Living with Bipolar & Schizophrenia Disorder
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- Опубликовано: 25 июл 2016
- Chris McMurray is a poet and a rapper. Words are his thing. At nine he lost his father to a fatal heart attack… and he went down a disruptive path of drug use. After which he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and Bipolar disorders.
Now at the age of twenty-two Chris uses his art to express what it’s like living with mental illness and is looking to the future.
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I was so sad about the interaction he had with his grandparents. Chris, it's not your fault. You acted maturely and should be proud of how you handled that. Wish you the best, man. Life with mental illness is not easy.
The diagnosis is actually called schizoaffective disorder, it’s a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder. I was correctly diagnosed after 20 years of treatment.
You don’t have delusions and hallucinations, right? Do you take medication which causes to gain weight, if no , what do you take? Do you want to live now? Do you have magical thinking , like ocd rituals? What has helped with rituals? I started lamictal now and trittico Thank you
My husband has the same thing
And sometimes schizoaffective is a misdiagnosis for autism esp. if mostly paranoid and delusions is core to schizophrenia.
But drugs will cause anything and I have difficukt time having empathy for drug-induced psychosis though I suppose some consideration due to trauma.
Here here!!! I'm a that, too xox hope u are well!! ❤
I absolutely love Chris. I lost little brother to mental illness. chris is a blessing to this world.
It's sad that his grandparents aren't happy to hear from him.
Shame on the grandparents. That's not how grandparents are suppose to act.
So sad that the grandparents seem to be only thinking about themselves. Perhaps they have problems too, but he is their grandson for Gods sake!
@@sandy-ee1kt there human it's in there dna to only think about themselves
@@princessaz79 only a mother loves in this world with a child and nobody else....they should tell about the permanent treatment as well...
"Life is just a dream, lucky you, lucky, lucky me."
I feel bad for Chris. His path is similar to mine. I came out less wounded.
Pray and be kind to all.
as someone who suffers with depression this has helped a lot
Good to hear Kevin! Hope your living a happy and healthy life now!
I hope you’re doing better Kevin!
@@AttitudeLive please give more videos ...really good video...
Nice to see loving documentaries about all disabilities, but this one hits very close to home. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II.
Thanks for sharing your story and we hope this was of value to you. I was diagnosed Bipolar a number of years ago so this one hit home as well, you may also enjoy this documentary: ruclips.net/video/6x0ZiFbpju0/видео.html
Breaks my heart to hear the conversation with Chris and his grandmother. Maybe she has her own problems, but she didn’t even pay him the courtesy of saying that. So hurtful. Chris’ final poem was beautiful. I’m sure your dad would have been proud of you too, Chris.
Chris I don't know if you will ever see this but thank you for your courage and for sharing your story and poetry with me. I wish you all the best, hug your mum fot me she clearly loves her boy, I am also blessed with a loving ma who helps me in my struggles with schizophrenia and borderline. You really gave me a lot of hope by sharing this thanks so much.
My X husband who was an educator PhD level had these Illnesses, it was devastating.
He has a lot of talent. Grandparents r missing out not knowing him...
As someone who has messed up my own life with drugs by causing myself terminal health issues due to drug use...I can really relate to Chris and his living with consequences of choices he made. Sometimes taking "the easy way out to handle temporary pain causes more long term suffering" because, also like him - I too had went through painful experiences during teen years and used drugs to cope. Sadly...we eventually STILL have to go back and deal with all that past stuff anyway that we were trying to avoid...only now we have double issues as we deal with past and the new issues caused by the drugs also. The if only's, what if's....I wish I'd's, etc. are my biggest challenges I face daily. I admire Chris' courage as he not only faces the past but also presses on toward his dreams of the future. Like Chris, I have only a step dad...and a sick mom. No other family wants anything to do with me. He's also quite blessed to have the support of friends. Being physically ill and mostly in bed or in hospitals unfortunately keeps me from any outside support of that nature.So I say...Go Go Chris....On & Upward! Let Nothing Hold You Back!!! I'm rooting for you from my hospital bed in the Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland Ohio!!!!!
