Oh my heart, my friend sat at her baby boys grave and asked everyone to please go, then she read the book LOVE YOU FOREVER. God bless this mommy and daddy.
oh that just about ripped my heart out. Love You Forever was the book I read to my two young sons almost every night---God bless this woman's bravery and I hope she knows she'll see her son again one day.
I am a nurse who worked 27 years in high risk obstetrics. I have held and cried with many Moms and Dads after their loss. Just as I did back then I cried listening to your story about Kylie. After 28 years in nursing I never became numb to people's suffering. I was always amazed at the miracle of birth and always felt deeply a families loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
"It was just an infant, you didn't have time to get attached." Someone seriously said that? Wow! Apparently they never had a baby grow inside of them. You love your child long before you even meet them. Just speaking as a mother myself! I'm so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing your story!❤
I agree. As a mom of 3 and my son is social needs you do love your child from the first time you hear their heart beat. At least that was the way it was for me
A dear friend of mine lost her infant son to SIDS at 12 weeks. In his funeral service, the priest praised her for being so lucky because she’d already achieved a mother’s greatest accomplishment by having a son already in Heaven. I was shocked! I did love the way they explained the baby’s death to his older brothers, 2 & 4 at the time. They told them that, if they went outside and looked up at the night sky, Christopher was the brightest star that they could see. I thought that was the most beautiful way to help them understand. I’ve taken grief counseling classes and, honestly, the best thing you can say is, “There’s nothing I can say that will heal your heart, but I love you and I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
I like the interview. Without sounding too strange, the reason I like your channel is because of my irrational and ever present fear of funeral homes. I guess I've watched too many movies. What you're doing for me is tremendous. I'm slowly overcoming it. Many thanks, Kari.
Me, too. I used to get automatically nauseous and light-headed walking in one. I guess it truly hit home when I lost my parents in 2012. I still try to stay away from them as much as I can. It's an awful feat, isn't it.
This is exactly why I finally clicked the recommended video and started watching. My husband knows my fears and what causes me to have anxiety and asked me why on Earth I was watching this!!! And I explained that Kari has a special way about her that how she explains and discusses these topics that make it less difficult for me. Information/knowledge is power. I want to have power over the things that cause me fear and anxiety. I still do not find seeing the equipment manageable, it hearing the process is so helpful and makes it go from strange and weird, to loving and kindness - the last acts of caring physically we can do for our loved ones.
Apparently, this woman and a lot of other people are not made aware that you can bring your deceased loved one home after their passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
In '97, my husband and I lost a little girl to Trisomy 18. It was devastating! However, in our small area of NC we had a fantastic funeral home that provided the burial and casket for free. It was a service they offered for families of stillborn children. We had a graveside service and the sweet person who accompanied my angel from the funeral home was wonderful. It's was such an overwhelming and harrowing time. I don't remember a lot of what happened because I was grieving so desperately. One thing that I can recall is the compassion that this company showed my family. They allowed us to place a baby doll into the casket with her and did everything with tremendous care and gentle regard. I am glad that this particular family had such a sweet and supportive experience. I know that the compassion and gentleness you showed this family is a genuine trait that you and your establishment truly possess. It is so much easier to get through a difficult time when you are treated with love. God bless♥️🙏♥️
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
I lost my baby girl last week and you are very right. I don't remember much(I wish I could so much) but when you are in shock ect you walk around like a broken robot..that's what it feels like...but the DEFINATE things you do remember, is what and how you were treated especially if it people were being extra sensitive or sweet and that's not always easy to know exactly what to do or say. I'm glad that you had a positive experience as far as funeral homes. I am so sorry that you lost your baby. I don't imagine that the feeling goes away. I just hope that it gets a little less heavy to bear.🌼
My goodness I am a father to twin identical 12 year old boys. I can’t even fathom the thought of loosing a child. My heartfelt condolences to you and most importantly thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story,.
This is so valuable. Thank you both so much. My cousin lost her baby around this age - not for any reason we could find, she just passed away. And I guess that happens but holy hell it was heart wrenching. I love though that the hospital arranged a photo session with little Sam and my cousins family before he was taken away. Thank y’all again. It’s so amazingly vulnerable to share this story but I know it can take away the fear from another mama who may be facing something similar.
Thank you, Kari, for creating this video. When my son was stillborn at 28 weeks the nursing staff was so compassionate. I remember how one nurse even cried with me when I refused to believe my baby had passed because I was positive I still felt him move. A white rose was placed on my hospital door which alerted the staff to be sensitive to my situation. Hearing this sweet mom share her story reminds me of how out of my mind I was during his funeral...I just wanted to take him home and to be left alone with him. It's been 25 years and I'm surprised that these feelings are still so real. (In memory of Baby Steven 2-6-95. I'll see you again my little angel in heaven).💙👶😇
Being a pediatric nurse who has cared for babies and children with trisomy 18 this really touched me. So heartbreaking yet beautiful at the same time if that is possible. Kari Northey you are such a kind and loving soul. For the other Kari, I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad your family was able to have caring people and an experience after such a loss. Bless you both.
I am watching this for the first time. My twins died 30 years ago and I fully understand what you went through. Our children who passed never leave us. ❤
I've never lost a baby but have lost an 8month old nephew and when you talked about leaving the cemetery it was hard for me....it was late fall, it was cold and all I could think of was him being warm. Such a difficult time for the parents and I totally understand. You were fortunate to find a funeral director to be there as she is.
When I had a miscarriage, my sister-in-law made vthe comment "I don't know why anyone would want to have a kid that time of year". That was 32 years ago and I will never forget that and how it made me feel.
My third pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage . I had a new OB/Gyn at the time & the entire office (since it was my first visit) was extremely uncaring & the Dr. was a heartless uncaring man. I was in pain emotionally & physically after the miscarriage (and the D&C) This was around a holiday though I can't recall since I was in shock. This was 22 yrs ago. What I do remember & will NEVER ever forget is how people ...even within our own Families & friends,is how everyone ignored it like it never happened. My Hubby's Aunt & my BIL (who married into the Family like myself) were the only two who came over to me & acknowledged it had happened. THAT HURT Tremendously
I've had 2 miscarriages 1st the baby would be 22yrs old the second the one would've turned 18 this past Jan. The 1st miscarriage is how I found out I was pregnant, I was going through the stress of my grandma passing & the Dr believed it was from all the stress, not knowing I was pregnant made it easier to deal with, the 2nd one I lost I was 23weeks gestation, I was having bad pains went to the ER & the on call obgyn was horrible, so coldly said the baby was on the outside of the sack stay home a few weeks & just flush when it happens, then said if you get yourself knocked up again come see me.... 2weeks went by & I went back to work, that morning I went into labor, my Dad took me to a different hospital I refused to see the same Dr. that was so cold, the other hospital couldn't believe what that Dr had said to me, I needed a D&C & absolutely not just flush!!! 6 month gestation couldn't just be flushed. I was mortified & couldn't leave the bed for weeks my husband, son, & MIL was amazing during that time of our lives, but what that Dr said 18 yrs later is exactly as I heard it yesterday, my heart drops to my stomach when I think about it. After I recovered we got pregnant with our 2nd child, lots of problems during the pregnancy but he was fine a few weeks after he was born he got to come home & the rest is history. I've had 2 boys I've lost 2 children, but I know there's a reason for those losses because I wouldn't have been able to take in my nephew', nieces, & countless other children at different times if I had 4 kids of my own
@Beren c I agree ... some people are distressed to discuss their own loss and some people want to not forget the baby, so outsiders aren't sure how to proceed: will it cause more pain to talk or just pretend nothing happened?
@@luvthemusic79 How awful for you to have such a heartless doctor. He should have gone into pathology rather than dealing with the living. He needed to be reported.
