So called therapists want you to forgive your abuse or make excuses for abusers. No contact over the last three & a half years saved my life. I have lost 150 pounds & have spent most all my time alone. Finding good people is the hard thing. I will never allow anyone to ever abuse me again. Having two narcissistic sociopaths for parents & coming to the realization they never loved me was a hard pill to swallow. Now i know the hate, shame & blame was never mine to carry.
Hopefully giving up the burden of anger at them, realizing what broke them is what broke you, can keep you from dwelling in the dark place that was your past. That struggle took me up and down for a long time because i villainized my parents, believing they PERSONALLY broke me. Now that they aren't my demons they don't follow me around everywhere anymore. Really get to know the patterns of narcissistic behavior so you'll be able to start making connection confident that you can recognize the enemy. Be strong Warrior 💜
@@ateol this isn't a fact. I've seen a number of therapists. If you run into one that won't move past something you aren't going to work on w them you DON'T GO BACK. It's YOUR therapy. Therapy is about moving forward these days with tools that help you change past patterns of behavior that end up leading you in repeated circles. There's a new breed of therapist available if you dare give one a try. No more bringing up your whole past history, retelling of our stories can in ITSELF trigger our CPTSD right!? They supply us w tools just like Anna does. I love having the input of the young lady i see. SHE is a survivor HERSELF! And sometimes, when i crawl out of a foxhole, she says, "i've never seen anyone use their strength like you just did, you're an amazing woman." And i know that my strength is helping her be stronger, and giving her a tool to pass along. We're all connected thru our pain, and MORE importantly, when we reach out and grab on to one another, we bocome connected thru OUR HEALINGS. God bless your journey friend. Remember that fear is a liar that keeps us from reaching out and taking hold of what heals us. Take care of you Warrior 💜
🤗❤👍👍Thank you Anna for doing what you do and sharing your gifts with everyone. One thing I would add is that we are never too old to go deeply into the healing process which we have more than likely been sort of working on solo or with brief counselling for many years. Am I correct in thinking that healing is a journey not a destination? Happy New Year to you and and all other survivors on the healing path 💞💕
My therapist doesn’t. She’s wonderful. I have had a few bad ones and a few good ones. The one I have now is the best and I am sticking with her. She has helped me tremendously. She has the theory that you do not need to forgive to heal. I would never tell someone to not go to therapy. I think you just need to find the right person who understands your specific situation/trauma. While it is hard to find a therapist who truly understands narcissistic abuse, there are ones that understands trauma well and can help a lot. I think it is irresponsible to tell traumatized individuals to not seek professional help. Not all therapists are bad. You just need to be careful.
If you have trouble focusing, this might help you follow: 1. learn the science of CPTSD: ACE survey, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk , Complex PTSD by Pete Walker 2. learn to notice brain dysregulation: daily practice writing fears & resentments + meditation 3. get out of all unhealthy, dead-end, one-sided relationships 4. become a Jedi at being alone - no pining, no one using the other person, only people who care and support each other 5. stop spending money on therapy and cigarettes 6. exercise every day - so good for reregulating & calming emotions, for building self-confidence 7. stop all negative stuff: trash talking about other people, negative beliefs, black and white thinking, judgement of self and others, negative music 8. be a better friend: go to weddings, call people back 9. be a good worker: make the boss & the organization successful 10. learn to date
I've been in and out of therapy. My current therapist is a good person, but I just don't think it's helping. Sometimes a therapist will drop some profound wisdom on me that's actually actionable, but I just sick and tired of the vent-fest that my monthly sessions have turned into.
I recently heard Steven Kotler say in a video that you never rise to the occasion, but sink to your level of training. CPTSD is a particularly pernicious and stubborn kind of training. I then came across a quote from Robin Sharma: Ritualise your wisdom. The latter is going to be my mantra for the year. Once you've read the books, learned the lessons, it's time to commit and create daily practices. I believe if you 'do' your wisdom enough you will 'be' the change you're dreaming of. Wishing everyone well on their recovery journeys in 2020 and thank you Anna for your generosity.
I am ever so grateful for comments as so many other real life survivors have nuggets of wisdom to share, and have all been in the trenches themselves. I guess that's why AA etc are so popular, I had no idea.
Body takes the score Complex ptsd Journal your fear and resentment Leave dead end one sided relationship Be Jedi of being alone Stop spending money on therapy. Exercise everyday. Stop trash talking about anything and question your black and white thinking. Negative music Don’t abandon your friends Leave crappy job Learn to date
You do great summaries @JDB JDB. One thing I'd correct: It's not a journal! Journals are for remembering. Writing fears and resentments is to get rid of them.
Thank you. Thank you so very much. I'm a 38 yr old single woman, I live alone & have few "close" people in my life. I've always felt different & you quite literally revealed my life to me. There isn't a thing you've said that doesn't mirror my experience & where I'm at in life. I scored a 10 on the ACE quiz. With this, I can be proactive. I'm hoping to turn things around before it's too late. Thank God for your commitment to helping others. Much love.
My wife and I both have C-PTSD, and we do Yoga and Qigong. It's been helping a lot to release the anxiety and stress that we feel in our bodies. Love to all, a happy New Year and may 2020 be a year of healing.
What if my abuse led me into abusing, ruined my empathy and ability to love? The shame that comes with that is all consuming. Am I even capable of healing or even worth it
I believe that love, empathy and respect always need to be a two-way traffic. If you are not receiving that, you shouldn't feel bad about not giving that. Be very careful when choosing people who you surround yourself with and you will be fine. I hope it helps
Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving is on audiobook Also Richard Grannon offers for free How to stop emotional flashbacks and emotional literacy if you go to his site
@Daniel Dashnaw Oh my goodness. You have your opinion. She's earned a Master's Degree and has additional training. She's an outstanding expert, coach, and master. That's my opinion. Her use of reason, communication, behavior modification, and knowledge of state of the art information on brain science and trauma is the most recent. She's a highly qualified expert.
@Daniel Dashnaw Well gee, I'm sorry I did not leave room for one more meaning that fits! Thank you for clarifying. I'm licensed in California to teach. (I live in Ohio) CCF's pedagogical practices are outstanding, meaning that her delivery of information methods are effective and up to date in the field of education. The material or information is solid and accurate as far as I can see as a professional coach, and having some formal academic training and experience. No matter how much we know, it is good to refresh oneself and listen to some of the best. CCF is among the best in my opinion. Her own healing appears evident. Having gone through the experience and being a well educated woman and I'm assuming well read in this area, she was able to create a refined and outstanding curriculum and plan for others to use for healing and support! CCF should win an award!
@Daniel Dashnaw Yep! 😀 I'm familiar with EMDR but not DT. It will dawn on me after I hit "send" LOL! Please help. And again, I agree, her content and delivery is outstanding! I could analyze all the great components, but there's not enough time. God bless you.
