I moved into my own apartment 216 miles away. Where I know nobody. I'm healing myself. After 20 years of abuse and waiting 19 months for my freedom. I'm now safe. He hated my hair long, so I'm growing it even longer and loving me.
I am fascinated by this idea! I didn't realize until this video that what I was doing was "freeing" myself from the narcissist (I suppose it was subconscious) and I stopped wearing makeup. My n-mom would be appalled to see me now, just as I am. I started a face cleansing routine to take care of my skin, which also suffered from narcissistic harm. I also suffered hair loss -- it took watching another video of yours to realize narc abuse could be the culprit. Their evil is so insidious it gets to the cell level.
Sorry to hear that, me to Glas I didn't got bald. Some do. Im still try to fight myself out, no job, no income I lost everything last year cause I trusted him to be changed after years of terror. Its a Pattern you can't just escape. False hope. I'm not perfect like anybody else. It's extremely evil what happens to victims. I wasn't open about it until now 4 years. I read a lot about it but it takes years to finally escape ❤
Tfs❤@zulemaflores8796 . 30+ years here and your post gives me hope as he fights this divorce. I’ve been told that I have alopecia, still have a long way to go but my hair started to grow back as soon as I made peace with the fact that a divorce is best.
My 10 year old self wanted to move away from narc parents. I worked myself to the ground and prepared myself, ultimately freeing myself at 25. Today at 40, I feel free!
@@brandondavey2398 They tried their level best to set up roadblocks by not providing me with the requisite resources for me to do well, but much to their chagrin, by the grace of God, I excelled every time. No regrets career-wise.
33 years with a narc husband, and 20 with 2 Narc parents. I moved 350 miles away, and now I’m free! I left the most idyllic acreage, with peaceful countryside, behind, but I’ve never been so happy. The move is the best thing I’ve ever done! My hair changed for me after my move. I always had fine, thin, very straight hair. Every morning my narc required me to style my hair and put my makeup on - my mask. My hair started growing in thick and curly when I left my narc. Now all I do is spritz it with water, and I have glorious curls. I’ve also given up makeup. Ending that routine has given me an extra hour a day, and it feels like I shed the last of the bonds that held me down. I’m finally free!
paint color makes a difference in emotional well being , examples being Deep Dark Reds evoke angry feelings in children so I would guess we Adults as well. Looking forward to your insights Champion 🏆 Bless Up You and Your Relations 🦅🏆😎
@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382 👋 yes, that's true about color. This video and the last one on dreams really makes it clear that we internalize others' behavior towards us. Live life to the fullest, which naturally means, not with a narcissist. 😂
I literally cut my long hair which was right down my back to shoulder length with kitchen scissors. It was a weird uncontrollable urge. I felt amazing after. It was right after the narc was exposed to me. It was a subconscious urge to literally remove my hair and immediately change and own my own appearance. Do it ! ❤
It absolutely does. My skin has suffered, and I have some autoimmune conditions that started at times coinciding with ending relationships with my mother and my toxic spouse. Not just happenstance. 😢
I changed my hair style, changed my car. Redecorated my house how I wanted it & then moved house as soon as I was able.Got rid of anything that reminded me of him. So freeing
Having constant hair fall due to narcissistic abuse. My face also changed. I am terrified of a bunch of narcissists in my life. They make my life hell. Pls make a video on how to protect oneself if faced with influential and powerful narcissists?
I did last year!!! I did cut my hair about 60cm (my hair was very long, grown to my butt) and after that my hair was very short, it doesn’t touch my shoulders and I felt so releaved immediatly! No regrets! Cutted since then 3x round about 10 cm again. I had long hair for decades and couldn’t never imagine to cut my beautiful hair that short, but now I feel much better. If you feel to cut, just do. I can highly recommend this from experience.
My hair has been falling out due to the stress of working with a malignant narcissist. I'm finally realizing how bad the situation is and will be looking for a new job. I can't seem to get away from these predators.
We are ruled over by these predators....the "Who" is trying to take away our bodily autonomy and sovreignty at this very moment. Getting corrupt narcissistic govts to sign away our freedom if we don't stop it. And they are doing it under a cover of lies. Google is part of it and lies in their "fact check" propaganda to keep the peasants from finding out what these criminals are doing. They want to force us to take their poison 💉💉💉like caged animals and we won't be able to travel, work, buy or sell if this "treaty" gets enacted. See Dr. John Campbells vids for more info. People need to wake up from their brainwashing ASAP!!
Thank You for Sharing I Lost All Of My Hair Due To Emotional Verbal And Psychological Abuse By Malignant Narcissist Also Bad Health Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal
I've been systematically changing things for going on 2 years. Right after getting my freedom. I started outside. He was a junk hoarder. So it took a hot minute but coming home after 11 hours on my feet to a junkyard.... REALLY irritated me. So I began there. Took a year. I've gone thru my house room by room. Changed everything I could. Painted every room. Redid the bathroom. As I cleaned, mentally I was like someone sitting on the floor rocking back n forth mumbling, "Everything must change. Everything."over n over rocking. It's Great now! I've got half the garage and one room upstairs left. The cloud has lifted and now it's a finally a home.
THAT IS AN AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT! I bet that feels more than phenomenal. I am so happy & proud of you. I am actually facing the same stuation that you've worked your way out of. Not sure I can ever get out from under the insurmountable amount of junk accumulated. Considering whether it would just be easier to pack up & go...disappear. (Packing lightly, of course.)
I'm losing my hair. It's coming out in gobs because of the stress. I was in denial about it being caused by this stressful relationship because narcissists train people to ignore themselves.
Cassie start taking a multi vitamin urgently....your body takes a few months to react. So this can get worst if you don't start NOW. Try Centrum or a Once a Day multivitamin....some of the same vitamins that you need for hair is also needed for Brain health like All those "B-Complex "
Cassie start taking a multi vitamin urgently....your body takes a few months to react. So this can get worst if you don't start NOW. Try Centrum or a Once a Day multivitamin....some of the same vitamins that you need for hair is also needed for Brain health like All those "B-Complex "
God's People, One does not have to cut or shave off hair, or even color to begin healing. I see this so many many times with Clients I have Coached & Counseled . It's " FREEDOM " when you choose to CHANGE YOUR MIND IN RELEGATED SELF LOVE. after leaving a Narc, now it's your choice to give back to your own/body & self to which was taken away . EVERYTHING HEALTHY & beautiful 😊 in Jesus name X
I made a drastic change to my hair. I cut it off. I went from black shoulder length hair to about 3inches of silver hair. I talked about it for insistently for months. The one day I just did it. I felt and feels sooo liberating !!! It fits the person that I have become post 33 years narc abuse. A few weeks later I ran into my Ex (which never happens) with one of his supplies looking like a dupe of the old me. Now that was hilarious. But I did feel sorry for her though. And, although there’s been no contact for years. I could see that my new look was having a very negative effect on him.
@@ruthevans9827 one step at a time . I ran from the Narc husband of only 10 months and the ranch I bought myself. I knew I would never return to co habitate with him. accepting I might have to sell and start over a solo woman @ 69 yrs old. yet it was worth it. I bought a tiny one room cabin as a temporary hidden location. and a plan B. I sacrificed a lot of money to be rid of him. it " wasn't fair" I wrote it off as the expense of a life saving surgery. my friends and I call him THE TUMOR now and laugh . hours after I signed away my money... I was blessed with incredible job opportunities. and was repeatedly blessed each step of the way. my answers unfolded each time I didnt know what to do. I PRAYED!!!!! miracles happened.
