Imagine being psychopathic enough to genuinely throw away a lifetime together over something you evaluate to meaning "nothing." Imagine thinking explaining things away like that being a good thing. Incredible.
Also it’s how they look at marriage. Marriage should be looked at as a lifetime commitment to build a life with someone while many just use these marriages as like stepping stones
Depends on the person, really. It's kind of rare, as apposed to what Reddit and RUclips would have you think, for someone to get married with the idea that they will cheat. The 7 Year Itch is a real thing, some people just take longer to get the itch. People either just ignore it or talk to their spouse about it. Some people just want to scratch that itch, not giving a damn about what the outcome might be. Some people are so stupid as to think they are somehow a master criminal and can hide anything, meanwhile they are a shoplifter that looks guilty coming the front door.
Because that's life. That's humans. Humans do great things and they do fucked up things. And most of the times those humans are one and the same person. I agree, I wouldn't forgive a cheating spouse myself. But I also won't act like 99% of "people" in this comments section. As if the love for the person never existed all of a sudden, or that they aren't human and capable of making life ending mistakes and not deserving of forgiveness no matter what.
@@gravity00xNo, thats not why, it's usually some form of copium or projection (they are a cheater or got cheated on) or they like the cheater over the cheatee. The cheater isn't the only one allowed to be human. That love might not disappear, but it also won't soothe the pain, betrayel, & lost trust & time. And you can still love a person & forgive them, but still not want to be in a relationship with them. They are not entitled to forgiveness & a relationship, especially after selfishly & avoidably hurting their SO. And personally, most cheaters I've seen were selfish, immature, & acted like they were victims & some even tried to blame their SO for their own actions, so I couldn't care less about humans making mistakes, consequences exist to help us learn, so I'd let them learn from the consequences🤷♀️
I can explain this really simple by citing another cheater story. "I'm right, because I am me and I know I'm right. As such, everything that contradicts this is wrong, because they're not me and I'm right." Now you sprinkle on parental "My baby can't possibly do anything wrong, everyone else is just out to get them!" and you got your explanation. Family usually carry the unconditional love and defense for eachother if they're tight, even if the family member in question are pieces of shit.
Can you explain where exactly the words that you put into my comment come from? Where did I state it's tolerable? I personally have no tolerance for cheaters. Been cheated on in a relationship before and would never think of tolerating them. Even if I wanted to, I couldnt. That has nothing to do with what I said though. Forgiveness is not tollerance. Forgiveness is not a free pass for love. Forgiveness is not a nother chance. Forgiveness is just that, forgiveness. If anything it is the acknowledgement if someone eleses feelings. You can love someone, deplore of all of their actions at the same time and still forgive them. I think most people here have heard of parents and children, if you understand what I'm getting at. The gist of it though, what I was getting at is that it is up to you, how to act when someone hurts you that displays your true character. When the thing that you want the most is no longer attainable in your life. When someone begs me for forgiveness and I think that they are truly sorry, I will give them such. I will not be vindictive, for my own childish and personal pleasure of seeing someone crawl on the floor and take great pride of kicking them, because they have done something quite awful that they never can take back. None of it has anything to do with taking them back or being a vindictive yitib comment warrior. Two wrongs never made a right. @@knightawz
With all due to respect. The things he said to her over and over, he took great pleasure in her suffering. I don't see him as a good person either. The amount of times he took pleasure in her horrifying cires, shows that this person hasn't got a heart of his own. He literally enjoyed torturing her. Just because she did what she did, doesn't give him the right to be a horrible person either. An eye for an eye is this guys entire motto in this situation. I could understand if she showed no remorse whatsoever. But constantly kicking someone in the head while they are already laying on the floor. Man.
@@gravity00x Dont be stupid, the cheater wants some validation and forgiveness, what the OP should do? Forgive and say nothing? Or reason with the stupid cheater? Or let her talk alone? If you think this case is "constantly kicking someone in the head while they are already laying on the floor" you should leave your cave from time to time or read/watch other cases.
@@gravity00x She did much worse to him than he did to her. If he really wanted to hurt her mentally, he could've done other things. This didn't even look like a revenge story. He just sat down with her and explained they wouldn't go back no matter what. It's much better to cut it off cleanly like this than give her false hope anyway.
"she did much worse to him than he did to her." so we measure peoples actions by how much WORSE they are than others? So many peoples internet comments stoop to the lowest of lows in reasoning. She cheated on him, which was horrible, how he abused her mentally afterwards was equally as bad. He should have been the bigger person and just moved on. Instead he stooped to her level like these sensationalist black and white reasoning yutup vindicator comments that are devoid of any morale or value.@@Homiloko2
Ex's Sister: Don't do like me, i ruin my life because of an affair OP's Ex: affair you said? i will do it Ex's Sister: NOO!! don't do it, it will destroy your marriage and life OP's Ex: I WANNA DO IT!!! it won't happen anything wrong* *OP file for divorce* OP's ex: *Surprised Pikachu face*
I'm still wondering about the mental gymnastics there. Sister cheats and loses her fiance and is absolutely miserable about it. Ex somehow becomes infatuated with the idea to the point of convincing herself her husband will be okay with it if he ever found out. Her Marriage was fine, and she really had no reason to do it other than she thought it would be fun. Getting high on Meth sounds fun, but that doesn't mean you do it.
I find it funny how friends and relatives are cursing OP for not giving her a second change; the moment you reverse the role you know they'll tell her to leave the marriage. Such hypocrites.
Thats the way it always is. Man gets berated for not trying to make it work no matter how much it will hurt him. Women in the same case gets told she should flat out leave and deserves better. You can see it plain as day in the comment sections of these stories. Women are a privileged class, don't let anyone ever tell you they're oppressed. Especially not by some imaginary 2024 patriarchy. Everyone will always take their side.