Thank you for sharing your story Shelly, we hope your living a happy life now - we wish you the very best! Attitude
I am going through what ifs and only if I hads. It's not fun.
heart breaking about the grandparents, Maybe it upsets then to have reminders of their son, but so harsh. My dad died when I was 4 and I was never very curious. Maybe the age, 9 must be a very hard age to lose a parent\\
What an amazing guy. His grandparents are the ones missing out. What a shame. I love that he can take his pain and put into something amazing (His poems and rapping).
my son has the same story as Chris...I wish he could do the same to keep trying to fight thru this.
You are doing an Awesome job Chris.... I will have my son watch your video... it touched me and I can relate to some of it myself.
Keep doing what your doing and know you are an inspiration.
This was so beautiful
Also Bipolar (type II), medication resistant. At this point have been through all antidepressants & mood stabilizers, none worked. Did a year of ECT which was very very difficult, had some positive effect, not complete & would never do it again, but a bit helpful. Right now on Ativan for anxiety which actually has been the most helpful. The problem with a lot of mental illnesses is people can be resistant to medications normally prescribed for that illness. Don't give up hope an adjacent med class might help.
@10-OSwords Have you tried Omega 3 capsules?
You the man Chris 👍👍👊
All the best for the future
I had paranoia schizophrenia I'm 57 years old and I've been fighting this disease since I was 28 years old this video gives good insight to help others see what we're going through I take my meds everyday although I still hear voices and see demons and they talked to me and derogatory terms I have those watching will listen and be empathetic tour those with mental illnesses
Terry Abate try Church and the healing power of Jesus Christ. He broke Satan and his demons. He can heal you too. 🙏
@@JesusSaves77799 yea they can try chruch and read bible but medications are important in low dosage
Meficines are important as well with spiritual healing
...
Listen to Quran which you will find it on RUclips just write “Quran for depression and Anxiety” and all the voices in your head will stop as God will help you. Also get the Quran book translated in English it will help you a lot. Good luck brother.✌️❤️
Yeah... Your dad will be proud of you. Don't think of the wasted years... Think of the future opportunities. The opportunities you are on track to achieve because you are willing to change. It's never too late mate... Remember that. 👍
I hope you do another video about how you are doing seven years later. My ancestral line is riddled with mental illness, it's a hard road. We are unique in a way because our affliction gives us insight into the World that others never will have. Though we enrich the World with our uniqueness and the gifts that we have to offer we are deep thinkers and artists, musicians writers and actors. Comedians and scientists. The World would be a boring place without us.
Peace to you friend from another thinker in the USA ❤
Creativity I'd say is the only good thing with bipolar. Especially when you have bpd with it, the intense endless ups and downs mixed with the fear of abandonment, help me write my short stories/poetry.
Thanks for watching Todd, hope you enjoyed!
I also write short stories/poetry from anxiety, depression, sadness and my Schizophrenia.
Thank You Chris for sharing your story!!
well, I am a big fan of poet and artist Chris McMurray from now on. he is one of the nicest things about life.
I know what it’s like to not feel like you have any family. I have no blood family and no real friends. The best friend I have is my dog.
I am currently the same my friend 💔 I hope your life has brightened up ❤
Schizophrenia means the Sadness of Life. Very sad to know this. It is very serious . I am also suffering from it. But he has another serious problem like Bipolar. Full support for him.
What a beautiful heart u have n supportive mum
Beautiful poetry.....I would love to hear or read more.
Thanks Karen!
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
Thank you Chris for your story I too suffer from bipolar 1 butt more important my son suffers with schzoifaffective disorder I wish I could talk and find some. Peace for I worry about my son we are apart I sent him to California and I don't no if that was a mistake or not hope sometime I could get him to listen to his story
I deal with schizophrenia and manic bipolar this helped out me a lot
I have both. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 17 and bipolar disorder at 23
❤❤❤You are one very smart and strong young man. My heart broke for you when your grandma cut you off 🥲🥲 I know that I would be so happy to hear from my grand son! I will be your American Grandma. 💜🤗
Such a kind and beautiful comment. Soothing my worries.
