The relationship will then never work. You are absolutely right. It takes 100% on each part to make it work. "Takes two to tango." Mine will pretend to want to communicate in order to manipulate and lie you back into the relationship. There are a lot of toxic people out there.
Men usually don't come back because they love you. They usually come back to see if they still can. And they want the ego boost from the attention you give them. I hate that! Men who love you won't lose you in the first place.
1. Don't react emotionally. 2. Make sure you got everything off your chest. 3. Ask yourself if it is fixable or worth it. 4. If you 2 had a connection. 5. Release 6. Don't let family and friends dictate for you. 7. Don't let fear guide you
Do this when he comes back……… DON'T TAKE HIM BACK!!!!! You will be so much happier without him; guys only come back because they know you’ll take him back 99.9% of the time. After all, you still have feelings for him. They play this game until they realize they can’t play it anymore. They just need someone to continue entertaining their clown behavior, and you’re not a circus soooo don’t do it! Just know if you’re always giving them room to come back, they’ll take every opportunity to use that because I mean, why not, right!??? Love is a hell of a drug. But nothing like self-love and self-worth. We’re all in this together; stay strong ladies; if you’re going through a break-up or hardship, just know there is always light at the end of the tunnel. God bless 🙏🏽🙏🏽☮️🕊🙌🏽
1. Don’t react emotionally. Think out your moves with a calm head before responding. Allow time to process. Don’t let emotions guide you. Use your intuition. 2. Make sure you’ve gotten everything off of your chest. Address the things that bothered you tactfully and gently. Speak your piece. Release the tension from your spirit. 3a. Is this fixable? 3b. Is this worth it? Love worth pursuing = genuine connection, humbleness and willingness to correct past errors on the part of the person who did wrong. 4. Release and release. If you determined that he’s not worth it or the situation is not fixable, express your feelings/thoughts (kindly) and release him. That is let him go. And then shut the door. 5. Be careful with letting friends and family dictate your decisions. Listen to Stephen on the explanation of this point (around 23 minute mark). 6. Do not let fear dictate you. Process things out and come to a clear decision about whether this person is absolutely wrong for you based on certainty, not confusion. 7. Don’t make the same mistakes twice. If you entertained this man due to loneliness last time, don’t do that this time. If you didn’t communicate your standards last time, don’t do that this time etc. The lessons learned here can be applied to future relationships, if it comes to that. 8. Pray and talk to God. Pray and talk to God. Pray and talk to God. Our own intelligence will take us so far. God sees all and wants our best. If you’re not getting your answers clearly, fast. Thanks for reading. Peace.
Goddess SisStar! 🌸🌬💋 👸Thank You so much for placing thoughtful efforts and listing his Focal Points. Organized & Detailed like Admin Quality, for Sure! I'm sure Most, if not All; of the Viewers Appreciate it! I think it'd be Awesome if You somehow got Compensated for Your Kind Intentions ~ Out of The Blue, One way or Another. DharmA Reward for being Your Essential Self, which We Rarely See. Much Love to Your Radiance and the Brilliant Love Coach #StephanSpeaks for Sharing this Wisdom Filled Video. @IAmILLUMINA_Goddess #SelfHealing #SelfCare #SelfWorth #SelfLove #RelationshipAdvice #LearnToEarnGenuineLove #DoNotGiveUpOnLOVE
@@GODDESSEdenILLUMINA Thank you, sweet one ♥️ your words were very kind. You know how to show appreciation :) I’m glad you found value in my post, that is exactly what I had hoped for.
6 years together i loved him deeply. Only to find out about a 3rd party. I walked away June 7th 1 year no contact. People really need to love themselves and understand yes it hurts to leave but the disrespect and pain of staying is wasting your life.
@@kirstenbee1829 Glad to know that you have healed. It's not an easy situation when you think of the time you invested that you cannot get back, but you have to focus on doing what is truly best. Thank you for sharing, I truly appreciate that!
Dont ignore the red flags because they are there right from the beginning. I ignored them, made excuses for his bad behavior, but he wasted 5 years of my life. Pay attention to his actions & let him go when u see the red flags. Save yourself the grief & heartache
So true but I'm still struggling to let go. I really did see the red flags from the get go. Now almost a year later iver come to truly realize it wont work out
@@henriettaboniface164 - The children come first and have nothing to do with whether or not he comes back, or whatever, period!! Both parents need to set their bs aside, quit making this about themselves and raise their children!!
Again, this video is not about talking about Lying Larry or Trifling Tony. He's referring to people who've experienced regular, healthy relationship issues that can be rectified. i.e., Fear of commitment, a misunderstanding, wrong timing, genuine healing, etc.
Right. People sometimes meet it doesn’t go OK and they separate. And within a separation, if true growth and maturity occurs, a reconciliation is completely possible.
This totally happened to me. We had a very mature discussion and agreed he is not emotionally ready and is too insecure to be able to commit to what I would desire I felt good about the discussion. We had a strong connection. We both admitted it. It just got to a point where it needed to move forward and he was petrified. It is OK. Everyone is capable of different levels of intimacy. I happen to want to go deeper in a connection. I am continuing to date. If we meet up again later... so be it. If not, not meant to be.
For those that KNOW he is a narcissist, psychologists say the best reply is ALWAYS silence if they try to come around...and if you HAVE to respond, respond with no emotion and make the convo short and to the point regardless of what they say... Don't argue with them, going down memory lane JUST to get a point across... Narcs don't care if the energy is positive or negative, they just want energy at any cost. Block them if you haven't already done so.
Most of these guys that play games and ghost you are players not narcissists . Narcissists don’t just play games and use you for sex , they are straight out emotionally or physically abusive . They are even worse than a player .
@@louisaklimentos7583 Respectfully, I disagree... There are several types of Narcissists, and some will use sex to love bomb and play games (like gaslighting) to get you to doubt yourself so that they can emotionally manipulate you /get the upper hand to use later... One person is Trump - a "Grandiose /Overt Narcissist"....lacks empathy, arrogant, extroverts, competitive, needs to be praised/admired, and exploitative.... The opposite would be the The Covert Narcissist - they will either make up a third party to get you jealous, or actually have other lovers for their energy supply but usually have a a MAIN supply... They use sex, gifts, etc as a plot to keep you emotionally attached...and will actually be good in bed, as part of their love bomb tactic to keep you in a soul tie emotionally if you aren't careful. They tend to have low self esteem, play the victim for empathy, tend to avoid, very defensive, and introverts. Those in my opinion are the most dangerous in a love relationship.
God took this horrible man away from me I was hurt cause at the time I didn’t understand so I brought that man back and it was total hell I’ve learned that when God takes someone out of your life let them go and stay out cause if u don’t u will regret it I learned a valuable lesson thank u 🙏🏿 Lord
9 years together and about to be baby number 4 together and he left me while I was pregnant. I think after years of making excuses for him I’m done. It’s been a ugly healing process for me while he is out doing whatever he wants and I have our kids at home. It’s time to heal.
Stop making babies my friend. They need to grow up while you do. Just grow up and be responsable for yourself and the children you've had. Get the courts to obtain the alimony. Trust yourself. And... Learn to pray and to move on spiritually. This growth is necessary. Trust yourself sister. You've got this. Start growing. Evoke your angels. Only then can they come forward.
God gave us free will, the ability to choose another "imperfect" person who also, has free will. Meaning, at any point, they can choose good or bad. Nothing and no one is forever promising and God doesn't choose our mates. He ALLOWS life to take it's course in an imperfect world until Christ returns to undo the ravages of sin.
Ain't No coming back your a ex for a reason! They only come back because it didn't work out with whoever the other person was, Think with your head and not your emotions!
Some men act like babies, claiming they want a relationship when they don't... Coming in and out like the wind!!! How can a person be sure the same thing won't happen again?? Even when you do express yourself fully...
My ex and I reconnected. We talked about what went wrong and what we both need to work on. ( Yes he didn't realize what he was missing). We are both putting 100% effort in the relationship and moving forward we are very happy and content with how things are for us. Of course I've paid attention to the tips and advice from Stephen. Thank you Steven!!!
I can't see myself ever getting back with him, the mere idea freaks me out and I I'm almost disgusted at the thought, I'm praying I won't ever have to bump into him because I'll probably change my direction. I don't hate him, I just can't imagine that kind of energy in my space ever again.