Yes Danish changing your home as well as other things in your life is of upmost importance. My entire life I had never lived alone until I left my narcissist. From the very first night when I lay my head down, I was not afraid and I was finally able to sleep in peace. I honestly do not believe I would have ever begun to heal if I had remained in our home. It was a sad and tragic time but I am now on the road to recovery and you my friend have helped me in so many ways. God bless you and thank you for all you do for us wounded souls 🙏♥️🙏
Cut my hair. It was as if I was letting go of dead weight. And, now my goal is to not live in a place with white or cream walls. I need a little more color in my life. And I can no longer handle any kind of chair that is used for storage. All couches, chairs and beds must be free to sit in or lay on. This helps me feel that there is always a place for rest.
I changed my environment and everything about me. I was free for a little while but encountered new narcissists. Now I live in another city, another cage, completely alone. Recently I realised I'm autistic so there's no escape for me, no chance to have a normal life. Narcissists are everywhere and I'm their favourite toy. Apologies for the pessimism. Thank you Danish for educating people and helping them recover. You seem like a kind soul.
It is possible, even with autism, to avoid them, and to recognise and get away.. keep learning the theory. Keep aware of the red flags. Autism can be an advantage because we can be logic based ans not reky on the magical thinking it takes to stay with a narc. I hope you both get your hope back.
You’re right, when these kinds of changes happen, it is definitely for the better. When I found myself with such individuals, I moved the bed and other furniture around until I could move.
I pulled my hair out for many years from the pain of the abuse so I kept it rather short. Since I’ve gone no contact, I have stopped pulling it out and wear it a longer as a reminder and sign to myself that I am healing.
I've been shaving my head for the past 3 years and continue to do so. After my divorce with my narcissist. I could honestly see the trauma stored in the color of my hair. When I shave it off I feel more liberated and I'm not reminded of the trauma Is that the narcissist put me through. The funny thing is the narcissist hated when I shaved but I didn't anyway. It was my way of telling her that her opinions don't matter to me.
@@Brightestlightt you comment on someone else's expression about how great they feel shaving their hair and you invalidate them by telling them to do the opposite. You also call them 'baby' and you don't even know them. Yeah. I'm the weird one.
@@sonja7halcyon and I said let it grow now meaning hopefully he healed!!! Since it’s been 3 years !! What did you do exactly to encourage this man ??? Did you said word of encouragement to help him heal ??? Or you just in the comment being negative and Criticizing in a horrible way someone comment who was trying to help ??? Please you’re are the horrible person here the audacity to read his comment and not even trying to encourage him!! you making it worst with your negative reply bye Sonja think twice before taking someone comment in negative way stop projecting!! you see everything in a negative light what a life !!!! Hope you heal from whatever!! Peace!!
Danish, you are 100% right, i have thought of shaving off my hair and even my eyebrows when i was with my narcissistic husband but now as i am free of his captivity i sometimes use to think that why was i so inclined to cut off my precious hair. You have answered my last question Danish, Thank you 🙏
You are so right about changing your external environment. I had to lose things that were visual reminders of the abuser. I am making mine place a nuturing comforting safe place that makes me feel happy & peaceful. I get to choose. Good explanation. Thank you.
Thank you so much. This is incredibly helpful as usual. I have been changing everything cutting my hair dressing completely different. I look totally different. I rearranged all my furniture and I'm trying to sell my house. My son has grown up in this house and he very much doesn't want to move but I told him we have to because this house has become a prison. In truth it was always a prison I just never saw it. It will be hard to move. When my husband left last year he went to all my friends our mutual friends which were the only ones I had except for an acquaintance or two. Anyway he went to them and told them without actually saying out loud that he was the victim and I had kicked him out but he didn't really have to use any language he just led them to believe things. Not one of them spoke to me afterwards. I was so devastated. But now I am so happy and grateful that they are not in my life anymore. I felt a lot of guilt about my moving plans. I kept thinking I have to do this. The urgency is so high. The city I want to move to will be so much better for my son. But he is so resistant that I felt so guilty. This video gives me the strength I need to know that what I'm doing is right even though it's scary. Thank you for always validating my experience. Today I had to meet with my psychiatrist to renew my prescription and I told him I was in the process of the divorce and he basically told me that every divorce is horrible and he's testified in these horrific divorce cases and that nothing really bad happened to me. He knows all the details of my past abuse as a child. But when it came to my husband and how covert he was this man who claims to have all this experience just doesn't believe that this is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was feeling happy before the appointment I was feeling like I had a future and it was the first time I had felt like that. I notice a lot of these people have this way of putting you down and telling you if it was really that bad you wouldn't be able to get out of bed and that kind of thing. But I just did firm in the appointment and I said I know you don't understand what I've gone through but that's okay I know my truth and that's all I need to know. I was upset for a little bit after and then I let it go. I know that what I went through was really bad. I don't need this expert to tell me that it wasn't. But I want to say thank you to you because you are the one who gave me the support that I needed. You are the one that's so thoroughly described what I went through that there was no way I could deny it to myself anymore. I literally owe you my life and I want you to know that
Well good for you, these therapists don’t know every thing. I’ve seen some doozies over the years, and paid dearly for useless advice and information. I could of swapped chairs, with many of them, many haven’t lived the life we have. Danish has life experience of living with a narc, I’d listen to him any day 🙏
I started going grey in my early 20's. A wonderful stylist found me. She gave me 30+ years as a redhead. It helped me change my timid, beat down personality & opened so many doors I never would have thought to open ❤
I found this video just in time. I had to watch it when I saw the thumbnail. I have been shedding like crazy. Clumps of my hair is falling out and never knew why til I started watching this video. Very interesting! Now I know why my hair is falling out. Thank you!
I think my father had BPD, not narcissism (your videos have helped me understand the nuances) but many of the symptoms from the abuse are quite similar. About a year ago I gave myself an undercut, shaving the bottom of my hair off completely. That night as I laid my half-bare head on my pillow, my entire body shook. It was such an intense release of stress it felt like my entire nervous system was re-wiring. I have cropped the top of my hair shorter than it was, but maybe I should do a whole new style just to really give myself a fresh start. I am afraid to, but maybe this is a sign that I should. My hair itself held extra trauma because I am gay, and my father was very attached to my femininity and my ability to appeal to men, and to my long, beautiful hair. My sister did a similar thing when she decided to get an extra ear piercing. I'm so happy to see someone talk about these impulses in relation to narcissistic abuse. They're such an important way to reset our bodies after abuse and reclaim bodily autonomy.
I want to add one thing. I ran for my safety from my narc husband. found work and traded it for a cabin to live in, in an unknown location. I lived there a year. the owner wanted to raise money so I bought the one room cabin from him. it's still on his land. I go there every other day to stay over night. feed abandoned dogs who adopted me and protected me. it's been just 6 weeks since I got my small ranch back and the ex husband removed. going to that cabin an hours drive from my own place out in the middle of nowhere has been the best transition for me. I can have a nights break in my safe place. and I can recharge and also decompress from the remaining grief of the damage to my ranch and my own state of mind.
What you say is Valid. As a Feathered North American 🦅 Indian from Canada I strongly appose the Katholic kult Priests that Kutt Our 🦅 Hair That Trauma Still exists today. Appreciate your comment BlessUP You and Your Relations 🦅🏆😎
@@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382 thankyou for your confirmation, I was justified by the fact I saw through the BS in 2020 and tried to warn people about the snake bite the masks and the cleanliness, I was dismissed as a conspiracy theorist, and now people are coming upto and saying I was right! 💓🏴
Hi Danish.... can you do video(s) on how narcissists get into leadership roles in business and society? Also, what are the effects and results of narcissists as leaders? Your narcissist videos are the best on RUclips. Thank you!