You're right. But family members are like that. At least in some countries. Family will help, protect, and favour their own in all situations. I know I would too.
like one of the dudes in previous videous wrote, advice from his father"you didnt regret when you did something bad, so why feel regret now when you face the consequences" hands down one of the best advice i have ever heard
Why do they always treat the victim like the perpetrator? Deluded romanticism? To soothe their own egos for their own transgressions? It's like the people who attack you for not offering charity whilst never offering their own support. It's easy to proselytise virtues but not so easy to uphold them. "I insist you continue to live in an abusive relationship with a known adulteress who has already proven how little you and your family mea to her." Gee that sounds swell
The ex wife had a very happy marriage, yet wanted a fling. Even though she was getting sex daily from her Husband.. She destroyed her family (Kids will have trauma) and the other woman's marriage with the AP. She broke her own heart in the process, and she broke multiple hearts in the process of people she loves. All she had to do was quit her job, and change to another job to avoid the guy. This is one of those cases the ex wife truly screwed up what she had a Husband that fully trusted her and loved her.. No doubt she knows that replacing him is going to impossible (Most guys do not want cheating ex wife with kids) and knows the Husband has options which probably hurts her even more knowing he stayed faithful even during divorce.
Cheaters dont deserve a second chance. Cheating involves a hell of a ton of lies to keep up, especially if it lasts for months like this. If you've been lying about it for months, how would i trust another word you say?
That is true but cheating shows that u are willing to destroy your relationship with you family which means you deserve your parental rights to be conviscated
True about the money but there are laws to protect even the cheating party because in the past people with money or influence have abuse it to take money or custody from their partner if they don’t agree with the divorce or they want to move on to someone else.
I'm disgusted when I hear that people are cussing the person who got cheated on. Like, if you don't like how things are going, then be with her yourself, otherwise shut your filthy mouth. It's always like this, people who are not even involved have the most to say.
@@twainclarke5755 And that's the right thing to do, would they give a second chance to you? I doubt that, double standards don't work in a fair way. Not giving anyone a second chance is the correct choice.
What's most bewildering is that "her sister's cheating had her obsessed with cheat, so she cheated". wtf? is it to say that after seeing her sister's life destroyed she yearned to do that to her seemingly happy marriage too? Just who are those people? Also, to have a "crush" on someone you have to be open to the idea first, so cheater presenting this as an excuse is revolting to me. If you're stable in your mariage, no crush even comes to mind, and if it does and you entertain it you're already betraying your spouse by not telling them. Those people I swear. In a sense I blame society's messaging about "deserving" stuff, funny how it always comes back to this mentality. Wonder if it was like that for my gramps being married for 60 years.
This is a pretty old (by RUclips standards) story. OP made an update where the wife started to blame the sister for her actions, saying that she always followed what her sister did and it wasn't her fault.
@@murdock94 oh oh, guilty people will do anything I guess lol Though didn't op say the sister berated her for ruining her marriage? What is the wife? Special needs or something?
Don't get me wrong, I've always believed that mistakes deserve second chances as they are often learning opportunities, but cheating is the exception. Trust and faith in the offender has been spit on and broken beyond repair, and can never again be what it once was. It's like crumpling up a picture of someone; sure you can unfold it and try smooth it out enough to see what it once was, but it will never look remotely the same to you.
As much as it must absolutely destroy the man to do this, it's the right thing to do. An action, once done, cannot be undone, the consequences of infidelity cannot be avoided or circumvented. There is either separation, or the relationship is trivialised.
i doubt it was crocodile tears, she trully regrets. But it is theguy's right to say "i can't trust you anymore" and reject her begging for forgiveness.
I've heard so many of these stories now that they're blending together Edit:Damn I'm being indirectly flamed in my replies. Trust me when I say this not all women cheat and if you think that you're an idiot or an incel.
Can't stand people who angrily lecture others about how a cheater just made a mistake and not forgiving them is heartless and horrific. Like, I can get asking someone in a conciliatory manner to try and forgive their partner, but imo that decision should be completely up to them. They have absolutely NO obligation to forgive their partner if they decide not to. Tbh I suspect anyone who gets aggressive and slanderous about someone who doesnt forgive their cheating partner, is also a cheater themselves (or would intend to be one if an enticing opportunity arose)
How can You have a "crush" when You already found The love of your life? I Will never guet married, this stupid people are just hurting their children.
Because crushes fade, butterflies fade. Love is not a feeling, love is the commitment to a relationship and the other persons wellbeing/happiness. Those two are not the same. Sometimes you lose perspective of the greater things in the short term when everything becomes, stale, mundane and robotic. Obviously not an excuse to do anything but I can certainly follow the reasoning. She wanted to be in love again, feel somewhat alive and sacrificed her marriage over it, to then end up regretting it bitterly. That's life. There is no such thing as black and white as in the youtube comments.
It's always sad to see that women only start putting effort into loving and caring about their man after they got caught cheating. Like offering him a one-sided open marriage. Hell of a move. It's like she really does want to fix things. So why neglect him for seven months while sneaking off to suck another guy off? Why not show him that kind of dedication in the first place?
I think they do it for the thrill, of knowing whether or not they’ll get caught and/or if they can get away with it. But be “COMPLETELY SURPRISED“ when they DO get caught. It’s so mentally draining at this point.
I blame him for telling her about Monica. That's stupid and gave her more ammo, not less. He truly does hate her, wants to hurt her (which he lied about), and does want to destroy her. And that will be his undoing. Just take action, don't talk about it. Just get divorced, don't play emotional games. Get it over with and move on. Getting her so upset that she has a nosebleed does nothing to help his standing here. He is a victim and I feel for him, there, but he needs to stop playing games and just move on. This will affect the kids and they're the most innocent of them all. If you're getting divorced, just do it. Putting the screws to people out of revenge never really works out.
Once again when a woman cheats she should be punished the same way a when a man cheats. Most of the time people say equality is everything but if you toss them a situation like this their opinions change fast and warp up excuses that shouldn't be made no matter what the situation is.
Crazy thing is courts payout cheating women the same % that a woman who got cheated on gets. Honestly the laws should strictly favor the spouse who got cheated on
@@flexjohnson18 facts like what's the whole of gender equality when no equality is served when women get lighter punishments for doing something wrong when men do it they get the maximum
I remember this story and all the post this op and op's wife did. In the end her acting like a stroke, out thing in her favor for op walking the doormat path. A shame he gave in and didn't went through with the divorce. He post is just an endless pity party and excuses for her selfish and stupid behavior.
I will never respect people that try to guilt others into staying in a relationship where they are the victim just because it makes their lives easier.
Lol this always blows my mind. She literally admit that she wasn't unhappy in her marriage. He was a good husband, good father. She just developed a crush on some guy and decided to act on it and convinced herself it was OK. Unbelievable lol
For anyone interested, I read OP's comments and they are from 3 years ago, looks like things didn't work out with Monica after the first date, he took his wife back and they are doing counseling, the divorce is on-hold.