@@KingsDaughter1958 my mom had a hysterectomy from that same Dr. & he messed her up, she had to have a 2nd surgery & go to a nursing home to recover. She had started a lawsuit against him, but she passed away before it went to court. Absolutely not making excuses for the guy but he's been doing his job way too long, he's retirement age should've been 10yrs ago back when he seen me, so 30yrs ago today, he's old himself & old school. I currently have a 2yr old that's living with us, probably until she's 18, I don't see her going to her birth parents, she doesn't know them, he was the Dr that delivered her, she was born at 27weeks gestation & we know she's a blessing to be here everyday & for that I'm thankful for him saving her. In our small area this little girl might not have made it to the more experienced hospital had it not been for that man. So I'm pretty mixed on my feelings towards him. Some women love the guy & what he's done for them, others can't stand him. He might need better bedside manner obviously, but he is good at what he does & knowing at least 1 little person that's here because he was the birth Mom's Dr. I'll be forever grateful that he's doing what he is. It's definitely a strange mix of emotions to have towards a person for sure
Holy crap... I haven’t cried in a very long time but this broke me down... I couldn’t help but think of my own kids. Your guest is amazing and so are you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this difficult part of you with us. This video is over-two years old, but it showed up on my feed today. Sometime people say stupid things to a family in grief. They don’t want to say hurtful things; they just don’t know what to say. Kylie mattered. Her life mattered. You are a strong, lovely, beautiful lady. That pregnancy after loss is SO HARD! It takes a special courage to trust life again, and you did it. (and Doug) This video is perfect and you really honoured Kylie’s life.
I wish I would've had someone like you to help me when I was making my daughters arrangements! Her heart stopped beating at 27 weeks gestation. It's so sweet that you are helping these other mamas dealing with such a heartbreak!
Brandy Dillman I am so so sorry you had to go threw that 😔😢😭. I lost my daughter's twin I found out at 19 weeks that there was only one twin that survived thank God I have my baby girl and had 2 other children after one is 5 months old now ♡. I pray you get to experience a healthy pregnancy and baby ! God bless you and your angel baby 😇😇😘 .
I've watched a number of your videos, and I always admire your obvious care about the people you help. I am so glad you thought to do this one. My parents lost twin daughters that came between me and my little brother. This would be after 1962 and before 1966. They are buried in my father's family cemetery and I have always thought about them. My folks have never discussed it much but I've always known I had sisters that died shortly after birth. But thank you both.
Such a great video thank you mom Kari for being so brave to share your journey through grief and the loss of your little angel. My condolences. Kari (FD ) thank you for talking about infant death and helping to bury the taboos surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth. 🖤🖤
Bless her heart! When I was in Jr. High my Mom lost my baby Brother, he was still born and had hydrocephalis. I remember the tiny white casket and the funeral and how incredibly sad it was. I can't fathom being the Parent in that situation. Bless your heart for having to deal with that pain and loss. And to the other Kari who was there to help with questions and give comfort when it was most needed.
leaving the hospital with my babies, I paused to think of the women who didn’t get to bring their babies home. And my heart broke for them, I can’t imagine.
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
Just watching this video just ripped my heart out. I am sitting here sobbing. I can not even imagine your loss and pain. I am so sorry. You have an angel waiting for you when it is time to cross over. My husband died seven years ago and I still grieve daily. Love and hugs.
Hello Kari & Kari, Sisters of the 💓. I know this is an older video but I came across it today. Coming to you from Knoxville, TN. Bless you both for opening up a dialogue that nobody wants to touch, & understandably so. God placed you in each other's lives. Unfortunately, not every funeral home has a Kari N. Thank God for her help. Sending my love & prayers to both of you strong women!!
Kari, I have been fortunate and blessed to never lost any of my children. I can only think of the pain and sadness and loss that a parent feels when they have lost their baby/child. I think you did such a great job with this mom and dad.
Kari, you are an amazing & kind person! My son died at 4 yrs old of an incurable disease. The funeral home we used was incredibly kind & helpful to us. They offered to allow me to cover & tuck my baby in his casket & then close it - that was very helpful to me.
A number of years ago, I had friends who were blessed with a baby with Trisom 13. She lived a month & died in her mom's & dad's arms. They were so strong through the whole ordeal. I appreciate Funeral Home staff that help in areas that I wouldn't have been able to at the time. Thanks Kari.
I lost my first daughter at 19 weeks 5 days. Two days short of 20 weeks. At 20 weeks, they are considered a life, they get a birth and death certificate. At 19w5d, they don't. Her name was Lydia. My mom didn't come when she had to be born because she was too busy. My in-laws didn't come because my husband didn't want to tell them and make them sad. My daughter was born and I semi passed out. The nurses scooped her up and put her in a plastic container and snapped on the lid. I still remember that sound. I passed out a little more from the bleeding, and when I came to I asked to see her, but my husband had signed papers to put her in the incinerator right after she was born. When I cried, the nurse looked at me and said, "well, she wasn't really a person!" (two days short, I guess.). I never saw her. I just wanted to hold her once, to see her. I'm a doula now, and every birth I go to, they pick up the placenta and put it in a white plastic container and snap on the lid. I hear that sound every time. I see the stacks of those containers in the storage room, and the memories come back. But I am happy to be there with women so no one goes through a birth, whether it end in life or death, alone. She would have been 23 this year. I never had a memorial or a grave for her, but last year, my friend let me lay a stone with her name on it at her baby girl's grave (also died right before she was born). We move so often that it is better near my friend's house so I know I can always go and sit there. That was the single greatest gift I've ever been given because my husband never understood why I grieved for my daughter, and I never told him about her stone. My other kids all talked about their sister growing up and used to invent ladders or contraptions to "get up to heaven and bring her back!". Their grief was the only companionship I had in grieving my little girl, but it meant so much to me even in their little childish ways of expressing it and questioning about her. You never forget, you never lose the pain, but the joy of life becomes greater and more real. And heaven isn't a foreign place anymore, but is where my daughter is. She went straight from the safety of my womb to the arms of God never knowing pain or grief. That comforted me.
I'm so sorry for your loss. If my mother did that to me, i would never speak to her again. Too busy? Wow! Your husband could have been more compassionate to let you see the baby. And the nurse was very insensitive saying that your baby wasn't a person. I would knocked the hell out of her ass for saying such hurtful things. I'm so sorry that you were around such mean people when you needed confort during a traumatic time. I'm sending you a great big hug to make up for the heartbreak you experienced. Love from Houston,TX🙏🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤
A great topic. I am a retired psychiatric nurse and my boss sent several of us to an all day conference on grieving as each of us had a recent loss. They spent some time talked about children's grieving and it is similar to what you mentioned. There were a lot of young cousins at a relatives funeral after I attended the conference. Their parents set up a little children's corner with all types of toys. One of the adults was telling me how his little boy would come to his father and ask, "did grandpa go to heaven." The father told him yes that his grandpa was in heaven. The little cousin cried a little bit then wanted to get down and join the other children in play. As you mentioned and the conference told us was that young minds can only deal with grief in little bursts, then they laugh and play until they have another burst of grief. It was so interesting to hear this at a conference and then see it at a family viewing.
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
My brothers 3rd child had the extra chromosome..Baby Nathan, he lived for 3 days and died in my brothers arms.. It was a very sad time and sadly my brother and his wife blamed each other then ended up splitting and unfortunately divorcing... I can understand, especially for this woman..So sad..We had a funeral for Nathan, although it wasn't big and no hearse was used but my brother rode in a van provided by the funeral home and got to carry Nathans tiny coffin to his grave.. .. This happened in 2003 in Schaghticoke,Ny ( upstate ) I often think he would have been fourteen years old now, all the what if's... You're friend Kari is a courageous woman, I'm sure you made it very comforting for her as well..-God Bless
Thank you ladies. This is an informative interview. For the mother who has never felt the lost of a child, the feelings are just unfathomable, but this is good information to prepare future mothers of what can happen. You two are are so kind for sharing.
My aunt had her baby in 2000. We too live in upstate. Her and my uncle split up as well. Yesterday was samanthas birthday. So weird this video just showed up in my suggestions. My son has a flawed chromosome. They are 5 days apart. He wasnt supposed to live past his teens. He turned 20 last week. I will be a mess when he passes away. I hope I am strong enough.
