Rihanna Wins! | Are The Balloons Sent By Aliens? | George Santos Stole Puppies
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- Опубликовано: 12 фев 2023
- Stephen recaps the Super Bowl, catches up on unidentified flying objects invading U.S. airspace, and marvels at the latest scandals involving Rep. George Santos.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. 
Развлечения
George Santos is a perfect example of what's wrong with America, He couldn't get a job at McDonald's but got a seat in Congress
McDonald's won't hire him, yet they have a prominent employee who openly steals company burgers.
I have a job at McDonald’s. l would like a seat in Congress.
But I won’t run as a Republican so yea that would never work.
Well one of those parties has standards....
People voted for him. I guess he (Santos) won't vote for any bill requiring more background checks on candidates.
Well, yeah. McDonald's does background checks.
How irresponsible would they be to let a criminal liar serve your fries.
I gotta say, one thing George Santos has actually done is help me with my own self esteem... feeling pretty good about myself after this nonstop dumpster fire.
OMG!! Suddenly it hit me... Has anyone thought to ask Santos about the balloons?!? I'm sure HE has all the answers. Hell, I bet he MADE them all, and all by himself!
Actually the Canadian prime minister can order U.S. fighter jets to shoot things down through NORAD, just like your president can do with ours, that is how closely linked or militaries are when it comes to North American air defense.
Facts...
That's pretty cool
Very surprised to learn that Stephen doesn't know how NORAD works - other than the Santa tracking part, of course ;)
Yeah… but it’s funnier how he said it
Our countries are besties
You know, if a cartoon villain did half of the shit Santos did, he'd be called too much or too unreleastic. Satire has surpassed reality.
Santos has also claimed to be a cartoon villain.
Roger Stone was a much better cartoon villain.
No actually, we would have caught the joke and laughed at it.
Cartoons are reality to you?
@@elhoward7440 He has the clothing for it
In George Santos defense, how was he supposed to know the Amish could call the police?
Tru dat! 💯
He's like a cartoon villain. Even Cruella de Vil is like "dial it down".
Wait, aren't you referring to MTG?
I heard that George Santos was flying the F-22 that shot down one of the unknown balloons and is currently leading the recovery efforts. He's so multi-talented... and full of more hot air than those balloons. 😁
🤣🤣🤣🤣❤❤❤
My day just isn’t the same without Stephen’s monologue. Thank for always making me laugh and smile and dealing with this insane world.
You. Need help
Isn't he the best!
@@akmediascope just like the rest just as lame.
Yea(, but he raped children on Epstein’s island, yeah he’s hilarious
@@wiganscasinosucks628 Go away troll!
my friend said it was nice of Rihanna to let the football players play at her concert
Santo is the gift that keeps on taking
😂
😂
Santos also asked the pet shop hosting the event to pay him directly instead of his "charity", the owner refused, but when they checked later, the money had indeed ended up with Santos. Also if you're looking for a dog, please consider a rescue! There are so many good boys and girls that need a home!
He’s disgusting!
The Amish are notorious for running puppy mills. I would (and have gotten puppies from animal shelters) before I would throw away money on mill puppies that usually come with a huge number of health problems related to bad breeding.
@Traci Weber YES, thank you for making that point!!!
When we were looking for a small dog to be a companion for our other small dog after our big dog died (small dog came into a house that already had dogs, but she was scared of other big dogs, but also didn’t do well on her own-loads of trauma from the abusive home she was literally rescued from), we watched the Humane Society, which is were we got her. Small dogs at our Humane Societies are rare since we’re one of the few places in the US that welcomes pits. So pits tend to end up here.
So we started trying our local small breed rescue. We were denied for not getting out dying dog “appropriate veterinary care,” to which our vet asked what the fuck that was supposed to mean when we got our dog the appropriate care.
Meanwhile, small dog was struggling very, very badly. So we went to a Yorkie breeder and paid through the nose for a small dog to be a companion for our rescue small dog, which she needed.
