I Can’t Decide Whether or Not To Have Children
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- Опубликовано: 25 янв 2023
- Weighing the pros and cons of having children, a questioner looks to Kim for guidance. Kim cautions against waiting for a definitive answer, explaining that both paths are an opportunity to deepen into Presence.
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Kim Eng is the creator of Presence through Movement (PTM), a unique, powerful, and practical approach to accessing the present moment through the body and through movement. This meditative movement practice was inspired by and draws from the ancient mystical teachings of qigong, t’ai chi, yoga, as well as the spiritual insights of Eckhart Tolle-yet it is not affiliated with any particular religion, culture, or form of yoga.
As a facilitator of Presence through Movement, Kim travels and works extensively with her teaching partner Eckhart Tolle, the author of the best selling books The Power of Now and A New Earth. Kim has developed a teaching approach that incorporates and complements Eckhart’s teachings. Her work translates these teachings into a structured, embodied practice to support the arising of presence and the awakening of consciousness.
Kim has offered retreats and workshops in North America, Europe, and Australia. She is the author of two instructional DVDs on Presence through Movement-Qi Flow Yoga and Yin Yoga-and of two audio-learning programs, Meditations for A New Earth and Resist Nothing, featuring practical ways to overcome our inner obstacles to presence.
Kim was born in Vancouver, Canada. Her spiritual search began in the early 1980s. She met Eckhart in 1998, and soon after underwent a transformational spiritual experience while attending one of his retreats. This was followed by seven years of intense spiritual training, after which she began counseling and teaching.
Kim sees our true nature-our essence-as living in and through our human bodies. Through movement and through our bodies, we can return to and awaken to pure presence and oneness-to who we are beyond the thinking mind and egoic sense of self-accessing infinite power and creativity.
“When we are connected to Source, and body-mind-spirit are aligned-when we realize who we are at the core of our being-we blossom into our life purpose,” she says. “We cannot help but do so. And that is how we create what Eckhart Tolle calls ‘a new earth."
Family isn't just children. You can focus on building long term friendships with people. Have a community. Event those who have kids can't predict if they will be there. You can't force your version of family and connection with your child. That's the thing. Even if you give them your all they can still leave you and choose not to be in your life but friendships, community, people like this CHOOSE to be together and you can grow old with deep connections no matter what. Thinking children is the only way to enjoy growing old or have a "family" is a limiting belief. And it's not helpful. Women have been forced into childbirth for so long. Finally women can actually choose without being disparaged. It's a gift. So choose either way but know you can grow old with love and joy and connection no matter what either way.
This ❤❤ As a 32 year old woman I have never felt the calling to be a mom, even though I love children. My focus in this life is in different things, at least for now. My life is completely fulfilling as it is.
Thank you so much for sharing that 😊 ❤️ 🙏
@@deepthir503 your welcome. I felt like this perspective wasn't covered well in the video and needed to be shared🙏💖 bless you friend!
Very true.. I love how you point out this fact. Thank you ❤
I knew as a teen I didn't want children. You don't have to be single and not have kids and also there are plenty of lonely people who have them. I've NEVER regretted it.
I am a fulfilled single. I ve known this since I was a kid , that I would never be a mum.. I felt it a long time ago..that it has not been my path, my destiny..
byw. Kim Eng I adore listening to you! Your peaceful energy is like a balm to the soul🙏🌼
I am 76 years old and in my 20s I chose not to have children because that was when the pornographic magazine started coming out teaching men they don’t have to be responsible and I realize there was no guarantee that a husband would stick around to help me raise the children and I did not want to do it alone because children need both parents! It was the best decision I ever made and I’m so thankful every day that I made that decision! There is a passage in the Bible that basically says a woman without children gets to mother the world ! And that was so true God brought into my life many many people male and female that I could be a mentor for! It dramatically enriched my life and I am so thankful for the choice that I made not to have children! I was able to travel the world I was able to take care of both of my elderly parents and the years leading to their passing‘s which was a great honor and a great gift and I was not torn between my family and my parents! I was able to expand friendships around the world and develop deep friendships that I would not have been able to do if I was a mother! I never had a physical feeling of desire to have children so it was probably an easier choice for me than for others! I have since learned a lot about the fact that we choose to come into this World from a higher frequency dimension that is difficult to slow it down to the earthly frequency! It is a choice for us to learn certain lessons and I even heard of one individual he remembered his pre-birth and the fact that on the first original dissent into the earth at the last minute while in the room he chose he couldn’t do it and decided to go back and that that fetus died in the womb! Since then I understand a lot more about the choices that we make! I do get pregnant twice and aborted naturally early in the pregnancy! Later in life I had an out of body experience when I died on the operating table and I saw both of those children on the other side! They were beautiful children they were just not be in my lifetime on this earth! So there is much more to our life experience than having a family having children deciding to have pets Deciding where we live or what jobs to have! It is all about spiritual lessons that we need to learn before returning to our home where are soul resides! There is a part of you that is so certain of the path that you should take that you need to yield to that and to those choices! I have had and I’m living a wonderful joyful life and so thankful for every choice that I made that I would never want to go back and change those choices!
