@@lullemans72 They definitely have more control over it, because they kind of have to as a therapist. Otherwise it could result in complete chaos, because BPD rage isn't like normal anger. For me personally, it can range from childlike rage to feeling like a complete sociopath that says some cold hearted shit I wouldn't normally say. Apparently from the perspective of my friends who have seen me at max rage, it's like I'm a completely different person and sometimes my pupils grow to the point that my whole iris turns pitch black. My point is that it wouldn't be the best idea for someone with BPD to have a therapist that doesn't have their BPD in check yet.
@@tegridyprimeotherwise around, if the therapist is skilled/controlled(I hope you know what I mean)in his own behavior it’s the perfect therapist for another bpd patient, because he knows what you mean
Its actually sad watching his life play out in real time because it mirrored mine for awhile (hopping from partner to partner, leaving good partners to chase emotionally unavailable ones). Then theres the rumors of the drugs and impulsivity....Hollywood is probably the worst place for him to be right now.
II was diagnosed at 18 with bpd. I am 43 now. I wasn’t brave enough to come out or to unmask until Pete came out. He is so damn brave. He helped me not to hide anymore. I have been embracing and learning about myself now. I always hid and ignored until then.
This is the first person in the psychology world that I’ve seen have BPD and it’s really motivating as I too have BPD and am studying to be a psychologist. One of my ex’s would always blurt this thing out in an argument that I honestly always feared so it triggers me. But he’d always say “You’re studying psychology and are more unstable than anyone you’d try to help”
Hopefully you will become an exceptionally insightful and compassionate therapist. I have traits of BPD and work with traumatised children. It's a lifelong learning process. Abandoment and emotional deprivation really do a number on us. The anger/rage that BPD are so famous for can be transformed into energy for courage, compassion, insight and transformation.
And he was an immature s*** to love someone You don't have to like a flaw in another but you don't use it against them. Or try to stunt someone's growth or healing to control or project for themselves. You keep growing Your going to help alot of people
Medication can be a crutch that helps some symptoms, or (You might want to check with your doctor) you could also have depression along with it. If you're not in therapy for it though I highly suggest you try it out. Since it's a personality disorder you can retrain your thought process, which helps soooo much. I used to feel in mental agony (Sadness wise) 24/7 and now it's half of that. Still working on it 😅💜💜💜
Its not necessarily treatment as much as it is a crutch for daily living seen as bpd cant be cured, medications dont treat bpd and are typically given to help deal with other conditions and occasionally they can help some people with additional symptoms, the fact youve not been offered dbt etc is actually mindblowing to me, it is the main thing for borderline management
Everything about this video is wonderful. Sufferers make the best therapists because they have enormous empathy and they truly know how it feels. I have EUPD and I feel heard. Thank you both. X
Thank you Pete Davidson. I was diagnosed with BPD at 22 but never learned about it from ANY of my 20 therapists over the next 30 years. I randomly found a book called I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me and the title intrigued me so I bought it. Absolutely BLEW MY MIND. This book was so eye-opening. I’m almost 60 now and the past 4yrs (since I first read the book) have been so extremely different from my past that it genuinely makes me cry sometimes.
I'm so glad you found that book, changed my outlook as well. Just knowing what the hell was actually wrong made so much difference because then I could work to fix it
My best description for it is this. Its this overwhelming sensation that everything and everyone around you is going to either leave, die, or never be seen again. Ive hit a point with relationships where i became numb to the idea of someone leaving. Its creating comfort in being alone while the inside of your head feels like its going to explode. The *snap* someone talks and you come crahsing down to earth. Maybe just maybe this is hell. 😅
Remember there's a reason for what you go through and you can find it. It's in the past. You've gotta be able to be harsh on your parents/childhood environment. Only recently when I went all floodgates open at my family, saying everything I always wanted and admitted I have stuck up hatred inside me, it really helped. Basically I disowned them. So much pain was eradicated. See, you might be in a block between people pleasing behavioral pattern and (covert) narcissistic abuse, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Such it was for me. So you poison yourself with the hatred that should be blasted against the other covertly abusive, dismissive, irresponsible people, because you protect them with your 'people pleaser' programming. Yes that is hell, between two walls of fire. Only one way out. See that your 'nice and okay' family might not be that okay and that you have the birthright to break out of suffering, NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS. Theu should help you if they were healthy. But this is what Faith is good for. When you know you're redeemed and your own essence is immortal Spirit, you can finally step out of that loop of social slavery. Fuck them. You are the most important thing, you need Light, Love and Spirit, not lousy, selfish and unaware people who are addicted to smothering eachother. They don't know God, that's why they feed on eachother. I love you, I want you to be free, I back you up, fucking know that far away somewhere there is someone fierce who backs you up. Go ahead and screencap this comment and show it to some asshole if you ever need to. I love and support you. Be VERY critical, things are not like you learned to see them. Look into 'covert narcissism' and see if you find clues there. Be well, blessings🙏❤️
I haven't been diagnosed with BPD, but my emotional dysregulation due to my ADHD matches all of these symptoms. In fact, one doctor once suggested I might have EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), but no one else I saw affirmed that hypothesis. I wish knowing what was wrong would make it easy to cut it out of us, but unfortunately...
I also have ADHD. There is some overlap when it comes to emotional deregulation and rejection sensitivity. From my understanding, the emotional meltdown from any fear of abandonment is more severe.
@@zacharycadman8226 to me there can't be such a thing as overlap when trauma is the better explsnation for all of it. Speaking of Gabor Mate, he introduces the notion, in regards to adhd, that we learn from a young age to let our minds wander in the face of abuse or adverse experiences growing up, i.e. We want to escape, but can't so we dissociate and tolerate at a distanxe what happens around us. It's no surprise distractions from within well up as soon as we need to focus out attention on something less stimulating, if those emotions have been supressed. There may be some anxiety coming from a feeling of inadequacy in regards to oneself and one's performance as well if such situations have been met with disdain growing up. And so on and so on.
The overlap and co morbidity is very real. As there is no medication that treat BPD specifically, i think that we (ADHD peeps) can look at a lot of the therapy tools like DBT skills to help regulate our emotions.
