without this channel, i would still be wasting my time and money trying to make talk therapy work when it simply doesnt work for me. thank you for the information, the gentle way of giving tough advice, and not just regurgitating the same old useless advice that “mental health professionals” always give. cptsd is not a diagnosis in the dsm, yet it was what ive been suffering from for decades without help. i just did the impossible and saved myself from drowning, and this channel has been a huge help. im glad to know it’s here if i have slip-ups and hard times in the future. 🖤 sending love and well wishes to anyone else going through it. you are not alone.
Anna has gotten to the core issues I myself have. Finally someone is that cued in and I thank you. I am in the Behavioral Health field and she tops any therapists. 🙏 I personally need Anna's audio/videos. I'm so grateful.
God bless you, Anna. I have been binge watching your videos for about a week. I am amazed at the mindset shift I've experienced in just this short amount of time. Your voice is so comforting and soothing. I also appreciate it when you include tough love for accountability and a clear perspective. I am 34, and until now, I never had the words, much less the tools, to describe what I felt was "wrong" my entire life. Now I have hope, thanks to you and a fantastic and supportive therapist that I can discuss these topics with. You sincerely deserve an honorary doctorate or even a Nobel Peace prize. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
Same in Germany. There is behavioural therapy, deep psychology after C.G.Jung etc. And nearly no traumatherapy/therapists that are financed by insurances. The few traumatherapists that are here, work private. So it seemed to me like the government (or who it orchestrates), is only focused on the different symptoms and results (illnesses), than on to heal the roots of it, the trauma experiences. So I am glad to have found this channel.
Oh Anna. Gosh, I don't know what to write except I am compelled to say thank you. I am in the midst of "it" right now. The clouds have parted after 40 years of personal discovery. I am currently doing the daily practice every day, it changed everything! My God! what an instant and noticeable change. Again THANK YOU! I sought your newest videos and looked up your specific shame meditation to help me deal with a situation I blew yesterday. I can feel like my dysreg will be much shorter this time. I'm saving my money to become a member
I started listening to you a few months ago. I did it mainly to help my 14 year old granddaughter whom was abandoned after her mom just left her. She had been abused, neglected, beaten and locked in yer room for 6 years. I have found your lessons very helpful for me as well. because I have CPTSD. I am 66. I have recovered. But I spent 10 years in therapy in my 20's & 30's working through my issues. Thank God for you! You are helping me help her❤❤❤
I’m SO GRATEFUL to you for your ANSWERS! I always knew that *something* was wrong with me. But, I couldn’t explain it to myself. My childhood was awfully traumatic. So….as an adult, I would take anything to feel some sort of comforting love. And, I suffered from abuse & abandonment. THANK YOU for your explanations. I am making good changes. ❤️
Me too! And I do the daily practice and continue to watch all the videos and do see a therapist every week for 10 years now! Honestly, what’s it going to take?! 😢
I love these long videos you release on Sunday mornings, Anna. I so look forward to watching them while I eat breakfast and have coffee because I have the luxury of time to take it all in. Thank you. 😊❤
This one is awesome. Listening to Anna's common sense, practical approach has guided me to trust my own instincts and has helped me a great deal in figuring out what works for me in healing & moving forward. I realized that I really don't get "triggered" by much. I am pretty fearless in that way. However I can get dysregulated very easily at times. I feel like what has been my challenge that had me so stuck & frustrated is that I didn't know how to get regulated and would therefore think that "talking about/confronting" the trauma would help. For me it was just a waste of time. Since I have started to put my focus on getting regulated my life is improving dramatically. I feel like I finally see a way forward and have a plan. Thanks again Anna. See you next week for the seminar. Best, Kevin
My name is May so it felt like you were talking to me and I loved it. In your videos it often feels like you are talking to me and about me. First comment ever and thank you for the many ways you are helping me and everyone else that watches. ❤
I started with the prompt " what would I be without pain/trauma" and could not answer...so I wrote my current values (ie trauma responses) and their manifestation at work and relationships. Then transcribed the opposite of those and came up with the new state of being. Thank you!! This was beyond helpful!!
I ONLY seem to attract unavailable men. I just gave up on dating sites because it just seemed like every man was wanting very inappropriate relationships and somehow even that makes me feel rejected, unlovable and literal misfit. I know that I’m not responsible for what they do or say but I guess it just triggers something in me feeling not good enough, not worthy of a good guy because I’ve probably never had one. I had men who were just less worse than others. My parents were both alcoholic and I feel like I was raised in a come here/go away relationship. My mother was completely self absorbed, couldn’t be bothered with her children and their needs. I’m currently, barely in a situationship that is barely even that. I know it’s unworkable, we don’t even really get along that well but even the idea of me telling him that he should no longer contact me or me taking a stand and and not contacting him gives me major anxiety. It’s as if I’m so satisfied with the absolute bare minimum of effort. I’m very much into limerence and fantasy with him, it’s something that I’ve turned to since I was a young child to cope with the rejection and abandonment I felt from my parents.
Ohhhh Amen girl! You're wayyyyy ahead of the game as I'm almost 65 and just found Anna a week ago! I watch her all day every day and am working the daily practices now. Already going out and about and to the gym, so encouraged about getting back Into the business of life!!! Thank you Anna!!!
I ruminate. And ruminate. And ruminate. Then I get some breaks which are very nice. I like isolating. I like being alone spending time with myself. It feels like the right thing since I chased after people because I was so lonely when I was young. It feels good to not be lonely and to like myself :-). I only found this channel recently and I thank you because I can relate.
You are without a doubt the best therapist I ever had, (and I had a few) without even have met you in person. Thank you for your amazing work, you are truly a life saver Anna! So much love ❤
Even though I was aware I grew up in a dysfunctional environment I didn't give it much thought since that is the way it was for nearly everyone I've known. I was aware that there were more than a few very traumatic situations I was part of that no one else I've known has ever had to deal with. When the bad situations ended and the sun came up the next day, I would continue on like it never happened. I never thought of myself as the victim since the trauma had happened to my mother, not me, I was just the helpless bystander, and if she never brought it up neither would I. So, here I am now 60+ years later and only now, because of concepts such as shadow work and podcasts such as yours do I realize that I too was affected and that trauma doesn't go away simply by not thinking about it. I never realized that it might be the reason I've always pushed people away and have no one close. YT comments are my main source of human interaction. Pretty sad, huh. And that is just the tip of the iceberg on my laundry list of dysfunctions. I dislike the idea of needing to spend time dredging it all up again, but the need to do just that remains constant now So, I've watched the first couple videos of the daily practice and plan to start this evening? As a hope-a-holic, I am hoping it will be the key that allows me to fix all that is broken.
I wonder if Melanie's father actually had another family and was living a double life. Sounds like her mother was the mistress. It would explain a lot about her past, especially why her father never protected her from the abusive mother. It's strange how our past traumas keep repeating themselves in relationships until we heal. Watching your channel is really helping me.
The mistress thing is something actually only men can do. Cause a mother won't have two different households in two cities and children with each. 😮 But women can have kids with several men and do as if they were from the man they are with. As I heared, this happened too, of course a lot during wars...and from time to time still will happen everywhere. But No matter which way, this is painful for the kids as they find out and at the end hurts all. Or makes ill. Sick relationships cause a lot of chronical illnesses.
I'm pretty sure I have a Trauma Bond with my parents. Lately, my father. While caring for my Dad, he expressed enjoying getting to know me again. Soon afterward I accidentally found out he was having an affair. He cut off communication with me for 8 months. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas he text me. Then he cut me off again. I'm coming to terms with accepting that our relationship will never be the same again. Grieving a lot in the process. I'm not chasing him as much as I did at first. Having dreams of him dying without reconnecting lately. Working on my fears and resentment.
Working out those fears and resentments is the way to go! We have more support in our membership, lots of people who are caring for parents which requires a lot of support! bit.ly/CCF-Membership -Cara@TeamFairy
Intermittent reinforcement is tricky. Sometimes it's far from intentional or openly malicious. I had a relationship with a person who displayed signs of a dismissive-avoidant attachment style and while there was a great deal of good communication, the lack of emotional warmth kept me sort of hungry at all times. I remarked to my therapist that had this girl been more open emotionally, I reckon I would have seen our incompatibility clearer. But the emotional distance made me chase her and proved fertile soil for the build-up of limerence. I don't blame her per say. It's who she is.
