Talking insomnia #41: Michelle thought something was PHYSICALLY wrong... now she sleeps well!
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- Michelle went down the cliff after coming off a medication 5 years ago. Having climbed back to the edge, living in a state of constant anxiety, something remarkable happened. She randomly stumbled across a video from this channel and heard that "many things can cause disrupted sleep, but only how you think of them can cause insomnia". In that moment, she knew she would be a normal sleeper again.
In this video she shares her journey from a life of fear, to a life of freedom. 
Развлечения
Would you like to work with Michelle as your sleep coach? If so, it is possible!
Head over to www.hopefulmind.com
Best!
The moment she said 'panic even though I was mentally calm' is what makes this relatable for so many.
I had a night of no sleep two nights ago and all day yesterday I was so out of it and in the past this would start a cycle. The fear all day of not sleeping that night. But breaking it down about what the fear actually is and how it's just another anxiety symptom really made sense to me. I managed to get good sleep last night and today I feel so much better knowing that there is absolutely nothing to fear. Nothing is wrong with me, I'm not sick, being tired is okay, and it's just anxiety. Thank you so much. Tossing and turning for hours on end because of tension is so awful. I hope anyone out there who has insomnia and anxiety can benefit from these videos. You are NOT sick!
So so glad you came across this video and are seeing things so clearly 😊 and yes, knowing nothing is wrong - such a relief. Thanks for sharing!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Except last night I didn't sleep again lol. So I went from none to great sleep back to none. I already can feel this cycle starting again. I've had this happen before in the past. The fear of not being able to sleep at night.
Oh man! Sorry but - know that this is so so normal and typical. Check the speed bump playlist, link in the description, that can really clarify why it can be a bumpy road back to peaceful sleep 🙂
How are you doing
I’m only able to sleep every other night.
This video helps me all over again every time I watch it. Thank you for sharing Michelle!
So incredibly helpful! I could relate to her story so much. I didn't deal with the symptoms for nearly as long, but I dealt with the same symptoms to the point where I looked at it on a physical/neurological level. I was convinced that something was wrong with my brain, and at times I still have that fear because it is so deeply ingrained, but I've been doing so much better with help from your course and your videos!
Nothing I think helps more, especially with hope, than to hear from someone who’s taken the journey! Thanks for all the support and I’m super happy to read that you’ve done so much better 😁!!
Coach Daniel- I remember being triggered by you when I was going through insomnia deeply a while back and so I would avoid all of your stuff. Until recently. I realized whatever you had said had challenged my sense of control over this issue And it wasn't until I was ready to release control that you were helpful beyond measure!
Thanks for being in touch and - so glad you found what we teach helpful 😊! It’s so often just a matter of timing, but once we see, what we find we don’t unsee!
Thanks for sharing, Michelle! I had the exact same experience when I found this channel. After watching the first few videos and reading some of the comments I felt that I never would have to be afraid of my insomnia again. Just learning that everything I was experiencing was not unique, learning about hyperarousal, and why sleep hygiene was ineffective, I felt so much more empowered and hopeful. After my first bout of insomnia ended a year ago, I was in constant fear every day that it was going to come back, until it inevitably did. I feel so thankful I found this channel because I know I will never have to have that fear again, because I'm learning not to fear wakefulness.
This should be in the hypnic jerks playlist, so helpful
Dun!
Can relate so much to her story! Truly an inspiration
So inspiring Michelle. I have a good feeling about what you have said here and the way you have said it. Thank you :)
Excellent! So nice for Michelle to share her story....
I’m so grateful because nothing brings more hope! Thanks Pat!!
What a powerful episode!
Glad you caught this one Hugo, like you say super powerful!
So happy to have found your channel
It’s been a great help
So happy on our end you did as well 😊! And thanks for sharing, the support means so much 🙏
Wow, this was so helpful. It describes my path almost exactly, except my trigger was the Covid vaccine rather than a medication. Just hearing this episode made an improvement in my sleep and allowed me to make peace with the internal tremors and sleep difficulties I've been experiencing the last two years.
So so glad you came across this Chris 😊
One of the best video so far... I'm so thankful I found this channel and little bit upset also that i didn't find this channel earlier when i was desperately seeking for help.. Thanks Daniel and team..
Ruben! I’m so happy you’re here now, and with time I hope more people will land here sooner.. and yes, what a powerful story!! Thanks for the support 👍👍
This helped me bucketloads in one Night
I had gotten so scared of not sleeping that I gave myself panic and anxiety every time I lay down. If I lay down at say, 11, it would be 4am before sleep came
Trying the whole talking to the symptoms I was feeling, reduced that in one Night to falling asleep at 1 am, and I got 7 hours that night
It sounds so weird, but it really did help me. Thanks for this. Glad I found your channel
Adam, so happy you found the channel! And sometimes it sounds kind of odd right but yes talking to the symptoms, that can really help, I love what Michelle said here about our thoughts want to be heard and emotions want to be felt!
i did this instinctively the other day and it truly worked that night. i said heart get louder, come on get loud. come on hypnotic jerks bring it on
This is the way
What I have been noticing and loving about these videos is that they are truthfull. People are telling that we probably will still have sleepless nights but we will be at peace.