I’ve been told that I have alopecia but after I decided that divorcing the narcissist is best & even though he’s fighting the divorce,my hair is slowly growing back. I’ve considered shaving it bald. I dream of a small modest home w/a front & back porch,yellow walls, a flower garden. This house is huge in a nice neighborhood but it the energy is negative.
It used to be common in Japan for women to cut their hair really short if they broke up with their boyfriend. It’s less common but a friend who’s a hairdresser noted that girls who’re happy with their boyfriends get a few cm of hair cut but girls who complain about boyfriends typically get several cm cut or completely new style.
Ever since I two months ago I’ve wanted to move away. She lives a street block from me.. I did start working out an running also skateboarding went back to my roots. I want to move but unfortunately she destroyed me so bad I had to close accounts, have no money have no friends. It’s ok though I’m gonna survive this seven years on an off.
@@Stardustpal25 thank you it has been hard I can’t sleep nightmares of her ugh she was fucking the neighbor he got kicked out but still i don’t feel safe anywhere
Yes. Chemicals get stored in your hair in fact law enforcement checks the hair and can tell how long someone ingested a toxin. A hair cut is a way to feel lighter and fresher fast
After being broken up by a person with BPD and a covert NPD coming out of what I didn’t realise at the time that I was abused and gaslit this all makes sense why I have been losing my hair more than usual it all makes sense…
I haven't been able to get out of my prison yet, but I shaved my whole head (used to have longer than shoulder-length hair) in 2021 and have kept shaving it since. It's a little victory. Of course my narc father made a huge fuss about it, shaming me, and I asked him what made him think that he has the authority to tell me to do with my body? What makes him think he even has a right to an opinion on MY self-image. The nerve of these people. My shaved head is my freedom.
Keep on the planning path and I hope you can escape soon.🙏. Stay strong and I’m sending positivity and strong vibes so you can get out of there. Once you’re out you won’t know yourself. You’ll be free and be able to be as awesome and incredible as you want to be. Doing and thinking whatever you want without judgement and criticism and cruelty. 👍🏼
@@ZLLi661 Thank you for the well wishes and good vibes. I know I can't wait until I get out and can be my authentic myself. Right now I'm like a caged bird and I just can't wait to fly! It sounds like you got free, I'm so happy for you.
Good for your, telling your father in-law off. How dare he, I bet he was gobbed smacked. I’d of liked to have seen that. We need to stand up to these bullies. They can bugger off. 😉
Since I moved. Bought my own home. My walls and ceilings are white. My windows are large and many. Light shines in my home it makes me happy. I have animal and nature tapestries over some windows where the sun glares off tv. My hair is buzzed short and it feels nice to touch. My granddaughter loves to rub my head. So do I it’s silky smooth. Health has improved immensely. A1C has dropped 2 points. Bone density has increased. Weight is coming down. Exercise outside is enjoyable again walking track and climbing bleachers. Bought a dirt bike and e bike live riding them. When people dismiss me that’s ok their issue not mine. People don’t understand me it’s ok I understand me and that’s all that matters. I eat what I want when I want. I don’t hold to morning and waving foods concepts. If I want eggs at night I eat eggs. If I want meatloaf for breakfast that’s what I eat. I’ve become calmer. I still enjoy helping people but I limit it and who. I can walk away from crowds of people with no extra thought of whatever fun they think their having. I can get involved in a book and never put it down until it’s finished. Life is wonderful. I can laugh at those who want to start arguments. I think it scares them they don’t know how to react. I enjoy sitting in a crowded room being the only one smiling and watch how my smile is infectious in the room. It’s most enjoyable. 😊
This is eye opening for sure. I have thought to chop my hair all off. I couldnt even get out my winter decorations today to put up. I think they are linked to some trauma. I have thought to move also.
Exactly that is the reason I want to change everything completely. I realised this long back and am taking steps towards it though the narcissist in my life is trying his best to prevent it.
I've learned to identify abused women in public by their thinning, dry hair, slightly unkempt look, and sad, dejected facial expression. So yes, the hair does store trauma.😀
I literally cried in the car weeks ago when I realized that my hair thinning was a result of the immense stress I am under in my marriage. Right now I’m just trying to gain some weight and I cry occasionally after my girls go to bed. Smh
@@carriefinding40 Mine fell out so gradually that I didn’t even notice until someone pointed it out… smh When I hear guys say oh you’re gonna grow old and alone ( in other words not married) … ok??? Lol will my kids be there and my loved ones? Ok I’m cool with that lol I look forward to it actually
Omg ! I want to cut my hair and change the color of my walls , felt like changing my life and moving to another city...but I just spoke to him for 2 months and this is what happened. If this relationship would have lasted idk what disaster more it would have caused me .thank God Jesus I am saved
Wow! I did cut my hear after the discard, feeling it will somehow help me to survive it. Didn't know why, just did. And I somehow survived through it all.
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA. I just got done watching your video two months ago on narcissistic personality disorder in DSM is incomplete. Wow wow wow thank you so much. You are the only one that has Really address this! I appreciate you SO much! I am sure many others do also. I share these videos that you do on platforms and all over because I believe you have the best and touch in so many many areas that people can connect to. God bless you.
I repainted 2 or 3 rooms in my house, rearranged and reorganized as much as I could given my floor plan, i gave myself the fastest haircut I have ever done and lost 6 inches of hair in 3 minutes. Absolutely changed everything. That much more empowering, if you can figure out how to do these things yourself with some RUclips videos. Thank you for this one, it makes a lot of sense.
It's so sad that I've had to go through all of this, a lot of these symptoms and my health so impacted by this person. I was not even married or in a relationship with them, that was the embarrassing thing. This amount of abuse & trauma was caused by a "friends with benefits" kind of situation, where someone was just leading me on for years and I stuck around 😢😢. I tried to leave many times but got sucked back in. Imagine going through all of this abuse affecting a person psychologically, emotionally and even physically all for nothing because embarrassingly they were never even my partner, they just acted like they was.
I choped my hair off this summer, 5 years after leaving my narcissist ex-boyfriend. One week after cutting my hair off, he came back. We haven't spoken or seen each other in 5 years. I've never felt so liberated and confident in my life. He tried to fumble me again but I was strong enough not to fall in his trap.
Thank you for your wisdom. I wish I had known this long ago. I spent my life running away from narcissists; parent, spouse, companions. It always felt like I was in a trap and I was blind but somehow managed to escape, literally by moving hundreds and thousands of miles away. At this late stage of my life at least the monster is visible and better avoided. Relationships are expensive in many ways.
I also strongly considered v changing my name completely after the divorce. for I was raised with a terrifying raging dangerous father. now that I am through just learning about narcissism has freed me. the name change isnt important. im free from both my father and husband at 69 years old. my nam e is my original maiden name. but it was a great exercise. I am using a new playful Nic name.
I have moved many times and shave my head more often than most stay S.H.A.R.P kids Thank you poster of the video for making masculinely acceptable non cheesy videos about narcissist abuse. Some of us are grown men I appreciate it Also it's nice that you don't explain things like everyone watching the video is overly sensitive and not as emotionally mature as they should be Thank you
my hair broke basically nonstop while i was with my narcissist exbf. it pretty much refused to grow at all. it was bad enough that i've been struggling with trichotillomania since i was young. so not only was my hair constantly breaking and falling out, but i was pulling it out as well. my hair didn't really start to grow well again until i moved in with my now husband. this is the longest my hair has been in literally about 12 years.
