Things I'm Struggling With. Empty Nest Syndrome, Menopausal Weight Gain, Missing My Parents....
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2022
- Hi friends. I sincerely debated making this video and I have to admit, that I feel very vulnerable putting this out there. But I know we all struggle at certain times and for me, hearing about someone else’s struggles, always seems to make my own seem lighter. Thank you so much for watching!
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I think I'm the first man to comment? I've pretty much worked from home for the past 20+ years. I was here when they left for school, came home in the afternoons, went to dance, sports, etc. 3 of our 4 children have left the house and our youngest daughter graduates from high school Spring 2025 and I am dreading it so much!! I have been depressed since Fall 2022 when our 3rd child left for college out of state. I am a man, all man. . . yet, I feel like crying all of the time, I feel sad & lonely all of the time, and my life is fantastic!! I miss my young kids, the house full of energy. Most often, dinner time is my wife & I when we used to have a table of 6 every night. I know it's all part of growing older. If I didn't have a relationship with God, I would be so screwed.
Thank you for posting this Vid.
Hi Sonny. Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your experience with this! I could relate to so much of what you said and I think a lot of men feel this way too, but just don't share it. I imagine starting out with a large family, that it makes the quiet seem even more quiet as all your kids are flying the nest. I am coming up on 5 years of being an empty nester, so I've had time to adjust. But some days are still so uncomfortably quiet... I am glad you have a strong faith. That definitely helps!
Thanks again for leaving me this comment. I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much for this. Everything you said is what I'm going through. I made my husband watch so maybe he understands my emotions. Sometimes I'm in such a mess I try to hide it all and then break down when his out of the house.
❤❤❤
If this helped you to feel less alone, that makes me happy. This can be such a tricky phase and I just want you to know that I, and so many other women understand. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate it. Sending ((hugs))❤️
Motivation issue is part of Menopause too. Baby steps. Do one little project a day....You don't need to apologize Menopause is tough!!!!!
You are so incredibly kind! You know that right?? Thank for your understanding and encouragement ❤️
I know exactly how you feel. Thank you for speaking out. I find myself missing my 3 boys so much. When I see moms out with their children, I get jealous. I yearn to have my kids young and at home again. I cry daily. Your video helped me. Thank you. Oh my name is Sheila Clary
Hi Shiela. Fellow “boy mom” here too! I too have those days of wishing to go back when they were young. Even though it was hectic and busy, I miss that energy. So much of my life I was a “Mom” and yes I still am, but obviously being a mom to older kids is so different. It’s an adjustment to make for sure. I’m happy you found my video and that you could relate. And I hope you know you’re not alone. I can completely understand how you feel.
Thank you for watching and taking the time to share with me. I truly appreciate it❤️
My son just moved out of our house today with two of our fur babies (cats). I'm going to miss all of them. My son is my heart beat! At the same time I'm going through horrific perimenopause with hormones that make me so emotional for no reason, my health is declining with debilitating autoimmune disease, I realize after being a mom full time for so many years that I don't know who I am and I'm not looking forward to tomorrow morning when I'm totally alone and the quiet after my husband goes to work. I have no siblings or other family, so it's just me. My mother whom was my best friend on this earth died when I was 35 in 2013 after I cared for her for 8 1/2 years with cancer. It was grueling to see my mother go through so much and then she was just gone. My father passed in 2021, but I did not have a good relationship with him, but I still love him and miss him. I wish I had my Mom sooooo many times, but especially today. I can't stop crying I'm missing my son.
I'm 46 now and at a big crossroad. A new chapter in my life, but thankfully I do have a wonderful loving supportive husband. I really appreciate that. My mother had to go through this stage in life when I left home, completely alone. My parents divorced when I was a child. I do not know how she did it and I wish I had her here to console me. This would be so much easier if she were here and what I would give to hug her just one more time! So now I'm a mess grieving the last chapter of my life and reflecting at all the loss, mistakes, mortality, and memories, but reminding myself of all that I have to gain in the future.
Lots of changes this year. We're selling the house we raised our son in after living here 24 years. I too see all the memories everywhere and it's going to be so hard to leave. My last memories with my mother are here too.
I also love my mother in law. I'm very lucky! Sadly she's now battling cancer as well. She's the last parent we have. My father in law died in 2018. You really start to think of your own mortality and making each day count.
I guess my job is now discovering who I am and enjoying the freedom with my husband. Thank you for sharing your story. You're not alone. I relate so much. ❤️
Oh Sarah, reading your comments just made my heart hurt, because I could relate to so much. So much change and loss in this time of life. I think you are absolutely right that focusing on who you are now and enjoying this time with your husband will help this transition immensely. I can say that, because that is exactly what I am trying to do.
I hope reading all the other comments on here helped you to feel less alone. I know it did for me.
Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate it!
Sending ((hugs))❤️
I know this video has been up over a year, but I found it today and have to say “thank you!” Your transparency and honesty is so helpful. I too mourn my kids’ childhoods being over and struggle with guilt over the moments I was not the best mom, or wished time away when they were small. It feels like I would give a great deal now to have one of those sweet and exhausting toddler days to live again. I think this is an adjustment season to work through but hearing someone else voice the same feelings is incredibly helpful.
Hi! That really means a lot! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this comment.
I too would love to go back to a "crazy" toddler day to live it again, and just knowing how quickly it all goes by, do it A LOT differently. Oh well... instead of beating ourselves up, I am just focusing on all the sweetness life is offering me right now. I hope you are having those moments now too.
Thanks again for sharing this with me. I really appreciate it❤️
The empty nest hit me hard, too, Tina. I feel extremely guilty at the times I was impatient hoping they would hurry and get out of a certain stage. Wish I could go back now. Don’t worry about the projects. The to-do list will always be there and give you things to work on when you feel like tackling them. (I miss my mom,too. Really badly some days) Your subscribers are leaving very kind comments. I hope you can find some comfort in them! Take care!!!
Hi Lynne. Reading your comment, I know you get exactly how I feel. And can I say I’m a little overwhelmed with all the kindness! I am definitely feeling the love and you are absolutely a part of that. Just putting this out there I feel so much lighter!
Thank you always for being so incredibly kind. It truly means a lot❤️
I think there are very few moms that didn’t look forward to bedtime. Tina please give yourself some grace, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I totally understand missing your kids. I live in Iowa and my two adult girls live in Texas and Sydney Australia. I haven’t seen my daughter in Australia since 2019. Thank goodness for FaceTime. Please give yourself some grace.
Hi Sheila. Thank you. Sincerely thank you.
Can you imagine not having FaceTime?? It is so much better than a phone call. It has to be so hard going so long not “seeing” your daughter in Australia. Sending ((hugs))
Thank you again for the kind words. I hope you have a great day❤️
Thank you for being so real. We need more of that!
I so appreciate you saying that! I try to really make my channel a positive, uplifting space and I really debated about even uploading this video at all. But hearing so many that could relate and appreciated it, made it very worthwhile. So thank you!!
Hello there Tina. Sweet lady thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. So open and such sensitive information. But. You aren’t alone. You’ll be very shocked to learn how many of us women experience the same exact things as you are. I absolutely do too. I am 60 years old with no children left at home. Just my fur babies and thank god for them. I lost both my parents 5 years ago now and I lost them both in 60 days. Yes 60!days and poof they were gone. Yea I took care of them and looked out for them as they were still living in an apartment for elderly but I watched them fade away fast. But I wasn’t ready for them to leave me. I feel orphaned and so alone too. Some days the emptiness and that pain makes me cry and makes me sad then I have some better days. I have been menopausal now for 7 years and that was easy and smooth no real problems…. Until the hot flashes started and the crying and weight gain and depression it all hit like a freight train. Talk about lack of motivation huh!! Let me say I stare at what needs to be done most days. I have to literally just dig into my weekly house cleaning with no interest. I get that done. But as far as my zest to get up and go weed my gardens it go shopping has flown out the windows especially since I’ve been conditioned to stay home since covid. I don’t wanna go anywhere. Most times someone could say hey here’s $500 go shopping and have fun. I’d say nah not today. Ya know what I mean.? I am a RN by profession and have been off per doctors orders since Covid hit and am getting ready to start back to work soon and am scared I will be a slug at work. I’m used to hitttjng the floor running and never stop for 16 hours a day. Now I am wondering wether I can even hit the floor creeping along. Lol I haven’t rode my bike. I haven’t done any trail walking I haven’t been swimming all but twice this summer. I am sick of thinking what to cook for dinner. I don’t walk the dog anymore because it’s been soo hot here in Pennsylvania this summer. Even though I live in the country it’s just been a long hot lazy days for me. Heck all these clothing pieces I love and buy from the style boxes still have tags on them yet I am waiting for some magic dust to be sprinkled over me to get me kick started again. I wanna do a life rewind and be 30 years younger and appreciate raising my kids and having patience. But I guess we have a good life with wonderful children who are adults and so we literally have to take baby steps to adjust to our new season in life. It’s been hard for me to girl. You’re not alone. I’m right here with ya. I thought you addressed what most of us middle age women deal with daily. Thanks for sharing your heart. See you next video. 🤗
Hi Susan. Reading your comment made me just want to reach out and give you a hug. I can not even begin to imagine how hard it must have been to lose your parents so close together.... that is so heartbreaking... I am so sorry.
I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you took the time to share this. I guess if anything, there is comfort in knowing that others understand.
Thank you again. Sending love and hugs!
Hi Tina. My heart goes out to you because it seems like you might be over thinking about some things. I am not a mom but as a child I can tell you, my mom was hard on us at times and trust me I appreciate and respect her so much because it had to be difficult raising us. Trust me, your sons are thankful that they had such an amazing mom & you shaped them into the responsible adults they are. Weight gain is normal as we age. Trust me, I eat a fraction of what most people do and yet have always struggled with weight. You look beautiful so don't beat yourself up. Lastly, I miss my mom everyday but just tell myself it would be selfish for me to want her still here because she would be almost 100 and maybe not healthy. It's normal to want to hug, talk to and miss them. You have a lot of idle time now so don't let it cause you to over think about life & moments. It's so easy to do ( trust me, I personally know). Love and prayers to you my sweet friend. 🤗💕🙏🏾
Oh Linda, you are probably right. I know I overthink things! It’s funny how much lighter I feel just after making this video and then reading all of the kind comments. I know you know how wonderful these RUclips communities can be!
