Growing up, my parent's motto was 'children should be seen and not heard...and not seen too damned often' and when attention was given, it was in the form of some sort of punishment. My MIL told me (when my children were young) 'never, ever apologize to your children because it takes away your power'. Seeing this type of parenting going by the wayside is wonderful.
I am definitely someone who needs to be THE authority in my own life. I have been since I was really little. It was to the point that even the psychologist they took me to told them that sometimes kids need to just make mistakes and learn from them. I would go out in the freezing cold without a coat, throw massive temper-tantrums, and generally be a menace with no regard for anything my parents did. Any punishment they gave only served to incense me further. Finally my mom adopted a "She'll learn" attitude. She let me go outside and realize by myself that I needed a coat, she let me tire myself out with temper-tantrums, and she let me feel guilty after acting like a menace. She'd ask me questions like "How does that make you feel?", "Can you change that? How?", "Is that really what you want to do?", "Why do YOU think that didn't work?", "How do you think the other person felt when you did that?", etc. And I learned how to do things my self. I learned to calm myself down and make better decisions. I learned to be the person I want to be and to have compassion for others. (Although, she certainly got a lot of comments like "how could you let your child go outside in this weather without a coat? What a horrible mother.") This worked for some of my siblings, but others she had to be harder on, and she had to tell them what to do more actively. But even then, when they misbehaved or made a mistake, she asked the same questions.
Vs my parent who was stubborn and would not back down cause in my parent's mind anything that I or my siblings did against the parent's wishes was an abomination against God and God HAS to be obeyed no matter what. =P It wasn't till I left the house that I figured out I'm allowed to make mistakes AND that when I make mistakes (even the smallest ones) that I would not get yelled at for several minutes and be told how "deliberately disobedient to God" I was being. I'll never forget one of the loudest arguments with my sister and parent being over my sister drinking a gatorade at an event and gatorade has sugar and sugar is bad against the body which means you're not taking care of your body like God wants you to. It was an argument over the whole trip home and MAN...such a STUPID thing but that was a normal occurrence almost every day till I moved out as an adult. OH, and never mind that one of my parent's is autistic...to the other his actions were just "disobedience".
The term "Gentle Parenting" seems to be a growing trend that I am hearing a lot about online. I would love to see you do a video reacting to some popular tik toks on gentle parenting.
Gentle parenting is the same as Conscious or Positive Parenting. It isn't Permissiveness nor lack of structure with healthy & safe boundaries. The permissive parenting they outlined is what so many people mistakenly think Positive or Conscious Parenting and Communication is. Concious Communication and Positive Parenting are the balance of structure, safe and healthy boundaries with Respect, kindness, compassion, listening and understanding. Treating the child as an autonomous Human whom you are responsible for teaching to thrive in the world. The prerequisite required to be that sort of caregiver is that you have that same relationship with yourself.
My parents always showed total acceptance for who we are, not necessarily for what we do. There's difference. I mean that, in terms of, say, sexuality, or dis/ability, total acceptance, no questions asked. But if we did something stupid, they'd let us know, at least when we were little .Past a certain age, we were/are pretty much expected to figure it out by experiencing the consequences, but THAT approach comes out of respect for our autonomy. Mom took more of a hands-on approach with all of us when we were little, because she was neglected as a child and didn't want to do that to us, but, at the same time, she was able to discern when to cut the cord. She and I talked about that a few days ago, and I never really realized what a shitty childhood she had. I HOPE I made her feel better by telling her that never ONCE have I known--not thought, not felt, but KNOWN--that I'm unloved. Because I'm not unloved. She has a HELL of a temper, everyone in the family can say horrible things to one another, but at the end of the day, when it's life-or-death, we are a single mind with five bodies. Mom, dad, me, my sister, my brother. We can't turn on one another.
9:20 - GREAT TAKEAWAY - THE BOOK "GREAT LEADERS ASK GREAT QUESTIONS" - Alicia said it's a great business book she read and she immediately applied it to parenting because its so applicable there too - because, like leadimg any kind of human organization and or relationships - but definitely parenting, parenting is all about leadership.
