How Aida stopped thinking about sleep after 15 years of insomnia (Talking insomnia
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- In this edition of Talking insomnia we get to know Aida, a graduate of our Insomnia Immunity program.
We learn how after 15 years of living in the shadow of a fear of not sleeping, she now flies across the world and doesn't think about sleep.
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- The Insomnia Immunity Group Coaching Program.
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- Zoom based 1:1 coaching with Coach Michelle or Coach Daniel.
The Insomnia Immunity program is perfect if you like learning through video and want to join a group on your journey towards sleeping well.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
The 1:1 Zoom based program is for you if you like to connect one on one with someone who has been where you are now.
Find out more about these programs here:
www.thesleepcoachschool.com/
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Do you like learning by reading? If so, here are two books that offer breakthroughs!
Tales of Courage by Daniel Erichsen
www.amazon.com/Tales-Courage-...
Set it & Forget it by Daniel Erichsen
www.amazon.com/Set-Forget-rea...
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Would you like to become a Sleep Hero by supporting the Natto movement on Patreon? If so, that’s incredibly nice of you 😊. And here’s the link to do just that:
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Not sure where to start on your path to sleeping well? Check out these playlists!
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
• This is Natto - Start ...
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, hypnic awareness and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
Speed bumps - when you think you had a setback or “relapse.”
• Talking insomnia #55: ...
Unrefreshing sleep - when you always feel tired or exhausted.
• Unrefreshing sleep
Momsomnia - if you’re a mom or becoming a mom.
• Momsomnia
Heard online - when you’ve worried about claims made about health problems and insomnia.
• Heard online
Best!
This content does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other qualified healthcare providers.
Timestamps
- [00:00] 🤖 Introduction to Aida's Experience with Insomnia
- Aida, from Switzerland, shares her journey of overcoming insomnia.
- Participated in an insomnia immunity program and experienced significant improvement.
- [01:08]🌪 Onset of Insomnia Following a Traumatic Event
- Aida traces her insomnia back to a traumatic event 15-16 years ago.
- The struggle began with a few sleepless nights and escalated into a long-term issue.
- [02:04] 🛌 Life Revolving Around Sleep
- For 15 years, Aida was hyper-focused on her sleep, altering her lifestyle to avoid sleep problems.
- This focus led to a restricted lifestyle, avoiding travel and obsessing over sleep conditions.
- [04:08]🤱 Impact of Motherhood on Sleep Patterns
- The birth of her daughter six years ago brought changes to Aida's sleep patterns.
- Initially, insomnia worsened, but eventually, caring for her daughter shifted her focus away from sleep.
- [07:08] 🌧 Second Traumatic Event Leading to Severe Insomnia
- A family death triggered another severe bout of insomnia for Aida.
- Despite applying her usual methods and medications, sleeplessness persisted, causing extreme anxiety.
- [10:02] 🛑 Halting Work Due to Insomnia
- Aida stopped working due to the debilitating effects of chronic insomnia.
- Her condition was so severe that it affected her physical health and daily functioning.
- [13:14] 🔍 Discovering the Insomnia Immunity Program
- Aida found the insomnia immunity program and, despite skepticism, decided to give it a try.
- The program's relatable content and community support played a key role in her recovery journey.
- [16:29] ⚙ Gradual Shift in Attitude Towards Sleep
- Gradual changes in daily life and a shift in focus from sleep to living helped Aida improve.
- Acceptance of her condition and focusing on her daughter and family life were critical steps.
- [23:12]📈 Progress and Breakthrough Moments in Recovery
- Aida recalls specific moments where she realized her progress in dealing with insomnia.
- The decision to live life despite insomnia marked a significant turning point in her recovery.
- [29:48] 🛫 Taking a Transatlantic Trip as a Sign of Recovery
- The decision to travel across time zones was a major sign of Aida's recovery from insomnia.
- This step demonstrated her newfound ability to handle sleep irregularities without fear.
- [36:19] 🔄 Current State: Overcoming the Obsession with Sleep
- Aida now experiences little to no anxiety about sleep and leads a normal life.
- She learned that she functions well even with less sleep, debunking her previous belief about needing 8 hours.
- [42:06] 💡 Life Lessons and Personal Growth from Overcoming Insomnia
- Aida shares how her journey through insomnia taught her courage and resilience.
- She is now applying these lessons to other life challenges, such as changing her career path.
Aida has me laughing. She tells her story with such irony and I truly can relate. It’s so crazy how obsessed with sleep we can get. Great story.
Yes it's not the lack of sleep but the anxiety of wether you will sleep!
We can’t hear these insights too many times - thanks so much for sharing Beth 😊
I found the sleep restriction quite helpful. Nothing crazy like 5 hours. Just getting up early every day at same time.