I consider you one of my close “work friends”. Thanks for always making me smile❤️
I cried with you during this video. I share some of the same sentiments. And I have my parents here and although we don’t get a long 100% of the time you helped me realize that their time is closer than I realize. The thing you mentioned about your kids and how you wish you could redo certain times, that hit hard for me. Thank you for this video.
Hi Jasmine. Thank you for understanding exactly what I was trying to say in this video. Uploading this video, you have no idea how many times I went back and forth on whether I should do it or not??? But overall, I think the comments I have received has eased my fears on being so vulnerable on the internet. It was such a comforting feeling reading all the comments from other women our age who felt the same way. I really hope you have gotten some comfort from that as well.
Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to leave me a comment. And I hope you have a wonderful day!
I'm so happy I found your channel and this video. It's so hard to talk about our feelings and be so vulnerable behind the camera, but your audience is watching and saying "I absolutely relate and know how you feel" (especially those of us who are empty nesters and who are grieving losses) Thank you Tina for sharing.
HI there. I almost did not release this video, and now, I am so glad I did. Feeling the support and connection from so many other women, just blew me away! It just helps so much knowing we are not alone in the struggles that come with this stage of life. Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment. I truly appreciate it.
I completely relate and understand! It is hard making a life without our kiddos consuming all our time. You are not alone. ❤
Thank you for that! All the wonderful comments on this video have helped me and many other women feel less alone. 💕
I think what people who aren't going through this don't realize is that us empty nesters are often going through multiple things at once-loss of parents, missing our children, physical changes to our bodies including our energy levels and motivation. It feels like lots of loss at once and can feel daunting. Hang in there-and lean into prayer if you are able. I really miss my nurturing years.
Hi Maria. I agree completely with everything you said! You absolutely nailed it when you said you missed your nurturing years. I do too!! When I filmed this video, I had no idea how just hearing from other woman, how they could relate made me feel so much better! Your comment was filled with kindness and understanding. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave it. I truly appreciate it.
I hope you are hanging in there as well❤️
I know this video is from a year ago but I am so happy I found it. Thank you for opening up your heart. I really needed to hear everything you shared.
Hi Debbie! It really means a lot if this video was the tiniest bit helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this comment. I truly appreciate it! ((hugs))
As a Mom of 4 boys , I totally understand. When they all left home my husband and I hated the quiet , it was deafening . We all looked forward to bed time , but we also looked forward to the next morning . No body is a perfect mom , thankfully we get a second chance with grandkids . Being a parent is the hardest thing we ever do . If you feel bad about something , you can tell your kids you are sorry and probably they will tell you it’s fine ❤️ . You are a gorgeous beautiful woman . But I understand how you feel, because I have gained some weight too . I know what loss is because I lost my oldest child , but I’m not going to make this about me , God is the only reason I survived, and still survive … I really hope you find peace . I can only offer that you pray 🙏 . Don’t be sorry , thanks for sharing ♥️❤️
Oh Darleen…. My heart breaks for you that you lost a child. I don’t think there could be anything worse… You obviously have such strong faith and I am so glad to hear how that has helped you❤️
Just making this video made me feel so much lighter and then reading all these beautiful comments. I’m completely blown away. And you are someone who ALWAYS has a kind word to say. It truly means so much❤️
I got teary eyed listening to you. We have a lot in common. I lost my sweet Daddy a few months ago and sometimes I think I’m OK and then sometimes I think about him and literally lose my breath. My husband and I are empty nesters (youngest is away at college), and he travels some for work, so I understand an empty house . Thank you for being so open about your feelings on motherhood. I dare say most of us have felt that way at one time or another. Blessings to you❤️
I am so sorry about your Dad. You described it perfectly with the “taking your breath away”. I know that feeling and for you right now, I know it must be happening a lot and I am so sorry for that. I know there is nothing I can do, but just want to send some ((hugs)) your way.
I hope you know how much your comment means to me. I know you get it, so thank you.
I hope today is filled with more smiles than tears❤️
Tina, I’m listening putting on my makeup. I had to stop 😢. You are going through exactly what I am with so many things. Thank you for speaking your truth. It does make me feel so much better also. ❤️
Hi Elizabeth. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. I really hoped that if anyone else was struggling with some of these things, it would help even just a little knowing that someone else understands.
Thanks for your comment. I hope you have a great day❤️
I’m actually going through this right now my daughter 22 years old just got her apartment and as I’m happy for her I’m also sad for myself and I feel like all my feelings won’t allow me to be fully happy. Her and I are so close, and I feel like the bond is going to be broken due to her busy life and her having a partner. my mom six years ago and I miss her so much. I wish I can share my thoughts with her in this moment about her grandchild moving. It was nice to click on this video and see so many others that are going through the same emotions and thank you for sharing yours. all I’m asking is this community to pray for me that I will overcome this whirlwind of emotions
My heart was going out to you when I was reading your comment... Sending you all the good thoughts to help you through this life transition ❤️ ((hugs))
Yes yes and yes. My first child just left for college at 21. I still have one at home who is about to start college. I am 54 and an elementary school teacher for the last 25 years. I am fine with the quiet, but I miss my son terribly. He has always been such a peaceful kid. His energy is just lovely. I’m also in menopause and getting used to the new ways I need to take care of my body. Last, I too miss my mom. She passed a few years ago and I wanted to share so many more things with her. With my many thoughts and feelings, and time, I am deciding to develop my creative self. So more crafting, more cooking, and starting my own RUclips channel, Beautiful Life Sage. I hope that telling the stories, like you did in this video, of my life in my 50s, can help other women going through transitional life stages. Thank you for this video and for creating this space. I appreciate you!❤🙏
I am so happy you could relate and hopefully feel less alone.
I am so excited for you starting your own channel!! I swear having my RUclips channel has been a huge blessing on something to really pour myself into that I enjoy. I hope you find the same with yours too. My email is always in the description box of my videos. If I can help you in any way while you are starting out, I would be more than happy to share anything I have learned along the way with you!!
Good luck on the next phase and please let me know when your channel is live so I can subscribe!!❤️
Thank you for being transparent. Some of us didn’t have a great relationship with our parents and there’s a lifetime of pain around that. We miss the parents we never had. I became an empty nester during Covid. I cried walking through the mall where my daughter and I enjoyed shopping together and am still working through the sadness. Im glad you made this video. It’s good to know our struggle is universal and good to see another being honest with their feelings. Thank you. I genuinely feel your pain ❤
I totally agree that even if our experiences aren’t completely the same, there is comfort in knowing that we all struggle at times. I hope you still get those “mall” days with your daughter every now and then. I know I loved doing that with my Mom.
Thanks for taking the time to leave me a comment. I really appreciate it💕
Please don't feel like you need to apologize for getting emotional. Most of us watching are struggling with the same feelings or we wouldn't have clicked on your video. I feel so lost without my boys, both who are grown and doing incredibly great. I should be happy, right? Instead, I sit and cry in despair at times. I too reflect on my failings as a parent. I was a single mom who was just trying to make ends meet. I was often exhausted and stressed. I never new how difficult this new stage in life would be. I saw a quote earlier that said, "loneliness is having a story and having no one with whom to share it." Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable. It helps to know that I am not the only woman who isn't enjoying this long awaited freedom.
Hi Leah. Fellow “boy mom” here and I’m sorry you are struggling. I’ve been reflecting on this and really feel like those of us whose main identity for most of our adult life has been “Mom”, it’s such a hard transition to make. Yes, we’re still Mom’s but the role definitely shifts. It’s just not an easy shift to make! I’m glad your boys are living their best lives. That means you did an awesome job!
Know you’re not alone.
I hope today you have some reasons to smile❤️
I just LOVE this woman because her mission is to make people smile!
Her authenticity is AMAZING.
What’s not to love??? 💗💗💗
You have no idea how you brightened my day!!
Thank you for the smile❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife💕💕💕
Oh my heart!!! My sweet friend….a HUGE HUG being sent from Missouri to you in Illinois!!!! I hope you can feel it, I really do!!!! Girl, first off we ALL have moments we were not our best as Moms. That’s completely normal. Give yourself some Grace there be some who is perfect? NO ONE! You are such a beautiful, caring and loving person!!!! You are an awesome Mom. We all have that guilt because we were all young, tired and impatient at times. I will never be an empty nester, thus I yearn at times for what that would be like. I believe it’s our nature as humans to want what we don’t have at the time. Again, totally normal. The loss and void you feel about your parents just proves what a great relationship you had! You will be reunited with them someday and you will rejoice! They are with you always! Grief is the price we pay for love. The deeper the grief, the depth of the love. I struggle with unspeakable grief still over my Papa (who I lost 31 years ago) but I would rather feel that pain than not to have experienced that kind of unconditional love in my life. I was so blessed, as were you. But, I understand!!! The weight gain is normal too for us “menopausal” girlies! I have been a size 3 - 24! I also LOVE to eat (HUGE FOODIE). You will find what works for you. I am so grateful I found something working for me. It’s not just a “diet”, it’s a new normal that we have to learn. Nutrition is so important to all aspects of our life, not just weight. I’ve been learning so much. You have my email as well, so don’t ever hesitate to send me one. Heck, we can trade phone numbers for that matter and really chat! Can you even imagine how long those phone conversations would be? 😂 I love you Girl! I’m sorry you’re struggling. I do think we get so much more emotional during menopause. As if you & I need to be any more emotional, right!? You bring smiles to my day and I look forward to all your videos my friend!!!! Have a good cry, watch a fave movie, eat (a little) ice cream and then dust yourself off, head up and move forward. I’m struggling with motivation too by the way (again, I think it’s menopausal). When I feel overwhelmed (you should see the condition my home is in) I remind myself I’m looking at the entire elephant again. That’s exhausting. I reset my mind to focus instead on taking a small bite out of the elephant, then another and after time you’ve devoured that elephant! Much love ❤️ 💕 💗
Sweet Sherry! I’m going to email in more detail later, but you know I consider you a true friend, and thank you, thank you, thank you for always making me smile. Much love right back at ya girlfriend ❤️
Oh Tina. Don't apologize for feeling the way you do and I appreciate you sharing. You are not alone! So many of us feel the same as you. With regard to you thinking back on your early mothering years... My 25 year old has been out of the house for 3 year's now (not really counting college because he was home during breaks and holidays). Even with one child I feel guilty about wanting "me" time when he was little. Or when I yelled at him or I wasn't the best mom (what is the BEST mom anyway?). I wish there were days I could go back...but having a good relationship with your boys as adults is worth it's weight in gold.