1. Learn the sience of complex PTSD and childhood PTSD (Book recommendation : "The body keep the score" by Bessel van del Kolk ; "Complex PTSD" by Pete Walker) 2. Notice the brain dysregulation (Writing fears and resentments followed by meditation twice a day) 3. Get out of unhealthy dead-end one sided relationship 4. Become a Jedi at being alone 5. Stop spending money on therapy and cigarettes 6. Exercice every day 7. Stop all the negative things in life (Start with your own trash talking of other people) 8. Be a better friend 9. Be a good worker 10. Learn to date
I am 57, I started on this road two years ago. What a shock after spending my life thinking it was me who was 'bad'. It's like my brain was assembled wrong, or more likely, taken apart and put back together wrong! I don't have too much time left :( When a wonderful person showed me the truth it was amazing. I'm having so much trouble relearning how to interact as a friend. As a young child I lived to socialise and have parties but since then I've had no friends and missed learning socialising in my teens. I am good with strangers, do charity work and am great at sales and networking, but not on interpersonal relationships. It's hard. When I try to interact as a friend I feel like I am playing a game that I don't know how it works and there is no instruction manual!
Good morning. Thank you for this. Even though it’s a 9 minute video you covered a LOT. I had to pause it half way through. And take a deep breath. I had to pause to NOT GET OVERWHELMED. Being alone can be one of the best things. But also one of the worst things. We need connection. But if that connection is with the wrong people it can severely damage your sense of self. I’ve found that being in nature is something that helps heal me and calms me. Even in a crowded city we are still with nature. There’s a bird singing somewhere. Or a tree. The sun and the clouds are part of nature. On my down days especially I try to look up at the sky. And breathe. Even when my mood is low and the clouds are covering the sun. I remind myself that, the sun is still here and still shining. And my low mood or whatever I’m going through... WILL PASS. 🙏🏽❤️
Thanks for sharing with us! There is a lot of information, learning, connecting and healing available in Crappy Childhood Fairy world :) bit.ly/2rukHvh -Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for your recommendations. I just ordered one of the books you recommended in an attempt to heal from an abusive relationship that lasted for 6 years. I've been free for almost 5 years now and while I've started a new life and have been healing my finances, I still struggle with uncontrollable panic attacks and I can't bring myself to trust people anymore. I'm trying to find reasonable solutions.
Thank you Anna. I started your program yesterday. Wow what an experience to list childhood events and how they may have affected me. I still need to finish that as it was kind of tough but cathartic to do. One thing I disagree with is that all talk therapy should be thrown out the window; it really depends on the therapist. Without my third and final therapist I would not be on this journey with you continuing my healing. She helped heal me in a kind - not flawless - but human and humane way and I love her for it. It was money well spent and helped me and my son. Best wishes for 2021 x
You are a LITERAL ANGEL SENT FROM GOD. I seriously am so grateful for you. YOU MATTER. I agree with EVERYTHING you say in this video and you are quite literally incredible. It’s hard not to cry watching your videos Bc the gratitude is so high 🙏 😭 thank you so much.
I have been trying to rush my healing because I’m 75, and I want to have a few years to live a healed life before I die. This video gave me hope that, having this short cut, it could actually happen!❤
I really enjoy being alone. In fact, I have forced myself to be alone so far in 2020. (I am in an unhealthy relationship that cannot be exited at the time). But, I did join a gym & I plan on exercising. I am a great worker, I love work!
Thank you for this and what you share. Met with a new therapist today who specializes in cptsd, needing the support. Hearing what you say, I know I'm on the right track, for sure, have a grasp on almost all you say here. New stage of healing.
You strap on your running shoes babe! You're so BRAVE! New therapists can be so awesome once you take the big leap and GO. My new one is also trained in trauma therapy! She's got a whole TOOLBOX of stuff i wanna try! Fly like the wind fellow Warrior 💜
I love you too Crappy Childhood Fairy!!!! These are fantastic 10 things to do. Thank you to everyone healing themselves - as you heal, you are healing the world. Fortune Favors the Bold. I can do it. You can do it. We can do it. Thank you, Fairy.
I agree with most of this, though the tip to stop therapy is extremely damaging. Therapy provided by someone experienced with the treatment of CPTSD is a gamechanger and shouldn't be disregarded.
You are wonderful. I have been always wondering why I'm so depressed and why sometimes it is so hard to control my anger. Your videos explained everything and enable me to start my journey to heal. Thank you thank you thank you.
I just want to say thank you. I found one of your videos on Monday and decided to give the Daily Practice a go straight away, it just felt right. I know it’s been a very short time but I can already see a huge change inside my mind and in my days. I’m present and mindful in a way I haven’t experienced with any other self care practice/techniques I’ve tried. Watching your other videos and getting to know your story was also life changing, I felt understood. You are a wonderful, brave, sweet and inspiring person. I’m looking forward to watching more of your videos, continue with the daily practice and doing this one year work sheet. Again, thank you!♥️
At 65 years old I have known all these things but didn't know how practical this advice is. I guess this is helping me to get it down to a list! Thanks Anna
Thank you for taking time to make these videos ! So many people are suffering from " Childhood PTSD " and don't even know it ! We need to get the word out !
@Daniel Dashnaw And/or what works for one person/most people doesn't work for all people, and that's okay. Science is a process, not a factual destination, ESPECIALLY in the 'soft sciences'. By the way, the vast majority of results of studies in the field of Psychology are non-replicable. I wouldn't throw in too heavily with 'what the science says' if it means invalidating a significant number of other people's experiences. And I certainly wouldn't do it with the amount of surety, smugness and glee that you seem to in this comment section. But that's just me. And, just because I've noticed you basically copy/paste your 'not a therapist and it shows' comment all over the place: What about the multitude of professional licensed therapists who misdiagnosed/mishandled CPTSD cases based on the 'best available evidence' for DECADES up until relatively recently when there's finally been a shift? What about the non-zero number of professional licensed therapists who are more interested in running up/out the clock in therapy sessions rather than making any meaningful difference in peoples lives? I'd throw in with Crappy Childhood Fairy any day of the week over the vast majority of professional Psychologists/Psychiatrists I've come across in my lifetime.
Just found you yesterday. Saw this one tonight. I Love You, Thank You for helping all of us! I am already on the path of your 10 and I’m proud to say, on my own. So happy to know I’m doing right and in the right path. I am so Happy to have found you. You are a Blessing! Thank You and Blessings to you Abundantly always!🙏🏼🤗😘🥰♥️
I have loved ones who are reluctant to seek therapy. While I find their choice very hard to understand, your videos have opened me up to the possiblity that there are other ways to heal. I will share your content with them.