When I was growing up, my parents kinda put in the bare effort. They loved me, fed me, clothed me, but they also kinda spoiled me. I always got what I wanted, all of my behavior was acceptable, and I could never be in the wrong. They did all of the fighting for me, so I never learned to stand up for myself. Their parenting and discipline was so lax that I never bothered to wash myself or clean my teeth ever since I was 6. I didn't realize something was wrong until my teeth were permanently stained yellow at 17. I was the emotional support animal for both of my parents in compensation. As long as I was that, I always got what I wanted, but what I wanted never aligned with what I needed, and I'm feeling the effects as I try to fix myself up. I think it's 100% due to both of my parents living in extremely strict households, so they swung from horribly strict to terribly lax parenting. The end goal of parenting IS to raise a human being, so always keep in mind you're trying to give both a decent childhood and the tools needed so they can live a long, healthy life. This video honestly captures that sentiment fully.
I am so grateful to the both of you (and your children!) for granting us your time so that you can share this valuable information with us. These are life-changing lessons and I feel that each video gives me another tool to add to my toolbelt of life.
I have a video idea: what advice do you have for people entering a new relationship and their partner has a child/children from a previous relationship? Especially if the other person has no parenting experience. What have you seen that works for everyone, but especially how to treat the children of your partner when you first meet them/get to know them?
I'd wonder how a person can have a child AND have no parenting experience. Maybe ask questions about why that is, take parenting classes, together maybe .
@@recoveringsoul755 no need to be pedantic. It's pretty clear that in this situation, there is one person with no parenting experience and on who has children. It's pretty clear to deduce who is who in my comment.
@@JacobHernandez I see. Still a good idea to discuss it to make sure you're on the same page about how to raise children. I've seen relationships end because the couple disagrees on the correct way to raise kids
Good video idea! Often people try to buy the child toys, which i wouldnt recommend. Get on their level, engage and play with them. Dont assume, even if youve been with the person and their child for a year or 2, that you are now the stepfather or have any authority over the child automatically (depends on the age of course. If theyre a teen or even an older child, there may very well be resistance and resentment towards the new person.
My mother is very emotional whereas I’ve always been so practical, even at a young age. I always detested that side of her. She’d always try to guilt me with tears and a quivering lip and it really just made me angry and it felt manipulative. I realize now she wasn’t manipulating.. that’s just how she is. But I was very harsh and critical of her growing up. I can’t think of a single emotional need she met for me growing up. My nana, on the other hand, was my other half. She always understood where I was coming from - even when I truly was being harsh and critical. I never felt judged or misunderstood or invalidated. I’ve always loved her for that. She passed away in April and it feels like a part of myself has gone dark. My daughter (5) is so much like my mother and I struggle constantly with the notion that I don’t think I’m meeting most of her emotional needs. I just don’t know how to connect with her most of the time. She’s hard headed like me but weepy all the time like my mom was. I hope our relationship will be able to overcome our differences in the long run.
That permissive parenting they outlined is what so many people mistakenly think Positive or Conscious Parenting and Communication is. Conscious Communication and Positive Parenting are the balance of structure, safe and healthy boundaries with Respect, kindness, compassion, listening and understanding. Treating the child as an autonomous Human whom you are responsible for teaching to thrive in the world. The prerequisite required to be that sort of caregiver is that you have that same relationship with yourself.
Man this explains so dang much about all of everything to do with my childhood. My question is what do you do when needs cant be met? Life was not great. There was nobody capable to meet needs pretty much the entire time. It turned into always trying to diminish my needs in favor of people whos needs were... not great. Because that's what everybody else had to do too. It was like being around a dog you know bites. No amount of conversation or acquiescing meant you wouldnt get bit. For the same stupid reasons. Over and over again. Then I traded that treatment for escaping the situation only to have the same treatment from someone else. I get now you can just cut them out of your life but when your a kid you cant do that. If your kid decided he was the type to threaten people with knives to get his way, what would you do?
Call the police. Unfortunately child protective services can be just as bad if not worse than staying where you are, but if your own child does that, they need help and probably have a personality disorder and pehaps a traumatic upbringing themselves.
@@chrismccaffrey8256 we did have the police involved once. They charges him with domestic violence but cause he was a minor with now money it just meant more bills for my mom to pay. Therapy was court appointed, unhelpful, and brief. I dunno i guess I was just hoping for an answer that would have saved us all and fixed everything ya know? Thanks for replying
another plattitude I hate: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Um....what doesn't kill you gives you trauma...and if you work to heal the trauma THAT makes you stronger. Other wise what doesn't kill you COULD give you something that could eventually kill you or just make your life completely different.