I could go on and on about what you talked about but let me just say---Please don't apologize for how you feel about being a mom, menopause, and missing your parents. It's healthy to let our feelings out and if it helps to share here that's wonderful. You have likely helped other's feel not so alone. I validate your feelings and just wish I could send you a hug. One day at a time friend, one day at a time.
Of course you would say all the right things!! You already know I feel such a connection and friendship with you and then you sharing about your “Mom guilt” moments, of course makes me feel completely understood.
Sallie, you are truly such a kind person. I am so blessed to have you for a friend. Thank you!
I hope you have really great day❤️
This was helpful to me. Hearing you is helping me feel normal. I relate!
I am glad that it was Valerie. You are definitely not alone. ((hugs))❤️
I think mom guilt is never ending! I understand completely. My youngest goes to college in the Fall and I’m already bracing myself and reminiscing about the good the bad and the ugly. I have great kids too! I think these feelings are very normal but it’s still not easy at all 😢 Happy to have found your channel! Hugs! (There is some science suggesting IF is not great for some women as it raises cortisol levels).
Hi Kristen! Hearing your youngest is leaving for school in the fall, made me think back to all the reminiscing I did before my youngest left. Oh I can relate! I am 5 years into this empty nest thing, and although there are times I would do anything to go back to when they were younger living here, I am just focusing on the now and how lucky I really am. I have close relationships with both my boys and they live close enough that I still get to see them. I guess time does really help.
Thank you for leaving me this nice comment and I am sending you the ((hugs)) right back as you prepare for the fall.❤️
Thank you for this. I can tell you are a genuine, kind, empathic person and we all share these struggles right along with you. I truly admire your strength to be vulnerable in this video. I lost my wonderful husband 13 years ago but not a day goes by when I don't think of him and miss him terribly. It is a comfort to know we are not alone. Hugs and thank you Tina.
I am so sorry you lost your husband...I can't even imagine the pain...
After making this video, I felt so much "lighter" and then was absolutely blown away by the love and kindness I encountered. You are right. There is definitely comfort in knowing we are not alone. Thank you for taking the time to share with me. I truly appreciate it. Hugs right back!
Menopause is a pain. I gained 10 lbs in Menopause and exercise and diet doesn't help much. I've had to accept the new me. I do limit carbs and that works the best. Be kind to yourself during Menopause because it's not easy.
It surely does change everything doesn’t it??
Thank you for being so brave. SO much of what you spoke about I am struggling with, too. I hope things get better for you soon.
Hi Tosha. It is crazy how much lighter I feel having just made this video. I hope your struggles ease up too. For me, there certainly is a lot of comfort reading comments like yours and knowing you understand. Thank you.
I hope you have a great day❤️
Thank you so much for this video.....you literally spoke on absolutely everything I'm going through and feeling right now.....it does help to know that we all are in this together and it's so normal to feel these raw and real emotions....thank you again for sharing today❤
I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate your comment. I’m with you. Knowing that others are dealing with similar issues is a huge comfort to me. I love your comment about being in this “all together”. Absolutely love that.
Thank you so much for your sweet understanding comment.
Hoping you have a wonderful day❤️
Thank you so much for this video. I could really identify with what you’re going through.
Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment and sending ((hugs))
I'm glad you still have your husband. If you have a good relationship with him, you're good. I'm alone. I moved back to the city from the countryside because the isolation was overwhelming and when I got sick... it was very depressing.
I so sorry to hear you’re struggling. You are right, that I am lucky to have my husband. This time of life can be so challenging. I hope you are able to find some happiness. Sending love❤️
Thank you for sharing, I understand and struggle too. I wish we could make an action list of things we can do at this age and stage to find a new sense of direction. I would love to know how I could work to feel the deep sadness coming and then have a cheat sheet to stop it. Knowing I am not alone is comforting. We need to tell our daughters about this stage coming upon them.
Hi Holly. Reading your comment, I completely agree that I wish we had a way of knowing those dark feelings were coming, to be prepared to head them off! I know for myself, that sometimes they can just creep up out of nowhere.
The love and sense of not feeling alone after making this video, has been nothing short of remarkable. I know for me personally, knowing other’s experience these same feelings really help.
If I had daughters, I would definitely talk to them about this stage of life. I wish I had talked to my Mom about it when she was here…
Thanks for taking the time to leave me this comment. I sincerely appreciate it and I wish you all the best💕
Awwww. I think we all must do that! I feel bad about so much too. Its so hard, because we know that our job kind of ended. And you wish you could fix everything and do it all perfect. But I don't think there is a parent that is 100% perfect. There might be? But most of us are not. And I bet you were a fabulous mom... huggs! My daughter just left, and I am sad, second year moving to another city for her degree. I am not as sad as last year, but I am crying right now.. as she just left! I hate the quiet too! This is so hard for us moms. I bet this year you are in a much better place but happier listening to this as I know I am not the only one! thxs u :))
First off, I am sending virtual ((hugs)). Those drop offs and then coming home are not easy! But I agree, every year got a little easier.
I am doing really well (thank you so much for asking!!) and of course I still have some "low" days, but I am settling into this phase now and just trying to appreciate all the positive things in my life.
I hope your daughter has a wonderful year! One thing I remember was the fall going by very quickly and then having them home for Thanksgiving and the long winter break. I loved that!
Thank you so much for leaving me this incredibly sweet comment. You made me smile!
Thank you so much for sharing this honest and vulnerable message. I am really struggling with these same issues and it is a comfort to know there’s some normalcy in the experience. Bless you. ❤
I felt the same way reading all the comments that women left after watching my video. That we are not alone going through this. I’m so glad to know it helped you. ((Hugs))❤️
I can relate to all your thoughts. Empty nest and lost my mom in May. Thank you for sharing!
Oh Lisa, I’m so sorry about your Mom…. I know it is really hard right now. I hope you know I understand and I’m sending some ((hugs)) your way❤️
THANK YOU! for posting this I admire your strength! I stumbled over this video which is funny because I am 42 but starting to feel the exact same way, My only Son is 16 and never home as I am sure you have gone through so I am starting to process the emotions of him leaving as he gets older and the alone void I will need to Fill it's like you were speaking from my heart! YOU aren't alone just brave enough to talk about it. It's easier said than done but don't go back sounds like your relationship with your kiddos is strong and for that you did an amazing job, I don't know about you but I never got a manual on how to do all this either, don't take that on! Blessings to you again for posting this vulnrable video more of us need this type of RELEASE! Hope you are feeling the support! ~Sincerely NEW sub!
Hi Kortney! First off, thank you for subscribing, but more importantly, thank you for taking the time to leave this comment. Reading your comment, I realize that the teenage years, when they are always on the go, is probably designed to prepare us for when they finally fly the coop! I can completely relate to how you are feeling.
You are right that my relationship with both my sons is strong and for that I am so grateful. I think being a "boy mom", it's a little less involved as they get older, but I just want to give them the space to live their lives, knowing I will always be here to support them. When I made this video, it felt like such a release and then the way it has been received, just blew me away! It really is great to remind ourselves that we are not alone. For me personally, there is a lot of comfort in that. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this comment. I truly appreciate it! Thank you!
My yougest of 3 will be headed off to college in the fall. Im already feeling sad so I don't know how im going to handle things at the time of her leaving. Its only 90ish minutes away but having 2 other kids who have left home already, i know it wont ever be the same. I do still have my mom, for which im thankful. I also have my husband and we have a busy life but it all feels a little bit empty without the kids. 😢
Hi Melinda. Oh the anticipation of the youngest leaving is so hard... I hope in reading some of the other comments on this video, you can feel less alone. Wishing you the best with the upcoming transition and sending a ((hug)) your way❤️
Sending you you a big big hug.
Going through many of rhe same things, feels.so heavy sometimes.
But reaching out to people and sharing what you're feeling is so good 👍 .
Sending love and light to you 🙏❤️
Thank you Julia! Sending love right back!!
I can relate to so much of what you said here, and yes, it is our time of Life but that doesn't make it any easier. I applaud you for making this Video, it took a lot of courage and I truly respect you for doing it. Sending a big hug.....us Menopausal Women need to stick together! 😊
Hi Carla.
You have no idea how much I debated uploading this video… but after all the wonderful comments from women our age offering support and understanding, well it’s just been amazing!
This is such a tricky stage of life and connecting with other women who “get it” has really helped.
Thanks for the very sweet comment. I sincerely appreciate it!❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife I truly can imagine how hard this was to make, but like you said, so many of us are feeling the same way and it helps knowing it's not just us! Great job!
Wow, so much of this hit home for me. I'm finding myself very sad these days as my youngest is graduating from high school and I wish I could go back in time and have them little again, those were truly some of my best days. I struggle with emotions of not knowing what to do with myself now, lacking motivation to do many things and tremendous weight gain with menopause. I eat whatever I want because I'm feeling and lost but then beat myself up for it. I found your channel when I was looking for empty nest sydrome videos and am so glad I did, knowing I'm not alone helps a ton. Although I've always worked and have a college degree the kids always came first with my work situation so I've only taken jobs that worked around their schedules, have no clue what I'll do now for employment now that I'll have so much time on my hands...this has also been a huge worry and struggle for me. I hope we are both feeling better soon!