I shaved my head a few weeks ago to symbolize my rebirth (most babies are bald). I also did this to make myself less "attractive" to a narcissistic neighbor and flying monkey of my ex-wife. I always have felt being "watched" by her and felt as if I was under a microscope every time I walked out the door. Yet, she had also love bombed me in the past, stalked/followed me when I'd go to the grocery store along with some of her own social media "friends." It made me feel anxious and justfiedly paranoid. Now, I understand what people who have been stalked feel like. By shaving my head, I thought it might serve as narcissist love bomb repellant since they only value appearances anyway. When I was talking to a neighbor outside my house, I took off my hat and rubbed my bald head saying, "I have nothing to proove anymore. I'm FREEE..." I felt a sort of feeling of grief or loss like when the average person loses a pet or loved one. Considering since we are "pets" to them, I thought, if she felt loss that this might be a way to FINALLY (since 2017) get rid of this toxic pest once and for all...Two days later I saw her and her monkees walk past me as if they were the stars in some kind of music video!🤢😎She looked at me as if she were an "Emperess" passing me as though I was a nothing peasant." It has been much quieter and restful since that day about 2 weeks ago...I hope my instinct is correct and that maybe she moved away as well. If not, I know I've made myself less of a tempting target for her freak show!! I feel good, uplifted and empowered for the first time in a LONG TIME! 😁😎 Thank you for your knowledge and advice, Danish!
I have clipper cut my hair at a # 2 twice. A # 2 is very short. I didn’t have a specific reason other than it being an urge. I can tell you that both times I’ve done it were very dark times in my emotions. Definitely due to narcissistic abuse. The second time I did it my sisters n I had taken on full time caregiving for our Mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We were her full time caregivers for the entirety of her disease. Her n I had a rocky relationship but I put that aside because she needed us. I had always colored my hair to cover the grey but taking care of her I didn’t have the energy to do my roots. They got long and it looked terrible. I’m a former cosmetologist and did hair for almost 40 years. For me to look at my own roots was unacceptable. So one morning before my shower I grabbed my clippers n buzzed of all of my long hair. It was definitely an impulsive move because I failed to think about how my Mom would react to it. She didn’t remember I was her daughter anymore but I knew she was going to hate it. 😮 Utoh! She didn’t swear before Alzheimer’s but when she saw me she was disgusted. She said I looked like an efffing dike. She actually said the F word. She went on about it for weeks, every single day when I went there for my shift. Eventually I could curl it. So I did and put on makeup (which I rarely did anymore) to “look pretty”. She was much nicer to me when I did. Being a caregiver for a (vulnerable narcissistic) parent is taxing on a person. Finding the energy to get pretty according to my Mother’s standards was hard work. She passed with my sister and I holding her hands just 2 years ago the other day. My recuperation has been slow and painful. I’ve had other major setbacks because I’m also married to a narcissistic man. 41 years. 12 of them apart because I left. However, I’ve allowed myself to be pulled back in. Sara Bareilles wrote a song that describes me as though she wrote it for n about me. Of course she didn’t. It’s called, “She used to be mine”. I sob when I hear it so I don’t play it anymore. I will, one day when I’m free from my prison of misery. I will play it victoriously. ❤ I WILL be free! ✊🏽💪🏽👍🏽💯🙏🏽💝 Thank you for the content on your channel. Every validation brings us all closer to freedom from the narcissistic people in our world. Blessings to you for your good work. 💝🙏🏽💝
I started greying, losing weight, and downcasted eyes when I was still in my narcissistic relationship. Since leaving 3 years ago my hair is fuller/darker. I look years younger. My sister refers to my eyes as moon puddles now. Bright and whimsical when I talk.
Does moving interstate count? With one suitcase and no material things? And I actually don't want anything. I'm going to slowly start again! New wardrobe, as everything you wore and shared together, have some type of emotional attachment and triggers
@xDanishBashir01-qv2bg Thank you very much, but I still have to go throw a lot of pain, I am getting there. Some days are harder than others. I have good people around me and I thank God for them! Especially for my children. Your Videos are great help too, thank you so much!
After he left I was like the energizer bunny . I took everything of his and put them in boxes and took them to his house. I painted and turned his two rooms into feminine looking rooms. It felt good to make my house my own withno vestige of him.
My hair was quite long and was thinning due to stress. My narc ex insisted I get my hair cut. I refused. I would braid it and wrap it around my neck to keep him from trying to cut it. It was about six years later when I had half the length cut. My hair was healing too.
My hair was long, below my hips, i cut it off to my chin 5 months post leaving. The same week I signed a lease for my own apartment. I definitely felt an urge to do it.
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Catch Me [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/KxwEXXFQMTY/mqdefault.jpg)
I moved into my own apartment 216 miles away. Where I know nobody. I'm healing myself. After 20 years of abuse and waiting 19 months for my freedom. I'm now safe. He hated my hair long, so I'm growing it even longer and loving me.
Well done,I wish you well. Maybe send him a photo of your long hair, no address of course ✅
I am fascinated by this idea! I didn't realize until this video that what I was doing was "freeing" myself from the narcissist (I suppose it was subconscious) and I stopped wearing makeup. My n-mom would be appalled to see me now, just as I am. I started a face cleansing routine to take care of my skin, which also suffered from narcissistic harm. I also suffered hair loss -- it took watching another video of yours to realize narc abuse could be the culprit. Their evil is so insidious it gets to the cell level.
I lost a lot of hair, but I still have plenty of hair. I now live alone and I absolutely enjoy my freedom. I lived with a narcissist 35 plus years.
Twenty plus here. Also live alone and loving it. ❤😊
Sorry to hear that, me to Glas I didn't got bald. Some do. Im still try to fight myself out, no job, no income I lost everything last year cause I trusted him to be changed after years of terror. Its a Pattern you can't just escape. False hope. I'm not perfect like anybody else. It's extremely evil what happens to victims. I wasn't open about it until now 4 years. I read a lot about it but it takes years to finally escape ❤
@@charlie-girl72 yes it takes years sometimes to figure it out then for me almost another two years to get an apartment.
Tfs❤@zulemaflores8796 . 30+ years here and your post gives me hope as he fights this divorce. I’ve been told that I have alopecia, still have a long way to go but my hair started to grow back as soon as I made peace with the fact that a divorce is best.
Congratulations on your escape!
My 10 year old self wanted to move away from narc parents. I worked myself to the ground and prepared myself, ultimately freeing myself at 25. Today at 40, I feel free!
Is there anything you would've done differently career wise?
@@brandondavey2398 They tried their level best to set up roadblocks by not providing me with the requisite resources for me to do well, but much to their chagrin, by the grace of God, I excelled every time. No regrets career-wise.
Am too waiting to feel myself a bird ... hope it happens soon .... ameen
25 wow! Well done you! I'm 36, still stuck but doing my best to get out. It's a complicated situation. It's nice to hear victorious stories!
@@sonja7halcyon Thank you!
33 years with a narc husband, and 20 with 2 Narc parents. I moved 350 miles away, and now I’m free! I left the most idyllic acreage, with peaceful countryside, behind, but I’ve never been so happy. The move is the best thing I’ve ever done!
My hair changed for me after my move. I always had fine, thin, very straight hair. Every morning my narc required me to style my hair and put my makeup on - my mask. My hair started growing in thick and curly when I left my narc. Now all I do is spritz it with water, and I have glorious curls. I’ve also given up makeup. Ending that routine has given me an extra hour a day, and it feels like I shed the last of the bonds that held me down. I’m finally free!
"It looks like prison" ❤ and that is precisely why changing your hair and everything in your environment can help you heal and begin again!
paint color makes a difference in emotional well being , examples being Deep Dark Reds evoke angry feelings in children so I would guess we Adults as well. Looking forward to your insights Champion 🏆
Bless Up You
and Your Relations
🦅🏆😎
@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382 👋 yes, that's true about color. This video and the last one on dreams really makes it clear that we internalize others' behavior towards us. Live life to the fullest, which naturally means, not with a narcissist. 😂
@@norcal1009😂 again you Humourized it all 😂🏆
@@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382 I have plenty more! 😂 Stay on top of your game!!