4:46 Her motivation could be that your financially supporting her and because you want a divorce there goes her money or for some reason she didn’t expect this to happen, maybe she thought she could always keep it a secret and keep her happy life but now that you know she’s trying to fix what she broke and finding that she can’t fix it.
Ex was a leech, and only wanted someone to use and take advantage of. Once she sees he’s happy she backpedals and can’t handle it. These women are really emotional monsters.
Remember folks, infidelity is contagious if not specifically addressed as potentially contagious. Once the taboo is encountered in your personal life it becomes much harder to resist the temptation yourself.
This is what made me feel like this story is entirely made up. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody! falls asleep AT THEIR COMPUTER with their FACE on their KEYBOARD. It's like the author hasn't lived life yet and comes from a cartoon.
I started to see a lot of married people who cheat and it hurts and I hope I can get a wife who is truthful worthy fateful and I hope I can get kids who are mine and get a girlfriend/wife
I hope you can get that as well, please just remember it goes both ways. You should also then stay faithful and have self-control. I see so many men say that cheating is fine for them, they just want variety etc and it's really disgusting. Just like you want loyalty, she wants loyalty as well. Cheating WILL HURT HER and she might stay with you and "forgive" you but she will never see you in the same way again, she will never respect you as she did, she will never truly trust you. If you get a good wife, and I hope you do (I know there are many bad woman as well as bad men), please just cherish her. Trust me, cheating shatters a heart.
Advice for this (admittedly, there are exceptions to everything, but these are good general rules of thumb): do not try to find her at a bar or a nightclub, they are cesspool of shitty people. Avoid 99% of dating apps, they’re just hook up apps with a nicer name. A fair amount of people on Tinder are married, they just tend not to disclose that in their profiles. I would also advise you to avoid any woman that speaks positively about “progressive“ relationships, such as open marriages, and such, like the plague. Also avoid any woman that needs constant attention and validation, who is constantly on social media, seeking those things. Another one: this will probably get me some hate, but avoid feminists. Very few of them are actual feminists, they just hate men and use that label. It will not be difficult for someone who acts that way, and thinks that way to convince herself, or allow her friends to convince her, that, stepping outside of your marriage is something that she deserves, because of “empowerment“ or some other bullshit. expanding on that rule, avoid any woman that feels the need to compete with you for dominance in the relationship. They are difficult to find in today’s world, but there are good women out there. Just be smart about where you look; Don’t reach into a septic tank, hoping to pull out a diamond.
@ccsweetypie gen z and millennial women closed and took over the cheating gap so likely if hes from those generations the woman will likely do the cheating
Op and his wife got back together, him and Monica didn’t work out. Someone said in an earlier comment that op and his wife went to counseling and are reconciling 😭
"Cheaters will ALWAYS support other cheaters." OP should say that to those POS family members who are insisting OP give the cheating spouse another chance. That'll shut them up real quick...
If this story is true, then gentlemen we have come across the best husband I have ever heard of in a long time. Dude even tried to surpress the emotions and think about the issue logically. Made lists, asked questions, even tried to understand her "cheating mentality" if there was ever such a thing. If even a Brilliant husband of this calibre can't keep his wife from cheating... Then I'm afraid that no one can. But I truly believe she has no clue why she did what she did. Because women don't know what they want, they just want whatever society tells them to want. It sounds ridiculous i know.
Whenever a cheater's family and friends start badgering the wronged partner to give the cheater a second chance, I'd seriously ask them if that's what they would do if they were in my shoes. I guarantee that even the ones that say yes, there'd probably be a bit of hesitation before giving that answer. I can imagine that most of the people that would do this have probably cheated themselves.
Understand his confusion. People with integrity have a hard time understanding this. The answer is the ex is selfish. She wanted her exciting forbidden AP and her loving nurturing supportive stable loyal husband. She probably thought she was entitled to it. That it made her happy so it was good for everyone and that OP would never find out. You know the happy wife happy life fallacy. Expecting everyone to cater to a wife and somehow that makes everyone happy. Seems to just make a spoiled entitled selfish person. Not that having a happy wife or trying to be good to one is bad, just that the concept that one person's happiness is more important than everyone else's and should occur even at the expense of others happiness especially the ones who love you is a bad idea.
How can people suggest to give second chance when he gets a freepass on alamoni and maybe gets the kids so she has to pay child support because of her mental state. If it was him who cheated "get him gurl! His house, alamoni, child support" "mhmmm leave him on the streets! Thats what he deserves gurlll"... It's so stupid.
Opinions vary, best thing to do is ignore them because you will win and lose regardless of what you chose. Reconcile? Some will call you the bigger man and a saint, others will call you a cuck. Divorce? You will be called insecure and a coward and also a man with strong moral values that does not allow others to walk all over him. Best ignore internet advice, you will hear from both your allies an enemies at the same time. Being confused and asking for a second opinion is helpful, being confused and asking for all the opinions... well... there is such a thing as backwards progression.
I thought I have felt the pain of ( Driving A Dagger Through My Heart) numerous of times but boy!!! Was I wrong. The day I found out my ex cheated was the day I felt that pain. It literally felt like an invisible hand going through my chest, grabbing onto my heart and just squeezed it non-stop. Might feel different for others but I will have to say, it's a type of pain that I wouldn't even wish....upon my worst enemy. That pain shouldn't have been created for human beings.....
If you're ever put in a position where your cheating spouse's friends and family tries to guilt you into taking back the trash, just tell them to come back and repeat the same thing they said after having their own spouse's fing another person.
Op asked too many questions and now im questioning reality and myental integrity . Atleast it sounds like a human wrote it but still kinda bugging . Love the story though. hope the dudes happy.
