Cringey RPer Repeatedly Fails to Romance OP (Or Anyone Else)

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  • Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024

Комментарии • 398

  • @CritCrab
    @CritCrab  4 месяца назад +142

    Yo! good to be back! Gonna start uploading regularly again for a little bit. Thanks to ExpressVPN for helping keep the lights on. Go to www.expressvpn.com/critcrab and find out how you can get 3 months of ExpressVPN free!

    • @jekichaniago5273
      @jekichaniago5273 4 месяца назад +2

      Welcome back King!

    • @QuestForTacos
      @QuestForTacos 4 месяца назад

      Happy to have you back! I hope you and yours are well. Also, thank you for combating my tinnitus at night!

    • @bobertastic6541
      @bobertastic6541 4 месяца назад

      Based sponsor timestamper

    • @lin0bean084
      @lin0bean084 3 месяца назад

      welcome back! ur the only person i listen to these days u have such a good reading voice!

    • @Speedx67
      @Speedx67 3 месяца назад

      I miss the crab noises when you pop into frame

  • @Blackferret66
    @Blackferret66 4 месяца назад +598

    Guard: "Sorry, I'm married."
    Trouble: "Oh come on.... they won't know. We can have a good time."
    Guard: "To him. (points at other guard)

    • @benhramiak8781
      @benhramiak8781 3 месяца назад +48

      Im using this in a game haha

    • @rodrigossgardelis7384
      @rodrigossgardelis7384 3 месяца назад +24

      Nah it wouldn’t work, the guy was too unhinged. He would probably have said: Bring your husband/wife as well, the more the merrier.

    • @benhramiak8781
      @benhramiak8781 3 месяца назад +3

      @@rodrigossgardelis7384 depends on the player.

    • @rodrigossgardelis7384
      @rodrigossgardelis7384 3 месяца назад +25

      @@benhramiak8781 It does but I am talking about the specific guy mentioned in the story. If he had no problems roleplaying NSFW stuff to a 14 year old character and even worse to a 17 year old player.There’s no way an in game inconvenience would stop him.

    • @benhramiak8781
      @benhramiak8781 3 месяца назад +4

      @@rodrigossgardelis7384 yeah, good point. Need to vet players to an extent

  • @Ash-V
    @Ash-V 4 месяца назад +188

    If Trouble had focused solely on NPCs, I'd have said it was just an excuse to flirt with/fluster his boyfriend. As soon as it turned to other PCs, I no longer had any idea what his goal was.
    Then it got worse.

  • @eesedesesesrdtsuperjoshuab7907
    @eesedesesesrdtsuperjoshuab7907 4 месяца назад +176

    The idea of the party using the “rizz attacks” as snack and bathroom breaks is so funny to me.
    “Oh no, trouble is rizzing up John again, I’m gonna go take a piss”

    • @SillyRobot
      @SillyRobot 3 месяца назад +1

      Lmao, this comment is amazing.

    • @viderevero1338
      @viderevero1338 2 месяца назад +2

      Whole session seemed pretty humorous and mildly annoying until the....end section. 😅

    • @bingbongwahoo-ov1ip
      @bingbongwahoo-ov1ip Месяц назад +1

      "someone's being sexually harassed by the same guy who does this literally every time we see him, oh well, better just walk away from this situation"
      Jesus dude

    • @gnome5057
      @gnome5057 Месяц назад

      taime to take a peeeeeeeeeeessssssss

  • @Kek393
    @Kek393 4 месяца назад +523

    This isn't even "never meeting a woman" moment this is just a straight up "what is wrong with you" moment.

    • @tehcodekid8421
      @tehcodekid8421 16 дней назад +1

      This isn’t even a bruh moment anymore
      *Disturbed.jpeg*
      What the actual fuck is wrong with you

  • @derpaderpy4931
    @derpaderpy4931 4 месяца назад +456

    Story 2: Art is already an amazing player if he's able to use the DM warning of "Are you sure you want to do this?" ON the DM.

    • @animeotaku307
      @animeotaku307 4 месяца назад +48

      That was such a power move.

    • @BlueMerStudios
      @BlueMerStudios 4 месяца назад +18

      I got the biggest grin when I heard that!

    • @Zorothegallade-gg7zg
      @Zorothegallade-gg7zg 4 месяца назад +25

      "You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?"

    • @Araidiara
      @Araidiara 2 месяца назад +4

      better yet? REMEMBER THAT THIS IS HIS FIRST CAMPAIGN!

    • @derpaderpy4931
      @derpaderpy4931 2 месяца назад

      @@Araidiara Hence why I used the word "already."

  • @rossjohnstone4689
    @rossjohnstone4689 4 месяца назад +402

    Our crabking has returned! So nice to see you again :3

  • @M_Alexander
    @M_Alexander 4 месяца назад +161

    You'd think a player flirting with NPCs when dating the DM wouldn't be _that_ bad but...