@22:40 She states she expected a friend to be there more than she was. When I lost my Dad I expected some friends to be there and they seemed to avoid me rather, while other “lesser” friends went up to the plate. It can be an awakening when it comes to friends, I don’t hold anything against anyone, but you do get a new perspective.
Kari Northey my friends nephew drowned in a sudden, quick and severe storm that arose on a lake. At the service she came to me and said his body was leaking fluid (he was young and heavy set). I assumed this was from the drowning because they could not find his body, even with a life preserver on, right away, how does this happen?
Simply beautiful. I have lost two babies and my surviving child has Down syndrome. This was a wonderful honest conversation. Thank you both for sharing it with others❤️🌹
I too have a absolute beautiful daughter that has down syndrome I adopted her at 12 weeks she's 28 now and still loved tremendously by all of us we r so lucky that she has never had any life threatening illness I'm truly blessed with my little shugie Blessed be to u and ur baby
I'm a father and the whole comment about "not enough time to be attached" comment really irritates me. I didn't have to carry any of our children internally, obviously, but I fell in love with all three of my girls and my son even before they came into the world. I fell in love with the sound of their heartbeat, their ultrasound pictures, etc. Sometimes people need to realize that you should think before speaking. I'm training to become a funeral director/embalmer and I've found just a simple "I'm hear for you if you need to talk" and leaving it at that is enough.
My only sibling died when I was 34 in a tragic manner and I was devastated. At the funeral parlor a second cousin came up to me and said "I know now why you never married....it will be up to you to take care of your parents now". My M&D were only in their early 60's at the time! And I considered myself a young person who could still be married (and I did get married). I remember thinking "WOW, seriously?"
Thank you both for sharing ❤️ with my cousin and very close friends infant loses, they both said they wanted people to say their child's name. It's something that made a huge difference in how I as a relative and friends went forward. It has been 17yrs and I still speak of their children by their name and share with them when I think of their babies that passed away.
Thank you, Kari, for sharing your story. I was a Labor&Delivery nurse and I have seen how difficult and heartbreaking losing a child can be. I can only imagine your pain. God bless you. Know your daughter is in God's arms.
I lost my son Austin to Trisomy 18, and that was 23 years ago. I grieved for my son for 17 years. It is extremely hard to go on with life after losing an infant. Regular people who never loose a child can not understand what us who have loose a child to Trisomy 18.
Thank you so much for doing this segment. My nephew & his wife had a triploidy baby. This lady is so courageous to be able to speak of something so dear to her heart.
This is especially helpful for me, as I raised no children. I did lose a very wanted baby fifty years ago, the only time I became pregnant so I know time does not heal loss. And I know miscarriages are not the trivial event some seem to believe. But to hear what you and your husband went through tears at my heart.Thank you for baring your heart and helping us understand. To revisit this pain in front of strangers took courage. 💚
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
Again. Late commenting. It’s taken me a very long time to realize that there is nothing another person can say that will ease the pain of loss. So what I say is “I love you. If you need anything at all please call me. But remember most that I love you.” As I’ve lost more loved ones in my life I’ve come to learn that we each have very individual reactions to loss and how we deal with it. Even in a situation where the loss is of the same person loved by the same people the reactions and needs can be totally different. It is most certainly very individualized. What is best for me to hear, I love you! Is what I say to others. I love you. In that I pray that it is what that person needs to hear.
I'm a grandmother of a trisomy 18 baby that didn't make it to delivery. That was 2 year's ago on Mothers day and the parents still greave her. But have a 5 year old daughter. That knows all about her. This video would of really helped them then. Aaron Watson's story helped them a lot. Thank you for sharing .
i’m so thankful to have stumbled across this video. three years ago, my mother gave birth to my beautiful sister kinsley rose, who had trisomy 18, which i had never even heard of. she lived for 4 days and was able to pass at home with all of us around her, and she will always live in my heart forever. i’m so so so thankful that you are talking about this condition that so many people haven’t heard of. thank you.
also, oddly enough, the care that was given to us at that time is what prompted me to go to mortuary school and become a funeral director as well! C/O 2023!
I almost didn’t watch this (I knew it would make me cry) but so glad I did! We never know how to act or what to say and now I know. Thank you! PS. I really like your channel.
Great interview. So sorry for your loss. My father passed away when I was 5 and my mom did not bring us to the funeral home at all. I am 36 now and would definitely involve my kids if I were in the same situation at my mom. I still feel a huge loss and no closure.
Courtjowhite - I went to my grandma’s funeral (open casket) at age 5, and I was really confused and a bit frightened as to what was going on....it was probably a hard decision for your momma.
@@marys3127 I agree. Seeing my grandmother in her casket when I was 8 and hearing her (grown) daughters' loud grieving traumatized me for literally years. I am pleased that my own parents opted for cremation and that's my own plan, but that doesn't mean I recommend cremation in the loss of a child. Death is hard - there is no avoiding that reality. My trust in Jesus Christ for eternal salvation is my comfort and joy. How unbelievers face death is beyond my understanding.
My children were 3 & 5 when their paternal grands died, full participation. When my dad died they were 10 & 8, they struggled with greater understanding. The following year my brother died, because we never hid reality from them, they both helped with emotionally supporting me, and mourning his loss fully. At my moms funeral (Catholic) they took the gifts to the altar, while their much older cousins were pall bearers. Death is part of life, shielding from reality is simply delaying, it is another skill everyone must learn, and we owe our children.
I was going to make hats for the NICU but one of the nurse practitioners I work with said to instead make preemie burial clothes and burial shrouds (angel wraps). It's so needed! Much more than hats!
Thank you so much Kari and Kari I've learned so much through your experience and thank you for sharing such difficult time in your life with us to help us become better at our future careers. I thank you for your transparency and bringing to light the feelings and sometimes the things that may have been said or done in love that offended you. I will definitely keep these things in mind. Thank you
Thank you for taking the time to share this video others probably share the same grief abour their child..myself I had to abort a child very early in my pegnancy I still grieved even though it was a embyo .The emptiness you feel hardest thing to go through..Im so sorry this happened to you .Just know you will see her again god will her waiting...
This was a very well done video It did make me cry but There was just one thing I want to say. Nobody should be judged by anyone by how long the grieving process takes that is individual to each couple and nobody has the rite to comment on it.
This video was very hard to watch, shed tears and cried, I hope time heals your pain, beautiful mum and dad and very lovely funeral director. Finding your new normal I like that , big hugs 👍
For the first three and half years during my internship as an assistant funeral director and embalmer, I had worked more than my share of infant, child and teen deaths in the funeral home setting. Not one time did it ever get easy to do these types of services. I don't believe there was never a time I didn't break down and cry with the family. One in particular that I remember so well was in 1988. We had a thirteen-year-old female who succumbed to her disease Cerebral palsy. The young child had major limb atrophy. I really didn't know at first how I was going to prepare her small body for viewing at this point. The family had brought some of her recent photo's just days before her death. It wasn't until a few hours after the family left the funeral home before I came to an idea of viewing preparation. I just simply laid her on her right and put her baby doll that the family wanted to be in the casket with her and placed the doll in between her arm as to her hugging the baby. I was so worried that the family may have some hate toward me after, but as I seen fit, I left her as I did. When the family came to see her during the visitation it was like you could hear a pin drop fall. Just a few moments later, the mother turned around and just hugged me with the strongest embraced ever. She then looked at me and said thank you so much for not changing the way I remember her life. I remember I just broke down and sobbed with her and her husband. They were so pleased with the services that they wrote a complete story about the special services we provided for them. This shows that grieving families need people like us to make unusual decisions for them. Hope this story helps other embalmers and funeral directors the same. Sincerely! Dankous Warman.