It’s funny…I love my therapists and I find talking about my traumas really helps me….I don’t talk to friends about it just my therapist…i am also doing EMDR and it helps a lot…. I do journal but sparingly…I just don’t find that writing or journaling works for me. I need a real human being to listen. I never got that growing up I guess. It’s like I need someone to actually see me. It’s validating…writing stuff down on paper just doesn’t do it for me for some reason..Thank you though for your videos. I learn a lot from you!
That's the keys, stop the disconnection, the dysregulation, and the self-defeating behavior. You said it at about the 28:30 mark. And just start anywhere you said...!
Anna, I am so happy I found you. I, too, grew up in a poor and dysfunctional family (alcoholic mother and narcissist father) in Berkeley. And your work is really helping me.
After years and years of therapy, thanks to you, I finally started to realise what is causing a lot of my anxiety. Although I have a long way to go, I pray for healing and health. I wish you all the best and may you be blessed. ❤❤
The beginning of this video was exactly what I needed to hear today, which confirmed what is at the crux of my perpetual problems. The wisdom in the 1st five minutes of this video is comparable to a thousand dollar$ and countless hours in therapy. Anna, your work is so amazing and your success story is inspiring on many levels. Thank you Wisdom Fairy 🧚♀️
I started the daily practice a week or so ago. After a few days I noticed I had less things bothering me. Writing it out and releasing it really does something powerful! I'm glad i gave it a go. I've intended to do that practice for a few years and I am glad I finally tried it out. I'm watching this video from a new place...as someone who is more healed, who sees myself as capable of finding deeper and deeper levels of peace. It's largely thanks to your channel that I have made sense of my trauma and found the right tools to get well again.
Thank you so much for sharing a few of the details about what the DP is like. This is so helpful to people who are thinking about it, but having trouble believing anything so simple could make difference. I'm so glad you're here!
I've heard of trauma bonds before and resonated with that, regarding my recent dating life. But somehow the way Anna said it made me realize my relationship with my ex-husband was that, too. And why it hurt SO BAD, how disproportionally wrecked I was when he left me. I was addicted. It was more than just a divorce. Damn... OK so now I'm thinking about my sister's different reaction to our shared trauma. I'm a faun. She's a fighter. She has a well adapted, healthy life and never procrastinates. Never seems to have shame or compounded issues. I on the other hand am the opposite. And you know, part of that I'm sure is because of the labels we got. I was the "good" daughter with the duty to fix everything. She was the "bad" daughter. I wonder if- because of the labels we got as kids, my sister got a head start on the healing...?
I'm a 19 years old man who suffer from CPTSD, Gaming Disorder, Adjustment disorder mixed with anxiety and Depression. My gift is strong sprite, which consists of high resistance, resilience, and strong intuition. It trigger me so much when talking about neglect and abuse, and I just want to be hide from this world.
Anna don’t change a thing. Your videos have put me to bed so many nights as mantas for not feeling alone. just to have someone saying all the things i’m doing thinking feeling saying. i just really appreciate and respect and love you and your content so very much! keep going! ❤
I’ll never forget how my dad would come home from work every evening mad as hell (because he was drunk) picking fights with me, and I never submitted because I’ve always had that warrior spirit, but that of course made him more angry. I’d usually be grabbed and dragged by my wrists to my room, and thrown in there. Without fail, the next morning, there would always be a card slipped under my bedroom door. “I’m sorry. I love you, dad.”
I've been in therapy for years now, understood my self-sabotaging bag of tricks ...and then fell again for a man who seemed all but emotionally unavailable. We had genuine potential , and I was actively working on myself now that the old reactions had a chance to get triggered, but he would leave me at any argument, be blatantly passive aggressive when not, and refused psychotherapy or even self help. I wish I could believe he cared about me, but his defenses so unaware... He chooses to believe the worst of people so he hasn't lost much... My therapist says it matters that I tried honestly but I keep asking myself how I did not see he was not interested in trying to talk...
I’ve shared your videos with many of my friends who are supportive, wonderful, kind and also can benefit from your practices and daily tasks. Thank you for your all your great help, support and excellent work! I listen to you every morning and finally know how to approach my interactions and emotions properly
This lady is a blessing. Awesome. Keep spreading healing, so many need it. So many teens and young adults complain about loneliness and not having any friends.
Just got introduced to you yesterday. A friend of mine was sharing her victory and was asking me questions about my life. As i listened to her I became so angry and the pain was so bad. I know at this point that when that happens the Lord is starting to heal another area and there is a wrong feeling. He’s brought me so far already, and is I listen to your videos I realize I was almost everything you say. BUT GOD! I LOVE people and get to be sunshine wherever I go, except those people very close to me. As I listen I feel so much shame that I am this way, I know I get to speak Gods truth about who I am instead and learn who I am without this trama. I don’t remember the first 8 years of my life. A few flashes have come into my mind, but over all I don’t. What do I do? I don’t want any more closed doors.
Oh boy!!! do I watch your videos??!! I have been in therapy for over six years, and I have a word now, or a name for what happens to me when sometimes someone says something and I go from 0 to 1000!! Sometimes, I can hardly control myself as to what I’m saying!! I bought both books that you recommended, and I am going to buy your book as well. This has been so eye-opening, and hard for me. I just thought something was wrong with me. you have no idea how much you have helped people like me. I have to say, this is such a hard journey. Three different people told me about your channel before I started watching it, I know that had to be divine intervention. Thank you.🙏🙏💕
For some reason, I feel really depressed and sad when I listen to these situations. My situation is not as bad as these but it screws me up so badly I feel like dying.
So thankful to have stumbled on your work. I've never heard a better communicator of how this feels. Such empathetic affirmation of how it feels has provided immediate relief, a sense of belonging. And hearing your encouragement towards personal accountability of healing without feeling shamed feels incredible! THANK YOU!
The abandonment mélange is interesting. I've been fighting against a critical attitude towards an ex friend who stood me up for dinner plans, and then I completely switched on them, and for the past 15 years I can't stand them, and I know its irrational. Maybe them standing me up triggered this abandonment well for me I suppose its rage rather than sadness.
I love you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm hoping that someone I care so much about will click on this and just watch it. I've done all I can to hopefully draw attention to it on my Facebook and that she clicks on it. On a side note I created a dancing style during lockdown that I feel allows people the ability to feel connected to others without directly bothering them. I've been doing it for a year or so and it provides the most effective method that includes body movement for physical exercise, the emotional rejuvenation from dancing in public confidently due to my easy to learn style. It allows me to connect to literally everybody I run into downtown Portland Oregon. I can't even walk 5 minutes without someone smiling and waving at me, or even joining me and dancing too! It's all spontaneous and so fun! I'll be teaching it for free and hopefully, create videos so l can post it on RUclips and share it across the world. This dancing style solves everything that would be fulfilling for victims of cptsd. I'll make sure to keep you posted. I owe you a lot. Perhaps this will help break the one I care dearly out of her freeze. I've been 4 years no contact with her so far and I've been looking for answers and now I believe I found it through you combined with my dancing style. I love her so much that I believed in the love between her and me was worth going through 4 years no contact then though we only went on 3 dates. We didn't every have time to argue about anything so when I surprised visit her at her work with flowers, she couldn't handle the overwhelm and I guess it triggered her and that's when my journey began. I was crushed. Of course I eventually picked myself up and learned about my codependency and abandonment wounds and healed it myself! No matter how much I healed, my heart was still calling for her. I wanted to find out what went wrong. I'm so glad I kept at it and didn't give up. I tried to thank her for doing what she did 4 years ago. It allowed me to notice my wound for me to look at. Luckily I was able to navigate it. It was super tough! But I made it. I was really grateful for her to trigger my wound for me to heal, which led me to create my dancing style because of how I wanted to show her thanks. Hopefully she will contact me and I can share with her what I created thanks to her.