@@annae9013 hi Anna, look up somatic experiencing, and Dr. Peter Levine. In short, it's engaging the right brain in exercises that move stored trauma out of the body. Using the left brain keeps trauma trapped and recirculating in the body (ie, dissociation) which is why often patients who use talk therapy don't see good results. The belief is we can't use logic to heal trauma, we have to feel through it. Animals do this is nature when they outrun predators by shaking vigorously, but we hold on as a species and don't allow our bodies to process through our survival mode. Thus, stored trauma, PTSD, and even physical ailments.
I am getting the Stellate Ganglion Block asap. I spent the last year running, screaming in the streets while in twice-weekly therapy sessions. I read and reread the book. I exercised daily. I just survived long term abuse that rekindled childhood trauma. What happened to me was my fight or flight mechanism was always on. This is a biological brain issue. Now I have hope, real lasting hope.
This was eye opening. A couple of these points (negative thoughts, work ethic, exercise, dating, read the Body Keeps Score) are things that are vaguely swirling around me, you were able to form them into sentences. I wasn’t really seeing their interconnectedness before.
This was so excellent. I think I'll call you mom, Ann. Lol. I've always needed one. You're the closest to one I right now. I won't mention that age-wise we could be sisters. :) Thank you for free therapy. Today I listened to about 4 hours of videos and you clarified and brought me understanding and a desire to practice better self care. (Huge!!)
You are so relatable. Thank you for your selfless gifts you're sharing with us all. I wish you love and light to continue being a lightworker, always. Namaste.
Yess, I avoid most negative music nowadays as well, especially the ones with a lot of self-pity, like some Nirvana songs I used to love as a teen. If I listen to some sad soul music I like to sing along with a lot of feeling and at least that's fun, but no more depressing 'i hate myself' type of music for me
Love you, Anna! Thank you for being a light of love and healing in my path. Can't thank you enough for "bringing sense" to my life and giving me clear direction to heal. ALSO, I can't wait to join you again in the next retreat ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
This video is outstanding and very encouraging and a very humble way and a path to get your life back and to respect yourself and to regain the love that we all deserve. Thank you so much
Thank you Anna! I'm so blessed that you share what you learned so we all can be free 💚 May YOUR new year be one of clarity, spiritual deepening, and that ONE THING the Holy Spirit knows is your deepest need, in Jesus' name, amen 💛
hi Anna Runkle ,please allow me to just say that you are utterly radiant, the sparkle or glow in your eyes is simply unreal, out of this world. I inadvertently stumbled across this channel at perhaps the exact right moment in time and space. My goodness, how bright you shine ma'am!!
I'll never be able to be free from depression and anxiety. Family life was abusive, loveless, resentful and never there for me. Even when I was attacked and abducted. No one asked if I was okay, showed any concern, just resented. Whst a life.
A great video. This is what I´m doing for 3 years now, too - getting out of dead-end relationships with significant people cause I got to the point where there was enough drama all over the years and I knew if I go on like this I will not leave my flat anymore. Some call me hard and rigorous for doing this!!!! The quality of the only 2 friends now is much better, but the same acquaintances or domineering people with narcissistic features still blame, shame and trigger me so badly, that I still have to redo my contacts and some contacts I keep just in public and courses because only then I´m safe with them. Indeed this is a good question- if you don´t know what is your goal or bottom-line(no go) you will simply not change it. And I just work so with rules and questions, some people think these are rigorous and tight, but I have my goals. My credo is feeling pity with the ones you have to leave behind but don´t confuse love or friendship with pity! If you can´t say no, you can´t say yes from the heart either.
Yes! I don't know if you've checked out my dating/relationships course, but it's all about this. It's how I changed the course of my life and found a GOOD man and created a solid marriage. It took real structure and willingness to stop running my romantic life by intuition (not reliable when CPTSD has the steering wheel). I took a lot of crap from other people about my "rules" and over time, I've noticed that people can feel profoundly threatened by anyone working to order a disordered love life. We all love our freedom. For some of us though, structure is what sets us free. courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com
So glad I found this. Confirms the path I'm on. Just finished reading Pete Walker's and Bessel van der Kolk's books. Also, found 'The Narcissist in Your Life' by Julie Hall really good. With the lock down I've been exercising daily, doing yoga. Still need to spend more time meditating :) Thanks for your videos.
1. Science of complex PTSD 2. Brain dis-regulations 3. Quickly get out of unhealthy relationships 4. Jedi at being alone 5. Stop spending money on therapy and cigarette 6. Exercise everyday 7. Stop trash talking-black and white thinking 8. Be a better friend 9. Be a better worker 10. Learn to date
What you said about jobs really resonated with me. Here's the million-dollar question: but with all this baggage, how is it even POSSIBLE to find a job that makes one happy? Every job I've had these past several years has been a "negative-wave amplifier." I get it, some of this comes from inside. But as someone who's been unemployed for many months solely over NEW PTSD suffered through work, I feel nothing but shut down after all this time off, with a "crash-to-street" a real possibility in the months ahead. Because my only job that pays enough to keep me in housing and bills paid is also a very toxic career field, these days. And I haven't been able to will myself to go back in.
I'd consider this a growth emergency. If you want to try my techniques, they can help in situations like this (and on good days too). My free course is called The Daily Practice. It's on the Free Tools page of my website crappychildhoodfairy.com
@classical chameleon I think a part of my problems has been that I've always settled at that: a job is just for paying bills. Much has changed since my initial response 10 months ago. I have left the Healthcare field. In pursuit of one of my childhood dreams, I'm actually out driving a truck (semi) through the lower 48 states. And it more than fits the bill: I love my work life, it pays well, and most days I'm like, "I'm actually HAPPY at work!". I did go homeless in a way: I live in my truck, and without the housing payment, utility bills, and related expenses, I'm achieving longer term financial goals. So there can be happy endings: you just have to keep looking until you find what works for you.
I healed from coping mechanism trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) and my cpstd is healing because I'm becoming more aware of my triggers and working on getting self respect and boundaries.
I regularly worked out at the gym for about 30 years, from about 20 until 50. I also suffered a major depression in my early twenties. I think that exercise helped me and saved my life more than anything else.
I can relate to your video's. Have recently come across your teachings. To my surprise, You have very much describes me. Wow, have been to counseling, didn't seem to help much??? Depression is on going. I battle it everyday. The hurt is sometimes over whelming. But, I push through. Knowing that tomorrow will be better. One day at a time. So far so good. Very hard to find someone to talk to.? I just keep on keeping on. Right, believing tomorrow's a better day. Just wanted to thank you. Knowin that there is hope.🌹
I am going to commit to doing this for 2020! Thanks soooooo much!!! You are my number one helper right now out of all the video creator’s I have watched on RUclips!
Recently, I realised I was being a crappy friend as someone getting closer or expecting things from me made me retreat.... I obviously didn't intend on hurting people, but I was a hypocrite as that trait in partners was something I was always finding and complaining about. Its quite difficult to realise you're unavailable deep down when all you want is close connection.