  • @pumpkinicing
    @pumpkinicing 4 месяца назад +301

    man, i really needed this today! got the courage to leave my manipulative bf today, he tried to gaslight me, and he kept trying to sneak his fetishes into our d&d games. so this is perfect timing for the day I'm having

    • @chairliftphilospher5710
      @chairliftphilospher5710 4 месяца назад +23

      Hope you have good buddies/family to support you, and I hope you start feeling better.

    • @deepsoft7829
      @deepsoft7829 4 месяца назад +15

      Congrats on getting out of the trap! I hope everything gets better for ya, be strong 💪💪

    • @everlastingdragon4520
      @everlastingdragon4520 4 месяца назад +6

      * offers digital hugs *

    • @autumnsilverwinds4990
      @autumnsilverwinds4990 4 месяца назад +9

      Congrats! It takes a lot of courage to walk away from those situations, Im proud of you random stranger. You did good, and dont let anyone tell you different

    • @neekoorso
      @neekoorso 4 месяца назад +5

      Congrats!!!!

  • @TheNewRedOne
    @TheNewRedOne 4 месяца назад +130

    5:21 I never ever thought I'd hear someone utter the phrase "DnD sex% speedrun"... Congrats, Crab, have a thumbs up.

    • @stupidhead_2812
      @stupidhead_2812 Месяц назад +2

      The Baldur's Gate 3 Sex% speedrun with Lae'zel definitely made it more prevalent

  • @12SickOne34
    @12SickOne34 4 месяца назад +136

    3:44 "General Kenobi", the Guard answered.

    • @Nbird16
      @Nbird16 4 месяца назад +29

      The Guard then draws four swords. Roll Initiative!

    • @JustFilmAlready
      @JustFilmAlready 4 месяца назад +1

      I see your likes is at 66 so I’m going to respect that and just give a comment 😂

    • @IvanZaguzin-b2b
      @IvanZaguzin-b2b Месяц назад

      Dats great

  • @michaeljebbett160
    @michaeljebbett160 4 месяца назад +138

    I'm a dude whoplays a female character in one of my campaigns.
    My group often makes the mistake of referring to my character as "he," not always able to separate me from my character.
    It's kinda become a running joke in the group, to the point where she sometimes gets indignant about being misgendered.

    • @WhyYouMadBoi
      @WhyYouMadBoi 4 месяца назад +13

      Yeah playing a female dwarf character in a game not in 5e. Basically made her like Dr. Ms. Monarch deep voice and a smoker

    • @dr3dg352
      @dr3dg352 4 месяца назад +21

      That would always upset me growing up. O_O Now that I've grown into an openly trans woman, it would irk me even more if it happened. 😅

    • @Banana-xk1gs
      @Banana-xk1gs 4 месяца назад +8

      @@dr3dg352 idk if it was recent, but just in case congrats 👏❤

    • @dr3dg352
      @dr3dg352 4 месяца назад +3

      @@Banana-xk1gs Hey thank you so much!! 😊💜

    • @knownevildoer
      @knownevildoer 4 месяца назад +3

      ​@@dr3dg352 congrats!

  • @starbird3939
    @starbird3939 4 месяца назад +177

    Story 1
    We have couples at our table, we don’t act fucking weird and we don’t date underaged characters.
    If anyone tried that, they be gone-no ifs ands or buts

    • @MinscShip
      @MinscShip 4 месяца назад +4

      we have the same rule but are from europe and the age is 16 here however if 1 player so no then it is no end of story

    • @thefonz8373
      @thefonz8373 4 месяца назад +1

      Personally never been one to play with a couple. Because it gets messy real quick.. it very rarely is not a horror story. Even if they weren't being weird, their relationship dynamics quickly start interfering with the game. DND is an intense personal story for everyone involved. People tend to put some part of themselves in their characters. So it is almost inevitable for real life to bleed in to the game. The one time I did play with a couple, they were being insufferable at the table. Making googly eyes at each other, only caring about each other and not engaging other players in the party and the woman would get unnecessarily defensive about who the guy talked to. I had rolled a female character and I was playfully flirting with his character and she got visibly irritated with me.. The funny thing is, I am a dude and this guy wasn't even Bi! So she saw problem where literally none existed. Left the game, when she out of pocket decided to challenge my character for a one on one duel to see who got to be the rightful "wife"? Completely grossed me out and I just walked away, both in and out of character. Swore to never join a table with a couple ever again

    • @MinscShip
      @MinscShip 4 месяца назад

      @@thefonz8373 you know the last 10 year i have been in 2 group with my wife, and i never got wierd, we have a simple rule what happen in rollplaying stay in rollplaying

    • @sirkiken
      @sirkiken 4 месяца назад +2

      @@thefonz8373 I've heard very similar things about playing w/couples. The one couple I paly with are super close friend and have been since before they were dating. They started dating in high school and we're all in our mid-30's now so thankfully we don' t have any of those issues.