Never got why friends and relatives would want the cheated on spouse to give the cheater a 2nd chance. For the most part they do. They give em time and time again to end the affair counciling and to show remorse but nope. If anything thats like the 6th or 20th chance. Like at that point f that. Id also NC with anyone who supports the cheaters or keeps nagging "2nd" chances
idk why but to me, it makes it worse when cheaters say shit like, "it meant nothing to me". like, all u did was ruin the relationship for no reason. id much rather they had an affair and actually loved the ap so i can know that theres nothing to do instead of them just having them fun and expecting their partner to wait for them
If what OP said is accurate, very little. He had already started the process with the lawyer weeks before. Meeting Monica only pushed him to get the confrontation for divorce over with a bit sooner before the paperwork was set.
i will never understand why when someone in a relationship ends up in love with someone else.... why can't you just sit down with your partner tell them that you don't feel to be in love with them anymore and peacefully move on... like communication people! it's not as difficult as we make it all to see-
I think the reason why some people cheat is because they feel like they have power and comfort! Once they have that comfort, they abuse it and feel like they someone to fall back on!
We actually have her side of the story. She knew he was in pain, noticed his small gestures, and noticed he stopped giving gifts, the woman was in so much denial the talk he had with her made her world fall upon her.
She was in her cheaters fog where there’s no consequences. She’s not mad the marriage is over just that she doesn’t have her safety net anymore. She’s not worth any time or effort.
Yes, I had watched both a while ago and only realised they were about each other. Her sister made told her to post on reddit. I went to reddit and I think they are back together. She did take the post down, and her husband told her to post it back up, to warn anyone who wants to think about cheating and the consequences
@@Erick-zg6qryes, they’re back together, they’re in marriage counseling 😭. I really wish Op had just gotten a divorce. I’ve seen several comments saying that op and his wife got back together and that op and Monica didn’t end up working out
@@Erick-zg6qr yes, OP’s wife posted her side of the story and I think there was an update from op. Many people in the comments said that they saw OP’s wife’s post and that they saw the update, but none of they left the link to the update or the wife’s post, so I’m not sure if it’s still on Reddit
It's a good thing the husband didn't give his cheating wife 2nd chance, I don't understand why people get married then just spend years their partners then cheat on them & then attempt to win them back, like if you don't wanna lose your partner, then don't betray them!
if this were me my argument is that even if she was sincere i would never give a second chance cause i would be just contributing to infidelity by enabling it. infidelity cant be fixed with second chances, its something that must be left behind or it will spread, cause if people know they get a second chance they will take it, you can forgive but you also can also uphold standards, that infidelity is unacceptable, if she repents she can seek redemption alone, she and everyone else should only be allowed to have one chance at companionship, if you cant hold commitments then your better off alone.
"She said life is too short to not take risks and opportunities when they present themselves" I don't know how else to say this but that mentality Monica is one of 2 people A. Someone who will probably end up dying while ok vacation B. A pathological cheater
She's not crying cause she cheated, she's crying cause her safety net (OP) is leaving her. She's a cake eater. She wanted to stay married to you cause you helped take care of the kids and keep the household in order and she got to have her fun with her AP. Now that your leaving, she knows her lifestyle is about to change forever and she's scared
I said the same, yet is also a smart move because he doesn't want her to have ammunition to accuse him of anything. Modern women are really vindictive now days since judge and jury tend to favorite them when they put an act.
I love how literally every cheater says the affair “meant nothing to me.”
Well, it sure as shit meant something to the person you betrayed.
Yeah... she basically destroyed their marriage over "nothing."
Different if it's the guy vs the girl. Men are hard wired that way, women are trying to date up
Even worse
They cheated and broke their family for...nothing 💀💀💀
@@mortaldao8044Doesn't really matter, cheating is cheating.
Imagine being psychopathic enough to genuinely throw away a lifetime together over something you evaluate to meaning "nothing."
Imagine thinking explaining things away like that being a good thing.
Incredible.
I wondered why people get married if their just going to be unfaithful. Then I realized that people want a safety net/back up.
also the fact that when woman cheat they still get everything unless the husband had a plan
Fr
they have different perspective of marriage, which is worst
Also it’s how they look at marriage. Marriage should be looked at as a lifetime commitment to build a life with someone while many just use these marriages as like stepping stones
Depends on the person, really. It's kind of rare, as apposed to what Reddit and RUclips would have you think, for someone to get married with the idea that they will cheat. The 7 Year Itch is a real thing, some people just take longer to get the itch. People either just ignore it or talk to their spouse about it. Some people just want to scratch that itch, not giving a damn about what the outcome might be. Some people are so stupid as to think they are somehow a master criminal and can hide anything, meanwhile they are a shoplifter that looks guilty coming the front door.
why do the family members get mad and say the cheaters deserve a second chance when they know they wouldnt take that!
Because that's life. That's humans. Humans do great things and they do fucked up things. And most of the times those humans are one and the same person. I agree, I wouldn't forgive a cheating spouse myself. But I also won't act like 99% of "people" in this comments section. As if the love for the person never existed all of a sudden, or that they aren't human and capable of making life ending mistakes and not deserving of forgiveness no matter what.
@@gravity00xNo, thats not why, it's usually some form of copium or projection (they are a cheater or got cheated on) or they like the cheater over the cheatee.
The cheater isn't the only one allowed to be human. That love might not disappear, but it also won't soothe the pain, betrayel, & lost trust & time. And you can still love a person & forgive them, but still not want to be in a relationship with them. They are not entitled to forgiveness & a relationship, especially after selfishly & avoidably hurting their SO.
And personally, most cheaters I've seen were selfish, immature, & acted like they were victims & some even tried to blame their SO for their own actions, so I couldn't care less about humans making mistakes, consequences exist to help us learn, so I'd let them learn from the consequences🤷♀️
I can explain this really simple by citing another cheater story.
"I'm right, because I am me and I know I'm right. As such, everything that contradicts this is wrong, because they're not me and I'm right."
Now you sprinkle on parental "My baby can't possibly do anything wrong, everyone else is just out to get them!" and you got your explanation.
Family usually carry the unconditional love and defense for eachother if they're tight, even if the family member in question are pieces of shit.