I was recently diagnosed myself Pete and seeing that you have it and are able to overcome it and still crack me up in all your films and skits it’s really gives me hope
Thank you for opening up about BPD. My 1/2 sister has this dx and the shame aspect really is problematic. It helps when public figures talk about it. Thank you so much.
gotta be honest, i HATED dbt when i started it, but it really did help. it just seemed like a bunch of obvious stuff, but it turns out just because i knew the concepts, i didn't know how to apply them to myself. bpd is sorta lile you're an adult with adult feelings and trauma, but you have the emotional skills of a child or teenager because of something happened to stunt it.
I really liked Pete before, i always thought he was naturally funny, but once he opened up about having BPD (we were even both diagnosed in 2017) i felt a more personal connection to him and he has a permanent fan in me for this. Even when his behavior looks extremely familiar and stresses me out 😅🤣
How long does someone with BPD that is dedicated to healing have to be in DBT and therapy? What type of professional should treat them and do you recommend a certain modality of therapy in conjunction with the DBT? Also, after doing a year of DBT, how often would you recommend practicing the skills so they can become easily accessible when in crisis? What topics does the therapy cover aside from the abandonment wound? If you have a loved one who meets criteria, what is the most gentle way to help steer them in the right direction? The person I know has done 1 year of DBT and 5 years of therapy, but was diagnosed with ptsd and major depression. I think the therapist may suspect bpd since they sent them to DBT but I’m not sure. The individual has already done a lot of amazing work, but still struggles with dissociation in a crisis, the text bombing and not recognizing they are overstepping boundaries and participating in emotional manipulation. They want to heal and are dedicated, but don’t yet recognize how much they are still hurting others, even though the episodes are less frequent now. They can’t quite grasp the other persons experience until after their events and it takes a lot of emotional communication afterward for them to finally accept the other persons experience. In relationships it’s hard to know how long to hold on to someone with bpd that you love because you don’t know how long it will take them to heal and how much their cycles will hurt you in the interim. Any info you can give that maps out typical treatment and timeline would be so appreciated as well as recommend boundaries for crisis moments and to stop the text bombing and forced conversations in the middle of the night to solve a problem that wasn’t a real problem but a perceived problem. This person is such a wonderful person, but the behaviors can be so draining that it risks a forced abandonment in the end. It’s heartbreaking. Also, I’ve heard that people with untreated bpd cannot love and attach the healthy authentic way and it’s actually an object love…I would like to hear your opinion on that and at what point in their healing process someone with bpd could feel and give real love. Is it possible to stay in relationship if they’re advanced in their healing process or best to not engage until they are finished? How do you know they are healed?
The more you understand this disorder the more successful. You will be in turning your life around and being in control of your body and your mind and your emotions. I was diagnosed in 2017 and it’s definitely been a slow moving train but wow I can constantly look back and reflect and see how I’m handling life so much better😎💎🙌 my Biggest game changer was self awareness and the second one was cold showers 🚿
Those with borderline are also extremely manipulative. They’re in the came category as narcissism and Antisocial personality disorder and share several traits.
My mom has bpd and I was recently diagnosed myself. I brought it up to my therapist and how my mom and I are alike and I described my symptoms such as anger management issues, self damaging behaviors, antisocial behavior, insecurities and etc.
I did drive really hat for 13 years . I was young when I started but was super happy before using . After being sober 5 years I feel like mentally I’m a wreck. One of my fears
I did not contact her for 12 days, I wanted her to contact, when she did I lost my peace and responded rather with as if wanting her back. She had left me 3 months back. She asked for marriage on 3 Rd meeting and later left me upon realizing my bpd from experiences where I lashed out after helping her with her every school assignment. I feel ashamed, I lost job , I feel emotionally troubled, I tried meditation but still I am not doing well..I remain empty stomach for hours, days...I have lost 15 kgs in 4 months
Hi there! I’m so sorry you are going through this. Try go seek therapy, if you believe in God try going and start taking supplements. I have ADHD and I can so relate to have emotional disregulation. You can try taking magnesium, ashwaganda and a good vitamin B supplement. Much strength and peace for you ✌️
I see you sis!! Are you taking the steps to heal and better yourself? I have been doing a ton of research on this and am curious? I just realized that my attachment style is dismissive avoidant? The internet doesn't like either one of us😢...but I'm willing to put in the work! Life is too short to hate! And we are all stronger then we think we are! Stay blessed loved ones🥰
It's quite meaningful for discussion when you consider borderlines are chemically drawn to narcissistic personality disordered partners. Who is he with? KK. This could last the course. Both must go to therapy tho or one will get better and one worse. Eek 🧡
It's also common for two personality disorders in the same cluster to be comorbid. All personality disorders are put into "clusters" or groups that are similar in functioning but not the same. Bpd is in cluster B of the personality disorders and commonly people who are diagnosed with 1 personality disorder, they may get later diagnosed with a 2nd personality disorder from the same cluster. For example, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago and recently got diagnosed again with narcissistic personality disorder.
@@ceterisparibus8966 No one’s diagnosing her, they’re making an observation based on the countless examples KK has put into the world of her being a narcissistic twatwaffle 😂
@@therealjesterguys wow that makes sense, the older I get the more I feel like my "disorder" is changing. When I was a kid I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, then in my 20s BPD, and now I definitely sense a shift again as I'm going from emotionally unregulated to not having any emotions at all, more selfish, darker thoughts, etc.
My neighbor need these treatments. She won't get it. She gets so aggressive and loud , then wakes me up. She has pushed everyone away in here life and won't let open the door to anyone. I was abused as a child and still bullied by society for my cleft palate and lip half done and impaired speech. I understand abuse causes abandonment and fear. I met her in the hallway and she is nice , but she different behind closed doors based on the thin walls and what we hear. Everyone on her floor pays her no mind. Her cat runs around trying hide. I met her cat . I fear her cat 's life. One personality is a child ( inner child) , one is aggressive personality, and her own co dependent personality.
Dbt has been very beneficial for me; I am blessed to have had multiple opportunities in my past to participate in that, and recommend it to all beings, whether or not diagnosed with bpd. I’m grateful.
This is why I never want to be in a relationship, I mean I have never been before into one but I just feel like people are really gonna leave after a while, not to self diagnose or anything by the way
@FredCarpenter-pm8bfpeople can resolve their issues and help others at the same time. being a therapist isn’t about projecting onto others, it’s about helping people.