Who the crap would say you are young enough to have another one! Insensitive. I guess I understand never to say that as I can’t have children. I will NEVER know the pain that you have gone through Kari however I feel huge loss because of my situation. Also I wore doll clothes when I was a baby I was preemie. I weighed 3lb 10 oz❤️ ty for sharing Kylie with us
thank you for your interview you're interview will help others who have experience the same thing I don't think I can do it if it were me 😢😢 Kari you're an amazing funeral director that you do this for families
Kari, I just want to thank you so much for making these vids. I had know clue about some of the options we have. Also, it really speaks in volume what type of person you are, considering this lady is friends with you now. I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you. I pray the next time I need these type services, that I'll have someone like you, be helpful, compassionate and as understanding as you seem to be. Ok, ttyl gotta get back to your vids! Lol..Im on #6. I have a long way to go.
My granddaughter, Sophia, died at one month....my daughter was a basket case, even suicidal...hardest experience in my life too....Since then, 4 years ago, my daughter will not return to the church or visit the grave...I take care of it. 💔🙏
I wish this was more present. Alot of mothers dont even know it's an option. Of course it's not for everyone but I think if more mothers and family knew about this they would want this option!
YES! I’ve really wanted to do some fundraising so each of our local hospitals have Cuddle Cots. Either through Go Fund Me or have people sponsor me in a race (I’m a runner). This needs to happen! 😊 Maybe for next year as A LOT of races are being forced either schedules because of COVID-19.
@@janethughes3797 So it’s not an option for you. Don’t speak for every mom who’s lost a baby who would give anything to spend more with their deceased baby. I am very sorry for your loss. A Cuddle Cot is used in Labor and Delivery, and generally not for use by the general funeral industry.
@@aviatrix91 I HAVE LOST A BABY, SHE WAS 4 1/2. I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO KEEP UR CHILD COLD SO 50 DIFFERENT FRIENDS CAN COME IN AND HOLD THE BABY, NO I WOULDN'T CHOOSE NOTHING LIKE THAT, IT'S NOT FOR ME, AND I'M N SOME CASES I THINK IT'S HARDER ON THE MOM. I'VE HAD TWO FRIENDS THAT USED THEM, ONE OF SAID SHE JUST COULDN'T DO IT 30 MIN AFTER THE BABY WAS LAID IN HERS, MY PTHER FRIEND USED IT BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WAS ON A TRIP 14HRS AWAY JUST SO HE COULD SEE WHT HIS SON LOOKED LIKE AT THE TIME OF HIS BIRTH,BEFORE THE BODY STARTED IT'S PROCESS OF DECAYING, THAT'S MY STORY, AND MY OPINION ON IT. I KNOW OTHER WOMEN USE THEM,IF THAT HELPS THEM GREAT. BUT I FIND THEM KIND OF MORBID.
When I lost my son at two years of age I thought it was going to kill me. I demanded that I get to hold my son before they took him to donate his organs so someone else could live. It was the last time I would hold my sons warm body. The hospital almost didn't let me but the transplant team insisted I have that last moment with my son. The funeral home was awesome. Childrens caskets didn't have the seals at the time and I was so scared bug's and other critters would get in. They made a seal for both the casket and the vault to ease my pain and made sure to show those seals to me before his burial. I now am better educated on things but It did ease some of the pain for me. Mama Kari please accept my thanks for your courage in speaking. Kari thank you for being such a caring and compassionate funeral director. I have learnt so much from you and from another channel here on youtube.
Man, I have my 20 week scan next week and hearing her story just made me sob. I’ve had two miscarriages so I somewhat understand her pain. What a sweet time between believing friends and I appreciate the sharing of info. Heaven is such a beautiful promise even in the midst of great sadness. ❤️
Mom- We are sad you went through this experience. - Our prayers are with you & family. We Thank you for participating with Kari in our education. Kari, you are so compassionate & gentle. I Personally like that. Thank you for sharing & for your time.
I am so impressed with this one. Such a beautiful way of communicating and such a blessing to other families in this situation and past this situation. Thank you for this.
We had powder blue hurse and my ex carried casket from the car to graveside. I waited until the service was over n everyone left to watch the guys in muddy jumpsuits use ropes to lower the casket. Ty for sharing your story.
Im in Northern Ireland and the funeral directors do a good job in assisting families who have lost a child. The council also provide the death certificate for free and the opening of the grave fee is waived. My brother lost a child and the funeral directors service's including the coffin were provided for free. I asked the funeral director how could they do this and he said they all did it as an act of compassion. If i remeber correctly he said they did this for kids aged up to 12. He also said that it didnt harm business as families appreciate what they do and would always give them repeat business when other relatives passed on. That is true as we always use that same funeral director.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful little Kylie’s story with us. You are a Pillar of Strength and may God continue to bless you and your family💕💙
Kari Northey Kari!! Thank you SO much for replying! I am a huge fan and I want you to know you are an absolute Angel!! You do amazing work for families to ease their pain. You have such a gift, thank you for sharing!!
It was a very hard thing to go through, we think about Kylie all the time. We are ok and have a wonderful life. I appreciate yoir comment and Thank you for watching our story. She was a beautiful gift from God.
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Oh my heart, my friend sat at her baby boys grave and asked everyone to please go, then she read the book LOVE YOU FOREVER. God bless this mommy and daddy.
oh that just about ripped my heart out. Love You Forever was the book I read to my two young sons almost every night---God bless this woman's bravery and I hope she knows she'll see her son again one day.
My kids are 31, 21, 18, and 15 and I still start to cry while reading that book. It pulls at the heart of any decent mother or loving individual.
That book makes me cry every single time
)11
I am a nurse who worked 27 years in high risk obstetrics. I have held and cried with many Moms and Dads after their loss. Just as I did back then I cried listening to your story about Kylie. After 28 years in nursing I never became numb to people's suffering. I was always amazed at the miracle of birth and always felt deeply a families loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you
Thank u for loving our super special babies
"It was just an infant, you didn't have time to get attached." Someone seriously said that? Wow! Apparently they never had a baby grow inside of them. You love your child long before you even meet them. Just speaking as a mother myself! I'm so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing your story!❤
I agree. As a mom of 3 and my son is social needs you do love your child from the first time you hear their heart beat. At least that was the way it was for me
I can't say that from a mother's point of view, but as a new aunt, I cannot imagine not loving this life my sister is growing.
How freaking hurtful!
Julie Peters
You said that so well! ❤️
Julie Peters this happened15yearsago.
A dear friend of mine lost her infant son to SIDS at 12 weeks. In his funeral service, the priest praised her for being so lucky because she’d already achieved a mother’s greatest accomplishment by having a son already in Heaven. I was shocked! I did love the way they explained the baby’s death to his older brothers, 2 & 4 at the time. They told them that, if they went outside and looked up at the night sky, Christopher was the brightest star that they could see. I thought that was the most beautiful way to help them understand. I’ve taken grief counseling classes and, honestly, the best thing you can say is, “There’s nothing I can say that will heal your heart, but I love you and I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
Thanks
I lost my son at 29 minutes old and it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life!! I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss
So sorry Ashley x
Thank y'all so much
@@Rebelgirl-kv6bd I am sorry for your loss also.... sending Love.....
She’s such a strong woman!! May the baby be resting in paradise 🙏♥️
I like the interview. Without sounding too strange, the reason I like your channel is because of my irrational and ever present fear of funeral homes. I guess I've watched too many movies. What you're doing for me is tremendous. I'm slowly overcoming it. Many thanks, Kari.
Me, too. I used to get automatically nauseous and light-headed walking in one. I guess it truly hit home when I lost my parents in 2012. I still try to stay away from them as much as I can. It's an awful feat, isn't it.
This is exactly why I finally clicked the recommended video and started watching. My husband knows my fears and what causes me to have anxiety and asked me why on Earth I was watching this!!! And I explained that Kari has a special way about her that how she explains and discusses these topics that make it less difficult for me. Information/knowledge is power. I want to have power over the things that cause me fear and anxiety. I still do not find seeing the equipment manageable, it hearing the process is so helpful and makes it go from strange and weird, to loving and kindness - the last acts of caring physically we can do for our loved ones.