Aww! That made me well up at the end there.. I'm glad to have found your work as I'm on a journey of making sense of the chaos of my life.. and all the advice that you give here, is gold. Interesting what you say, regarding therapies.. unfortunately many counsellors and therapists lack education in this area. Bodywork and talk therapies can be hugely helpful but so important to make sure they are trauma informed before investing time money and energy. Thank goodness for RUclips and Thank YOU for everything that you share x
I love this channel and after years of searching for what was "wrong" with me, I found this channel after I began accepting myself. Its definitely childhood PTSD though.
I agree with most of what you said. Ditching therapy doesn't sound like a good idea. Maybe ditch the therapist instead for a better one who is trauma informed. I disagree with "making your boss successful and putting away your emotions at work." Especially since I'm writing this in Dec 2020. Haven't we all learned that companies don't care if we live or die? And I spent waaaaay too many years trying to fit what others wanted so now companies and bosses who clearly don't care about you or their employees can suck it. I'm not playing that game anymore and for me, that is part of my healing.
Mountains are moving, Change is ensuing, If I stay in the present, I will know what I'm doing. But if I react, on feelings long past, I'm certain to return to a change that can't last. -hvb
Thanks for your clear and simple to handle and encouraging messages and examples. I find many points, some making me feel uneasy, but nevertheless justified. Very sincerely from Germany. (age 60 and still healing!)
This was so helpful because I realized I was already making about 3-4 of the changes on my own 🎉 yay! I don’t do everything wrong I make good changes for myself.
I just read Complex ptsd by Pete Walker and it changed everything for me. It taught me to recognize when Im catastrophizing, going down a road of negative thinking and shame and what to do. All I had previously was the shame of not being able to control my mind but now that I know whats happening and how to 'fix' it I have less shame.
Good idea, setting a time frame. I will definitely slack off or give up without one. Dating seems so out of the question for me, but I've found encouraging info for people may age, and will keep working on independent therapeutic research first. 💚
Hi Mrs. Runckle, thank you so much for this video. I am 44 and have such a feeling of wasted time over the last 25 years that I find this video a real blessing to help me catching up as much as I can. Again many thanks for sharing your experiences.
I know the feeling. And you'll be glad to know that when you can learn to re-regulate and start working on the life -problems that go with CPTSD, catching up happens much faster than learning these things the old fashioned way -- by being young, and having parents to teach it to you. Life gets better!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I am starting to feel the progress and the difference in my life already: observation of my thoughts and the escalation leading to self destructive behaviours, more patience, less overwhelmed by my fears and emotions caused by them, and letting things come to me instead of reacting emotionally at them. Thank you so much again for the work you are doing and the love you are spreading by doing so. Have great 2020 holidays!
Love this video. I will doing the clean eating again in Jan. I done it before and lost 80 pounds by cutting processed sugar food. You get an energy like no other when your system is not so drained.
There is almost no chance without therapy. But it's incredibly difficult to find a therapist who can help you. But once you truly find the right one, everything will change. Don't ever think you can heal complex ptsd on your own, though. This is not possible.
9th “Annaism” “Don’t complain to anyone about anything at work...or anywhere really...it becomes a habit and boomerangs. So important...
@Sage.. if only I'd followed my own advice! LOL
Ypu are absolutely correct
I found this the hard way
People DID tell me this. I didn’t listen. I made myself and SO many coworkers so very miserable over the years. 🤯
It definitely boomerangs, and it doesn't even make you feel better. There's almost instant regret. Then the long lasting consequences are much worse.
So called therapists want you to forgive your abuse or make excuses for abusers. No contact over the last three & a half years saved my life. I have lost 150 pounds & have spent most all my time alone. Finding good people is the hard thing. I will never allow anyone to ever abuse me again. Having two narcissistic sociopaths for parents & coming to the realization they never loved me was a hard pill to swallow. Now i know the hate, shame & blame was never mine to carry.
So glad you are finding your way! Congrats!
Hopefully giving up the burden of anger at them, realizing what broke them is what broke you, can keep you from dwelling in the dark place that was your past. That struggle took me up and down for a long time because i villainized my parents, believing they PERSONALLY broke me. Now that they aren't my demons they don't follow me around everywhere anymore. Really get to know the patterns of narcissistic behavior so you'll be able to start making connection confident that you can recognize the enemy. Be strong Warrior 💜
@@ateol this isn't a fact. I've seen a number of therapists. If you run into one that won't move past something you aren't going to work on w them you DON'T GO BACK. It's YOUR therapy.
Therapy is about moving forward these days with tools that help you change past patterns of behavior that end up leading you in repeated circles. There's a new breed of therapist available if you dare give one a try. No more bringing up your whole past history, retelling of our stories can in ITSELF trigger our CPTSD right!? They supply us w tools just like Anna does. I love having the input of the young lady i see. SHE is a survivor HERSELF! And sometimes, when i crawl out of a foxhole, she says, "i've never seen anyone use their strength like you just did, you're an amazing woman." And i know that my strength is helping her be stronger, and giving her a tool to pass along.
We're all connected thru our pain, and MORE importantly, when we reach out and grab on to one another, we bocome connected thru OUR HEALINGS. God bless your journey friend. Remember that fear is a liar that keeps us from reaching out and taking hold of what heals us. Take care of you Warrior 💜
🤗❤👍👍Thank you Anna for doing what you do and sharing your gifts with everyone. One thing I would add is that we are never too old to go deeply into the healing process which we have more than likely been sort of working on solo or with brief counselling for many years. Am I correct in thinking that healing is a journey not a destination? Happy New Year to you and and all other survivors on the healing path 💞💕
My therapist doesn’t. She’s wonderful. I have had a few bad ones and a few good ones. The one I have now is the best and I am sticking with her. She has helped me tremendously. She has the theory that you do not need to forgive to heal. I would never tell someone to not go to therapy. I think you just need to find the right person who understands your specific situation/trauma. While it is hard to find a therapist who truly understands narcissistic abuse, there are ones that understands trauma well and can help a lot. I think it is irresponsible to tell traumatized individuals to not seek professional help. Not all therapists are bad. You just need to be careful.
If you have trouble focusing, this might help you follow:
1. learn the science of CPTSD: ACE survey, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk , Complex PTSD by Pete Walker
2. learn to notice brain dysregulation: daily practice writing fears & resentments + meditation
3. get out of all unhealthy, dead-end, one-sided relationships
4. become a Jedi at being alone - no pining, no one using the other person, only people who care and support each other
5. stop spending money on therapy and cigarettes
6. exercise every day - so good for reregulating & calming emotions, for building self-confidence
7. stop all negative stuff: trash talking about other people, negative beliefs, black and white thinking, judgement of self and others, negative music
8. be a better friend: go to weddings, call people back
9. be a good worker: make the boss & the organization successful
10. learn to date
Nice summary!
Thank you this helped a lot.
Thank you 😊
Really appreciate this list. Thank you
Excellent. 11. Listen and practice BK Shivani principles
Right. Therapy wasn't as good as educating myself.
