8 Restaurant Etiquette Mistakes a Gentleman NEVER Makes
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- Опубликовано: 16 май 2024
- Essentials of restaurant and dining etiquette for men.
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Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:40 #1
1:26 #2
2:12 #3
2:40 #4
3:15 #5
4:18 #6
5:25 #7
6:24 #8
7:12 Conclusion 
Хобби
How a person treats the wait staff is definitely a true glimpse into the true character of a person.
I am guilty as charged. Half the table got their entrées and the other half 20 minutes later... I was so beyond annoyed.
Exactly,@@alfredbonnabel7022. 👍 Holding your cool and not being disrespectful to the server/wait staff is super important. Most likely, it is NOT their fault, so no reason to be rude to THEM.
@@WaltDittrich I did give him a $20 tip beside what he received from our table for service. Money doesn't make my actions right, but it was the least I can do.
Over the years of being a regular at a few places in town (mostly pubs), I've trimmed down to three guidelines for how one should behave. 1) Be polite. 2) Tip well if deserved and sometimes even if not deserved (Leaving no tip at all makes you look bad. Leaving some change or maybe 5 or 10 percent of the meal's price, sends a message to the server if the service is bad. Don't fault the server because the food is subpar. When they ask you how the food is, be specific and courteous. 3) Never never hit on the waitstaff. They already know when you're interested and if they are interested in you, you will know.
I agree with being nice to the staff because they do have control of my food. I used to work in a restaurant kitchen. I won't be nice if the staff is obnoxious and rude to me while I'm being nice, but I'll wait until after I receive my last serving of food to escalate the matter.
Variation on #5: don’t butter your bread from the main source of butter. Take a portion of butter and put it on your bread plate and butter your bread with your individual portion.
I was just about to mention this and saw your post..best regards
Yes, absolutely. Perhaps I should have made that more clear. However, many restaurants these days give each diner individual packs of butter
Yes totally agree. Even here in Australia, we are generally easy going and forgive most slip ups with etiquette, but even here, taking a bite out of your buttered bread and putting it back on the plate is considered gross and inconsiderate of others. I’ve made my share of etiquette mistakes over the years, but being late or taking a bite out of buttered bread and putting it on the plate are 2 things I have never done, it’s just common sense really.
The same goes with sauces. Don’t pull a George Castanza and double dip.
Right! And no licking the fingers.
I am a 72 year old gentleman and truly appreciate this much needed instructional video.
More like this are needed. Thank you.
I never expected to ever read the sentence "I am a gentleman..." I think "Gentleman" is something to be called, not to call yourself to be.
The problem dear gentlemen is that those who need to watch the video are more interested in watching videos about riots
I’m in my late 70s so learned all these things as a young man, but this is excellent info for younger people who didn’t get much training from their elders.
I’m 77 was raised to behave in this manner (except the bread thing). It’s appalling how many younger guys are either unaware or completely ignore common sense etiquette.
Nice to see other older cops have manners, too. From retired cop Pam in Ontario.
Lord knows there are enough who need it.
I taught all these rules to our two adult grandsons and can only hope they follow them. They do behave themselves when dining out w/us.
Or didn't listen.
Another one to add. If one's meal arrives before everyone else's, do not start eating until your date or the rest of the guests on your table has been served
Good point, but if the restaurant staff is even mildly competent, they'll know enough to bring everyone's meals together or very nearly together if it's more than the waiter can do in one trip.
Do not go back to that restaurant.
that’s actually a big one!
a month ago i was invited to big banquet style brunch for my friends birthday. the entire table of ~20 people is served including myself except for my neighbor to my left who happened to be a very attractive woman and
friend of the birthday girl. the rest of the table began eating but i waited for a few more minutes until the servers finally brought out her plate. She noticed and thanked me for waiting and we ended up very successfully chatting that dinner and for a long time after
Unless u r Larry David!
I attended a lot of business functions where we would be seated for lunch/dinner at round tables of six or eight. Gentlemen - not only wait until everyone is served, but also wait for any ladies at the table to start their meal. My wife was often with me and she knew to ‘start the meal’ by taking a bite or two as soon as all were served. Sometimes ladies will be in a conversation and keep on talking while the gentlemen, if they know, just sit there waiting on the ladies.
I’ll add a few more:
Don’t get too drunk if at all.
Don’t complain about the food even if you didn’t enjoy it much.
Always place a napkin on your lap even in lesser quality restaurants. It always looks like you know how to eat out and saves your trousers from anything that may drop.
An no elbows on the table!!!!
Very good suggestions. Personally, I don’t like to put paper napkins on my lap unless I think there’s a high chance of spilling something. They fall off too easily
Chewing with your mouth open, making disgusting slurping noises. One thing that sets me off permanently is someone who blows noisily on their coffee/tea/soup and the proceeds to slurp it up, and then rattle their spoon around in the cup to mix it up.
@@Gent.Z Maybe it’s a U.S. thing but, cloth or paper, put your napkin in your lap. I’ve never experienced paper napkins falling off more so than cloth. If it falls off, ask the waiter for another.
Always complain about the food if it's not up to standard, otherwise you get the same crap again and again
If she's getting drunk, you have to get drunk, knowing the original plan of screwing her brains out after dinner is in play.
My college fraternity had etiquette training. Three finer points are:1) the salt and pepper shakers are never separated. If someone asks you to pass one of them you give that person both. 2) when you’ve finished your meal you put the knife and fork at the 4 o’clock position on the plate signifying to the waiter you‘re done. 3) adults please cut you’re meat(steak, chicken, fish) as you eat it, you don’t totally cut the meat up and then eat up all the pieces like a child would.
Very good points. It’s encouraging to hear that some fraternities teach this sort of thing
I'm old school, aged 63. I respect a man getting up when a lady leaves the table and again when she returns
Coincidentally, my 8 year old son and I are having dinner at a fine dining restaurant tomorrow night before attending the theatre (his first time seeing live theatre). These were some great reminders for gentle teaching moments which will be part of our dining experience. Thank you - you've gained a new subscriber.
I hope it went well. You reminded me of when I accompanied my 8 year-old son to a performance of Siegfried at the MET, and we had a restaurant dinner before. Because we watched a lot of opera on video in the late 80s my son learned to read from the subtitles and became an opera nut, a Wagner nut, really, from the age of three or four. Now pushing 40, he is a bigger fan than ever. Sometimes, all you have to do is push the boat out onto the water and it sails itself.