Women particularly are known to change hairstyles in moments when a change is needed. I get it now, if I didn't before. 😂
Yup I had to shave my hair off... It's growing back healthy and thicker
Left the state, changed my name, stopped styling my hair the way they insisted was correct; all of it helped.
I literally cut my long hair which was right down my back to shoulder length with kitchen scissors. It was a weird uncontrollable urge. I felt amazing after. It was right after the narc was exposed to me. It was a subconscious urge to literally remove my hair and immediately change and own my own appearance. Do it ! ❤
It absolutely does. My skin has suffered, and I have some autoimmune conditions that started at times coinciding with ending relationships with my mother and my toxic spouse. Not just happenstance. 😢
I threw away everything a Narc gave me. Afterwards it was a big breath of fresh air. 🌬️🌬️ I felt lighter and as if a weight was lifted off of me.
Thank you Danish! God bless you!
I changed my hair style, changed my car. Redecorated my house how I wanted it & then moved house as soon as I was able.Got rid of anything that reminded me of him. So freeing
Amen 🙌
Having constant hair fall due to narcissistic abuse. My face also changed. I am terrified of a bunch of narcissists in my life. They make my life hell. Pls make a video on how to protect oneself if faced with influential and powerful narcissists?
I did last year!!! I did cut my hair about 60cm (my hair was very long, grown to my butt) and after that my hair was very short, it doesn’t touch my shoulders and I felt so releaved immediatly! No regrets! Cutted since then 3x round about 10 cm again.
I had long hair for decades and couldn’t never imagine to cut my beautiful hair that short, but now I feel much better. If you feel to cut, just do. I can highly recommend this from experience.
My hair has been falling out due to the stress of working with a malignant narcissist. I'm finally realizing how bad the situation is and will be looking for a new job. I can't seem to get away from these predators.
We are ruled over by these predators....the "Who" is trying to take away our bodily autonomy and sovreignty at this very moment. Getting corrupt narcissistic govts to sign away our freedom if we don't stop it. And they are doing it under a cover of lies. Google is part of it and lies in their "fact check" propaganda to keep the peasants from finding out what these criminals are doing. They want to force us to take their poison 💉💉💉like caged animals and we won't be able to travel, work, buy or sell if this "treaty" gets enacted. See Dr. John Campbells vids for more info. People need to wake up from their brainwashing ASAP!!
Thank You for Sharing I Lost All Of My Hair Due To Emotional Verbal And Psychological Abuse By Malignant Narcissist
Also Bad Health Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal
I lost 2/3 of my hair after two specific situationships. I shaved my head and felt FREE. I have fresh new growth now.
I've been systematically changing things for going on 2 years. Right after getting my freedom. I started outside. He was a junk hoarder. So it took a hot minute but coming home after 11 hours on my feet to a junkyard.... REALLY irritated me. So I began there. Took a year. I've gone thru my house room by room. Changed everything I could. Painted every room. Redid the bathroom. As I cleaned, mentally I was like someone sitting on the floor rocking back n forth mumbling, "Everything must change. Everything."over n over rocking. It's Great now! I've got half the garage and one room upstairs left. The cloud has lifted and now it's a finally a home.
THAT IS AN AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT! I bet that feels more than phenomenal. I am so happy & proud of you.
I am actually facing the same stuation that you've worked your way out of. Not sure I can ever get out from under the insurmountable amount of junk accumulated. Considering whether it would just be easier to pack up & go...disappear. (Packing lightly, of course.)
@@obscurum6 I very much appreciate the gentle nudge & positivity. Thank you.
((And I’ll be checking out the video you suggested right away.))
I chuckled out loud at the rocking back and forth bit lol I totally get that. So glad you are free now!
I'm losing my hair. It's coming out in gobs because of the stress. I was in denial about it being caused by this stressful relationship because narcissists train people to ignore themselves.
So true!😀
Yesss!! My hair left way before I did. My hair was smarter than me. After I left my narcissistic husband it slowly grew back ❤
Cassie start taking a multi vitamin urgently....your body takes a few months to react. So this can get worst if you don't start NOW. Try Centrum or a Once a Day multivitamin....some of the same vitamins that you need for hair is also needed for Brain health like All those "B-Complex "
Cassie start taking a multi vitamin urgently....your body takes a few months to react. So this can get worst if you don't start NOW. Try Centrum or a Once a Day multivitamin....some of the same vitamins that you need for hair is also needed for Brain health like All those "B-Complex "
I've had to do that too myself, I have MS and I can't tolerate hot showers plus my hair is falling out too
God's People,
One does not have to cut or shave off hair, or even color to begin healing.
I see this so many many times with Clients I have Coached & Counseled . It's " FREEDOM " when you choose to CHANGE YOUR MIND IN RELEGATED SELF LOVE. after leaving a Narc, now it's your choice to give back to your own/body & self to which was taken away . EVERYTHING HEALTHY & beautiful 😊 in Jesus name
X
I always throw away things that reminds me of toxic people. Out of site out of mind. My family always made fun of me for this but it helps me heal
I made a drastic change to my hair. I cut it off. I went from black shoulder length hair to about 3inches of silver hair. I talked about it for insistently for months. The one day I just did it. I felt and feels sooo liberating !!! It fits the person that I have become post 33 years narc abuse.
A few weeks later I ran into my Ex (which never happens) with one of his supplies looking like a dupe of the old me. Now that was hilarious. But I did feel sorry for her though. And, although there’s been no contact for years. I could see that my new look was having a very negative effect on him.
30 years and I'm still in it and don't know how to get unstuck
@@ruthevans9827 one step at a time . I ran from the Narc husband of only 10 months and the ranch I bought myself. I knew I would never return to co habitate with him. accepting I might have to sell and start over a solo woman @ 69 yrs old. yet it was worth it. I bought a tiny one room cabin as a temporary hidden location. and a plan B.
I sacrificed a lot of money to be rid of him. it " wasn't fair" I wrote it off as the expense of a life saving surgery. my friends and I call him THE TUMOR now and laugh . hours after I signed away my money... I was blessed with incredible job opportunities. and was repeatedly blessed each step of the way. my answers unfolded each time I didnt know what to do. I PRAYED!!!!! miracles happened.
Yes Danish changing your home as well as other things in your life is of upmost importance. My entire life I had never lived alone until I left my narcissist. From the very first night when I lay my head down, I was not afraid and I was finally able to sleep in peace. I honestly do not believe I would have ever begun to heal if I had remained in our home. It was a sad and tragic time but I am now on the road to recovery and you my friend have helped me in so many ways. God bless you and thank you for all you do for us wounded souls 🙏♥️🙏
Congrats on your escape😀
Brings me back to brittany shaving her head
And Sinead O'Conner RIP 2023.
@@norcal1009 loved her ❤️ ♥️
💯✊ cut off that stress
@@norcal1009❤
I hope Britt can read this, she was so shamed, but she was and is Organically Strong.
Cut my hair. It was as if I was letting go of dead weight. And, now my goal is to not live in a place with white or cream walls. I need a little more color in my life. And I can no longer handle any kind of chair that is used for storage. All couches, chairs and beds must be free to sit in or lay on. This helps me feel that there is always a place for rest.
That is a beautiful vision.
I changed my environment and everything about me. I was free for a little while but encountered new narcissists. Now I live in another city, another cage, completely alone. Recently I realised I'm autistic so there's no escape for me, no chance to have a normal life. Narcissists are everywhere and I'm their favourite toy. Apologies for the pessimism.