@@VvvvvaVvvvvvrwish we’d lock you up, your youtube channel is flopping 💗 most people with mental health issues *need* protection from rude people like you with their unhelpful comments. go do something productive.
It's not uncommon for people with mental health issues to go into psychology in order to find healing for themselves and also help others. I did it too. However, I never found healing in this field. It was only after I got saved that I found true healing. Deliverance prayer in Jesus' name freed me from years of depression -- praise Jesus!
@FredCarpenter-pm8bfusually those who are in mental health, HAVE worked (and are working daily) on their issues. It is through their perseverance, study, intensive research, that they often become experts and want to empower others. When I worked in critical care, one of our best cardiac surgery P.A.s had had multiple heart surgeries himself. Due to his experiences (starting in childhood) he went to school to help others. He was very aware, compassionate, held space for, the patients in a way that showed he truly understood their concerns. What would you prefer? Someone who had forged the road, fought the difficult battle, or someone who merely read about it? Also, maybe examine your own cognitive distortions, biases, that caused you to create an unquestioned narrative, right here on the comments section... ironic, as that looks like projection of your own unresolved issues. Introspection and metacognition would behoove you.
Unofficially diagnosed at 11, then actually at 18. Mum didnt tell me everything until i was 25. This month i turn 29. Im alive. So dbt, years later, and sertraline is working 🎉
I believe while honest this video is understating how difficult it is to live with as both the person with BPD as well as those who make the grave mistake in electing a close relationship with someone who suffers from BPD.
I don’t have BPD but I am someone who gets paranoid thinking I have all the mental illnesses lol kind of like health anxiety but mental health anxiety😂. What scares me the most about BPD isn’t the diagnosis itself but more the fact of how stigmatised it is and how basically if you have it your basically going to be suffering until you die. That shit terrifies me. For example it can be hard to admit to people that you have an anxiety disorder or depression or ADHD etc but for the most part people might think hey he/she is a bit quirky or hey aslong as we can make some adjustments it’s all good. But for what I’ve read about BPD it seems like people with this condition have to hide it because most people will see them as monsters. I feel like most people lump BPD suffers in the same bracket as cold blooded phycopaths life Jeffry dhamer. It’s truly sad to see to be honest. The worst part is how most therapists and doctors will refuse to deal with them because they are to difficult but then wonder why a lot of BPD people end up addicted to drugs, alcohol or end up taking their own life’s.
@@nyx9168 it's the worst feeling ever, but I just want you to know that i've recently realized that this feeling won't last forever, like sometimes i'd be feeling empty but what i've found out that tends to help is just sitting around for a few minutes (or as long as you need) and just thinking about whatever is on your mind at that moment, and within some time this emptiness will pass.
hope you're still okay xxx, whatver your purpose in life is, just know that it's right, and if it isn't you'll find another, just please thinkg of all the things that you enjoy when you;re alive, such as the sunset, sunrise, smoking a cigarette, a song that you like at the moment, like anything. @@nyx9168
like i\ve so many reasons to end my life, but at the same time i've so many reasons to stay alive, such as my dog who's 11 years old but i love, i love him so fck much, and if i could i'd take 50 years of my life and give it to him, like you'' find something to live for.
I don't have a diagnosis but nothing can describe my life more than the symptoms and stories of those with bpd. Im currently attending therapy, i hope i can find some answers and get better.
OMG I am so deeply touched by your having made this video. I used to be a counselor and when I was in school bpd was treated as though it couldn't be or shouldn't, kind preemptive in making a pariah out of a human who already has fears preexisting that there's no one who will stick with them everyone's going on lea. My had bpd along with histrionic. You're brave to share your experience just got a subscription from me!❤
Wait, if it often stems from childhood abuse/neglect and attachment issues why doesn’t the treatment include trauma informed modalities or attachment therapy? Why is it just a thought based therapy?🤔 why would we NOT work on healing the trauma and attachment woulds and use DBT as an adjunct?
personally in my dbt program we also work with trauma based therapies, especially emdr for processing these traumas. it just varies depending on what program you go through.
I could really use a therapist like you. I cant do therapy when my therapist is a textbook. Like if you've never felt exactly how i do then you're not qaulified to help me because you've never pulled yourself up from where i am. But a therapist like you could help me becauae I have bpd which to my mind means you can have the most helpful tips and advice and know how to work with me through my struggles. I really hope i find a therapist like you before my daughter is born because I'm honestly scared.
My twin was diagnosed with this. We went through similar traumas and stuff but I guess I got lucky and my problems were just anxiety disorder and depression and bulimia. So dodged one bullet.
I have no friends bc I think everyone is talking crap and whenever I spazz they have no clue wtf is wrong w me, it gets so overwhelming and sometimes you can’t tell whether if it’s your head or if something is actually wrong
I was diagnosed with bpd, my partner tends to disagree, we have been together 17years and it was harder in the beginning and I worked really hard, now I don't need to work so hard and if I had a test now I don't think I would get this result. I looked into dbt and don't think it's for me, I take antipsychotics and it seems to be working after exhausting antidepressants and lithium I'm fairly stable now.
Sending love and light and fight for stability use DBT but keep in mind you are a indervidual and not one size fits all. Yes thankyou for your honesty, I hope you don't feel any regret.
like i\ve so many reasons to end my life, but at the same time i've so many reasons to stay alive, such as my dog who's 11 years old but i love, i love him so fck much, and if i could i'd take 50 years of my life and give it to him, like you'' find something to live for. (this goes out to every fckn body)
By the way, the prevalence of this disorder is 1%, so even if you exhibit some signs, it doesn't necessarily mean you have borderline personality disorder, according to the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders handbook
There was recently a study done on BPD and whether or not trauma really plays a significant role. It's starting to look more like this is not the case for BPD. It also makes me wonder about the other Cluster-B disorders. The genetic explanation is starting to look more parsimonious. Here is the paper: Familial risk and heritability of diagnosed borderline personality disorder: a register study of the Swedish population, Charlotte Skogland, et al. "Shared environment did not influence the statistical goodness of fit, suggesting that shared familial environmental factors, such as socioeconomics, are unlikely to contribute substantially to the etiological underpinnings of BPD. Traumatic life events, such as sexual or physical abuse and parental divorce or illness, are more frequently reported by individuals with BPD compared to healthy controls or patients with other personality disorders. Although no given environmental risk factor has yet to be clearly identified as causative, our findings suggest that these may reflect unique environmental risks to individuals within a family or might act via gene-by-environment interactions."