That's nice, teaching children how to act in a fine dining restaurant. Too many are lacking these skills these days.
What a wonderful experience for you both. I hope a good time was had by all. 👍
Gay
Please do not make the mistake of educating your son that Theater, acting, pretending to be "the King" and acting like one is essential for a good education.
Stimulating his own interests and supporting him in thinking about the present is far more important than becoming an expert in what someone wrote yesterday.
I was dining with my boss and a couple he had invited to join us. When the check came and he picked up the meal, the couple were surprised but grateful. To show their appreciation, they ordered a dessert to go AFTER they found out he was treating. Talk about "classless".
Oh dear. I had to read that twice. I thought they ordered dessert to go "on their own bill".
With the classless note, I'm guessing they added that on to the existing bill? Yes, horrible.
@@WaltDittrich Yea. When they found out my boss was treating, they added the to-go dessert onto his bill. He was too polite to protest.
I would have called them out on that
Oh, boy!
@@frankwalton7323no,then you would become as classless as they were
Living in the Upper east side of Manhattan one trick that works here is If you are going to a top tier restaurant they usually are booked up weeks in advance but if you ask to take the earliest appointment and leave by prime diner hour they will fit you in. That is usually 8pm. So make a 5pm reservation and be out by 8 works over the years for me.
3hrs at an American restaurant? That means the waiter/waitress will ask you on average 12.000 times if everything is OK!? That's challenging...
@@agn855 That is the difference between having a dining experience and getting something to eat.
The problem is that few restaurants have a place to leave a hat.
If I started eating at 8 PM, my reflux would be going all night! Also, three hours seems like a long time to eat a meal. Am I mistaken?
Nice to see a young man promoting gentlemanly behavior these days!
Two additional points: 9 Choose a restaurant appropriate for the type of event / date. For example, if you intend to chat with your guest(s), don't take them to a restaurant that is likely to be noisy or has loud music. 10. If the restaurant has a smart dress code, make sure you conform to it, inform your date likewise well in advance, and give them an idea of what you will be wearing (e.g. a suit & tie) so that they have ample opportunity to dress appropriately in line with you.
As an aspiring young gentleman from America, I have never heard of the bread mistake. I love your content so much and have learned a great deal so I know I would love more videos based around etiquette! Thank you for all the work you put in to these videos!
Thank you, sir. I'll be happy to keep them coming
I’m in this same boat, being from America and never hearing about the bread and butter mistake. Great to learn and apply moving forward
To my fellow Americans, this bread issue is in fact very important. Please be sure to follow the important instructions put forth here.
As far as rule #2, to insinuate that certain “cultures” are prone to lateness is both racist and oppressive.
@@Gent.Z; As far as rule #2, to insinuate that certain “cultures” are prone to lateness is both racist and oppressive.
Please. Please. Please, never wear your cap/hat while dining. In the U.S. there is a pandemic of this disrespect.
This is so true and wearing a hat while dining lowers your perceived IQ, style sense, self awareness and learned manners. Even worse if you choose your baseball cap backwards.
I was in the Coast Guard and it was a requirement that you take off your cover (hat) when going onto the mess deck (dining area) because traditionally, that is where the ship's surgeon or corpsman (pronounced cor-man) would operate on wounded sailors. I still go by that, even in a fast food restaurant.
Can't grant you that's one, the Cap of choice ( not fedoras or beefeaters or prussian army spike war helmets necessarily ) provides a certain function. Tired eyes from Screens. . L.e.d. restaurant insanity, recognition blocking, a wee sense of Privacy dammit or personal space albeit a few milimetres of brim-- (p.s. Panama in tropics etc also very useful) here to help.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves of all time - the jerk wearing his hat indoors...the bigger jerk is the hat wearer talking loudly on his phone.
We booked a table for dinner in a beautiful restaurant overlooking the Ocean in Camel California. The head waiter greeted us and before we had said a word, he asked if we were from Europe. He said he could tell because how stylish we looked… my husband was wearing a suit and I was wearing a little black dress. ( the head waiter was impeccably dressed) We were led into the beautiful restaurant to a lovely table. Unfortunately, on the next table the two ‘gentlemen’ were wearing shorts and caps back to front and the ‘ladies’ wear in what I would call casual beach dresses. They were rude to the staff and very noisy….such a shame.perhaps they should have watched this video. Ps my husband always stands when I leave the table for the powder room and on my return.
# 6 is excellent- combining realistic ability to comment on and rectify problems without rudeness. And above all noting that a gentleman is never flustered by trivial problems. Well put.
I’m a 62 year old Gentleman yes Gentleman. You give me hope I grew up in some of the finest restaurants on the eastern seaboard. I was a real 3 star restaurant a week ago the fool next to me in jeans and a baseball cap kept using foul language..it occurred to me he would have been happier at Wendy’s I know we would have had he made that choice!
Must have been an Alabama hat.
Breaking of bread is not just a saying, it's good manners. Teach your kids proper manners, otherwise they will have bad manners. Bad manners put a stain on one's reputation which people won't forget.
Cheers
Weird AI look generated presenter.
Who isn't happier at Wendy's? (Kidding good Sir).
Time have changed my friend. I was at a Ritz Carlton dining room recently and might as well been at McDonalds after a high school dance.
👍👏👏 In summary:
1. Make a reservation.
2. Never be late.
3. Make sure that you are standing when greeting your guests when they arrive.
4. Give your guests compliments and give attention to their comments.
5. Butter and eat one piece of bread at a time; do not butter the whole bread, bite into it, and then place the bread with the bite-mark back on the plate (😅😅 geeez)
6. Do not be rude to the restaurant staff.
7. Be careful what you order, in terms of appearance and price.
8. Always excuse yourself when there is an interruption.
I enjoyed this video and I agree with 5 out 8; I was raised to follow those 5 of the etiquette examples explained. I look forward to view more videos! For #7 I never show up to a date on an empty stomach, so that I can order sensibly.
So excellent.
You misunderstood rule #5
I actually took an etiquette class in college! One thing I was taught not to do (& I started noticing ppl who did it) was to blow your nose and examine its contents on your handkerchief.