Thank you Danish for educating people and helping them recover. You seem like a kind soul.
Same. I've moved every two years and they keep following me in the form of neighbors. Parasites smell our Light.
It is possible, even with autism, to avoid them, and to recognise and get away.. keep learning the theory. Keep aware of the red flags. Autism can be an advantage because we can be logic based ans not reky on the magical thinking it takes to stay with a narc. I hope you both get your hope back.
You’re right, when these kinds of changes happen, it is definitely for the better. When I found myself with such individuals, I moved the bed and other furniture around until I could move.
About a month ago i shaved all my hair off i love it.
Such Powerful Information, Danish ❤
I pulled my hair out for many years from the pain of the abuse so I kept it rather short. Since I’ve gone no contact, I have stopped pulling it out and wear it a longer as a reminder and sign to myself that I am healing.
I've been shaving my head for the past 3 years and continue to do so. After my divorce with my narcissist. I could honestly see the trauma stored in the color of my hair. When I shave it off I feel more liberated and I'm not reminded of the trauma Is that the narcissist put me through. The funny thing is the narcissist hated when I shaved but I didn't anyway. It was my way of telling her that her opinions don't matter to me.
Let your hair grow baby
@@Brightestlightt jesus what a way to completely invalidate everything he just said! Are you another narc?
@@sonja7halcyon stop being weird
@@Brightestlightt you comment on someone else's expression about how great they feel shaving their hair and you invalidate them by telling them to do the opposite. You also call them 'baby' and you don't even know them. Yeah. I'm the weird one.
@@sonja7halcyon and I said let it grow now meaning hopefully he healed!!! Since it’s been 3 years !!
What did you do exactly to encourage this man ??? Did you said word of encouragement to help him heal ??? Or you just in the comment being negative and Criticizing in a horrible way someone comment who was trying to help ??? Please you’re are the horrible person here the audacity to read his comment and not even trying to encourage him!! you making it worst with your negative reply bye Sonja think twice before taking someone comment in negative way stop projecting!! you see everything in a negative light what a life !!!! Hope you heal from whatever!! Peace!!
Danish, you are 100% right, i have thought of shaving off my hair and even my eyebrows when i was with my narcissistic husband but now as i am free of his captivity i sometimes use to think that why was i so inclined to cut off my precious hair.
You have answered my last question Danish, Thank you 🙏
You are so right about changing your external environment. I had to lose things that were visual reminders of the abuser. I am making mine place a nuturing comforting safe place that makes me feel happy & peaceful. I get to choose. Good explanation. Thank you.
I dyed my hair purple after he left and I started wearing hats again ...He hated hats , he said they made people look pretentious ( meaning me)....
I have tried to move for the past 20 years when I inherited this property from my mother. She did so much damage.
Thank you so much. This is incredibly helpful as usual. I have been changing everything cutting my hair dressing completely different. I look totally different. I rearranged all my furniture and I'm trying to sell my house. My son has grown up in this house and he very much doesn't want to move but I told him we have to because this house has become a prison. In truth it was always a prison I just never saw it. It will be hard to move. When my husband left last year he went to all my friends our mutual friends which were the only ones I had except for an acquaintance or two. Anyway he went to them and told them without actually saying out loud that he was the victim and I had kicked him out but he didn't really have to use any language he just led them to believe things. Not one of them spoke to me afterwards. I was so devastated. But now I am so happy and grateful that they are not in my life anymore. I felt a lot of guilt about my moving plans. I kept thinking I have to do this. The urgency is so high. The city I want to move to will be so much better for my son. But he is so resistant that I felt so guilty. This video gives me the strength I need to know that what I'm doing is right even though it's scary. Thank you for always validating my experience. Today I had to meet with my psychiatrist to renew my prescription and I told him I was in the process of the divorce and he basically told me that every divorce is horrible and he's testified in these horrific divorce cases and that nothing really bad happened to me. He knows all the details of my past abuse as a child. But when it came to my husband and how covert he was this man who claims to have all this experience just doesn't believe that this is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was feeling happy before the appointment I was feeling like I had a future and it was the first time I had felt like that. I notice a lot of these people have this way of putting you down and telling you if it was really that bad you wouldn't be able to get out of bed and that kind of thing. But I just did firm in the appointment and I said I know you don't understand what I've gone through but that's okay I know my truth and that's all I need to know. I was upset for a little bit after and then I let it go. I know that what I went through was really bad. I don't need this expert to tell me that it wasn't. But I want to say thank you to you because you are the one who gave me the support that I needed. You are the one that's so thoroughly described what I went through that there was no way I could deny it to myself anymore. I literally owe you my life and I want you to know that
Well good for you, these therapists don’t know every thing. I’ve seen some doozies over the years, and paid dearly for useless advice and information. I could of swapped chairs, with many of them, many haven’t lived the life we have. Danish has life experience of living with a narc, I’d listen to him any day 🙏
I started going grey in my early 20's. A wonderful stylist found me. She gave me 30+ years as a redhead. It helped me change my timid, beat down personality & opened so many doors I never would have thought to open ❤
I found this video just in time. I had to watch it when I saw the thumbnail. I have been shedding like crazy. Clumps of my hair is falling out and never knew why til I started watching this video. Very interesting! Now I know why my hair is falling out. Thank you!
My ex would pull my hair when he was mad. I hated that hair. Its cut and now i don't want no ones hands on it🙌
I think my father had BPD, not narcissism (your videos have helped me understand the nuances) but many of the symptoms from the abuse are quite similar.
About a year ago I gave myself an undercut, shaving the bottom of my hair off completely. That night as I laid my half-bare head on my pillow, my entire body shook. It was such an intense release of stress it felt like my entire nervous system was re-wiring.
I have cropped the top of my hair shorter than it was, but maybe I should do a whole new style just to really give myself a fresh start. I am afraid to, but maybe this is a sign that I should.
My hair itself held extra trauma because I am gay, and my father was very attached to my femininity and my ability to appeal to men, and to my long, beautiful hair.
My sister did a similar thing when she decided to get an extra ear piercing.
I'm so happy to see someone talk about these impulses in relation to narcissistic abuse. They're such an important way to reset our bodies after abuse and reclaim bodily autonomy.
I want to add one thing. I ran for my safety from my narc husband. found work and traded it for a cabin to live in, in an unknown location. I lived there a year. the owner wanted to raise money so I bought the one room cabin from him. it's still on his land. I go there every other day to stay over night. feed abandoned dogs who adopted me and protected me. it's been just 6 weeks since I got my small ranch back and the ex husband removed. going to that cabin an hours drive from my own place out in the middle of nowhere has been the best transition for me. I can have a nights break in my safe place. and I can recharge and also decompress from the remaining grief of the damage to my ranch and my own state of mind.
The Native American Indians that had their haircut in the Vietnam war lost their tracking abilities! I have long hair and I’m 70!
Anything to do with dirty hands. Let it go❤💯
What you say is Valid. As a Feathered North American 🦅 Indian from Canada I strongly appose the Katholic kult Priests that Kutt Our 🦅 Hair
That Trauma Still exists today. Appreciate your comment
BlessUP You
and Your Relations
🦅🏆😎
❤️ Hair, nails, and skin, all part of our identity and what makes us human.
@@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382 thankyou for your confirmation, I was justified by the fact I saw through the BS in 2020 and tried to warn people about the snake bite the masks and the cleanliness, I was dismissed as a conspiracy theorist, and now people are coming upto and saying I was right! 💓🏴
Hi Danish.... can you do video(s) on how narcissists get into leadership roles in business and society? Also, what are the effects and results of narcissists as leaders? Your narcissist videos are the best on RUclips. Thank you!
