JOYLUCKCLUB Gender

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  • Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 145

  • @BFP2021
    @BFP2021 10 лет назад +401

    the problem is that he doesn't treat the marriage like a loving relationnship. he treats it like a business partnership and all about money and being equal partners but emotionally cold at the same time.

    • @VelvetGal5
      @VelvetGal5 10 лет назад +27

      Yes, I agree with you. This husband treated the relationship like a cold business transaction. He wasn't loving, warm, affectionate, compassionate, empathetic, nice, emotional, romantic, etc. Great relationships are about showing generosity, warmth, sharing of nice things & compliments, positive affirmations, encouragement, strength, respect, affection, love, expressions & demonstrations of love & emotion, good acts & gestures, etc. Most women would be sad, frustrated, disappointed, & angry if they were stuck in some relationship where the partner was clueless, aloof, cold, distant, in control, rigid, uptight, etc. This "Joy Luck Club" movie is great, & is one of my all time favorite movies. Happy Holidays, & I wish you a good 2015! :-)

    • @jonathanakerele8006
      @jonathanakerele8006 8 лет назад +10

      Definitely digging your user name with the Dragon Ball Z reference to Trunks. Too cool. Anyway, you're right. The relationship here is all about manipulation and control. There's just no violent element to it but it's still just as destructive. It's emotional abuse as Harold doesn't care about what Lena wants or how to help her feel like she has a say in things. Harold takes his role as husband to mean he can be a tyrant and Lena is his servant. He's forgotten or never learned that marriage (like basketball) is about teamwork. The pair has to be in sync with each other and talk through their mental differences so each side feels heard rather than engage in the spousal bullying that often leads to resentment and divorce which can be especially painful if there are children involved.

    • @jedioutcast905
      @jedioutcast905 6 лет назад +14

      Yeah it was like they weren't married, weren't lovers. Just business partners. He didnt know how to have a personal life.

    • @usssanjacinto1
      @usssanjacinto1 6 лет назад +3

      He thinks its a collaboration.

    • @PungiFungi
      @PungiFungi 5 лет назад +5

      Well, can you blame him? It's Gender equality.

  • @92ChatNoir92
    @92ChatNoir92 Год назад +46

    This man made my blood boil like the heat of 10,000 suns

  • @RLviddy
    @RLviddy 10 лет назад +259

    She wanted a loving husband. He was emotionally abusive, selfish and clueless. And cold. This movie is about people who know each other because they learned strength. It's not about bad Asian men. Imho it's about how people congregate as friends and family because they recognize what they have been through and learned, and what remains to be learned.

    • @VelvetGal5
      @VelvetGal5 10 лет назад +9

      RL viddy, you pretty much summed up how I feel & what I think about this scene, her relationship with her husband, & what "The Joy Luck Club" story was mostly about. I couldn't have said it better myself. Anyways, the movie & book were excellent. And it's very sad when an individual is clueless, aloof, cold, selfish, & emotionally distant, controlling, abusive, etc. I felt sorry for her. Anyways, this movie is about the women finding their inner strength & courage. Have a nice Holidays, & a good 2015! :-)

    • @santiagonavarro125
      @santiagonavarro125 5 лет назад

      He closed the window.

    • @abandonedfragmentofhope5415
      @abandonedfragmentofhope5415 4 года назад +7

      I get that myself. It's just unfortunate that the only successful relationships with the female characters are with White men and there wasn't one with an Asian guy except Lena's second husband but unlike the relationships with the White guys it wasn't elaborated on. Beyond that I know that the story's main focus is about maternal sacrifice and it's a great and worthy theme.

    • @m-bronte
      @m-bronte 4 года назад +3

      @@abandonedfragmentofhope5415 The men are not the primary focus of this film. It's about the women who endure "Roles"! Historically woman assume roles depending on where they are in society. With our families, out in public, at work, we transform ourselves to fit roles. And I don't see a difference between that and the cyborgs in literature. This was a excellent film about women loosening the hypothetical dog leash they wear most of there lives.