And that big dog who died-I got her from a breeder back when I was single near San Francsico, wanted a golden after two years of researching breeds to determine the likely best fit, and had tried the golden rescue. Those assholes denied me because I was single and they said goldens to best in families. Fucking assholes said that to an infertile woman (I later had IVF). The golden I got from a breeder went everywhere with me. Her needs trumped our desire for internet strangers to approve of us.
While I’m a fan of the Humane Society and rescues first, unfortunately, they won’t always work out. I was absolutely crushed when I was turned down.
This scam could only work if it involved an Amish puppy mill.
No responsible dog breeder hands over their puppy to someone
just because they can write a check or have a wad of cash.
That would NEVER, EVER happen !!!
This pious scum is telling us MUCH more about himself than he realizes.
It's a damn shame this reporter has no knowledge of the misery
caused by all these Amish with "side jobs".
WRZ 2023-02-17
Santos stole the puppies for Marjorie to make another fur coat
George sold some of the puppies to MTG and she has already made the fur coat...
I love that Lewis is playing the acoustic guitar tonight!! He’s great with any instrument he plays but the different sound of the acoustic is a treat. Love the Late Show Band ❤
I do too!
When you stream it on hulu it does show you what the audience is getting during the commercial break while the commercial plays in the upper right corner. I always mute the commercial and jam to the music.
George Santos was all the dancers in the hall time show, too!! Incredible talent
Contrary to what Stephen says, the Canadian government has the authority to issue orders to US aircraft and personnel in Canada as part of NORAD missions because NORAD is a unified command structure.
This is just the beginning. As Nena warned us back in 83, there's 99 red balloons
They're called strategic decorations in the sky. Plus they think of you when you let them go.
Ha ha, I was thinking the same thing 🤣
He was gone only a week, but it felt like an eternity.
So, glad you are back! Gone a week, 😥seems like YEARS. Look forward to upload of your monologue every night!👏😄
Omg that Ring camera joke was accurate!! I’ve heard so much about the Fisher Cat at my dad’s house that I feel like it’s MY Fisher Cat.
Yay!! I missed you so much Mr. Colbert!! So happy you're back🥰
Remember when the line between everyday villainy and cartoon supervillainy is kidnapping puppies? George Santos just gleefully vaulted over that line. George Santos is a cartoon supervillain. Now what does that say about the GQP?
MTG dressed like Cruella de Vil.
@@shevek2954 They're in on it together, I bet, lol. Santos is just one her henchmen in this nightmarish reboot that won't seem to end.
@@celestejones6315 all that's missing is Lauren Boebert showing up to her job with a coat made out of Dalmatian puppy fur.
-supervillian-
grifter
@@Tao_Tology Why not both? 🤷♀️
The little Italian dog kept saying goodbye to everyone. It was a ciao-chow!
It's not mine - feel free to use it! (All my best work is plagiarized.)
As a German, I knew that joke was coming when I saw them do the hand gesture. I was like, oh dear, not a good look XD
Probably a bunch of American expats 😅
I KNEW that TikTok punchline was coming as soon as Stephen mentioned the balloon has communication interception antennas! Was not disappointed!
As mentioned above, I was kinda hoping for, "Is potato!" However, the bit about Tik-Tok, which you were clever enough to anticipate (unlike me,) was PERFECT!
I'm sorry about all the UFOs being spotted lately. I was just trying to upgrade my copy of Space Invaders, and it got way out of hand. 😉😂🤣
For a tutorial on interstellar travel see on utube Zohar-Stargate T.V. investigates Pleadian contactee Billy Meiers material with a narrative by Randolf Winters.
As a German that German fans bit had me in stiches.
Stephen's presentation and delivery just gets better and better.
Omg they played Martha My Dear at the end there. Nice to hear Lewis keeping up Jon's tradition of Beatles songs at the Ed Sullivan Theatre!
Martha My Dear is a song about Paul McCartney's dog
@@michaelgahagan2669 I mean sorta. It's named after his dog but I'm pretty sure it's kinda about his ex-girlfriend Jane Asher.
Yes Stephen ..... " we used it to pop balloon" i die 🤣
And NOT protect the Capitol.
His writers missed the opportunity for "is potato" in reference to the cylindrical ufo.