I don't have a mental disorder my dad does it sad cause he having bad episodes tonight he thinks he talks to the whole world from our apartment we have to sit there and listen I wish it was easy to talk to his doctor and get help but it's not he would be mad if he found out we told his doctor what's going on he checks for people out side our apartment door and even think God is gonna give him money I pray everyday that I live in a better situation me my brother and mom and my dad gets the help he needs this hit kinda home I feel for the the people going though this with family or themselves god bless everyone
I do know how you feel, my daughter has schizophrenia, and she is anastignostic. She lives with us, her mom (me) and her dad. She needs medication but refuses all help, will not seek medical help. It's hell living with her, she's mean and will not pitch in with chores. She won't allow us to watch tv in our own home. We are going to have to evict her, we just want our lives back. This disease is so hard on me, she's fine, she has no clue the hurt she is causing. There's no help out there, I go to NAMI meetings, but it's hopeless. Good luck to ya girl
he's handsome. another friend here to support you Chris.
Chris you are so brave and strong may your road lead you to the happiness you are searching for....
I'm crying watching this video 😢
Good on you Chris. I'm adopted so blood wasnt thicker than water for me. My friends are my family. With your grandparents, their loss and your gain, you dont want to know them. Not worth anyone's time or trouble.
Chris my prayers to u and all the people that have mental illness its a strugle im sure but with medication intense therapy faith hope and god u can live ur life prayers to all
My heart goes out to you,😥🙏💝
Ah mate, you’re doing awesome, keep your head up lad. I’ve suffered similar issues but things do get better mate and there’s good alternatives to ilansapine that have fewer side effects
I have schizoaffective (bipolar + schizophrenia) from stress, trauma, and genetics. I'm also disabled with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
So sad and heartbroken watching this.
I dont understand grandparents that dont want to know their own grandkids because they dont get along with their kid or their kids partner. My grandmother was like that. Head up Chris, never give up brother, thank you for telling your story ❤
Chris you are very brave to make this video
I would be interested to have a follow up to Chris. Despite everyhing including all the horrible times he had been through, he seemed to be doing well and following a positve direction.
This video is very inspiring, The best thing to do my people add value and give more love and comfort to them, That's what I do, music is key music is life..... remember my people blood don't make you be family, blood make you be relative, The one's who show loyalty to you in your ups and downs is family, family don't turn there back on you
Millions of people have schizophrenia around the world
@Attitude SUBSCRIBED!
My father was his mood would change with the wind he was very abusive to me and my sister she got to stop going over on the weekend, but I had a different mother and she made me go even though she knew how he was that’s why she left him. I’ve seen my mothers face covered in blood a gun held to my head that was loaded he only stopped hurting me when I was big enough to fight back, I had to stab and break is arm with a bat he wouldn’t stop till that happened. I feel sorry for anyone going though this.
Damn that's sad. I wonder how that makes you feel. For me I trust none more than my parents and siblings... It's sad to know a viewpoint like yours because it makes me feel bad for the loving family I have while many don't. Anyway everything isn't perfect... Not even with me and some people have it worse than others but as they say... What doesn't kill you _only makes you stronger._
If you are reading this Chris then remember that all your dear ones would always want the best for you and it's the same case with your dad mate... If he could tell you that then he would and I am sure that you'd wish the same for the people you love.
Hi can you share what medications you take that keeps you stable.
This video made me so sad my dad has schizophrenia and he also got it from misuse of drugs i always find myself trying to find answers. Love this guys attitude towards it.
Thanks for watching Kaz, hope you enjoyed!
"I'm a student so I got my noodles" 🤙
Friends are the family you choose mate. And they are waaaaaaaaaay better because all family members don't care about you. Infact they'll act so but will try their best to pull you down behind your back.
my god the rent is so high. You could rent a room in US for $150/month. I can't tell when my problems started. I only know now that it has been classified as bipolar with mania and psychotic features. It's very sad. People don't understand me, and I can't make sense out of reality many times. I get these 3 week to 8 /12 week periods of going off the wall. I have had no meds because never diagnosed. I have meds now, but I'm scared to take them.
robert Howard you can rent a bed in my town for $500 a month. That is a bed in a room w another person. $800 to $1000 to rent a room in a house.
Remembering that the NZ dollar is worth less than the US though. So it would be about $100 US per week. But yes, NZ living costs are generally more expensive than US.
good guy
Anybody know where one can find poetry or music by Chris?