Love this comment, thank you. The truth is a real thing.
This is a great help, I have never heard of other people having these ' over-aroused ', twitches, I find myself becoming really overtired, but then the moment I try to go to sleep naturally, my body and mind seem to go into scary spasms of twitching. Ive been trying self-medicate using alcohol at night, but this self-defeating regime never works, and only makes things worse. sometimes I just want to make it all stop, and to make it all go away, but it keeps on, and on, In the morning I am already dreading the next night of torture. It's horrible !
So so glad you found this Anton, and it can take some time but learning about our experiences, this really helps
This sounds just like I’m feeling. I’ve just had 3 nights of 0 hours sleep and my anxiety is sky high. Such an interesting video. Thank you I will download the book.
Hi Remy, sorry to hear what’s happening but it’s so good that you see that you’re not alone. And that with learning and education you’ll do well just like Michelle! Thanks for the support and please do stay in touch 😁
Such a useful video. Thank you for sharing your story Michelle! I can relate to all the hyper arousal stuff and twitches, jerks etc. Does anyone else find that sleep hygiene actually adds to their sleep anxiety? It got so ridiculous. I started all these rituals like no caffeine at all, no tv after 9pm, no going on my phone, no sugar after 2pm.... I even insisted on having the same pair of pyjamas every night and washing them frantically trying to dry them in time for that night. Just a couple of weeks after finding your videos I’m realising quite how crazy I let this get. It sort of took hold of my entire life so when I finally wanted to go to sleep, I was so damn aware and anxious it was never going to happen!
Abby thanks for the support! It’s so important to find that you are not alone and that you can relate. I was just now looking for a video I did something like six months ago but I finally realize that sleep hygiene was a really big problem!
Meaning, the implied message is that if you do all of these things, you’ll sleep more. Which just makes you more obsessed/controlling and you end up in more struggling!
I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with keeping your bedroom pretty dark or cool or whatever you like, but when anything is done to make sleep happen, it leads to rituals and fear!
Seeing this for what it is, I think that is really really important so I think this could be super helpful for you and anyone else who reads this important comment!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Yes I couldn’t agree more. Your channel has been super helpful at simplifying everything for me. As an over thinker I believe I have made the whole idea of sleep more complicated than it ever needed to be.
Just a week or so of your videos and I’ve got to a point of just not caring if I sleep or not. I have seen such a huge improvement. Not to my sleep at first but to my day times, no longer being filled with dread about the night time coming. It didn’t seem to matter as much, I was still functioning and not obsessed with the idea that I am going to be seriously ill and never sleep again.
Then gradually over the past (maybe 4 nights....I’ve stopped counting) I have definitely fallen asleep straight away and although I still wake up, I now just watch tv until I feel sleepy again (I know a lot of people really frown upon this but it stops me from feeling panicked) and I always then feel sleepy within an hour and can go back to sleep again.
Maybe not ideal for some people but it works for me and I’m so much happier. For me just having one wake up half way through the night is amazing. I used to take hours getting to sleep and would wake up 4-5 times a night every hour. Some nights having no sleep at all because I was just so worried about it.
I really feel like now I see the madness for what it was that hopefully I will never be in that desperate place again. Sure I will have ‘bad’ nights.... but that’s ok. I look forward to wakefulness now knowing I get to watch a bit of tv and do stuff I can’t do during the day when I’m busy. I’m done with sleep hygiene and all the stressful rituals!
This is it. The simple truth about sleep, it’s not complicated! And you know, there really isn’t anything that is ideal, at least not imho. Whatever makes life easy and without pressure, that’s a good path. This comment is very precious. Thanks a bunch and have a great weekend now!!
@@Fantabbydozy2608 hi, what happened with your jerks and twitches? How did you deal with it?
As many others have commented (see below) this interview was enormously helpful. Thanks to both coaches for their time and expertise! 🙏
Thank you for your heartfelt words! We want to assure you that your comments are seen and deeply appreciated. We're grateful that the message resonated with you and that it's contributing to a meaningful conversation. Your support means a lot, and we're glad it made sense to you. 💙
I had the same symptoms. This video helped me a lot. Last night I was able to fall asleep easier and did not have to get out of bed. Thank you 🙏
Very glad to read this!
And you know, when you sleep well after struggling some… it’s like a magical moment. Let me share some thoughts that I think can help here!
-
A magical moment is when you experience how sleeping well, like a rabbit out of the hat, comes from nothing!
It can be really surprising, especially if you’ve been trying hard to sleep (and perhaps thought that sometimes that worked!) to see that sleep comes from nothing.
It happens when there’s no effort and when we are ok with being awake. This last part can sound a little odd, but it’s really that way. If we aren’t willing at all to be awake, then we are trying to sleep, and sleep becomes a struggle. When we are ok with being awake, then we aren’t going to be trying to sleep, and sleep happens without struggle.