Structure without attempting to control, this can really help 👍
i tried a few times prescribed drugs and antihistamine drugs, but i was feeling worse 😅 terrible experience. so i I have decided to lie awake instead of falling into an artificial sleep 😂
Aida was fortunate in a sense that the meds didn’t work as the withdrawals can be far more horrific than the original problem!
Sometimes it can help as you said… less factors that make things look complicated. Thanks for commenting 🙂
So glad to see Aida's success story! 😊
One day I want to smile like all of you when talking what you went through and now you’re ok.
you will!
Thank you for your reply. I am still trying hard to be friendly with wakefulness. That fear makes me bad the whole day. I am practicing to get less obsessed with my sleep and friendly with the night. But still hard. How long you took to practice like this?
I never really befriended it, I tolerated it and stopped judging it.
@@AidaDeRose-cv3ojI can relate to you mam,what you experienced I also experiencing right now.. how can I contact coach Daniel
I can relate to this. Have always had issues with sleep. Currently struggling with a dose of anxiety/depression as a result of losing a job all because of constant poor sleep. Trying to sleep with stress going on in your mind is very challenging. Constant disturbed wake ups at 3am and unable to re initiate sleep. Napping during the day becomes nigh on impossible due to your elevated level of anxiety. Hoping that Prozac starts to kick in soon and at least reduce the anxiety that is waking me up way too early.
Glad you found this interview Adam and hang in there, hope you’ll find things get easier soon 🙂
Great interview Aida!
Hi Coach Daniel! Hope all is well…
Aida is gorgeous!
I was able to relate to the obsession about sleep. In the one year or so it definitely became the center of my life. Controlling my actions! Hyper focusing on every night. Always talking about sleep to family members. It's hell on earth for sure!
It becomes your life and takes over your life. I don't know how aida tolerated it for 15 years !!!! Even a year for me was enough pain where I got ao fed up with it and almost angry too (punching the wall kind of angry).
And the painful yet funny thing is. Even if you have a good night you tend to continue to worry the following day.
Glad it's over! Don't even wish this stuff on worse of my enemies. Kudos to Aida! Great journey!
Thanks for being in touch Shreyas and sharing/supporting 😊
What a relief to learn I am not the only human being to punch a wall in the middle of the night…! 🙏
This was incredibly relatable. It was nice to know I’m not alone in my sleep struggles.
I felt the same way when I was watching the videos. You will definetely recover, hang in there.
Wow … thanks Aida . I felt like you were talking about me ..
A Big thank you I have finally conquered insomnia - Feel strong to deal with any future speed bumps
firstly insomnia is a fear of being awake - you must understand that you can't control sleep - so if you are taking medications this will only help with anxiety only - iwhen you can't get to sleep if you are alone ust start doing something you like - i love sport so i watched sport on the internet - try for 30 minutes or longer up to you - the important thing is enjoy it - then return to bed - you can also watch sport on laptop in bed -try not to think about sleep - as for things like melatonin, drinking less coffee, special lightning don't change your habits because this will have no impact on sleep - if you share a room with a partner i usually went to another room and watched sport or a movie or sometimes i made videos for my youtube channel - just take your mind off sleeping - your brain will send you to sleep when it wants to - its the sympathetic nervous system that stops you sleeping and this is controlled by your brain - it perceives a threat that it wants to protect you from however the brain can't differentiate between a real threat - an animal attacking you for example and a perceived threat so it stops you sleeping - the doing activities that you like tells your brain that you aren't frightened but it will test this repeatedly so don't expect to immediately start sleeping better - this will take time for your brain to be confident that you aren't frightened about not sleeping - finally you will sleep even if it is is shallow sleep - shallow sleep is when you think you are wide awake but you have slept in a very shallow state - hope this helps @@Skxm
Wonderful to read these lines 😊! And thank you so much for helping out here in the comments. Again I’m so glad you’ve found yourself leaving this struggle and - be in touch!
26:20 it is so true! i always ask people about their sleep and how many hours they are sleeping and how they feel without sleep.😅 so obsessive!
and yes, i have 100times this kind of thought: if only I could sleep, I could achieve this and that!!!
so funny to see that there are people with the same behaviour pattern
I knew this would resonate so much! We often think we are the only one… but we humans are all so alike 😊
Id be keen to share my success story ....if its needed or can be helpful...from new zealand x
Thanks much Alissa for volunteering! It’s always so helpful to hear stories that bring hope. Send an email to nerissa@thesleepcoachschool.com and we will set things up!