Your information is the best thing I’ve seen. I had a terrible childhood due to ADHD and neglect. I was under a tremendous amount of stress no kid should go through. Everyone thought I had a great childhood from the outside looking in. ☹️☹️
Thank you so much 🙏 your words resonate and hit home like nothing else. I love your practical approach because when your caught up you need practical steps...you can tell that you speak from your heart and personal experience and I am so glad I found your channel as it is exactly what I need. I used to write a lot and I was proud of how I handled life but after getting caught up in a trauma bond I lost myself and stopped writing, for the past 6 months the universe, from every angle has been saying to me 'write write ✍️' but I didn't know how to start until now, the steps and practical approach is just what my exhausted mind needs right now. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and helping people on their healing journey. Bless you ❤
Anna I want to thank you for being the most important person I was supposed to come in contact with in my miserable life. Everything that comes out of you is going into me totally comprehended straight into my memory I'm blown away how everything everyone one of your topics I'm going yep that's it I get it it's helping me so much thank you so much you are so awesome. The I hate about videos on RUclips is setting waiting on the good part telling whoever is doing the video to stop rambling get to the good stuff. I don't have that with you ever 😊 You completely on point with every word. Yours truly Bryan P. The Lone Stranger ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Well kind words is all that someone should have for someone like yourself that has done so much for me and everyone else for years I can't imagine the hours and hours of work and research for me and everyone like us .Hope to actually meet you someday thank you so much for being so pro feel so lucky to have found you .God Bless ..Bryan P / The Lone Stranger 🌞
I relate so much to these videos and to the women writing in. I wish there was a club where we could meet women who are like us who understand and get it, and could be kind and supportive and start a friendship with. I’m so isolated it’s scary.
I didn't realize how much I got going on internally until Anna came along. I know what she is saying has truth because everything I'm going through, (which is very challenging and hard) how I'm feeling, she speaks on. In every video I've watched so far, whether it's me going through my separation or all emotions and mental issues, I find myself in tears just listening. Very informative and calming voice that makes me want to listen and take the methods with an open heart. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement.
I'm scared I won't be able to get better. I met someone who understands and is here for me regardless of what he doesn't understand or can't help with. My story is too long, but I never met anyone like him and I don't want to lose him or make him suffer.
Thank you amazing Anna for this awesome video and all of your others. You have a gift for articulating the mental health issues we experience. I’m beyond grateful for you. Also thank ms to followers who share their stories as I can relate exactly to many.
I keep a small circle. Quality over quantity..also.. I dont like people. So when I organically feel a connection with someone (super rare), I will do everything I can to nurture it and support them fully. I try to be the best friend for them that I can.
You can start working on yourself despite them. Try the Daily Practice to deal with the inevitable fears and resentments. Free Daily Practice Course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Caleb@TeamFairy
Anna, you look lovely and I love striped Ts! 💕 And I absolutely love the content of this video. Your voice is calm, and message both wise and gentle. Thank you.
28:00 YESSS! Connection! That's how we all work! We each need connection in our own special ways, some would call that community! We all have something somewhere that makes the world go from stress stress stress, to, oh, things make sense again. 29:57 Once you're able to talk about it, even just once, you need to put those feelings into creation. Something dark and destructive has happened to you, but things swing back around, it's just hard to find what really drives you back into gear. 33:00 Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all just understood each other? Oh, and disconnection is more than likely possible for most people. It's all mental. You created, even if it was just to destroy the paper in a bonfire. 36:00 There's a theory I have about this. With each of us, most of the time, societal interactions are stressful, so it's pushing a button in each of us, resetting our focus back to whatever trauma we need to have time to deal with and bring out into the world in a creative way. There's a trap room in D&D where the players are forced into a room with a single button in the middle of the room, with a timer on the wall that slowly ticks down, but resets when the button is pressed. So the players press it again and again, trying to figure out how to get out, until they resign themselves to simply letting the timer go. Poof, anxiety goes away and the door opens, often times with a gift to the party in the form of currency or equipment. It just takes a lot of time to figure out what it is that you need to create. 37:56 The ability to choose is terrifying sometimes, but rewarding when you finally internalize it. 38.27 Hey, look, what helps with trauma can be put out front first with creativity in some way. 39:28 Yeah, but you're doing a great job in helping people. I have my current endeavors partially to attribute to the healing process. 41:15 Heeeeeeyyyyy, novelty. It's a magical thing to create something new! 46:59 Button press, button press... love yourself, protect the button, see the love. 49:52 I got about 70%, but I could be a little more generous than I should be. Just caught myself picking at my feet while staring at my personal planner. Hey, look at that, need to occupied the hands with something creative, otherwise it goes to destruction. 1:01:30 Knowing you can do nothing to help another person with everything is a grand step in the healing process.
Dear Anna, I've been watching your videos for a few weeks now and everything you're describing about childhood trauma has been ringing true for me. This is such an amazing relief that you've found a way out of your past! I'm 44 now and was in denial that I even have CPTSD for much of my life and after mental health providers have given me a definite diagnosis as such. I'm also in early recovery for substance use and some other mental health issues. Your work is helping me and I feel a sense of possibility for my present and future! A MILLION THANKS for all the specifics about what it's been like and how to change!!! -Adam
YOU are important please help you! You're not bad and you truly deserve better! Enough with putting others before you! Please don't wait! Take your time healing. You're worth it and you aren't invisible, Bad, don't put that in your head. I just wish you all the happiness in the world. Please put you first ❤
@54:24 oof I dated a man like that. He was not only twice my age, but just like my dad, even had the same birthday. He was a functional alcoholic, the kind who just drank at night but would drink til he was drunk every time. And then he’d become really mean and terrifying. And nothing could snap him out of it. That relationship was last year and it severely retraumatized me, after I was making some progress in my healing. He’d then come tearfully apologizing to me the next day saying that I saw “the dark side of him”, that’s all I needed to know. I don’t want someone with a dark side. I’m so glad I escaped from that situation. I really escaped. I was full fledged panicked around him every day
I don’t trust the people I bring into my life because I choose victimizers. It is better to be alone. I was drawn to an abusive male therapist. That was the last straw.
HI ANNA, AFTER HEARING BITS OF YOUR LIFE EVENTS, I AM ASTOUNDED!!!!😮 I JUST CAN'T INAGINE HOW YOU'VE COME THIS FAR??? IM FEELING THAT WE HAVE ONLY HEARD A FRACTION OF YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES!!! 😮 YOU'RE SO BALANCED IN YOUR VIEW OF REPAIR. YOUR PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS ARE SO DOWN HOME AND WITH MASSIVE COMMON SENSE!!! YOU'RE GIVING ME GREAT IDEAS IN WORDS I CAN UNDERSTAND!!! " WONDER WOMAN" ANNA❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Everytime I get hope that a person is not damaged its a lie. A punch in the throat. I honestly believe I am here to catapult people to change but not for me so they can be better for the next woman so I am good. I do better alone period. 40 years alone happened for a reason. What's 20 more?
Anna, do you have any advice for people who have relatively good instincts, are at a place where they are most attracted to good/available people, but become paralyzed by high levels of anxiety and self-consciousness around those good people? This has been a persistent issue for me in romantic attraction - even if I have good reasons to think that the other person is appropriate for me and interested, the anxious feeling can still be so overwhelming that it's near impossible sometimes to even make eye contact or have a conversation. My dad never wanted me to be vulnerable with him or vice versa; the emotional vulnerability I feel in romantic attraction is viscerally terrifying. It's horrible and I get stuck on people for way too long because I can't get past my nervousness to even guage if we're compatible or not. I have ended up staying way too long in bad relationships with emotionally unavailable people, partly because they're just easier to talk to.
Dear Anna, after watching many of your videos and continuously finding so much truth in them, I have just noticed another thing that I haven't come across yet: is it possible to be emotionally disregulated in a positive way with CPTSD?? I'm very familiar with the hurt and pain, see many toxic patterns in my families and my own life choices, but what if I also get overwhelmed by my feelings when I'm happy or hopeful? Like there's suddenly so much energy, joy, hopefulness, ideas and enthusiasm? But then quickly, as my head is filled with all these positive thoughts, it starts going through the roof and my heart starts hurting..!? I feel love that is overwhelming! Is this a possible part of CPTSD? Normally, I would assume it's more of a pointer to bipolar disorder or some other form of emotional instability as a character trait (according to Big 5).. maybe could you do a video on this? Thank you so much and thank you for all the greatness that you bring into this world!