    • @thefonz8373
      @thefonz8373 4 месяца назад +2

      @@sirkiken That's nice. I feel like maybe older couples who are in their 30s would be more secure, so they probably are fun to play with.

  • @Floweramon
    @Floweramon 4 месяца назад +52

    "What's more pathetic than having the power of a God and failing anyway?" Damn now that's a line!

  • @DaDMonDCB
    @DaDMonDCB 4 месяца назад +112

    This is why the best approach to flirting is to talk to players about what their character is or isn't willing to do. I always ask privately before attempting to engage another character in a romance arc.

    • @bobertastic6541
      @bobertastic6541 4 месяца назад +20

      also probably not doing it to someone OVER A DECADE YOUNGER THAN YOU

  • @LordSvzklx
    @LordSvzklx 4 месяца назад +31

    “You can’t be attracted to him, he doesn’t have the Intelligence or Charisma for it!”
    And judging by how you reacted to rejection, creepy DM, neither do you…

  • @CandyChaos7
    @CandyChaos7 4 месяца назад +62

    Trouble: WHY WON'T YOU DATE ME?! 👁💋👁
    Gohan: Uhhhh... *Confused*😕

  • @eggy6815
    @eggy6815 4 месяца назад +31

    Crit crab intros be like:
    “This story is about the most vile, degenerate edge lord sociopath you’ll ever see, there are reclusive incels who haven’t even touched another human let alone a woman who have better manners than this guy!…. Oh and also here’s todays sponsor :)”

  • @Calebgoblin
    @Calebgoblin 4 месяца назад +85

    "The worst she can say is no"
    Ah, but have you considered being your own worst enemy

  • @oneghost1257
    @oneghost1257 4 месяца назад +22

    Remember everyone! If you cringe at a memory its because you've grown as a person since then!
    Sincerely, someone who knows time travel won't be invented during their lifetime because they don't have any childhood memories of being slapped upside the head by a strangely familiar adult.

  • @bestpriest2224
    @bestpriest2224 4 месяца назад +12

    I actually physically repulsed hearing the kid was 17 and the guy was 27. My god.

  • @kaekaeno
    @kaekaeno 4 месяца назад +9

    At first I was like "thank god the guy didn't romance the 14 yo they had to smuggle". Oh boy, did I think too soon...

  • @serathaevistille995
    @serathaevistille995 3 месяца назад +12

    'Well, maybe my character just likes big, strong dumb guys.' That is such a perfect response to the utter nonsense the DM spouted before that, lmao.

    • @djphoenix279
      @djphoenix279 Месяц назад +1

      Right? Gotta love himbos too (like Kronk from The Emperor’s New Groove) 😁❤️

  • @SSYX336
    @SSYX336 4 месяца назад +37

    "Have you ever tried flirting with someone" nope, guess I can't watch this video

    • @GhostBear3067
      @GhostBear3067 4 месяца назад +2

      No go ahead, learn what not to do.

    • @Araidiara
      @Araidiara 2 месяца назад +1

      might this be a fellow ace?

    • @SSYX336
      @SSYX336 2 месяца назад

      @@Araidiara Sorry, I am not ace, just really bad at flirting

    • @killer_queen4062
      @killer_queen4062 Месяц назад

      ​@@Araidiara fellow aro ace here ^.^

    • @ismailabaza411
      @ismailabaza411 Месяц назад

      @@GhostBear3067I mean you don’t need to watch the video to understand that flirting with a minor is awful

  • @techstorezombie9316
    @techstorezombie9316 4 месяца назад +29

    Trouble is a huge creep, but the entire table is to blame here. This behavior only continues WHEN NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. There's a difference between brushing him off in character and sitting there uncomfortably, and standing up saying "You NEED to stop, this is unacceptable behavior."
    Half of these D&D horror stories wouldn't happen it SOMEBODY, SPOKE, UP.

    • @trip9845
      @trip9845 4 месяца назад +2

      ya they get no sympathy from me

    • @GreatestRedPanda
      @GreatestRedPanda 4 месяца назад +8

      Had to scroll too far to find this. OP makes it pretty clear that at no point does anybody ever actually confront Trouble for his behaviour. I haven't got a lot of sympathy for the "wow look at how uncomfortable this weirdo is making everyone feel, but let's definitely never ever address it or call him out at any point during the huge number of sessions we have with him on a regular basis, and instead just post about it on some forum like we aren't allowing it to happen". Christ, yes Troubles behaviour is problematic, but if you never have the guts to address it, you are as much the problem yourself.