Yikes! Hope that never happens at my table. I did know someone who would take out her cellphone and take a photo of her mouth to see if there was anything caught
between her teeth. Let's not go there.
So I guess that means that I can't eat the booger either?
That's very true. Another subtle etiquette tip that completely changed my life is to never use my date's hankerchief to wipe my ass and proudly show the contents off to everyone in the restaurant while touting what a good boy I am.
Hi, I am surprised that you had to wait until college before learning basic good manners, it is a bit late in life to start learning what most European children have learned by their second year of schooling. This is so obvious in Europe and hence you will see children eating with their parents in restaurants. I pointed out to a American colleague visiting us in Europe, that wearing a hat indoors was considered bad manners unless he was Jewish or Muslim. He said that it didn’t apply to him as he was American! I gave up. Cheers mate. Harera
@@deeza3384 ...and burping too, with the exception of arab culture
Very good video.
If I could send you my two cents of contribution.
1 - Never undo the tie while dining. Steadfast in the ranks.
2 - If the most senior gentlemen has not un buttoned his suit, you also do not.
3 - If when the wine arrives and you taste it and it is not good, stand your ground and ask for the waiter/maitre/sommelier evaluation. Perhaps you are wrong, but the staff will help. If you the wine is past its prime, its likely you and the lady will hungover next morning.
4 - Do not pay too much attention to "rules". Relax and enjoy the company and the meal, you may slip here and there, but in the end it is the learning curve that will get you "There".
I leaned many rules of etiquette from watching Cary Grant movies. That guy was smooth and made dinner manners look easy and natural.
In my dating life many years ago I always paid close attention to how my date treated the wait staff. I had learned that it was an almost universally accurate predictor for how I was going to be treated when the first blush of the relationship had passed.
I am quite the restaurant aficionado. I always pay for the for everyone's meal and encourage them to order what they would like. I will do this for my guests twice. If on the third invite they don't offer to pay. I don't invite them to dine with me again. This trick may sound pricy buy you find out who you want to hang out with. Anyone with a sense of decorum will simply not allow you to pay after you have payed for their meal before. It helps to find friends worth spending time with.
Often it's assumed that the one making the dinner suggestion is also going to pay (unless you specify that you want to go dutch), especially if a man is inviting a woman, even if it's not a date. I have a couple of friends who always pay, even if I offer or planned to. That's actually awkward to me, especially more than once or twice, since it feels to me like it puts me in debt to them or makes me feel like a freeloader. My friends who always insist on paying probably just feel good doing that. Sometimes best just to work it out with them and not assume too much in either direction, if you go out with the same people often.
Would so very much enjoy being your guest but only 3 times. Payed is BTW spelled in better circles, paid, hoping to see you soon over a tenderloin and a single malt. Cheerio.
@@schnaps1428Yeah, that "payed" was a goof!
“Quite the Restaurant aficionado…” OK here we go lol. Lol.
As a woman, unless I'm specifically told that my dining partner will be paying for my meal, I offer to pay my share - but only once per meal. If they turn down my single offer, I don't ask again. I do always thank them.
Depending on the relationship, I may or may not take a turn at being host.
Having dined, many times, at a 5-star hotel on the banks of Lake Como, I noticed the manner in which the waiters would always place a plate in front of the guest, coming in from the left-hand side, silently, and rather like a plane landing. I described this technique to a friend who worked at a very much down-to-earth grille, serving fried food to the masses. He tried it on his customers, and one of them gave him a tip (which was not usual) and a written note of appreciation for the service (including an apology for being slightly drunk!)
Appearances matter - and always have.
You are served from the left side and take away is from the right side. When finished eating you place the knife and fork across the plate so the waiter knows you are finished and will remove the plate. Never push the plate aside.
@@james-pierre7634 Agreed.
Thank you for making this video. It's much needed these days.
When I attended middle school back in the early '70s, all students took an etiquette class. I wish that were still taught in the public schools.
Times have changed. Marxism is in. And he declared social etiquette and table manners a fallacy of the bourgeoisie. Let' your kids scream, and eat with their hands - that is ok among real commerades.
And don't be surprised if drinking out of the bottle is ok too. Just make sure that you lick the rim clean before you put the bottle back.
Enjoy dinner in an Ester Block country and you will experience all of the "enjoying life and sharing a bottle".
55 yo American, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and learned early many gentleman traits, allow your partner to follow the waiter before you, ask their opinion on menu items, yes the bread I learned as a kid, also to only take one cut of the butter and use that cut on the bread plate for the rest of the meal, tear each bread bite. Some others, show an interest in your server, ask how they are and mean it, eye contact, thank them. Napkins on lap, elbows off table, no caps or hats, open side down on your seat next to you or knee. Fork/knife across top of plate when finished…the list goes on, thank you so much for your videos, the next generation needs to know. Cheers
"allow your partner to follow the waiter before you"
This is one my dad taught me too. You always follow behind her. Never make her follow behind you like a puppy dog.
@ScroatBagGarage: Here in Texas it is customary to leave your cowboy hat on when dining in fine establishments. However, on occasion I'm wearing a cowboy hat I can't but help myself to remove it.
@@wrc1210 The view is much better from behind as well 🍑
Great list! The only one I'm not sure about is the knife and fork. I was always taught the knife and fork (fork left and knife right) at the 4 o'clock position when finished eating. Any server worth their salt would know that you are done.
@@daveb2280 ---I have not been in a fine dining establishment since my 20s, when I still had a full head of hair. Except for church or the pledge of Allegiance, I hide my shame beneath my baseball hat. (Those transplants cost about $2 per hair).
Wonderful. I consider myself a old time gent, but I really enjoy watching your delivery and you keeping the art of civilization alive for the next generation.
Excellent video. Standing up when someone you expect joins you at your table is important. This holds true in many circumstances other than dining events.
One excellent compliment I've learned which has always been well received: "That dress/outfit looks great on you." It's so wonderful because you're primarily complimenting the person. It's the person that is making it look fantastic. Cheers!
More, please. We could ALL use the reminders. Very, very helpful - and thank you for caring.
As we see from the interesting and often excellent comments/replies, there are other things that could be added to the list. The point is that this video is a good refresher course, and makes one think about what one does.