Apparently, this woman and a lot of other people are not made aware that you can bring your deceased loved one home after their passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
They are just babbling. Get on with the program. It seems like Kari wasn't prepared and is just trying to kill time .Not interesting at all!!!
In '97, my husband and I lost a little girl to Trisomy 18. It was devastating! However, in our small area of NC we had a fantastic funeral home that provided the burial and casket for free. It was a service they offered for families of stillborn children. We had a graveside service and the sweet person who accompanied my angel from the funeral home was wonderful. It's was such an overwhelming and harrowing time. I don't remember a lot of what happened because I was grieving so desperately. One thing that I can recall is the compassion that this company showed my family. They allowed us to place a baby doll into the casket with her and did everything with tremendous care and gentle regard. I am glad that this particular family had such a sweet and supportive experience. I know that the compassion and gentleness you showed this family is a genuine trait that you and your establishment truly possess. It is so much easier to get through a difficult time when you are treated with love. God bless♥️🙏♥️
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
I lost my baby girl last week and you are very right. I don't remember much(I wish I could so much) but when you are in shock ect you walk around like a broken robot..that's what it feels like...but the DEFINATE things you do remember, is what and how you were treated especially if it people were being extra sensitive or sweet and that's not always easy to know exactly what to do or say. I'm glad that you had a positive experience as far as funeral homes. I am so sorry that you lost your baby. I don't imagine that the feeling goes away. I just hope that it gets a little less heavy to bear.🌼
@@mombradshaw5528 So sorry for your loss.
@@YoungoneYoung-lm4xe Thank you, so much♥️
My goodness I am a father to twin identical 12 year old boys. I can’t even fathom the thought of loosing a child. My heartfelt condolences to you and most importantly thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story,.
This is so valuable. Thank you both so much. My cousin lost her baby around this age - not for any reason we could find, she just passed away. And I guess that happens but holy hell it was heart wrenching. I love though that the hospital arranged a photo session with little Sam and my cousins family before he was taken away.
Thank y’all again. It’s so amazingly vulnerable to share this story but I know it can take away the fear from another mama who may be facing something similar.
Thank you!
Thank you, Kari, for creating this video. When my son was stillborn at 28 weeks the nursing staff was so compassionate. I remember how one nurse even cried with me when I refused to believe my baby had passed because I was positive I still felt him move. A white rose was placed on my hospital door which alerted the staff to be sensitive to my situation. Hearing this sweet mom share her story reminds me of how out of my mind I was during his funeral...I just wanted to take him home and to be left alone with him. It's been 25 years and I'm surprised that these feelings are still so real. (In memory of Baby Steven 2-6-95. I'll see you again my little angel in heaven).💙👶😇
Indeed you will and what a joyous day that will be for you both, God Bless
Being a pediatric nurse who has cared for babies and children with trisomy 18 this really touched me. So heartbreaking yet beautiful at the same time if that is possible. Kari Northey you are such a kind and loving soul. For the other Kari, I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad your family was able to have caring people and an experience after such a loss. Bless you both.
I am watching this for the first time. My twins died 30 years ago and I fully understand what you went through. Our children who passed never leave us. ❤
I've never lost a baby but have lost an 8month old nephew and when you talked about leaving the cemetery it was hard for me....it was late fall, it was cold and all I could think of was him being warm. Such a difficult time for the parents and I totally understand.
You were fortunate to find a funeral director to be there as she is.
Thank you
When I had a miscarriage, my sister-in-law made vthe comment "I don't know why anyone would want to have a kid that time of year". That was 32 years ago and I will never forget that and how it made me feel.
My third pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage . I had a new OB/Gyn at the time & the entire office (since it was my first visit) was extremely uncaring & the Dr. was a heartless uncaring man. I was in pain emotionally & physically after the miscarriage (and the D&C) This was around a holiday though I can't recall since I was in shock. This was 22 yrs ago. What I do remember & will NEVER ever forget is how people ...even within our own Families & friends,is how everyone ignored it like it never happened. My Hubby's Aunt & my BIL (who married into the Family like myself) were the only two who came over to me & acknowledged it had happened. THAT HURT Tremendously
I've had 2 miscarriages 1st the baby would be 22yrs old the second the one would've turned 18 this past Jan. The 1st miscarriage is how I found out I was pregnant, I was going through the stress of my grandma passing & the Dr believed it was from all the stress, not knowing I was pregnant made it easier to deal with, the 2nd one I lost I was 23weeks gestation, I was having bad pains went to the ER & the on call obgyn was horrible, so coldly said the baby was on the outside of the sack stay home a few weeks & just flush when it happens, then said if you get yourself knocked up again come see me.... 2weeks went by & I went back to work, that morning I went into labor, my Dad took me to a different hospital I refused to see the same Dr. that was so cold, the other hospital couldn't believe what that Dr had said to me, I needed a D&C & absolutely not just flush!!! 6 month gestation couldn't just be flushed. I was mortified & couldn't leave the bed for weeks my husband, son, & MIL was amazing during that time of our lives, but what that Dr said 18 yrs later is exactly as I heard it yesterday, my heart drops to my stomach when I think about it. After I recovered we got pregnant with our 2nd child, lots of problems during the pregnancy but he was fine a few weeks after he was born he got to come home & the rest is history. I've had 2 boys I've lost 2 children, but I know there's a reason for those losses because I wouldn't have been able to take in my nephew', nieces, & countless other children at different times if I had 4 kids of my own
@Beren c I agree ... some people are distressed to discuss their own loss and some people want to not forget the baby, so outsiders aren't sure how to proceed: will it cause more pain to talk or just pretend nothing happened?
@@luvthemusic79 How awful for you to have such a heartless doctor. He should have gone into pathology rather than dealing with the living. He needed to be reported.
@@KingsDaughter1958 my mom had a hysterectomy from that same Dr. & he messed her up, she had to have a 2nd surgery & go to a nursing home to recover. She had started a lawsuit against him, but she passed away before it went to court. Absolutely not making excuses for the guy but he's been doing his job way too long, he's retirement age should've been 10yrs ago back when he seen me, so 30yrs ago today, he's old himself & old school. I currently have a 2yr old that's living with us, probably until she's 18, I don't see her going to her birth parents, she doesn't know them, he was the Dr that delivered her, she was born at 27weeks gestation & we know she's a blessing to be here everyday & for that I'm thankful for him saving her. In our small area this little girl might not have made it to the more experienced hospital had it not been for that man. So I'm pretty mixed on my feelings towards him. Some women love the guy & what he's done for them, others can't stand him. He might need better bedside manner obviously, but he is good at what he does & knowing at least 1 little person that's here because he was the birth Mom's Dr. I'll be forever grateful that he's doing what he is. It's definitely a strange mix of emotions to have towards a person for sure
Holy crap... I haven’t cried in a very long time but this broke me down... I couldn’t help but think of my own kids. Your guest is amazing and so are you.
Kari you are a beautiful person for how you handled things and you are so caring. I love how you refer to the deceased as a person and not the body.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing this difficult part of you with us.
This video is over-two years old, but it showed up on my feed today.
Sometime people say stupid things to a family in grief. They don’t want to say hurtful things; they just don’t know what to say.
Kylie mattered.
Her life mattered.
You are a strong, lovely, beautiful lady.
That pregnancy after loss is SO HARD! It takes a special courage to trust life again, and you did it. (and Doug)
This video is perfect and you really honoured Kylie’s life.
I wish I would've had someone like you to help me when I was making my daughters arrangements! Her heart stopped beating at 27 weeks gestation. It's so sweet that you are helping these other mamas dealing with such a heartbreak!
Brandy Dillman I am so so sorry you had to go threw that 😔😢😭. I lost my daughter's twin I found out at 19 weeks that there was only one twin that survived thank God I have my baby girl and had 2 other children after one is 5 months old now ♡. I pray you get to experience a healthy pregnancy and baby ! God bless you and your angel baby 😇😇😘 .