I’ve been told that I have alopecia but after I decided that divorcing the narcissist is best & even though he’s fighting the divorce,my hair is slowly growing back. I’ve considered shaving it bald. I dream of a small modest home w/a front & back porch,yellow walls, a flower garden. This house is huge in a nice neighborhood but it the energy is negative.
It used to be common in Japan for women to cut their hair really short if they broke up with their boyfriend. It’s less common but a friend who’s a hairdresser noted that girls who’re happy with their boyfriends get a few cm of hair cut but girls who complain about boyfriends typically get several cm cut or completely new style.
Ever since I two months ago I’ve wanted to move away. She lives a street block from me.. I did start working out an running also skateboarding went back to my roots. I want to move but unfortunately she destroyed me so bad I had to close accounts, have no money have no friends. It’s ok though I’m gonna survive this seven years on an off.
I'm rooting for u
@@proanimaluver6487 thank you she nearly had me put in jail I had built evidence an took it to the police got her for harrasment
One day at a time, step by step. So many many stories of rebuilding Life, you are in good company! 🤝🦋
@@Stardustpal25 thank you it has been hard I can’t sleep nightmares of her ugh she was fucking the neighbor he got kicked out but still i don’t feel safe anywhere
Yes. Chemicals get stored in your hair in fact law enforcement checks the hair and can tell how long someone ingested a toxin. A hair cut is a way to feel lighter and fresher fast
After being broken up by a person with BPD and a covert NPD coming out of what I didn’t realise at the time that I was abused and gaslit this all makes sense why I have been losing my hair more than usual it all makes sense…
I haven't been able to get out of my prison yet, but I shaved my whole head (used to have longer than shoulder-length hair) in 2021 and have kept shaving it since. It's a little victory. Of course my narc father made a huge fuss about it, shaming me, and I asked him what made him think that he has the authority to tell me to do with my body? What makes him think he even has a right to an opinion on MY self-image. The nerve of these people. My shaved head is my freedom.
Keep on the planning path and I hope you can escape soon.🙏. Stay strong and I’m sending positivity and strong vibes so you can get out of there. Once you’re out you won’t know yourself. You’ll be free and be able to be as awesome and incredible as you want to be. Doing and thinking whatever you want without judgement and criticism and cruelty. 👍🏼
@@ZLLi661 Thank you for the well wishes and good vibes. I know I can't wait until I get out and can be my authentic myself. Right now I'm like a caged bird and I just can't wait to fly! It sounds like you got free, I'm so happy for you.
Good for your, telling your father in-law off. How dare he, I bet he was gobbed smacked. I’d of liked to have seen that. We need to stand up to these bullies. They can bugger off. 😉
@@wendyhannan2454 Not my father in law my actual father lol!
Sage every corner asap
I ended up with an auto-immune condition that came out on my skin
Auto-immune is when your body attacks itself
I ended up with two autoimmune disease, they’ll bring you to your knees health wise.
Just planning and picking up the pieces. 🙏
I moved out of state. I also got my nose pierced.
Dyed my hair to❤
I also pretry much got rid of all my belongings so I wouldn't remember him😢
Good for you two 💪
Thank you Danish for your videos and research!
Since I moved. Bought my own home. My walls and ceilings are white. My windows are large and many. Light shines in my home it makes me happy. I have animal and nature tapestries over some windows where the sun glares off tv. My hair is buzzed short and it feels nice to touch. My granddaughter loves to rub my head. So do I it’s silky smooth. Health has improved immensely. A1C has dropped 2 points. Bone density has increased. Weight is coming down. Exercise outside is enjoyable again walking track and climbing bleachers. Bought a dirt bike and e bike live riding them. When people dismiss me that’s ok their issue not mine. People don’t understand me it’s ok I understand me and that’s all that matters. I eat what I want when I want. I don’t hold to morning and waving foods concepts. If I want eggs at night I eat eggs. If I want meatloaf for breakfast that’s what I eat. I’ve become calmer. I still enjoy helping people but I limit it and who. I can walk away from crowds of people with no extra thought of whatever fun they think their having. I can get involved in a book and never put it down until it’s finished. Life is wonderful. I can laugh at those who want to start arguments. I think it scares them they don’t know how to react. I enjoy sitting in a crowded room being the only one smiling and watch how my smile is infectious in the room. It’s most enjoyable. 😊
Thank you so much for all you do! Not sure about letting anyone in again, my trust is broken I'm afraid forever. Be well and be safe!
When I finally got to a place where I felt completely safe, I started losing hair.
It's like all the stress I finally escaped fell out with it 😂
Same girl same
Thank you so ver much! Just the guidance I needed today! God bless and keep you! ✨💖✨🕊🕯️🌻
I cut my hair and look good now. They hate it
This is eye opening for sure. I have thought to chop my hair all off. I couldnt even get out my winter decorations today to put up. I think they are linked to some trauma. I have thought to move also.
Exactly that is the reason I want to change everything completely.
I realised this long back and am taking steps towards it though the narcissist in my life is trying his best to prevent it.
I've learned to identify abused women in public by their thinning, dry hair, slightly unkempt look, and sad, dejected facial expression. So yes, the hair does store trauma.😀
PS. Thank you for your reassuring and uplifting videos.
I literally cried in the car weeks ago when I realized that my hair thinning was a result of the immense stress I am under in my marriage. Right now I’m just trying to gain some weight and I cry occasionally after my girls go to bed. Smh
My hair is falling out in clumps 😢
@@kiriyareview9823it's happening to me too right now 😢 so upsetting. Sending love ❤
@@carriefinding40 Mine fell out so gradually that I didn’t even notice until someone pointed it out… smh When I hear guys say oh you’re gonna grow old and alone ( in other words not married) … ok??? Lol will my kids be there and my loved ones? Ok I’m cool with that lol I look forward to it actually
I am bald and I started losing my hair at like 20. Also my mother is a covert narcissist and then I got into a relationship with a narcissist
I'm gonna wash that toxic person right out of my hair.
Amazing I have been frozen for 11 months
Gentle lovely and wise
Thank you
Omg ! I want to cut my hair and change the color of my walls , felt like changing my life and moving to another city...but I just spoke to him for 2 months and this is what happened. If this relationship would have lasted idk what disaster more it would have caused me .thank God Jesus I am saved
Thanks ❤good to know
Wow! I did cut my hear after the discard, feeling it will somehow help me to survive it. Didn't know why, just did. And I somehow survived through it all.
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA.
I just got done watching your video two months ago on narcissistic personality disorder in DSM is incomplete. Wow wow wow thank you so much. You are the only one that has Really address this!
I appreciate you SO much! I am sure many others do also. I share these videos that you do on platforms and all over because I believe you have the best and touch in so many many areas that people can connect to. God bless you.
I repainted 2 or 3 rooms in my house, rearranged and reorganized as much as I could given my floor plan, i gave myself the fastest haircut I have ever done and lost 6 inches of hair in 3 minutes. Absolutely changed everything. That much more empowering, if you can figure out how to do these things yourself with some RUclips videos. Thank you for this one, it makes a lot of sense.
i have done this before, knowing i wont like the look but it felt needed. amazing insights you have like always
It's so sad that I've had to go through all of this, a lot of these symptoms and my health so impacted by this person. I was not even married or in a relationship with them, that was the embarrassing thing. This amount of abuse & trauma was caused by a "friends with benefits" kind of situation, where someone was just leading me on for years and I stuck around 😢😢. I tried to leave many times but got sucked back in. Imagine going through all of this abuse affecting a person psychologically, emotionally and even physically all for nothing because embarrassingly they were never even my partner, they just acted like they was.
it was very helpful. I recently had a nightmare about my mom trying to cut my new haircut that I actually liked
My mother wouldn’t let me grow my hair as a kid, she liked short hair. At 13-14 I did my own thing, and she just gave up. 😉
I choped my hair off this summer, 5 years after leaving my narcissist ex-boyfriend. One week after cutting my hair off, he came back. We haven't spoken or seen each other in 5 years. I've never felt so liberated and confident in my life. He tried to fumble me again but I was strong enough not to fall in his trap.