Abel Stearns right and ive had narcs tell me to not look everhthing up online like they knew
Narcs, man.
Maybe that wasn’t therapy then?
I feel you on this BUT I am not wasting money on therapy. I feel better which for me means I have the right therapist.
Same here! I'm on EMDR therapy and it works. Thanks to my therapist, I started to understand myself better. It is some hard work but it is worth it.
Definitely agree with you and feel the same!
yes, someone we click with is good
I've been in and out of therapy. My current therapist is a good person, but I just don't think it's helping. Sometimes a therapist will drop some profound wisdom on me that's actually actionable, but I just sick and tired of the vent-fest that my monthly sessions have turned into.
I recently heard Steven Kotler say in a video that you never rise to the occasion, but sink to your level of training. CPTSD is a particularly pernicious and stubborn kind of training. I then came across a quote from Robin Sharma: Ritualise your wisdom. The latter is going to be my mantra for the year. Once you've read the books, learned the lessons, it's time to commit and create daily practices. I believe if you 'do' your wisdom enough you will 'be' the change you're dreaming of.
Wishing everyone well on their recovery journeys in 2020 and thank you Anna for your generosity.
Thank you @Excel! You always have good insights.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you! Just following your lead. You're inspiring :)
I am ever so grateful for comments as so many other real life survivors have nuggets of wisdom to share, and have all been in the trenches themselves. I guess that's why AA etc are so popular, I had no idea.
I will be placing the quote from Robin Sharma: Ritualise your wisdom, where I can read it every morning. Thank you for sharing.
good one , thx
Body takes the score
Complex ptsd
Journal your fear and resentment
Leave dead end one sided relationship
Be Jedi of being alone
Stop spending money on therapy.
Exercise everyday.
Stop trash talking about anything and question your black and white thinking.
Negative music
Don’t abandon your friends
Leave crappy job
Learn to date
You do great summaries @JDB JDB. One thing I'd correct: It's not a journal! Journals are for remembering. Writing fears and resentments is to get rid of them.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Light Bulb moment :)
Thank you for writing the summary!
Cigerettes for some of us
It's the body KEEPS the score, not TAKES the score.
Thank you. Thank you so very much. I'm a 38 yr old single woman, I live alone & have few "close" people in my life. I've always felt different & you quite literally revealed my life to me. There isn't a thing you've said that doesn't mirror my experience & where I'm at in life. I scored a 10 on the ACE quiz. With this, I can be proactive. I'm hoping to turn things around before it's too late. Thank God for your commitment to helping others. Much love.
@Elizabeth! Thank you! Glad you are here!
@me too!
Wow, 10.
Elizabeth, I feel the exact same way as you. I wish there was a way we could chat more xo
@@ashvanmazz always helps to know others feel the same.
My wife and I both have C-PTSD, and we do Yoga and Qigong. It's been helping a lot to release the anxiety and stress that we feel in our bodies. Love to all, a happy New Year and may 2020 be a year of healing.
Ooooo, I love that you get to practice those things together. Sounds like a very positive marriage!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy We love doing it together! And yes, we're soulmates :)
Awwwww! Thanks for sharing this. This is so beautiful and it gives me hope in my recovery as a single person 🤍🤍🤍
I’ve been doing yoga off and on for 3 years and just learned qigong last month. Both are helping me in wonderful ways
I'm 28 and spent 10 years using alcohol to run from my abuse and trauma. I am going to try the things on your channel!
Watch also Richard Grannon?
What if my abuse led me into abusing, ruined my empathy and ability to love? The shame that comes with that is all consuming. Am I even capable of healing or even worth it
Yes. The only answer is yes and yes.
I believe that love, empathy and respect always need to be a two-way traffic. If you are not receiving that, you shouldn't feel bad about not giving that. Be very careful when choosing people who you surround yourself with and you will be fine. I hope it helps
If you feel that, then you can do it. Check out Richard Grannon and his emotional literacy .
@@annarehbinder7540 i second that! His course is easy to do and really connects you with yourself.
Realise that you are already aware of the problem. You also have the power to change.
"Become a Jedi at being alone."
Just wrote this on a post-it and stuck it on my desk. ^^ Happy new year, Anna!
Simon and Garfunkel said it - I am a rock, I am an i--i--is-land.
Meh, I think they were being snarky... referring to the "no man is an island" thing...
Jedi are the closest thing we have in our culture to a knight. But it's a good thing to emulate.
LOL! "Somebody has to save our skins!!!"
I am a jedi at being alone
Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving is on audiobook
Also Richard Grannon offers for free How to stop emotional flashbacks and emotional literacy if you go to his site
You're the only one who has mentioned music as a negative stimuli. Thank you.
She said "negative music", so not all music is bad.
@Daniel Dashnaw Oh my goodness. You have your opinion.
She's earned a Master's Degree and has additional training.
She's an outstanding expert, coach, and master. That's my opinion.
Her use of reason, communication, behavior modification, and knowledge of state of the art information on brain science and trauma is the most recent.
She's a highly qualified expert.
@Daniel Dashnaw Okay. Either way, she's helping me get through this toxic living environment more than most of my previous therapists.
@Daniel Dashnaw Well gee, I'm sorry I did not leave room for one more meaning that fits! Thank you for clarifying. I'm licensed in California to teach. (I live in Ohio)
CCF's pedagogical practices are outstanding, meaning that her delivery of information methods are effective and up to date in the field of education. The material or information is solid and accurate as far as I can see as a professional coach, and having some formal academic training and experience.
No matter how much we know, it is good to refresh oneself and listen to some of the best. CCF is among the best in my opinion. Her own healing appears evident. Having gone through the experience and being a well educated woman and I'm assuming well read in this area, she was able to create a refined and outstanding curriculum and plan for others to use for healing and support! CCF should win an award!
@Daniel Dashnaw Yep! 😀 I'm familiar with EMDR but not DT. It will dawn on me after I hit "send" LOL! Please help. And again, I agree, her content and delivery is outstanding! I could analyze all the great components, but there's not enough time. God bless you.
Because of your videos I felt a sense of possibility and hope that I haven’t felt in years. Thank you.
1. Learn the sience of complex PTSD and childhood PTSD (Book recommendation : "The body keep the score" by Bessel van del Kolk ; "Complex PTSD" by Pete Walker)
2. Notice the brain dysregulation (Writing fears and resentments followed by meditation twice a day)
3. Get out of unhealthy dead-end one sided relationship
4. Become a Jedi at being alone
5. Stop spending money on therapy and cigarettes
6. Exercice every day
7. Stop all the negative things in life (Start with your own trash talking of other people)
8. Be a better friend
9. Be a good worker
10. Learn to date
I am 57, I started on this road two years ago. What a shock after spending my life thinking it was me who was 'bad'. It's like my brain was assembled wrong, or more likely, taken apart and put back together wrong! I don't have too much time left :( When a wonderful person showed me the truth it was amazing.