So a magical moment is so helpful because it truly shows us that sleep happens all by itself and the magic is inside you!
When you have a magical moment, there’s often a temptation to figure out why it happened and do it again. To recreate the magic if you will.
But when you do, you’re trying to make sleep happen, and then you’ll have some trouble! This is of course much easier said than done. In a way it’s almost impossible for the brain not to go “how did this happen, I need to figure the trick out!”, it automatically will probably try.
But it’s just very good to be aware because it makes the journey smoother. You can now go “aha brain, I see you’re trying to figure it out, and that’s because you love me, but sleep actually happens when we aren’t trying to figure it out.”
So just fully take advantage of seeing that magic literally comes out of nowhere. It was not something you did, but the absence of effort that made it happen!
This sets you on a very nice path of trying less and less and experiencing more and more magic!
-
Hope this helps and thanks so much for commenting!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you! Yes, exactly it is like the magical moment and it opened my eyes. I see now where I made the mistakes. It started with my sleep obsession and trying to control my sleep. Then I did all the wrong things (sleep hygiene, new pillows, sheets, eye masks, ear plugs, supplements, vitamines...). The more they were not working the more I became frustrated. I developed fear because of sleepless nights and felt uneasy around my bed. This channel helped me a lot. I threw away the supplements yesterday because they were not working anyways and slept the second night without my mask and earplugs. Still waking up but I am able to fall asleep faster and feel better. What helped me the most is not to look at the clock, realizing I am OK after difficult night and seeing I am not alone and this can be reversed. I ordered your book yesterday on Amazon :) Thank you again
So grateful to have this comment here TTB 🤗 It summarizes what happens to so so many and also what helps, like not knowing that time! Thanks for the support and for getting my book 🙏 Be well and stay in touch!!
Daniel.....That lady came across really well on how she applied the education and techniques to her sleep.
I think a lot of people will find this i/v very helpful.
I'm doing much better as well. Have not had a totally sleepless night (and i used to have lots of zero sleep nights) for maybe a month now. One or two nights of mediocre sleep ,but overall much much, much better.
Your advice about being okay with being awake in the night and not trying to avoid the wakefulness really helped amongst many other tips and advice.
Coach Michael also said in an earlier video that he often wakes up 20 times per night ,but does not react to it so it has no power. That comment of his helped me to come to terms with being awake as well ,and to not consider it to be highly unusual to be awake at night,some times on multiple occasions .I used to think grrrrrr !!!!! WTF i,m awake again but now that thought does not turn up. Thanks to you and Michelle for an informative i/v.
Beanburger, nice hearing from you again and, thanks for sharing this. These are the kinds of comments that are just golden!!
In case Michael hasn’t read this I’ll make sure he knows how helpful this teaching was to you.
It is so helpful to hear from someone like yourself that it truly does help when you no longer see being awake as something you have to fight.
Well done by the way, you wouldn’t have seen any improvement if you weren’t willing to do some learning and habit changes 👍
Thanks for all the support and I hope you have a super nice weekend!
Thanks Daniel . All the best.
Great video very relatable on how my insomnia started. However on going off sleep hygiene and herbal supplements and medication I had to do it all at once because if I didn’t I knew I would give in. No medical advice here just my personal experience. So I made the decision to just stop everything at once and that night something magical happened I slept just fine and boom I seen the light, my sleep confidence blossomed once again . Great great video!
Malena! Thanks much for the support and for sharing. And you know, it’s like Namitha said, if someone afraid of driving the highway is ready; then maybe they just need to go drive the highway! But another person maybe should start with just imagining driving on the highway. Whatever path is the one of least pressure and feels the most doable, that’s the way! Any way that leads not freedom and non-attachment is great.
Have a nice weekend now and talk soon!!
Thank you so much for this video! Helps give me so much hope. Makes me feel I am not too far gone. Hyper arousal is so huge for me. Will I find more understanding of this and more suggestions for how to deal with that in an effective way in your book? I love your videos. Thank you.
Anytime Monica!! It’s so important to see that many many have gone from where you were to not struggling. There’s nothing in the book that I haven’t talked about on the channel, but it’s curated, it’s laid out in a logical way... so if you like learning by reading and have things more laid out, it can help! By the way, the sleep book and the effortless sleep method are fantastic books that may also be really helpful 👍
I do feel that welcoming in the thought part of anxiety is something that needs to be done carefully, such as initial recognition, maybe a sense of welcoming but then laying it gently aside -maybe saying I've heard you, thanks for letting me know - because engagement can lead often straight into rumination and go on and on and round and round.
-apols -I realize Michelle does go on to explain -it is feeling the anxiety that comes with the thought, that allows it to pass without heading on into rumination 💛
This is the way 😊
Another amazing episode. Slowly learning, and understanding as the days go by. Where can I find your book @SleepCoachSchool?
So glad you’re here 🙂And you can find them on Amazon
Daniel, thanks so much for having me! It was great chatting with you yesterday. I hope it helps other who are struggling know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
This was suuper helpful Michelle!! It will bring much hope to lots of people... be well now and be in touch 👍👍
Michelle thank you so much for sharing your story, so much of what you've said is relatable. Particularly the point on jerks and the calm mind racing body.