Please cover the situation in Ohio with a whole city being poisoned by a train derailment/chemical weapon.
It was a hard week without a good Stephen Colbert monologue, glad to be back. Congrats to Rihanna for her second pregnancy!
Congratulations on having sex without protection!
I hear they know what causes it now.
@@StellaJean1000 And? You got a problem with babies.
It was horrid. Sounded like electronic weird stuff not music.
i mean, that's neat and all, but why do we care? it's not our baby so why is it a big deal?
Actually the fighters were part of NORAD so Trudeau could have ordered since they were over Canadian airspace. Love your show.
There were also two canadian F-18's in the area as well.
They don't fact check themselves
@@junkboxxxxxx Stephen needs to license "Corrections" from Seth.
@@flatline8580 I think the joke hit harder with the American audiences than trying to cram in some lines about how the calls were made or not made. Good chance that aCanadian Prime Minister who is in close contact with a neighboring country that is armed to the teets and has made enemies in 95% of the countries around the world- has a little special leeway after "spy objects in our airspace" becomes such a hot topic.
I believe Trudea could order it and between the 2 chain of commands, the one with the larger budget takes off at the same time and is granted permission to fire their super expensive, tax-paid explosive rockets JUST so that the companies like Lockheed Martin can justify building more and more munitions as if the rockets have an expiration date worse than an open gallon of Milk sitting in the center of Florida in full sun, during the hottest part of the summer!
Now... Is that funnier than the original joke? No. Do I write jokes for a certain OTHER Late Night show? Maybe quite possibly no as well! But!!! Do YOU, dear Canuck-bucking-syrup-sipping-eh-saying fwiends, do you write for a late night show or have to decide how many words each joke gets or how long it takes or how impactful a quick-jab to get some yuck-yucks has to take before you come in with a paragraph of legalese to explain how Tru-tru-trudio was able to legally call for the order first, then go through all the proper bureacratic channels to alert his armed-to-the-teeth and very paranoid neighboring country with the knowledge that FIGHTER jets would be scrambled and were going to fire missles at an object over THEIR airspace, to then be told that the neighboring country wants first crack at firing at it to maybe prove that their missiles WILL work and don't have a computer chip in them that was manufatured by the country who SENT the object and would rather test their weapons and collect data on whether or not the object was possibly capable of screwing with the weapon's guidance or weapons' system?
Run on horrible sentence! Run and be free!
I'm George Santos. And I approved this order. Vote for me! I am the one with a R and my colour es roja! Arriba Argentina!Please don't cry for me! - I wrote that.
IF by happenchance you ARE a writer for any Late Night show broadcast to millions of homes and around the world almost every day.... Hi!!!! I followed Dan O'Brian (writer at Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver) and have followed his comedy and career for the last ~15yrs! Amazing talent on these shows!!!
Which brings me to my next plug- Some More News on the podcasts and youtube, hosted by probably-an-award winning host- Dr. Cody Johnston!!!! I mean, he may or MAY not be a Dr but he IS Mr. Cody. Some funny lil girl I've also followed for over a decade is Katy Stoll! If I could go on a date with a semi-celebrity, it would be Katy Stoll! I think she could really use a nice night out at a unique restaurant, a neck-back-FOOT massage, and a nice person that just wants to let her speak and be heard! Just a "nice night" of relaxation and funny thoughts. ....
Oky, you got me. This whole thing was a ploy to get Katy Stoll's attention. Congrats, you win a prize by clicking the thumbs up button on this comment! Details on claiming your suprise may come at a later date or possibly not at all! Woohoo!!!!! Prizes!!!!!
Anyways, Hi Katy! Love your guys' stuff! I think you're great! I am not that funny in my writing. I just like to start typing and let my mind drift and perk and stew and shish and kabob and... oh no... I'm doing it again! But I just figured, ya'know what?