I'm having so much trouble relearning how to interact as a friend. As a young child I lived to socialise and have parties but since then I've had no friends and missed learning socialising in my teens. I am good with strangers, do charity work and am great at sales and networking, but not on interpersonal relationships. It's hard. When I try to interact as a friend I feel like I am playing a game that I don't know how it works and there is no instruction manual!
:)
Yes! Good to hear! I'm 56 and just started on this journey.
I learned to be less judgmental and that was through therapy.
Almost cried listening to u …. U r an angel u nailed it! Thk u so so much
This was recommended to me. I suddenly felt like crying.
“Sometimes things not going my way, is what progress looks like”. For me, maybe the best Sentence out of your video. Thank you
Yes! Thank you!
I feel you!!!! That hit so hard and made so much sense
Good morning. Thank you for this. Even though it’s a 9 minute video you covered a LOT. I had to pause it half way through. And take a deep breath.
I had to pause to NOT GET OVERWHELMED.
Being alone can be one of the best things.
But also one of the worst things. We need connection.
But if that connection is with the wrong people it can severely damage your sense of self.
I’ve found that being in nature is something that helps heal me and calms me.
Even in a crowded city we are still with nature. There’s a bird singing somewhere. Or a tree. The sun and the clouds are part of nature.
On my down days especially I try to look up at the sky. And breathe.
Even when my mood is low and the clouds are covering the sun. I remind myself that, the sun is still here and still shining. And my low mood or whatever I’m going through... WILL PASS.
🙏🏽❤️
Thanks for sharing with us! There is a lot of information, learning, connecting and healing available in Crappy Childhood Fairy world :)
bit.ly/2rukHvh
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for your recommendations. I just ordered one of the books you recommended in an attempt to heal from an abusive relationship that lasted for 6 years. I've been free for almost 5 years now and while I've started a new life and have been healing my finances, I still struggle with uncontrollable panic attacks and I can't bring myself to trust people anymore. I'm trying to find reasonable solutions.
Thank you Anna. I started your program yesterday. Wow what an experience to list childhood events and how they may have affected me. I still need to finish that as it was kind of tough but cathartic to do. One thing I disagree with is that all talk therapy should be thrown out the window; it really depends on the therapist. Without my third and final therapist I would not be on this journey with you continuing my healing. She helped heal me in a kind - not flawless - but human and humane way and I love her for it. It was money well spent and helped me and my son. Best wishes for 2021 x
You are a LITERAL ANGEL SENT FROM GOD. I seriously am so grateful for you.
YOU MATTER. I agree with EVERYTHING you say in this video and you are quite literally incredible. It’s hard not to cry watching your videos Bc the gratitude is so high 🙏 😭 thank you so much.
Thank you!!!
I have been trying to rush my healing because I’m 75, and I want to have a few years to live a healed life before I die. This video gave me hope that, having this short cut, it could actually happen!❤
I really enjoy being alone. In fact, I have forced myself to be alone so far in 2020. (I am in an unhealthy relationship that cannot be exited at the time). But, I did join a gym & I plan on exercising. I am a great worker, I love work!
Thank you for this and what you share. Met with a new therapist today who specializes in cptsd, needing the support. Hearing what you say, I know I'm on the right track, for sure, have a grasp on almost all you say here. New stage of healing.
You strap on your running shoes babe! You're so BRAVE! New therapists can be so awesome once you take the big leap and GO. My new one is also trained in trauma therapy! She's got a whole TOOLBOX of stuff i wanna try!
Fly like the wind fellow Warrior 💜
I love you too Crappy Childhood Fairy!!!! These are fantastic 10 things to do. Thank you to everyone healing themselves - as you heal, you are healing the world. Fortune Favors the Bold. I can do it. You can do it. We can do it. Thank you, Fairy.
5 solid years of recovery and truth. I wished that I did it 5 yrs earlier when I got sober but it's the will of the universe...honest now
I agree with most of this, though the tip to stop therapy is extremely damaging. Therapy provided by someone experienced with the treatment of CPTSD is a gamechanger and shouldn't be disregarded.
You are wonderful. I have been always wondering why I'm so depressed and why sometimes it is so hard to control my anger. Your videos explained everything and enable me to start my journey to heal. Thank you thank you thank you.
I just want to say thank you. I found one of your videos on Monday and decided to give the Daily Practice a go straight away, it just felt right. I know it’s been a very short time but I can already see a huge change inside my mind and in my days. I’m present and mindful in a way I haven’t experienced with any other self care practice/techniques I’ve tried. Watching your other videos and getting to know your story was also life changing, I felt understood. You are a wonderful, brave, sweet and inspiring person. I’m looking forward to watching more of your videos, continue with the daily practice and doing this one year work sheet. Again, thank you!♥️
I have really appreciated my last two therapists and have learned so much. I did download those books in audio so I will start those soon.
:)
At 65 years old I have known all these things but didn't know how practical this advice is.
I guess this is helping me to get it down to a list!
Thanks Anna
You are most welcome, I'm glad it was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for taking time to make these videos ! So many people are suffering from " Childhood PTSD " and don't even know it ! We need to get the word out !
I love the idea of writing fears and resentments before meditation instead of all this crap about writing about gratitude! This is new for me :)
I disagree about gratitude. Finding things to be grateful for has helped me a great deal.
@Daniel Dashnaw And/or what works for one person/most people doesn't work for all people, and that's okay. Science is a process, not a factual destination, ESPECIALLY in the 'soft sciences'. By the way, the vast majority of results of studies in the field of Psychology are non-replicable. I wouldn't throw in too heavily with 'what the science says' if it means invalidating a significant number of other people's experiences. And I certainly wouldn't do it with the amount of surety, smugness and glee that you seem to in this comment section. But that's just me.
And, just because I've noticed you basically copy/paste your 'not a therapist and it shows' comment all over the place: What about the multitude of professional licensed therapists who misdiagnosed/mishandled CPTSD cases based on the 'best available evidence' for DECADES up until relatively recently when there's finally been a shift? What about the non-zero number of professional licensed therapists who are more interested in running up/out the clock in therapy sessions rather than making any meaningful difference in peoples lives? I'd throw in with Crappy Childhood Fairy any day of the week over the vast majority of professional Psychologists/Psychiatrists I've come across in my lifetime.
Wow, gratitude is crap? What world do you live in?
~I do gratitude, unless im already swarming in resentments~Also, gratitude heals the brain faster than anything else known!~
God said about being grateful for all things. This are making us better and stronger.
Just found you yesterday. Saw this one tonight. I Love You, Thank You for helping all of us! I am already on the path of your 10 and I’m proud to say, on my own. So happy to know I’m doing right and in the right path. I am so Happy to have found you. You are a Blessing! Thank You and Blessings to you Abundantly always!🙏🏼🤗😘🥰♥️
Welcome aboard!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have loved ones who are reluctant to seek therapy. While I find their choice very hard to understand, your videos have opened me up to the possiblity that there are other ways to heal. I will share your content with them.