I hope you have fully recovered from your BPD, because there is no way you could be an effective therapist if your still psychologically ill. Not in Europe anyway.
I’m in the process of being diagnosed with PTSD and BPD and stuff like this really helps me not be scared of the possibility that I may have BPD. I’ve been terrified of it for months but Pete being open about it (and people like you niece open about it) makes me okay with the idea of it.
weird I have a masters in psychology and we always learned it’s called borderline because it borders between neurosis and psychosis. It extremely hard to treat because when you handle their neurosis they become psychotic. Having grown up with a BPD parent I couldn’t say that is more accurate but I guess now it’s treatable. Find that hard to believe - I guess it needs a new names at it no longer borders than
It has so much stigma with it. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 40, I’m 45 suffered most of my life. Bc my strength got me by hard to diagnose plus health insurance issues (couldn’t afford) It’s a miracle to be diagnosed at a young age. Glad he’s open about it, maybe it’ll chip away at the stigma a bit.
It's been greatly affecting my life too esp my work. It's debilitating. I want to quit work as I am already having hard time concetrating but I can't afford to lose my only source of income as I will no longer able to continue my therapy and meds. It's so hard😣
I think ive figured out the mismatch between rating systems. Rhett's base line is 50. If he likes it to some degree he will give it a 50+. If he dislikes it but would still eat it he gives it under 50, but only goes into the 0-20 range is he hates a food. Link's base line is 0. 0 = absolutely hates the food. To get near to Rhett's baseline Link has to absolutely love a food basically twice as much as Rhett which is frankly impossible.
Why do people keep saying that bpd is purely from abuse? Its not. There's plenty of people who have bpd with no history of abuse. Im not denying the link at all but it's not true that bpd is from abuse
The fact that four out of five borderline personality disorder people are female and the fact that other traits such as high IQ and even physical attractiveness has been noted since the beginning of this particular disorder although that last part while interesting might not be true in Pete's case. Also consider that this is considered a hereditary trait also generally the mothers would have something like this or female relatives all of these things point to a more genetic causation rather than the childhood trauma that was briefly mentioned
I want to go on record (and you can check), i was defending Wendy for his waaaay too many ums. 😂 I get he was ACTING like he was remembering it. He just took it way too far for way too long. I do wish we could see past his lips though. 👄
There's definitely crossover. My previous therapist said I had a lot of the traits of CPTSD but didn't diagnose me as she didn't believe it was a separate diagnosis from PTSD. I sometimes wonder if I have it, as it's a common misdiagnosis and sometimes comorbid. But that might also be my wishing I had something other than BPD.
I wonder if i have this, im always unsure of the things i say im also always trying to diagnose myself with every single disorder and illness, always feel like people dont like me even my family i spend every day with and friends ive had for 20 years. I do this thing were one day ill have a higher pitched kinda submissive voice and dont know much of anything and then the next day ill have what i would call a normal voice and be more sure of myself... Any thoughts on what that could be?
Thank you for being transparent about having bpd as a therapist ♥️
Love it.
I’m a therapist with Bp.d and I love it too :) so great and love to see how many people appreciate the transparency
@@deerinheadlights9784 i'm curious, are you guys more skilled than your patients in dealing with your BPD?
@@lullemans72 They definitely have more control over it, because they kind of have to as a therapist. Otherwise it could result in complete chaos, because BPD rage isn't like normal anger. For me personally, it can range from childlike rage to feeling like a complete sociopath that says some cold hearted shit I wouldn't normally say. Apparently from the perspective of my friends who have seen me at max rage, it's like I'm a completely different person and sometimes my pupils grow to the point that my whole iris turns pitch black. My point is that it wouldn't be the best idea for someone with BPD to have a therapist that doesn't have their BPD in check yet.
@@tegridyprimeotherwise around, if the therapist is skilled/controlled(I hope you know what I mean)in his own behavior it’s the perfect therapist for another bpd patient, because he knows what you mean
I have this it’s a living hell
@FredCarpenter-pm8bf yeah, people like you
I agree 😭
Yeah.
100%
Indeed. I feel so embarrassed about it😭
Its actually sad watching his life play out in real time because it mirrored mine for awhile (hopping from partner to partner, leaving good partners to chase emotionally unavailable ones). Then theres the rumors of the drugs and impulsivity....Hollywood is probably the worst place for him to be right now.
Oh God, I didn't even think about it, but Hollywood is the worst place imaginable for someone with BPD.
Thank you so much for being open about your borderline. It gives me so much more hope about my own recovery
You are so welcome ❤️
@@the.truth.doctor f**k Pete and any one has bpd its just like narcissism, I had a dad w bpd he was alway insane
DBT skills have saved my life with this!
II was diagnosed at 18 with bpd. I am 43 now. I wasn’t brave enough to come out or to unmask until Pete came out. He is so damn brave. He helped me not to hide anymore. I have been embracing and learning about myself now. I always hid and ignored until then.
This is the first person in the psychology world that I’ve seen have BPD and it’s really motivating as I too have BPD and am studying to be a psychologist. One of my ex’s would always blurt this thing out in an argument that I honestly always feared so it triggers me. But he’d always say “You’re studying psychology and are more unstable than anyone you’d try to help”
What an asshole. You will learn to regulate I believe during your education. I think its beautiful what you are doing and I believe in you! 🖤
Marsha Lineham who basically invented DBT also has BPD
Hopefully you will become an exceptionally insightful and compassionate therapist. I have traits of BPD and work with traumatised children. It's a lifelong learning process. Abandoment and emotional deprivation really do a number on us. The anger/rage that BPD are so famous for can be transformed into energy for courage, compassion, insight and transformation.
And he was an immature s*** to love someone You don't have to like a flaw in another but you don't use it against them. Or try to stunt someone's growth or healing to control or project for themselves. You keep growing Your going to help alot of people
I have BPD really bad and it’s truly exhausting. 🤦🏾♀️
Literally didn't know there was a treatment for it. I've always just been given antidepressants.