    • @sallieceelee5660
      @sallieceelee5660 3 года назад +3

      In my opinion, Harold was not mean. He was just clueless and not emotionally aware. Not everyone crave constant approval and reassurance (or realize other people need it). So if she felt she was not getting it, why didn't she just communicate clearly with Harold about it rather than throw a hissy fit?

  • @trishachokshi8414
    @trishachokshi8414 Год назад +19

    I think it’s telling that he doesn’t describe what the marriage is based on. He’s fine with the transactional nature of their marriage and didn’t expect or want a loving equal partnership.

  • @rodneydodson7676
    @rodneydodson7676 10 лет назад +136

    You don't get involved with someone for the long run assuming you can "change them." You'll be miserable.

    • @shrapnel77
      @shrapnel77 8 лет назад

      Sounds nice for you. What about him?

    • @job2689
      @job2689 5 лет назад +2

      it should be mutual. what are each partner's wants and needs? can the partners fulfill those needs for each other? in this case, the wife needs warmth and love. but this guy is cold. they don't belong together.

    • @sallieceelee5660
      @sallieceelee5660 3 года назад +2

      @@job2689 "the wife needs warmth and love. but this guy is cold." So why did she settle with him? And why did she suggest they be equal to begin with, if that is not what she wants? And when she was not happy with the situation, why did she not just say it. In my opinion, Harold was not mean. He was just clueless and not emotionally aware. Not everyone crave constant approval and reassurance (or realize other people need it). So if she felt she was not getting it, why didn't she just communicate clearly with Harold about it rather than throw a hissy fit?

  • @frankstoeknife3685
    @frankstoeknife3685 4 года назад +42

    I’m sorry but it’s always made me laugh the way he says “what’s going on?” This movie brings back so much for me, an all time favorite among thousands

  • @GIGI_NYC
    @GIGI_NYC 5 лет назад +52

    Omg I couldn’t stand this guy!!!! So glad her mom gave her strength ❤️

  • @Zeb1245
    @Zeb1245 8 лет назад +140

    In the book, Lena's husband is a white guy and she suffered from an eating disorder.

    • @jonathanakerele8006
      @jonathanakerele8006 8 лет назад +22

      That's very interesting. Given how callous Harold is in this scene in the film, I imagine Lena's eating disorder would likely be a way for her to "stuff" the pain rather than openly confront Harold about it since she's convinced he won't listen. So rather than cry about it to him, she'll find food to comfort herself and make his abuse more tolerable. Very sad. =(

    • @meow23
      @meow23 8 лет назад +8

      really? then i need to read the book but the movie is really good. well to me it is

    • @Zeb1245
      @Zeb1245 7 лет назад +39

      She had an eating disorder because she was always insecure about her weight back in middle school, and her husband's a white Jewish man.

    • @jedioutcast905
      @jedioutcast905 6 лет назад +9

      meow23 I don't remember it ever mentioned in the book whether he was white American or Chinese American, just that he was a control freak.

    • @autumnasters
      @autumnasters 6 лет назад +8

      Zen Ny Ba 8 that actually sounds more fitting TBH especially if you consider the time 1991

  • @meow23
    @meow23 10 лет назад +57

    she is the voice of Amy in futurama

    • @JanXD91
      @JanXD91 8 лет назад +14

      and Connie from King of the Hill

    • @Tornado1994
      @Tornado1994 6 лет назад +3

      The Husband is played by Character Actor Michael Paul Chan. Remember the Cheap Convenience Store owner in Falling Down with Michael Douglas? That's him.

    • @TheStacyfergie
      @TheStacyfergie 6 лет назад +4

      Julie from friends (:

    • @Jacksonrox13
      @Jacksonrox13 6 лет назад +1

      And Amy and Connie's mothers too.

  • @lovedichoreo1529
    @lovedichoreo1529 8 лет назад +34

    What each of them value in relationships
    How they view identity
    What each of their needs, desires, aspirations are
    What their relationship/marriage is based on
    How they handle their evolution as a couple and as individuals
    If he's a numbers guy he may view the world through quantifying things as a lens rather than focusing on his feelings and emotions(or even recognizing or valuing hers) His separation of his logic vs his emotions must make it difficult

  • @epcotman32
    @epcotman32 6 лет назад +31

    There are two types of bad marriages, abusive and controversial.

  • @kpbergey
    @kpbergey 5 лет назад +23

    He eats ice cream because he's cold

  • @m-bronte
    @m-bronte 4 года назад +8

    One of the best films :-)

  • @mjre748
    @mjre748 Год назад +5

    The feels of this scene... Gosh...

  • @christinasavannah7992
    @christinasavannah7992 3 года назад +15

    He was Passive Agressive.....with sarcasm.....i mean at least he aint beating her physically

  • @swtpuj
    @swtpuj 14 лет назад +20

    He's a bully. Poor girl, she needs to leave him, right away!

    • @sallieceelee5660
      @sallieceelee5660 3 года назад +6

      How did he bully her? Isn't it her who suggested for them to share everything equally in the beginning? If she doesn't want it, just communicate, rather than acting out signals which her husband obviously don't understand. Don't like something, say it. Don't give unclear hints because it just doesn't work.

    • @MartelLamar
      @MartelLamar 2 года назад

      You’re not serious?

  • @christ2664
    @christ2664 6 лет назад +41

    this movie scene is the reason i don't keep tabs in my relationship..if you want to get your girl something..just go for it!!

    • @job2689
      @job2689 5 лет назад +8

      it isn't about material things. she needs a man who is warm and caring. this guy is cold. they don't belong together.

    • @sallieceelee5660
      @sallieceelee5660 3 года назад

      @@job2689 So why did she went with him?

    • @ibm30rpg
      @ibm30rpg 3 года назад

      I mean... he did offer to pay for the cat fleas.

    • @ibm30rpg
      @ibm30rpg 3 года назад +5

      People like to get all sentimental about the guy paying for then woman's expenses until they're in the guys shoes seeing how much the woman spends without consideration.

  • @jyj1012
    @jyj1012 13 лет назад +10

    omg I didn't realize but didn't she play Ross' girl friend Julie before he got together with Rachel???l!!

  • @tmobileuhiistore2939
    @tmobileuhiistore2939 7 лет назад +14

    I love this movie

  • @mswong7434
    @mswong7434 6 лет назад +12

    It is about gender reactions and needs for marriages. The men usually come back home from work, enjoy the rewards from hunting and sit back relaxing in front of TV. Whereas for me, it is indirect indication for assurance, listening ears and affection for flowers, dinners, kisses and loves.

    • @mswong7434
      @mswong7434 6 лет назад +1

      Whereas, for women, it is an indication...

  • @WillScarlet16
    @WillScarlet16 5 лет назад +12

    I sort of hate to say this, but I think Lauren is a better actress than Ming.

  • @sha11235
    @sha11235 9 лет назад +8

    That husband looks familiar. I've seen him before. I will look his name up and I'm sure I'll know where.

  • @crazydestiny17
    @crazydestiny17 6 месяцев назад +1

    He was fucking that ice cream up! lol

  • @rkappra
    @rkappra 12 лет назад +15

    If this were a scene between two white people, no one would be saying it represented all white people, it was racist, or that the author hated men. Everyone would understand that this is one scene from one movie representing one type of relationship. So stop calling it racist, sexist, or unfair. It's a MOVIE!

    • @autumnasters
      @autumnasters 6 лет назад +3

      Che Chamigo white people run Hollywood they have all the representation in the world. Whenever you're dealing with a unflattering portrayals of minority groups that feed political narratives you're stumbling into oppressive territory

  • @Honeybees1005
    @Honeybees1005 2 года назад +2

    ah. she was on Friends. Ross's girlfriend from China.

  • @DangLao
    @DangLao Год назад +6

    50 50 isn't love or marriage its a divorce 🤷

    • @erikag7334
      @erikag7334 5 месяцев назад

      Yup! Ladies stay far far away from these type of men.

  • @MeowcatBissy
    @MeowcatBissy 12 лет назад +7

    He's Asian American, excuse you.

  • @KL-os2sr
    @KL-os2sr Год назад +3

    He’s displaying psychopathic traits

  • @LouAntonioGiordano
    @LouAntonioGiordano Месяц назад

    That’s the guy who played the corner store owner in “Falling Down”

  • @shawnn7502
    @shawnn7502 4 года назад +7

    Another great scene from a great movie.
    And that is one fine asian woman, and you need to do what it takes to keep her happy. Wake the eff up, man!

  • @supaspydamn
    @supaspydamn 6 лет назад +6

    Was he also in Batman and Robin?

  • @andrewcolinwilson1
    @andrewcolinwilson1 9 лет назад +51

    Harold is a jerk to Lena but at least he doesn't hit her like her mother's first husband did.

    • @kellidanielle3688
      @kellidanielle3688 8 лет назад +48

      +Andrew Wilson There are some things that are worse than physical abuse. A bruise can heal over time, but treating someone as an inferior or that their feelings, thoughts, wants, and opinions are worthless or of lesser value is much more damaging. All abuse is bad. Mental and emotional scars last a lot longer. Her husband in the film was a self centered asshole. People like that chose others with a low sense of value and they widdle away at whatever self esteem is left until they have a subservient robot as a partner. Women can do the same to men. My point is, if anyone feels they are living underneath someone else's control, albeit woman or man, they need to leave.

    • @kellidanielle3688
      @kellidanielle3688 8 лет назад +3

      +Kelli Danielle I know this comment was a year ago, but so what.

    • @Tornado1994
      @Tornado1994 6 лет назад

      Michael Paul Chan, the Korean Store Owner in Falling Down.

    • @TheStacyfergie
      @TheStacyfergie 6 лет назад +6

      Andrew Colin Wilson the bar is too low bud

  • @shadowfox1383
    @shadowfox1383 13 лет назад +2

    @TSM8088 Unfortuately, it is true that when men fail their women, their women are the ones that pay the price. To all you valiant men out there and the ones who want to be valiant, take the time to read Wild At Heart by John Eldrege and it will open your eyes to what you were born and called to be....

  • @blackleague212
    @blackleague212 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank god she got out of this cause it wasn’t for her… but he’s not a bad dude, he wanted a “partner”. I’ve had relationships like this before it’s cool.
    This generation likes too much toxic interactions, similar to her in this situation.

  • @Saoirseff
    @Saoirseff 12 лет назад +3

    @Dunkjrich23 --LOL--i think it has to do with both of the minds here,but it seems they are more like roommates than lovers.--

  • @donnyd6216
    @donnyd6216 11 месяцев назад

    People don’t change, only habits can change! The real person always comes out in the end.😢

  • @philbecker4676
    @philbecker4676 3 года назад +1

    Isn't that Amy from Futurama?

  • @ladennayoung2939
    @ladennayoung2939 3 года назад +6

    He was a loser. She was pretty.

  • @dancemaniac3868
    @dancemaniac3868 Год назад +2

    This guy is so condescending. She only married him because she was desperate to be loved, something she didn't get enough from her mother.

  • @newcheese8554
    @newcheese8554 8 лет назад +5

    the Asian guy from Seinfeld

  • @sha11235
    @sha11235 9 лет назад +2

    Wonder how Harold would like Ken Jennings on Jeopardy?

  • @mickymilk234
    @mickymilk234 10 лет назад +5

    I feel like i got man just like that now ;(

    • @GIGI_NYC
      @GIGI_NYC 5 лет назад +1

      Natwasa Namsom hope you got rid of him darling ❤️

    • @katefrank2859
      @katefrank2859 4 года назад +1

      Did it get resolved?

    • @mickymilk234
      @mickymilk234 4 года назад +5

      Katie Frank i did.

  • @byou5157
    @byou5157 2 года назад +6

    Ugh this guy reminds me of my ex bf

    • @eamonndeane587
      @eamonndeane587 2 года назад +2

      You have my Deepest sympathies if you had a relationship as unhealthy as this one.

    • @byou5157
      @byou5157 2 года назад +2

      @@eamonndeane587 unfortunately he was just like this guy. But it’s been 10 years I’m free.

    • @eamonndeane587
      @eamonndeane587 2 года назад +2

      @@byou5157 Thank Goodness.

  • @sherbournesubwaymess
    @sherbournesubwaymess 2 месяца назад

    Just then, he had a brainfart to start a convenience store selling cans of coke for 85 cents...

  • @aaronsrok3422
    @aaronsrok3422 3 года назад +2

    The moment he scoffs at her in the restroom I knew he was an asshole. I can't stand him.

  • @felix121984
    @felix121984 5 лет назад +5

    This movie is far superior to Crazy Rich Asians. Accurate portrayal of Asian Americans.

    • @shopgirl6183
      @shopgirl6183 4 года назад +6

      Cos Crazy, Rich Asians is about crazy-rich Chinese Singaporeans? Doh.

    • @eatshoe
      @eatshoe 4 года назад

      It was literally the only portrayal and no it’s not accurate.

  • @andrewcolinwilson
    @andrewcolinwilson 13 лет назад

    @swtpuj Yeah but at least Harold doesn't hit Lena just like when Lin Xiao hit Ying Ying.

    • @alexs6250
      @alexs6250 8 месяцев назад

      He would over time

  • @theclairebaire
    @theclairebaire 7 лет назад +13

    Asian Donald Trump...?

    • @GIGI_NYC
      @GIGI_NYC 5 лет назад

      Claire Baire ugh boring

  • @Porthos240
    @Porthos240 5 месяцев назад

    When you have no sense that marriage will warrant some kind of immediate loss, while the big picture will bring some harmony, then don't fkin ruin someone else's son/daughter's life. Be a Leo DiCaprio and let them to marry someone else.

  • @molokoid
    @molokoid 9 лет назад +13

    I would gouge that guy's eyes out and then feed them to the flea-infested cat. And then I would take his credit card and go buy some ice cream and put my feet on the table and watch Melrose Place.

    • @kevinperera9922
      @kevinperera9922 5 лет назад

      im dying hahaha

    • @Theofficial_LAMAR
      @Theofficial_LAMAR 5 лет назад

      Im sitting here dying of laughter lmao 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @chetdog
    @chetdog 2 года назад

    Monetising a relationship. This is so horrible.

  • @jonathanakerele8006
    @jonathanakerele8006 7 лет назад +6

    I get the feeling just from Harold's temper in this scene that if Lena hand't divorced him and they had ended up having kids that Harold would be somewhat of a tyrant taking his anger out on Linda and their kids. He wasn't physical with her in this scene it's clear from the dialogue that he sees her as property so it wouldn't surprise me if their marriage did consist of physical violence off camera and it wouldn't shock me if he went out of his way to impose a militant way of disciplining their kids (if they had any) not out of concern for the kid's well-being but rather to feed his wounded ego. Meaning that he would get joy and satisfaction from seeing Lena and their kids squirm at any "request" (a.k.a. demand) he made of them. So yeah, Harold is a controlling spouse who would surely be a controlling parent if they had ended up having kids together. I would bet that even off screen he maybe even had a high sex drive and pressured Lena to have sex with him when she didn't want to during their marriage. That would not surprise me either. =(

  • @harleenvirk5023
    @harleenvirk5023 2 месяца назад

    This is my ex, so gay

  • @softdrinkking
    @softdrinkking 3 года назад

    A hard-working man doesn't drink doesn't smoke but still not a good husband

  • @alexs6250
    @alexs6250 8 месяцев назад

    He is so controlling and abusive

  • @MartelLamar
    @MartelLamar 2 года назад +1

    Modern woman in a nutshell. Never happy, regardless of cooperation. You can’t make this ish up…

    • @actuary33
      @actuary33 Год назад +1

      You the one who wanted the cat!! Lollll

    • @MartelLamar
      @MartelLamar Год назад

      @@actuary33 no sir! I wouldn’t fight traffic for one of those type broads lol

  • @shrapnel77
    @shrapnel77 8 лет назад +5

    Women comment on here how this guy is supposed to be loving, caring and generous. That is the point at where emasculation starts. I do not agree with his cold calculating lists, but this guy stands up for himself and I would rather be that than emasculated, of which the female knows how to do all to well.