Oh good! Thanks for sharing that!
Thank you Anna. You are my fairy. You have helped me understand that it is not my fault. This has changed my outlook and has helped me.
Somatic therapy is the only true therapy for those with CPTSD, but I agree, talk therapy is useless.
Id disagree, with a therapist I have learned a skill i was never taught. To value my feelings and my experinces.
What's somatic therapy? Please give examples.
@@annae9013 hi Anna, look up somatic experiencing, and Dr. Peter Levine. In short, it's engaging the right brain in exercises that move stored trauma out of the body. Using the left brain keeps trauma trapped and recirculating in the body (ie, dissociation) which is why often patients who use talk therapy don't see good results. The belief is we can't use logic to heal trauma, we have to feel through it. Animals do this is nature when they outrun predators by shaking vigorously, but we hold on as a species and don't allow our bodies to process through our survival mode. Thus, stored trauma, PTSD, and even physical ailments.
@@seeliekeely thank you I will! I did neurogenic yoga a few years ago.
@@annae9013 what is neurogenic yoga?
Great video, per usual. I really enjoy your videos. You have an engaging, articulate way of conveying your message. Please don’t stop making more.
I've got big plans @Michelle! Videos are going to keep coming! Thanks for your kind words!
Good list of things to check off. Have I done these things or not? What areas I still need to work on. Excellent checklist!
Glad it was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
I am getting the Stellate Ganglion Block asap. I spent the last year running, screaming in the streets while in twice-weekly therapy sessions. I read and reread the book. I exercised daily. I just survived long term abuse that rekindled childhood trauma. What happened to me was my fight or flight mechanism was always on. This is a biological brain issue. Now I have hope, real lasting hope.
This was eye opening. A couple of these points (negative thoughts, work ethic, exercise, dating, read the Body Keeps Score) are things that are vaguely swirling around me, you were able to form them into sentences. I wasn’t really seeing their interconnectedness before.
This was so excellent. I think I'll call you mom, Ann. Lol. I've always needed one. You're the closest to one I right now. I won't mention that age-wise we could be sisters. :)
Thank you for free therapy. Today I listened to about 4 hours of videos and you clarified and brought me understanding and a desire to practice better self care. (Huge!!)
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
These videos are high value. Not a single wasted word.
Thank you so much!
You are so relatable. Thank you for your selfless gifts you're sharing with us all.
I wish you love and light to continue being a lightworker, always.
Namaste.
Yess, I avoid most negative music nowadays as well, especially the ones with a lot of self-pity, like some Nirvana songs I used to love as a teen. If I listen to some sad soul music I like to sing along with a lot of feeling and at least that's fun, but no more depressing 'i hate myself' type of music for me
Your channel gives me so much hope that I don't have to keep being the same person I used to be
You got this!
Love you, Anna! Thank you for being a light of love and healing in my path. Can't thank you enough for "bringing sense" to my life and giving me clear direction to heal. ALSO, I can't wait to join you again in the next retreat ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
Lorelein! Miss you and your hilarious sense of humor! It was so great to meet you at the retreat!!!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This video is outstanding and very encouraging and a very humble way and a path to get your life back and to respect yourself and to regain the love that we all deserve. Thank you so much
Oh Anna, what a gift you bring 🙏⭐🙏
Your material is just Gold, thank you
Glad that you're enjoying it. Thank you for watching! - Ashley, Team Fairy
Thank you Anna! I'm so blessed that you share what you learned so we all can be free 💚 May YOUR new year be one of clarity, spiritual deepening, and that ONE THING the Holy Spirit knows is your deepest need, in Jesus' name, amen 💛
Thank you @Joyful One! Happy New Year!
Thank you for sharing your "hindsight is 20/20" perspective. Very valuable
hi Anna Runkle ,please allow me to just say that you are utterly radiant, the sparkle or glow in your eyes is simply unreal, out of this world.
I inadvertently stumbled across this channel at perhaps the exact right moment in time and space.
My goodness, how bright you shine ma'am!!
I'll never be able to be free from depression and anxiety. Family life was abusive, loveless, resentful and never there for me. Even when I was attacked and abducted. No one asked if I was okay, showed any concern, just resented. Whst a life.
A great video. This is what I´m doing for 3 years now, too - getting out of dead-end relationships with significant people cause I got to the point where there was enough drama all over the years and I knew if I go on like this I will not leave my flat anymore. Some call me hard and rigorous for doing this!!!! The quality of the only 2 friends now is much better, but the same acquaintances or domineering people with narcissistic features still blame, shame and trigger me so badly, that I still have to redo my contacts and some contacts I keep just in public and courses because only then I´m safe with them. Indeed this is a good question- if you don´t know what is your goal or bottom-line(no go) you will simply not change it. And I just work so with rules and questions, some people think these are rigorous and tight, but I have my goals. My credo is feeling pity with the ones you have to leave behind but don´t confuse love or friendship with pity! If you can´t say no, you can´t say yes from the heart either.
Yes! I don't know if you've checked out my dating/relationships course, but it's all about this. It's how I changed the course of my life and found a GOOD man and created a solid marriage. It took real structure and willingness to stop running my romantic life by intuition (not reliable when CPTSD has the steering wheel). I took a lot of crap from other people about my "rules" and over time, I've noticed that people can feel profoundly threatened by anyone working to order a disordered love life. We all love our freedom. For some of us though, structure is what sets us free. courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com
So glad I found this. Confirms the path I'm on. Just finished reading Pete Walker's and Bessel van der Kolk's books. Also, found 'The Narcissist in Your Life' by Julie Hall really good. With the lock down I've been exercising daily, doing yoga. Still need to spend more time meditating :) Thanks for your videos.
1. Science of complex PTSD
2. Brain dis-regulations
3. Quickly get out of unhealthy relationships
4. Jedi at being alone
5. Stop spending money on therapy and cigarette
6. Exercise everyday
7. Stop trash talking-black and white thinking
8. Be a better friend
9. Be a better worker
10. Learn to date
What you said about jobs really resonated with me. Here's the million-dollar question: but with all this baggage, how is it even POSSIBLE to find a job that makes one happy? Every job I've had these past several years has been a "negative-wave amplifier."
I get it, some of this comes from inside. But as someone who's been unemployed for many months solely over NEW PTSD suffered through work, I feel nothing but shut down after all this time off, with a "crash-to-street" a real possibility in the months ahead. Because my only job that pays enough to keep me in housing and bills paid is also a very toxic career field, these days. And I haven't been able to will myself to go back in.