@@gravity00x nah cheating is one time that is not tolerable. The minute someone betrays me they are dead to me. They mean nothing
Can you explain where exactly the words that you put into my comment come from? Where did I state it's tolerable? I personally have no tolerance for cheaters. Been cheated on in a relationship before and would never think of tolerating them. Even if I wanted to, I couldnt. That has nothing to do with what I said though. Forgiveness is not tollerance. Forgiveness is not a free pass for love. Forgiveness is not a nother chance. Forgiveness is just that, forgiveness. If anything it is the acknowledgement if someone eleses feelings. You can love someone, deplore of all of their actions at the same time and still forgive them. I think most people here have heard of parents and children, if you understand what I'm getting at. The gist of it though, what I was getting at is that it is up to you, how to act when someone hurts you that displays your true character. When the thing that you want the most is no longer attainable in your life. When someone begs me for forgiveness and I think that they are truly sorry, I will give them such. I will not be vindictive, for my own childish and personal pleasure of seeing someone crawl on the floor and take great pride of kicking them, because they have done something quite awful that they never can take back. None of it has anything to do with taking them back or being a vindictive yitib comment warrior. Two wrongs never made a right. @@knightawz
It takes strength to leave a marriage but it takes even more strength to leave a marriage without trying to destroy the other person, big ups my man
🗿🗿🗿
With all due to respect. The things he said to her over and over, he took great pleasure in her suffering. I don't see him as a good person either. The amount of times he took pleasure in her horrifying cires, shows that this person hasn't got a heart of his own. He literally enjoyed torturing her. Just because she did what she did, doesn't give him the right to be a horrible person either. An eye for an eye is this guys entire motto in this situation. I could understand if she showed no remorse whatsoever. But constantly kicking someone in the head while they are already laying on the floor. Man.
@@gravity00x Dont be stupid, the cheater wants some validation and forgiveness, what the OP should do? Forgive and say nothing? Or reason with the stupid cheater? Or let her talk alone? If you think this case is "constantly kicking someone in the head while they are already laying on the floor" you should leave your cave from time to time or read/watch other cases.
@@gravity00x She did much worse to him than he did to her. If he really wanted to hurt her mentally, he could've done other things. This didn't even look like a revenge story. He just sat down with her and explained they wouldn't go back no matter what. It's much better to cut it off cleanly like this than give her false hope anyway.
"she did much worse to him than he did to her." so we measure peoples actions by how much WORSE they are than others? So many peoples internet comments stoop to the lowest of lows in reasoning. She cheated on him, which was horrible, how he abused her mentally afterwards was equally as bad. He should have been the bigger person and just moved on. Instead he stooped to her level like these sensationalist black and white reasoning yutup vindicator comments that are devoid of any morale or value.@@Homiloko2
Ex's Sister: Don't do like me, i ruin my life because of an affair
OP's Ex: affair you said? i will do it
Ex's Sister: NOO!! don't do it, it will destroy your marriage and life
OP's Ex: I WANNA DO IT!!! it won't happen anything wrong*
*OP file for divorce*
OP's ex: *Surprised Pikachu face*
😂😂😂 surprised Pikachu got me
@@Nameless82284 Welp! she didn't think that one through either.
@@Nameless82284 BOTH. EX's Sister and OP's ex.
I'm still wondering about the mental gymnastics there. Sister cheats and loses her fiance and is absolutely miserable about it. Ex somehow becomes infatuated with the idea to the point of convincing herself her husband will be okay with it if he ever found out. Her Marriage was fine, and she really had no reason to do it other than she thought it would be fun. Getting high on Meth sounds fun, but that doesn't mean you do it.
@@Olimar92 Its like playing chess while a Tiger is trying to eat you. Did she think it was a good idea to do it? she was some levels of dumb.
this guy turned such a life destroying situation into a positive aspect. I respect him for being so strong and positive.
I find it funny how friends and relatives are cursing OP for not giving her a second change; the moment you reverse the role you know they'll tell her to leave the marriage. Such hypocrites.
Thats the way it always is. Man gets berated for not trying to make it work no matter how much it will hurt him. Women in the same case gets told she should flat out leave and deserves better. You can see it plain as day in the comment sections of these stories. Women are a privileged class, don't let anyone ever tell you they're oppressed. Especially not by some imaginary 2024 patriarchy. Everyone will always take their side.
You're right. But family members are like that. At least in some countries. Family will help, protect, and favour their own in all situations. I know I would too.
like one of the dudes in previous videous wrote, advice from his father"you didnt regret when you did something bad, so why feel regret now when you face the consequences" hands down one of the best advice i have ever heard
Why do they always treat the victim like the perpetrator? Deluded romanticism? To soothe their own egos for their own transgressions? It's like the people who attack you for not offering charity whilst never offering their own support. It's easy to proselytise virtues but not so easy to uphold them. "I insist you continue to live in an abusive relationship with a known adulteress who has already proven how little you and your family mea to her." Gee that sounds swell
Bruh she overheard him talk to his kids about them separating and acts surprised when he tells her he wants to separate
The ex wife had a very happy marriage, yet wanted a fling. Even though she was getting sex daily from her Husband.. She destroyed her family (Kids will have trauma) and the other woman's marriage with the AP. She broke her own heart in the process, and she broke multiple hearts in the process of people she loves.
All she had to do was quit her job, and change to another job to avoid the guy.
This is one of those cases the ex wife truly screwed up what she had a Husband that fully trusted her and loved her.. No doubt she knows that replacing him is going to impossible (Most guys do not want cheating ex wife with kids) and knows the Husband has options which probably hurts her even more knowing he stayed faithful even during divorce.
Or just grow a spine and tell him "i'm married, we're not happening"
Cheaters dont deserve a second chance. Cheating involves a hell of a ton of lies to keep up, especially if it lasts for months like this. If you've been lying about it for months, how would i trust another word you say?
I think in a marriage if one party cheats and they divorce the cheating party should get 0% custody and no alimony
Yeah but OP doesn't want that.
He wants her to still see her children.
That is true but cheating shows that u are willing to destroy your relationship with you family which means you deserve your parental rights to be conviscated
Some states are pretty much vagina wins every case even if they cheat and that's why women are dominating the cheating
and forced child support.
True about the money but there are laws to protect even the cheating party because in the past people with money or influence have abuse it to take money or custody from their partner if they don’t agree with the divorce or they want to move on to someone else.
I'm disgusted when I hear that people are cussing the person who got cheated on. Like, if you don't like how things are going, then be with her yourself, otherwise shut your filthy mouth. It's always like this, people who are not even involved have the most to say.
I will never give anyone second chances to do the same thing.
@@twainclarke5755 And that's the right thing to do, would they give a second chance to you? I doubt that, double standards don't work in a fair way. Not giving anyone a second chance is the correct choice.
What's most bewildering is that "her sister's cheating had her obsessed with cheat, so she cheated". wtf?
is it to say that after seeing her sister's life destroyed she yearned to do that to her seemingly happy marriage too? Just who are those people?