Aaaw! Alicia's 🎶 This little light of mine 🎶 at the end! Five out of five stars. I might need to watch this video several more times; it's so chock full of wisdom.
This episode is packed with real truth about our behaviors, our emotions, and our emotional desires. There are so many great takeaways from this session. I love the whole discussion around behaviors, emotions and emotional desires. And the other big Takeaway was about leader ship and the connection to curiosity. Thank you for sharing this with us
I can't wait to be able to ask these kind of questionsxto my daughter. With her 2 years she can't really think things through lijecthat so occassionally I have to put my food down and ignore hrr need for autonomy, like when she doesn't let herself get her teeth cleaned. I try asking nicely, i have children books about the topic, about the importance and everything but most mornings and evenings it comes down to forcing her get her teeth brush (when she is shouting and yelling at least her mouth is open...) Atm she also needs to learn to sleep alone because beeing by her side to maje her fall asleep drves me crazy, if she just calmed down and dtifted to sleep it would be ok, but the makes noises, rollsxaround, pinches, kicks something etc and I tried ignoring it to give her the closeness she demands but After like 45 minutes I usually hit my limit and explode or at least leavexrather angrily....
Thank you so so much for this. Because indeed, sometimes it's really hard to describe what you wish had happened instead. You can tell what is wrong and can even tell what you need, but the process of explaining to another person the HOW and also, that the internall awareness of powerdynamics and the conscious choice NOT to abuse them or even overus them (not even in the protective sense) makes a massive differenc is ..... so hard! I love to have the template for it!
If the child is feeling tired and stressed and out of sorts... they very well might sometimes actually try to do something drastically out of character. But just because someone does something drastically out of character once when they crack under the pressure in the heat of a moment doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still a sweet person, it just means that they also aren't perfect and/or are also human.
I loooove these two beautiful people and appreciate their work! If I may add feedback unrelated to the awesome content, the only thing that makes it less enjoyable for me is the constant use of "right?" in nearly every sentence and it can be distracting from the valuable content for us auditory types :) Great work and real, genuine humans ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for the book recommendation of Good Leaders Ask Great Questions! I’m looking forward to reading it! I learned to think/teach more this way when my kids were teenagers, but I wish I would have been more aware as they were growing up.
why didn't i know this channel sooner, im fan from movie therapy and now a fan for this channel too, more power to you and continue what you are doing it's helping a lot of people so thank you!
I am very familiar with this approach in my work as a middle school teacher, but would love to hear more about how you start it with babies and toddlers.
I woke up one day in high school, to discover my little sister standing over my bed, holding a knife pointed at my skull. She was between 9-12 years old. I never told my parents. There's still something seriously wrong with her
I told a therapist I was suicidal and she said she’d never had a suicidal client, and asked me what it was like. I’m not sure how you get through therapist school without being educated about suicidal ideation?? After that session I told my mom I wanted a therapist that knew her ass from a hole in the ground.
Let me tell you something- What I had in my childhood from my parents is a violent education. Not violent physically but violent emotionally which is just as bad if not worse. Because there was never true show of care, in a sense of "How do you feel? How was your day?" both of them ignored me. Dad gave money but was never truly there even when he was physically. And I was a kid with health issues, I still have some. And all that my mom was ever cared about, is if I was eating or if I took my medications. Food, health and bring good grades and that's it. Every time they tried to give me a life lesson in their eyes, it was always with two guiding words "forbidden" and "duty" and with pointing fingers always when they say it, extremely scary for a little kid. And if I did something that broke their code of behavior, what I got from either was "stupid kid!" or "education less barbaric idiot! How dare you?! This is not how we taught you!" And I said to myself that if I will have kids one day (I have non yet) this is not how I will behave to them or educate them. I resent the way of my parents and I want to make a difference.
This has been by far the most helpful video. If you have any suggestions or books to recommend in regards to guidance and awareness on sex and drugs for teenagers, please share!
Please react to crazy ex-girlfriend, it's a show about mental illness and the point of view of that person. It's a comedy and musical, Rachel bloom is the protagonist, co-creator, writer, and songwriter of this show. She's amazing and the show is amazing! ❤
PS: Okay, I'd like your opinion on something, guys: one thing I've heard from SOME--though this is rare now--Christian parents is that, if you don't hit your kids, they won't listen to you. I live by three rules: no theft, no waste, no violence, so I think that's...shall we say "unnecessary"? But what are your thoughts?