I had a dinner at an upscale restaurant with some distant relatives recently…the gentleman who invited me and was clearly the host said right off the bat: “We have only one rule at dinner: THE SKY IS THE LIMIT” and we all ordered fantastic meals and drinks and he paid the check.
Not saying everyone can or should do this, but the fact that he made it clear that he actively wanted us to go all out and enjoy ourselves really brushed away any awkwardness and set the right tone.
Gracious host for sure but still use some discretion.
@@psidvicious I’m a cheap date by nature so that tends to keep me in check 😂
One assumes this is a training video for upcoming chimpanzees.
That’s how I try to be as well. I recently took my sister and my girlfriend out to eat and both occasions I let them know to order whatever- I didn’t want them to have to worry about how much the check was, but for them to just enjoy their evening.
Took my wife, daughter and grandaughter out for a meal which we all thoroughly enjoyed.
$400.......
Very good instructional video! I think many young men would benefit from watching this. Fortunately, my Dad taught me most of these rules, and I in turn showed my son. Being from the U.S., I wasn't aware of the bread/butter situation. Now I know. Thank you!
Most fancy restaurants in the U.S. put out warm rolls. It forces you to cut it in half and butter one side of the roll at a time. It also allows you to eat one half of a roll at a time instead of cutting large single slices into bite size morsels.
Cut a piece of meat, eat it. Cut another, eat that and so on. Don’t cut a big slab of meat into numerous pieces then eat them all. Cut, chew, converse, repeat. Take a taste of your drink, other dinner items. Take your time. Enjoy the company, the scenery,the ambiance,the conversation. Keep the bites small enough you don’t have to chew it like a horse chewing its cud.
Horses don’t chew the cud!
I would love to see more etiquette content. Keep up the good work inspiring a new generation of gentlemen!
Thank you, sir
We can hope.🇬🇧🇬🇧
always consider there is a difference between "form" and "formal",,,
A big one for me is being indecisive over ordering and holding the waiter and everyone else up. It is fine to ask the waiter to clarify between two choices but then make a choice.
Wow! What a fabulous and appropriate video. This video should be required watching for everyone. I can’t tell you how many times I have been grossed out by someone with poor manners and etiquette. There is nothing more attractive than a polished man or woman who carries themselves in a graceful manner and thinks of others first. Well done! More of these types of videos please. Thank you!
I especially like your advice to rise from one's seat when greeting those arriving to dine. A very elegant gesture!
Rarely if ever done in this day and age.
That goes for any occasion, not just for dining. When someone approaches you for a greeting, you should rise to greet them. Male or female, doesn't matter.
You are absolutely correct. @@BillSmith-rx9rm
@@sarahschmidt4177 and something else that goes along with this, a man should never offer a lady his hand for a handshake. He should always wait for the lady to extend her hand to make the offer first.
You are absolutely correct, again. I have so taught my sons. @@BillSmith-rx9rm
Thank you for mentioning mistake 5, biting in your bread. I see that so often when in a business dinner. It always shows that someone doesn’t know dining etiquette.
It’s amazing how guys worry about things that women don’t care about, but things they do never seem to cross their mind
Polite, manners, even just shined shoes…taking care of all details put you in a great light & none cost a penny or any real effort
The part about generous Tip is important. I have witnessed Australians not tipping and proudly joking they do not need to pay for the servers lack of higher education to get a better job. In reality in Canada, the mayority of those working in the service industry are also University students supporting themselves while paying for expensive tuitions and high cost of living. The irony is that many become doctors and will be treating those same rude customers asking for help.
That snotiness I would confront INSTANTLY. Since I was a bartender in college, besides the general dickheadedness...
@@grumblesa10 I agree...but ity was too late, I was just another customer. I did confront them, that is when they said the magical words.
Well mate, we pay people decent wages in Australia. Tips are not as prevalent as they are in the USA.
Tips is a very North American thing. Don't try to tip in Japan, please
@@dmitripogosian5084 Is it considered an insult?
One of my pet peeves is when a group gets sat at the table and immediately engage in conversation instead of looking at the drink menu or appetizers. It makes the server have to comeback to your table again because people should be ready to order drinks but instead they are talking and not looking at the menu.
My pet peeve is using sat instead of seated !!!
Hello!
Young gentleman from Brazil here. You could make a video on your approach to what I perceive to be big no's for gentlemen, which are things such as drinking from straws, &c. All the best luck. Really fond of your videos. Keep it up!
Thank you for your comment and suggestion, sir
Pp0
Dining at a hotel restaurant in the UK, the food was way below the standard expected, so I politely made a complaint. The restaurant manager came over to understand what was wrong, and I went into detail so much that she sat down and wrote everything down. After me totally picking the meal apart, she offered me a job as the head chef, mistakenly believing I was a chef.
Oh, the perils of watching too much Gordon Ramsey...
That’s actually a funny story hahaha good one.
Did you call her a donkey and tell her to shut it down ?
Too funny but you were honestly able to critique and justify the concerns that were valid.
Not sure about the standard of hotel restaurant if the manager actually SAT down with you.........
Also pretty poor if they couldn't see any faults themselves so yes, good funny story but never happened.
Ex UK hotel, banqueting and restaurant waiter of twenty years experience and I might add that much to my wife's annoyance, I criticise service etc when dining out but it's usually basic service issues that I pick up on which should be taught from the start regardless of whether it's a cafe or a five star restaurant. Food problems are dealt with depending on how much you are paying.......
American issues I often see are clearing individual plates before the whole table is finished leaving the slowest eater all alone with their food then compounding this by also removing all the napkins before serving desert.
Pouring huge glasses of wine whereby a whole bottle is emptied into four glasses. Better to pour smaller amounts leaving the rest to chill on ice.
Thinking it's alright to serve lukewarm white wine, then getting upset when being told to take it back and asking for a cold bottle.
Out for a meal in a smart New York restaurant where all the staff wore black tie and suits, looking super efficient. One of them took so long trying unsuccessfully to open a bottle of sparkling wine that I asked him to let me show him the proper technique as I'd done it literally hundreds of times. Opened it for him and put it into the ice bucket but must have upset his ego as he walked away without a thankyou or actually pouring it!
Probably unable to serve it properly either but certainly not a funny story.......
Noc8076: Yeah sure.