I’m sorry Brandy 💗
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. From one mom to another, my heart goes out to you along with hugs and prayers. ❤️❤️
Why wouldn’t you just get a portion
An aborted fetus under 2
Weeks can’t feel pain, and you know it’s going to die anyway
I just don’t see the point
I'm sorry for your loss
I've watched a number of your videos, and I always admire your obvious care about the people you help. I am so glad you thought to do this one. My parents lost twin daughters that came between me and my little brother. This would be after 1962 and before 1966. They are buried in my father's family cemetery and I have always thought about them. My folks have never discussed it much but I've always known I had sisters that died shortly after birth. But thank you both.
Such a great video thank you mom Kari for being so brave to share your journey through grief and the loss of your little angel. My condolences. Kari (FD ) thank you for talking about infant death and helping to bury the taboos surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth. 🖤🖤
Bless her heart! When I was in Jr. High my Mom lost my baby Brother, he was still born and had hydrocephalis. I remember the tiny white casket and the funeral and how incredibly sad it was. I can't fathom being the Parent in that situation. Bless your heart for having to deal with that pain and loss. And to the other Kari who was there to help with questions and give comfort when it was most needed.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this difficult story. 🙏🏿 May God ease your grief.
leaving the hospital with my babies, I paused to think of the women who didn’t get to bring their babies home. And my heart broke for them, I can’t imagine.
So sad
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
This brought tears to my eyes. You two were brought together for a reason. You are such a special and kind person Kari ❤️
Just watching this video just ripped my heart out. I am sitting here sobbing. I can not even imagine your loss and pain. I am so sorry. You have an angel waiting for you when it is time to cross over. My husband died seven years ago and I still grieve daily. Love and hugs.
Hello Kari & Kari, Sisters of the 💓. I know this is an older video but I came across it today. Coming to you from Knoxville, TN. Bless you both for opening up a dialogue that nobody wants to touch, & understandably so. God placed you in each other's lives. Unfortunately, not every funeral home has a Kari N. Thank God for her help. Sending my love & prayers to both of you strong women!!
Kari, I have been fortunate and blessed to never lost any of my children. I can only think of the pain and sadness and loss that a parent feels when they have lost their baby/child. I think you did such a great job with this mom and dad.
Kari, you are an amazing & kind person! My son died at 4 yrs old of an incurable disease. The funeral home we used was incredibly kind & helpful to us. They offered to allow me to cover & tuck my baby in his casket & then close it - that was very helpful to me.
So thankful you were cared for by the right people!
This was a genuinely beautiful representation of the process. Thank you for sharing.
My heart goes out to you Kari. I'm so sorry for your loss.
A number of years ago, I had friends who were blessed with a baby with Trisom 13. She lived a month & died in her mom's & dad's arms. They were so strong through the whole ordeal. I appreciate Funeral Home staff that help in areas that I wouldn't have been able to at the time. Thanks Kari.
Thank you so much for sharing about her :)
I lost my first daughter at 19 weeks 5 days. Two days short of 20 weeks. At 20 weeks, they are considered a life, they get a birth and death certificate. At 19w5d, they don't. Her name was Lydia. My mom didn't come when she had to be born because she was too busy. My in-laws didn't come because my husband didn't want to tell them and make them sad. My daughter was born and I semi passed out. The nurses scooped her up and put her in a plastic container and snapped on the lid. I still remember that sound.
I passed out a little more from the bleeding, and when I came to I asked to see her, but my husband had signed papers to put her in the incinerator right after she was born. When I cried, the nurse looked at me and said, "well, she wasn't really a person!" (two days short, I guess.). I never saw her. I just wanted to hold her once, to see her.
I'm a doula now, and every birth I go to, they pick up the placenta and put it in a white plastic container and snap on the lid. I hear that sound every time. I see the stacks of those containers in the storage room, and the memories come back. But I am happy to be there with women so no one goes through a birth, whether it end in life or death, alone.
She would have been 23 this year. I never had a memorial or a grave for her, but last year, my friend let me lay a stone with her name on it at her baby girl's grave (also died right before she was born). We move so often that it is better near my friend's house so I know I can always go and sit there. That was the single greatest gift I've ever been given because my husband never understood why I grieved for my daughter, and I never told him about her stone.
My other kids all talked about their sister growing up and used to invent ladders or contraptions to "get up to heaven and bring her back!". Their grief was the only companionship I had in grieving my little girl, but it meant so much to me even in their little childish ways of expressing it and questioning about her. You never forget, you never lose the pain, but the joy of life becomes greater and more real. And heaven isn't a foreign place anymore, but is where my daughter is. She went straight from the safety of my womb to the arms of God never knowing pain or grief. That comforted me.
Thank you for sharing your story with us!!
Michelle, so sorry for your loss. Bless you for sharing. xx
I'm so sorry for your loss. If my mother did that to me, i would never speak to her again. Too busy? Wow! Your husband could have been more compassionate to let you see the baby. And the nurse was very insensitive saying that your baby wasn't a person. I would knocked the hell out of her ass for saying such hurtful things. I'm so sorry that you were around such mean people when you needed confort during a traumatic time. I'm sending you a great big hug to make up for the heartbreak you experienced. Love from Houston,TX🙏🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤
That was horrible.
I'm so sorry for your loss and the cruelty.
What a beautiful way to turn your grief into action, to help birthing mothers to never feel alone in their journey. I wish you peace and comfort.
A great topic. I am a retired psychiatric nurse and my boss sent several of us to an all day conference on grieving as each of us had a recent loss. They spent some time talked about children's grieving and it is similar to what you mentioned. There were a lot of young cousins at a relatives funeral after I attended the conference. Their parents set up a little children's corner with all types of toys. One of the adults was telling me how his little boy would come to his father and ask, "did grandpa go to heaven." The father told him yes that his grandpa was in heaven. The little cousin cried a little bit then wanted to get down and join the other children in play. As you mentioned and the conference told us was that young minds can only deal with grief in little bursts, then they laugh and play until they have another burst of grief. It was so interesting to hear this at a conference and then see it at a family viewing.
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
My brothers 3rd child had the extra chromosome..Baby Nathan, he lived for 3 days and died in my brothers arms.. It was a very sad time and sadly my brother and his wife blamed each other then ended up splitting and unfortunately divorcing... I can understand, especially for this woman..So sad..We had a funeral for Nathan, although it wasn't big and no hearse was used but my brother rode in a van provided by the funeral home and got to carry Nathans tiny coffin to his grave.. .. This happened in 2003 in Schaghticoke,Ny ( upstate ) I often think he would have been fourteen years old now, all the what if's... You're friend Kari is a courageous woman, I'm sure you made it very comforting for her as well..-God Bless
Yeah she is, you put some great content up !!! thank you!
Thank you ladies. This is an informative interview. For the mother who has never felt the lost of a child, the feelings are just unfathomable, but this is good information to prepare future mothers of what can happen. You two are are so kind for sharing.
My aunt had her baby in 2000. We too live in upstate. Her and my uncle split up as well. Yesterday was samanthas birthday. So weird this video just showed up in my suggestions. My son has a flawed chromosome. They are 5 days apart. He wasnt supposed to live past his teens. He turned 20 last week. I will be a mess when he passes away. I hope I am strong enough.
This will make you cry.
My daughter lost her first pregnancy as set of twins to TTTS.
This is extremely hard.
@22:40 She states she expected a friend to be there more than she was. When I lost my Dad I expected some friends to be there and they seemed to avoid me rather, while other “lesser” friends went up to the plate. It can be an awakening when it comes to friends, I don’t hold anything against anyone, but you do get a new perspective.
Thank you for sharing this experience from a parents point of view facing an extremely hard situation.
Kari Northey my friends nephew drowned in a sudden, quick and severe storm that arose on a lake. At the service she came to me and said his body was leaking fluid (he was young and heavy set). I assumed this was from the drowning because they could not find his body, even with a life preserver on, right away, how does this happen?