I remember when I was a kid when my Mum did hit me, I listened out of fear, but I still didn’t really listen because I was actually listening, I listened to avoid getting hurt/yelled at.
Yep. Unnecessary. Its punishing he being for something tgey didnt even know or realise was wrong. It does nothing to actually build good qualities within the child, o ly teaches that they are bad and wrong - Personal experience.
If they hurt you in anyway when they are angry or make you feel unsafe, love them from a distance. If they acknowledge that they struggle with anger and are seeking healthy ways to manage it, then I'd encourage you to reach out if that is what you want to do. I don't know if I answered your question, but I very strongly feel that when considering mending broken relationships, you should always consider if it is safe for you to do so. When I took first-aid class, the first thing they told us to do in any situation was to evaluate the scene for safety before approaching. If that is what we should do when someone's life is on the line, we should do it in any situation that involves our well-being. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Is it wrong for me to feel better about myself to hear your kids threatened each other with a knife? 😁 My kids continue to have some challenging behaviors.
'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' ABSOLUTELY means that you should treat others the way that others want to be treated because you would want others to treat you in the way that you want to be treated. 😊🤍🩶
Growing up, my parent's motto was 'children should be seen and not heard...and not seen too damned often' and when attention was given, it was in the form of some sort of punishment. My MIL told me (when my children were young) 'never, ever apologize to your children because it takes away your power'. Seeing this type of parenting going by the wayside is wonderful.
Yikes!! Well you can choose to parent in a more effective way, I chose to apologize to my kids when I did anything wrong, and I did.
@@recoveringsoul755 defintely the way to go :)
Lisa, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I pray for your healing 🙏💚🔮
@@recoveringsoul755 I did (my kids are adults now) and still do I parented my girls pretty much opposite of how I was raised.
@@lisam5744 I kept the good things my parents did, ditched the bad and made my own way
I am definitely someone who needs to be THE authority in my own life. I have been since I was really little. It was to the point that even the psychologist they took me to told them that sometimes kids need to just make mistakes and learn from them. I would go out in the freezing cold without a coat, throw massive temper-tantrums, and generally be a menace with no regard for anything my parents did. Any punishment they gave only served to incense me further. Finally my mom adopted a "She'll learn" attitude. She let me go outside and realize by myself that I needed a coat, she let me tire myself out with temper-tantrums, and she let me feel guilty after acting like a menace. She'd ask me questions like "How does that make you feel?", "Can you change that? How?", "Is that really what you want to do?", "Why do YOU think that didn't work?", "How do you think the other person felt when you did that?", etc. And I learned how to do things my self. I learned to calm myself down and make better decisions. I learned to be the person I want to be and to have compassion for others. (Although, she certainly got a lot of comments like "how could you let your child go outside in this weather without a coat? What a horrible mother.") This worked for some of my siblings, but others she had to be harder on, and she had to tell them what to do more actively. But even then, when they misbehaved or made a mistake, she asked the same questions.
Vs my parent who was stubborn and would not back down cause in my parent's mind anything that I or my siblings did against the parent's wishes was an abomination against God and God HAS to be obeyed no matter what. =P
It wasn't till I left the house that I figured out I'm allowed to make mistakes AND that when I make mistakes (even the smallest ones) that I would not get yelled at for several minutes and be told how "deliberately disobedient to God" I was being.
I'll never forget one of the loudest arguments with my sister and parent being over my sister drinking a gatorade at an event and gatorade has sugar and sugar is bad against the body which means you're not taking care of your body like God wants you to. It was an argument over the whole trip home and MAN...such a STUPID thing but that was a normal occurrence almost every day till I moved out as an adult.
OH, and never mind that one of my parent's is autistic...to the other his actions were just "disobedience".
My oldest daughter (5) can be this way and I’ve started adopting a similar approach. Alright go ahead, see how that works out for you.
The term "Gentle Parenting" seems to be a growing trend that I am hearing a lot about online. I would love to see you do a video reacting to some popular tik toks on gentle parenting.
Gentle parenting is the same as Conscious or Positive Parenting. It isn't Permissiveness nor lack of structure with healthy & safe boundaries. The permissive parenting they outlined is what so many people mistakenly think Positive or Conscious Parenting and Communication is. Concious Communication and Positive Parenting are the balance of structure, safe and healthy boundaries with Respect, kindness, compassion, listening and understanding.