I completely understand that feeling, but healing is possible and you deserve to experience it. If you're looking for a first step, Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice' is a great place to start. Here's a link if you want to check it out: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
Anna really is a true life fairy 🧚♀️ I was thinking about this just today. The question I've been asking myself today is: How can I transform my life? What do I need to do? Because I no longer feel like I fit into the one I'm living now. Thanks to Anna I'm much clearer about my trauma and how it's affected and impacted my life. But, I feel stuck because as I look around me I no longer feel like I belong where I'm at with my circumstances and situation. I need to shed this skin 😩
Me too!!
yeah same here!
Yup. Same here.
When I came across Anna's stuff for the first time, I felt the same way! It was like a being in a dimly lit room and then all of the sudden the light switch got reined in and I saw how messed up the room was and I wanted out. I started (and still continue) with her "Daily Practice" and that one thing has truly gotten me on the path towards shedding the old dead destructive crap I had in my life💜You're in the right place🌈
@@sandyboffa Love your description of the light being turned on and seeing all the mess and chaos in the room 😃😃😃. This will be how I will be describing the light bulb 💡 moment when explaining this to people from now on. 👍🏾
God PLEASE protect this woman at all cost. Anna is saving lives ona whole different plain. Thank you so much❤️🙏🏾
And men . . .
Yes, definitely getting bob ross/mr rogers vibes via her soothing voice and gentle language.
@@savioartwork ,huh? What do you mean "and men" ?
@@missgolightly5488another comment said that Anna was saving women on a whole other level & he added men too because she’s helping both genders equally😎 Hope that helps clarify & as I type I realized that mostly women write In & I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard Anna read a man’s letter, but clearly men are watching, listening & learning. I’m sure the fairy 🧚♀️ reaches countless people who don’t comment. God bless you 🙏
Praying for us All to Angels . We can all pray to Angels & access protection when we raise our vibration to unlimiting positive possibilities 🎶💕🙏🏼😇🌟🌠💫
I cannot consume her information fast enough. 52 and now finally seeing my issues. The Fairy is Real.❤
69 and learning. Loved " The fairy is real."! Keep going. XXOO
57 and I so agree!!
51 and right dere witcha!
64! Working it, takes time. Grateful for This Woman
You are not alone. It has taken me years of "drive bys" to tinker with all her valuable information ❤ be well. 49 and going on🎉
I live in Idaho just a few miles away from the original, iconic Oregon Trail. You can still clearly see the wagon wheel ruts from the 1800s.
Those ruts are so ingrained into the soil that nothing grows in them, even after almost two centuries of non-use.
Childhood trauma so ingrains our brain patterns into ruts of behavior. It takes effort to break up those "ruts" to allow new "trails" of words, deeds, social morays, and a new generational pattern for future generations.
Great analogy! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Calista, you're my favorite co-fairy. You are so sweet.
Talking of childhood trauma.. Those wagon wheel ruts.. Can you imagine the childhood trauma that took place in those days - the slaughter, the torture and killing of prisoners by the various Indian tribes - it must have been hell on earth for so many of those early settlers (who were usually forced to relocate).
@@robinhood6954 in reality, very few were killed by belligerent Indian tribes. Something like 2%. The rest died of sickness and accidents. But trauma, nonetheless.
Historical inaccuracies: they didn't circle the wagons from protection against Indian attacks. They did it to keep animals from wandering off.
Trying to create a different life isn't without cost or hardship, whether it be finding virgin lands or breaking free from the "ruts" of childhood PTSD.
@@joeljoy4144 It's not so much the individual numbers but more the fact that such ordeals had to be endured by anyone - especially children - during those times. When I was staying in the Ozarks I read a book entitled 'Frontier Women', and all I can say is, they sure showed more courage and endurance than any woman has to today. We should all be grateful for having arrived in this world AFTER the worst was over (apart from all those still being duped into going out and fighting various 'orchestrated' wars of course).
I'm really appreciating these longer compilations. They allow for more binge listening to all this gold. I've been trying for years to heal from all sorts of trauma, and it seems like every time I start to make efforts something happens no retraumatize me. I feel beaten down and feeble, and every time I try to reach for a door in my little fortress, my brain hits me back to say, "These walls are here for your protection. You've never seen anything out there that is good for you. The life you want doesn't exist, and you're so damaged that you don't deserve to have it anyway." Therapy is helping but not as much as I wanted it to. These videos have given me a sort of renewed strength to change my situation.
I don't know why, but I experienced it years ago too, that therapists that are really good, are rare.
They should understand you, help you with reflecting and selfreflecting and encourage you like a good coach, to go for your goals in life. (Of course when they are not harmfull to others 🙂).
But somehow you go there and it doesn't help much. Strange.
It's the Same as everywhere...they want you to stay longer...a woman told me, she would be in constant therapy since 17 years. Uhg...usually you don't get payed that long by the insurance in Germany. Even in our ,social, system, you can get usually at maximum 50 sessions and then you have to wait two years, to get new sessions payed. Maby in worst cases it's different, I don't know. But of course 50 is much, if they would get used efficiently! What they aren't usually.
And the other thing is, until you get just a place by a therapist, you wait from three months to a year. Mostly half a year. And when you really need help irgendly (dringend), than you have to wait never the less.
And it's not said at all, that the chemistry then, between the thetapist and you is fitting or that it is helpfull.
And Here is a lot about insurance reasons missleaded unecessary therapies too.
Another woman told me, that she is only physical i'll because of parasites and worms that were found in her liver etc. Doctors Long time didn't find out, why she got so many foodallergies, fatigue, pain in her body etc. It ended up by this, that she couldn't Work anymore.
Now she found a private to pray doctor, that can and is going to help her.
But that the insurance pays her time, when she can not work, she had to go to the psychotherapist. Allthough she and the therapist said, she doesn't need nor want this sessions! But she has to go, because they think, she just would have a psychological problem. Hm.
Imagine, they pay for her sallary/income and waste a lot of money to her sessions where she don't want to go. And others with huge psychic problems have to wait a year, to get her therapy place.
I tell you, German (or elsewhere) logics are strange and uneconomically.
I see my life explained - 73 years of it. Even one year of understanding my life will be worth it.
Yes exactly. Feel to old and no desire for relationships, The one day is better than the merry go round of mental health treatment. Thank you for insight. It made me crazier with traditional mental health help.
I learned not to take ownership of other peoples bad behavior. Their bad behavior has nothing to do with me. It’s their problem. I got out and it CHANGED EVERYTHING!
Thanks for sharing, I'm so happy to hear that :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Hard for an infj
Cptsd can make a child feel that they are responsible for fixing relationships. They need to work out how to keep their parents happy, and its their fault if the parent is angry/violent etc. This incorrect belief can then translate into adult relationship - friends or lovers. The truth is that someone being crappy to you is crappy. They will stay crappy as long as they are getting away with it. And unfortunately there are plenty of people with cptsd to keep fueling the fire.
TY for this Wisdom. Often I have been my worst enemy.. Now I see Why..I must get free from rutted rotten beliefs and pay the price of transformation. I am worth it
Sometimes I have the feeling, it's to much wadhed over.
I mean by that, that sometimes children do mistakes too and even tough ones. So it's ok and understandable, when parents, teachers and all that, get angry and say stop.
But the thing is, how they do it.
And another thing is, when parents are psychological ill and dysfunctional and traumatized themselves and then are behaving like shit, ignorant and cruel to their kids, because they don't feel well!
And not because the Kids did something bad.
So the crappy thing is, when kids get harmed out of nothing. Or allthough something is Not their fault.
In healing from trauma, WE should see and reflect clearly, what Others did and what WE did.
As an example:
I was raised in a toxic and dysfunctional family. They were most of the time.
My parents were often nasty narcistic and so on, I don't go into detail now.
That was very bad for me!
I remember, I was a few times also not nice. I did tell my mother, she didn't cook well, when she didn't or I found the food too boring.
Yes, I wased before, while and after that criticised by her a lot. So I was used to this form of criticising each other. But because I was born as an empath and with big spiritual heart, I only rarely criticised her like with the food. Most of the time I helped her, took care of my siblings, made the household and tried to solve their marriage problems. So I parented them. Because they didn't parent me and us so well.
The point is to ask oneself:
Where did I really do mistakes too?
Where was I mean to another one?