    • @jolteon345
      @jolteon345 3 месяца назад +4

      I think part of the problem was that Trouble and the DM were dating at the time. It becomes dangerous territory where you can risk a player that’s actively attached to the DM blowing up the whole game, or even forcing the DM to kick you out. This is mostly failed by the DM, you don’t start a game with your partner, whether it’s as players or a player and a DM, if you both can’t agree that the game is the game and doesn’t actively effect your relationship unless something really screwed up happens.
      If the DM is unwilling to step in outside of sliding him out of scene or “Surprise! Orcs!”, it will tell the players that they can’t speak up or do anything.

  • @ValeriaPegasus
    @ValeriaPegasus 3 месяца назад +9

    Story 2: Let's imagine for a second that Art's fighter actually died and the GM was comfident on "now I can keep my moves on Jen" and at the eno of the session, Art an Jen just go have dinner at some place GM can't control

  • @tamar7065
    @tamar7065 4 месяца назад +23

    That thumbnail is a hell of a crossover fanfic waiting to happen

  • @Necrodancer1312
    @Necrodancer1312 4 месяца назад +41

    Man it's a bad day to be a D&D player whose main recurring character is named Trouble.

    • @gecko2.617
      @gecko2.617 4 месяца назад

      reminds of a minotaur called Trouble, but I am not sure where got that from, only that it is either a Manga or a Novel... 😅

    • @Necrodancer1312
      @Necrodancer1312 4 месяца назад

      @@gecko2.617 in my case it's a tiefling Bard I've been playing in some form or another for like eight years that uses Trouble as their virtue name lol

  • @enchanter1102
    @enchanter1102 2 месяца назад +5

    Art studied the whole player handbook and made sure to watch plenty of videos so he knew how to be a good player. Be more like Art.

  • @1Pidds
    @1Pidds 4 месяца назад +8

    I never entertained the idea of April May from Ace Attorney hitting on Son Gohan but here we are now

  • @kcollier2192
    @kcollier2192 4 месяца назад +18

    " Have I ever told you the definition of cringe?"
    Vas Montenegro, probably

    • @gecko2.617
      @gecko2.617 4 месяца назад +5

      "Have you ever heard of the legend of Trouble the incel? I thought not, it is not the kind of story the good players tell. He was so weird and bad, even his boyfriend DM was weirdet out by this guy!"
      - Sir CritCrab, Dark Lord of the Crabs -

  • @SugaredViolette
    @SugaredViolette 4 месяца назад +6

    100 sand dollars for referencing the "breasted boobily down the stairs" meme

  • @Idunnohowabout7364
    @Idunnohowabout7364 24 дня назад +5

    I wonder how uncomfortable the DM was seeing their boyfriend flirt with the NPCs and other players having your partner do that cannot be pleasant.

  • @marybdrake1472
    @marybdrake1472 4 месяца назад +8

    Wow Jen parry bullied that DM like they were a Crucible Knight in Elden Ring. 😆😆 With just one successful parry no less.
    Also, did anyone teach Trouble the definition of insanity? That might help, maybe.

  • @primeemperor9196
    @primeemperor9196 3 месяца назад +4

    DM: "Why do you like him? He's dumb and has no rizz!"
    Jen: "Joke's on you, that's exactly what I'm into!"

  • @AgtPaper665
    @AgtPaper665 4 месяца назад +5

    I have only ever IC flirted once.
    OOC: We dated for 6ish months. Ended amicably. Stayed in touch and kept playing in group.
    IC: Our characters have been canonically married for the past 300+ years of our divergent DnD group's timelines, with three lovely, werewolf daughters (it's complicated).

  • @KumiChan2004
    @KumiChan2004 4 месяца назад +2

    To be fair.
    One of my characters is a new goddess. She fumbles around and fails often.
    But she's a 13 year old child and still learning.

  • @bnsz8704
    @bnsz8704 4 месяца назад +6

    Crab: “have you ever flirted with anyone…”
    Me: “no😎”

  • @seleckt6600
    @seleckt6600 3 месяца назад +2

    Damn bro, I need to start taking notes on how to make a female character.
    All of mine end up as a muscle mommy barbarian. Kinda woman who can help you pillage a village.
    Apparently I been doing it wrong.

  • @Wraice619
    @Wraice619 4 месяца назад +4

    6:25 "But you're making it so hard."
    That's definitely what he's trying to do. 😂

  • @BlaineSimple
    @BlaineSimple 4 месяца назад +6

    THE CRAB IS BACK 🦀🦀🦀

  • @king_life_master2868
    @king_life_master2868 2 месяца назад +2

    You know with how many time I hear the word trouble I couldn't stop hearing that song that was like "I knew you were trouble when you walked in"

  • @PeachBolch
    @PeachBolch 4 месяца назад +3

    am i the only one who clicked because i saw gohan 💀

  • @TheBonkleFox
    @TheBonkleFox 4 месяца назад +4

    the repeatedly batting eyelashes would have been hilarious if the guard interpreted it as some sort of coded message.