These are youtube comments! The 1st reply under the top comment sent me to a link of a middle-eastern or south-east-middle-south-eastern man who gave a demonstration of his homemade soap spitter! He rigged up an old motor to an air compressor tht was able to be filled with a slight amount of a soapy mixture. He then pressurizes it with the air compressor. When the valve is turned on the "release" side where a hose is attached, besides the obvious gaps n holes soap bubbles are escaping from, the other open end of his hose is spurting soap JUST like what you get at a car-wash for a dollar! I enjoyed it even though understanding that particular foreign languge is NOT something I can do!
Manic and escaping my problems tonight :) Enjoy.
The late "rim-shot"/"pity-shot" was absolutely PERFECT!! lol :D This was an awesome monologue. :)
Brilliant, as usual, Stephen!
I lost it at the Amish Puppies!
I used to think George Santos didn't belong in Congress. Now I know he's perfect for it.
Obviously he isn't.
He's VERY on-brand for the republican dregs currently there.
Lol
*Why are you blaming Congress as though it is a monolith?*
There is only one party that has the responsibility to yet failed to vet their candidate.
There is only one party in control
There is only one party that seated him.
There is only one party that failed to take any action after he flashed the White Nationalists' hand sign on the House floor during a photo op.
There is only one party that has eviscerated the Ethics Committee since gaining control.
There is only one party that gave him committee assignments.
There is only one party that is not calling for his resignation.
Try applying some common sense and stop making excuses for that party.
Are you a parent of children?
Do you blame all the children when only one misbehaves?
sheesh....Trump Univ.?
@@Tao_Tology Don't speak about three time Nobel Prize winner, and world record holder for longest time spent riding a wave on a surfboard, George Santos, like that!
@@RealBradMiller I did and I shall!
Santos is a fraud! A FRAUD, I say, and no one can sto....
Hang on, there's someone at the door.
"Lost the right to group hand gestures" 😆🤣😆
Uber has been great for Germans. Trying to hail a cab was awkward before.
'Uber' name still sus though.
Thank goodness those elbows were bending...
The US, with its own nazis (yes, with swastikas and everything), is in no place to criticise Germany.
@@shevek2954 Fucking LOL! Now that you mention it, it IS a little on the nose. But that's what you get for importing most of our scientists.
Nobody in Germany watches american football. Those doofuses Munich where American expats.
According to Santos, those balloons belongs to his great grandfather to monitor aliens.
I just checked, and I am, in fact, being probed. It came as quite a surprise! When I checked to see who was holding it, the alien seemed embarrassed he was noticed, and gave me an awkward wave. I'm not sure how to continue this interaction; please help.
Look again, you're not being probed you just didn't clear all the action figures off the sofa before you sat down.
@stevena105 - Give him directions to MagaLardo; 45 is getting impatient.
NORAD is a joint defense between the US and Canada.
"You've lost the right to group hand gestures". lol. Such great writting.
Reminded me of a scene in Dr. Strangelove
To be perfectly clear, that was NOT a nazi salute. It actually reminds me of a gesture we sometimes do in Italy to say "look at that" or "go go go".
... On second thought, maybe this doesn't help my point. 🤣
@@b33thr33kay It's the tomahawk chop fans of a sports team insist on doing even though we all agreed to quit mocking Native Americans for a freaking sports team.
@@elenachristian9860 Oh wow, I didn't know. Thanks for informing me. I guess I completely misunderstood the context.
The Canadian Prime Minister has the authority to scramble U.S. fighter jets from NORAD as it is a joint command.
I said something similar. Sometimes I wonder if too many Americans are brainwashed to believe that Canada is useless.
@@islandgal500 so they're not useless?
@@porfiriato84 Only in the minds of uneducated Americans.
@@porfiriato84 No, US fighter jets aren't useless.
If aliens are getting here in balloons that’s some crazy ass advanced helium
Aliens breathing helium. Remember breathing helium how our voices sounded?
Did you not watch that Mars Attacks! documentary in history class?
The harvest helium from nuclear weapons.
Wow... Alien technology is not what I was lead to believe it would be.
Labor shortage... plus they're all tired from space flight.