One thing about me: If I left you for myself, I'm NEVER coming back! 👸🏽✌🏽 I've had so many exes try coming back and it would never happen. Goodbye and God bless you on your future endeavors. 👋🏼
I know what you mean. Every relationship I have left I exhausted every possible source of help, thought long and hard before I called it. So when I'm done, it's for keeps. I don't do half-measures in anything. One word sums up the difference between us and them: Integrity.
Say it a little louder for the ppl in the back,and for those who didn’t get the memo.🎯If I left the relationship it isn’t likely I’m going to reconnect with that person.I’m a very forgiving person,but I don’t forget easily.If your words don’t match your actions I’m out.🏃♀️
Yo Stephan this advice is gold. I had someone from the past returning after 2 years and there definitely was unhealthy emotional reactions from his end. I spoke my truth and closed the door for good, no regrets. I saw some major red flags and realised that they’re no longer red flags but deal breakers. You cannot fix a narcissist and people who are emotionally/mentally unstable.
You’re right if you believe in God he can and I know cus my baby father was on drugs for over 10 years nobody n nothing could make him stop 🛑 but when I prayed to God for a change in my baby father life God did it after two years he got delivered in one month and hasn’t touched those drugs since
I believe in the saying" when they walk out of your life, let them".. I learned to take the emotion out. I am a single woman in my mid 40s communication, respect, and spending time together is important to me. If l meet a man who ghost me l consider that closer and move on. It's not worth entertaining them by getting things off my chest if they return . I am choosing to evolve and think on a higher level because I know my worth and certain behaviors from human beings l am choosing not to entertain. I do understand the message in this content however grown adults who use ghosting as a form of communication are not people l need or want in my life.
Don't take him back. If a man/woman leaves you in the 1st place they never loved you... If a person really loves you they will stick around regardless 💯! Thru the good or bad, happy times or sad.
This is true, with very few exceptions. If your case is the exception, he needs to re-impress you the same way he did the first time! No special privileges just because you 2 have history. He is placed in the back of the line, the onus is on him to prove himself to you.
People lease remember that "you, put the price tag on yourselves not other people ". Stay on the shelf and not in the bargain basement box when it comes to relationships.
I can only speak for ME: It’s fixable AND worth it. Sometimes you both make mistakes, then there’s a death and rebirth to a relationship (especially if he/she is your twin flame 🔥). You simply need to have honest and open conversations, forgive each other and you come back even better than before ❤
@@str8jenn.nochaser 😢😢😢 unfortunately true…. And it’s crazy when ppl mix love, manipulation, hurt, pleasure…….. nowadays it’s pretty hard to tell right from the beginning……. How you can just finally srt your boundaries and show him that is over, there is no way back? Thanks
Thank you this video came at the perfect time. sometimes you just need to hear stuff over and over in a positive way. My ex had came back to me wanting to be friends and be in my life whin my life which includes texting me every day good morning. When we went to dinner and having conversation he continued to keep checking out women at the next table over so bad that I had to turn around and keep looking to see what he was looking at and it still never even phased him even though we are not together I felt very disrespected as this was something he used to do when we were together. Thank you for this video it was just a positive reminder to know to value myself and just keep moving on and friendship will not be in our cards so thank you.
If he does it to you over and over again clearly means he doesn't respect you.This happened to me with this last guy i was seeing. Ladies be stronger and don't let a man string you along and treat you like an option, a convenience.
This one just made me cry. I’ve been so scared of this connection because I’ve never felt it so deeply. He brings me so much peace and he’s so patient but I have only been exposed to bad relationships my whole life and I run away when it gets hard. I don’t want to ruin this but it seems like I am because of all the noise from the enemy. I’ve been in counseling and it’s helping but he’s here now. I hope that I’m right and God will bring him back again when I’m ready.
Stand strong in your convictions. God is not the author of confusion but the way of peace! Continue to grow and get stronger. He may or may not be the one for you - but regardless, if you are not ready in your heart and mind both being in agreement, then don't do it. Don't worry about anything else. God knows the beginning and the end. He is never in a rush. He is all about YOU! ❤❤❤❤✝️🙏🏽🥰💯🎯 No one can take what is meant for YOU! No worries about that.
I know ur mainly talking to the ladies, but sometimes it's the men who have to heal and return, not the woman needing to heal and accept him. Men less accomplished shrink before an independent women, creates insecurities, or, just her being herself amplifies his insecurities and may cause him to leave... What about those instances
Thank you for this. I have been independent since I moved out my moms house. I do think my independence amplifies any Man I have dated, insecurities. I’m patient and kind, I am also very supportive. I’m on the “top level” of course I want my mans up there with me so I always encourage my man to do better.. to reach his highest potential and then I get left. It gets annoying but I guess men who aren’t used to being talked kindly to with love or arent used to a woman with patience as well as that level of independence.. they run? Maybe it makes them feel unworthy to have such a great partner? Idk
Good morning Ms. Passley! If that is the case then work on self love and no other human being for higher and independent that they might be will make you feel less then. Work on any childhood traumas that you may have for most of the time we have traumas that we think we have overcome, when in fact our subconscious mind keep those traumatic events there just for it to resurface later in life. You can do some childhood trauma meditation and also self love meditation. That way you can reprogram your subconscient and it will help you to get your power back no only as a man but as a human being. I hope this helps you. Love and light🥰
This is so true… dealing with this now… he’s a good guy… he’s been abused in past relationships… I’m very independent and straight forward and it scares him… it’s obvious to everyone that he is deeply in love with me… he’s scared
I am listening to the part about healing and I just started crying. How are you supposed to find the joy and excitement and freshness about approaching love with new eyes after dealing with deep pain & betrayal? And then the weight and guilt of blaming yourself for staying so long in a ridiculous dynamic. I just wish I could go back and time and erase ever meeting him. It wasn’t worth my heartbreak at all.
When you love yourself so much you don't take most things personal. I have learned to unconditionally love myself and in my reflection I have learned to love others unconditionally and accept people as they are. If a man is reflecting my insecurities I work on myself and realize that rejection has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. I do agree that it's important to talk and discuss intentions and wholeheartedly respect each other whatever that path may be.
I have recently learned that the less people you tell about your situation the better because ppl will try to advise you on what they would do in that situation not what you should/could do and society has it painted to never go back to someone but everyone's experience is different and no one will truly understand it like the two people in the relationship. I have been questioning a lot in regards to this topic. But you breaking it down and explaining it thoroughly gave me some clarity. So thank you!
Damn!!! That’s one of the most profound things I’ve heard in so long. The more he cares about you the less likely he is to recover from your rejection enough to keep trying. You’re right! The players make more attempts to my rejection!
How about processing the entire time you're apart? Flushing everything out during the time of separation and getting everything out via journal, email, written letter,etc. During this time you can determine if it's worth it. As a result, if they come back you're CLEAR on what YOU want and either it is or isn't them.
The worst thing I regret but I learned a lot! He came back and literally treated me even worse I acted off my emotions by letting him in I knew better but I leaned I’m better wiser and becoming stronger than ever❤️🙏🏽
In the beginning if its too fast and already having problems and you have doubts, red flags, patterns of disguise...walk away. Confusion, chaos manipulation not good! Behavioral change isn't a deep rooted heart change. Know the difference! They'll change temporarily. Check to see how he treats his loved ones. The closest ones behind closed doors know him best!!!
After breakup you should crying out of your shoulder! Just let it all out. Don’t try to move on to fast or trying to pretend like that you are ok but deep down you know you are so hurt .-. How long does it take to get it all out? I truly don’t know, maybe 6 months, 1 year or 2…just really cry until you can’t cry no more. When it stops that the signs you’re done with it
Nah, your heart still can get broken. Been there done that. A man will be a man do what he wants at the end of the day. Theres no instructions or step by step guide for the perfect relationship no matter if you take thing slow and be patienced.
@@thatlovegirl12 I agree totally. I just got out of this very scenario you described. We're both good Christian people. I thought we were on the same page, especially being long-term friends, who had a loving relationship, separated by distance. He even said "God told him you let her get away once, don't let it happen again"! He proposed with a ring on Valentines Day, and then got cold feet, 3months after we set a wedding date. (6- 21-21.) 🙄🤦🏽♀️. He says he's not ready!!? I thank God I'm mentally strong and stable. I'm disappointed but that's called life! Just had to share.😊
Don't react emotionally - Don't allow even family members to influence you Get everything off your chest - Be open minded and discuss things to eliminate confusion and fear Evaluate the worthiness of the relationship - Is it fixable? Is there a real connection? - Connection can never be destroyed Be willing to heal - not let fear block you into letting him in your life Don't let loneliness and boredom get the best of you Release and release - even if you are not taking them back Seek guidance ffom counselor or therapist Check if it is the right time for their come back Let him go and shut all the doors if convinced that he ain't the one - Don't allow the same mistake twice Pray and talk to God to seek direction and clarity
1) don’t be emotionally and step back emotionally and Evaluate 2).speak your truth 3).ask your self is this worth it to fix it 4).Release fear and try 5).don’t allow people to choose for you 6).if u do give him a try give him a real try
Good Advice , Stephan !! I know now to pay attention to a man's language , when he comes back. If he begins the conversation talking about my emotions and saying things like : I understand why you're mad/bitter/broken etc etc. Red Flag - that man is trying to get you in your "feelings" ; thinking with your emotions and not using logic - intuition . That man reminds me of the serpent that talked to Eve ... The Word never said how many times he talked to her before she was deceived. Thank you , Stephan !!
Excellent, insightful video. First,only take him back if the situation was Not toxic and detrimental to your health and safety. Agree with your key points, if the love is worth pursuing, and there is genuine love and connection, that is worth saving. Majority of relationships are sabotaged by fear to be open and vulnerable. Poor communication creates confusion and chaos. Fear cannot guide you only truth. Release your feelings, forgive, and most importantly don't take for granted a love that has the potential to change your life. Pray always and let God guide you both. Thank you for the video. "A sliver of light" was the word you were thinking of regarding the door being dimmed. Be Blessed.
After 28 years! Lives lead, living thousands of miles away at the moment, wants to reconnect once my move is complete next year back to California. Seeing one another to talk about the past has to be done in person, face to face. We were best friends then, and feel a closeness now. Taking our time now that we're in our late 50s has to be. We have much to talk about. We've left such an impression on one another to where we've always looked one another up but never pursued one another till now. I missed our friendship, but know we have to talk it out, and see what develops from there. He's ex-military and has gone through so much that he's finally in a place of self care which is wonderful. I'm appreciating the time and distance right now. I need to breath through it. Praying for guidance and healing. He took such great care of me then, timing is everything, and maybe this is it. I'm still breathing... Thanks I'm happy I ran across this video.
My husband did me wrong 3years ago and I still can’t trust him! He came back because he know I let him! Listening your video really open my eye!! I still don’t have good feeling for him. I still feel he will do me wrong again. Thank you so much your wonderful video!! It’s thought me a lot❤️
Yessss!! I always felt that lack of communication sabotages so many connections intimate, friends, family, professional. Clarity on situations in life is so powerful it helps to bond the connection it prevents assumptions, it builds trust it helps with expansion and if patience is needed because some people are a very slow burn and that’s ok but we must communicate THANKYOU for this 🙏💁🏼♀️😁
Yup you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned about being hurt and disappointed again. I'm just trying to save my heart from all that. It's pretty much all I have that's left of me.
I totally agree. We shouldn’t let the wrong people back into our lives for the wrong reasons. Use your intuition to discern whether this is a genuine connection or not and whether it’s something that can be worked through.
Never let people dictate who you love. Sometimes, people we’re going through lots of stuff & weren’t emotionally intelligent at the time when they we’re with you but, time heals & gives you both growth & you reconnected & are having a deeper relationship years later.He got scared before, I didn’t.Now, we’re both working on our communication, friendship, connection & having it all work out now!
Stephan can I tell you I absolutely LOVE YOU!!! Not in a romantic way......I love you with the love of God...You have such a sincere, genuine spirit about you that does not come off as haughty, arrogant, self serving or deceptive in any way. You seem to just be a great and humble man! I appreciate you and thank you!
Guess what! I don’t want him back. I was so torn when he hurt me. I questioned my self worth. I collected myself again and here I am. At first I really wanted him back, I thought I wouldn’t make it. The detachment was unbelievable and the feeling was so bad. Sooner did I know that the pain I was feeling was actually, me letting him go. Girl… he doesn’t deserve you if he made you compete with another woman. Run. He’s not worth it.
Facing the truth can be a different thing, accepting, believing, understanding and listening to who (he) is through his actions and words can be scary because it may not add up to the person you taught you fell for. Add betrayal to that and now you are questioning everything you’ve experience in that relationship. Reflection and ownership of your part is the first step, then acceptance, then healing so you don’t repeat the cycle. Here’s to closing the door and embrace the new chapter (healing me). Thanks for your video, very informative as always 😊
"The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman love with no intention of loving her." ( Bob Marley) Never allow a man to live rent-free inside your head. He will bring you nothing but confusion and chaos. They're little grown boys trapped inside of a man's body. Protect your heart, soul, and mind. You will feel so much better. And you will have a better, healthy life.😊
As far as I am concerned, if either of us left the relationship, there was a good reason for it. Sometimes its better to leave well enough alone. I don't take exes back nor have I ever begged anybody to take me back. And yes, I am in a happy loving relationship, so I think my approach is not wrong.
It takes a lot of self control, not to react with an explosion of emotions, when he comes back (in my case after a year).Woman should be prepared for it in advance by imaging this situation in her mind...and by getting information about these cases from someone, who is experienced and objective enough...thank you
This is spot on and on point! Although it's a rare, I do believe in the right person, wrong time. An exception would be if the person was immature and never cheated and never was disrespectful. They needed to grow as a person and gain more life experiences.
Stephan...you are gifted. what you are doing has been ordained by God. only a few people have this kind of understanding and revelation on issues of the heart. You put a lot of things in perspective hence enabling a lot of us to make decisions that allow us to live fulfilled lives.
The right person wrong time is something I went through! I'm so happy to hear you say that. When we broke up before we weren't meant for each other. Now we are back & I'm glad we are. Yes I was hurt bad when I had no communication with him, and when he contacted me again after a couple yrs, I felt the hurt & felt the love for him. Now we are trying to be better for each other & working on ourselves at the same time.
I’ve been in a off and on relationship for over 10 years … two kids later .. and we still can’t get it right… I freakin over it ..I’ve been broken and I feel like I’m a completely different person … I’ve absolutely have gone cold .. don’t ever wanna deal with another again
Hey.. I'm right here with you. 17 yrs one 15 yr old son. Our situation is so complicated.. I feel like we are suppose to grow old together, but right now we can't get along. I'm very hurt & sad. I'll be happy when I have no feelings at all.. at least I won't cry. I never thought we'd be in this position again.
@@sansuggs yeah I’m completely tapped out .. and the crazy thing is that we just had our first daughter 7 months ago .. his first daughter and my first daughter.. emotionally , I’ve literally gone cold ..
@@ninalove3942 I understand.. ppl say move on, but having a child by that person makes it that much harder. We've been through this before.. I want to fix it & he wants separation. I'm going to leave it with God because if I don't I'll do things I'll regret. I just want to not care.
Kids don’t make it harder! I have a son with my ex, we broke up when our son was 18 months I would never get back with him never!!! I have too much self love and respect for my self 💕 love, I’m 33 he is 44 years old! I met him when I was 23 years old. Just pray 🙏🏽 about it and I put him on court order child support
I’ve only known of one relationship where a married couple had a daughter after many struggles they decided to divorce and go their separate ways…30 years later they were reunited because of their daughter and when the man saw his ex wife again he said it was as if they’d never stop loving each other…one year later remarried and started serving at the church I was attending to at the time! Beautiful story and probably one in a million!
Oh My Praise.. NO! I HAD TO LEAVE & NO MATTER HOW LONESOME I MAY GET AT TIMES, I'M COMPLETELY DONE.... CO-PARENTING IS GOING JUST GREAT!!! That was 18years of my life, that door🚪 is CLOSED 🔐.. I'm 39 knocking on 40's door🚪 waiting patiently, Obediently, and working on self-love 🙏🏽❤️& HEALING + Prof... I/We sincerely appreciate you Stephan 🙏🏽
Time heals......he tried to come back, the first thing that came to mind for me, was all the things I did NOT miss when he was gone.....so for that reason......I'm good, no thank, stay gone!!!
I have a fearful avoidant attachment way to love. I was always a late bloomer and She was my first girlfriend from 23-27. I took her for granted, and became wrapped up in myself - I let my ego control me. This breakup was the experience I needed to shake me to my core and re establish my relationship with faith- something I lost for many years. Doesn’t matter what she did to contribute or has to work on, I am focusing on my own accountability to be the best person I can and hopefully carry that into the future of love. I have this deep feeling it should be her, though at this point I know it’s not my place. It’s in the lords hands.
Stephan, I love this video - one can only hope the right guy at the wrong time can grow, heal and become a mature best version of himself. Perhaps he will realise you were a real one and he was mistaken in past. But if you have been treated like a game in past, healing yourself and flushing the water is so important before moving into a healthy version of the relationship with the best version of him. Part of learning from past is growing and becoming the best version of yourself too :)
This is why journaling is so important. It helped me vent so I wouldn’t haul off on my boyfriend. When my current boyfriend was assaulted by a stranger, what happened was to be expected; he withdrew and I didn’t see him for six weeks as he was healing from the attack. We are long distance I’ll be at only 350 miles away from each other. But, he didn’t answer his texts, Calls or anything. I did not know how he was doing. I even sent him letters. They all went unanswered. I began to get therapy again because of all of this. I was hurt and angry at the attacker more than I was at my boyfriend. Because this was not my boyfriends fault. My boyfriend went into a dark night of soul, if you will. And he wasn’t getting mental help at the time. He is now however. I contemplated ending the relationship. Because he had changed so much after the assault. But my other half was saying to be supportive and patient. Mind you he wasn’t trying to decide between me or another woman. This was a completely different issue. This was some thing that blindsided the both of us. I drove down to California to see him from my home here in Nevada. He was thrilled to see me. But there was still some thing missing. I took a long hard look at the relationship to see if I was still valid or needed in his life. Throughout all that time he hardly texted me. And I tried to match his level of investment by not texting him that much. I would just ask how he was doing and he wouldn’t answer back. And if he did it was a short text. Or one really long one, to not hear from him again for a very long time. Fast forward six months after the assault, he is now on medication and he did a complete 180 after his recovery. Also that was after I told him that I was breaking up with him. Through all that time I didn’t even tell him that I would do that. But there was a breaking point. I know my worth. We are now doing well. And I’m happy. My moral is to be patient. Know your worth. Be there for your family first, and yourself, go to work and be present at your job, take care of yourself and your body and get your sleep, then worry about the person that is the one you hoped would be your lifelong partner. In other words, God first, family second, and your job third. We are still together BTW. But, on a higher level. We are talking about our future together. Please journal and vent on paper. Don’t haul off on him. You’ll drive him away.
💯 Get your copy of "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 it is absolutely worth it!
What if he doesn’t want to communicate? I think the relationship can not work if they don’t want to communicate. Am I right or wrong.
The relationship will then never work. You are absolutely right. It takes 100% on each part to make it work. "Takes two to tango."
Mine will pretend to want to communicate in order to manipulate and lie you back into the relationship. There are a lot of toxic people out there.
I hate liars
@@everyonehasanopinion9883 That's a basic. 😒
This man is 51yo as well-. I didn't plan to fall in love with a Jamaican man, Most of my life I've had this negative stigma about them.
As my therapist said to me: "The person who hurt you can't be the same person to heal you".
Good one.
@@tonettanhelms794 Sure is.
Truth
I agree
Needed this reminder…..thanks …
Men usually don't come back because they love you. They usually come back to see if they still can. And they want the ego boost from the attention you give them. I hate that! Men who love you won't lose you in the first place.
THIS THIS THIS THIS
…and THIS!
False, and very one sided!
@@jamesjoseph8698 no, it's actually usually the case. Men who love you won't do anything to jeopardize the relationship.
You assume loving you is all it takes to not jeopardize a relationship... as if it just depends on the men behavior. What about your own F'ups ?
“The man who loves you will bring you clarity and peace. The ones who don’t will bring you confusion and chaos.” 11:30
Whew chile…now this is it!!
Amen
❤❤
Amen
Nice quote. It’s so true. Recognizing this will help with healing process
NEVER GO BACK TO A MAN THAT BROKE YOU.....!!!!! 💔
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
ABSOLUTELY NEVER NEVER
Period
Pride cometh before the fall
@@mmxw2294 Pride goeth before a fall...its true ...be blessed 🙏
Sometimes, the best thing we can do in life is let go.
Most definitely!
So true
I know a man who can help you get your ex back within 3hours
Writer him now for help
+2348127749028
1. Don't react emotionally.
2. Make sure you got everything off your chest.
3. Ask yourself if it is fixable or worth it.
4. If you 2 had a connection.
5. Release
6. Don't let family and friends dictate for you.
7. Don't let fear guide you
prefectly said
Thank you for the list!
#2!!!
Thanks
Hope he will come back to me
Do this when he comes back……… DON'T TAKE HIM BACK!!!!! You will be so much happier without him; guys only come back because they know you’ll take him back 99.9% of the time. After all, you still have feelings for him. They play this game until they realize they can’t play it anymore. They just need someone to continue entertaining their clown behavior, and you’re not a circus soooo don’t do it! Just know if you’re always giving them room to come back, they’ll take every opportunity to use that because I mean, why not, right!??? Love is a hell of a drug. But nothing like self-love and self-worth. We’re all in this together; stay strong ladies; if you’re going through a break-up or hardship, just know there is always light at the end of the tunnel. God bless 🙏🏽🙏🏽☮️🕊🙌🏽
Amy Beautiful and smart wow thank you
We know this and still make the mistake 😔😔😔
@@mslovie2209 you got it girl
Thank u so much. I'm going through it
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response and may God bless you as well 🙏
Never go back to a man that ignore you when you needed him most, thanks for this,I needed to here this
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Right
It hurts right?❤️
Me too 😊
Its facts we live and learn.
1. Don’t react emotionally.
Think out your moves with a calm head before responding. Allow time to process. Don’t let emotions guide you. Use your intuition.
2. Make sure you’ve gotten everything off of your chest.
Address the things that bothered you tactfully and gently. Speak your piece. Release the tension from your spirit.
3a. Is this fixable?
3b. Is this worth it?
Love worth pursuing = genuine connection, humbleness and willingness to correct past errors on the part of the person who did wrong.
4. Release and release.
If you determined that he’s not worth it or the situation is not fixable, express your feelings/thoughts (kindly) and release him. That is let him go. And then shut the door.
5. Be careful with letting friends and family dictate your decisions.
Listen to Stephen on the explanation of this point (around 23 minute mark).
6. Do not let fear dictate you.
Process things out and come to a clear decision about whether this person is absolutely wrong for you based on certainty, not confusion.
7. Don’t make the same mistakes twice.
If you entertained this man due to loneliness last time, don’t do that this time. If you didn’t communicate your standards last time, don’t do that this time etc. The lessons learned here can be applied to future relationships, if it comes to that.
8. Pray and talk to God.
Pray and talk to God.
Pray and talk to God.
Our own intelligence will take us so far. God sees all and wants our best. If you’re not getting your answers clearly, fast.
Thanks for reading. Peace.
Goddess SisStar! 🌸🌬💋 👸Thank You so much for placing thoughtful efforts and listing his Focal Points. Organized & Detailed like Admin Quality, for Sure!
I'm sure Most, if not All; of the Viewers Appreciate it! I think it'd be Awesome if You somehow got Compensated for Your Kind Intentions ~ Out of The Blue, One way or Another. DharmA Reward for being Your Essential Self, which We Rarely See. Much Love to Your Radiance and the Brilliant Love Coach #StephanSpeaks for Sharing this Wisdom Filled Video.
@IAmILLUMINA_Goddess
#SelfHealing #SelfCare #SelfWorth #SelfLove #RelationshipAdvice #LearnToEarnGenuineLove #DoNotGiveUpOnLOVE
Thanks for breaking this down I was trying to figure out what was the 7
I’m pregnant so I cannot fast 😞😞😞
@@GODDESSEdenILLUMINA Thank you, sweet one ♥️ your words were very kind. You know how to show appreciation :) I’m glad you found value in my post, that is exactly what I had hoped for.
Thanks so much for this breakdown
The one who loves you wants communication and peace
You're absolutely right!
"Clarity" and peace - which comes by communicating. 😁
Amen 🙌🏼
Amen ! Absolutely.
This is so raw and simple.. but i never thought about it. Genius, Stephan
If we ask, God will ALWAYS reveal to us who a person is. We get into trouble because we keep the Holy Spirit out of your lives and decisions.
Amen.
Absolutely
Yesss!!
Nailed it
This!
Sometimes the person you had the most connection with is the most toxic!
💯
Yup. This was me and my ex.
I'm in an exact situation
Yes unfortunately
Ofxourse the connection that is toxic is deeper .
6 years together i loved him deeply. Only to find out about a 3rd party. I walked away June 7th 1 year no contact. People really need to love themselves and understand yes it hurts to leave but the disrespect and pain of staying is wasting your life.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I'm doing good overall, I've done alot of healing. I'm just mad about time invested that I can't get back. Thank you
Sometimes you got to do what you got yo do. Even if it hurts you.
Mine 7 1/2 years together with a child and I did the same... it hurts but you are getting Stronger at the end...
@@kirstenbee1829 Glad to know that you have healed. It's not an easy situation when you think of the time you invested that you cannot get back, but you have to focus on doing what is truly best. Thank you for sharing, I truly appreciate that!
"The man who LOVES you will want to bring you...
CLARITY & PEACE."
Not chaos and confusion 👍🏼
Ty...I needed to see this
Exactly not confusing or uncertainty
yes
Thank you ❤️🙏
He came back but I don’t want him the same way I did at the beginning.. I want to meet someone else and start a new journey with a different man..
Dont ignore the red flags because they are there right from the beginning. I ignored them, made excuses for his bad behavior, but he wasted 5 years of my life. Pay attention to his actions & let him go when u see the red flags. Save yourself the grief & heartache
What if you have kids ?
So true but I'm still struggling to let go. I really did see the red flags from the get go. Now almost a year later iver come to truly realize it wont work out
What were some of the red flags? I honestly feel like I never see them
@@henriettaboniface164 - The children come first and have nothing to do with whether or not he comes back, or whatever, period!! Both parents need to set their bs aside, quit making this about themselves and raise their children!!
@@seanalee1439 👏👏👏👏
Yes talking to God is an absolutely MUST if you want to end up with your correct match💞
You're absolutely right!
💞
So true!!! 💯
💕🙏
Amen 🙏🏾
1. Don’t react emotionally
2. Let those things off my chest
3. Ask yourself if it’s worth it or fixable
Thank you saving my time ❤xx
If you even have to ask urself if it’s fixable don’t go back girly 😭 it was that bad u gotta ask urself that. I’m just saying
Again, this video is not about talking about Lying Larry or Trifling Tony. He's referring to people who've experienced regular, healthy relationship issues that can be rectified. i.e., Fear of commitment, a misunderstanding, wrong timing, genuine healing, etc.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Right. People sometimes meet it doesn’t go OK and they separate. And within a separation, if true growth and maturity occurs, a reconciliation is completely possible.
Exactly!
I think going through this right now
prayer is the key for everything...i always pray and ask God for guidance.
You're absolutely right prayer is definitely key!
True !
Amen!!!! Much prayer, leads to much power, even with the man/woman that God has for you.♥️♥️
This totally happened to me. We had a very mature discussion and agreed he is not emotionally ready and is too insecure to be able to commit to what I would desire I felt good about the discussion. We had a strong connection. We both admitted it. It just got to a point where it needed to move forward and he was petrified. It is OK. Everyone is capable of different levels of intimacy. I happen to want to go deeper in a connection. I am continuing to date. If we meet up again later... so be it. If not, not meant to be.
I got help from him(Dr Williams),He helped me bring back my ex few days ago after 6years of separation🔮
I literally just had the same conversation. Definitely praying now if this is worth staying as he finds himself 🤷🏽♀️
Well said this is me too
@@williambradleypitt2925 ok
Exact same for me.
For those that KNOW he is a narcissist, psychologists say the best reply is ALWAYS silence if they try to come around...and if you HAVE to respond, respond with no emotion and make the convo short and to the point regardless of what they say... Don't argue with them, going down memory lane JUST to get a point across... Narcs don't care if the energy is positive or negative, they just want energy at any cost. Block them if you haven't already done so.
💯💯
You are so right!!! Omg!!🙌🏾💯
I haven’t spoken to my ex in over 3 years because he is a Narcissist.
I am living my Best Life Now…. Thank you JESUS
Most of these guys that play games and ghost you are players not narcissists . Narcissists don’t just play games and use you for sex , they are straight out emotionally or physically abusive . They are even worse than a player .
@@louisaklimentos7583 Respectfully, I disagree... There are several types of Narcissists, and some will use sex to love bomb and play games (like gaslighting) to get you to doubt yourself so that they can emotionally manipulate you /get the upper hand to use later... One person is Trump - a "Grandiose /Overt Narcissist"....lacks empathy, arrogant, extroverts, competitive, needs to be praised/admired, and exploitative.... The opposite would be the The Covert Narcissist - they will either make up a third party to get you jealous, or actually have other lovers for their energy supply but usually have a a MAIN supply... They use sex, gifts, etc as a plot to keep you emotionally attached...and will actually be good in bed, as part of their love bomb tactic to keep you in a soul tie emotionally if you aren't careful. They tend to have low self esteem, play the victim for empathy, tend to avoid, very defensive, and introverts. Those in my opinion are the most dangerous in a love relationship.
God took this horrible man away from me I was hurt cause at the time I didn’t understand so I brought that man back and it was total hell I’ve learned that when God takes someone out of your life let them go and stay out cause if u don’t u will regret it I learned a valuable lesson thank u 🙏🏿 Lord
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Thank you for reminding me it was all God!❤️💐🙏
🙏 Their withdrawal, in the first place, is often a blessing in disguise.
This is so true
ABSOLUTELY TRUE
“Connection cannot be destroyed, but a lot of trash can be thrown over top of it.” I love that ❤️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Not everyone who leaves comes back. And not everyone who is left behind will catch up. Everything has a limit. 💪
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
This 🤌
A relationship ends because you’ve outgrown it. It can begin again because you, as two, can fill the new shape.
Love is a space shared. Needed this reminder, thank you.
@@keelove9223 mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Now I disagree
This is so true
9 years together and about to be baby number 4 together and he left me while I was pregnant. I think after years of making excuses for him I’m done. It’s been a ugly healing process for me while he is out doing whatever he wants and I have our kids at home. It’s time to heal.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
How are you now? 😢❤
DONE
Stop making babies my friend. They need to grow up while you do. Just grow up and be responsable for yourself and the children you've had. Get the courts to obtain the alimony. Trust yourself. And... Learn to pray and to move on spiritually. This growth is necessary. Trust yourself sister. You've got this. Start growing. Evoke your angels. Only then can they come forward.
~God will never leave you nor forsake you; His LOVE is Everlasting. Therefore, whom He places in your life will be SUSTAINING~
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
Amen!
God gave us free will, the ability to choose another "imperfect" person who also, has free will. Meaning, at any point, they can choose good or bad. Nothing and no one is forever promising and God doesn't choose our mates. He ALLOWS life to take it's course in an imperfect world until Christ returns to undo the ravages of sin.
Ain't No coming back your a ex for a reason! They only come back because it didn't work out with whoever the other person was, Think with your head and not your emotions!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Right....I can't drive backwards 😁
True that 💯 👌
Not always...
Depends. Most of the time, they are your ex for a reason. But like Steph said...sometimes its right guy wrong time. So I get it
Ghosting is disrespectful and hurtful. Respect is a must. Not negotiable.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Some men act like babies, claiming they want a relationship when they don't... Coming in and out like the wind!!!
How can a person be sure the same thing won't happen again?? Even when you do express yourself fully...
So true. Very well said.
Absolute truth!
Don’t let loneliness get the best of you coz what you are attracted to when you are broken might irritate you when you heal
Wisdom ✨
My ex and I reconnected. We talked about what went wrong and what we both need to work on. ( Yes he didn't realize what he was missing). We are both putting 100% effort in the relationship and moving forward we are very happy and content with how things are for us. Of course I've paid attention to the tips and advice from Stephen. Thank you Steven!!!
@John Joy what?
I hope this happen to us too.. I really want him back 😔🙏
🙏🏽✨️
I can't see myself ever getting back with him, the mere idea freaks me out and I I'm almost disgusted at the thought, I'm praying I won't ever have to bump into him because I'll probably change my direction. I don't hate him, I just can't imagine that kind of energy in my space ever again.
One year later, are y’all still together?
One thing about me: If I left you for myself, I'm NEVER coming back! 👸🏽✌🏽 I've had so many exes try coming back and it would never happen. Goodbye and God bless you on your future endeavors. 👋🏼
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Brilliant comment. Stay strong 🌹
I know what you mean. Every relationship I have left I exhausted every possible source of help, thought long and hard before I called it. So when I'm done, it's for keeps. I don't do half-measures in anything. One word sums up the difference between us and them: Integrity.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Love your page and all your advice. 🤴🏽❤🙏🏽
Say it a little louder for the ppl in the back,and for those who didn’t get the memo.🎯If I left the relationship it isn’t likely I’m going to reconnect with that person.I’m a very forgiving person,but I don’t forget easily.If your words don’t match your actions I’m out.🏃♀️
Yo Stephan this advice is gold. I had someone from the past returning after 2 years and there definitely was unhealthy emotional reactions from his end. I spoke my truth and closed the door for good, no regrets. I saw some major red flags and realised that they’re no longer red flags but deal breakers. You cannot fix a narcissist and people who are emotionally/mentally unstable.
So true narcissistic spirits are real and it really is hard to trust them
They bring confusion ,chaos and stress
You’re right if you believe in God he can and I know cus my baby father was on drugs for over 10 years nobody n nothing could make him stop 🛑 but when I prayed to God for a change in my baby father life God did it after two years he got delivered in one month and hasn’t touched those drugs since
Yes and Amen👏🏾
@@preciouswatson4142 indeed 😆
YOU BETTER SPEAK IT BABY.🥳😘👊
A man who rained chaos, pain and utter fragmentation into a woman's life should not be allowed back. Forgive him, yes. Throw a welcome party, no
Exactly
I believe in the saying" when they walk out of your life, let them".. I learned to take the emotion out. I am a single woman in my mid 40s communication, respect, and spending time together is important to me. If l meet a man who ghost me l consider that closer and move on. It's not worth entertaining them by getting things off my chest if they return . I am choosing to evolve and think on a higher level because I know my worth and certain behaviors from human beings l am choosing not to entertain. I do understand the message in this content however grown adults who use ghosting as a form of communication are not people l need or want in my life.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you are welcome. I enjoy listening to your content. I have read most of your books.
Yes! I was ghosted by a 47 year old man. I didn’t even think it was a thing in that age group! 🤦🏽♀️
@@kita-1116 try 55 years old smh.
@@kita-1116 How about a brother in his 60's...Still ghosting,SMH
Always fall for his actions not empty words. ✌️
Don't take him back. If a man/woman leaves you in the 1st place they never loved you... If a person really loves you they will stick around regardless 💯! Thru the good or bad, happy times or sad.
This is true, with very few exceptions. If your case is the exception, he needs to re-impress you the same way he did the first time! No special privileges just because you 2 have history. He is placed in the back of the line, the onus is on him to prove himself to you.
People lease remember that "you, put the price tag on yourselves not other people ". Stay on the shelf and not in the bargain basement box when it comes to relationships.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Connection cannot be destroyed but a lot of trash can be thrown in 🤔
Absolutely!
I can only speak for ME: It’s fixable AND worth it. Sometimes you both make mistakes, then there’s a death and rebirth to a relationship (especially if he/she is your twin flame 🔥). You simply need to have honest and open conversations, forgive each other and you come back even better than before ❤
I love this 💕
That's true too
A twin flame doesn't mean you're meant to be together either. People confuse this.
@@str8jenn.nochaser 😢😢😢 unfortunately true…. And it’s crazy when ppl mix love, manipulation, hurt, pleasure…….. nowadays it’s pretty hard to tell right from the beginning……. How you can just finally srt your boundaries and show him that is over, there is no way back? Thanks
Very true...
I Firmly agree right person, wrong time.This video came just at the right time. The power of healing 🙌🏽.
Healing is definitely key!
It's never a wrong time it the wrong person.
Thank you this video came at the perfect time. sometimes you just need to hear stuff over and over in a positive way. My ex had came back to me wanting to be friends and be in my life whin my life which includes texting me every day good morning. When we went to dinner and having conversation he continued to keep checking out women at the next table over so bad that I had to turn around and keep looking to see what he was looking at and it still never even phased him even though we are not together I felt very disrespected as this was something he used to do when we were together. Thank you for this video it was just a positive reminder to know to value myself and just keep moving on and friendship will not be in our cards so thank you.
@@nubianqueen5975 that's exactly what I was thinking.
IF THIS MESSAGE DIDNT COME AT THE "RIGHT TIME" THANK YOU SIR!! ❤
My pleasure ❤
Yup!😁
If he does it to you over and over again clearly means he doesn't respect you.This happened to me with this last guy i was seeing. Ladies be stronger and don't let a man string you along and treat you like an option, a convenience.
This one just made me cry. I’ve been so scared of this connection because I’ve never felt it so deeply. He brings me so much peace and he’s so patient but I have only been exposed to bad relationships my whole life and I run away when it gets hard. I don’t want to ruin this but it seems like I am because of all the noise from the enemy. I’ve been in counseling and it’s helping but he’s here now. I hope that I’m right and God will bring him back again when I’m ready.
Stand strong in your convictions. God is not the author of confusion but the way of peace! Continue to grow and get stronger. He may or may not be the one for you - but regardless, if you are not ready in your heart and mind both being in agreement, then don't do it. Don't worry about anything else. God knows the beginning and the end. He is never in a rush. He is all about YOU! ❤❤❤❤✝️🙏🏽🥰💯🎯 No one can take what is meant for YOU! No worries about that.
Hugs
Praying for you! Don't let him go.
I know ur mainly talking to the ladies, but sometimes it's the men who have to heal and return, not the woman needing to heal and accept him. Men less accomplished shrink before an independent women, creates insecurities, or, just her being herself amplifies his insecurities and may cause him to leave...
What about those instances
Thank you for this. I have been independent since I moved out my moms house. I do think my independence amplifies any Man I have dated, insecurities. I’m patient and kind, I am also very supportive. I’m on the “top level” of course I want my mans up there with me so I always encourage my man to do better.. to reach his highest potential and then I get left. It gets annoying but I guess men who aren’t used to being talked kindly to with love or arent used to a woman with patience as well as that level of independence.. they run? Maybe it makes them feel unworthy to have such a great partner? Idk
Good morning Ms. Passley! If that is the case then work on self love and no other human being for higher and independent that they might be will make you feel less then. Work on any childhood traumas that you may have for most of the time we have traumas that we think we have overcome, when in fact our subconscious mind keep those traumatic events there just for it to resurface later in life. You can do some childhood trauma meditation and also self love meditation. That way you can reprogram your subconscient and it will help you to get your power back no only as a man but as a human being. I hope this helps you. Love and light🥰
This is so true… dealing with this now… he’s a good guy… he’s been abused in past relationships… I’m very independent and straight forward and it scares him… it’s obvious to everyone that he is deeply in love with me… he’s scared
@@natlinder1921 exact same situation. We broke up 4 months ago now so he could work through past traumas and insecurities. It’s so painful.
@stephanspeaks should see this and get back.
I am listening to the part about healing and I just started crying. How are you supposed to find the joy and excitement and freshness about approaching love with new eyes after dealing with deep pain & betrayal? And then the weight and guilt of blaming yourself for staying so long in a ridiculous dynamic. I just wish I could go back and time and erase ever meeting him. It wasn’t worth my heartbreak at all.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
This was for me! I know he is the one, but we both have some healing to do. Right person, wrong time, but I will not waste the wait.
I pray you’re able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
When you love yourself so much you don't take most things personal. I have learned to unconditionally love myself and in my reflection I have learned to love others unconditionally and accept people as they are. If a man is reflecting my insecurities I work on myself and realize that rejection has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. I do agree that it's important to talk and discuss intentions and wholeheartedly respect each other whatever that path may be.
What you did?
This comment is golden.
I agree with Release and Release. I will regret forever not doing that. When you release, but keep everything bottled up, you will never get over it.
I have recently learned that the less people you tell about your situation the better because ppl will try to advise you on what they would do in that situation not what you should/could do and society has it painted to never go back to someone but everyone's experience is different and no one will truly understand it like the two people in the relationship. I have been questioning a lot in regards to this topic. But you breaking it down and explaining it thoroughly gave me some clarity. So thank you!
My pleasure ❤
Totally agree with you
@@merelengarcia9475 what is the number for the relationship restorer
Welcome
Welcome
Pray about it, ask God for guidance. Also, “be willing to heal first, and don’t be afraid to let him back in”. Thanks Stephan!🙏🏾🙏🏾
My pleasure ❤
Damn!!! That’s one of the most profound things I’ve heard in so long. The more he cares about you the less likely he is to recover from your rejection enough to keep trying. You’re right! The players make more attempts to my rejection!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
It's not worth going back heal and you will feel much better there will be sad times hard times but be strong
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How about processing the entire time you're apart? Flushing everything out during the time of separation and getting everything out via journal, email, written letter,etc. During this time you can determine if it's worth it. As a result, if they come back you're CLEAR on what YOU want and either it is or isn't them.
Self Love
Self care
Healing
Love it!
The worst thing I regret but I learned a lot! He came back and literally treated me even worse I acted off my emotions by letting him in I knew better but I leaned I’m better wiser and becoming stronger than ever❤️🙏🏽
In the beginning if its too fast and already having problems and you have doubts, red flags, patterns of disguise...walk away. Confusion, chaos manipulation not good! Behavioral change isn't a deep rooted heart change. Know the difference!
They'll change temporarily.
Check to see how he treats his loved ones. The closest ones behind closed doors know him best!!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
The fact that this video popped up at the very time when he came back. But I left him for a reason. I'm growing and feeling even better than ever
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Very well said
After breakup you should crying out of your shoulder! Just let it all out. Don’t try to move on to fast or trying to pretend like that you are ok but deep down you know you are so hurt .-. How long does it take to get it all out? I truly don’t know, maybe 6 months, 1 year or 2…just really cry until you can’t cry no more. When it stops that the signs you’re done with it
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Yesss
Friends first truly helps in a successful relationship...patience
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Nah, your heart still can get broken. Been there done that. A man will be a man do what he wants at the end of the day. Theres no instructions or step by step guide for the perfect relationship no matter if you take thing slow and be patienced.
Q
@@thatlovegirl12 I agree totally. I just got out of this very scenario you described. We're both good Christian people. I thought we were on the same page, especially being long-term friends, who had a loving relationship, separated by distance. He even said "God told him you let her get away once, don't let it happen again"! He proposed with a ring on Valentines Day, and then got cold feet, 3months after we set a wedding date. (6- 21-21.) 🙄🤦🏽♀️. He says he's not ready!!? I thank God I'm mentally strong and stable. I'm disappointed but that's called life! Just had to share.😊
Facts! Building a good friendship equals good connection...which makes a good solid foundation for a possible good healthy long-lasting relationship.
"Don't react emotionally" this one is powerful
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
Don't react emotionally - Don't allow even family members to influence you
Get everything off your chest - Be open minded and discuss things to eliminate confusion and fear
Evaluate the worthiness of the relationship - Is it fixable?
Is there a real connection? - Connection can never be destroyed
Be willing to heal - not let fear block you into letting him in your life
Don't let loneliness and boredom get the best of you
Release and release - even if you are not taking them back
Seek guidance ffom counselor or therapist
Check if it is the right time for their come back
Let him go and shut all the doors if convinced that he ain't the one - Don't allow the same mistake twice
Pray and talk to God to seek direction and clarity
Thank you
Thank You Tudo. You are a indeed very good soul😍😇🌹💞🍫 Sending you blessings thru my prayer
Thank you!!!!
Thank you for posting this
@@TT-ls1yz thank you soooo much for the outline ❤️
1) don’t be emotionally and step back emotionally and Evaluate
2).speak your truth
3).ask your self is this worth it to fix it
4).Release fear and try
5).don’t allow people to choose for you
6).if u do give him a try give him a real try
Good Advice , Stephan !! I know now to pay attention to a man's language , when he comes back. If he begins the conversation talking about my emotions and saying things like : I understand why you're mad/bitter/broken etc etc. Red Flag - that man is trying to get you in your "feelings" ; thinking with your emotions and not using logic - intuition . That man reminds me of the serpent that talked to Eve ... The Word never said how many times he talked to her before she was deceived. Thank you , Stephan !!
My pleasure ❤
True
ABSOLUTELY TRUE
Be willing to heal and be willing to let him back in …. Connection cannot be destroyed, but a lot of trash can be thrown on top of it.
Excellent, insightful video. First,only take him back if the situation was Not toxic and detrimental to your health and safety. Agree with your key points, if the love is worth pursuing, and there is genuine love and connection, that is worth saving. Majority of relationships are sabotaged by fear to be open and vulnerable. Poor communication creates confusion and chaos. Fear cannot guide you only truth. Release your feelings, forgive, and most importantly don't take for granted a love that has the potential to change your life. Pray always and let God guide you both. Thank you for the video. "A sliver of light" was the word you were thinking of regarding the door being dimmed. Be Blessed.
Thank you for sharing be blessed as well, I appreciate your feedback!
K*kķmm, m
After 28 years! Lives lead, living thousands of miles away at the moment, wants to reconnect once my move is complete next year back to California. Seeing one another to talk about the past has to be done in person, face to face. We were best friends then, and feel a closeness now. Taking our time now that we're in our late 50s has to be. We have much to talk about. We've left such an impression on one another to where we've always looked one another up but never pursued one another till now. I missed our friendship, but know we have to talk it out, and see what develops from there. He's ex-military and has gone through so much that he's finally in a place of self care which is wonderful. I'm appreciating the time and distance right now. I need to breath through it. Praying for guidance and healing. He took such great care of me then, timing is everything, and maybe this is it. I'm still breathing... Thanks I'm happy I ran across this video.
My husband did me wrong 3years ago and I still can’t trust him! He came back because he know I let him! Listening your video really open my eye!! I still don’t have good feeling for him. I still feel he will do me wrong again. Thank you so much your wonderful video!! It’s thought me a lot❤️
Yessss!! I always felt that lack of communication sabotages so many connections intimate, friends, family, professional. Clarity on situations in life is so powerful it helps to bond the connection it prevents assumptions, it builds trust it helps with expansion and if patience is needed because some people are a very slow burn and that’s ok but we must communicate THANKYOU for this 🙏💁🏼♀️😁
My pleasure ❤
This! ❤👂
It’s a pattern. Has been for over 2 years. He’s trying and I’m not going back to that confusion. I’m tired.
I feel you it definitely isn't an easy situation, but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!
Yasssss ascending sis!
I know a man who can help you get your ex back within 3hours
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Yup you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned about being hurt and disappointed again. I'm just trying to save my heart from all that. It's pretty much all I have that's left of me.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I totally agree. We shouldn’t let the wrong people back into our lives for the wrong reasons. Use your intuition to discern whether this is a genuine connection or not and whether it’s something that can be worked through.
💯
You're absolutely right!
Hello dear I can introduce you to a woman who can help you get your ex back
Message her on WhatsApp.
You will experience a peaceful relationship henceforth
I agree healing is needed in order for it to transit into a holy relationship
You're absolutely right, healing is definitely key!
Never let people dictate who you love. Sometimes, people we’re going through lots of stuff & weren’t emotionally intelligent at the time when they we’re with you but, time heals & gives you both growth & you reconnected & are having a deeper relationship years later.He got scared before, I didn’t.Now, we’re both working on our communication, friendship, connection & having it all work out now!
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Stephan can I tell you I absolutely LOVE YOU!!! Not in a romantic way......I love you with the love of God...You have such a sincere, genuine spirit about you that does not come off as haughty, arrogant, self serving or deceptive in any way. You seem to just be a great and humble man! I appreciate you and thank you!
If I hadn't met and bonded my current bae 20 years ago, I wouldn't have given him a chance today.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks lol
Same here ❤️
Guess what! I don’t want him back. I was so torn when he hurt me. I questioned my self worth. I collected myself again and here I am. At first I really wanted him back, I thought I wouldn’t make it. The detachment was unbelievable and the feeling was so bad. Sooner did I know that the pain I was feeling was actually, me letting him go. Girl… he doesn’t deserve you if he made you compete with another woman. Run. He’s not worth it.
Facing the truth can be a different thing, accepting, believing, understanding and listening to who (he) is through his actions and words can be scary because it may not add up to the person you taught you fell for. Add betrayal to that and now you are questioning everything you’ve experience in that relationship. Reflection and ownership of your part is the first step, then acceptance, then healing so you don’t repeat the cycle. Here’s to closing the door and embrace the new chapter (healing me). Thanks for your video, very informative as always 😊
Right, his words were wonderful and endearing, the actions however, didn't match.
I realize my worth and I will get whatever treatment I deserve !!!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Your values inform your boundaries 🙏🏾
Thanks Stephan balanced advice.
"The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman love with no intention of loving her."
( Bob Marley)
Never allow a man to live rent-free inside your head. He will bring you nothing but confusion and chaos.
They're little grown boys trapped inside of a man's body. Protect your heart, soul, and mind. You will feel so much better. And you will have a better, healthy life.😊
As far as I am concerned, if either of us left the relationship, there was a good reason for it. Sometimes its better to leave well enough alone. I don't take exes back nor have I ever begged anybody to take me back. And yes, I am in a happy loving relationship, so I think my approach is not wrong.
It takes a lot of self control, not to react with an explosion of emotions, when he comes back (in my case after a year).Woman should be prepared for it in advance by imaging this situation in her mind...and by getting information about these cases from someone, who is experienced and objective enough...thank you
My pleasure ❤
facts
Did it work for you when you met with them?
Well ladies always remember
🗣NEVER TAKE A MAN BACK THAT UP N LEFT YOU .
This is spot on and on point! Although it's a rare, I do believe in the right person, wrong time. An exception would be if the person was immature and never cheated and never was disrespectful. They needed to grow as a person and gain more life experiences.
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Exactly. Yes!
Sound like a narc👺🧚♂️ Peter Pan syndrome.
Run🏃♀️💨💨💨💨
Do Not L👀k Back.
This type will make you sick🤮
💯 facts. Must keep family and friends out of your relationship business. Your videos always provide much needed guidance and wisdom.
Thank you, I appreciate that!
Her comment is totally true!!
Shid that secretive stuff can get you killed and no one knows what’s up. JS
Stephan...you are gifted. what you are doing has been ordained by God. only a few people have this kind of understanding and revelation on issues of the heart. You put a lot of things in perspective hence enabling a lot of us to make decisions that allow us to live fulfilled lives.
Glad I could help 🙏
😙 Some situations are forgivable...Some you forgive and Never have anything to do with them. 💯 Real talk buddy...
Love this " connection can not be destroyed but a lot of crap and be placed on it" makes perfect sense
I love these discussions……… OPTIMISM, CLARITY, BEAUTY, OPENNESS, VISION, LISTENING 👂, CONNECTING, INTUITION
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The right person wrong time is something I went through! I'm so happy to hear you say that. When we broke up before we weren't meant for each other. Now we are back & I'm glad we are. Yes I was hurt bad when I had no communication with him, and when he contacted me again after a couple yrs, I felt the hurt & felt the love for him. Now we are trying to be better for each other & working on ourselves at the same time.
Thank you for this!!!
@@Aquarian231990 ❤
Good luck! ♥️
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I’ve been in a off and on relationship for over 10 years … two kids later .. and we still can’t get it right… I freakin over it ..I’ve been broken and I feel like I’m a completely different person … I’ve absolutely have gone cold .. don’t ever wanna deal with another again
Hey.. I'm right here with you. 17 yrs one 15 yr old son. Our situation is so complicated.. I feel like we are suppose to grow old together, but right now we can't get along. I'm very hurt & sad. I'll be happy when I have no feelings at all.. at least I won't cry. I never thought we'd be in this position again.
@@sansuggs yeah I’m completely tapped out .. and the crazy thing is that we just had our first daughter 7 months ago .. his first daughter and my first daughter.. emotionally , I’ve literally gone cold ..
@@ninalove3942 I understand.. ppl say move on, but having a child by that person makes it that much harder. We've been through this before.. I want to fix it & he wants separation. I'm going to leave it with God because if I don't I'll do things I'll regret. I just want to not care.
Kids don’t make it harder! I have a son with my ex, we broke up when our son was 18 months I would never get back with him never!!! I have too much self love and respect for my self 💕 love, I’m 33 he is 44 years old! I met him when I was 23 years old. Just pray 🙏🏽 about it and I put him on court order child support
I know how you feel. I hv been there....
I’ve only known of one relationship where a married couple had a daughter after many struggles they decided to divorce and go their separate ways…30 years later they were reunited because of their daughter and when the man saw his ex wife again he said it was as if they’d never stop loving each other…one year later remarried and started serving at the church I was attending to at the time! Beautiful story and probably one in a million!
Yes, I am a believer of God and yes when you are in doubt it's true talk to God cause he will make it plan in your heart as well as your thoughts
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Oh My Praise.. NO! I HAD TO LEAVE & NO MATTER HOW LONESOME I MAY GET AT TIMES, I'M COMPLETELY DONE.... CO-PARENTING IS GOING JUST GREAT!!! That was 18years of my life, that door🚪 is CLOSED 🔐.. I'm 39 knocking on 40's door🚪 waiting patiently, Obediently, and working on self-love 🙏🏽❤️& HEALING + Prof...
I/We sincerely appreciate you Stephan 🙏🏽
Time heals......he tried to come back, the first thing that came to mind for me, was all the things I did NOT miss when he was gone.....so for that reason......I'm good, no thank, stay gone!!!
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I have a fearful avoidant attachment way to love. I was always a late bloomer and She was my first girlfriend from 23-27. I took her for granted, and became wrapped up in myself - I let my ego control me. This breakup was the experience I needed to shake me to my core and re establish my relationship with faith- something I lost for many years. Doesn’t matter what she did to contribute or has to work on, I am focusing on my own accountability to be the best person I can and hopefully carry that into the future of love. I have this deep feeling it should be her, though at this point I know it’s not my place. It’s in the lords hands.
Stephan, I love this video - one can only hope the right guy at the wrong time can grow, heal and become a mature best version of himself. Perhaps he will realise you were a real one and he was mistaken in past. But if you have been treated like a game in past, healing yourself and flushing the water is so important before moving into a healthy version of the relationship with the best version of him. Part of learning from past is growing and becoming the best version of yourself too :)
You're absolutely right thank you for sharing!
love
This is why journaling is so important. It helped me vent so I wouldn’t haul off on my boyfriend. When my current boyfriend was assaulted by a stranger, what happened was to be expected; he withdrew and I didn’t see him for six weeks as he was healing from the attack. We are long distance I’ll be at only 350 miles away from each other. But, he didn’t answer his texts, Calls or anything. I did not know how he was doing. I even sent him letters. They all went unanswered. I began to get therapy again because of all of this. I was hurt and angry at the attacker more than I was at my boyfriend. Because this was not my boyfriends fault. My boyfriend went into a dark night of soul, if you will. And he wasn’t getting mental help at the time. He is now however. I contemplated ending the relationship. Because he had changed so much after the assault. But my other half was saying to be supportive and patient. Mind you he wasn’t trying to decide between me or another woman. This was a completely different issue. This was some thing that blindsided the both of us. I drove down to California to see him from my home here in Nevada. He was thrilled to see me. But there was still some thing missing. I took a long hard look at the relationship to see if I was still valid or needed in his life. Throughout all that time he hardly texted me. And I tried to match his level of investment by not texting him that much. I would just ask how he was doing and he wouldn’t answer back. And if he did it was a short text. Or one really long one, to not hear from him again for a very long time. Fast forward six months after the assault, he is now on medication and he did a complete 180 after his recovery. Also that was after I told him that I was breaking up with him. Through all that time I didn’t even tell him that I would do that. But there was a breaking point. I know my worth. We are now doing well. And I’m happy. My moral is to be patient. Know your worth. Be there for your family first, and yourself, go to work and be present at your job, take care of yourself and your body and get your sleep, then worry about the person that is the one you hoped would be your lifelong partner. In other words, God first, family second, and your job third. We are still together BTW. But, on a higher level. We are talking about our future together. Please journal and vent on paper. Don’t haul off on him. You’ll drive him away.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️