Mindfullnes and meditation also help a lot
Medication can be a crutch that helps some symptoms, or (You might want to check with your doctor) you could also have depression along with it. If you're not in therapy for it though I highly suggest you try it out. Since it's a personality disorder you can retrain your thought process, which helps soooo much. I used to feel in mental agony (Sadness wise) 24/7 and now it's half of that. Still working on it 😅💜💜💜
Its not necessarily treatment as much as it is a crutch for daily living seen as bpd cant be cured, medications dont treat bpd and are typically given to help deal with other conditions and occasionally they can help some people with additional symptoms, the fact youve not been offered dbt etc is actually mindblowing to me, it is the main thing for borderline management
I understand it's the secretions out of balance in the brain.
Welcome to big pharma
Watching this as someone with BPD it's somewhat comforting.
Everything about this video is wonderful. Sufferers make the best therapists because they have enormous empathy and they truly know how it feels. I have EUPD and I feel heard. Thank you both. X
Thank you Pete Davidson.
I was diagnosed with BPD at 22 but never learned about it from ANY of my 20 therapists over the next 30 years.
I randomly found a book called I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me and the title intrigued me so I bought it.
Absolutely BLEW MY MIND. This book was so eye-opening.
I’m almost 60 now and the past 4yrs (since I first read the book) have been so extremely different from my past that it genuinely makes me cry sometimes.
I'm so glad you found that book, changed my outlook as well. Just knowing what the hell was actually wrong made so much difference because then I could work to fix it
My best description for it is this. Its this overwhelming sensation that everything and everyone around you is going to either leave, die, or never be seen again.
Ive hit a point with relationships where i became numb to the idea of someone leaving. Its creating comfort in being alone while the inside of your head feels like its going to explode.
The *snap* someone talks and you come crahsing down to earth.
Maybe just maybe this is hell. 😅
Feeling heartbroken, being dumped, or feeling upset due to a false scenario
feels like im burning in hell
I related to this comment so much that I actually started to tear up.
Idk you but I love you and I’m glad you’re here ❤
Remember there's a reason for what you go through and you can find it. It's in the past. You've gotta be able to be harsh on your parents/childhood environment. Only recently when I went all floodgates open at my family, saying everything I always wanted and admitted I have stuck up hatred inside me, it really helped. Basically I disowned them. So much pain was eradicated. See, you might be in a block between people pleasing behavioral pattern and (covert) narcissistic abuse, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Such it was for me. So you poison yourself with the hatred that should be blasted against the other covertly abusive, dismissive, irresponsible people, because you protect them with your 'people pleaser' programming. Yes that is hell, between two walls of fire. Only one way out. See that your 'nice and okay' family might not be that okay and that you have the birthright to break out of suffering, NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS. Theu should help you if they were healthy.
But this is what Faith is good for. When you know you're redeemed and your own essence is immortal Spirit, you can finally step out of that loop of social slavery. Fuck them. You are the most important thing, you need Light, Love and Spirit, not lousy, selfish and unaware people who are addicted to smothering eachother. They don't know God, that's why they feed on eachother.
I love you, I want you to be free, I back you up, fucking know that far away somewhere there is someone fierce who backs you up. Go ahead and screencap this comment and show it to some asshole if you ever need to. I love and support you. Be VERY critical, things are not like you learned to see them. Look into 'covert narcissism' and see if you find clues there. Be well, blessings🙏❤️
I feel your pain stranger, the worst part for me was how real that false scenario feels, like at some point i was convinced 100% its real
@@taylorgarton6983 Me too, the pain is so strong I feel like I can't breath.
@@user-ws3fe2hh9x stay strong, my friend. You got this ❤️
I haven't been diagnosed with BPD, but my emotional dysregulation due to my ADHD matches all of these symptoms. In fact, one doctor once suggested I might have EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), but no one else I saw affirmed that hypothesis.
I wish knowing what was wrong would make it easy to cut it out of us, but unfortunately...
there's a huge bias towards adhd and against bpd. Fuck them. I was poisoned by ritalin. They ruined my life.
Emotional dysregulation is due to trauma and insecure attachment. Gabor Mate talks about ADHD being related to trauma as well.
I also have ADHD. There is some overlap when it comes to emotional deregulation and rejection sensitivity. From my understanding, the emotional meltdown from any fear of abandonment is more severe.
@@zacharycadman8226 to me there can't be such a thing as overlap when trauma is the better explsnation for all of it. Speaking of Gabor Mate, he introduces the notion, in regards to adhd, that we learn from a young age to let our minds wander in the face of abuse or adverse experiences growing up, i.e. We want to escape, but can't so we dissociate and tolerate at a distanxe what happens around us. It's no surprise distractions from within well up as soon as we need to focus out attention on something less stimulating, if those emotions have been supressed. There may be some anxiety coming from a feeling of inadequacy in regards to oneself and one's performance as well if such situations have been met with disdain growing up.
And so on and so on.
The overlap and co morbidity is very real. As there is no medication that treat BPD specifically, i think that we (ADHD peeps) can look at a lot of the therapy tools like DBT skills to help regulate our emotions.
I was recently diagnosed myself Pete and seeing that you have it and are able to overcome it and still crack me up in all your films and skits it’s really gives me hope
I'm thankful to anyone who raises awareness and dispels the myths about this much misunderstood condition ❤
Thank you so much for making this illness visible! 🙏🏼 I have BPD as well. Would love to share my history
Thank you for opening up about BPD. My 1/2 sister has this dx and the shame aspect really is problematic. It helps when public figures talk about it. Thank you so much.
gotta be honest, i HATED dbt when i started it, but it really did help. it just seemed like a bunch of obvious stuff, but it turns out just because i knew the concepts, i didn't know how to apply them to myself.
bpd is sorta lile you're an adult with adult feelings and trauma, but you have the emotional skills of a child or teenager because of something happened to stunt it.