Can I ask did you ever face nights with _no_ sleep and if so how did you handle or comeback from that without using meds?
@@TWRehab Hi KB, yes I had definitely had phases of my insomnia where I had many many nights with no sleep - often back to back. I would sometimes go through cycles where I would not sleep for 2-3 nights in a row and then crash and sleep 9-10 hours and then repeat the cycle. For me, a lot of the time, the less sleep I got meant I would get less sleep the following night as opposed to more sleep because my hyper-arousal would get higher and higher, so my extra sleep drive would be overrided by this. I experienced this pattern over several years. As this was before I found Daniel & this channel, if I'm being honest I did not handle these cycles of zero sleep well at all. I had a lot of mental & emotional breakdowns during this time and throughout my insomnia struggle. I cannot even say that I really handled them - in reality I feel like I just survived them because I had no choice other than to survive them. But there were many times I did not think I would. This is what it felt like at the time. Things changed once I found the right information and I was able to understand what was happening and what I could do about it. Daniel's book & channel was a huge part of this!!!
@@michelleweil6672 Thank you so much again. Having listened to the conversation here and your story I just had a 'decent' nights sleep for the first time in a week. Im aware it will come and go but knowing _what's happening_ has been amazing. I can now focus on dealing with hyperarousal. Thank you.
@@TWRehab how are you working on hyperarousal. Please help
Just got this from your link on the email. I hope coach Michelle does well. There is a massive shortage of coaches for sleeping problems. Plenty of everything else though.
Oh yes hi Sean! Thanks for checking the email and this video. She’s brilliant and yes, so much work needed bere!
10:55 great talk about hyperarousal. She had it worse than what I have right now, but that's how I feel when my insomnia comes on at night. I feel calm, but still can't fall asleep. Was she talking about your book "set it and forget it"? Can I offer a suggestion to put a list of books in your description.
Hi Sean,
This was a really great interview full of insight, glad you found something valuable here.
And this was a great suggestion! I’ll start placing links to my books and others that can help in the description 👍
Very good video. Don't have the racing heart. Maybe my meds don't let me have the racing thoughts or classic adrenaline rushes. Yet hyper arousal I def. have I think. Less sleep makes me more awake and so on. I have ocd thinking when I have anxiety. The twitching she describes now makes sense. I accepted a lot about this.. Not emotionally accepted it yet. Yes fear is real and anxiety/ or over thinking. Just the way I feel it depends on what pills I have been given .. totally another topic. I am not on any sleeping pills, benzo, or anti psy pills atm.
Hi Justina. I am very very glad you could relate. It’s so helpful to know that what you were going through is similar to what others have gone through that are now not struggling whatsoever 👍
Hi Michelle,
I went through this video yesterday.I am experiencing hypnic awareness and then hyper arousal in the form of palpitations and hot flashes.My question is after practicing the welcoming approach by Dr.Meadows,did you still have poor nights for somedays?Does this need regular practice of facing the fears at night when unable to sleep before things starts to improve in few weeks.I will be having my baby in a month of so and I so badly want my symptoms to improve.
Thanks
Ritika
Hey, I know this is an older video but I'm wondering about a link to the book? I also experice the twitches, their what keeps me awake, as I find that happen constantly when I start to fall asleep. I had a councilor tell me that whenever you feel anxiety it can spike your cordisol levels for 4+ hours making it impossible to sleep. That stressed me out so badly and I've found myself constantly battling the "tingle" of anxiety because the way it was explained to me, if you feel the tingle, you'll be awake for a long amount of time. Did you have any advice on that?
Hi Lauryn,
If you search Amazon for “Erichsen Daniel Set it” you’ll find it. Hope it helps. We have lots of content here around hyperarousal that explains so many of these symptoms, hope this will help
Oh my God , no therapist no doctor could tell about hyper arousal and jerks ..I would ask my doctor again and again and she would have no answer to it
I would lie in bed thinking I am calm I have no stressors then why I couldn’t sleep . Scared of all these symptoms , I would take Ambien every night . After seeing his videos what my problem was
So glad you found this!!
HI Michelle, at night would you get out of bed when you couldn't sleep or did you stay in bed practicing the (welcoming) method?
@anacroangel if she doesn’t reply here as she might see the comment, I’ll ask her next time we do a Q&A together
What are your thoughts on taking Propranolol or Clonidine to reduce the adrenaline rushes? Is it still considered pushing the thoughts away?
Hi Evgeny! You know, in my thinking, Adrenalin rushes come from thoughts. When we see a rhino charging us, we thing “oh not I’ll get hurt!” And this thought causes an adrenaline rush. A ranger who can tell the rhino just wants to play and thinks “oh how lovely!” won’t have that adrenaline rush.
Now, medications can sedate, but they can’t really change our thoughts, so to me yes it’s an attempt to push away those thoughts, which then become amplified because the brain wants us to hear them!