Simply beautiful. I have lost two babies and my surviving child has Down syndrome. This was a wonderful honest conversation. Thank you both for sharing it with others❤️🌹
I too have a absolute beautiful daughter that has down syndrome I adopted her at 12 weeks she's 28 now and still loved tremendously by all of us we r so lucky that she has never had any life threatening illness I'm truly blessed with my little shugie
Blessed be to u and ur baby
I'm a father and the whole comment about "not enough time to be attached" comment really irritates me. I didn't have to carry any of our children internally, obviously, but I fell in love with all three of my girls and my son even before they came into the world. I fell in love with the sound of their heartbeat, their ultrasound pictures, etc. Sometimes people need to realize that you should think before speaking. I'm training to become a funeral director/embalmer and I've found just a simple "I'm hear for you if you need to talk" and leaving it at that is enough.
Bradley, you sound like such a wonderful, loving soul. I know that you will be a blessing to many people. God bless♥️🙏♥️
My only sibling died when I was 34 in a tragic manner and I was devastated. At the funeral parlor a second cousin came up to me and said "I know now why you never married....it will be up to you to take care of your parents now". My M&D were only in their early 60's at the time! And I considered myself a young person who could still be married (and I did get married). I remember thinking "WOW, seriously?"
Kari....see! You're an angel in disguise too! This is why I love watching you!
Thank you both for sharing ❤️ with my cousin and very close friends infant loses, they both said they wanted people to say their child's name. It's something that made a huge difference in how I as a relative and friends went forward. It has been 17yrs and I still speak of their children by their name and share with them when I think of their babies that passed away.
I love how much you truly care about the family of the people you work on its absolutely amazing. 💕
Thank you, Kari, for sharing your story. I was a Labor&Delivery nurse and I have seen how difficult and heartbreaking losing a child can be. I can only imagine your pain. God bless you. Know your daughter is in God's arms.
Thank you!
Brave Mama. Bless you.
A duo of amazing Kari ladies. 💋
I lost my son Austin to Trisomy 18, and that was 23 years ago. I grieved for my son for 17 years. It is extremely hard to go on with life after losing an infant. Regular people who never loose a child can not understand what us who have loose a child to Trisomy 18.
This is so beautiful! Mum has such a beautiful persona! Lovely to have someone like this amazing lady by your side during this sad time x
You are so kind
@@KaritheMortician 🥰
Thank you so much for doing this segment. My nephew & his wife had a triploidy baby. This lady is so courageous to be able to speak of something so dear to her heart.
Thanks for sharing!!
This is especially helpful for me, as I raised no children. I did lose a very wanted baby fifty years ago, the only time I became pregnant so I know time does not heal loss. And I know miscarriages are not the trivial event some seem to believe. But to hear what you and your husband went through tears at my heart.Thank you for baring your heart and helping us understand. To revisit this pain in front of strangers took courage. 💚
WOW! You are such a comforting soul!
Thank you for sharing this touching interview with us. Very eye opening and so candid. I appreciate both of you for sharing this talk with us.
So Very Sorry😢. I lost a little boy at 4 months.😢 “Joseph Edward”😢. 1977. Never forgotten.🙏 Forever Loved❣️
💔 x JoAnne
Apparently, this woman was not made aware that she could take her deceased baby home after its passing. Read what the laws are regarding this subject here ---> www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/home-funeral-laws.html
Again. Late commenting. It’s taken me a very long time to realize that there is nothing another person can say that will ease the pain of loss. So what I say is “I love you. If you need anything at all please call me. But remember most that I love you.” As I’ve lost more loved ones in my life I’ve come to learn that we each have very individual reactions to loss and how we deal with it. Even in a situation where the loss is of the same person loved by the same people the reactions and needs can be totally different. It is most certainly very individualized. What is best for me to hear, I love you! Is what I say to others. I love you. In that I pray that it is what that person needs to hear.
I'm a grandmother of a trisomy 18 baby that didn't make it to delivery. That was 2 year's ago on Mothers day and the parents still greave her. But have a 5 year old daughter. That knows all about her. This video would of really helped them then. Aaron Watson's story helped them a lot. Thank you for sharing .
i’m so thankful to have stumbled across this video. three years ago, my mother gave birth to my beautiful sister kinsley rose, who had trisomy 18, which i had never even heard of. she lived for 4 days and was able to pass at home with all of us around her, and she will always live in my heart forever. i’m so so so thankful that you are talking about this condition that so many people haven’t heard of. thank you.
also, oddly enough, the care that was given to us at that time is what prompted me to go to mortuary school and become a funeral director as well! C/O 2023!
Amazing!!
You are so welcome!
I'm sorry for your loss! God bless you all! I hope your baby rests in peace in Heaven!
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious little love. She lives on with you and through you forever 💖
Thank you!
I almost didn’t watch this (I knew it would make me cry) but so glad I did! We never know how to act or what to say and now I know. Thank you! PS. I really like your channel.
Great interview. So sorry for your loss. My father passed away when I was 5 and my mom did not bring us to the funeral home at all. I am 36 now and would definitely involve my kids if I were in the same situation at my mom. I still feel a huge loss and no closure.
Courtjowhite - I went to my grandma’s funeral (open casket) at age 5, and I was really confused and a bit frightened as to what was going on....it was probably a hard decision for your momma.
@@marys3127 I agree. Seeing my grandmother in her casket when I was 8 and hearing her (grown) daughters' loud grieving traumatized me for literally years. I am pleased that my own parents opted for cremation and that's my own plan, but that doesn't mean I recommend cremation in the loss of a child. Death is hard - there is no avoiding that reality. My trust in Jesus Christ for eternal salvation is my comfort and joy. How unbelievers face death is beyond my understanding.
My children were 3 & 5 when their paternal grands died, full participation. When my dad died they were 10 & 8, they struggled with greater understanding. The following year my brother died, because we never hid reality from them, they both helped with emotionally supporting me, and mourning his loss fully. At my moms funeral (Catholic) they took the gifts to the altar, while their much older cousins were pall bearers. Death is part of life, shielding from reality is simply delaying, it is another skill everyone must learn, and we owe our children.
I was going to make hats for the NICU but one of the nurse practitioners I work with said to instead make preemie burial clothes and burial shrouds (angel wraps). It's so needed! Much more than hats!
Yes definitely needed!
Thank you so much Kari and Kari I've learned so much through your experience and thank you for sharing such difficult time in your life with us to help us become better at our future careers. I thank you for your transparency and bringing to light the feelings and sometimes the things that may have been said or done in love that offended you. I will definitely keep these things in mind. Thank you
Thank you so much for doing this !
Thank you for sharing your story.
THIS WAS VERY INTERESTING TO HEAR. SHE A VERY STRONG MOTHER FOR HELPING OTHERS WITH THERE LOSES. GOD BLESS HER.
Thank you
Thank you for taking the time to share this video others probably share the same grief abour their child..myself I had to abort a child very early in my pegnancy I still grieved even though it was a embyo .The emptiness you feel hardest thing to go through..Im so sorry this happened to you .Just know you will see her again god will her waiting...
This was a very well done video It did make me cry but There was just one thing I want to say. Nobody should be judged by anyone by how long the grieving process takes that is individual to each couple and nobody has the rite to comment on it.
A very moving video. Thanks to both of you for sharing this most difficult part off your life. An eye opening experience indeed.
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing what at times is such a lonely time .