I really liked Pete before, i always thought he was naturally funny, but once he opened up about having BPD (we were even both diagnosed in 2017) i felt a more personal connection to him and he has a permanent fan in me for this. Even when his behavior looks extremely familiar and stresses me out 😅🤣
I am also a therapist (LMSW) with BPD (in remission). Thank you for sharing ❤️
How long does someone with BPD that is dedicated to healing have to be in DBT and therapy? What type of professional should treat them and do you recommend a certain modality of therapy in conjunction with the DBT? Also, after doing a year of DBT, how often would you recommend practicing the skills so they can become easily accessible when in crisis? What topics does the therapy cover aside from the abandonment wound? If you have a loved one who meets criteria, what is the most gentle way to help steer them in the right direction? The person I know has done 1 year of DBT and 5 years of therapy, but was diagnosed with ptsd and major depression. I think the therapist may suspect bpd since they sent them to DBT but I’m not sure. The individual has already done a lot of amazing work, but still struggles with dissociation in a crisis, the text bombing and not recognizing they are overstepping boundaries and participating in emotional manipulation. They want to heal and are dedicated, but don’t yet recognize how much they are still hurting others, even though the episodes are less frequent now. They can’t quite grasp the other persons experience until after their events and it takes a lot of emotional communication afterward for them to finally accept the other persons experience. In relationships it’s hard to know how long to hold on to someone with bpd that you love because you don’t know how long it will take them to heal and how much their cycles will hurt you in the interim. Any info you can give that maps out typical treatment and timeline would be so appreciated as well as recommend boundaries for crisis moments and to stop the text bombing and forced conversations in the middle of the night to solve a problem that wasn’t a real problem but a perceived problem. This person is such a wonderful person, but the behaviors can be so draining that it risks a forced abandonment in the end. It’s heartbreaking. Also, I’ve heard that people with untreated bpd cannot love and attach the healthy authentic way and it’s actually an object love…I would like to hear your opinion on that and at what point in their healing process someone with bpd could feel and give real love. Is it possible to stay in relationship if they’re advanced in their healing process or best to not engage until they are finished? How do you know they are healed?
Pete saved my life.
Like you care.
The more you understand this disorder the more successful. You will be in turning your life around and being in control of your body and your mind and your emotions. I was diagnosed in 2017 and it’s definitely been a slow moving train but wow I can constantly look back and reflect and see how I’m handling life so much better😎💎🙌 my Biggest game changer was self awareness and the second one was cold showers 🚿
Those with borderline are also extremely manipulative. They’re in the came category as narcissism and Antisocial personality disorder and share several traits.
Bravo to both!!! BPD here too! Yes to DBT skills
BPD is not always due to child abuse or attachment issues. It can appear later in life due to adult issues also.
My mom has bpd and I was recently diagnosed myself. I brought it up to my therapist and how my mom and I are alike and I described my symptoms such as anger management issues, self damaging behaviors, antisocial behavior, insecurities and etc.
I did drive really hat for 13 years . I was young when I started but was super happy before using . After being sober 5 years I feel like mentally I’m a wreck. One of my fears
I did not contact her for 12 days, I wanted her to contact, when she did I lost my peace and responded rather with as if wanting her back. She had left me 3 months back. She asked for marriage on 3 Rd meeting and later left me upon realizing my bpd from experiences where I lashed out after helping her with her every school assignment. I feel ashamed, I lost job , I feel emotionally troubled, I tried meditation but still I am not doing well..I remain empty stomach for hours, days...I have lost 15 kgs in 4 months
Hi there! I’m so sorry you are going through this. Try go seek therapy, if you believe in God try going and start taking supplements. I have ADHD and I can so relate to have emotional disregulation. You can try taking magnesium, ashwaganda and a good vitamin B supplement. Much strength and peace for you ✌️
I have BPD
I see you sis!! Are you taking the steps to heal and better yourself? I have been doing a ton of research on this and am curious?
I just realized that my attachment style is dismissive avoidant? The internet doesn't like either one of us😢...but I'm willing to put in the work! Life is too short to hate! And we are all stronger then we think we are! Stay blessed loved ones🥰
I’m starting dbt on Monday! I can’t wait!
As someone with BPD DBT helped change my life
I’m so proud of you God bless you man you’re gonna give us lotta help thank you🙏🙏🙏❤️👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏
It's quite meaningful for discussion when you consider borderlines are chemically drawn to narcissistic personality disordered partners. Who is he with? KK. This could last the course. Both must go to therapy tho or one will get better and one worse. Eek 🧡
It's also common for two personality disorders in the same cluster to be comorbid. All personality disorders are put into "clusters" or groups that are similar in functioning but not the same. Bpd is in cluster B of the personality disorders and commonly people who are diagnosed with 1 personality disorder, they may get later diagnosed with a 2nd personality disorder from the same cluster. For example, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago and recently got diagnosed again with narcissistic personality disorder.
And, who are you to diagnose KK as NPD?
@@ceterisparibus8966
No one’s diagnosing her, they’re making an observation based on the countless examples KK has put into the world of her being a narcissistic twatwaffle 😂
KK definitely does not have NPD. Are you saying Ariana and Kate have NPD?
@@therealjesterguys wow that makes sense, the older I get the more I feel like my "disorder" is changing. When I was a kid I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, then in my 20s BPD, and now I definitely sense a shift again as I'm going from emotionally unregulated to not having any emotions at all, more selfish, darker thoughts, etc.
My neighbor need these treatments. She won't get it. She gets so aggressive and loud , then wakes me up. She has pushed everyone away in here life and won't let open the door to anyone.
I was abused as a child and still bullied by society for my cleft palate and lip half done and impaired speech. I understand abuse causes abandonment and fear.
I met her in the hallway and she is nice , but she different behind closed doors based on the thin walls and what we hear.
Everyone on her floor pays her no mind. Her cat runs around trying hide. I met her cat . I fear her cat 's life.
One personality is a child ( inner child) , one is aggressive personality, and her own co dependent personality.
Your neighbor probably doesn’t have BPD. There's 9 very specific criteria and being loud/aggressive isn't one of them.
Don’t diagnose people unless you are a psychiatrist
none of that is on the dsmv5 for bpd
Dbt has been very beneficial for me; I am blessed to have had multiple opportunities in my past to participate in that, and recommend it to all beings, whether or not diagnosed with bpd.
I’m grateful.
God I love Pete. I hope things work out for the dude.