Treating the child as an autonomous Human whom you are responsible for teaching to thrive in the world. The prerequisite required to be that sort of caregiver is that you have that same relationship with yourself.
My parents always showed total acceptance for who we are, not necessarily for what we do. There's difference. I mean that, in terms of, say, sexuality, or dis/ability, total acceptance, no questions asked. But if we did something stupid, they'd let us know, at least when we were little .Past a certain age, we were/are pretty much expected to figure it out by experiencing the consequences, but THAT approach comes out of respect for our autonomy. Mom took more of a hands-on approach with all of us when we were little, because she was neglected as a child and didn't want to do that to us, but, at the same time, she was able to discern when to cut the cord. She and I talked about that a few days ago, and I never really realized what a shitty childhood she had. I HOPE I made her feel better by telling her that never ONCE have I known--not thought, not felt, but KNOWN--that I'm unloved. Because I'm not unloved. She has a HELL of a temper, everyone in the family can say horrible things to one another, but at the end of the day, when it's life-or-death, we are a single mind with five bodies. Mom, dad, me, my sister, my brother. We can't turn on one another.
9:20 - GREAT TAKEAWAY - THE BOOK "GREAT LEADERS ASK GREAT QUESTIONS" - Alicia said it's a great business book she read and she immediately applied it to parenting because its so applicable there too - because, like leadimg any kind of human organization and or relationships - but definitely parenting, parenting is all about leadership.
When I was growing up, my parents kinda put in the bare effort. They loved me, fed me, clothed me, but they also kinda spoiled me. I always got what I wanted, all of my behavior was acceptable, and I could never be in the wrong. They did all of the fighting for me, so I never learned to stand up for myself. Their parenting and discipline was so lax that I never bothered to wash myself or clean my teeth ever since I was 6. I didn't realize something was wrong until my teeth were permanently stained yellow at 17. I was the emotional support animal for both of my parents in compensation. As long as I was that, I always got what I wanted, but what I wanted never aligned with what I needed, and I'm feeling the effects as I try to fix myself up.
I think it's 100% due to both of my parents living in extremely strict households, so they swung from horribly strict to terribly lax parenting. The end goal of parenting IS to raise a human being, so always keep in mind you're trying to give both a decent childhood and the tools needed so they can live a long, healthy life. This video honestly captures that sentiment fully.
I am so grateful to the both of you (and your children!) for granting us your time so that you can share this valuable information with us. These are life-changing lessons and I feel that each video gives me another tool to add to my toolbelt of life.
I don't know any parents who use the methods you mentioned but I sure wish mine had.
I have a video idea: what advice do you have for people entering a new relationship and their partner has a child/children from a previous relationship? Especially if the other person has no parenting experience. What have you seen that works for everyone, but especially how to treat the children of your partner when you first meet them/get to know them?
I'd wonder how a person can have a child AND have no parenting experience. Maybe ask questions about why that is, take parenting classes, together maybe .
@@recoveringsoul755 no need to be pedantic. It's pretty clear that in this situation, there is one person with no parenting experience and on who has children. It's pretty clear to deduce who is who in my comment.
@@JacobHernandez I see. Still a good idea to discuss it to make sure you're on the same page about how to raise children. I've seen relationships end because the couple disagrees on the correct way to raise kids
Good video idea!
Often people try to buy the child toys, which i wouldnt recommend. Get on their level, engage and play with them. Dont assume, even if youve been with the person and their child for a year or 2, that you are now the stepfather or have any authority over the child automatically (depends on the age of course. If theyre a teen or even an older child, there may very well be resistance and resentment towards the new person.
My sister's and my needs were not met, especially emotionally. It was the parent's way in everything or not at all.
My mother is very emotional whereas I’ve always been so practical, even at a young age. I always detested that side of her. She’d always try to guilt me with tears and a quivering lip and it really just made me angry and it felt manipulative. I realize now she wasn’t manipulating.. that’s just how she is. But I was very harsh and critical of her growing up. I can’t think of a single emotional need she met for me growing up. My nana, on the other hand, was my other half. She always understood where I was coming from - even when I truly was being harsh and critical. I never felt judged or misunderstood or invalidated. I’ve always loved her for that. She passed away in April and it feels like a part of myself has gone dark.