RUclips's algorithm brought this video to my attention. Great video, btw. While in Spain (and anywhere else) it is good form to keep BOTH hands always visible above the top of the table. Always elbows off, and both hands as to show your host/person of interest (as from long ago) you have no weapon. And in Spain you won't almost ever get a "bread" plate. That is the job of the table, lol.
The fact that this video needed to be produced frightens me to no end......Man up Gen Z!
Oh honey I’m 63 years old and grew up around upper middle and seriously upper class people who didn’t understand these simple things. Treating everyone around you respectfully was a real tell.
I don't see myself ever eating at a high end restaurant.
@@RolandoMartinez-bp1oxwhy not ..by choice? You might be missing something in the experience.
Well, before anything can be known, it must be taught at least once. This video is simply one way to do such teaching.
Of course, such a pragmatic understanding would prevent you from jumping to making a snarky, superficial comment for equally cheap "likes", so, it is quite understandable that you would take it this way.
The only thing frightening is the fact that some people are actually so fucking offended by whether someone, say, has a hat on while eating or not. Save your outrage for things that actually matter.
I especially enjoyed the comment regarding the bread. I am 77 years old and I was told this by my father approximately 60 years ago. Apparently in the 1930s, when one went out to dinner it was standard form in America to break apart the bread and then butter and eat it …..when my father made the faux pas of breaking the bread in half and buttering it , he was given rather stern looks by those that were attending the college dance. He taught me that lesson over 60 years ago and I’ve always tried to follow it.
To go one step further: Whilst dining at the US's very high class restaurant: "Outback", they give you a full loaf of bread to share. Instead of grabbing the loaf by the large side, sawing through a piece, then grabbing the piece- so as to have handled the entire loaf with your hand, but then grabbing the small section you cut to eat: Grab the side of bread that you're cutting off and are going to eat, and take the section you cut off with you. That way your paws aren't contaminating the rest of the loaf!
@@stargazer2504 Usually loaf style bread will come wrapped in a cloth tea towel. It is acceptable to stabilize the bread while cutting, with your hand, using the towel.
@@psidvicious Outback doesn't have tea towels bro... It comes bare on a wood cutting board.😆
@@stargazer2504 So use your napkin to grasp the loaf or better yet ask the waiter for an extra.
Tear the bread!
I met my wife at a restaurant and I was already seated. When she arrived, I stood up and greeted her with hug and a kiss. She was so happy and later on that evening she “thanked” me for it in many ways. She said it was sweet and made her feel appreciated.
Good point, if the other person is super late and doesn't communicate, it's very annoying but I guess the only thing to do is shrug it off.
Great video. I’d add to always place a napkin on one’s lap after ordering, go easy with any alcohol, and pace oneself to finish the entire meal ordered. That means don’t fill up on bread, as delicious as it may be, then embarrass others by wasting food or asking for a ‘doggie bag’ at the end. Until the dining is over, don’t rest one’s forearms or elbows on the table. If someone else is paying for the dinner and the relationship is professional, family, or platonic, still ask if you can leave the tip. In addition to proper diner etiquette, I’ve many peeves about today’s declining state of serving. 1. Always set a complete table, with fork, knife, and SPOON, a large spoon for any long pasta, and water glasses. 2. As a waitstaff, never say, “no problem” to a guest. 3. Never chew gum! 4. Make cordial eye contact. 5. Pick up and replace anything that falls off a table or lap. 6. Never stick your fingers in glasses or stack plates when clearing. 7. Never start removing dishes until EVERYONE is done eating. 8. Minimize noise when clearing. 9. Never huddle offside in deep conversation with other waitstaff.
Curious @s to the r3 as on why stacking plates when clearing is not ok with you. What do you do instead?
@@amazinggrace5692 Fine diners shouldn’t have to see how the sausage is cleared, aka cleanup. Plates should be removed with the same reverence they were delivered - silently and individually. To remove, waitstaff should either carry several plates away using both hands or better, use a tray to remove more. Even then, they shouldn’t be stacked.
69 yr old here and I was taught many, but not all, of these style points, years ago by my older brother. They helped me enjoy the upper tier restaurant meetings I had with many superiors in the US and then doubled my appreciation as I traveled abroad. So easy to apply to life and definitely makes all experiences encountered much more enjoyable.
And surprisingly, things you do and how you act in a restaurant, carry over into all areas of your life.
Thank you for your video!
My mother taught us restaurant etiquette at a young age. We practiced during regular meals at home before we were allowed to enter a fine restaurant. I will never forget her showing me the difference in how to hold and use a spoon, when eating soup or a dessert like crème brûlée.
It all sounds good except for the bread/butter rule. Some of us take our dates to breakfast or dine at fancy places that serve breakfast. The only exception to the "break and butter a bite-sized piece" rule is toast at breakfast time. Modern etiquette says that the entire slice of toast may be buttered and eaten without breaking it apart.(Maggie Oldham, Modern Etiquette Coach.)
Yeah, you want to butter your toast while it is still hot/warm. This is unlike in Europe where the bread is so tasty and rich it doesn't even need butter.
Mind, the toast at breakfast is typically consumed in one go, as the main "dish" of the "course", whereas the bread on the side here is a snack, a palate cleanser, that could sit indeed for a substantial time between actual bites during which its sight may displease.
Each of those may seem to be obvious to many, but they’re not to everyone. This was an excellent tutorial (or reminder) to anyone who appreciates the company of others in a shared meal. And from my perspective, your delivery and level of detail were spot-on.
While dining out with relatives in Germany I was informed that I should always keep my hands on the table. That surprised me.
Just in the US you're hiding hands .....
Where were you eating--the Mos Eisly Cantina, with Han Solo and Greebo?
In Europe there are different table eticett rules ….
@@johnphillips9091 There used to be table rules ......nowadays .......all got "Americanised" (movies ), Ghetto-cultured . Lot's of new rich coming from a very very modest "background" started pushing misbehave thanks to the money . I'm not religious but the bible said " A hog with golden ring in the nose remains a hog" (hard to say it better !)
When I was young, I was told to always stand when a woman comes to, or leaves, her seat at the table.
I hope this is still considered gentlemanly
Restaurant Etiquette Mistakes a Gentleman Never Makes
1. Make a reservation
2. Be on time - 15 min buffer
3. Standing up to meet your guests when they arrive
4. Make a compliment
5. Buttering your whole piece of bread - tear off a bite size piece of bread, butter, then eat
6. Being rude to waiter or waitress - be kind - generous tip
7. Order a manageable meal - no onion soup - don't order most expensive if not paying
8. No phone - mostly
Thank you.