Hi Theresa. Reading your comment, I was nodding to everything you said, because that’s me too! My kids and their schedules always came first, and then when you don’t have that anymore, it’s this huge weird void. When I made this video, I was a having a low day and honestly just getting it out there felt so good. And then all the wonderful comments, just blew me away! It truly does help when you realize so many other women can relate. I hope that when your youngest does leave, that you can find something “just for you”. For me it is this RUclips channel. It takes a lot of time(which I have) and it is totally mine. And that feels good. So I really wish that for you too.
Thank you so much for leaving me this comment. It truly means a lot because I could relate so well to it all. Sending a virtual ((hug))❤️
I have never watched a more relatable video as this one right here. I’m struggling all day everyday with everything that you mentioned.
Hi Shawna. I hate hearing you are struggling, but obviously I understand and if you read through the comment section, most women can relate and I hope you feel some comfort in knowing you are not alone. I know I did. Since making this video, I have felt better, because I think just getting this all out there and then all the supportive comments, honestly just blew me away and made me feel so much less alone and understood.
I hope each day brings you some reasons to smile. Sending you a big virtual ((hug))
Your a great person Tina! I’m a great judge of character and know you are to hard on yourself. Thanks for having this channel?
Hi Jeannine. You are so very kind. Thank you❤️
Thank you for sharing Tina I can tell this video was not easy. I am sure this video will help so many people going through the same thing but don’t have the voice. Becoming an Empty Nester is a tough transition. So just keep making these encouraging videos and inspiring this community! Enjoy this next chapter in your life and enjoy the beautiful journey you are about to embark upon. 💕💕💕🌸💐💐
Hi Maria! I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate your comment! I’m feeling really good these days and part of that probably had something to do with just “getting it out”. Your comment is such a good reminder that this can be such a beautiful journey! Thank you for that!! You have definitely brought a smile to my face today!💕
The cold reality. Surround yourself with close friends who have lost parents.
Unfortunately a lot of me friends are part of this group...
OMGosh…this video got me emotional too. I can relate with every single topic you brought up. I don’t believe there is a good mom out there, that wouldn’t love to have the chance to do somethings over. Moms are human and aren’t always perfect. It is evident that your your sons had a caring, loving mom when they were growing up.
It is common for woman in our age group to have lower thyroid levels. Which could cause weight gain & low motivation. I definitely know when my levels are low and need my thyroid medication adjusted.
Anyway, this video was posted a few months ago. Hope things have gotten brighter💕
Things are definitely brighter! Immediately after making this video I felt so much lighter!
I just had the most beautiful Christmas with my boys and although there are times I would love to re-do, there is something so great about having adult relationships with them. I really am blessed!
Thank you for your kind words! This video has shown me how many wonderful people like yourself are out there ready to give a little kindness to a stranger! Amazing! 💕
All the feelings, struggles and regrets you have are what make you who you are. You are a caring, sensitive soul, and I am certain your family wouldn’t have changed a thing about you.
Oh Mary, you just made me cry! But in a good way. This is the nicest thing I’ve ever read. Thank you! You truly just filled up my heart. Thank you sweet friend ❤️
Hi Tina, you really touched my heart when you spoke about how much you miss your parents. My Mom passed 6 yrs ago and not a day goes by that I don't think of her and want to call her or hear her voice. Please do not think you are alone. It's hard to adjust too when your kids are grown but I must say you do get great joy when you see how well they become wonderful adults. I can relate to so much of what you said. Thank you for sharing this touching video with us. xoxo
Hi Sharon.
You have been missing your Mom almost as long as I have, so I know you completely understand. After posting my video, I definitely did not feel alone. So many of you lovely women have shared with me what you have been through and it honestly has meant the world. I completely agree with what you said about watching your children become wonderful adults. What an absolute incredible feeling that is.
I just want to thank you for taking the time to leave me this comment. You are obviously an incredibly kind person and I hope you know how much I appreciate it. Thank you!!
Hello Tina. I have been a subscriber for awhile now and I also feel you are a friend. As a matter of fact, when quiet bothers me your videos help so much. I am a 60 years old with three grown daughters and I had a baby when I was 47 and she just turned 13. I think she was a gift to postpone the empty nest. I have so much I would like to say to you but I have gone thru losing parents, feeling like a less than adequate mother, watching children leave the family home and gaining weight. All normal and surmountable. I think it boils down to major life changes can throw us into a depression. When you visit your doctor talk to them about this possibility. I have had episodes of depression at the time my children left home, when my parents died etc. Again normal. Weight gain, lack of motivation and profound sadness can be traced to this and it’s important to get treatment. Let us know how you are doing.
Hi Susan! First off, reading that you think of me as a friend as well, made me smile. What a blessing having a young daughter still at home! I am sure your home is filled with that great young energy!
Reading your comment, I can see you completely understand where I was coming from. I have been overwhelmed with all of the care and concern being shown from this amazing community of women. You are absolutely one of those amazing women! When I made this video, I just felt like I unloaded some pent up emotions and immediately felt so much lighter. I have gone through some times in my life where I know I was depressed, and I got the help I needed to get through it. I would not hesitate to do that again if needed, but I want you to know I am doing ok!
Thank you for being so incredibly kind and checking on me. I am so incredibly blessed having women like you join me here on RUclips. It absolutely means the world to me!
There are very few mothers that do not feel as you do. I know I do. I miss my boys being little so very much. I miss the life in our house. Twenty years have just flown by.
It's a tough time in our lives, a lot of changes. We'll get through it❤
Hi Carol! From reading your comment, and learning you are also a "boy"mom makes me feel a certain connection with you that I know you really get where I was coming from. And when you said - "We'll get through this", I just love that! In doing this video, the support and understanding I have received from others has been honestly, amazing! You are right. We will get through this because we are most definitely not alone!
Thank you for extending so much kindness! It really means a lot!
Thank you for sharing. No one tells you the regrets you have about your lack of skill at being a mother, that never goes away. But I believe that the failures we identify might not be the same ones our children would list. All you can do is go forward from here and be there for them at every stage of their lives. Menopause is horrible, there are no good answers, it seems like each person has a different type of journey. All I can say is stay away from starches and sugar, and find a good doctor and take prescribed drugs. There is something so soothing about a mother’s love, if you are lucky to have a good mother. Motivation is elusive some times, be kind to yourself and acknowledge your feelings. Hugs are a good thing, find someone to hug.
Hi MaryAnn. Thank for your incredibly kind and supportive comment. The amount of love I have felt from doing this video has been amazing and it’s because of kind people like you! Thank you!💕
I loved this video The fact that you wish you could change somethings with your boys when they were younger shows that you care and no one is perfect We all have regrets about child raring and things we think we should have done You have a great relationship with them now and that says a lot of your mothering.
Hi Terry.
Thank you so much for that.❤️
I feel so lucky to have such close relationships with my sons today. After posting this video, it meant so much to hear back from so many Mom's that they too had the "so tired days" where they too wish they had, had more patience with their kids. It always helps me when I know I am not alone.
Thank you again for your incredibly kind comment. I really appreciate it!
I'm 73 and retired now. I never had any kids and sometimes I wish I had! But at the time I wasn't in very long or good relationships and the desire wasn't there. I finally met the man I would be with for almost 18 years when I was 40. He was divorced with two kids. We got married two years before he passed away with cancer in 2008. I still miss him. His grown daughters were close with me after he passed away so they were almost like my daughters and friends to me. They live about 1 1/2 hours away so their visits kept getting further apart. So I don't get to see them very often, especially his younger daughter and her kids. I really miss them and my husband's family. I grew to love his parents but they passed away a few years ago. I lost my dad in 2016 and I M extremely lucky to have my mom at 92! She's physically strong but she has problems with her memory and repeats things. I'm dreading the day she passes away. I'm very close to her and we have long phone calls as she lives an hour away. I'm lucky I have my two sisters and their families within driving distance. I'm sure you were a good mom. That is the hardest job in the world. I'm so glad you shared your feelings. I remember menopause and I wish I could go back and be that age again but I was so glad when I didn't have my periods anymore! Now I just have to be happy to wake up in the morning. Sorry this is so long winded!
Hi Rose Ann. 18 years with the love of your life, was definitely not enough time...I can't even imagine that heartbreak... I'm so sorry. And now, not being able to see your step-daughters must be so hard. I am so glad to hear that you still have your sweet Mom and sisters. I can imagine it's hard to see your Mom struggle. My Mom had Alzheimer's before she passed away and seeing the woman I loved my whole life, not be the Mom I always knew was so incredibly hard.
Please don't apologize for being long winded! I am honored you would share this with me and you also are so sweet, extending such kindness and understanding to me.
You know, immediately after making this video, I felt such a relief and so much lighter. I just know for me, it always helps to know others can relate to how I feel. It definitely makes me feel better. I would like to send love and hugs your way in return.
Thank you again for your kindness. It truly means a lot.
Thank you for making this video. You did the best you could and I'm sure they'd be shocked if you told them you felt you weren't a great mom. Believe me there were times I wished mine would not get outta bed cause I knew the mayhem was about to start! Menopause is a struggle physically and emotionally. Please be kind to yourself. What you think you didn't do right with your kids you can put right with grandchildren. When you are feeling low everything seems sad. Keep talking to your parents and wrap your arms around yourself like you are hugging them with your eyes closed. It feels comforting. I lost 4 siblings in 6 years between 2013 and 2019. You have to live. Life is happy and life is sad. Lacking motivation is symptom of menopause. I've been there. Go easy x
Hi Anne! Your comment really touched my heart. Reading it made me feel understood and it’s also a great reminder to be kinder to myself.