My daughter (5) is so much like my mother and I struggle constantly with the notion that I don’t think I’m meeting most of her emotional needs. I just don’t know how to connect with her most of the time. She’s hard headed like me but weepy all the time like my mom was. I hope our relationship will be able to overcome our differences in the long run.
Do you ask her why she's crying?
@@Shadow-zf5ucthey probably don’t because they don’t have emotions so they think nobody has a reason to
That permissive parenting they outlined is what so many people mistakenly think Positive or Conscious Parenting and Communication is. Conscious Communication and Positive Parenting are the balance of structure, safe and healthy boundaries with Respect, kindness, compassion, listening and understanding. Treating the child as an autonomous Human whom you are responsible for teaching to thrive in the world. The prerequisite required to be that sort of caregiver is that you have that same relationship with yourself.
Man this explains so dang much about all of everything to do with my childhood. My question is what do you do when needs cant be met? Life was not great. There was nobody capable to meet needs pretty much the entire time. It turned into always trying to diminish my needs in favor of people whos needs were... not great. Because that's what everybody else had to do too. It was like being around a dog you know bites. No amount of conversation or acquiescing meant you wouldnt get bit. For the same stupid reasons. Over and over again. Then I traded that treatment for escaping the situation only to have the same treatment from someone else. I get now you can just cut them out of your life but when your a kid you cant do that. If your kid decided he was the type to threaten people with knives to get his way, what would you do?
Call the police. Unfortunately child protective services can be just as bad if not worse than staying where you are, but if your own child does that, they need help and probably have a personality disorder and pehaps a traumatic upbringing themselves.
@@chrismccaffrey8256 we did have the police involved once. They charges him with domestic violence but cause he was a minor with now money it just meant more bills for my mom to pay. Therapy was court appointed, unhelpful, and brief. I dunno i guess I was just hoping for an answer that would have saved us all and fixed everything ya know? Thanks for replying
Alicia, do you have or would you consider doing a video series on goal-setting, task management and entrepreneurship?
another plattitude I hate: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Um....what doesn't kill you gives you trauma...and if you work to heal the trauma THAT makes you stronger. Other wise what doesn't kill you COULD give you something that could eventually kill you or just make your life completely different.
Aaaw! Alicia's 🎶 This little light of mine 🎶 at the end! Five out of five stars.
I might need to watch this video several more times; it's so chock full of wisdom.
Other than the parent-child power dynamics, this seems very applicable to adult relationships too. 👍
This episode is packed with real truth about our behaviors, our emotions, and our emotional desires. There are so many great takeaways from this session. I love the whole discussion around behaviors, emotions and emotional desires. And the other big Takeaway was about leader ship and the connection to curiosity. Thank you for sharing this with us
How does this have 7k+ views and only 555 likes? Love this series!
I can't wait to be able to ask these kind of questionsxto my daughter. With her 2 years she can't really think things through lijecthat so occassionally I have to put my food down and ignore hrr need for autonomy, like when she doesn't let herself get her teeth cleaned. I try asking nicely, i have children books about the topic, about the importance and everything but most mornings and evenings it comes down to forcing her get her teeth brush (when she is shouting and yelling at least her mouth is open...)
Atm she also needs to learn to sleep alone because beeing by her side to maje her fall asleep drves me crazy, if she just calmed down and dtifted to sleep it would be ok, but the makes noises, rollsxaround, pinches, kicks something etc and I tried ignoring it to give her the closeness she demands but After like 45 minutes I usually hit my limit and explode or at least leavexrather angrily....
Thank you so so much for this. Because indeed, sometimes it's really hard to describe what you wish had happened instead. You can tell what is wrong and can even tell what you need, but the process of explaining to another person the HOW and also, that the internall awareness of powerdynamics and the conscious choice NOT to abuse them or even overus them (not even in the protective sense) makes a massive differenc is ..... so hard! I love to have the template for it!