  • @sethbennedetti753
    @sethbennedetti753 4 месяца назад +4

    When did D&D horror stories turn into the Catch a Predator

  • @noisehero4409
    @noisehero4409 4 месяца назад +4

    Easy way to combat this and make it aware, saying something when it happens. When you say no and in character they continue, get out of character and make apparent how weird/uncomfortable the situation makes you. Understandable with OP not, but anyone else at the table. People will only get angrier if they think no one has a problem and then the “oh NOW you have a problem with it?” situations arise which I’m sure is one of the biggest worries people have. Imo I’d rather someone be grumbly mad and see if they change or fallout naturally. Especially since they were the odd man out in the situation.

  • @AlienDude51
    @AlienDude51 4 месяца назад +2

    "My character likes big, strong, dumb guys"
    Finally, a person with good taste!

  • @ralseibutitsacat8169
    @ralseibutitsacat8169 4 месяца назад +4

    Never thought I’d see gohan and that one chick from ace attorney in the same thumbnail

  • @yabe-kfptentacultist
    @yabe-kfptentacultist 4 месяца назад +5

    Wake up crabs, new CritCrab upload!

  • @chairliftphilospher5710
    @chairliftphilospher5710 4 месяца назад +7

    8:28 is when most of my female characters would murder his character, fearing for their safety. One of them in particular would do it sooner because she would rather be friends with animals, one might do it later cos she's more live and let live long as no one gets hurt. 10:27 is when they'd all DEFINITELY murder trouble's character to protect OP's 14 YEAR OLD character.

  • @epicgamernoisesintensifies6238
    @epicgamernoisesintensifies6238 23 дня назад +2

    3:34 this guy roleplays like he’s writing a romance novel.

  • @ckinggaming5bucketmadness766
    @ckinggaming5bucketmadness766 Месяц назад +2

    Never thought I’d hear “rizz attacks”

  • @DuplexxSiren
    @DuplexxSiren 4 месяца назад +2

    What up Crit big fan

  • @themanhimself5650
    @themanhimself5650 4 месяца назад +2

    the first story was gross. i have had a player like that and it was so awkward. as DM, the second one of my players felt uncomfortable i leaped on the opportunity to kick him before thing could get any stranger than it already was. its distasteful, and should be avoided. be careful fellow adventures, have fun

  • @justicedunham4088
    @justicedunham4088 3 месяца назад +2

    8:25 “Why don’t you take a seat right over there?”
    Or
    “FBI! Open up!!”

  • @gwammeh
    @gwammeh 4 месяца назад +4

    Always a good day when there's CritCrab to listen to

  • @jamesyoung7400
    @jamesyoung7400 3 месяца назад +1

    The unsung problem from the second story was the DM saying the fighter's intelligence and Charisma was very low. I'm 100% positive that one of them was an 8 and the other was 10. That is not low that is literally average. This is an issue that pops up all the time and its primarily an issue with player that have joined in under WotC's control of D&D. I see people acting like someone with an 10 strength is feeble or a 8 con as being bed sickly and practically bed ridden. I just strikes a nerve with me.

  • @irisdaniels2318
    @irisdaniels2318 2 месяца назад +1

    that first creepy player really went: "i uhh.. i like em younger. as young as possible 👹"

  • @reaperox_
    @reaperox_ 21 день назад +1

    "I can make you comfortable"
    "Sure, go stand over there, and stay over there" *points to the edge of a cliff* "maybe trip while you're at it, will make me way more comfortable"

  • @takaw.d8486
    @takaw.d8486 3 месяца назад +1

    Ive had a Girl constantly try to flirt with me mid Dnd sesh, it was weird asf and took the boys telling me to realize this, honestly i didnt care, i just wanted to be a racist high elf man

  • @LasagnaQueen
    @LasagnaQueen Месяц назад +1

    "What's more pathetic than having the power of a God and failing anyway?" 🥶🥶🥶
    Let him cook!

  • @davidarmstrong1617
    @davidarmstrong1617 4 месяца назад +2

    Oh thank god you're back! I'm getting so tired of Crispy's Tavern and his lame little skits interrupting the stories. All hail CritCrab! So thankful you're back.