I’m so sorry to hear of all the loss you have experienced. Absolutely heartbreaking… I can tell from your comment what a strong and loving person you are. You have obviously dealt with a lot of heartbreak, yet I love how you remind us to live. And when you said - when you are feeling low, everything seems sad. That is so true! I do talk to my parents everyday. It actually brings me a lot of comfort. Thank you so much for your kind comment that felt like a hug❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife thank you Tina. Life can be short. Make the best of it. Much love and strength to you x
Thanks for your honest and open chat. I feel all the things about empty nest that you feel. Quite frankly I hate it. And even though I’m a Pilates instructor I too have gained weight still exercising and eating clean. It’s very discouraging. All these things build up on us. I’m quite lonely sometimes even with having friends. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.
Hi there!
Navigating all this "stuff" in midlife is so challenging isn't it?? I never thought about any of this when I was younger and I wish my Mom was here, I had asked her more about it...
Since making this video, I have been doing really well, keeping myself busy, so my quiet house doesn't feel as lonely most of the time. But like you, there are still days it just makes me sad...
You know I can relate to everything you said, and I know in doing this video, I felt so much better just knowing I wasn't alone, so I hope that is helping you too.
Thank you so much for sharing with me. I truly appreciate it and I hope that today is a GOOD day for you.
Thanks again.
I was just searching on empty nest and menopause to get some support on how to get through this transition and there you EXACTLY where I am- unexplained weight gain, empty nest, husband traveling for work, one sweet furbaby for company, long list of projects but no motivation and 2 boys that we raised that I miss terribly. Fortunately, my mom is still alive and doing well, and I'm calling her to remind her how much I love her immediately after this🙂. I even find myself recently not being able to motivate myself to leave home since I work from home also. It's bitterly lonesome and I feel like a completely different person from who I was. I'll tell you what I tell myself.. Give yourself some grace. This is a transition. It won't always be this way. Find some support. Find a hobby you enjoy and keep your mind on being grateful for all you have. Some days it works. Some days, - not so much, but I try to remember that tomorrow is a new day and hopefully will be a better one. All the best to you 🌟!!
Wow! If we don’t have a lot in common!!??! I love your take on all this and agree completely. Since making this video, it was such a release that made me feel immediately lighter, and then all the comments from wonderful women like yourself, made me feel so understood! Thank you!
I so appreciate you taking the time to leave me this comment and I wish all the best to you as well! ❤️
I can relate to everything you said. Please be extra compassionate with yourself. This is several life transitions at once. You are going to be great. You need time to reflect and to come to terms with all of the changes. You are in a mourning period. This will pass. May God bless you.
Hi Susan. Thank you so much for your kind words. It truly means a lot❤️
I can relate with the jealousy when seeing people with their parents. My mom and dad have passed as well. So did my gparents. My siblings have estranged from me as well so I really get the heartache squeeze when I see other people having sibling time.
At the church I attend there are lots of generations in family groups and I'm glad for them and sad for me. And I do get to be parented and grandparented and siblinged by the people in my Sunday school class ❤❤
It's an awful feeling isn't it?? Some times the pangs feel like real pain...
I am so glad you have a great group with your Sunday School class. That is wonderful!
Thank you for watching and taking the time to leave me a comment. I really appreciate it and sending ((hugs))❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. I wish you peace and love and people to love on. ❤️
I have felt those things too...I think all mom feel that way at times. Show your self some grace. Enjoy "the now"...be "present "....we can't go back....learn, grow and go....I too have the menopausal weight gain....I'm working on that....change things up, don't pressure yourself... breathe and love yourself ❤
Hi Rachael! I absolutely love your comment! That is exactly what I am trying to do. Thank you so much for relating and for the great reminder to be here "now".
You got me crying! I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. I lost my dad a few years ago and some days are harder than others. He was only 69.
We made a move a year ago to a different state and my 21 year old daughter chose to stay ( we are 8 hours away now, not terrible bit way too far) and I miss her SO much! It's like my heart was ripped out. I do also have an 18 year old son that lives with us still but he works nights and sleeps days, so I barely see him. I miss the younger days even though I love who they are now and having adult children. Getting older is hard. I feel for you.
Hi Rebekkah. I’m sorry I got you crying! Your Dad was so young. I’m so sorry for your loss. And having your daughter so far away has to be so hard. When you say it felt like “your heart was ripped out”, I know that is not an exaggeration! Both my kids are pretty close, but as their lives unfold, I worry that won’t be the case always. There are so many challenges as we get older.
I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you sharing some of your struggles. I do think it helps when talk about these things and can get a little bit of comfort knowing others understand. That’s what you’ve done for me. Thank you❤️
I can relate to everything you said. I lost my father 15 years ago and my mom 2 months ago. I will also get jealous at seeing people with their parents. I would love to watch a organize my pantry or project outside then it would also help me get motivated to do the same.
Hi Barb. I’m so sorry you can relate. Only 2 months after losing your Mom… it’s so hard😢
I wish we didn’t belong to this awful club. Sending a ((hug)) your way
Thank you for the suggestion. I’m going to see if I can make that happen!
Thank you for your sweet understanding comment. I hope you have some smiles today❤️
Thanks for sharing and yes, you did get me a bit teary.
I can relate to everything you said (my mother is alive, though, but unfortunately, we've be estranged for over 10 yrs!😢).
I'm very much a DAILY list maker but like you, I have many small projects that I just haven't completed...because I add to the "large ToDo list" and see too many shiny things! Either distractions or laziness?!
Weight gain?!? Yep! I'm 62 and 5 feet tall!! I gained 15 lbs (on a short body, that's a lot) these last 18 months; however, I do know why. I'm a walker and enjoy yoga very much but like you, I am a BIG eater, especially at night and the last year and a half, I stopped taking care of myself!
I've allowed what's going in our country (and personal issues) somewhat get me unmotivated to do much of anything but EAT! I just keep up with the daily chores/grind! As long as my home is clean n tidy and animals are healthy who cares about me and my health?
Thanks for listening TO me.
Hi Soraya!
First of all, thank you for sharing with ME! I hope that getting some your struggles out, helps you to feel a bit lighter, like doing this video did for me. I can relate to so much of what you shared and I want you to know, that you made me laugh too! “Too many shiny things!” Lol! That is me too!
But seriously, in doing this video, I got so much comfort knowing I’m not the only one. I hope you never feel alone either.
Thanks again for sharing and I hope today is a good day❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife thanks for your reply. You motivated me to accomplish two big projects this weekend which I've put off for several months! Yay!
Now, if I could shed the 10 of the 15 pounds I've gained though I'm back to my exercises! Yes, aging is a bummer on metabolism and energy?!
Yay you!! That must feel great! I think sometimes the hardest part is just getting started. Then once you do, look out! Lol!
Now the menopausal weight gain 😞 ugh it’s so hard! No one ever tells you, that when you get older, you will lick an ice cube and gain 5 pounds!
I can relate to alot of what you are going through. I just lost my daddy a week ago and it is so very hard. It is an incredible sadness that I have. I am also an empty nester. And I miss those days of my boys being small. And yes there is some guilt over the times when I was not the best mom I could have been. Those days I just lost my temper with my boys and raised my voice with them. So yeah I get the guilt. Thanks for sharing.
Oh Gloria, I saw on Instagram you lost your sweet Dad. My heart goes out to you because I know how incredibly heartbreaking it is. Sending ((hugs))
Thank you for taking the time to comment and being able to relate. I truly appreciate it.
I hope that even going through your grief, you find some reasons to smile everyday❤️
I'm so sorry about losing your daddy. No matter how old we get, our dad's are still our daddy's. Hugs.
Thank you for this video. This is a natural grieving process. We are all human and flawed. Don’t beat yourself up for being human.
Thank you for the kind words Mark. I really appreciate it❤️
Please don't feel like you are alone in this ! I also just went ti dr. Yesterday and have gained 10lbs and everything ido doesn't seem to work I just started the fasting like you have done! As far as loneliness and sadness I'm there as well in the last 5 years I have lost my only sister and a brother that I lived so much! I try to take one day at a time but as you know some days are just so heartbreaking! You are a beautiful woman so 7 lbs will not change that! Hope you doing the video has helped! Prayers to all of us to get threw this! 🙏
Hi Peggy! Thank you for taking time to leave this message. I am so sorry about the loss of your sister and brother. I can't even imagine the pain... Being the youngest sibling, I worry about that...
Moving onto positive! I think you are really going to like fasting. I have been tweaking my routine and since I made my video, I have lost 3 of the 7 pounds I gained. I think that is the trick with fasting- switching things up!
I have to tell you, just making the video, made me feel so much better. You know, just letting it out. And then the response from all these amazing women like you sharing your stories, well, it was honestly so comforting. We really all share so many struggles and just putting them out there sometimes and knowing others understand, just helps so much.
Thank you again for your kindness. It truly means so much.
Your sharing helped me a lot. Thanks.
That makes me really happy! Thank you for saying that!
I feel your pain. My Mother died 7 years ago and I never knew my Mother-in-Law. I miss my Mom so much at times I feel like my heart will break. I can fully relate to you about the closet. Have put it off for 6 years. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all struggle.
I don’t think the missing will ever go away….😢
Sending you (hugs))❤️
Prayers for you- Your an awesome person
Dave you are an awesome person because you always have a kind word to share. Thank you!
@@tinasbestmidlife have a great day
You too Dave!
I am so glad i found this video - you are so refreshingly open and I feel for you . This was a year ago I know , but I’ve been searching for people talking g openly about empty nest syndrome versus the trite advice to get a hobby
I totally relate to the feelings of regret with raising kids - we are not perfect and I made a lot of mistakes and I didn’t always cope well but I left an abusive marriage and did it all by myself. It was so hard and I wish I could’ve given my daughter the stable family she wanted
Does anyone relate ?
Hi. Although I can't relate to having had to leave an abusive marriage,((hugs)) I can obviously relate to feeling bad on the days that I was so tired and just not the best Mom I could be. I feel so lucky that I have such a close relationship with my adult kids and I hope that is the case for you and your daughter. I don't think there is Mom out there that didn't have days she would like to take back. I think it helps so much knowing we are not alone and I hope someone on here can relate to your situation and offer some some support.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and comment. I hope today is a good one!