Thank you for your wisdom. I wish I had known this long ago. I spent my life running away from narcissists; parent, spouse, companions. It always felt like I was in a trap and I was blind but somehow managed to escape, literally by moving hundreds and thousands of miles away. At this late stage of my life at least the monster is visible and better avoided. Relationships are expensive in many ways.
I also strongly considered v
changing my name completely after the divorce. for I was raised with a terrifying raging dangerous father. now that I am through just learning about narcissism has freed me. the name change isnt important. im free from both my father and husband at 69 years old. my nam e is my original maiden name. but it was a great exercise. I am using a new playful Nic name.
Definitely interesting info!
Thank you for your research
And positive energy 💙
I have moved many times and shave my head more often than most
stay S.H.A.R.P kids
Thank you poster of the video for making masculinely acceptable non cheesy videos about narcissist abuse. Some of us are grown men
I appreciate it
Also it's nice that you don't explain things like everyone watching the video is overly sensitive and not as emotionally mature as they should be
Thank you
my hair broke basically nonstop while i was with my narcissist exbf. it pretty much refused to grow at all. it was bad enough that i've been struggling with trichotillomania since i was young. so not only was my hair constantly breaking and falling out, but i was pulling it out as well. my hair didn't really start to grow well again until i moved in with my now husband. this is the longest my hair has been in literally about 12 years.
If it's long only cut. Those years with the Narc
I shaved my head a few weeks ago to symbolize my rebirth (most babies are bald). I also did this to make myself less "attractive" to a narcissistic neighbor and flying monkey of my ex-wife. I always have felt being "watched" by her and felt as if I was under a microscope every time I walked out the door. Yet, she had also love bombed me in the past, stalked/followed me when I'd go to the grocery store along with some of her own social media "friends." It made me feel anxious and justfiedly paranoid. Now, I understand what people who have been stalked feel like.
By shaving my head, I thought it might serve as narcissist love bomb repellant since they only value appearances anyway.
When I was talking to a neighbor outside my house, I took off my hat and rubbed my bald head saying, "I have nothing to proove anymore. I'm FREEE..."
I felt a sort of feeling of grief or loss like when the average person loses a pet or loved one. Considering since we are "pets" to them, I thought, if she felt loss that this might be a way to FINALLY (since 2017) get rid of this toxic pest once and for all...Two days later I saw her and her monkees walk past me as if they were the stars in some kind of music video!🤢😎She looked at me as if she were an "Emperess" passing me as though I was a nothing peasant."
It has been much quieter and restful since that day about 2 weeks ago...I hope my instinct is correct and that maybe she moved away as well. If not, I know I've made myself less of a tempting target for her freak show!! I feel good, uplifted and empowered for the first time in a LONG TIME! 😁😎
Thank you for your knowledge and advice, Danish!
I had back to back narcissistic relationships and now that I'm out, my hair started growing again after 9 years of not growing/ getting shorter...
My mum took me once every 6 months to the worst and most convenient hairdressers, she did my hair many times and chopped the top of my ear off.
Oh my, I’d give that hairdresser a wide birth, I hope she didn’t charge you for the ear lop and all. 🤷♀️
@@wendyhannan2454 ohhh its worse. I meant my mum also did it many times herself and she is the one who did that to my ear..
I felt the urge to shave my head
I have clipper cut my hair at a # 2 twice. A # 2 is very short. I didn’t have a specific reason other than it being an urge. I can tell you that both times I’ve done it were very dark times in my emotions. Definitely due to narcissistic abuse. The second time I did it my sisters n I had taken on full time caregiving for our Mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We were her full time caregivers for the entirety of her disease. Her n I had a rocky relationship but I put that aside because she needed us. I had always colored my hair to cover the grey but taking care of her I didn’t have the energy to do my roots. They got long and it looked terrible. I’m a former cosmetologist and did hair for almost 40 years. For me to look at my own roots was unacceptable. So one morning before my shower I grabbed my clippers n buzzed of all of my long hair. It was definitely an impulsive move because I failed to think about how my Mom would react to it. She didn’t remember I was her daughter anymore but I knew she was going to hate it. 😮 Utoh! She didn’t swear before Alzheimer’s but when she saw me she was disgusted. She said I looked like an efffing dike. She actually said the F word. She went on about it for weeks, every single day when I went there for my shift. Eventually I could curl it. So I did and put on makeup (which I rarely did anymore) to “look pretty”. She was much nicer to me when I did. Being a caregiver for a (vulnerable narcissistic) parent is taxing on a person. Finding the energy to get pretty according to my Mother’s standards was hard work.
She passed with my sister and I holding her hands just 2 years ago the other day. My recuperation has been slow and painful. I’ve had other major setbacks because I’m also married to a narcissistic man. 41 years. 12 of them apart because I left. However, I’ve allowed myself to be pulled back in.
Sara Bareilles wrote a song that describes me as though she wrote it for n about me. Of course she didn’t.
It’s called, “She used to be mine”. I sob when I hear it so I don’t play it anymore. I will, one day when I’m free from my prison of misery. I will play it victoriously. ❤
I WILL be free! ✊🏽💪🏽👍🏽💯🙏🏽💝
Thank you for the content on your channel. Every validation brings us all closer to freedom from the narcissistic people in our world.
Blessings to you for your good work. 💝🙏🏽💝
Thank you so much Sir❤
the mental freeze thing , I very much understand.
Yes! It’s so freeing!!!
I started greying, losing weight, and downcasted eyes when I was still in my narcissistic relationship. Since leaving 3 years ago my hair is fuller/darker. I look years younger. My sister refers to my eyes as moon puddles now. Bright and whimsical when I talk.
Does moving interstate count? With one suitcase and no material things? And I actually don't want anything. I'm going to slowly start again! New wardrobe, as everything you wore and shared together, have some type of emotional attachment and triggers
I changed my hair and cleaned out and painted some rooms in the house, especially the areas where he used and destroyed.
Oh yes! Hair, new bed
😂
@xDanishBashir01-qv2bg Thank you very much, but I still have to go throw a lot of pain, I am getting there. Some days are harder than others. I have good people around me and I thank God for them! Especially for my children. Your Videos are great help too, thank you so much!
After he left I was like the energizer bunny . I took everything of his and put them in boxes and took them to his house. I painted and turned his two rooms into feminine looking rooms. It felt good to make my house my own withno vestige of him.
My hair was quite long and was thinning due to stress. My narc ex insisted I get my hair cut. I refused. I would braid it and wrap it around my neck to keep him from trying to cut it. It was about six years later when I had half the length cut. My hair was healing too.
Very very helpful!
Maybe better do that ..thank you so much
Its family parents ...but im done with all..i became sick of it ...NARCISM is evil
Maine sirf 3 mahine main hi khudko heal kar liya ... alhamdulillah ❤,,,now main khudko ak sigma bana dunga😌
I threw out a lot of things, I haven't kept anything that was in the house in the end.
takes on energies yucko !!!
My hair was long, below my hips, i cut it off to my chin 5 months post leaving. The same week I signed a lease for my own apartment. I definitely felt an urge to do it.