Allow your guests to sit first.
Don't hide behind the menu.
Don't order until all the women have ordered.
Napkin goes on your lap and not until you start eating.
Keep your eyes on whomever is speaking, looking at your plate just long enough to start your next bite.
Don't be the first to finish eating.
The bread-buttering thing is nonsense. The rest seem sound enough.
so nobody finish to eating. Than will be funny @@redswingline262
*When making the reservation, always address any special needs of the attendees-mobility issues, Braille menus, etc. - making sure your guests will be comfortable and without issues.
*Don't chew your food with your mouth open.
*Know how to deal with bones or other inedible materials which may be used on the plate (i.e., toothpicks holding a lemon slice on fish). Don't just throw them on the table.
*Keep your voice at a polite & respectful volume. The people at the next table don't want to hear about Grannie's new dentures.
*Keep topics of conversation appropriate for mealtime and appropriate for the guests (age, relationship to you, location, etc.)
My then-husband went out to a nice restaurant. My husband was following the server, who said sotto voce "let the lady have the view".
My then-husband thought that was so cool. I was amazed that it was something that had to be told to him.
Never fear, he didn't learn a thing from the encounter.
When on a date, I always gave the lady choice of seat and claimed that sitting opposite her gave me the best view anyway.
Smooth!
Funny dining etiquette situation.1969 I'm eating at a nice steakhouse in Sydney. I'm eating my steak the American way, fork left hand then switching to right hand after carving then bringing to mouth (agree that it's a lot of work) then a well dressed gentleman stopped at my table and, upon observing my gymnastics, announced to the restaurant loudly "Oi everyone, come see the bloke eat" .
What at rude man. Astonishing 😮
I love the comment about the bread. So true!,
Men need to show up in something presentable. One of those fleece jackets is gross
Table manners are a must.
I was dining with a woman and the busboy showed up. He re-filled our water glasses and I looked him in the face and said, "Thank you." She smiled at him, too.
If she didn't acknowledge that man, it would have been our last date. It wasn't.
THAT is a great way to determine a person's character...
so many hyper judgemental people over the most trivial of things.
It is so refreshing to see this. I have been to a number of business, social and date dinners and what you have shared is spot on. I am glad to see that chivalry (so to speak) has not died! Thank you!
You're wearing that item that looks good on everyone. It's a great smile!
As a confirmed “sinner,” please more etiquette!😮
Really love to see more etiquette video. This is something we can't learn from textbook, and based purely on our observations and awareness.
Looking forward to your upcoming videos.
Thank you very much, more to come
Excellent video. All good points, especially the one about treating the wait staff. Fortunately I've never witnessed a fellow diner mistreat the staff. That is the worst thing anyone could do.
I totally agree with three things in this video: punctuality, standing up to greet people, and the cellphone thing. Another copule of things I might add: don't get smashed during the meal, and don't gaze down your female dining partner's cleavage, no matter how enticing.
The bread rule is American, too, even if most people haven’t heard of it. It’s in Emily Post and all the other American etiquette books.
As a 62-year-old gentleman, I appreciate your channel. A couple of tips 1) If on a date let your date follow the waiter and gently touch/nudge her lower back 2) pull her chair out so she can sit. This a lost piece of etiquette, I do this all the time, one time my date was impressed, she said you are the first man who has ever done that. LOL. Notice I said nudge not her butt and not her shoulders, lower back. You are welcome.
Both excellent suggestions. I will do a video more specifically on first date etiquette soon and will be sure to include these
@@Gent.Z Good job on bringing back gentlemen behavior and style!! Keep up the content. My son asked me why I walk on the street side when I walk with a woman, I said to protect her if a car comes, his response: oh hell no, LOL. Thought you might get a kick out of that.
@@2815marionwood Actually that dates back to the 19th century and before, when few houses in the city had "indoor plumbing". People kept chamber pots in bedrooms with a little bit of water in them. When the call of nature came, you went to the bed room, pissed in the chamber pot, then threw it out the window.
In cities this happened on a continuous basis all day long. The piss water always tended to hit the outer part of the sidewalk. So when a man and woman walked down the street it was considered gallant for the man to take the piss and let the women be more shielded from it. Another reason ladies walked with parasols and men wore hats.
@@RaptorFromWeegee Thank you Raptor! I got to get a hat!
Please be careful with this, and watch your date for evidence that she is uncomfortable with this level of courtly behavior on a first date.
I am a bit older than the O.P., but I don't care for uninvited touching. I'm fine with having doors opened for me, but I don't need to be "nudged" to follow a waiter to my table, unless the dining room is extremely crowded. If touched, I'll probably unconsciously flinch a little ... I would expect a date to notice that and back off.
This is especially important with younger people, especially those who feel consent is necessary for any and all romantic communication / touch. You don't need to explicitly ask, just watch body language. For example, I'd tell my 23 year old son to "help her if she seems to need guidance, but don't be pushy."
Finally, this is most important for a first date. Once we know each other better, we will know each other's limits and how to get closer.
I so pleased to see someone teaching our young men how to behave well. Unfortunaltely some parents have not done the job and it is lovely for them to have a mentor to navigate this world. Thank you.
As an older gentleman myself, I would like to add table manners to the conversation. Nothing measures a man like good table manners. I believe them to be an essential building block of good etiquette. Gripping utensils like a primate or stuffing oversized helpings into your mouth says volumes. Measured bites allow you to stay engaged in the conversation while savoring every bite of your meal. Remember, people watch and people see, they will recognize both sloth and gluttony.
Lovely rhyme at the end. Was it intentional?
Brilliant. Thank you for the gentle reminders.
The cellphone rule is a deal beaker for me. You asked me out for dinner, not your phone. You aren't making your date feel welcome or special by doing that. I'll stay, I'll be gracious and I'll enjoy the food but I won't be going out with you again. And take your hat off, we're not eating hot dogs in the bleachers at a baseball game.