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for posting this video. I have struggled with nearly everything you’ve talked about. Especially the lack of motivation. I will say, my faith in Jesus gives me hope for after I pass on, that I’ll see my dad again. It’s still hard. This is such a big life transition, and it’s really hard. Prayers for you ❤️
Hi Jillya. Just like you I have the same faith of seeing my parents again when I leave this earth and there is so much comfort in that... Since making this video I do feel much better. Probably because of just "getting it out" and also because of all the truly supportive comments. I agree this transition is hard, but it truly helps knowing we are not alone. Prayers back to you!
We are all doing the best we can!!!
I agree❤️
Thank you for this video!
Thank YOU for watching!💕
My friend, I can relate on every level. You just said all of the things I've been too afraid to share on my channel. I'm afraid of looking vulnerable and weak.
Additionally, I miss home. I'm a California girl living in an Indiana world, and it's going to be like this for the rest of my life.
I also don't have any of what I call "heartfriends" here. No female I'm particularly close to who desires to spend time with me on a regular basis. That's been tough. I don't need a lot of friends, but I do like to have one close local friend.
By the way, I think your lack of motivation to get things done is a byproduct of all the stuff you mentioned before. Loss of motivation is a very common side effect of depression. And I'm dealing with that, as well.
Hi friend. Wow. Doing this video has made it apparent how we all seem to struggle with similar things related to our time of life. It must be hard being away from “home”. I know you get out to California to see your daughter occasionally. I hope those trips continue so you can feel at home as well as spend time with your daughter.
Thank you for sharing your struggles too. You know I consider you one of my close “work friends”. Thanks for your friendship ❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife Those trips to see Lane are certainly good for my heart, but unfortunately she's not living anywhere near home. She is in San diego, far south in California. I'm from the San Francisco Bay Area up north. It's hundreds of miles away. Honestly, Southern California and Northern are like two different states.
I think people of our age have been taught to suck it up, keep a smile on our face, and make the best of it. So it's a little more difficult for us to talk about struggles like this. And for that reason, I think it's really important you did this. It helps me understand I'm not that unusual in my feelings and that alone is a comfort.
I just learned you were from Northern California, because I just watched your Q&A!
I definitely am one who doesn’t normally talk about my struggles, but you might be able to relate to this. It honestly felt easier talking to a camera! Since making that video I have just felt better feeling like I just let it out. And then our amazing group of women who have left the sweetest comments!
We definitely aren’t alone in our feelings and that feels really good.
@@tinasbestmidlife Not to drag this out, but just thought I'd share my Daddy was killed in a car accident 24 years ago. The 20th would have been his 78th birthday. I sat down and had a good, cleansing cry. That doesn't happen often, but it still gets to me sometimes.
What a horrible way to lose your Dad… I’m sorry you had to go through that. For me, these anniversaries sometimes have overwhelmed me and other years, I have felt ok. You just never know. Sometimes those big cries really do help.
Sending ❤️ your way
I'm so very sorry friend you're struggling and hurting; I've been there too. I'll be 61 this oct, it's taken me years to be ok with the quiet house( 9 kids between hubby and me)my rescues have saved me; it took years of hearing my husband say" are we feeding the air force base with 8 gallons of chili" when it's just him and I now😂I was still cooking for large groups, I also get the menopausal changes( it's harder to maintain weight, lack of motivation is hitting me now too). My problem lately is I'm missing my grandbabies (4) that live in san Antonio, and Austin.....all have started school, so now time's flying again😥😘but I truly feel you and your emptiness, the " what ifs", but all we can ever do is our best at the time..give yourself grace; you deserve it, and believe me...you'll get more used to the quiet as time goes by😘
Hi Deborah. Ok, first of all, thank you for making me laugh out loud! The “feeding the Air Force base”!!! 😂 I can completely relate! I am still doing that! I am having to learn how to cook for just two people.
Just thinking reading your comment, that as we get older and if we are blessed with grandchildren, not only will we be missing our kids, but then grandkids! It must be hard with them living far away. Sending a ((hug)) my friend.
I just want you to know how much reading your comment meant to me. Thank you for your kind words and completely understanding how I feel.
I hope you have a wonderful day my friend ❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife hang in there grl...you got this; depressed and unmotivated comes and goes( but my labs showed no vit d and b12 in me, so I've upped those, seems to help with blahs)as we age...wisdom, and peace come along with it, besides.....when theres only 2 choices; I'll take getting older😂😘
Absolutely!! 😘
I just now noticed that this is quite an old post. But my words still apply. 🙂
I feel so badly for you, but interestingly, I am the total opposite. Never having had children, so no "empty nest" to go through? I embrace the quiet. There are times that my husband calls and is coming home early, and I wish he wasn't. THERE - I said it. I so CHERISH my alone time, that I don't want it to be interrupted. It's not that I don't also cherish what we have together, because I most certainly do. But my time is mine, and I do live for it. We lost our beautiful girl dog in April, and that is the one portion I struggle with. She followed me around everywhere for nearly 16 years. And I miss her. More than words can say, and I cry every day.
To think that any mom could be the mom their kids deserve EVERY DAY? MY goodness - allow yourself that. There is nothing wrong with not being the perfect mom every day. Wow, I can't imagine they deserve more than YOU.
I lost my mom at 8, and my dad at 18. I had no adult relationship with either of my parents. Talk about wanting to talk to them, or give them a hug, You cannot go back, but you have the future with your kids. Be grateful for that.
SInce the age of 38, I have gained a ton of weight. (I'm now 63). I've gained 50 pounds since I got married in 1985!! I was a size 00, and no one needs to be that tiny. I had a full hysterectomy in February of 2020, and part of that weight gain is included in those 50 pounds. But now I have lost almost 20 pounds in the past year - just eating healthy. I don't deny myself anything, nor have I EVER agonized over it. MY comfortable weight is where my body settles into.
You are a lovely person. Do I REALLY know you? I don't. But I love your words. Do not beat yourself up. You will get things done.
Thank you for sharing - this was NOT a downer. It was cathartic for you (at least I hope it was). You are truly lovely.
Hi Linda. Let me start by saying I LOVE your honesty about how you cherish your time to yourself. I think that’s one of the great parts about getting older, that we know what we need. I too like SOME time to myself, so you will get no judgment from me!
I’m so sorry about your pup passing away. 16 years with a “shadow” is a long time and I am one of those people who see dogs as family members. You may have seen my Louie in some of my videos. He is going to be 11 in March and just thinking of when he won’t be with me anymore, starts me sobbing… I am so very sorry she’s gone…
And reading how young you were losing your parents….is too sad to even comprehend. It just reinforces when we are out in the world, how we never really know the pain others have gone or are going through.
I do love hearing how you are embracing just being healthy. Very wise words!
You are right that making this video made me feel so much lighter!
Thank you for understanding where I was coming from and sharing some of your struggles with me. It really means a lot!❤️
What an honest and wonderful video! I’m sorry things have been so tough for you. Their aren’t any perfect mothers. Mother’s grow up with their children and do the best they can. Give yourself a break. I’ve lost my parents and my 27 year old son due to a hiking accident.
Life isn’t an easy journey but hang in there it’s worth it. God is so good just ask him for help.
Hi Barb. How sweet of you to take the time to comment and share with me. You have experienced every parents worst nightmare as well as the heartbreak of losing your parents. My prayers go out to you.
When I made this video is was such a release, and then all the amazing comments from women like you, completely blew me away. You are right, that God is so good. I hope your heart is healing with his help.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this comment. I truly appreciate it.
Our third daughter just married ( last to move out) and moved to NC. Some of the things you spoke of are totally NORMAL Sitting in the kids rooms and going back in time regretting the time you were not 100% with the children is not going to help you at all. You were the best mother you could be EVEN in those times. We are human . It’s ok for children to see that their parents can get angry, short tempered , have a day where everything goes wrong ect.. that’s REAL LIFE ( I’m speaking with no danger towards the child.) Not trying to be rude . I think SOME women have a high expectation for themselves. Children just want you to be present. Young mothers may view your channel . Life is hard enough without going to the past to relive everything you may have “ done wrong.” Live in the PRESENT. That’s all we have. TODAY ❤❤
I completely agree that living in the present is what we should do. Even knowing that, sometimes, I've still gone back to dwell on things I will never be able to change. Luckily, I don't spend much time there and I'm able to get back to what I can do today.
Thank you for watching and I hope you're having a great day!
I relate to absolutely everything you said. The guilt in the empty nest stage is huge.
In my case I did not grow up with my father and I lost my mom very young. I was 28. She missed meeting my son, she missed tons of things and I desperately miss having her comfort when I’m worried or anxious or afraid or lonely.
My partner does not live with me so the silence is so depressing! And his family is not nice to me. We’ve been together for 16 years. Never did they even send a text saying anything. They are cold and distant. My partner got that from them. So, the empty nest is way worse because of that.
Oh Patricia, I am so sorry for what you are going through...I can relate to a lot of what you are going through. I just wish you had some supportive family members around you. I hope you could find some comfort in reading all the comments from this video. I know for me it helped so much knowing that what I was feeling was understood by so many other women, going through the same thing.
I hope that today you have a few reasons to smile. You deserve it(( hugs))
@@tinasbestmidlife thank you! ♥️
My only child is leaving next Monday to college. I can relate perfectly
Just sending you big ((hugs)) as you adjust to the new normal❤️
You are not alone. I lost my Mom a year ago…my Dad years before that. I had the best parents on earth. I miss them terribly..still cry…wish I could hug them…get their advice…laugh with them. I know the longing you feel..you are not alone. No matter how old you get, you never stop needing your parents. I love being a Mom…but I miss being someone’s child. I am also an empty nester. And divorced. So I get the house being quiet. In fact, I relate to SO much of what you said. It is natural to have regrets about the way we parented. We all looked forward to bedtime for the kids sometimes…we were younger…. We are wiser now. But our kids still love us, right? Menopause sucks. I have gained weight too. I used to be this little petite thing. UGH. Gee I wis we could just meet for coffee and chat about all this. I could use a friend in the flesh.. Take care and know that what you are experiencing is not unusual.