Also, to have a "crush" on someone you have to be open to the idea first, so cheater presenting this as an excuse is revolting to me.
If you're stable in your mariage, no crush even comes to mind, and if it does and you entertain it you're already betraying your spouse by not telling them.
Those people I swear. In a sense I blame society's messaging about "deserving" stuff, funny how it always comes back to this mentality. Wonder if it was like that for my gramps being married for 60 years.
This is a pretty old (by RUclips standards) story. OP made an update where the wife started to blame the sister for her actions, saying that she always followed what her sister did and it wasn't her fault.
Women are a hivemind. The more they claim they aren't, the more they sound like parrots.
@@murdock94 oh oh, guilty people will do anything I guess lol
Though didn't op say the sister berated her for ruining her marriage? What is the wife? Special needs or something?
@@murdock94 So she failed the accountability challenge in the end? What a surprise lmao.
@@murdock94 Are you sure? I found the post and there weren't any further updates.
Don't get me wrong, I've always believed that mistakes deserve second chances as they are often learning opportunities, but cheating is the exception. Trust and faith in the offender has been spit on and broken beyond repair, and can never again be what it once was. It's like crumpling up a picture of someone; sure you can unfold it and try smooth it out enough to see what it once was, but it will never look remotely the same to you.
I love how everyone else who is not part of the relationship and has not felt the pain tell you to give your cheating spouse a second chance.
Just becase she regrets it doesnt mean its right to reconcile.
As much as it must absolutely destroy the man to do this, it's the right thing to do. An action, once done, cannot be undone, the consequences of infidelity cannot be avoided or circumvented. There is either separation, or the relationship is trivialised.
She only shed fake crocodile tears when she found out you'd seak happiness
i doubt it was crocodile tears, she trully regrets.
But it is theguy's right to say "i can't trust you anymore" and reject her begging for forgiveness.
I've heard so many of these stories now that they're blending together
Edit:Damn I'm being indirectly flamed in my replies. Trust me when I say this not all women cheat and if you think that you're an idiot or an incel.
I think this is a reupload.
yeah exactly
they cheat then said it ment nth to them and so on 💀. then they beg and so on
you arent alone brother they become more nondescript everyday
That's because all women are the same deep down. It's just the coat of paint that's different.
@@TheStraightestWhitest I don't think so
Can't stand people who angrily lecture others about how a cheater just made a mistake and not forgiving them is heartless and horrific. Like, I can get asking someone in a conciliatory manner to try and forgive their partner, but imo that decision should be completely up to them. They have absolutely NO obligation to forgive their partner if they decide not to.
Tbh I suspect anyone who gets aggressive and slanderous about someone who doesnt forgive their cheating partner, is also a cheater themselves (or would intend to be one if an enticing opportunity arose)
How can You have a "crush" when You already found The love of your life?
I Will never guet married, this stupid people are just hurting their children.
Because crushes fade, butterflies fade. Love is not a feeling, love is the commitment to a relationship and the other persons wellbeing/happiness. Those two are not the same. Sometimes you lose perspective of the greater things in the short term when everything becomes, stale, mundane and robotic. Obviously not an excuse to do anything but I can certainly follow the reasoning. She wanted to be in love again, feel somewhat alive and sacrificed her marriage over it, to then end up regretting it bitterly. That's life. There is no such thing as black and white as in the youtube comments.
It's always sad to see that women only start putting effort into loving and caring about their man after they got caught cheating. Like offering him a one-sided open marriage. Hell of a move. It's like she really does want to fix things. So why neglect him for seven months while sneaking off to suck another guy off? Why not show him that kind of dedication in the first place?
I think they do it for the thrill, of knowing whether or not they’ll get caught and/or if they can get away with it. But be “COMPLETELY SURPRISED“ when they DO get caught. It’s so mentally draining at this point.
She legit only wanted him when she realised he was going to be with someone else.
dude deadass told his kids they were splitting up in front of her and she felt nothing. no reaction up until she found out he spoke to a girl
I swear cheaters are just addicted to the risk
I think a lot of them get of on the thrill of "almost getting caught", think it gives them a sense of power
I blame him for telling her about Monica. That's stupid and gave her more ammo, not less. He truly does hate her, wants to hurt her (which he lied about), and does want to destroy her.
And that will be his undoing. Just take action, don't talk about it. Just get divorced, don't play emotional games.
Get it over with and move on. Getting her so upset that she has a nosebleed does nothing to help his standing here.
He is a victim and I feel for him, there, but he needs to stop playing games and just move on. This will affect the kids and they're the most innocent of them all.
If you're getting divorced, just do it. Putting the screws to people out of revenge never really works out.
Once again when a woman cheats she should be punished the same way a when a man cheats. Most of the time people say equality is everything but if you toss them a situation like this their opinions change fast and warp up excuses that shouldn't be made no matter what the situation is.
Crazy thing is courts payout cheating women the same % that a woman who got cheated on gets. Honestly the laws should strictly favor the spouse who got cheated on
@@flexjohnson18 facts like what's the whole of gender equality when no equality is served when women get lighter punishments for doing something wrong when men do it they get the maximum
@@flexjohnson18 gotta get a good jew lawyer to write your prenup
I remember this story and all the post this op and op's wife did. In the end her acting like a stroke, out thing in her favor for op walking the doormat path. A shame he gave in and didn't went through with the divorce. He post is just an endless pity party and excuses for her selfish and stupid behavior.
I don't think this is it, but I might be wrong. Send link?
@@needs_more_dakka5774can’t link on j tube
I will never respect people that try to guilt others into staying in a relationship where they are the victim just because it makes their lives easier.
Lol this always blows my mind. She literally admit that she wasn't unhappy in her marriage. He was a good husband, good father. She just developed a crush on some guy and decided to act on it and convinced herself it was OK. Unbelievable lol
For anyone interested, I read OP's comments and they are from 3 years ago, looks like things didn't work out with Monica after the first date, he took his wife back and they are doing counseling, the divorce is on-hold.
oh op is indeed stupid and a doormat
Lmaooo what a doormat
Stay strong brother! You're doing everything right. Good luck!
4:46 Her motivation could be that your financially supporting her and because you want a divorce there goes her money or for some reason she didn’t expect this to happen, maybe she thought she could always keep it a secret and keep her happy life but now that you know she’s trying to fix what she broke and finding that she can’t fix it.