When my younger family members are invited to my home for a meal I have to insist that the young man remove his baseball cap at the table, and that they both leave their phones on the coffee table in the other room. This is taken badly, but my house, my rules. They simply do not see it as bad manners, so far have standards fallen. We have all seen cartoons -- and even photographs -- of a group out n a restaurant with every single member of the party staring at their phones. I find it appalling.
@@VLind-uk6mb It is appalling. I've had arguments with people over whether or not certain actions, wearing a hat to a table, fixated on your phone, holding your fork like a shovel, wearing jeans and t-shirts at a wedding or funeral etc. were bad manners. I'd show them articles on the internet that explained that these actions were crude. And their rebuttal? "Well, that was a different time. Things change, styles of dress, language and social norms like manners all change".
"Fair enough" I said. "So what is considered to be bad manners at this time?" And they couldn't tell me! So apparently anything you wish to do in public is fine and it's your problem if it upsets you. I saw a video recently where a fourteen year old kid was filming himself walking past diners eating at tables on the sidewalk at a bistro. He'd randomly grab food off of their plates and eat it hoping for a reaction so he could post the drama on a social media site for clicks. One woman was outraged and told the kid and his partner never to touch her food again. He told her using colorful expletives to go away and get over it. And when her posted the footage the people seeing it commented that HER actions were unwarranted!. This is the world we live in today. The internet has ruined society.
@@toshikotanaka3249 No argument here.
I only bring my phone if I need it to arrange the reservation or to pay by phone,otherwise it's in my pocket .if I am a guest I just leave it in the car
@@michaelmerck7576 I'm going to guess that you're over 35, because no one under that age, in my experience, has ever done that.
Yes, excellent advice, one can only hope that those who need to, actually watch it.
But great to see a younger guy offering good taste and manners.
Excellent suggestions, all. As an aging boomer, it makes me very happy to see a young gentleman pointing these things out; it gives me renewed hope for the world my sons have inherited. I've always observed those points of etiquette, even the bread and butter one, although I've never really thought about the reasons you give for doing it. I take a piece of bread onto my plate and break off bite-size bits, because it always seems a bit neater to do it that way; crumbs go into the plate, not down the front of my shirt. I seldom use the butter, but if I do, I butter only the piece I'm about to eat. It's nice to learn that that's actually an important piece of etiquette in Europe. Best of luck and keep up the good work.
Well said! You failed to mention the most common dining faux pas, though: Anyone speaking with a mouth is full of food.
If you are asking that special person out to dinner and maybe the theater it used to be common for high end restaurants to have a lady's menu. A lady's menu has no pricing. If you suggest a high end eatery and can handle the bill go for it. Phone first and see if they have such a menu (not many do these days). A little extra to impress the lady. I have suggested this to several restaurants.
Holy crap. Have any "ladies" castrated you for this yet? LOL Actually, its kind of a nice idea but might be better called a "guest" menu so that ones guests are comfortable ordering whatever might appeal to them.
I remember Ladies menu's in my parent's time of life. I am 69, so that was back in the 60's...
@@deeza3384 glad you ended up together. I hope you waited until you were married to bring up the price of the caviar I am sure it was nice :-)
As a woman, I absolutely hate "lady's menus". I sometimes wish to dine alone, and to come back and find that the nice but nothing special dish I ate last time was way over price? No. And it is an insult to me that I am kept in the dark.
@@rockcat5000 I was wondering a ladies menu might be a bit condecending as well. Are these menues still a thing in 2024?
I’d add to the one about what to order in relation to who is paying as follows. If you are paying try not to order the cheapest items as this may pressure your guests to do the same. If someone else is paying I try to follow the file of ordering items from the lower priced half of any listed choices.
As for dessert, if I’m paying I may order one even if I’m not interested so guests feel they may dis so also if they choose. The exception is if I sense that there is a time constraint on a guest or guests.
Thank you for being such a gentleman!
Also - take a bath before you go, use deodorant and shave, don't burp, fart, laugh too loudly, argue with the next table, eat peas with a knife, throw the bones over your shoulder, sneeze on your plate and wipe it dry with your sleeve, shout at the waiter, demand a free meal, call the chef names, insult the manager, drink the whole bottle of expensive wine all by yourself, dance on the table, lick your plate clean, slip out the door without paying the bill - and then wonder why nobody else wants you to eat out with them again next week.
😂
I agree with you 100%, with the small exception of a nice, loud, fluttering fart or plurping flatulence.
I'm relieved - I sometimes think I'm the only person left who breaks off individual pieces of bread and buttering them separately. NO ONE else seems to do this EVER.
Because it's dumb. No one cares.
@kristaferailslieger4906 I am a crude and disgusting man. I pick my nose at the dinner table and use my fork as a back scratcher. Do people care? Probably. But I do also wear a tie, put my napkin on my lap, scoop my soup away from me, and butter my bread in individual pieces, in a crude approximation to the way I was brought up.
@@probro9898 Good for you.
@@kristaferailslieger4906 I'll say! 😊
@@kristaferailslieger4906 Manners mayketh man!
Hi there
Ravi from New Zealand
Thank you for this clip, I was brought up in this line of etiquette. I try to teach our ( grown up) children from a young age on these important unwritten rules!
I am so glad your "proper" guidelines are not old fashioned these days.
Please carry on utube series.
Excellent!
Great advice. Dining out is to some degree an intimate and shared experience. Make it memorable for all the right reasons. Thank you for sharing. Subbed.
The gentleman asks the lady what she’ll be having, remembers what she says, and then places the order with the waiter by saying, “The lady will have blah, blah, blah.” Give her order before you give your own.
If my male dining companion did that it would be the last time I saw him! I am perfectly capable of ordering my own food, thank you very much! I do not see it as a politeness, but as a way to remind me that I am a silly, brainless female, who can’t even order her own food correctly! This is not 1894!
Very considerate.
T Y Sir. Yes more etiquette content please.Basic and simple, build the foundation first.
Sounds like a plan, thank you
Everything you've said makes perfect common sense. The best part, the part I didn't know, was about the buttered bread. Thank you for bringing that up. As I've not been to Europe but plan to go very soon. I will remember that.
Thank you for tip # 5. As someone who defers to continental dining style with regards to the use the knife & fork I'm embarrassed at my ignorance regarding dinner. And after hearing your explanation it makes complete sense. Lesson learned. Many thanks.