  • @Karmasu_L
    @Karmasu_L 4 месяца назад +2

    I wonder of the anti predatory orc summons can be weaponized somehow.
    Like during a difficult fight in order to divide the attention of the enemy. 🤣

    • @marcogypaetus9607
      @marcogypaetus9607 Месяц назад +1

      The idea of a character that's been cursed so that anytime they try hitting on anyone they just inexplicably summon a gang of orcs is extremely funny

  • @alarkhar
    @alarkhar 4 месяца назад +1

    Honestly, there is worse horny players than Trouble - I know, because I had a teammate that literally went after everything "gender compatible". No one was safe: not the other players, not the enemies, no matter what race they were, not even inanimate objects. Yes, not even those... dude ended up having his way with a female bas relief on a castle wall! We literally had to drag him away THREE TIMES as he kept going back and trying to do the deed with that poor innocent marble sculpture!

  • @Distantone11
    @Distantone11 2 месяца назад +1

    why are most of your videos about such miserable stuff? Don't you, with your cute crab motif, ever want to post stories highlighting the nice times in DnD?

    • @kaitlynmorgan4613
      @kaitlynmorgan4613 2 месяца назад

      i dont think itd get views. of course people like nice stories, myself included, but insane stories are highly entertaining and engaging (literally considering the amount of comments). i dont think its cause ppl dont like nice stories or wanna be miserable but! idk!

  • @SeventhGod77
    @SeventhGod77 Месяц назад +1

    “I need an adult”
    “I am an adult~”
    *knees child in stomach*

  • @therealDeaddogg
    @therealDeaddogg 4 месяца назад +2

    The idea of a 20 minute break for snacks and rpdating hit’s different

  • @bigman4
    @bigman4 3 месяца назад +1

    “Maybe I just like himbos” is so real

  • @vrcxdc3623
    @vrcxdc3623 4 месяца назад +2

    Wait, i remember word for word last story about "my char likes big dumb guys"
    Was it here before?

    • @Radicalbeast
      @Radicalbeast 4 месяца назад +1

      alot of the dnd horror story youtubers wnd up having similar stories as people copy paste it and repost it around only changing a few details for a moment of fame.

  • @cabbage_cat
    @cabbage_cat 2 месяца назад +1

    2nd story is so satisfying, Art got that main character energy

  • @jamesscott305
    @jamesscott305 4 месяца назад +2

    I hope Jen & Art have a happy campaign together for life 💚

  • @alexi4829
    @alexi4829 4 месяца назад +1

    we have a Horny Bardᵀᴹ in 1 of the groups I'm in, she also flirts with a lot of the NPCs we encounter, but unless the flirting will somehow advance the goals of the group it's regulated to background noise with the player saying no more than "I try to flirt with [NPC]" and half the time she's not even that overt about it. right now we're all anticipating her seducing and bedding this friendly incubus our party's encountered.
    actually if if I'm being honest the Ranger's the anything-that-passes-the-Harkness-test type of our group more so than the Bard!
    the difference is we're all enjoying it and having fun, and there's no underlying creep factor.
    and when it comes to flirting in tabletop, I have a personal rule of not flirting with my girlfriend's characters regardless of if I'm a player or GM, and whilst it hasn't really come up because my girlfriend's not comfortable flirting I also have a hard "no" on her characters or NPCs flirting with mine - it just blurs the lines between the roleplay and reality a bit too much for me. anyone else is fare game, I've even run the NPC wife of a player's character before now.
    [end ramble]

  • @-Ditto300-
    @-Ditto300- 4 месяца назад +1

    Hardest line I've heard today 19:43

  • @briangang3977
    @briangang3977 4 месяца назад +1

    Brian gang, rise up an welcome Crit back!

  • @AutumnMacGregor
    @AutumnMacGregor 4 месяца назад +1

    Oh gods, this hurts 😭😭 I play in an 18+ campaign with sexual stuff being very encouraged, and that somehow makes it even harder to listen to 😅
    Seducing guards is possible and appropriate in the campaign, but at the same time, if you aren't smart about it then it'll go very badly for you 🤣🤣

  • @jameswilmshurst6973
    @jameswilmshurst6973 4 месяца назад +1

    I do like that the OP wished the DM of his horror story well at the end of his post despite how bad the DM was acting.
    Something tells me that DM was probably struggling in some parts of his life and was coping with that very poorly, I'll be honest... I've been there although not in this extreme of a situation.
    Not that I am excusing this DMs behaviour, but I hope his life can improve so that he can make better choices and act better to those around him

  • @davariusjessup3943
    @davariusjessup3943 4 месяца назад +1

    Reminds me of this one college weekend. We visited our DM friend at another campus and the DM had this older gay roommate in his late 20s, early 30s. Most of my friends were between 16 and 18 at the time. It was the south, it was hot our youngest friend Brent spent most of his time walking around shirtless in shorts. Brent had no idea the roommate was gay. When Brent left the room the gay roommate turned to us and said, "If Brent and I were alone and he was willing, he could have all the sex he ever wanted." Kind creepy given the age difference but at least he still wanted Brent to be willing. Over the weekend visit the guy kept trying to drop hints to Brent but Brent was completely oblivious because he was a conservative guy who had never met anyone who was gay before. Being the juvenile bstards that we were, on the way home we told Brent someone at the college was hot for him, just not who we only told him that given the chance he could have had all the sex he ever wanted.