Were do I wanna be better in contact with others, Like clearer, but friendly and empathetic, even if they behave strange?
When we are more self healed, we can help others better to get out of their missbehaviour by staying clear, friendly and calm.
So if a mother says here: uh....my children are so this and that.
Hm. You are older then them.
You were there before they were there.
How did you treat them?
What were you as a role model to them?
And only because you had trauma, they are kids and they don't have to parent you, even if you had to parent your parents. (Just in case).
Because it's the false direction of WHO is for whom responsible.
Traumatized mothers or parents forget that or don't know this and mix it through.
But if you are the mother, you are responsible and not your child.
OK, of course can narcistic character roule there too, If a child got used from a narcistic parent to hurt the other parent.
But hey: it's good to think of, what is a healthy direction of responsebility and how looks a healthy role acting of a mother, of a father and what should a child may experience and live like?
Victims often go into this,me me me, thing too, as narcistic people do. And don't ask the kids how it was to have you as a parent and what they missed.
So yes, heal yourself frst and be allow yourself to cry over it. Or to be angry, but under the anger isactually sadness and disapointment.
Then, after you only have focused on what others did to you, look what you did to others and where you failed ir.
And if very healed and strong, one can connect with one by one child and ask: how are you ? How was your childhood for you with me as mother or father?
And don't defend yourself. Just listen and after that you can Tell your (adult) child, what you have been through and what your problems were. And that you are sorry for haven't or couldn't have done it better at that time.
Do say sorry!
Crappy Childhood Fairy, Here is momma’s hug to you , after all the things that happened to you including getting surgeries while being a solo mom- I can understand, and you have risen above that like a phoenix and guiding others so that we don’t get lost, I was on the verge of making trauma my identity- but yes I can’t let the story take over me and keep writing my own story. Lots of love and best wishes ❤
Thank you. What a kind note to start my day.
Raging is terrible. I used to do that. One day I decided to wait until an argument was over. When I was alone I fell to the floor and allowed myself to cry. The cry was painful and releasing.
Not even a minute in and already the tears are falling. I see how much this topic affected my soon to be ex-husband’s ability to be in a healthy and loving marriage and my heart breaks for what could have been. What could have been his healing and happiness, what could have been a loving and happy marriage, what could have been our children that never arrived.
Thank you so much for posting this. I don’t know that I’m ready right now to receive your message in its entirety but I’m hoping to be strong enough in the future, even if just momentarily, to slowly listen as able to.
God bless you for putting in the time and effort to helping us heal. I just wish and pray that my husband will one day heal, too.
How are you doing? Your comment is so touching.
Trauma Bonding wired from childhood survival.
I deserve to heal, and to connect with people who are healing too. I don’t accept any more toxicity.
Yeah I get it universe. I hear you.
I AM self-sabotaging. Going for unavailable people.
Working on it 💪
Good of you to own it. 😁
I realized I've been an expert in this Crap-Fit area, too.
Boom! Great work just saying it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Same here. And I've just realized that. 👍
I never got to stay at home during the pandemic, had to keep turning up to work, having contact with lots of people and taking care of my students both in person and online, but had to go home to my empty house, unable to see my emotionally distant avoidant (now ex) boyfriend or friends. Everyone else were group FaceTiming and I would ignore the call. I couldn't bear to hear how hard it was for them all staying home. I was so exhausted and wanted time out from people but wasn't given the luxury, and resented everyone who got to stay home. I have never mentally recovered from the stress and pressure of my job at that time. I think I am still full of resentment. I was always a social butterfly - always invited to the party. Now I don't care about anything really.
I have just discovered your Chanel and started the daily practice as of yesterday. Thank you for all you do.
I think the Daily Practice will be beneficial for you. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. We're all rooting for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you
Has anyone else been binge watching the Fairy like me? Is that an avoidance technique? Lol 😂. Thank you Anna! I have been doing the Daily Practice. Your work will forever change how I view and handle my family.
So glad to hear this! I'm curious -- how have your views changed?
I too have been listening/watching a lot. I’m hopeful this will shed some light through this wall I have been building to protect myself.
Meaning what I thought was normal, I can see now was not healthy and why we are the way we are. But even though it wasn't my fault, it is my responsibility to heal!
im finally going to be one of the ppl posting a thank you. i think i have just managed to finally heal. without this channel, i would still be wasting my time and money trying to make talk therapy work when it simply doesnt work for me. thank you for the information, the gentle way of giving tough advice, and not just regurgitating the same old useless advice that “mental health professionals” always give. cptsd is not a diagnosis in the dsm, yet it was what ive been suffering from for decades without help. i just did the impossible and saved myself from drowning, and this channel has been a huge help. im glad to know it’s here if i have slip-ups and hard times in the future. 🖤 sending love and well wishes to anyone else going through it. you are not alone.
Feeling this
Anna has gotten to the core issues I myself have. Finally someone is that cued in and I thank you. I am in the Behavioral Health field and she tops any therapists. 🙏 I personally need Anna's audio/videos. I'm so grateful.
@1:55 Healing begins when you make the decision to question your trauma-driven beliefs.
God bless you, Anna. I have been binge watching your videos for about a week. I am amazed at the mindset shift I've experienced in just this short amount of time. Your voice is so comforting and soothing. I also appreciate it when you include tough love for accountability and a clear perspective. I am 34, and until now, I never had the words, much less the tools, to describe what I felt was "wrong" my entire life. Now I have hope, thanks to you and a fantastic and supportive therapist that I can discuss these topics with. You sincerely deserve an honorary doctorate or even a Nobel Peace prize. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
Same in Germany.
There is behavioural therapy, deep psychology after C.G.Jung etc. And nearly no traumatherapy/therapists that are financed by insurances.
The few traumatherapists that are here, work private.
So it seemed to me like the government (or who it orchestrates), is only focused on the different symptoms and results (illnesses), than on to heal the roots of it, the trauma experiences.
So I am glad to have found this channel.
her voice is so comforting! i agree! ❤
Oh Anna. Gosh, I don't know what to write except I am compelled to say thank you. I am in the midst of "it" right now. The clouds have parted after 40 years of personal discovery. I am currently doing the daily practice every day, it changed everything! My God! what an instant and noticeable change. Again THANK YOU! I sought your newest videos and looked up your specific shame meditation to help me deal with a situation I blew yesterday. I can feel like my dysreg will be much shorter this time. I'm saving my money to become a member
Wow, that's amazing! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'm sure Anna will want to read this. -Calista@TeamFairy
I started listening to you a few months ago. I did it mainly to help my 14 year old granddaughter whom was abandoned after her mom just left her. She had been abused, neglected, beaten and locked in yer room for 6 years. I have found your lessons very helpful for me as well. because I have CPTSD. I am 66. I have recovered. But I spent 10 years in therapy in my 20's & 30's working through my issues. Thank God for you! You are helping me help her❤❤❤
Oh, I wish you all strength to help your granddaughter! What a gift to her that you work on your own healing!
My granddaughter is a gift to me! I Love her so much I would do anything to make her or me better! Thanks for y'alls kind words of encouragement.❤
@40.00 "It's better to be true to yourself more than to be true to your story." That's deep.
I’m SO GRATEFUL to you for your ANSWERS! I always knew that *something* was wrong with me. But, I couldn’t explain it to myself.
My childhood was awfully traumatic. So….as an adult, I would take anything to feel some sort of comforting love. And, I suffered from abuse & abandonment. THANK YOU for your explanations. I am making good changes. ❤️
I keep thinking I'm healed, then boom, I realize I ain't over anything.
Me too! And I do the daily practice and continue to watch all the videos and do see a therapist every week for 10 years now! Honestly, what’s it going to take?! 😢
I love these long videos you release on Sunday mornings, Anna. I so look forward to watching them while I eat breakfast and have coffee because I have the luxury of time to take it all in. Thank you. 😊❤
This one is awesome. Listening to Anna's common sense, practical approach has guided me to trust my own instincts and has helped me a great deal in figuring out what works for me in healing & moving forward. I realized that I really don't get "triggered" by much. I am pretty fearless in that way. However I can get dysregulated very easily at times. I feel like what has been my challenge that had me so stuck & frustrated is that I didn't know how to get regulated and would therefore think that "talking about/confronting" the trauma would help. For me it was just a waste of time. Since I have started to put my focus on getting regulated my life is improving dramatically. I feel like I finally see a way forward and have a plan. Thanks again Anna. See you next week for the seminar. Best, Kevin
That's amazing! I'm so glad the channel has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Agreed
My name is May so it felt like you were talking to me and I loved it. In your videos it often feels like you are talking to me and about me. First comment ever and thank you for the many ways you are helping me and everyone else that watches. ❤
I started with the prompt " what would I be without pain/trauma" and could not answer...so I wrote my current values (ie trauma responses) and their manifestation at work and relationships. Then transcribed the opposite of those and came up with the new state of being. Thank you!! This was beyond helpful!!