I'd consider this a growth emergency. If you want to try my techniques, they can help in situations like this (and on good days too). My free course is called The Daily Practice. It's on the Free Tools page of my website crappychildhoodfairy.com
@classical chameleon I think a part of my problems has been that I've always settled at that: a job is just for paying bills. Much has changed since my initial response 10 months ago. I have left the Healthcare field. In pursuit of one of my childhood dreams, I'm actually out driving a truck (semi) through the lower 48 states. And it more than fits the bill: I love my work life, it pays well, and most days I'm like, "I'm actually HAPPY at work!". I did go homeless in a way: I live in my truck, and without the housing payment, utility bills, and related expenses, I'm achieving longer term financial goals. So there can be happy endings: you just have to keep looking until you find what works for you.
I healed from coping mechanism trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) and my cpstd is healing because I'm becoming more aware of my triggers and working on getting self respect and boundaries.
Great news!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you so much Anna, may we all walk in time through and beyond our wildest and highest dreams
Nice.
You have made me start to consider a career in neuroscience so thank you for sharing your experience!
This was such a lovely presentation packed with great ideas.
Thank you @Roxy!
This is my favorite video of yours so far. You are straight forward, and I appreciate that. No fluff. Thank you.
Thank you!
I regularly worked out at the gym for about 30 years, from about 20 until 50. I also suffered a major depression in my early twenties. I think that exercise helped me and saved my life more than anything else.
That's great, thanks for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I can relate to your video's. Have recently come across your teachings. To my surprise, You have very much describes
me. Wow, have been to counseling, didn't
seem to help much??? Depression is on going. I battle it everyday. The hurt is sometimes over whelming. But, I push
through. Knowing that tomorrow will be better. One day at a time. So far so good.
Very hard to find someone to talk to.? I
just keep on keeping on. Right, believing
tomorrow's a better day. Just wanted to thank you. Knowin that there is hope.🌹
I'm glad the work resonates with you, thank you for being here
I love this---it's sort of like the Magic Question and really hooks that hope within our hearts.
I am going to commit to doing this for 2020! Thanks soooooo much!!! You are my number one helper right now out of all the video creator’s I have watched on RUclips!
Glad I can be helpful @Sol!
Thank you so much for all your videos, Anna, but especially this one, as it's where I find myself right now.
Such an important point about the music 05:31. Very few people mention this, I observed the same here.
Thank you so much Anna, I watch your video everyday cause it really motivates me to keep going with my healing journey.
Recently, I realised I was being a crappy friend as someone getting closer or expecting things from me made me retreat.... I obviously didn't intend on hurting people, but I was a hypocrite as that trait in partners was something I was always finding and complaining about. Its quite difficult to realise you're unavailable deep down when all you want is close connection.
Thanks for sharing! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you, Anna, this list is awesome! Answered prayers 🙏🏼💖
Aww! That made me well up at the end there.. I'm glad to have found your work as I'm on a journey of making sense of the chaos of my life.. and all the advice that you give here, is gold. Interesting what you say, regarding therapies.. unfortunately many counsellors and therapists lack education in this area. Bodywork and talk therapies can be hugely helpful but so important to make sure they are trauma informed before investing time money and energy. Thank goodness for RUclips and Thank YOU for everything that you share x
Thank you for these kind words, @Phoebe. I'm glad you're here!
@ Phoebe Riordan . Yes!!!! Thank goodness for RUclips !!!! And the Fairy Fabulous!!!!
I love this channel and after years of searching for what was "wrong" with me, I found this channel after I began accepting myself. Its definitely childhood PTSD though.
Me too :)
I agree with most of what you said. Ditching therapy doesn't sound like a good idea. Maybe ditch the therapist instead for a better one who is trauma informed. I disagree with "making your boss successful and putting away your emotions at work." Especially since I'm writing this in Dec 2020. Haven't we all learned that companies don't care if we live or die? And I spent waaaaay too many years trying to fit what others wanted so now companies and bosses who clearly don't care about you or their employees can suck it. I'm not playing that game anymore and for me, that is part of my healing.
Mountains are moving,
Change is ensuing,
If I stay in the present, I will know what I'm doing.
But if I react, on feelings long past, I'm certain to return to a change that can't last.
-hvb
Wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your clear and simple to handle and encouraging messages and examples. I find many points, some making me feel uneasy, but nevertheless justified. Very sincerely from Germany. (age 60 and still healing!)
So relating to it! And sooooo many valuable, helpful information. THANK YOU
Hearing you say I love i made me cry.
This was so helpful because I realized I was already making about 3-4 of the changes on my own 🎉 yay! I don’t do everything wrong I make good changes for myself.
It's good you are making positive changes. We are glad to have you here. Jack@TeamFairy
Thank you I was doing most of them since 1 year now I will complete with the tips. thank you for helping us healing ♥️
You are a Lovely Creature indeed. Happy New Year Anna. Peace.
Thank you to a fellow lovely creature!
Thank you so much for this! This is exactly what I need!
Love love love this video! So good and so wise!😃 I hope I come back and listen to this video to remember to implement these ideas.
I just read Complex ptsd by Pete Walker and it changed everything for me. It taught me to recognize when Im catastrophizing, going down a road of negative thinking and shame and what to do. All I had previously was the shame of not being able to control my mind but now that I know whats happening and how to 'fix' it I have less shame.
You're phenomenal for using your experiences to help in such a big way. I'm so glad I found this. Much needed. 💖
Good idea, setting a time frame. I will definitely slack off or give up without one. Dating seems so out of the question for me, but I've found encouraging info for people may age, and will keep working on independent therapeutic research first. 💚
Thank you sooo much I really appreciate what you’re doing to help people 🙏
Thanks for recordig this video! I found it at the right time to give me a little hope.
Yes! Have hope!!!
Hi Mrs. Runckle, thank you so much for this video. I am 44 and have such a feeling of wasted time over the last 25 years that I find this video a real blessing to help me catching up as much as I can.
Again many thanks for sharing your experiences.
I know the feeling. And you'll be glad to know that when you can learn to re-regulate and start working on the life -problems that go with CPTSD, catching up happens much faster than learning these things the old fashioned way -- by being young, and having parents to teach it to you. Life gets better!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I am starting to feel the progress and the difference in my life already: observation of my thoughts and the escalation leading to self destructive behaviours, more patience, less overwhelmed by my fears and emotions caused by them, and letting things come to me instead of reacting emotionally at them. Thank you so much again for the work you are doing and the love you are spreading by doing so.
Have great 2020 holidays!
You’ve helped me so much
I really appreciate this, especially with a new year around the corner.👍
Love this video. I will doing the clean eating again in Jan. I done it before and lost 80 pounds by cutting processed sugar food. You get an energy like no other when your system is not so drained.
Thank you so much!
There is almost no chance without therapy. But it's incredibly difficult to find a therapist who can help you. But once you truly find the right one, everything will change. Don't ever think you can heal complex ptsd on your own, though. This is not possible.
Happy New year!! Thank you for sharing your life lessons! You're awesome!