Cringe
I have severe BPD. This clip brightened my day. I have frequent suicidal ideation. I have been inpatient in the psych ward 6 times so far this year 😢
This is why I never want to be in a relationship, I mean I have never been before into one but I just feel like people are really gonna leave after a while, not to self diagnose or anything by the way
Thank you for this :) I’m also a therapist with Bp.d, CPTSD, GAD, ADHD, and a depressive disorder
In the 50s we used to judt lock these people away in institutions to protect people. Wish we still did.
@FredCarpenter-pm8bfpeople can resolve their issues and help others at the same time. being a therapist isn’t about projecting onto others, it’s about helping people.
@@VvvvvaVvvvvvrwish we’d lock you up, your youtube channel is flopping 💗 most people with mental health issues *need* protection from rude people like you with their unhelpful comments. go do something productive.
It's not uncommon for people with mental health issues to go into psychology in order to find healing for themselves and also help others. I did it too. However, I never found healing in this field. It was only after I got saved that I found true healing. Deliverance prayer in Jesus' name freed me from years of depression -- praise Jesus!
@FredCarpenter-pm8bfusually those who are in mental health, HAVE worked (and are working daily) on their issues. It is through their perseverance, study, intensive research, that they often become experts and want to empower others.
When I worked in critical care, one of our best cardiac surgery P.A.s had had multiple heart surgeries himself. Due to his experiences (starting in childhood) he went to school to help others. He was very aware, compassionate, held space for, the patients in a way that showed he truly understood their concerns.
What would you prefer? Someone who had forged the road, fought the difficult battle, or someone who merely read about it?
Also, maybe examine your own cognitive distortions, biases, that caused you to create an unquestioned narrative, right here on the comments section... ironic, as that looks like projection of your own unresolved issues. Introspection and metacognition would behoove you.
cool to see a therapist self identify! thank U for being open
Unofficially diagnosed at 11, then actually at 18. Mum didnt tell me everything until i was 25. This month i turn 29.
Im alive. So dbt, years later, and sertraline is working 🎉
Does anyone know that DBT coach therapy app. Yeah well…my therapist recommended it to me and I didn’t know it was used for mood disorders…
Its made for those but can be applied in any type of therapy
I believe while honest this video is understating how difficult it is to live with as both the person with BPD as well as those who make the grave mistake in electing a close relationship with someone who suffers from BPD.
I don’t have BPD but I am someone who gets paranoid thinking I have all the mental illnesses lol kind of like health anxiety but mental health anxiety😂. What scares me the most about BPD isn’t the diagnosis itself but more the fact of how stigmatised it is and how basically if you have it your basically going to be suffering until you die. That shit terrifies me.
For example it can be hard to admit to people that you have an anxiety disorder or depression or ADHD etc but for the most part people might think hey he/she is a bit quirky or hey aslong as we can make some adjustments it’s all good. But for what I’ve read about BPD it seems like people with this condition have to hide it because most people will see them as monsters. I feel like most people lump BPD suffers in the same bracket as cold blooded phycopaths life Jeffry dhamer.
It’s truly sad to see to be honest. The worst part is how most therapists and doctors will refuse to deal with them because they are to difficult but then wonder why a lot of BPD people end up addicted to drugs, alcohol or end up taking their own life’s.
The emptiness is the worst
Extreme Emptiness almost all the time..
@@nyx9168 it's the worst feeling ever, but I just want you to know that i've recently realized that this feeling won't last forever, like sometimes i'd be feeling empty but what i've found out that tends to help is just sitting around for a few minutes (or as long as you need) and just thinking about whatever is on your mind at that moment, and within some time this emptiness will pass.
hope you're still okay xxx, whatver your purpose in life is, just know that it's right, and if it isn't you'll find another, just please thinkg of all the things that you enjoy when you;re alive, such as the sunset, sunrise, smoking a cigarette, a song that you like at the moment, like anything. @@nyx9168
like i\ve so many reasons to end my life, but at the same time i've so many reasons to stay alive, such as my dog who's 11 years old but i love, i love him so fck much, and if i could i'd take 50 years of my life and give it to him, like you'' find something to live for.
I don't have a diagnosis but nothing can describe my life more than the symptoms and stories of those with bpd. Im currently attending therapy, i hope i can find some answers and get better.
OMG I am so deeply touched by your having made this video. I used to be a counselor and when I was in school bpd was treated as though it couldn't be or shouldn't, kind preemptive in making a pariah out of a human who already has fears preexisting that there's no one who will stick with them everyone's going on lea. My had bpd along with histrionic. You're brave to share your experience just got a subscription from me!❤
No wonder I love him!
Wait, if it often stems from childhood abuse/neglect and attachment issues why doesn’t the treatment include trauma informed modalities or attachment therapy? Why is it just a thought based therapy?🤔 why would we NOT work on healing the trauma and attachment woulds and use DBT as an adjunct?
personally in my dbt program we also work with trauma based therapies, especially emdr for processing these traumas. it just varies depending on what program you go through.
I could really use a therapist like you. I cant do therapy when my therapist is a textbook. Like if you've never felt exactly how i do then you're not qaulified to help me because you've never pulled yourself up from where i am. But a therapist like you could help me becauae I have bpd which to my mind means you can have the most helpful tips and advice and know how to work with me through my struggles. I really hope i find a therapist like you before my daughter is born because I'm honestly scared.
My twin was diagnosed with this. We went through similar traumas and stuff but I guess I got lucky and my problems were just anxiety disorder and depression and bulimia. So dodged one bullet.
I have no friends bc I think everyone is talking crap and whenever I spazz they have no clue wtf is wrong w me, it gets so overwhelming and sometimes you can’t tell whether if it’s your head or if something is actually wrong
Thank you so much for this, subs for mental health are literally so important!
I have bpd and it's ruining my life 😢
I just found you right now and you are so AWESOME!! I really needed this channel. Thank you.
I was diagnosed with bpd, my partner tends to disagree, we have been together 17years and it was harder in the beginning and I worked really hard, now I don't need to work so hard and if I had a test now I don't think I would get this result. I looked into dbt and don't think it's for me, I take antipsychotics and it seems to be working after exhausting antidepressants and lithium I'm fairly stable now.