This video was very hard to watch, shed tears and cried, I hope time heals your pain, beautiful mum and dad and very lovely funeral director. Finding your new normal I like that , big hugs 👍
For the first three and half years during my internship as an assistant funeral director and embalmer, I had worked more than my share of infant, child and teen deaths in the funeral home setting. Not one time did it ever get easy to do these types of services. I don't believe there was never a time I didn't break down and cry with the family. One in particular that I remember so well was in 1988. We had a thirteen-year-old female who succumbed to her disease Cerebral palsy. The young child had major limb atrophy. I really didn't know at first how I was going to prepare her small body for viewing at this point. The family had brought some of her recent photo's just days before her death. It wasn't until a few hours after the family left the funeral home before I came to an idea of viewing preparation. I just simply laid her on her right and put her baby doll that the family wanted to be in the casket with her and placed the doll in between her arm as to her hugging the baby. I was so worried that the family may have some hate toward me after, but as I seen fit, I left her as I did. When the family came to see her during the visitation it was like you could hear a pin drop fall. Just a few moments later, the mother turned around and just hugged me with the strongest embraced ever. She then looked at me and said thank you so much for not changing the way I remember her life. I remember I just broke down and sobbed with her and her husband. They were so pleased with the services that they wrote a complete story about the special services we provided for them. This shows that grieving families need people like us to make unusual decisions for them. Hope this story helps other embalmers and funeral directors the same. Sincerely! Dankous Warman.
Thank you for sharing
Who the crap would say you are young enough to have another one! Insensitive. I guess I understand never to say that as I can’t have children. I will NEVER know the pain that you have gone through Kari however I feel huge loss because of my situation.
Also I wore doll clothes when I was a baby I was preemie. I weighed 3lb 10 oz❤️ ty for sharing Kylie with us
No parent should have to suffer this pain. But you really helped them. You are blessed.
Thank you
thank you for your interview you're interview will help others who have experience the same thing I don't think I can do it if it were me 😢😢 Kari you're an amazing funeral director that you do this for families
My cousin carried her baby gave birth and held her baby as they breathed their last breath he lived for 45 minutes
Kari is so brave to tell her story God bless her 💕
Kari, I just want to thank you so much for making these vids. I had know clue about some of the options we have. Also, it really speaks in volume what type of person you are, considering this lady is friends with you now. I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you. I pray the next time I need these type services, that I'll have someone like you, be helpful, compassionate and as understanding as you seem to be. Ok, ttyl gotta get back to your vids! Lol..Im on #6. I have a long way to go.
great video. I’m so sorry for your loss. I worked with a nurse who was an amazing person and she was named Kari spelled the same way.
Thank you for sharing. God bless you both!
Thank you for this my granddaughter.Sofhie died at 7 weeks.I pettymuch had to do her funeral and im still trying to get over it.
My granddaughter, Sophia, died at one month....my daughter was a basket case, even suicidal...hardest experience in my life too....Since then, 4 years ago, my daughter will not return to the church or visit the grave...I take care of it. 💔🙏
I lost a niece at 16 days old. Absolutely the hardest time for our family. To see that little baby in a casket. So sweet, so small, so soon. 😢
I feel like every hospital should have a cooling baby cot so that the babies can stay preserved longer and be able to be with momma and daddy longer❤️
I wish this was more present. Alot of mothers dont even know it's an option. Of course it's not for everyone but I think if more mothers and family knew about this they would want this option!
YES! I’ve really wanted to do some fundraising so each of our local hospitals have Cuddle Cots. Either through Go Fund Me or have people sponsor me in a race (I’m a runner). This needs to happen! 😊 Maybe for next year as A LOT of races are being forced either schedules because of COVID-19.
@@aviatrix91 Um,wake up they know wth no heart beat the person is deceased. I have lost a child 4 1/2 months I wouldn't recommend it.
@@janethughes3797 So it’s not an option for you. Don’t speak for every mom who’s lost a baby who would give anything to spend more with their deceased baby. I am very sorry for your loss. A Cuddle Cot is used in Labor and Delivery, and generally not for use by the general funeral industry.
@@aviatrix91 I HAVE LOST A BABY, SHE WAS 4 1/2. I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO KEEP UR CHILD COLD SO 50 DIFFERENT FRIENDS CAN COME IN AND HOLD THE BABY, NO I WOULDN'T CHOOSE NOTHING LIKE THAT, IT'S NOT FOR ME, AND I'M N SOME CASES I THINK IT'S HARDER ON THE MOM. I'VE HAD TWO FRIENDS THAT USED THEM, ONE OF SAID SHE JUST COULDN'T DO IT 30 MIN AFTER THE BABY WAS LAID IN HERS,
MY PTHER FRIEND USED IT BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WAS ON A TRIP 14HRS AWAY JUST SO HE COULD SEE WHT HIS SON LOOKED LIKE AT THE TIME OF HIS BIRTH,BEFORE THE BODY STARTED IT'S PROCESS OF DECAYING, THAT'S MY STORY, AND MY OPINION ON IT. I KNOW OTHER WOMEN USE THEM,IF THAT HELPS THEM GREAT. BUT I FIND THEM KIND OF MORBID.
My sister had a baby daughter that was born with Trisomy 18 - 40 years ago. It was very rare. She lived a month and died at home. It was very sad.
When I lost my son at two years of age I thought it was going to kill me. I demanded that I get to hold my son before they took him to donate his organs so someone else could live. It was the last time I would hold my sons warm body. The hospital almost didn't let me but the transplant team insisted I have that last moment with my son. The funeral home was awesome. Childrens caskets didn't have the seals at the time and I was so scared bug's and other critters would get in. They made a seal for both the casket and the vault to ease my pain and made sure to show those seals to me before his burial. I now am better educated on things but It did ease some of the pain for me. Mama Kari please accept my thanks for your courage in speaking. Kari thank you for being such a caring and compassionate funeral director. I have learnt so much from you and from another channel here on youtube.
I can not imagine! THank you for sharing your story!!
Hi Keri, so saddened for your loss. We are sending love to you and your family
Thank you!
Man, I have my 20 week scan next week and hearing her story just made me sob. I’ve had two miscarriages so I somewhat understand her pain. What a sweet time between believing friends and I appreciate the sharing of info. Heaven is such a beautiful promise even in the midst of great sadness. ❤️
Lydia M good luck !!
Mom- We are sad you went through this experience. - Our prayers are with you & family. We Thank you for participating with Kari in our education. Kari, you are so compassionate & gentle. I Personally like that. Thank you for sharing & for your time.
Thank you Kari, this is so eye opening and so important to all of our loved ones to make sure they are respected in death. You make the difference. ❤️
God bless this family❤️
I am so impressed with this one. Such a beautiful way of communicating and such a blessing to other families in this situation and past this situation. Thank you for this.
Thank you!
We had powder blue hurse and my ex carried casket from the car to graveside. I waited until the service was over n everyone left to watch the guys in muddy jumpsuits use ropes to lower the casket. Ty for sharing your story.
My heart goes out to you! Im a loss mom too
Im in Northern Ireland and the funeral directors do a good job in assisting families who have lost a child. The council also provide the death certificate for free and the opening of the grave fee is waived. My brother lost a child and the funeral directors service's including the coffin were provided for free. I asked the funeral director how could they do this and he said they all did it as an act of compassion. If i remeber correctly he said they did this for kids aged up to 12. He also said that it didnt harm business as families appreciate what they do and would always give them repeat business when other relatives passed on. That is true as we always use that same funeral director.
I loss my my my mom unexpectedly, 8 days after losing my uncle, her brother on father's day in "17" and this interview makes feel not so alone.
I am so sorry for your heartbreak :(
Thank you for being so kind to this woman and many other women please keep letting people do what they want or need to help them have closer
A very heartwrenching video, but so needed! Thank you for sharing your story! ❤❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏
Beautiful interview. Thank you for sharing. Can't imagine the pain.
Thank you!
Thank You Kari, actually cares invested in the profession not as a trend!
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful little Kylie’s story with us. You are a Pillar of Strength and may God continue to bless you and your family💕💙
:)
Kari Northey Kari!! Thank you SO much for replying! I am a huge fan and I want you to know you are an absolute Angel!! You do amazing work for families to ease their pain. You have such a gift, thank you for sharing!!
Omg😭😭😭😭 I'm in tears listening to your story. She's your guardian angel
This was a very touching interview
Ma'am, if u ever read this I want u to know that I'm truly sorry for u and your husband's loss. This lady still looks so sad.
It was a very hard thing to go through, we think about Kylie all the time. We are ok and have a wonderful life. I appreciate yoir comment and Thank you for watching our story. She was a beautiful gift from God.