Hats off to this guy. A gentleman from beginning to end.
It sounds fake but i know this stuff actually happens,
Funny thing is some reddit stories sound like shit that happens where im from (*chicago*)
This guy is good. Waiting until divorce is better than cheat while the process of divorce. He didn't lower himself to her lvl.
Ex was a leech, and only wanted someone to use and take advantage of. Once she sees he’s happy she backpedals and can’t handle it. These women are really emotional monsters.
Remember folks, infidelity is contagious if not specifically addressed as potentially contagious. Once the taboo is encountered in your personal life it becomes much harder to resist the temptation yourself.
so what exactly counts as an "Interesting Keyboard pattern" on his face ?? there are variations to this ?
Dude woke up with "cuck" imprinted on his face
This is what made me feel like this story is entirely made up. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody! falls asleep AT THEIR COMPUTER with their FACE on their KEYBOARD. It's like the author hasn't lived life yet and comes from a cartoon.
I started to see a lot of married people who cheat and it hurts and I hope I can get a wife who is truthful worthy fateful and I hope I can get kids who are mine and get a girlfriend/wife
I hope you can get that as well, please just remember it goes both ways. You should also then stay faithful and have self-control. I see so many men say that cheating is fine for them, they just want variety etc and it's really disgusting. Just like you want loyalty, she wants loyalty as well. Cheating WILL HURT HER and she might stay with you and "forgive" you but she will never see you in the same way again, she will never respect you as she did, she will never truly trust you. If you get a good wife, and I hope you do (I know there are many bad woman as well as bad men), please just cherish her. Trust me, cheating shatters a heart.
Advice for this (admittedly, there are exceptions to everything, but these are good general rules of thumb): do not try to find her at a bar or a nightclub, they are cesspool of shitty people. Avoid 99% of dating apps, they’re just hook up apps with a nicer name. A fair amount of people on Tinder are married, they just tend not to disclose that in their profiles.
I would also advise you to avoid any woman that speaks positively about “progressive“ relationships, such as open marriages, and such, like the plague. Also avoid any woman that needs constant attention and validation, who is constantly on social media, seeking those things.
Another one: this will probably get me some hate, but avoid feminists. Very few of them are actual feminists, they just hate men and use that label. It will not be difficult for someone who acts that way, and thinks that way to convince herself, or allow her friends to convince her, that, stepping outside of your marriage is something that she deserves, because of “empowerment“ or some other bullshit. expanding on that rule, avoid any woman that feels the need to compete with you for dominance in the relationship.
They are difficult to find in today’s world, but there are good women out there. Just be smart about where you look; Don’t reach into a septic tank, hoping to pull out a diamond.
@ccsweetypie gen z and millennial women closed and took over the cheating gap so likely if hes from those generations the woman will likely do the cheating
She took him for granted and it exploded in her face
Just like the affair partner
Op and his wife got back together, him and Monica didn’t work out. Someone said in an earlier comment that op and his wife went to counseling and are reconciling 😭
"She can't possibly that stupid can she ?" Boy let me tell ya.....
Remember this. Cheaaters do not care if they hurt you. Its about them always. They are just moving train wrecks plain and simple.
I've been hurt once when I was very young. It has left me bitter and untrusting of everyone. I thought "I'll never let anyone hurt me ever again".
"Cheaters will ALWAYS support other cheaters." OP should say that to those POS family members who are insisting OP give the cheating spouse another chance.
That'll shut them up real quick...
If this story is true, then gentlemen we have come across the best husband I have ever heard of in a long time.
Dude even tried to surpress the emotions and think about the issue logically.
Made lists, asked questions, even tried to understand her "cheating mentality" if there was ever such a thing.
If even a Brilliant husband of this calibre can't keep his wife from cheating... Then I'm afraid that no one can.
But I truly believe she has no clue why she did what she did.
Because women don't know what they want, they just want whatever society tells them to want.
It sounds ridiculous i know.
The cheating spouses never like facing consequences. They never 👎 think about it before hand
Whenever a cheater's family and friends start badgering the wronged partner to give the cheater a second chance, I'd seriously ask them if that's what they would do if they were in my shoes. I guarantee that even the ones that say yes, there'd probably be a bit of hesitation before giving that answer. I can imagine that most of the people that would do this have probably cheated themselves.
Understand his confusion. People with integrity have a hard time understanding this. The answer is the ex is selfish. She wanted her exciting forbidden AP and her loving nurturing supportive stable loyal husband. She probably thought she was entitled to it. That it made her happy so it was good for everyone and that OP would never find out.
You know the happy wife happy life fallacy. Expecting everyone to cater to a wife and somehow that makes everyone happy. Seems to just make a spoiled entitled selfish person. Not that having a happy wife or trying to be good to one is bad, just that the concept that one person's happiness is more important than everyone else's and should occur even at the expense of others happiness especially the ones who love you is a bad idea.
How can people suggest to give second chance when he gets a freepass on alamoni and maybe gets the kids so she has to pay child support because of her mental state. If it was him who cheated "get him gurl! His house, alamoni, child support" "mhmmm leave him on the streets! Thats what he deserves gurlll"... It's so stupid.
This bro has to use less questionmarks
What? do you? mean?
Sister: "dont have an affair it will ruin your life"
Xw: *has affair*
Also xw when it ruins her life: "NANIII?!?!?!"
The only winner here is the divorce lawyer.
Opinions vary, best thing to do is ignore them because you will win and lose regardless of what you chose.
Reconcile? Some will call you the bigger man and a saint, others will call you a cuck.
Divorce? You will be called insecure and a coward and also a man with strong moral values that does not allow others to walk all over him.
Best ignore internet advice, you will hear from both your allies an enemies at the same time. Being confused and asking for a second opinion is helpful, being confused and asking for all the opinions... well... there is such a thing as backwards progression.
The most realistic post I've listened to for a while.
"It meant nothing"
All I can think of is Star Killer against Darth Vader
"Your feelings... are not real"
"THEY ARE REAL TO ME"
I thought I have felt the pain of ( Driving A Dagger Through My Heart) numerous of times but boy!!! Was I wrong. The day I found out my ex cheated was the day I felt that pain. It literally felt like an invisible hand going through my chest, grabbing onto my heart and just squeezed it non-stop. Might feel different for others but I will have to say, it's a type of pain that I wouldn't even wish....upon my worst enemy. That pain shouldn't have been created for human beings.....