Now if we don’t have the intent of escaping discomfort, then medications imho are harmless. But when we do anything to suppress thoughts, it’s like trying to hold a balloon under water, it comes up eventually!
Daniel what would you recommend for when you worry about other people having terrible experiences with insomnia and you worry maybe it will happen to you
Hi Rachy,
Check your comment on Talking insomnia 74 where I replied just now!
Hi. Can anyone help me to find the tips and treatments that worked for her? Thank you.
Hi! She followed the channel and read Set it & Forget it
I want so bad to get this. I am doing CBT-I all correctly, but I am still so bad off. As you know I lost my job 2 months ago because of insomnia, I have tried now twice to work, and am so hyperaroused that I stay awake the entire night, go into work, and it’s a struggle. I am practicing acceptance, tell myself I am gonna be ok, I get through, but the arousal is still there. I have a couple of shifts I picked up early next week and I am already hyperaroused. I only got a couple of hours last night. There is no way I can work so I am gonna cancel them. I have to. A few days ago I was better, now not so much. It’s like I will get 4 nights of 4-5 hours and think, “I can go back to work.” Then bam! Cycle starts all over! I know if I go more days without sleep it gets dark for me. I binge watch your videos to educate and give myself hope. My job right now is to take care of me, to get better. My body hurts all over. I am so stiff.
Any suggestions on how I can get mindful so then that CBT-I will work? I know I am desperate y’all! I have read the Power of Now, watched multiple videos, yet I am not present. I am focused entirely on sleep. It’s all I think about. And everything I do is for sleep. I want to be mindful.
Hi Monica,
It’s so tough when you’re in that tug of war... the more you want it, the harder it gets... the more you want CBTi to work, the more it becomes an effort... it’s super tough... but you know, the most important is not being hard on yourself...
When you’re in that state of wondering why you can’t get it right, why you can’t do this or that, you easily get stuck.. just try to be generous, warm and kind to yourself, it will help. Hang in there!
Thanks Daniel. I actually did a zoom meditation practice yesterday, more today. And signed up with a teacher. I want to learn to be more mindful, present, and yes, self love and compassion too. I want to practice this just like eating, let it be natural. It goes along with your style of coaching. Thank you for always showing compassion, kindness and love.
This is the way!
Hello Daniel, I have just discovered your channel and bought your book thanks to this video. I wanted to ask about the withdrawal effects from coming off an antidepressant. I am suffering unpleasant withdrawal 5 weeks after stopping and as it says this often causes increased anxiety and insomnia! I had insomnia before & during treatment, but now my sleep is all over the place - trouble falling asleep sometimes but now waking after 3 hours unable to get back to sleep.I understand that it is how we respond that is important, but find it really difficult to cope with the increased anxiety and insomnia. Have you any advice?
I think also that people are not aware of the need to carefully taper these drugs and not just stop, that people vary in their response and that the symptoms can be very debilitating!
Thank you for all you are doing.
Hi Jane,
So glad you found it and thanks for getting my book 🙂
I’d say that of course there are some purely physical withdrawal effects when changing medication, but I think often what really gets us is the FEAR of withdrawal symptoms, because fear amplifies experiences and can even create some.
When we no longer are scared for experiencing discomfort, then things get so much easier.
Hang in there and let us know how things go 🙂
Hi Daniel,
thank you for that. I have been looking at The Sleep book by Guy Meadows and he seems to be saying that we should not get out of bed in the night when we can't sleep. Firstly I found this really punishing and anxiety provoking( lying awake for 3 hours is no fun!) I do understand that acceptance and not pushing away sensations and feelings and being compassionate to ourselves is central. Secondly it seems to contradict what you advocate in your book.... Is it not better to get up and do something that is at least neutral if not pleasurable? I would also like to ask how long we should stay up until we go back to bed? I am also aware that reading your book there is a subtle expectation on my part of achieving the 4 stages of recovery within a certain time frame and this too can set ourselves up for failure... Last question is about setting a sleep window: I had set myself a window of 7.5 hours from 10.30 - 6 am , but find myself falling asleep at 8pm 9pm & 10 pm and often awake for hours in the middle of night- would 10pm to 5pm be better. I have always been a lark?
Many thanks for everything and also to Michelle for sharing her experience🙏
@janetyson-ly4rv anytime Jane, so glad it made sense 😊 Check Insomnia insight 455, it covers much of what you asked about here!
What did you find the most help full she did a ton 9f work.. read 3 books and had the mental toughness .. she is not your average sleep challenge person...but if can follow her path you to will succeed
It’s not an easy path, but so many have found their way, and often, it’s the really gentle and kind way that helps so much
I think I’d love to figure out how to stop thinking about it during the day, all day. Get to the point where these people are, can talk about it freely and untriggered. I’m not sure how to get to THAT point of “letting go” or “forget it”.
Also, what advice do you have for someone who can take hours and hours to fall asleep?
Hi Sam!
You know, our thoughts are fleeting at baseline, then one thing that makes them sticky is… trying to figure out how to stop them!