Thank you Aida. However I still don't get or see a link related to the program ❤
Thanks for the support 😊 It’s the Insomnia Immunity program, you can learn more on our website
I deeply appreciate the lesson I learned from the conversation. I will start to not let being tired over sleep lack defeat my day life. However, i know, for me I need more sleep, i know physically I am tired and my memory can't funtion well. I know that I actually need more sleep, but I will use discipline and courage to do things that I need and should do, not worring if the activities affect my bedtime any more. However, I am still confused when I am sleepy and lay on the bed. What should I think about, what should I do so that I can stop thinking or am aware of sleeping coming. When my eyes are open, sleepy feeling make them shut down, but my mind make my mind open again. I try to sleep but somehow it become the other way around, it turn out like I try not to sleep. Please help me. I wish you can teach me what to think, how my brain should behave at bedtime so that sleep can happen smoothly and naturally. Thank you
So glad you found value here and you know, it’s so tricky but: it’s thinking we can/should think about something that keeps us in some struggle. When we no longer attempt to control our inner experiences like thoughts… things get easier and easier
How are you doing today? I am in the thick of this struggle now and need someone to talk to about it. I hope things have improved somewhat for you. Let me know, thanks
@@melissawilson4796 Hi, i am doing really good today. I actually developed a simple way to get rid of the problem. I recalled myself how much I had loved my bed and bedtime before I had insomnia. Then no more questions in my mind like: how to sleep, am I going to sleep, etc. I don't wait for it, I don't look for it, so my mind don't have to alert me when it happen. Very simple, but it works for me.
Hi Daniel,
Ihave had extremely bad (or good depending on your perspective!)
insomnia, at least 2 nights a week of nosleep at all. I am finding your approach helpful with the fear and expectation but I have another layer of night pain. I have been working on "Pain" through Curable but at night, I find it so hard to implement many of their strategies.
Any ideas please? If it's not the falling asleep, it is this! and the nights I can fall asleep, this kicks in.... The pain is more intense at night so I have no doubt it is Neuroplasticity! and my brain doing a number on me!
Thank you. I haven't found anyone that addresses both issues!
Hi there,
So glad you found your way here and you know, I think pain is really the same.. acute insomnia aka sleep disruption is something we all have often,acute pain too. But when we start fearing wakefulness or pain, our brain focuses on this and we “find” more, + all our experiences can be more intense with hyperarousal… so it’s about befriending, you can apply everything we teach here about wakefulness to pain, befriending in a gentle way…
On day I hope we have contextualized our way to all inner struggles, for now you have to do the is contextualizaion, rooting for you and please let us know how things go
Hi! I had insomnia before in middle school but i didn't know what was it so it came back to normal after two weeks. Now im having again but its going for a while, im so glad that i found this channel. But before this channel i watched videos of a sleep coach and he was saying we need to sleep coach to get rid of the insomnia. So it made me feel kinda hopeless. I was thinking like "so can't i get rid of this without a coach? " And the price was so expensive since im on another country and currency is so high. Can i overcome the insomnia by myself without getting any paid lessons or coach?
Sorry to hear but, glad you’re here 🙂 yes absolutely, many if not most of the guests on this channel didn’t pay for any coaching but just followed the channel. Rooting for you!
I suffer from ocd and this Fer of sleep has been following me for years and I’m so tired of it . I’ve gotten over every single fear except this one. I don’t get it. I quit my therapist because I just didn’t think it was helping
Hello sir please help i am going through the same situation where i am unable to sleep in night as well as in day i am scared please guide me how to handle this with my kid and husband
Hi Daniel, this started for me when my irregular periods started to occur as I am approaching menopause at 53, could a decrease in hormones trigger this ?
Hi Daniel, I would love to understand your perspective on why people go so many years with insomnia. Were they just not treating it with the fearless approach or is it possible to struggle for that long even when you get the right help.
that's an interesting question! in my opinion, we have been suffering from insomnia for so many years because we didn't get the right treatment. in my country, there are now even apps that you can get prescribed by your doctor. but i don't want to use them because they follow the rules of cbt-i. for example, i don't like the rule that i can only sleep in bed and no digital devices are allowed in bed. In my opinion, it's a stupid rule because my insomnia started in my younger years when there were no smartphones or electrical devices, and that's when my sleep problems started. i couldn't fall asleep before school, and the advice from the doctors was "don't take a nap and exercise." The result of this advice was that I can no longer fall asleep at lunchtime, no matter how tired I am!I have completely lost the lightness of my sleep.
if you go to a therapist, they recommend that you go to a neurologist. and in general you get the impression that doctors don't take you seriously if you have a problem with your sleep and they don't understand the root of the problem, otherwise they wouldn't give you tips like "drink milk in the evening and go for a walk." i heard this advice from several doctors over the years.I think it's a good recommendation to have an active day and make the most of your life despite lack of sleep, but at the same time you need a tool to manage your anxiety at night.