Definitely want more videos like this!
let’s appreciate that bro keeps putting out banger after banger 💪
Appreciate that
Great video, and -- as someone who has attended business dinners for nearly 30 years now -- I agree with all your points.
Beyond that, you may want to do a video (if you haven't already) on basic etiquette. Some 60 years ago, when I was in elementary school, my mom signed me up for a series of after-school classes covering just that. As a shy geeky kid, I found it gave me added confidence in social situations.Kibd if like the typing class I took in high school, those etiquette lessons have proved useful my entire life.
Many thanks for the tips. Will definately be implementing them.
Cheers
Sir, these are basic things people used to be taught at home and didn’t need a youtube channel explaining it. Very well presented.
A few things I would add are:
1) Stand when a lady gets up to leave the table or arrives at the table and pull the chair out as a courtesy of respect
2). Also out of respect, never shake a lady’s hand unless she offers it.
3). Your utensils should be used appropriately. Salad fork is for salad, larger main course fork is for that, etc. Fork on the left, knife on the right, etc. The arrangement of the utensils are start from the outside and work your way in. And do not play with your utensils in any way.
4) Don’t wad your napkin up at the end of the meal and toss it in the plate. I fold my napkin slightly and slip it under the rim of the plate.
5). Don’t talk with your mouth full
6). Don’t talk as if you want the entire restaurant to hear your conversation. Talk in a low polite tone.
7). (This may be more of an American etiquette rule except for maybe the northeastern states) but don’t eat with the back of your fork. Turn your fork upright when it’s time to take a bite. Using the back of your fork looks common and as though you are in a hurry.
8). Do these things not just for public image, but from the heart. That way, they will come naturally and show that you sincerely care about those around you as well as how you present yourself.
9). If somebody is not practicing one or any of these things, do not point it out to them (unless they ask why you do what you do. And explain gracefully). Allow other people their mistakes as you’d hope they’d overlook yours.
#9 👍
As a UK resident, I cringe when when observing Americans at a dining table. The dish arrives, they cut it all up into bite sized pieces before dumping their knife and using the fork as a food scoop!
@@fabianmckenna8197 Well, I can’t speak for every American of course, as table manners almost have no meaning anymore among so many people. But where I come from, cutting your main dish up into pieces (meat, steak, chicken, ham, etc) and discarding the knife is bad manners unless you are doing on behalf of a small child or a handicap person that has trouble handling utensils. The only time you scoop with your fork is with side items suited for it like English Peas, Beans, Corn, etc. Everything else (main dish, salad, etc), you turn fork upright and use the prongs to impale the cut bite one at a time after each cut. AND you never use your fork to cut either.
Chopsticks.
@@Forestier1 Ahh. Chopsticks. Being a Westerner, I usually forgo chopsticks at Chinese and Japanese restaurants and use western utensils except for occasional fun for the experience (frankly most Chinese Americans and their children I know for go chopsticks too considering them obsolete. The only people in the West I see using chopsticks are fictional police detectives on TV poking them in a white box of...something at their desk while they talk with their mouth full about the case they are working on.). Most people, including my wife, don’t know how to hold them. I know how to handle them (basically if you understand it’s like holding two pencils, you can figure out the proper hold and movement pretty quick from there with your index finger doing all the work. A cursory look online a few years ago told me there is etiquette to using chopsticks in Eastern countries varying slightly from one country to the next. Poking or stabbing food trying to improvise as a fork is considered rude. Proper placement on meal completion is important too. All I recall is that you place them in the plate side by side if you are satisfied with the meal not back on the table and not crossing each other. And that’s all I personally know of chopsticks.
Thanks for the bread advise, I was unaware it was an issue in Europe
Fine, informative video essay. Thanks! Some points I was aware of but bear repeating and reminding nonetheless. The thing about the bread I’d never thought about - your point is well taken!
Excellent tutorial in a brief video. I agree with the British way of eating bread. I always give a generous tip because being a waiter/waitress is a very demanding job.
Note to women: How the man treats a waitress/waiter is how he WILL treat you. This is your chance to see the REAL person.
If he is rude to the waitress/waiter, LEAVE, call an Uber and never speak to him again. Likewise, if he drives you to the restaurant and drives recklessly, get out of the car at a stoplight, call an Uber and never speak to him again. DO NOT answer calls or texts, block him from your contacts.
You dodged a bullet!
Excellent Comment! Astute and very true.
I also love 45 ACP!
Also, a man who was a dear friend of mine whose mother was a child psychologist said the most important question you can ask on a first date is: What is your relationship with your parent of the opposite sex. In other words, if you're a woman, how is your relationship with your dad? If you're a guy, how is the relationship with your mom?
He said he dodged many a bullet with that question..
Unfortunately many of my sisters have a victim mentality and think that they can "change" a man..
I have news for you:
YOU CAN'T.
@@nancyoffenhiser4916 No, you can't. It's like trying to teach a pig to sing. It just annoys the pig.
And a man can't change a woman. I never imagined why you would want to. If you aren't compatible with someone, move along. You'll both be happier.
#3 is actually wrong all the time. You should never greet anyone sitting down, it comes across as being superior to the other person. If you are the don, that’s OK, but that’s hardly ever the case.
Always when a woman approaches. Any setting.
Very helpful. Thank you. I will look out for the bread one: I enjoyed this and your pace: 8 in 8 minutes seems perfect and they are all important: For example, asking how the wait staff of their night. Thanks again.
Excellent. Good job. We need more people that follow these simple yet important guidelines.
That one about the bread is something I never thought of.
How is the torn bread any different from bread with a bite out of it…. Don’t get me wrong, I agree 100% with everything else he said. But the bread thing is a little much, especially coming from a country thats just barely figured out the toothbrush….
@@MDC_1985It’s a bit of a psychological thing really, but; The offense being taken is that you are putting food that has at least partially been in your mouth already and putting it back on the plate.
Thank God he didn't say anything about blowing bubbles in my milk, I was kinda worried.
This was a very informative video. Thanks very much for posting.
Thank you for your post! Its always good to get some reminders on etiquette now and then!
I once chose an upscale steakhouse (that had a clear dress code) and was unhappy with a man in a tee-shirt and the ubiquitous backwards baseball cap sitting at a table nearby. Although I did not raise a complaint during our dinner, I made sure that the Maitre D heard me out as we departed the restaurant.