It’s paradoxical but for example, when you allow yourself to try to figure out how to stop thinking, without any judgement, sort of just observing these thoughts happen… then you see that they’re just sentences in the brain.
They aren’t true, they aren’t you, you’re detached from the thoughts. Then it becomes easier to not try to stop them. And when you’re no longer trying to stop them.. they’re fleeting and don’t bother you…
Thank u for this video. I had no trouble sleeping until my doctor prescribed an ssri antidepressant for hormone trouble. I took it for 5 weeks, then stopped 8 weeks ago because i just couldnt deal with the negative side effects anymore. I havent stopped shaking since i took that first pill. Sleep is better some nights but overall still bad. I fear brain damage from the med, and i fear that the work you do can't help me until the damage from the med heals....
Anytime Jill, and hang in there. When we are ready, we can do this inner work, there’s no rush
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank u for responding. Any idea how long that medication effect on my brain is expected to last? Its brutal.
Anytime, and you know, it’s often more about our own response than the chemicals that matters
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 i completely agree however these chest crushing anxiety waves that keep hitting me feel completely chemical induced. I know that fighting them will only make it worse but i am truly suffering as a result of this medication, and there seems to be no help for someone like me. Doctors just want to prescribe more meds.
Hang in there Jill, just seeing the way we are already in it
Daniel what medicine was she coming off ,that cause her to have insomnia, curious because I guess she was sleeping okay prior her discontinuation..Thanks
Hi Allan, I don’t know, but I think between all our guests for sure someone has been on all the sleep medication there is…
Hi Danielle and Michelle,
I have literally the same symptoms as Michelle did... I have all the knowledge about insomnia and I've started sleeping so much better and I thought I became a good sleeper again but for the last week my heart started racing fast during the day and then during the night which really puzzled me because in my mind I am not anxious at all. First I had trouble falling asleep for maybe an hour because of racing heart but then every night has gotten worse and last night I was up almost all night because of racing heart. In my mind I don't worry about sleep anymore, and I know I can fall asleep so I just lay in bed and wait for the racing heart to calm down but it can take hours,and nothing helps it to stop it...as soon as it slows down,I fall asleep, but then I wake up early in the morning unable to fall back to sleep because of racing heart. I don't understand how could this be happening if I have so much knowledge about insomnia and I feel so relieved about it but now heart races all night and prevents me from sleeping (I don't have any stress in life). Last night I was trying to welcome this racing heart,I just lay in bed and said to myself that's okay let it race for as long as it wants,there's no danger,it's just confused. But in the back of my mind I really wanted it to stop so I could sleep so I self monitored to see if it slows down.
I'm really discouraged that it's happening because I've been sleeping sooo much better for the last month because of your channel and book, and this racing heart sensation just threw me ouff...just when I thought I reached success.
I feel like my sleep is getting worse again and the heart races most of the day and night. What should it do?
Also, Michelle mentioned we shouldn't expect to become perfect sleepers and we should deal with whatever sleep we get...but my expectation is actually to become a perfect sleeper, because my whole life I was that perfect sleeper who switched off to sleep within minutes, never woke up in the night and slept 8-9 hours waking up refreshed. I have been like this my whole life and I would love to get back to it... Will it be possible? I feel like insomnia really threw off my sleeping patterns ,and I wake up to early every morning now and can't seem to get enough sleep ever. I've only had sleep problems for shout half a year. Can I become thay great sleeper I ways have been?
Hi Nina! I think everyone struggling with sleep can expect to sleep just like they did before the struggle started!
It’s important to consider what helped you sleep better before these palpitations started bothering you - learning and letting go!
When you understand insomnia, you naturally worry less, then you try less to sleep and the more you’re ok with being awake, the easier sleep comes to you.
It’s important because sometimes people think that they did something to sleep better, but it was in fact letting go that helped!
When stress causes palpitations, then it’s good to know that it’s perfectly normal. It’s simply what the body is designed to do when the brain thinks there’s a problem. With insomnia, the brain has started to think that being awake is a threat!
And just like the more you try to sleep, the more you try to stop palpitations, even by welcoming them, the more they bother you!
I think just awareness, understanding where they come from, and then not waiting for them to stop but just do the things you were planning to do with or without palpitations teaches the brain that there’s no threat...
Claire Weekes in her books talks much about palpitations, and how they’re evidence that you have a good and strong heart. Consider her books!
Hope this helps and be in touch!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192
hi Daniel,
Thank you so much. Your comment helped a lot, I read up on heart palpitations in Claire Weekes' book and it really helped. Knowledge and acceptence is the key. Slept really well last night 😊 thanks for the work you do!
@@ninasimonovic761 Hi Nina, I have dealt with a racing heart for so many years! I feel your pain on this one. While a racing heart is not a nightly occurrence for me anymore, it still pops up sometimes and definitely keeps me awake. Everyone is different, but I thought I'd share my interpretation of why this symptom can happen (for me at least). I think it's a sign of the body/nervous system getting a bit stuck in "fight or flight" mode. For me both physical and emotional stress can bring back a racing heart (day & night) - so when this pops up again, as it still does, I ask myself if I have been feeling anxious/stressed or if I have pushed my body too hard that day (for me this can be too much work, too much physical activity, lack of self-care, etc.). The key for me is to then do things to support my nervous system the next day (anything that feels good & calming) & to focus on everything Daniel mentioned above - rather than adding that second layer of stressing about the racing heart & sleep loss on top. Best of luck!