Thanks, Obama
Went undetected all this time didn't it? Perhaps the Aliens realized a low-tech solution was the answer, then the Chinese just had to go and send a balloon. 🤣
😆😆😆😆
I feel the same way about my Commander in Chief, pathetic to say the least.
lol Joseph with the late rimshot..that made me laugh 😂
Welcome back dear Stephen! You were missed. ❤
Watching the Super bowl is a proper endurance event for your liver in the UK . Lasts until 4-5 a.m. and you meet your mates at the pub at about 7p.m. Place I went was mostly Eagles fans, so I really enjoyed it!
Good one on the Germany joke 🤣
These stories with Santos just gets better everyday. Now Amish puppies. What's next? Hollywood can't write better stuff.
Or if they did....
"Stealing Amish puppies? Dial it back. That's too unbelievably villainous. "
@@shevek2954 reality is often funnier than anything someone could come up with. I would look up emu wars, that time a US ship stopped a U-boat with potatoes, and that time ben Franklin almost started a war between France and England.
Some of this stuff writes itself.
Because the FIRST thing someone does with a stolen checkbook is to go out and buy puppies!
@@anticharlatan5823 Amish puppies, though.
The former Spider-Man from the Broadway musical, Reeve Carney, was highly amused about the Santos story and seeing himself in the news. He's now Orpheus in Hadestown, one of the most successful shows on Broadway.
For McCarthy, Santos performs the useful function of serving as benchmark that makes the other crazies look sane.
McCarthy could care less as long as he votes the way McCarthy wants.
Late Show crew and writers, beautiful job as usual
Looking like a sharp dressed man Mr. Colbert. Love the tie.
10:37 _"$15,000_ for _puppies!_ Holy shih tzu!"
Careful, now. Don't step in a poodle.
Aliens scoped us out. They've changed their minds about First Contact.
"Got his head stuck in a soft pretzel," lol.
I feel that writer deep, man... As I'm sure most of us who have been pregnant can vouch for, lol. My (late) mom when she was pregnant with my brother cried for four days straight - no joke, four days, couldn't sleep because she was just *wailing* - over a commercial where a family buys a puppy for their kids as a Christmas present but then ignore it, and it was basically an ad in the late 90s warning people to not do that.
My dad walked into the room after the ordeal and saw she wasn't crying anymore, and thinking this would be funny to say to her, just sighs and says, "That poor puppy thought he had a home, didn't he?" She just absolutely f***ing BURST again - almost like a balloon that was popped by a missile lol, except in crying form.
I had my own dog/baby commercial that got me, too... Damn Amazon ad with a cute Japanese family that wouldn't stop playing relentlessly...
The ads, man... They're like straight up horror films mixed with Marley and Me for pregnant women over even some of the most seemingly mundane things.
Although it definitely happens with other things, too. In my second pregnancy, I dropped a handful of crackers and started sobbing because I stepped on them by accident. Then laughed maniacally because of how silly that was, while still being unable to stop crying. And simultaneously crying while laughing at myself over what a mess I was. So at least the writer's reason made legit sense, lol.
I dare you to get a bottle of Boon's Farm Strawberry Fields Forever wine, and watch the movie "Where the Red Fern Grows". It's enough to make a biker doing a life sentence cry like a baby.
You deserve a spot as a writer on his show.
@@tinkerstrade3553 I ALMOST referenced Where the Red Fern Grows instead of Marley and Me, lmao! I didn't think many people would get the reference, though.
(Spoilers, btw.) I remember as a kid I never was required to read it myself, but my brother was for a class at some point and had to read it out loud to my dad. I was sitting across the room just playing video games, and the ONE part of the book I had to overhear him reading was the drowning puppy in the ice part. 😭😭😭 I paused the game, left the room, and just bawled for hours on my bed thinking "WTF?!? WHYYYYY?!?!?" lol. I read it on my own later and watched the movie eventually, too, but I stopped both times at that part and have zero recollection of any other part besides the very beginning, and THAT heart wrenching part... Just thinking about it I feel like an ice pick is being shoved into my chest even 20 years later, lol...
Everyone should mail their US Rep a bar of soap and a note to wash their hands of George Santos. Pass it on.