My sister has this. I have CPTSD. We had a narcissist for a mother. If you are healthy, cherish that gift.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
DBT is life saving!
Sending love and light and fight for stability use DBT but keep in mind you are a indervidual and not one size fits all. Yes thankyou for your honesty, I hope you don't feel any regret.
like i\ve so many reasons to end my life, but at the same time i've so many reasons to stay alive, such as my dog who's 11 years old but i love, i love him so fck much, and if i could i'd take 50 years of my life and give it to him, like you'' find something to live for. (this goes out to every fckn body)
Pete is a boss
By the way, the prevalence of this disorder is 1%, so even if you exhibit some signs, it doesn't necessarily mean you have borderline personality disorder, according to the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders handbook
There was recently a study done on BPD and whether or not trauma really plays a significant role.
It's starting to look more like this is not the case for BPD.
It also makes me wonder about the other Cluster-B disorders.
The genetic explanation is starting to look more parsimonious.
Here is the paper: Familial risk and heritability of diagnosed borderline personality disorder: a register study of the Swedish population, Charlotte Skogland, et al.
"Shared environment did not influence the statistical goodness of fit, suggesting that shared familial environmental factors, such as socioeconomics, are unlikely to contribute substantially to the etiological underpinnings of BPD. Traumatic life events, such as sexual or physical abuse and parental divorce or illness, are more frequently reported by individuals with BPD compared to healthy controls or patients with other personality disorders. Although no given environmental risk factor has yet to be clearly identified as causative, our findings suggest that these may reflect unique environmental risks to individuals within a family or might act via gene-by-environment interactions."
I have a idgaf disorder that makes me not care about the having no friends,and no dad
so me 😭😂
It'll catch up to you one day
I think you mentioning it just shows you care
I hope you have fully recovered from your BPD, because there is no way you could be an effective therapist if your still psychologically ill. Not in Europe anyway.
yes DBT for behavior help and I used EBT for the trauma
Dear Pete, I have it too. Not fun. But if you have daily routines, exercise and DBT, helped me anyway 💪😘
I said this too I’m so thankful I’m on this frequency cause if I wasn’t I would not hear you
I’m in the process of being diagnosed with PTSD and BPD and stuff like this really helps me not be scared of the possibility that I may have BPD. I’ve been terrified of it for months but Pete being open about it (and people like you niece open about it) makes me okay with the idea of it.
weird I have a masters in psychology and we always learned it’s called borderline because it borders between neurosis and psychosis. It extremely hard to treat because when you handle their neurosis they become psychotic. Having grown up with a BPD parent I couldn’t say that is more accurate but I guess now it’s treatable. Find that hard to believe - I guess it needs a new names at it no longer borders than
Very true. My daughter has it
thanks for the diagnosis! lol
(but srsly I'm seeing a psychiatrist in the morning, was already scheduled last week)
The people around me with BPD are constantly trying to ruin everyone else’s life while simultaneously covering up there mental illness
DBT saved my life, as did EMDR.
It has so much stigma with it. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 40, I’m 45 suffered most of my life. Bc my strength got me by hard to diagnose plus health insurance issues (couldn’t afford) It’s a miracle to be diagnosed at a young age. Glad he’s open about it, maybe it’ll chip away at the stigma a bit.
My respect for pete 📈📈
I get very frustrated waiting. 😢 it almost hurts
I actually have a personality disorder but here's the thing I know call me weird but I actually want to keep it if anything it ain't bad for me😂
BPD is running my life in the ground i quit my job friday I've been miserable i can barely function 😢
It's been greatly affecting my life too esp my work. It's debilitating. I want to quit work as I am already having hard time concetrating but I can't afford to lose my only source of income as I will no longer able to continue my therapy and meds. It's so hard😣
I definitely think I have this
The song Borderline by Madonna is about a person with BPD
It’s a coping mechanism that some develop as children
I think ive figured out the mismatch between rating systems.
Rhett's base line is 50. If he likes it to some degree he will give it a 50+. If he dislikes it but would still eat it he gives it under 50, but only goes into the 0-20 range is he hates a food.
Link's base line is 0. 0 = absolutely hates the food. To get near to Rhett's baseline Link has to absolutely love a food basically twice as much as Rhett which is frankly impossible.
i have bpd too but im not being treated for it, im really scared
Thank you for this content
I see a therapist and also use DBT, but it's still there, and I fight it every fucking day.
Why do people keep saying that bpd is purely from abuse? Its not.
There's plenty of people who have bpd with no history of abuse.
Im not denying the link at all but it's not true that bpd is from abuse
she didn't say abuse, she said childhood trauma
I think some of y'all should look into EMDR as well.
They put me on abilify and regular talk therapy lol guess DBT was too expensive
The fact that four out of five borderline personality disorder people are female and the fact that other traits such as high IQ and even physical attractiveness has been noted since the beginning of this particular disorder although that last part while interesting might not be true in Pete's case. Also consider that this is considered a hereditary trait also generally the mothers would have something like this or female relatives all of these things point to a more genetic causation rather than the childhood trauma that was briefly mentioned
I want to go on record (and you can check), i was defending Wendy for his waaaay too many ums. 😂
I get he was ACTING like he was remembering it. He just took it way too far for way too long.
I do wish we could see past his lips though.
👄
He looks like a young Steve Buscemi
I thought I had Borderline but I don't have fear of abandonment. I may have something else
I was diagnosed with it too.
I have CPTSD since 8 years, si it feels like it is My personality, I feel like a relate too much with BPD
There's definitely crossover. My previous therapist said I had a lot of the traits of CPTSD but didn't diagnose me as she didn't believe it was a separate diagnosis from PTSD. I sometimes wonder if I have it, as it's a common misdiagnosis and sometimes comorbid. But that might also be my wishing I had something other than BPD.
Realest shit ever said
Where im from im unable to get a therapist or a psychologist before i turn 15.
Dbt is the only thing that helps unless you have a friend who understands you
I wonder if i have this, im always unsure of the things i say im also always trying to diagnose myself with every single disorder and illness, always feel like people dont like me even my family i spend every day with and friends ive had for 20 years. I do this thing were one day ill have a higher pitched kinda submissive voice and dont know much of anything and then the next day ill have what i would call a normal voice and be more sure of myself... Any thoughts on what that could be?