@@michelleweil6672 thank you Michelle!! You're right,body can get a bit stuck in a sympathetic nervous system, reacting to it is the worst thing to do...
For me sometimes it comes for no reason even though I've had an enjoyable and happy today but when I go to bed it starts racing for no reason...maybe it's some sort of a subconscious reaction to insomnia that could still be in the back of mind.
@@ninasimonovic761 I used to experience that all the time! I would be so perplexed - why is my heart racing at night when all I did was have fun & spend time with friends today? Looking back on that, I think my body was so stuck in fight/flight that even being social or doing fun things could be interpreted by my body as "too stimulating", even though I felt mentally calm. This was frustrating and confusing to say the least! And like you said, you may also be having a subconscious reaction to being in bed as well since your brain is so used to viewing the night as a battleground. Daniel talks about how the first part of the process is shifting the mental perspective on all this stuff (education, awareness, acceptance). For me, this was definitely true. It started with big mental shifts and my body still had to take time to follow. While my rapid heart rate at night is mostly gone (unless I push myself too hard), this improved slowly over several months. I still have sleep onset twitches every night, they are just less intense. I still occasionally wake up to an adrenaline rush. I really think it takes time for the body to come out of fight/flight, especially if (like me) it's been there continuously for several years. You almost have to see it as an ongoing training exercise. Some days you'll feel like you're progressing and other days you'll feel like you took a step back & that's totally normal. Keep doing what you're doing! It sounds like you're on the right track by living your life & having enjoyable days despite how the night went..that's big!
I’m currently strugggling with sleepless nights. How do I stop ruminating during the day? Even if I am doing something I enjoy I can’t stop worrying about my lack of sleep all of the time.
Hi Nicole,
So sorry to hear, but glad you found our channel. Insomnia insight #363 is on this topic, hope it will help
Hi daniel, i just found out your channel because i'm currently struggling at hypnic jerks everytime i go to sleep 😭 it was so stressfull that may anxiety went high. All day i was thinking how can i stop my jerks at night, how can i sleep well. I dont know what to do. I watched michelle testimony but dont know if I can do that, im a negative thinker 😭 I'm always crying because of this crazy jerks
Hi Karen,
So sorry for the struggle but glad you found our little ecosystem.
In the description of any new video you’ll find a link to our Hypnic jerk playlist, I think that can help so much. Hang in there
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you. Im currently experiencing this for exactly a month. 😭 i try to relax everytime i experience but i cannot get deep sleep. Is it normal?
Anytime, sounds very familiar, hang in there, when we feel safe it gets easier
Did you ever figure out what video she was referring to of yours?
Oh Hi, no we never did! But what she heard me say there is something I way often... meaning, I don’t think there was anything particularly insightful in that one!
15:30 - 19:00 is this akin to positive thinking?
Hi! I think it’s different just because I think of effort and trying to make ourselves think positively when I hear of positive psychology - that’s tricky!
Why after I'd experienced panic attack? I couldn't sleep. My mind is always active even time to go to bed. Until I decided to take sleeping pills prescribed by the doctor. How to escape this medicine because I don't want to become dependent on sleeping pills.
Hi Rowell. You know what happens a lot is that someone has a panic attack at night and then sleep little. Then, the fear that is part of panic attacks focuses now on a new thing, fear of not sleeping is born. And then, when the brain thinks not sleeping at night is a threat, you start struggling with sleep...
I think something that is very helpful is to understand where racing thoughts come from and how to now experience them as much... take a listen to Insomnia insight 339, I think it could help!
Hi Daniel, her comes my other question, I notice that it’s getting better, my this idea of insomnia still plays in my head. What I mean by that is that I kind of have it the whole time, I do things but I seem to keep coming back to how to solve this whole insomnia thing. Yesterday I didn’t have any tingling ant all and today I have it again. What do I do during the day with the tingling, do I have to once in a while welcome it or like Sasha says in her book, sit down and imagine that I’m the tingling, I can’t stay the whole day doing that! What do I do during the day, I do things like I said but I don’t know how to approach this tingling, welcome it once in a while or ignore it. I notice that after the night when I went to read instead of lying in bed, I didn’t have tingly all day long, that’s why I asked you before if maybe it would be a good idea to better be going out of bed much more when I can’t sleep instead of lying in bed doing mindfulness. It just seems that my brain replied better to when I actually got out of bed and did something I liked which was reading. I’d appreciate a reply.
Hi Kasia,
I think what really helps is to see that when we aren’t trying to stop tingling for example then it doesn’t bother us. It’s the resistance that keeps it going. Just like it with insomnia.