If the child is feeling tired and stressed and out of sorts... they very well might sometimes actually try to do something drastically out of character. But just because someone does something drastically out of character once when they crack under the pressure in the heat of a moment doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still a sweet person, it just means that they also aren't perfect and/or are also human.
ooooof mended light this one was stealthily heavy
I loooove these two beautiful people and appreciate their work! If I may add feedback unrelated to the awesome content, the only thing that makes it less enjoyable for me is the constant use of "right?" in nearly every sentence and it can be distracting from the valuable content for us auditory types :)
Great work and real, genuine humans ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for the book recommendation of Good Leaders Ask Great Questions! I’m looking forward to reading it! I learned to think/teach more this way when my kids were teenagers, but I wish I would have been more aware as they were growing up.
why didn't i know this channel sooner, im fan from movie therapy and now a fan for this channel too, more power to you and continue what you are doing it's helping a lot of people so thank you!
Thank you for this wonderful video! I have never seen anything so full of love yet so full of wisdom at the same time!
I am very familiar with this approach in my work as a middle school teacher, but would love to hear more about how you start it with babies and toddlers.
I feel like something similar was posted already. Some of what you said was very familiar
I woke up one day in high school, to discover my little sister standing over my bed, holding a knife pointed at my skull. She was between 9-12 years old. I never told my parents. There's still something seriously wrong with her
I told a therapist I was suicidal and she said she’d never had a suicidal client, and asked me what it was like. I’m not sure how you get through therapist school without being educated about suicidal ideation?? After that session I told my mom I wanted a therapist that knew her ass from a hole in the ground.
Thankful for this video. I am going to try to be a better leader. Please make more parenting related videos. Thanks again!
Do you think a worried and responsible oldest child could use this aproach to teach their parent how to treat the little one in the house?
Lovely video
Let me tell you something- What I had in my childhood from my parents is a violent education. Not violent physically but violent emotionally which is just as bad if not worse. Because there was never true show of care, in a sense of "How do you feel? How was your day?" both of them ignored me. Dad gave money but was never truly there even when he was physically. And I was a kid with health issues, I still have some. And all that my mom was ever cared about, is if I was eating or if I took my medications. Food, health and bring good grades and that's it. Every time they tried to give me a life lesson in their eyes, it was always with two guiding words "forbidden" and "duty" and with pointing fingers always when they say it, extremely scary for a little kid. And if I did something that broke their code of behavior, what I got from either was "stupid kid!" or "education less barbaric idiot! How dare you?! This is not how we taught you!" And I said to myself that if I will have kids one day (I have non yet) this is not how I will behave to them or educate them. I resent the way of my parents and I want to make a difference.
This has been by far the most helpful video. If you have any suggestions or books to recommend in regards to guidance and awareness on sex and drugs for teenagers, please share!
i keep hearing stuff about needs being met, but how do you know what your needs are?
Jono, please do therapy for Eric Cartman from South Park. I'd love to see your reaction.
Please react to crazy ex-girlfriend, it's a show about mental illness and the point of view of that person.
It's a comedy and musical, Rachel bloom is the protagonist, co-creator, writer, and songwriter of this show.
She's amazing and the show is amazing! ❤
5/5SYARS⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
PS: Okay, I'd like your opinion on something, guys: one thing I've heard from SOME--though this is rare now--Christian parents is that, if you don't hit your kids, they won't listen to you. I live by three rules: no theft, no waste, no violence, so I think that's...shall we say "unnecessary"? But what are your thoughts?
I remember when I was a kid when my Mum did hit me, I listened out of fear, but I still didn’t really listen because I was actually listening, I listened to avoid getting hurt/yelled at.
Yep. Unnecessary. Its punishing he being for something tgey didnt even know or realise was wrong. It does nothing to actually build good qualities within the child, o ly teaches that they are bad and wrong - Personal experience.
Can you help us try to understand our toddlers and their irrational behaviors. #terribletwos
How would i try to mend/fix a broken relationship with a parent that has major anger issues?
If they hurt you in anyway when they are angry or make you feel unsafe, love them from a distance. If they acknowledge that they struggle with anger and are seeking healthy ways to manage it, then I'd encourage you to reach out if that is what you want to do. I don't know if I answered your question, but I very strongly feel that when considering mending broken relationships, you should always consider if it is safe for you to do so. When I took first-aid class, the first thing they told us to do in any situation was to evaluate the scene for safety before approaching. If that is what we should do when someone's life is on the line, we should do it in any situation that involves our well-being. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Is it wrong for me to feel better about myself to hear your kids threatened each other with a knife? 😁 My kids continue to have some challenging behaviors.
'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' ABSOLUTELY means that you should treat others the way that others want to be treated because you would want others to treat you in the way that you want to be treated. 😊🤍🩶