If you're ever put in a position where your cheating spouse's friends and family tries to guilt you into taking back the trash, just tell them to come back and repeat the same thing they said after having their own spouse's fing another person.
Op asked too many questions and now im questioning reality and myental integrity .
Atleast it sounds like a human wrote it but still kinda bugging .
Love the story though. hope the dudes happy.
Wow, two of the most passive aggressive people. You’re a perfect match. Stay together.
How was he passive aggressive?
I can't STAND these friends and family members who call victim blaming and belittling. Seems like a theme in alot of cheating stories.
Never got why friends and relatives would want the cheated on spouse to give the cheater a 2nd chance.
For the most part they do. They give em time and time again to end the affair counciling and to show remorse but nope.
If anything thats like the 6th or 20th chance. Like at that point f that.
Id also NC with anyone who supports the cheaters or keeps nagging "2nd" chances
Cheaters will continue to cheat until you wreck them and leave.
1:02, How come when I do that I get in trouble...? 😒
If I'm not mistaken, I think the cheating wife also posted her side of events on Reddit.
Do you have the link?
@tristinsasse4558 have you found it?
idk why but to me, it makes it worse when cheaters say shit like, "it meant nothing to me". like, all u did was ruin the relationship for no reason. id much rather they had an affair and actually loved the ap so i can know that theres nothing to do instead of them just having them fun and expecting their partner to wait for them
Why people always blame the victim. Goah darn it.
I have a mixed feeling about it cuz op isn't breaking it for himself but for a girl he met again. .. That's not a good type of resolve
I wonder if "Monica" is not in the picture, how would his reaction change?
If what OP said is accurate, very little. He had already started the process with the lawyer weeks before. Meeting Monica only pushed him to get the confrontation for divorce over with a bit sooner before the paperwork was set.
i will never understand why when someone in a relationship ends up in love with someone else.... why can't you just sit down with your partner tell them that you don't feel to be in love with them anymore and peacefully move on... like communication people! it's not as difficult as we make it all to see-
Two words: Safety net
Bro right here truly has no enemies 🗿😮💨
Bro said "I don't want to see your fucking face again" in the calmest way possible😮
This is why i say if you ever feel the want to cheat you probably shouldn't be in a relationship.
For those looking for an update:
They reconciled 4 months later. They are all living together along with his SIL.
I think the reason why some people cheat is because they feel like they have power and comfort! Once they have that comfort, they abuse it and feel like they someone to fall back on!
Cheaters usually take people for granted.
To answer op to a question he did multiple times: "Is she that stupid?" The answer is yes.
About her relatives calling him... I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
prolly the most depressing cheating story ive heard on this channel yet
After seeing so many of these stories on Reddit, all I can say is no man should ever get married again, it’s not worth the risk.
*"How can we get back the relationship we had?"*
I don't know, how do you get back a building you burned down?
She had a perfectly good marriage but she cheated. LMAO. Crying crocodile tears.
If "Are you really that stupid" was a betrayed spouse lol
The writing is fucking exquisite
Or whatever that word means
We actually have her side of the story. She knew he was in pain, noticed his small gestures, and noticed he stopped giving gifts, the woman was in so much denial the talk he had with her made her world fall upon her.
OP should definitely use more question marks.
She was in her cheaters fog where there’s no consequences. She’s not mad the marriage is over just that she doesn’t have her safety net anymore. She’s not worth any time or effort.
Guys like this get cheated on because they are so much of a doormat.
They’re not ready for that conversation lol
Those family members demanding that OP give his stbew a chance would be refusing him the light of day of the toles were reversed!
15:55 she had an ace attorney breakdown 😂 (not that it’s funny, just funny that that can happen in real life).
When she saw you were excited and happy about somebody else she wanted to take that away from you
I feel like I read the same story but from Op's wife POV
Yes, I had watched both a while ago and only realised they were about each other. Her sister made told her to post on reddit. I went to reddit and I think they are back together. She did take the post down, and her husband told her to post it back up, to warn anyone who wants to think about cheating and the consequences
@@ratthawks They are back? Where is the post?
@@Erick-zg6qryes, they’re back together, they’re in marriage counseling 😭. I really wish Op had just gotten a divorce. I’ve seen several comments saying that op and his wife got back together and that op and Monica didn’t end up working out
@@jaydas8976 Really? Did OP or Op's wife posted an update?
@@Erick-zg6qr yes, OP’s wife posted her side of the story and I think there was an update from op. Many people in the comments said that they saw OP’s wife’s post and that they saw the update, but none of they left the link to the update or the wife’s post, so I’m not sure if it’s still on Reddit
It's a good thing the husband didn't give his cheating wife 2nd chance, I don't understand why people get married then just spend years their partners then cheat on them & then attempt to win them back, like if you don't wanna lose your partner, then don't betray them!
Could you do [UPDATE] in the title if there is an update to a story you posted before? Almost didnt watch this one
Stop getting married
if this were me my argument is that even if she was sincere i would never give a second chance cause i would be just contributing to infidelity by enabling it. infidelity cant be fixed with second chances, its something that must be left behind or it will spread, cause if people know they get a second chance they will take it, you can forgive but you also can also uphold standards, that infidelity is unacceptable, if she repents she can seek redemption alone, she and everyone else should only be allowed to have one chance at companionship, if you cant hold commitments then your better off alone.
"She said life is too short to not take risks and opportunities when they present themselves" I don't know how else to say this but that mentality Monica is one of 2 people
A. Someone who will probably end up dying while ok vacation
B. A pathological cheater
"Like she imploded into herself" lmaooooo
She's not crying cause she cheated, she's crying cause her safety net (OP) is leaving her. She's a cake eater. She wanted to stay married to you cause you helped take care of the kids and keep the household in order and she got to have her fun with her AP. Now that your leaving, she knows her lifestyle is about to change forever and she's scared
Its not cheating if the other person cheats and then you get with someone else, the relationship is over when they cheated, youre just moving on.
exactly he was very open that he was done
I said the same, yet is also a smart move because he doesn't want her to have ammunition to accuse him of anything. Modern women are really vindictive now days since judge and jury tend to favorite them when they put an act.