He's the spitting image of his dad.
Schizophrenia here. How is Chris doing these days?
Sorry for my bad English. My family story is very sad. My dad developed mental illness after he had been under huge stress in army at the age of 20. I don't know much as he didn't live with us and I only heard from mum years later when I grew up. The illness developed in such a devastating way or there was no proper treatment that time, so he committed suicide in 1997... Most probably, that was schizophrenia, but I cannot know for sure. I also have quite severe mental condition and am still looking for the way how to express myself. I feel worthless and empty and scared most of the time. Cannot stop thinking about my dad ...
All your loved ones will wish the best for you just like your dad would for you and you would for all those dear to you... 😊
This is scary and how similar my story went to. Dad was in prison because someone tried to stab him to death, my dad was special forces and a medic in Vietnam and tended to the attackers wounds after he incapacitated his attacker and still was arrested for attempted murder. He got ten years and out in 2.
Then, a few years later, 2 months after my 11th birthday, he died of a major heart attack. My mom got a boyfriend who was a good guy until he started beating and torturing me. At 16, he hit me in the face and elbowed my mom on the back swing. I lost it. I broke his foot, shattered his knee and wrist, and threw him off an 8-foot set of stairs onto solid concrete. After that, I was never the same; I got hooked on oxycontin till I was 25, and I've been sober since.
At 28, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia/schitzoeffective disorder, and it hasn't been easy, and I never asked for this curse. Everyone avoids and acts weird around me, it sucks.
Be blessed love you
I think you are a great person. Maybe Church and a connection to God as Our Father could help you as well? I’m sorry about your grandmother. She sounds like a heartless person. I pray that Jesus will soften her heart and show her the error of her ways and that He will protect you and heal you and bless you and your sweet mother as well. Maybe you can move home to be closer to your mom too and have support? There’s nothing wrong with that. In many other cultures families all live together. In one of your poems you say, “I’m just another medical patient facing Satan.” You are so much more than that. You are a kind, sensitive, handsome, thoughtful man. Satan wants you to think that’s all you are. Jesus can break those chains. Any woman would be lucky to have someone kind like you in her life. Focus on what you have. On your mother too. Maybe get a higher paying job in Construction or something. And put your dad’s parents behind you. Keep your dad in your heart and move on towards your future with your mom and other good people! God Bless You!!! I will pray for a wonderful life for you! 🙏💖
I wish I could tell whats real and not sometimes. It's not all the time, it comes and goes. I'm glad i'm not alone, but at the same time, I am 100% certain I am being conspired against, setup to take the fall for something, and "They" are coming after me to completely 100% destroy my life, and I can't get passed the thoughts for weeks or even months on end. It's like living in a complete hell hole prison of thoughts and voices and not being able to function. But, i have to get tot he point of settling down, and then realizing that the thoughts and voices don't make sense and hope to God none of it's is true, and then I feel like I kind of live past the episode, and usually after about 6 months or so it goes away, but not completely
robert Howard I will pray for you to Jesus Christ that He May cleanse you of this suffering. He can do it!! Maybe a good Church can help you as well!! 🙏
@@JesusSaves77799 Are you suffered from sczophernia?
My boyfriend is the same he's now in hospital mental by diagnosed bipolar and lives in 2 realities he says still...
@@soulfly5825 I feel like that too. Sometimes, I can't understand any given social situation/interaction. I also "Show" the outside world what they want to see, while inside is different. It's not to fake anyone, it's just that most people couldn't handle it.
It's a pity his grandmother didn't accept to meet with him. I think it would have helped to closure with his dad death. Some people are very coldhearted .I pray that God would heal him and he can live a normal life 🙏.
practice mindfulness meditation it helps to manage or some times even cure different mental illnesses.
video says his dad died of a seizure but the description says fatal heart attack...
He had a seizure then a heart attack I think
Alcohol, meat, tobacco and junk food are worst drugs
This guy is a sick rapper.
Lol that conversation with his grandmother was so awkward.