Hi!
Reading your comment, I felt immediately that you and I have a lot in common! The way you talked about your parents and how you miss being someone's child, hit me huge! Yes! That is exactly how I feel too. No matter how old you get, when your parents are here, there is a a feeling of security and love that you don't realize how awful it feels when it's gone.
I too wish we could get together for coffee! It really helps so much just talking with someone who understands.
I hope today is one of the good days, where the weight of everything doesn't seem so heavy. ((hugs))
Thank you so much for sharing with me. I truly appreciate it!
@@tinasbestmidlife aww. Thank you. ❤️
An empty house feels much bigger in a lonely kind of way. I miss it being full of kids and grandkids. Honestly, though, at some point I believe some of us get a little too old and tired to do things like we used to do anyhow no matter how much we love them. It's their time to shine and we can be happy for them. Having an empty nest is a major life change and figuring out what to do next in life is a big deal.
You are so right that although I sometimes miss the the younger days, I love watching my adult kids, “shine” like you said. I have my low days like everyone does, but I’m generally very excited about where I’m at right now and excited for what comes next.
Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it!
I hope you have a great day!
You are depressed. it’s ok. Talk to someone professionally. You may need something temporarily. No judgment. We have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. Much love to you.
I totally understand and can relate! I wished I could change some of the things in the past in raising my kids! Now that I have precious grandchildren and see how my daughter raises them I get sorta upset.. then I wonder is it my fault the way I raised her! But time goes by so quickly you just want them to stay young & not grow up so fast! I understand about your mom and dad too! My mom passed away from brain cancer when I was 19.. so I was the youngest and with my dad by myself.. then my dad passed away in 2000.. but I was so attached to my father. I miss them everyday! It’s really hard. And you being home alone I know that is really hard! I wished you lived closer and we could be friends! I would give you a big hug first! Weight is hard! I recently lost 70 pounds and it took me about a year.. but I feel so much better! Have you thought about getting a part time job? I recently got a job at Chico’s and I love it. I enjoy fashion and jewelry and decided I’m going to go to work.. I only work a few days so it’s not overwhelming.. in our days growing up seems we had friends to talk to and we don’t have that now! I will send you an email !
Oh Robin, I can not imagine how hard it must have been to lose your Mom so young…. Not having our parents here on earth is a club I wish we didn’t belong too.
I’m happy to hear about your job at Chicos. Sounds like it’s a great fit.
It would be nice to live closer, you are such a sweetheart❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife thank you! You are such a sweetheart! I know we would be friends. We seem to have a lot in common!
Tina, thank you for sharing, wish I could give you a hug.💗
Oh Marie you are just the sweetest! Thank you❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife ❤️
Being a mom is SO hard. I think most of us look Back and Wish there has been times when we’d done things differently, been more patient, read one more book, said yes to the park more often. But I think our children understand we did the best we could and we love them. Give yourself some grace. I didn’t discover IF until well after menopause and it’s worked great for me. I’m sorry to hear it’s not working as well after so many years. That would be frustrating. Do your clean fast?
Hi Andrea. Yep. Reading your comment, I know you know exactly how I feel.
One thing so interesting, is all of us who do intermittent fasting that I’ve just learned about!
Yes, I always clean fast. Only black coffee and water. I know what I need to do, but honestly have just been lazy. I honestly feel like making this video along from making me feel so much lighter, is motivating me.
Thank you so much for your kind words and inspiration! You look amazing!!
Awww please don't be so hard on yourself. Wow we never met in person, but I saw you as the perfect mom. You are such a sweet loving beautiful person inside and out. I pray God touches you in such a special way and heals your heart. My daughter is overcoming autism and I can remember times like this with guilt too. I can relate to feeling alone at times. But Tina God sees you and loves you so much. I wish we lived closer I would give you a big bear hug. We all go through seasons in life but when we reach out to God He always comes through and helps us. Some seasons seem dry at times but believe it or not crying is so cleansing. I have filled so many bottles with my tears from the season I am in. In psalm 56:8 it says He keeps track of all our sorrows and collects all our tears in His bottle. His joy is your strength. Just trust Him to get you through this season He definitely will. I am here for you if you ever need to talk. Just email me. As for weight gain I have been intermittent as well. I know when we strength train it does make the scale more. Muscle weighs more than fat. You absolutely don't look heavy you are so beautiful. You need to do something for you. When I get sad I get outside in nature and it makes me feel better. As the motivation goes absolutely I was stuck in this rut but I heard something in my spirit to please stand up. I think as women we go through so much and many times we take ourselves for granted and put ourselves last. I started my youtube channel to get out from under that rut of being mom, caregiver, nurse, wife etc don't get me wrong I love these roles but I needed to find myself again. I guess you can say I needed to begin again. Raising a special need child and going from one hospital to the next since she was 7 now 23 was tough tough. Still going through stuff but I had to make a decision to just trust God give Him every care and worry and just live life. Some of my loved ones have passed and I found myself grieving. I had to say to myself I am still here and I am here for a purpose. And so are you. I have a father who left my mom before I was born. Met him yrs ago wants nothing to do with me. But he has issues he has to work out and God knows what he is doing. But I will say God collects your every tear isn't that amazing that blows my mind! Being a christian I have learned God gives us faith for each day and some days we feel like we can't take another step, but we can. Take one step at a time everything is going to alright. This is a hard subject but you do matter Tina. God has a wonderful plan for you. I pray you feel His love as you reach out to Him. My husband and I have a online ministry called faith circle on Facebook. We post inspirations and everyone encourages each other. My husband or I do weekly teachings on sound biblical teachings. I want you to know you are loved and you can begin again❤❤❤ I must have edited this a thousand times lol wanted you to really see God's heart. Have a blessed rested week everything is going to be alright❤❤❤
Oh Barbara, you are so sweet. Your love and kindness definitely came through in this comment and I just want to thank you!! It truly means a lot!!
I'm blessed to have you for a friend!
@@tinasbestmidlife You are so welcome love you my friend be blessed❤❤❤
Tina, sending hugs ❤
Thank you sweet friend ❤️
Yes I can relate. It’s a yucky feeling.
((Hugs))
I had to tweak my eating window by lengthening it two hours and having small meals through that window. My body just wasn’t dealing well with big meals anymore. My parents are alive, age 87 and 84. One is a narcissist and the other is-well, worse. Love what you had and will have in heaven. My six kids are grown and don’t live nearby. It’s hard but find what fills you and don’t do it bc you ‘should’. You are everyone. As for regrets, God knows your heart.
Hi Cheri. Can I just thank you so much for your comment. Reading this just emphasizes how I was so blessed to have the relationship with my parents that I did. No relationship is ever perfect, but I realize not everyone had what I had. Thank you for being so open and sharing that.
And I am so interested in hearing how other people make intermittent fasting work for them. Like you said, I’m in the process of tweaking it and see how it works for me.
Right now, this RUclips channel fills me up so much, mostly because of people like you! I’m so grateful for this channel and the friendships I’m making.
Thank you so much for understanding and I hope you have a great day my friend ❤️
I'm caring for my parents 94, 93. Dad with dementia mom narcissist borderline personality disorder. It's exhausting and draining.
I can only imagine how hard that is…
My first video. Thank you for being so honest. I'm curious how you are doing one year later.
Hi Georgie! How incredibly sweet you are! I appreciate you asking. I am doing really well. I think we all still have "low" days and I am no exception, but I feel overall, I settling into this phase of my life. And trying to focus on all the positive things in my life.
I hope if you are in this phase of life too, that you are doing well. Your kindness really made my day. Thank you!
Tina, please don’t be so hard on yourself and never apologise for opening your heart …..we should feel honoured that you feel able to share your sadness and I really hope it helps you. When I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 39 I began writing a blog and it was really cathartic to share my thoughts. Sending lots of hugs, love and strength. X
P.s. have you spoken to a dr……menopause brings us so many horrid symptoms and there maybe help out there for you. X
Oh Lorraine, I have been absolutely blown away by the kindness of all you amazing women! And yes! After making this video, I felt like I had just unloaded so much, and like you said, it feels cathartic. I feel lighter!
I’ve known before this that you have a kind heart and I would like to send those hugs, love and strength right back to you my friend ❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife thanks so much Tina! Being our age and all that brings does bring a lot of soul searching to the surface and I hate that you’re sad because of that! I’m not about to tell you how to manage it but please be assured, you are far from being alone. (BTW I think you requested to follow me on Instagram……I don’t actually post on there lol…Facebook and all my RUclipsrs are enough plus my blog and so I only use Instagram to follow others) xx
No worries about Instagram. I request to follow back with absolutely no expectations. All good!
I a mom of 2 boys as well. I can so relate to this. I wonder if it’s harder with boys, they will have their own lives and I think spouses with fill their lives (I hope so) and I don’t think they’ll call their mom all the time. 😢 vs a daughter probably would.
Hi Donna. I absolutely agree that it is very different for us boy Moms..I feel so lucky to still have close relationships with both my boys and I think daily on everything I can do, to keep those relationships strong, while letting them live their own lives. It can be so challenging going from being one of the “leads” in their lives, to just a supporting role.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a comment. I feel such a strong bond especially with the “boy moms” out there. So thank you for chiming in because I know you truly understand.❤️
Oh ps. I don’t have. Channel yet here on RUclips but that’s next on my list to do. After I paint my living room walls. I have a prefabricated home with panel walls and it makes it look dark. Some say it’s in the wood walls but I want light and bright lately with a minimalist style. But I will keep getting pointers from you and the other ones in our age group. Wish me luck coming to the RUclips family of fashion
Hi Susan. I am so excited for you and I can't wait to support you and be one of your first subscribers! Please send me an email if I can be of any help. A lot goes into this RUclips thing and anything I've learned I would be happy to share. It has honestly been such a blessing for me! I love how busy it keeps me. I am truly excited for you! All the fellow RUclips women I have "met" are so supportive. Its a great community of women you will be joining. Don't forget. Email me if I can help!!