Thank you for this information !!! Thank you ! It touched my soul.
Kim, thank you very much for the wisdom in your videos, I live in Ukraine now and your videos with Tolle are a support for my inner peace🤍
What a tear-jerker. As a kid, I dreamt of having a big family, maybe because of Home Alone lol. I never thought about marriage like most girls did until 31, after my first heartbreak. Then, more heartbreak. lol I feel my lesson to learn in this lifetime is to surrender and go with my life so I opted not to freeze my eggs because if it was meant for me then it will happen. I spent so much time fighting what is in my earlier years. I think about women who complain about their kids and women who can't have kids and feel pain. I'm scared I will be lonely in my later years but it will be the spiritual lesson I will have to learn and be at peace with. Kim reminded me that at my deepest core, I always wanted to experience carrying a child because it is the most natural part of being a woman. I may need to open the doors to that thought again but leave it open to the Universe who knows my path more than me. Thank you, Kim. I'm really resonating with your teachings! 💚💚💚
I was like you..I tried and tried to meet man. But did not work out. So at 36 I decided I am open for love and a partner. I got pregnant this summer at 37. And los my child at 22 weeks.. Now It was a trauma. Still in me something said, make a baby. But I will be 38 and let me tell you how much pain I have .. I can not choose anymore... I have now a lovely partner and he does not want childeren anymore. But I do. What now?
So it is True time is ticking ....
If you have longed to carry a child at your deepest core, and have a chance to fulfil this, then I wish you the joy of motherhood. There's no virtue in denying our deepest wishes, or setting oneself up for painful spiritual 'lessons' like loneliness in old age.
@@jessicasabatini4904 Ahh, thank you for taking the time time to write a message and offer me well wishes. I forgot that I wrote this. I'll take this as a sign that it's time to go make babies. ☺I wish you joy and many blessings! 🤍🤍
@@jessicasabatini4904@jessicasabatini4904 Awe, thank you so much, Jessica, for taking the time to write a message and offer your well wishes. I forgot I wrote this. I guess I needed to express myself. I'll take this as a sign to go make some babies. ☺ I wish you joy and many blessings! 🤍🤍
I'm in the same situation right now......and I need to come to a decision soon
I am infertile but female, so to have children of my own was not an option for me. This has been a somewhat lonely dilemma with a lot of social stigma, for me. Perhaps the question to ask oneself could be, "If you could not conceive, would you adopt?". I found that an interesting part of my journey and it has helped me make my decisions about my life. Perhaps the most important part is to engage with parenthood (or not) with full intent and commitment, as best we can.
I think I might have fixed my infertility by working on the lower 3 chakras daily for 5-6 months. My period cramps were AWFUL: first 3 days with massive painkiller, could take 1200mg at once. I took one painkiller last time. I do feel my fertililty will be next. Good luck ❤ you CAN heal. Even if you don’t want kids it will help you and others.
Good clip but why are the two options: to have children or to be single and alone? I have meaningful relationships with my husband, my friends, people in my community. And what assurances do you have that you won't feel alone even if you do have children once they move out of the house? I can find meaning in creating something that will outlast me, in helping, in dedicating my time to different causes. Some people find this meaning in having children, I had it since I was in my twenties when creating a social project. So the reasoning in this clip doesn't work for me. I can't decide whether or not I should have children, so I won't. Maybe I'll adopt later in life.