I sent one to McCarthy too
I love how they're playing "Martha My Dear", a song that Paul wrote about his dog (goes with Colberts puppy story) and also makes for a nice hint that British John Oliver is coming up next. I see you, band.
Santos needs his own reality TV show. It would be a smash hit.
Congratulations to the writer, and may the yoghurt be satisfying to the tummy and soul
She sounds so sweet! I hope she has a smooth pregnancy and a good village to help with the baby.
@@Hair8Metal8Karen Literally all you know about her is that she likes yogurt and Miles Teller.
@@HOTD108_ So?
Last week was wild. This week is probably going to stay weird too.
Yknow, there's probably a writer for The Onion kicking themselves right now for not coming up with an article titled "George Santos Steals Puppies from the Amish," before George Santos beat them to it.
Great monologue! Colbert always makes me laugh. But this one really had me cracking up at times. I’m gonna watch it again :-)
Colbert looking sharp as always! I was missing the show, it's that good and clever!
We ALWAYS got our pets (3dogs) from the shelter when children. My mom would save her coupon money and when sufficient buy pet food in quantity and deliver it to the shelter.
The super late rimshot was PERFECT.
Can Joseph get a toy drum kit for rim shots? I miss Jon Batiste’s piano riffs
After not seeing Stephen for a week, I am anxious to watch the show and see him get caught up with the previous week's stories. Unfortunately, it would take a full hour of monologue to get caught up.
I'd be totally ok with a full hour of monologue, just sayin'.
@@MachaMongRuad Same. I was interested in his take on the State of the Union.
Glad you’re back, Steven!
Finally! Great to see you again, Stephen!
Considering the realities of the Amish puppy industry, I'd call those bad checks a blow struck for justice.
My thoughts exactly.
Yes, puppy mills are evil. Yes, some puppy mills are run by Amish people. But other people also run puppy mills, and many Amish breeders are legitimate.
So what "realities" are you talking about? That there are some bad apples in the Amish community, just as there are in other groups? Ten years ago, I bought a purebred Golden Retriever from an Amish family. When we arrived there, the litter's father was loose, and he ran over to us wagging and smiling, sniffed us over, and ran off to hunt in a field. The mother was healthy-looking and shiny, happy to see us.The puppies were beautiful, healthy, and clean. I paid $500 (at the time, $1000 was a common price for a Golden) for a gorgeous boy, and received a 5- generation pedigree when I registered him. He's smart, gorgeous, and healthy at 10. His last check-up, my vet remarked that it was nice to see a healthy Golden. Just before Christmas, I purchased another Golden puppy from a different farm near the first ($700; Goldens are going from $1200-$1800 now). Again, the parents were out loose on the farm, happy and healthy-looking, while the burly little furballs were clean and bright-eyed. The baby I chose came with a folder containing her medical records, microchip number, pedigree application, and name and address of the breeders; a bag of puppy food, and a towel with the scent of mom and litter mates on it to ease the transition. She's smart, very full of herself, and beautiful.
Puppy mills are evil; if you can't see at least the mother and the area where she and the babies are kept, then don't buy there. Never purchase a puppy from a pet store or a department store, only from a reputable kennel. Any legitimate breeder, whether Amish, Catholic, atheist, whatever, will allow you to see the parents and whelping area.
Implying that all puppy mills are Amish, or that all Amish dog breeders are mills, is irresponsible and discriminatory.
@@retriever19golden55 They take the dogs from the barn and put them in a lovely setting when you come to get them.
Everyone should mail their US Rep a bar of soap and a note to wash their hands of George Santos. Pass it on.
I sent one to McCarthy too
"I didn't do it, someone stole my check book!"
... Says the guy who is currently being tried in Brazil for having stolen $700 in checks.
One day Georgie will see an actual wolf moving in on the sheep... and none of us will believe him.
You'd think he'd know better since his resume says he wrote The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
Santos' biography:
The Boy Who Copied Fox
That’s a fable-u-Lous prediction.
I wouldn't mind taking George to a wild life park where he could feed the wolves.
He is a wolf
He is chaotic evil
Great job to the whole camera & lighting crew.