I ONLY seem to attract unavailable men. I just gave up on dating sites because it just seemed like every man was wanting very inappropriate relationships and somehow even that makes me feel rejected, unlovable and literal misfit. I know that I’m not responsible for what they do or say but I guess it just triggers something in me feeling not good enough, not worthy of a good guy because I’ve probably never had one. I had men who were just less worse than others. My parents were both alcoholic and I feel like I was raised in a come here/go away relationship. My mother was completely self absorbed, couldn’t be bothered with her children and their needs. I’m currently, barely in a situationship that is barely even that. I know it’s unworkable, we don’t even really get along that well but even the idea of me telling him that he should no longer contact me or me taking a stand and and not contacting him gives me major anxiety. It’s as if I’m so satisfied with the absolute bare minimum of effort. I’m very much into limerence and fantasy with him, it’s something that I’ve turned to since I was a young child to cope with the rejection and abandonment I felt from my parents.
Changing beliefs matter. I changed mine and am changing those.
Moving along I agree ❤
This young 25 year old girl is so lucky she can heal at that age.
Ohhhh Amen girl! You're wayyyyy ahead of the game as I'm almost 65 and just found Anna a week ago! I watch her all day every day and am working the daily practices now. Already going out and about and to the gym, so encouraged about getting back Into the business of life!!! Thank you Anna!!!
@@danniolsen1960 I'm late 40's and feel like I've wasted my whole life away. So glad you are doing well, you've inspired me.
I ruminate. And ruminate. And ruminate. Then I get some breaks which are very nice. I like isolating. I like being alone spending time with myself. It feels like the right thing since I chased after people because I was so lonely when I was young. It feels good to not be lonely and to like myself :-). I only found this channel recently and I thank you because I can relate.
Hugs. You're with us now.
You are without a doubt the best therapist I ever had, (and I had a few) without even have met you in person. Thank you for your amazing work, you are truly a life saver Anna! So much love ❤
Even though I was aware I grew up in a dysfunctional environment I didn't give it much thought since that is the way it was for nearly everyone I've known. I was aware that there were more than a few very traumatic situations I was part of that no one else I've known has ever had to deal with.
When the bad situations ended and the sun came up the next day, I would continue on like it never happened. I never thought of myself as the victim since the trauma had happened to my mother, not me, I was just the helpless bystander, and if she never brought it up neither would I.
So, here I am now 60+ years later and only now, because of concepts such as shadow work and podcasts such as yours do I realize that I too was affected and that trauma doesn't go away simply by not thinking about it. I never realized that it might be the reason I've always pushed people away and have no one close. YT comments are my main source of human interaction. Pretty sad, huh. And that is just the tip of the iceberg on my laundry list of dysfunctions.
I dislike the idea of needing to spend time dredging it all up again, but the need to do just that remains constant now So, I've watched the first couple videos of the daily practice and plan to start this evening? As a hope-a-holic, I am hoping it will be the key that allows me to fix all that is broken.
I wonder if Melanie's father actually had another family and was living a double life. Sounds like her mother was the mistress. It would explain a lot about her past, especially why her father never protected her from the abusive mother. It's strange how our past traumas keep repeating themselves in relationships until we heal. Watching your channel is really helping me.
The mistress thing is something actually only men can do. Cause a mother won't have two different households in two cities and children with each. 😮
But women can have kids with several men and do as if they were from the man they are with. As I heared, this happened too, of course a lot during wars...and from time to time still will happen everywhere.
But No matter which way, this is painful for the kids as they find out and at the end hurts all. Or makes ill. Sick relationships cause a lot of chronical illnesses.
I'm pretty sure I have a Trauma Bond with my parents. Lately, my father. While caring for my Dad, he expressed enjoying getting to know me again. Soon afterward I accidentally found out he was having an affair. He cut off communication with me for 8 months. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas he text me. Then he cut me off again. I'm coming to terms with accepting that our relationship will never be the same again. Grieving a lot in the process. I'm not chasing him as much as I did at first. Having dreams of him dying without reconnecting lately. Working on my fears and resentment.
Working out those fears and resentments is the way to go! We have more support in our membership, lots of people who are caring for parents which requires a lot of support! bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
Intermittent reinforcement is tricky. Sometimes it's far from intentional or openly malicious. I had a relationship with a person who displayed signs of a dismissive-avoidant attachment style and while there was a great deal of good communication, the lack of emotional warmth kept me sort of hungry at all times. I remarked to my therapist that had this girl been more open emotionally, I reckon I would have seen our incompatibility clearer. But the emotional distance made me chase her and proved fertile soil for the build-up of limerence.
I don't blame her per say. It's who she is.
It’s funny…I love my therapists and I find talking about my traumas really helps me….I don’t talk to friends about it just my therapist…i am also doing EMDR and it helps a lot…. I do journal but sparingly…I just don’t find that writing or journaling works for me. I need a real human being to listen. I never got that growing up I guess. It’s like I need someone to actually see me. It’s validating…writing stuff down on paper just doesn’t do it for me for some reason..Thank you though for your videos. I learn a lot from you!
That's the keys, stop the disconnection, the dysregulation, and the self-defeating behavior. You said it at about the 28:30 mark. And just start anywhere you said...!
Anna, I am so happy I found you. I, too, grew up in a poor and dysfunctional family (alcoholic mother and narcissist father) in Berkeley. And your work is really helping me.
I'm so happy to hear that! Thanks for commenting, I'm sure Anna will want to read this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
After years and years of therapy, thanks to you, I finally started to realise what is causing a lot of my anxiety. Although I have a long way to go, I pray for healing and health. I wish you all the best and may you be blessed. ❤❤
So true. So spot on. 68 years nothing works. Just realizing this helps know that's it.
Your work is so helpful. My last narcissist-I was able to just turn on him, tell him off, and walk out the door. Thank you so much.
The beginning of this video was exactly what I needed to hear today, which confirmed what is at the crux of my perpetual problems. The wisdom in the 1st five minutes of this video is comparable to a thousand dollar$ and countless hours in therapy. Anna, your work is so amazing and your success story is inspiring on many levels. Thank you Wisdom Fairy 🧚♀️
I started the daily practice a week or so ago. After a few days I noticed I had less things bothering me. Writing it out and releasing it really does something powerful! I'm glad i gave it a go. I've intended to do that practice for a few years and I am glad I finally tried it out. I'm watching this video from a new place...as someone who is more healed, who sees myself as capable of finding deeper and deeper levels of peace. It's largely thanks to your channel that I have made sense of my trauma and found the right tools to get well again.
Thank you so much for sharing a few of the details about what the DP is like. This is so helpful to people who are thinking about it, but having trouble believing anything so simple could make difference. I'm so glad you're here!
❤
I've heard of trauma bonds before and resonated with that, regarding my recent dating life. But somehow the way Anna said it made me realize my relationship with my ex-husband was that, too. And why it hurt SO BAD, how disproportionally wrecked I was when he left me. I was addicted. It was more than just a divorce. Damn...
OK so now I'm thinking about my sister's different reaction to our shared trauma. I'm a faun. She's a fighter. She has a well adapted, healthy life and never procrastinates. Never seems to have shame or compounded issues. I on the other hand am the opposite. And you know, part of that I'm sure is because of the labels we got. I was the "good" daughter with the duty to fix everything. She was the "bad" daughter. I wonder if- because of the labels we got as kids, my sister got a head start on the healing...?
I'm a 19 years old man who suffer from CPTSD, Gaming Disorder, Adjustment disorder mixed with anxiety and Depression. My gift is strong sprite, which consists of high resistance, resilience, and strong intuition. It trigger me so much when talking about neglect and abuse, and I just want to be hide from this world.