I do think it has started when I was a child my mom left me and my sisters and brother and we only had our dad there and than my dad got remarried and I was the problem child growing up no one has these symptoms I was in and out of mental hospitals ever since I was 12 years of age than I moved out on my own at 18 years old I got pregnant at 19 and had a baby boy at 20 years old and I got married at 24 years old and this story is very touching and helps me to understand how it starts
Well done you should be so proud of yourself. My son has the same condition. Your beautiful. And you be so proud of yourself. Keep on going your rapping is the best. I wish you very well and kindness also happiness. Keep on going and yes certainly your dad would of certainly been proud of you. :) you made me smile as your very strong. All the best to you and that's from my heart too. 😘
Isn't this schizoaffective disorder? one criteria for schizophrenia is you can't have a mood disorder as well. That's the main reason my psych is looking at schizoaffective because i have bipolar nos with severe psychosis
yes, I believe so. It can be with depression or mania, not always bi polar. Laura Nutall has Schizoaffective with depression and PTSD, She has a channel and is now a psych nurse and writing a book. She is very educated about it and still has episodes. She doesn't post too much, but she has some interesting videos
$600 per month is a lot for a shared hostel situation!
It is, but it would be about $420 US. Still too much though. This video is a few years old, it would be more expensive now.
Ugh, his grandmother is terrible! He doesn't need a frigid, bitchy woman like that in his life anyway. What kind of woman turns away her own grandchild! He was a child when his father passed, whatever reason they lost contact isn't his fault. It's her loss really because he seems like a really kind, gentle, loving person. And who knows, maybe his dad didn't like her either!
I have these symptoms it's hard for I am 26 years old my name is Felicia I hear voices all the time and I get very angry and sad and feel like shit most the time I have a bf but I always thinks he is cheating on me all the time so I start to hear voices telling me that I should do something about it and I start to freak out on him and sometimes I hear them say I should kill myself but I don't do it and i am afraid to loose him and I quit taking my meds after I lost the most important things in my life
Turn to jesus christ he has power over these dark entities
Beloved of Jesus Christ Life is in the Blood Amen!
@@belovedofjesuschristlifeis6275 can you tell please, Is it possible to live without medications?
I am 17 and for 2 years i don't sleep at all!!I am lucky😁😁
What is diagnosis if my reality is changed? I am seeing other reality other shops other buildings with other shop names in real world there do not have day light for cars, but here is other reality with day light for cars and graffiti. In real world there is no graffiti and day light for cars I am from other reality after 2011 May I change realities.
Waoo it's exactly same what my boyfriend said and he's now in a hospital mental since 2 weeks and he was also saying that he lives in two realities and he's diagnosed bipolar disorder and still in psychosis but for him are real too
Got diagnosed with this when I was 14 man tried all different medications to treat this think I’m gonna just start embracing because if I keep using this medication I’m just gonna be really fat and lazy gotta be another way my medicine is $1500 a shot without insurance like fuck that and then maybe I think maybe just maybe my family was lying all along and I’m really just one of the chosen ones from God’s eyes I had these issues for years just learned to cope with it better the drugs kinda helps but really makes you lose all creativity there’s gotta be a different ways
Keto diet please will help you with schizophrenia and bipolar with intermittent fasting for 20hours you will be in remision without medication
It doesn't seem fair for you to be diagnosed while dealing with grief
if he needs a pen pal I'm here..I'm being serious...
Thanks for the kind words Cheryl! we hope you enjoyed the episode!
Damn... I wonder why his grandparent did that?
Chris I think the reason why you did drugs was to try to self medicate yourself
Poor thing what crappy grandparents!!
Chris........du bist o.k. so wie Du bist !!.....Dein Vater war ein hübscher ,sensibler,introvertierter,kreativer Mensch. Nicht leicht in dieser Welt .............du siehst ihm sehr ähnlich 🙂, das heißt aber nicht ,dass DU seinen Weg gehen mußt.!!.....Leb deine Kreativität weiter aus ,make Music ,write poetry ,....and no Drugs 👍 you are a braveheart 🤍
he is demonized and the demons feed on his proclamations. aka rapping
Do you not have a girlfriend to help you and be with you wen it gets tough if not I would be your girlfriend I live in the uk though 🌈❤️
You look old enough to be his 👵.