The Amish puppies are so adorable. Stephen, hands down, is the best!
NORAD is a joint operation which the RCAF also operates through, both countries are allowed to enter/defend/patrol each others airspace without permission to enter, etc. But authorization to Fire at objects in Canadian airspace does require Canadian approval (and vice versa for Canadian fighters firing at objects in US airspace). Trudeau is correct, he did give a US F-22 authorization to fire.
It's like each week a new lie that Santos told is uncovered.
Week?! Seems like every 3 hours.
@@shevek2954 3 hours seems too long
It's far worse than that. He lies every day, then lies about the lying when he is asked if what he just said was a lie. It's a layer cake of lies, iced with untruths, exaggerations and embellishments. It's like calculus in lying form... the lies have derivatives, which are lies about the first lie, and there are second derivative lies, which are lies about the first lie and the first derivative lies...no wonder George gets caught. His lying is doing the equivalent of infinite dimensional chess while his wee brain's memory is playing checkers.
Everyone should mail their US Rep a bar of soap and a note to wash their hands of George Santos. Pass it on.
I sent one to McCarthy too
actually, if the balloon was over Canadian airspace, the PM definitely had the last word
I love when Stephen’s back with a new dose of idgafness 😂
The entire balloon bit was the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in a long time!
We can always anticipate all out craziness in the news feed whenever Stephen conveniently goes on a break 😂 welcome back, there’s a lot to catch up!
At 5:13 I was laughing so hard my eyes started watering. Sometimes those little jokes are the very best ones.
Thanks for getting the “cars for kids” song stuck in my head, Colbert! Pretty impressive how all you have to do is reference the song and it instantly gets stuck in your head! 😆George Santos writes a damn good jingle!
How the heck are all those kids offbeat in a different way? The 1 and 3 or 2 and 4 are somewhere saying WT.?
The Pro Bowl being morphed into three flag football games was incredible! If only CBS advertised when it was on live better………I would definitely have tried to watch it live!
Was hoping for a '99 Spy Balloons' cold open...
* pouts *
I was hoping for 101 Dalmatians featuring Cruella Taylor Green.
Missed you during the break Stephen!
"santos is not always lying, sometimes he is committing crimes" lmao
Thank you for your service, Mr. Saylor. That was textbook perfect timing.
I hope that writer has a smooth pregnancy and that there is a decent support system in place to help with the baby.
I love seeing such sweet and thoughtful comments like this one... Particularly ones that seem really genuine and not like a lot of spam ones, lol. It makes my day every time. I hope she does too, though, and I hope you're also doing well despite all the crap in the world right now, as well.
Who gives a shit
I keep joking that this is the fact of why we haven't actually met aliens yet is because anytime they try to send down some kind of probe we just try to shoot it down proving that we're too violent of a species
NORAD is a joint operation and the prime minister can absolutely order a take down. You are officially that kid who takes credit for the whole group project.
In our defense--I had no idea about this. Stephen, a well educated man who routinely interviews top government officials, knew this. Our media and government go to a LOT of trouble to convince us we are an island unto ourselves.
Fresh comedy ! It's like air and water. You have to have it.
Sex .. forgot sex
It's called NORAD Stephen. That's how a Canadian gives an order and an ally responds.
Finally! Our February John Oliver episode has arrived! Please let them talk about the UFOs
Emmy winning monolog Stephen 👏!
I can’t stop thinking about how one sidewinder missile costs about the same as a brand new Rolls Royce.
They were probably approaching their "Best by" date, anyway. 😉
The military has those things mass produced. If it wasn't used on the balloon, then it would have sat in a warehouse until it had to be decommissioned from old age,
All these UFOs are making me nostalgic for the "X-Files"...
Hulu 😉 Every season
Mulder and Sully need to investigate what planet Marjorie Taylor Green is from.
Holy shit, puppies from the Amish, Jesus, I thought that was a joke lol, what's next, will we find out he stole juice boxes from daycare centers? Life is just too freaking surreal sometimes.....
Look at the drummer smile! He HAD to do that rim shot!
"Stole puppies from the Amish" I had to stare at that headline for a minute