Wow great response! I never wanted children. At age 60 I now sometimes wish I had given the loneliness I sometimes feel especially at holiday time. I am currently without a partner as well so life does seem empty at the human level when I have no one to share life's experiences and life challenges with. I think what Kim said is spot on and it's not right or wrong it's just what works best for my spiritual journey of Awakening. What most resonates as my path. 💞🙏💞
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I have two grown daughters, and I love them more than words can express……however, they have brought me to my knees at times……they have been my biggest teachers about life and reaching inside myself when feeling helpless to withstand storms of the soul……🙏💜
The first 2 major considerations when you are not sure: Are you considering only your "dream" child? Are you ready for a middle or worst case outcome? Are you doing it for YOU, or for the child? I believe in some cases if you are not SURE, then maybe don't do it. Why make a lukewarm decision that you may regret. I always wanted children and a family but due to familial karma always attracted women I was not interested in committing to and as a male at 56 I see the world closing around me as I'm not as interested in worldly engagements and feel shocked and in disbelief that I was given this chance to flourish on this planet and have failed. I feel robbed. I am very spiritual and interested in life and all things, but without family to share it with, it's somewhat empty more often than not. True spiritual friendships and even kinship have been more rewarding probably than many family relations, but those also seem to come and go as I live in a touristed and somewhat transient area.
I'm ready to have a child I feel a pull now more than ever. Fingers crossed I'm blessed with one 🙏❤️🌞
Thanks Kim🙏I have two beautiful daughters and I'm always thankful to life for having you and Eckhart ' wisdom as my light in my journey🙏
Kim , yo no tuve hijos porque tenia miedo de ser y tratarlos como mi madre me trató a mi. tengo 63 años y he estado reflexionando sobre esto y es verdad que tengamos o no hijos, tendremos también diferentes desafíos y aprendizajes. Tampoco me animé a adoptar. Y en los dos casos no me sentía, preparada emocionalmente. Hoy si me siento mejor, he sanado y he comprendido mucho y ya no es la edad para tener un hijo. igual, adoro los niños! y en cada uno veo a un hijo. Este comentario no lo he encontrado nunca y me parece muy importante, gracias por tratar este tema hoy. Lo otro que me sucedía es que tenía sueños donde estaba con un bebé , mi bebé y no tenía ropa para vestirlo ni tampoco alimento para darle, y otro sueño fue que corría por la calle con mi bebé y alguien me disparaba y me mataba y yo caía al suelo en la calle de noche sola y alguien se llevaba mi bebé. Eso fue fuerte para mi, ya no tengo más esos sueños pero me hicieron sentir miedo. y tampoco tuve una pareja con la que sintiera tener un hijo, y siempre sentí que un niño debía tener un papá y una mamá, no era bueno para mi tener un hijo sola, he vivido intensamente, he sido muy corajuda pero no tanto como para tener un hijo sola, personalmente creo que es un desafío mayor. Me encantaría tu comentario, gracias.
Thankyou for sharing your story ❤
So much to know to learn in life from you.. thankyou#love#
I don't think that to have or not have the children is a decision. Like anything else in life, really. It happens, sometimes along with our desires and sometimes not. It is more of a family history that predicts if this will happen.
In my case i don't have children and i don't feel good about it. I feel something important is lacking, and no amount of thinking can change that.
But, it looks like that me being frustrated about the whole thing is my spiritual teacher.
Actually, it's simple. Our life is always our spiritual teacher, whatever and however it is.
I'm deciding on whether or not to have a 2nd. Despite having many friends and cousins, my only child is lonely at home and loves babies. I'm 43 and know I want a second however I only want a healthy child. I had a second and terminated at 10 weeks as the fetus had downs syndrome. I don't want my son to suffer having to caretake. I want my son to have a healthy sibling. I also don't know if I can go through a termination again as it was traumatic. Playing it safe in a dangerous messy world doesn't feel right though.
Kim, u r such an amazing person. I would love to meet u one day. ❤️
May be pain during delivery and little uneasiness carrying child, but definitely forget that pain when you see your new born child and heart automatically get open with spiritual happiness 😊
El tema del embarazo y del parto era otro temazo para mi. Y un día sentí que tendría hijos cuando cambiara la forma de concebirlos y vinieran aun mundo más consciente y amoroso, no me gustaba este mundo para un hijo.
I don't think that I ever had a choice from the first moment I was brought into mortal existence.
I don't have any children from the institution of marriage yet all children are my children...hence my work and obligation is for every human being under my age are my children..I will follow the code of the Samurai.
I could be pregnant. And seeing the child the baby is the okay part. But the pregnancy And 9 months untill it's out. Scary growing a humaN in me. I'm afraid of the emotional rollercoaster I'm going through being pregnant and accidentally said if I regret it. But I do want to be a mother. I'll be more tired and rageful. Reading how others getting more irritated at stuff. 😢 And I lost. My parents too be there for me..
But I want to be a mother
I dont want to have children.
Why?
If you have to ask the question then that’s the answer…..
no!!!