Connect with friends you haven't heard from in years...I did...We were so happy to speak! Try not to isolate.
I hope to one day be as understanding and compassionate as you, Anna.
I definitely need to reconnect mentally with people.
Same , and it's difficult ! ❤
Anna don’t change a thing. Your videos have put me to bed so many nights as mantas for not feeling alone. just to have someone saying all the things i’m doing thinking feeling saying. i just really appreciate and respect and love you and your content so very much! keep going! ❤
I’ll never forget how my dad would come home from work every evening mad as hell (because he was drunk) picking fights with me, and I never submitted because I’ve always had that warrior spirit, but that of course made him more angry. I’d usually be grabbed and dragged by my wrists to my room, and thrown in there. Without fail, the next morning, there would always be a card slipped under my bedroom door. “I’m sorry. I love you, dad.”
I've been in therapy for years now, understood my self-sabotaging bag of tricks ...and then fell again for a man who seemed all but emotionally unavailable. We had genuine potential , and I was actively working on myself now that the old reactions had a chance to get triggered, but he would leave me at any argument, be blatantly passive aggressive when not, and refused psychotherapy or even self help.
I wish I could believe he cared about me, but his defenses so unaware... He chooses to believe the worst of people so he hasn't lost much...
My therapist says it matters that I tried honestly but I keep asking myself how I did not see he was not interested in trying to talk...
I’ve shared your videos with many of my friends who are supportive, wonderful, kind and also can benefit from your practices and daily tasks.
Thank you for your all your great help, support and excellent work! I listen to you every morning and finally know how to approach my interactions and emotions properly
This lady is a blessing. Awesome. Keep spreading healing, so many need it. So many teens and young adults complain about loneliness and not having any friends.
Just got introduced to you yesterday. A friend of mine was sharing her victory and was asking me questions about my life. As i listened to her I became so angry and the pain was so bad. I know at this point that when that happens the Lord is starting to heal another area and there is a wrong feeling. He’s brought me so far already, and is I listen to your videos I realize I was almost everything you say. BUT GOD! I LOVE people and get to be sunshine wherever I go, except those people very close to me. As I listen I feel so much shame that I am this way, I know I get to speak Gods truth about who I am instead and learn who I am without this trama.
I don’t remember the first 8 years of my life. A few flashes have come into my mind, but over all I don’t. What do I do? I don’t want any more closed doors.
Oh boy!!! do I watch your videos??!! I have been in therapy for over six years, and I have a word now, or a name for what happens to me when sometimes someone says something and I go from 0 to 1000!! Sometimes, I can hardly control myself as to what I’m saying!! I bought both books that you recommended, and I am going to buy your book as well. This has been so eye-opening, and hard for me. I just thought something was wrong with me. you have no idea how much you have helped people like me. I have to say, this is such a hard journey. Three different people told me about your channel before I started watching it, I know that had to be divine intervention. Thank you.🙏🙏💕
Releasing is the only path to surrender to the higher frequency of the universe. So glad you're daily practice is geared for this, thanks 💕🙏🏼😇
For some reason, I feel really depressed and sad when I listen to these situations. My situation is not as bad as these but it screws me up so badly I feel like dying.
So thankful to have stumbled on your work. I've never heard a better communicator of how this feels. Such empathetic affirmation of how it feels has provided immediate relief, a sense of belonging. And hearing your encouragement towards personal accountability of healing without feeling shamed feels incredible! THANK YOU!
You are a answer to ALL our prayers!THANK YOU!
This has been my last couple weeks. I'm making huge life changes that will free me and heal me as a result.
I get it now. I didn't know how to let go. I am ready now. Thank you Ana.
At the age of 57, I am still struggling with letting go of a very long time chaotic and broken relationship 😟
The abandonment mélange is interesting. I've been fighting against a critical attitude towards an ex friend who stood me up for dinner plans, and then I completely switched on them, and for the past 15 years I can't stand them, and I know its irrational. Maybe them standing me up triggered this abandonment well for me I suppose its rage rather than sadness.
Dear Fairy,
Thank you so much for doing this amazing educational channel. You are my favourite RUclips Hero❤
I call it living with an addict. YOU are wonderful for sharing your light.
Anna you truly have God given gifts ... your clarity and comforting manner of expressing tough love are a nourishing blessing to so many!
I love you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm hoping that someone I care so much about will click on this and just watch it.
I've done all I can to hopefully draw attention to it on my Facebook and that she clicks on it.
On a side note I created a dancing style during lockdown that I feel allows people the ability to feel connected to others without directly bothering them.
I've been doing it for a year or so and it provides the most effective method that includes body movement for physical exercise, the emotional rejuvenation from dancing in public confidently due to my easy to learn style.
It allows me to connect to literally everybody I run into downtown Portland Oregon.
I can't even walk 5 minutes without someone smiling and waving at me, or even joining me and dancing too!
It's all spontaneous and so fun!
I'll be teaching it for free and hopefully, create videos so l can post it on RUclips and share it across the world.
This dancing style solves everything that would be fulfilling for victims of cptsd.
I'll make sure to keep you posted. I owe you a lot. Perhaps this will help break the one I care dearly out of her freeze.
I've been 4 years no contact with her so far and I've been looking for answers and now I believe I found it through you combined with my dancing style.
I love her so much that I believed in the love between her and me was worth going through 4 years no contact then though we only went on 3 dates.
We didn't every have time to argue about anything so when I surprised visit her at her work with flowers, she couldn't handle the overwhelm and I guess it triggered her and that's when my journey began.
I was crushed. Of course I eventually picked myself up and learned about my codependency and abandonment wounds and healed it myself!
No matter how much I healed, my heart was still calling for her. I wanted to find out what went wrong.
I'm so glad I kept at it and didn't give up.
I tried to thank her for doing what she did 4 years ago. It allowed me to notice my wound for me to look at. Luckily I was able to navigate it. It was super tough!
But I made it.
I was really grateful for her to trigger my wound for me to heal, which led me to create my dancing style because of how I wanted to show her thanks.
Hopefully she will contact me and I can share with her what I created thanks to her.
Your information is the best thing I’ve seen. I had a terrible childhood due to ADHD and neglect. I was under a tremendous amount of stress no kid should go through. Everyone thought I had a great childhood from the outside looking in. ☹️☹️
Thank you so much 🙏 your words resonate and hit home like nothing else. I love your practical approach because when your caught up you need practical steps...you can tell that you speak from your heart and personal experience and I am so glad I found your channel as it is exactly what I need. I used to write a lot and I was proud of how I handled life but after getting caught up in a trauma bond I lost myself and stopped writing, for the past 6 months the universe, from every angle has been saying to me 'write write ✍️' but I didn't know how to start until now, the steps and practical approach is just what my exhausted mind needs right now. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and helping people on their healing journey. Bless you ❤
Anna I want to thank you for being the most important person I was supposed to come in contact with in my miserable life. Everything that comes out of you is going into me totally comprehended straight into my memory I'm blown away how everything everyone one of your topics I'm going yep that's it I get it it's helping me so much thank you so much you are so awesome. The I hate about videos on RUclips is setting waiting on the good part telling whoever is doing the video to stop rambling get to the good stuff. I don't have that with you ever 😊 You completely on point with every word. Yours truly Bryan P. The Lone Stranger ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Well kind words is all that someone should have for someone like yourself that has done so much for me and everyone else for years I can't imagine the hours and hours of work and research for me and everyone like us .Hope to actually meet you someday thank you so much for being so pro feel so lucky to have found you .God Bless ..Bryan P / The Lone Stranger 🌞
I relate so much to these videos and to the women writing in. I wish there was a club where we could meet women who are like us who understand and get it, and could be kind and supportive and start a friendship with. I’m so isolated it’s scary.
You have positively changed my life! It’s good now…thank you ❤
I'm so glad!
Samsies
Yes iam so isoleded and lonly .
I didn't realize how much I got going on internally until Anna came along. I know what she is saying has truth because everything I'm going through, (which is very challenging and hard) how I'm feeling, she speaks on. In every video I've watched so far, whether it's me going through my separation or all emotions and mental issues, I find myself in tears just listening. Very informative and calming voice that makes me want to listen and take the methods with an open heart. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement.