So when we asked the question what should I do, that in a way it’s just evidence of resistance. We are just trying to find a way to escape some type of discomfort. And we have an idea that is a way to make ourselves escape the discomfort!
So whether we welcome it or ignore it doesn’t matter as long as we are willing to experience it.
I think the below can help!
-
There are two principally very different ways to meet thoughts that give rise to discomfort or emotions that are not comfortable.
And these two ways are in a way the opposite of each other so things can sort of get confusing when you ponder certain teaching points here and then compare them with others.
On one hand you have the analogy of the toddler who’s trying to get your attention by unwanted activity. You realize that the unwanted activity is maintained by you giving the toddler attention, even screaming at them to stop (!) is a way to give them attention, and you see that ignoring them is the best next step. When you start ignoring the toddler they may initially try even harder with that unwanted activity to try to get your attention, but if you just keep ignoring them, they eventually give up and start playing with their toys instead.
This is an analogy of basically dismissing thoughts and emotions that are uncomfortable.
A practical example would be when you feel somewhat anxious and you decide to go for a bike ride. You’re basically dismissing anxiety and sometimes this is the right thing to do! Sometimes you enjoy the bike ride and forget all about anxiety.
But sometimes, if the thoughts or emotions are more deeply rooted, then trying to ignore them actually isn’t helpful at all.
Let’s imagine that the toddler actually had something very important to tell you. And they knew this. Let’s say they were trying to tell you that there was a leak in the bathroom.
In this case, the more you try to ignore the toddler, the more persistently they would try to tell you something important. The more you try not to give them attention, the more they would annoy you and scream at you and really try to make you see that there’s a real problem.
In this case, the best thing to do is to listen. The best is to not try to escape or distract yourself but the present for all the thoughts and emotions even if they cause discomfort.
Coming back to the analogy, if you listen to the toddler in this case and they see this, well then they no longer have a need to warn you!
So in summary, there are two ways to meet discomfort.
One is to dismiss and one is to listen.
Dismissal works when the thoughts or emotions are not very persistent or deeply seated. On the other hand when the brain is really concerned about something, the best thing to do is to actually listen and to imagine the things that the brain is trying to warn you about. Be present and allow yourself to feel even the discomfort.
And when the brain sees that you’re listening, it will no longer feel a need to warn you.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 wow! Thank you, that was a very deep explanation. I also wonder when will this anxious feeling that I have 24/7 diminish? Is it like that that the better we sleep the less stronger this feeling will become? It’s so weird that it’s so present, do other people experience it as well? I can’t al anyone and you’ve talked to so many people.
Anytime! And you know, it feels weird because it’s out of context. But to the brain a perceived and tangible threat is the same.
We wouldn’t think it’s strange if we were sweating and had palpitations and were anxious if we were in a tent and heard lions outside. But when the threat IS anxiety, when that’s what we think is a danger, then it’s confusing because we don’t see a threat. But it’s totally normal in the context of a confused mind.
And you know, the more we look for a timeline, the longer it takes. The more we are ok with experiencing discomfort in the now, the sooner we find peace because there’s no pressure to get someplace. It’s another paradox!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 hi Daniel, its me again. When I stay in bed and try to accept the feeling of anxiety and tingling and say to myself it’s ok, it seem not to work. I got up a few nights ago I went to read and I think it worked better, what do you recommend your clients? Now I think maybe I would convince my brain more if I got up every time I was awake and not stayed in bed. Sasha says too, get up every time you’re awake but why do I need those relaxation techniques? Can the brain learn there is no danger by my only getting up doing smothering I like and not doing the lying? What do most people do? All I say is I seem not go too much further by lying and trying to accept those feelings, maybe I should take more action? Grateful if you reply!
Hi Kasia,
I think they key here I “it seem not to work”. This is what matters, the intent. Whenever we do something with the intent of not having some discomfort, that’s when we struggle.
You know how people say that you find things when you’re not looking?
Well imagine that you’ve been looking for your glasses for a while and you haven’t been able to find them. Then you remember that people say that you find things when you’re not looking. Then you decide not to look.
After about two hours you’re frustrated because even after not looking, you still haven’t found them!
The thing here is that, you’re actually still looking for your glasses, because you’re upset that you didn’t find them when you were “not looking.”
This is the tricky thing with sleep, it is when you truly aren’t trying to sleep that sleep comes to you. It is not easy but you often have these little magical moments. That one time where you didn’t really think so much about sleep and slept a little more. That time you were not looking.
And when you see how not looking, not trying, leads to you finding the thing you’re looking for, then it gets easier and easier.
So it doesn’t matter whether we are in bed, outside of bed, or what we do, as long as it’s not an attempt to escape discomfort.
It
@thesleepcoach - I would like to find the book of yours that she refers to - what is the title and your last name as author so I can find it?
Hi Meira! It’s “Set it & Forget it” by Daniel Erichsen, it’s on Amazon - thanks!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Got it, thanks!!!! That was a super helpful interview, as are all your broadcasts, thank you for giving us all hope!
Canadian, eh?:)
Indeed!