@@tinasbestmidlife thanks so much Tina. I know nothing about starting up a channel yet. All I know about computers are medical applications and surfing online shopping and other apps but not this. I definitely will look upon you for help. I can’t wait. It may be before the new year if not it will be shortly after. Depends on painting then some decorating ideas for the living room and I should be ready because I will probably use my iPhone for filming and get a ring light. Oh well atleast I will be able to relate and have a great time with you and all the other ladies in our age groups facing fashion awareness and physical changes that come with life. Thinking of a channel name now. Thanks again Tina.
You are so welcome! I’ll be on the lookout for an email from you!❤️
I moved to a new state with my husband and daughter then months later my daughter decided to take a job in another state very far away.
I am heartbroken that I am no longer a part of her day to day life… I don’t know her new friends or her new boyfriend and life has totally changed for me.
I am excited for her and that she loves her new job but sad that my “Best Friend” is no longer here.
My husband works in another state and comes home 3 days a week.
I have many pets I have rescued and stay very busy but I hate not having my daughter here every night.
Waves of emotion overwhelm me.
The feelings of sadness and loneliness are surreal… they have such a heavy presence that I am at a lost for words to describe the despair I feel many days.
Hi Ashley. Reading your comment just tugged at my heart…. It sounds like you have an amazing relationship with your daughter and that must make you miss her even more. I could relate to so much of what you said. I just hope today is a good day for you and your heart isn’t feeling really heavy…
Sending ((hugs))❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife… Beautifully said… thank you so much.
I can relate to everything you said in your video especially the part of guilt for feeling you were not always the mother you wished you could have been.
Please do a follow up on how you are feeling now.
Also the menopause and weight gain… your video was amazing and I am so glad you posted it because you put into words everything I was feeling and dealing with that I could not explain.
So glad you posted the video as it helps me to watch it every day I feel alone and can’t put into words how I feel.
Your video helped me more than you will ever know.
@@ashleygonzalez32171 I am incredibly humbled by your comment. I can't even begin to tell you what it means, that I could help you feel a little less alone.
In making that video, it felt so good just letting all that stuff inside- out! I really had no idea how amazing it would be reading all the heartfelt comments from women (and some men) who could relate and understand. It brought me so much comfort and I am still in awe how many people opened up about their struggles. You asked how I am doing now and I would say, overall very good. Yes, I still have days where I miss my parents terribly and wish I could just rewind time and go back. To be able to have my kids little again and scoop them up and kiss their sweet little faces.... wouldn't it be the best to do that for even just a few minutes again! But then on the flip side, I love watching my kids live their best lives and they know I will always be their biggest cheerleader and there is something very special about that too.
Thank you for opening up to me about your struggles too. I am so touched by that.
I really hope today you find many reasons to smile.❤
I came across your video trying to find information about Chinese demographics, and pushed some accidental button to stumble upon a piece of authenticity and truth that touched my heart. I am not in your stage of life, I still get mad at my own 4 bandits, I keep failing with weight gains and starting to discover how age is doing its thing to my metabolism. but I can see my parents getting older and less healthy by the year. they are in their 80s now, and I dread the day they will go, that sometimes I have to stop whatever I am doing and concentrate on breathing as an overwhelming wave of grief washes over me. all the best to you and yours, thanks for that video and for sharing.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this comment. I truly appreciate it.
I am glad you still have your parents around, but I understand how challenging it can be to watch them get old and struggle. I have no doubt reading your comment, that your parents know how much you love them, and as a parent myself, that is such a gift you are giving them.
I can tell you are a kind person and I'm just wishing you many more times and smiles shared with your parents.
Thank you again and I hope you have a wonderful day!
@@tinasbestmidlife
I could not begin to describe how different this channel is from other channels I watch on youtube. how different the comments section is, how delighted I was to see you took the time and reply to my comment, how more hopeful I am after reading it. a rare sight in this sometimes vicious, sometimes just indifferent platform. just wanted to let you know, that from the other side, as a son, I also feel quite guilty for not spending enough time with my parents, for the times that was impatient, for hurried phone calls etc. so I guess it goes both ways.
Hi Rafi. I think I mentioned it in my video, but I have two sons. To hear your perspective from the other side touched my heart, and I could absolutely relate. I remember feeling guilt about not going to visit my parents more or when I should have called more, so I get it. I was lucky in a way with my Dad, because we knew he was dying and I got to apologize to him for all the times I was a less than perfect daughter. The love and grace he showed to me was so amazing. If you ever feel inclined to apologize to your parents, I think you will be touched at how easily they forgive.
Thank you again for your honest comment. ❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife
I can only imagine what it felt like, to be able to say these things to your father, and what his response and forgiveness meant to you in the hardship of the moment, indeed a luck of sorts. a big thank you for the advice - I have a feeling that regardless of my parent's response, my heart will feel a lot lighter. I needed that little nudge to do that. all the best Tina, you deserve it (and may your to do list become dynamic again, when you feel like it)
Thank you!❤️
I’m 58 and I was just where you were with your weight. It just starts creeping up and you don’t even realize it. My mom died at age of 54, so when I reached that age, something hit me and I thought “I’ve got to do something about my health and fitness.” I went all in on my nutrition and exercise and haven’t looked back. Consistency is key. I will be happy to tell you what I do, but I know everyone has advice and that is not what you asked for. But message me if I can help. Everything I do is totally free and just takes consistency and dedication.
Hi Juli! I have often heard that when you get and go passed the age your parents died at, it really makes you take stock of your life. I’m really happy you have found a way to live that makes you feel great. I know what I need to do. It just me doing it! I honestly didn’t realize how just putting all this out there would make me feel so much lighter and feeling like I’m ready to get back in the drivers seat, so to speak. Thank you so much for sharing with me your success story. It really helps ❤️
ABOUT GUILT:
There are NO perfect parents & we all mess up somewhere along the way.
I have apologized to my adult children for my many screw ups over the years.
If they become parents I hope I have taught them to admit their wrongs and apologize when it’s called for.
Parenting is a LONG road - it’s not easy and kids can try ANYONES patience (except God.)
We can ALL lose it somewhere along the way .
(Even my friend who is a Christian Kindergarten teacher and the closest person to a saint that I know feels guilty for this.)
As long as our kids know deep in their heart that we truly love them is what really matters.
Looking forward to their bedtime is not a sin in my opinion.
What truly is a sin is what my old college boyfriend’s stepdad did to him:
When he was small, he tried to drown him in the bathtub.
I also met a Mom who said the way to deal with a crying baby is to put his little seat in the tub, whack him with a wooden spoon, close the shower curtain & bathroom door and walk away.
Now that her kids are grown 1 doesn’t even talk to her and she told me she NEVER feels guilty about anything and has NO regrets. To me, THESE are the people who guilt is appropriate.
Moms that have the most loving hearts seem to feel the most guilty and that’s not right.
That goes double for the Catholics. 😂My BFF is Catholic and whenever anything goes wrong she always takes responsibility for it.
For example, I once lost my wallet at a restaurant. I was just waiting to see if she owned it. Sure enough, she ends up feeling guilty for distracting me by talking to me at dinner.
It was NOT her fault I lost it but to me the Catholic chicks always seem overly guilty.
If we have done horrible things we CAN change, become a new person in Christ, apologize and make amends.
But we all must realize that no one is perfect and we all stumble along the way.
Sometimes it helps to ask God for forgiveness and also to work on self love.
The quickest way to torture ourselves is to reminisce and keep staring in the rear view mirror. We must know that there is much more real estate given to the windshield for a reason.
We need to look at where we are going now.
We need to build a new future with the wisdom we have gained over the years. God only gave us limited time on this planet and it’s imperative that we focus on the future.
Then we can give back to the world with what we have learned. 💕
Hi there!
Thank you for your comment. It’s jam packed with so much kindness and understanding!
I will say reading about the abuse some of your friends endured, honestly made me feel ill….
I hope they aren’t still suffering today from what they went through.
Thank you again for your kindness. It truly means so much to me. This video has reinforced just how many wonderful caring people are out there and you are one of them ❤️
@@tinasbestmidlifeWhen I saw this video I could just feel the goodness in your heart. My kids & husband say I can read people well and to me you seem like the Mom a LOT of kids only wish they had!
I didn’t think you might feel bad reading my message but it just shows what a kind and empathetic heart you have.
We need to see more love in the world - we need more people like you and I hope you can continue making videos and shining your light into the world. 💕
Im 48 and an empty nester and live away from my only grandbaby. Im also going through menopause and we recently moved 600 miles away from all my family. Its a struggle every day to stay positive. Most days I just wanna cry.
Oh Kelly. I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug reading your comment. You are going through so much change and I can't begin to imagine how hard that all is. I wish there was something I could say to offer you some comfort. Please know I'm thinking of your and sending love your way...
@@tinasbestmidlife thank you so much! Its a very difficult season of life. My husband is not the father of my kids so he doesn’t understand what its like for me. My kids and grandbaby are my life. I feel so alone
I want to move back home but my husband is against it. My mother is also there. What mistakes Ive made 😭
Oh Kelly! I live away far away from my brother and sisters and when my parents were alive, I was far away from them too. It’s so hard… is it possible to plan a visit there sometime soon?? Having a visit to look forward might help on the really low days you’re going through. Or could any of your kids (grand baby)plan a trip to see you? Is your Mom still able to travel? Another thing that really helped me when my Dad was dying and me being so far away, was FaceTiming him regularly. Just to see your loved one’s face while you’re talking made me feel much more connected. I hope me offering these ideas is ok, because I understand if you really just need to unload to someone with no advice given. Just to get it out. Please know I’m thinking of you❤️
@@tinasbestmidlife just having someone to listen and understand is so helpful. My thoughts and prayers are going out to you as well. Life is just hard at times isnt it?