I'm scared I won't be able to get better. I met someone who understands and is here for me regardless of what he doesn't understand or can't help with. My story is too long, but I never met anyone like him and I don't want to lose him or make him suffer.
Anna thank you for all you do.
Thank you amazing Anna for this awesome video and all of your others. You have a gift for articulating the mental health issues we experience. I’m beyond grateful for you. Also thank ms to followers who share their stories as I can relate exactly to many.
Lots to unpack here and jowls I am seeing that I'm carrying around the self sabotaging beliefs from my emotionally abusive father.
Scars deep doesn't it ❤
And that weight , feels as heavy as lead , you can transform this though I promise you the first step is seeing it. You're om the road x❤
I keep a small circle. Quality over quantity..also.. I dont like people. So when I organically feel a connection with someone (super rare), I will do everything I can to nurture it and support them fully. I try to be the best friend for them that I can.
How do you get confidence in yourself when you live with bad people?
Do teas or light therapy help?
You can start working on yourself despite them.
Try the Daily Practice to deal with the inevitable fears and resentments.
Free Daily Practice Course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Caleb@TeamFairy
So many thanks for sharing this Healing!
Anna, you look lovely and I love striped Ts! 💕 And I absolutely love the content of this video. Your voice is calm, and message both wise and gentle. Thank you.
28:00 YESSS! Connection! That's how we all work! We each need connection in our own special ways, some would call that community! We all have something somewhere that makes the world go from stress stress stress, to, oh, things make sense again.
29:57 Once you're able to talk about it, even just once, you need to put those feelings into creation. Something dark and destructive has happened to you, but things swing back around, it's just hard to find what really drives you back into gear.
33:00 Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all just understood each other? Oh, and disconnection is more than likely possible for most people. It's all mental. You created, even if it was just to destroy the paper in a bonfire.
36:00 There's a theory I have about this. With each of us, most of the time, societal interactions are stressful, so it's pushing a button in each of us, resetting our focus back to whatever trauma we need to have time to deal with and bring out into the world in a creative way. There's a trap room in D&D where the players are forced into a room with a single button in the middle of the room, with a timer on the wall that slowly ticks down, but resets when the button is pressed. So the players press it again and again, trying to figure out how to get out, until they resign themselves to simply letting the timer go. Poof, anxiety goes away and the door opens, often times with a gift to the party in the form of currency or equipment. It just takes a lot of time to figure out what it is that you need to create.
37:56 The ability to choose is terrifying sometimes, but rewarding when you finally internalize it.
38.27 Hey, look, what helps with trauma can be put out front first with creativity in some way.
39:28 Yeah, but you're doing a great job in helping people. I have my current endeavors partially to attribute to the healing process.
41:15 Heeeeeeyyyyy, novelty. It's a magical thing to create something new!
46:59 Button press, button press... love yourself, protect the button, see the love.
49:52 I got about 70%, but I could be a little more generous than I should be.
Just caught myself picking at my feet while staring at my personal planner. Hey, look at that, need to occupied the hands with something creative, otherwise it goes to destruction.
1:01:30 Knowing you can do nothing to help another person with everything is a grand step in the healing process.
Dear Anna, I've been watching your videos for a few weeks now and everything you're describing about childhood trauma has been ringing true for me. This is such an amazing relief that you've found a way out of your past! I'm 44 now and was in denial that I even have CPTSD for much of my life and after mental health providers have given me a definite diagnosis as such. I'm also in early recovery for substance use and some other mental health issues. Your work is helping me and I feel a sense of possibility for my present and future! A MILLION THANKS for all the specifics about what it's been like and how to change!!!
-Adam
Wow, I'm so glad you found the channel! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you.
YOU are important please help you! You're not bad and you truly deserve better! Enough with putting others before you! Please don't wait! Take your time healing. You're worth it and you aren't invisible, Bad, don't put that in your head. I just wish you all the happiness in the world. Please put you first ❤
26:47 I know that our healing is personal but we grow in healthy connection with others and our selves thank u for this reaffirmation‼️‼️
Reminds me of both my parents...Purposeful. God I'm so fucked in the head, well, not as bad as before
You can heal , start by looking into your own eyes in the mirror, it gets better ❤
@54:24 oof I dated a man like that. He was not only twice my age, but just like my dad, even had the same birthday. He was a functional alcoholic, the kind who just drank at night but would drink til he was drunk every time. And then he’d become really mean and terrifying. And nothing could snap him out of it. That relationship was last year and it severely retraumatized me, after I was making some progress in my healing. He’d then come tearfully apologizing to me the next day saying that I saw “the dark side of him”, that’s all I needed to know. I don’t want someone with a dark side. I’m so glad I escaped from that situation. I really escaped. I was full fledged panicked around him every day
Thank you so happy I found you! ❤I am struggling delay 😢late 50’s , talk therapy has not worked except make me feel totally broken.
I would love to meet you in person Anna... to thank you for your work! You helped me so much!
Thank you Ana. I'll be doing live workshops this spring in U.S. and Europe. Maybe you live close to one of the cities? bit.ly/40GTJwD
Where about in Europe? Hope in Northern Europe 🤗
I love 💗 how Patrick is open to other tools.😊
I don’t trust the people I bring into my life because I choose victimizers. It is better to be alone. I was drawn to an abusive male therapist. That was the last straw.
❤
HI ANNA, AFTER HEARING BITS OF YOUR LIFE EVENTS, I AM ASTOUNDED!!!!😮 I JUST CAN'T INAGINE HOW YOU'VE COME THIS FAR??? IM FEELING THAT WE HAVE ONLY HEARD A FRACTION OF YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES!!! 😮 YOU'RE SO BALANCED IN YOUR VIEW OF REPAIR. YOUR PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS ARE SO DOWN HOME AND WITH MASSIVE COMMON SENSE!!! YOU'RE GIVING ME GREAT IDEAS IN WORDS I CAN UNDERSTAND!!! " WONDER WOMAN" ANNA❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for this sweet comment, Patricia!
TeamFairy
Thanks for your great insight Anna
You are so welcome!
Everytime I get hope that a person is not damaged its a lie. A punch in the throat. I honestly believe I am here to catapult people to change but not for me so they can be better for the next woman so I am good. I do better alone period. 40 years alone happened for a reason. What's 20 more?
Anna, do you have any advice for people who have relatively good instincts, are at a place where they are most attracted to good/available people, but become paralyzed by high levels of anxiety and self-consciousness around those good people?
This has been a persistent issue for me in romantic attraction - even if I have good reasons to think that the other person is appropriate for me and interested, the anxious feeling can still be so overwhelming that it's near impossible sometimes to even make eye contact or have a conversation. My dad never wanted me to be vulnerable with him or vice versa; the emotional vulnerability I feel in romantic attraction is viscerally terrifying. It's horrible and I get stuck on people for way too long because I can't get past my nervousness to even guage if we're compatible or not.
I have ended up staying way too long in bad relationships with emotionally unavailable people, partly because they're just easier to talk to.
Really helpful information in this great video, thank you Anna!❤
I'm so glad it was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I appreciate ALL your videos...this one is special! Ypu are helping people thank you a d blessings❤
Dear Anna, after watching many of your videos and continuously finding so much truth in them, I have just noticed another thing that I haven't come across yet: is it possible to be emotionally disregulated in a positive way with CPTSD?? I'm very familiar with the hurt and pain, see many toxic patterns in my families and my own life choices, but what if I also get overwhelmed by my feelings when I'm happy or hopeful? Like there's suddenly so much energy, joy, hopefulness, ideas and enthusiasm? But then quickly, as my head is filled with all these positive thoughts, it starts going through the roof and my heart starts hurting..!? I feel love that is overwhelming! Is this a possible part of CPTSD? Normally, I would assume it's more of a pointer to bipolar disorder or some other form of emotional instability as a character trait (according to Big 5).. maybe could you do a video on this? Thank you so much and thank you for all the greatness that you bring into this world!
We welcome a letter from you! bit.ly/CCF_Letters
-Cara@TeamFairy
I just don't see how I can ever heal from this.
I completely understand that feeling, but healing is possible and you deserve to experience it. If you're looking for a first step, Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice' is a great place to start. Here's a link if you want to check it out: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy