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Will I be having children?

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  • Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
  • Whether or not to have children is something me and my wife talk about all the time. For me, it is an important decision that requires education and thought.
    In today’s video I explore my thoughts about having children, and the ideas of anti-natalism, suffering, and what makes a life worth living.
    I was inspired to make this video after watching my wife’s video on the same topic. You can find her video here • 9 reasons to NOT have ...
    Studies mentioned
    High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being www.princeton....
    Thank you so much for watching this video! If you find this video helpful feel free to like, comment, and subscribe - it really helps the channel.
    Private Meditation & Spiritual Life offerings:
    🧘🏾🧘‍♀️ www.SonamHoani...
    Support
    🏔 Join the community: / sonamhoani
    🧧 Donate: At any time it is possible to support my channel by entering sonamhoani@gmail.com into 'Pay & Get Paid' @ www.paypal.com
    🌿 Use my link on iHerb to receive a 5% discount and I will receive a 5% reward: nz.iherb.com/?...
    Saga's Channels:
    👧 / sagajohanna
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    Your support means the world to me. If I could do this all the time, I would. And one day, I hope I will. Your 'watching,' is what makes this possible.
    If you have your own questions, about anything, leave a comment :)
    - Sonam
    00:00 Intro
    06:00 My childhood
    00:29 Adoption
    01:03 Money
    01:16 Mental health
    02:18 Questions to ask yourself
    03:05 Consciousness
    03:48 Do I want a child?
    04:53 My wife’s video on children
    05:11 Outro

Комментарии • 18

  • @dreamymango
    @dreamymango Год назад +3

    in previews videos, you mentioned that you let go of a lot of old habits, things and hobbies. would love to see an advice or tips video on how to let go of things you love, just a video suggestion/idea

    • @SonamHoani
      @SonamHoani  Год назад +3

      Thank you! I’m adding this to my future videos list 😁

  • @alecb.7696
    @alecb.7696 Год назад +3

    I think far too many people have children because of an assumption that 'this is what you do'. I've never felt the call to be a parent myself, which is in part based on an awareness that I would not be a good one (I need a level of simplicity and regularity in my life). My views are of course deeply counter-cultural. I agree with your nuanced observations about the things that need to be considered and the need to proceed with intentionality.

    • @SonamHoani
      @SonamHoani  Год назад +2

      I agree with everything you say here. I’m also not sure if I could be a parent. Sometimes I wonder if despite even my best intentions, I might psychologically still fail any future children, because of subconscious habits, left over from my own upbringing. I also, do not yet feel any desire for children anyway.

  • @timdougherty8624
    @timdougherty8624 Год назад +1

    I thoroughly enjoy your videos I can’t wait for your next one. Selfishly, I would like to see them posted more often. Could you show us what your daily meditation is like and what works for you? Anything that you would like to share about your time in the monastery’s would be great!

    • @SonamHoani
      @SonamHoani  Год назад +2

      Thank you! I should have a new upload coming soon. My uploading has become less frequent because we’ve been focusing on my partners channel more (saga johanna) But, I think this content is good to exist, so new uploads are coming at they will even be a little more experimental, which I think will might make my personal practice more literal 😄

  • @Lunay08
    @Lunay08 Год назад +1

    Thank you so much for this video Sonam! This topic is such a touchy one as a lot of people do not agree with the decision to not have children. I made the decision to not have one a couple of years ago myself. It took a lot of thinking on the pros and cons, and I decided the cons FAR outweigh the pros.
    Omg I KNEW I saw you in Saga's new van video! I was wondering if that was you! I follow you both before I even knew she was your wife! Both of your channels are beautiful. Please continue to upload

    • @SonamHoani
      @SonamHoani  Год назад

      😄 What a satisfying discovery 🤣 and thank you, that’s lovely to hear. I think the most important thing is probably that it is a conscious choice! It’s a significant one where a lot changes 😄

  • @karumanchikrishna1109
    @karumanchikrishna1109 Год назад +1

    Great video! Glad to see you posting again after a month :)

    • @SonamHoani
      @SonamHoani  Год назад +4

      It’s time for a return :) I don’t know if you’ve seen my partner Saga’s channel, but we’ve just changed the conditions of our life a little dramatically (we live in a van now and moved Islands…) so that has been part of the cause in delay. (As well as some family matters). But, I’m looking forward to being back and rebirthing the channel with perhaps a slightly new spin/ style-experimentation… stay tuned! 😄

    • @karumanchikrishna1109
      @karumanchikrishna1109 Год назад

      @@SonamHoani oh ok! Looking forward to the new style! Living in a Van and Moving islands seems very exciting

  • @peyvandf
    @peyvandf Год назад +1

    Also the responsibility we fill for the continuity of intelligent conscious empathetic humans means those naturally will suffer in a world that mostly ignorant ppl have kids and they will have to have battles with all these unconscious ignorant ones too. Even more than us

    • @SonamHoani
      @SonamHoani  Год назад +2

      Yes! I think this is a very interesting point. Ideally we want the world to be made up of deeply intelligent and compassionate people and the circumstances for that seem to me, to be more obvious than we acknowledge.

  • @Siberius-
    @Siberius- Год назад +1

    Great video. I've personally never had the desire to have kids. Just never popped up. I'm almost 30 now. My Nieces are great, but they have also made it even more clear to me that it's not the life I want. Then there's the risks and philosophy. I feel extremely uncomfortable gambling with a human life, knowing their life could be absolutely horrible. Birth conditions, growing fascism, very severe mental disorders, horrific human acts, worsening economy, etc. etc. then yea just their existence is contributing to harm unfortunately (under the current system particularly).
    People have an ability to keep pressing forward through hell, with but a single drop of happy-fuel, which is something to factor in. Like their life is 99% suffering, but if there's any amount of good, then they can sometimes feel it's worth it to keep living. That's an interesting brain thing (likely something to do with passing on genes lol). Ideally they just wouldn't have existed in the first place, it's deeply tragic, and I don't know if their survival mechanism is enough to make it the moral decision to make if one could go back before they even existed and just not have them exist).
    Of course in reality it doesn't matter what they hypothetically would have felt about their life, because they straight-up don't exist and don't need to. Lest we all have as many babies as possible and grow them in labs.
    Anyway, bit of a tangent there.
    Ultimately it's gambling with potentially someone else's life, which doesn't sit right with me. Especially with how difficult it is to get assisted euthanasia, which includes when they're elderly.
    I don't feel it's worth it for a shit-tonne of suffering to occur, so as a future generation can maybe one day live in bliss. When none of it had to happen in the first place. I'd rather all of existence instead be nothingness (or to have always been nothingness), than for there to be some amount of immense suffering involved in existence. But that's a philosophical moral question in a vacuum.
    As far as antinatalism goes, I'm sympathetic to it, the real philosophy where it's about not bringing life into existence, rather than killing life, which is pro-mortalism (different thing). But I feel it does fall apart on a large scale. Because to REALLY do antinatalism, it wouldn't be limited just to humans, that would be very strange. It's about suffering and lots of creatures suffer. So it would be like a human effort to sterilise everything on earth that suffers, but then there could be life on other planets, and also a worm might not suffer now, but it may one day evolve the ability suffer (also not always easy to determine).
    So ironically under antinatalism philosophy, humans need to carry on essentially potentially forever. Maybe not as many people, and they'd need some life around them to do this, but yea. Bit of a weird situation.
    I wonder if there are other species travelling space, sterilising everything they see, teaming up with other species with the same goal.
    Anyhoo!
    Ultimately I just don't have the desire though, and then other stuff just gets added on top.
    Oh, also yea people generally seem to really just go through the motions of what is expected of them. Education, uni/college these days, find career, find partner, marry partner, have child, wait maximum of generally 2 years, have maybe 1 more child, buy house, etc. this laid out template for their life that they often don't really think about whether they actually want it or not. Or where that desire maybe came from.

  • @simmersman9736
    @simmersman9736 5 месяцев назад +1

    If you mean should most people have children? I would say no because they arent fit as parents, they are trash parents. But with good parents? All of them should because they will make the best of people whoch is what the world needs, so yes its ethical, very ethical.

  • @paulettebentler3275
    @paulettebentler3275 Год назад +1

    This is why I love your channel! Wow, you need to research 'Promo SM'!!