Hi! Yes I think it’s the lack of meaningful help that leads some to struggle for years. It’s like a phobia, the more we avoid spiders the more we teach ourselves that they are dangerous and we continue to be scared. We can go for years trying to avoid not sleeping and continue to be scared and have insomnia….
I just have a question is insomnia when you can't sleep much or does it also include when you can't sleep at all. I'm asking because I'm 40 and I've never had insomnia before. Then suddenly a week ago I couldn't sleep at all. Right now I have a tension headache all day everyday but I can't fall asleep at all, any time of day. It feels like I forgot how to sleep or I lost the sleep reflex somehow.
Is this common for insomnia or does something like this only happen with hormonal/neurological disorders. The scary thing for me is I went from never had sleep problems for 40 years to suddenly one day forgetting how to sleep. I think I can even function on 3-4 hrs of sleep a night but right now I can't even get a single hour. It feels like I just forgot how to sleep in a week. Something like this to someone inexperienced like me feel like it can only happen with FFI.
Hi George, this sounds very familiar, and of course sorry this is happening but - glad you found our way so soon. Insomnia is when our fear of not sleeping keeps us in an anxious state
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 After a week and a half of this torture. I'm beginning to recognize the anxiety aspect of this. Which I didn't recognize at first given I've had very bad anxiety before but never had it affect my sleep.
I've been doing the wrong thing just building up sleep drive without addressing the anxiety at all. All that does is increase my sleep hunger and make me feel even worse when the anxiety blocks me.
I'm going to attack primarily the anxiety from now on. I finally understand that sleep is a natural reflex that I don't control. I have to make my subconscious comfortable enough to let go or it is never going to. All I can do is make myself as relaxed and comfortable as possible when I feel tired and need a rest. Sleep will come if he is not afraid and if he doesn't I just have to learn how to rest and relax without him until he does come.
@georgesiew6203 you’re really staring to see, which is wonderful. And just one little thing, when we no longer attack anything, we find peace happen 😊
How do you join and where can I buy the book?
Hi Lisbeth, you can learn more about the program on our website thesleepcoachschool.com, and buy the book on Amazon. Rooting for you!
I wonder for athletes who have insomnia should they force themself to be normal by running hundreds of kilometer again even after of not sleeping?
I would love to learn how to feel it doesn't matter. How do you get there?
Hi Janie, a tricky thing is we compress months of learning and heart work into a less than one hour video… but I’d say this is what leads where we want to be
One way to get there is through acceptance therapy. A good book to help you with this is called “Mindfulness for Insomnia: A Four-Week Guided Program to Relax Your Body, Calm Your Mind, and Get the Sleep You Need” by Catherine Polan Orzech and William H. Moorcroft. I used it when quitting benzodiazepines. I didn’t sleep for about 2 months. The book and accompanying meditation practice pretty much saved me.
@@juliewhite466 Thanks, Julie
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 " this is what leads where we want to be" I am not sure what you mean. What is the "this" you refer to?
Hi Janine, it was referring to learning and heart work… like reading the book Julie shared and contextualizing 🙂
If you have future speedbumps isn't that because you haven't completely recovered from insomnia? I just had one last night after 2-3 weeks of sleeping well. Past 3 months sleeping almost all the time. Isn't insomnia still there if there is still that residual fear that pop up sometimes? Just wondering about the "problem fading away" until it's non-existent. Alina talks about insomnia being long tail -- does that mean that even if you are mostly sleeping this fading can go on for a year or two or three for some people? From most of the success stories it.seems people generally recover in 6 months to 18 months for there to be fearless sleep.
Oh I’d say it just means we became a bit frazzled that’s all. And when we no lounger react much to those bumps, then eventually we no longer wonder if we have recovered or not… and in some way that’s when we have 🙂
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks Daniel! Generally not reacting much to these speedbumps but a little auto-fear still there.
@@actualityfilmsIt happens to me too! I think it's nice that after education we are able to notice these micro disturbances and micro worries.
I just notice them gently and let it be and relax. Eventually it stops creeping into your mind. Not resisting and sticking to the teachings is KEY.
I noticed lately that as long i stick to the teachings on any give bump that happens after a long time I am always fine the next day and I ALWAYS sleep even if it's a little less on the problematic night despite the worries as long as I stick to the protocol.
Eventually I think I have gotten to a point where I am more positive on such nights. The more I go through them the more confident I become.
I have the same "problem"..weeks and months in fine sleep than it comes back to anxiety, uncomfort,...have the feeling that it will never conpletely fade away..
@@kadirkale686 My insomnia timelines has been -- 6 months of insomnia hell in the beginning and the past year sleeping but with a speedbump once a month for a night on average. Alina says the brain finally exhaust all possibilities, gets bored and finally gives up.