  • @gecko2.617
    @gecko2.617 4 месяца назад +1

    Finally, our lord and savior, the king of crabs, master of the horror stories and critical successes, CritCrab has returned with a new story! ❤

  • @TheFatalcrest
    @TheFatalcrest 4 месяца назад +1

    XD 10:31 i paused to steel my soul for the horrors i must endure.

  • @Random_Chiroptera
    @Random_Chiroptera 4 месяца назад +1

    The purpose of D&D? To explore a good story of adventure and friendship.

  • @pabloanchondo3051
    @pabloanchondo3051 4 месяца назад +1

    Watching these videos some how make me want to try dnd, sadly there's nowhere where I can
    Good content tho, of course and welcome back

  • @kiddkasket5305
    @kiddkasket5305 4 месяца назад +2

    Oh no. The title tells me I'm not prepared 😬

  • @RQS321
    @RQS321 4 месяца назад +1

    There is so much Trouble here they may as well be playing the in Terrible Troubles in Tragedore campaign.

  • @darkwaterseraphim
    @darkwaterseraphim 25 дней назад

    Player/DM's partner + a queer person - there was no excuse for Trouble's behavior. If a player dating the DM can't taking having behavior criticized or a talking to about predatory actions, then they need to be booted and the DM needs to consider a new partner. I've been talked to about my behaviors, and I've sought to improve how I operate. I'm glad I created a space where others could address their issues with me and that I've taken steps to be a better player, partner, and friend.

  • @DiXtionRap
    @DiXtionRap Месяц назад

    While it could come of like a repative anime trope, if you had an exceptionally funny player and DM where the player character's schtick was being shut down brutally it could possibly work, the shock of hitting a nat 20 and the absurd things they could come up with as the result in contrast to every failure

  • @MaybeAnnatar
    @MaybeAnnatar 4 месяца назад

    Thinking about how in the last game I played in I knew another PC would try to romance my PC so I made her canonically 16 and a lesbian just to avoid it.

  • @trublgrl
    @trublgrl 4 месяца назад

    "Trouble" is going to come out as "trans" one of these days, even though he plainly HATES women.
    I'm not going to be the one to tell him.

  • @CocoWantsACracker
    @CocoWantsACracker 4 месяца назад +42

    If there are minors at the table, I feel seduction should be banned from the table by the DM at session zero.
    I'm a guy who frequently plays female characters, because for some reason my roleplaying is more accurate for females than males, whether I play a con artist bard, a righteous fighter or a disrespectful thief. Whenever I hear about a male player making a female character to live out some sexual fantasy, it bothers me, especially when nobody at their table wants them to. I feel people like them make others suspicious of me when I say I tend to play female characters. Fortunately, two of my three groups treat my characters hardly any differently than if they were male, and I managed to educate the other group by telling them TWICE that I was not OK with their SA roleplay and it was a hard limit for me.

    • @icelessgreen6160
      @icelessgreen6160 4 месяца назад +8

      I remember the first time I played as a woman in dnd and the *concern* I heard in other players voices when they asked "oh you're playing a woman?"
      Thankfully this went away when I explained my PC was a granny getting back into the adventuring life after many years, and not some awful fantasy, but I still remember how they sounded

    • @emirsoysal9364
      @emirsoysal9364 3 месяца назад +4

      %80 of my characters are female as a male player, never had a problem with another player. And luckily one player asked if its okay if his character tried to flirt with her. That’s communication and must happen on every table.
      Additionally, i never tried to seduce an NPC or PC. This is DND not doki doki literature club 😂

    • @Max_G4
      @Max_G4 Месяц назад

      ​@@emirsoysal9364 I agree on the communication part. But judging by the last sentence, you probably haven't played Doki Doki Literature Club if you say that like it's a Dating Sim.

    • @emirsoysal9364
      @emirsoysal9364 Месяц назад

      @@Max_G4 i played, yes it’s not just a dating sim it is “creepy dating horror” which a DnD game could turn into 😅

  • @Ben-zr4ho
    @Ben-zr4ho 4 месяца назад +1

    My dogs name is Trouble. His antics are next level as well...
    He doesnt hump the couch nearly as much though.

    • @oo-vivian
      @oo-vivian 4 месяца назад

      Does he hit on underage couches?

  • @Tsuchiyomi
    @Tsuchiyomi Месяц назад

    ".. a 14 y/o boy"
    Me: oh noooo
    "... seduces the guard"
    Me: *wipes nervous sweat from brow*
    Edit:
    "... just turned 17"
    Me: NOOOOOO
    Edit 2:
    f u c k

  • @pyrosianheir
    @pyrosianheir 4 месяца назад

    Crab King, my liege! Thank you for the fun, cringy (the people in the stories, not you) video!
    The first one, it is bad to try to hit on EVERY character, NPC or PC, but using it -- oh, no, that's the woooorst. I was going to try to defend Trouble, but... damn.

  • @LemurFrenzy212
    @LemurFrenzy212 4 месяца назад

    Honestly, at first I thought Trouble was making it some weird sex thing for him and his partner DM but it sounded as though DM was just as uncomfortable with his BF doing all this. Seriously I would have had a MAJOR conversation the first time he started making people uncomfortable. Sometimes the overly horny guy thing can be funny if they're doing it in a joking fashion, SO LONG as they are NOT making other people uncomfortable. Any in game relations should be agreed upon beforehand, or at least shown approval during, the second anyone turns the other down you should just stop, and that goes for out of game flirting too!
    The second story was just plain funny though, trying to meta saying what her character should feel towards another is stupid, and her response was the perfect F-you moment.

  • @Shotty_Gamer
    @Shotty_Gamer 3 месяца назад

    See, I'm confused as to how the DM lets HIS BOYFRIEND flirt with others. Yes, it's roleplaying as fantasy characters, but what the fuck

  • @angycat4262
    @angycat4262 4 месяца назад

    I never actually tried flirting with anyone, I'm just friendly but they think I'm flirting😟in my current relationship my partners think i'm flirting but i'm just saying what I genuinely feel, guess I'm naturally firty

  • @NekomaruOfTheOcean
    @NekomaruOfTheOcean 4 месяца назад

    So, my main D&D character is essentially the same overly sexuall mess that Troubles character was. It can work, but only if you are self aware, which trouble was not. Wether your charcter knows it, you as player need to know that you're not some "alluring seductress", you're playing a desperate cringey person who puts to much value into her sensuality, wether this works in universe or not. It works even better if you don't play it too straight, and don't take it too serious, both of which trouble did. This leads to cringey moments of him not getting the hint despite rolling a 9 in seduction, and not stopping when the sings are up.
    If done right, this can lead to both great successes where youseduce the important NPC and save youre party time or trouble, or to great comedy when you fail (I tried to seduce a tattoo artist to lower the price of my magic tattoo, hes told me my breath smells of onions because i failed the check and just ate onions. one of the funniest moments in the campaign). However this only works if you know what you're doing and that you could fail at any moment you try, and trouble lacked said awareness.
    Also, as an aside, passive narration is your friend. Unless you're really good wth words and voices, you don't need to Roleplay every cringey pickup line in first person.

  • @Rotten_Prince
    @Rotten_Prince 3 месяца назад

    First story reminded me of my group a bit lmao
    We all try to seduce everyone and EVERYTHING (of consenting age) on sight
    One of the other DMs and me are together, yet somehow the group flirts more with him than me lol
    We are an all men group

  • @AlastorNahIdWinRadioDemon
    @AlastorNahIdWinRadioDemon 2 месяца назад

    My solution to this problem? Dont have both adults and teenagers as players at the same table. The games either all teenagers, or all adults, and if im DM'ing for the first grouo I'm trying to keep sex out of the campaign as much as possible in general. Easy fix. This is the DMs fault partually for allowing both kids and adults at the table together.
    Edit: I am fully willing to judge and if my partner ever even insinuated liking children in that way, its over. They're lucky its not worse than over, honestly. I will personally figure out whos shit is whos and throw them out with everything their money bought, even any gifts bought for me because I don't want anything bought with their p*do money. Luckily I know my wife hates that shit as much as I do, if not mor so, so this will never happen, but the point stands that if i had been with someone who would, there is no making that shit work. Period.

  • @InnivoasSazr
    @InnivoasSazr 4 месяца назад +1

    im happy for art and jen. best dnd love story iv seen in a while

  • @InactiveNight
    @InactiveNight 3 месяца назад

    Why didn't he just flirt with his actual gf inbetween sessions or atleast try and make the flirting with NPCs something your significant other might enjoy and actually be okay with doing in public, that way it's still appropriate for everyone and you and your significant other get some spice for your relationship, plenty of couples play as "characters" and reseduce each other it's actually quite healthy for relationships to, with mutual understanding and such

  • @windyrockbell3814
    @windyrockbell3814 Месяц назад

    It's interesting how many Bad DM stories could theoretically be reversed to compelling stories. Imagining a good DM doing a "The BBEG is obsessed with this character and will be super mad to find out she's flirting with someone else."