Infinity percent. What I did was give him something else that I pretended was an issue. He used it against me and I was fine cos it wasn't a big deal. Guard your heart!
yes. but only if one realizes during it, that you've got to get out. and that time when he's torturing you through the silent treatment is the best time to wake up.
@@dominiquevalencia6146 okay. then you're handling it well, Dominique! add a pleasurable vacation as well. The more you do for yourself will help you see what the jerk really is. believe me, it will happen. For, what best to do for yourself on your way to dump him? Enjoy your spa day! by the way, you have a lovely name!
@@dominiquevalencia6146 Well, then you're responding to his torture as well as possible, on your way to dump the jerk! add a pleasurable vacation and a few margaritas while having fun. Enjoy!
My boyfriend this morning. He has to call me to get his packages from the package room but haven’t talked to me or slept in the same bed with me in 4 days. I saw him call me and I knew what it was. Ignited him just so he verbally ask me. Because you gone ask for what you want.
To protect yourself, you must keep narcissists and other negative people in check. There is freedom in saying No, Let It Go, and I Don't Care. Doing what you can to make the world a better place can also help. Care about yourself in positive ways. People who are secure and mentally strong are not as attractive to narcissists, as insecure, caring, and emotionally needy people. Prayer also helps if you are a Believer. Demons fear prayer. God is the nemesis of all demons.
SILENT TREATMENT is nothing but a childish cowardliness, a lack of personal accountability. I believe it stems from a lack of emotional intelligence. It is an abusive, behavior, motivated by the narcissistic desire to control/punish/ manipulate another human being. It’s the adult narcissist’s version of a child’s “holding my breath until you give in and give me what I want.” It seems to be one of the favorite tactic of infantile narcissists. Oh, and the more you hurt and express/show your feelings to them, the more they enjoy doing it. So, DONT FEED THE TOXICITY. Take a good LAUGH at this GROWN BABY HOLDING THEIR BREATH and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. They may grow out of it by age 4 or 5 …maybe ….who knows 😂.
It's the worst feeling....being shut out and I would get so emotional each time and it would happen again and again...and I would be blocked and unblocked. It was mental torture.
Yess!! You hit the nail on the head 👏 that's exactly right! They throw temper tantrums and they badger you in a way to wear you down. That's why we're so tired and confused 😕 for me he did the same thing in the beginning. On me on me constantly to get me to marry him 6 months after meeting him. He's a pastor im a Christian woman and of course I thought God was telling him "marry her" he didn't want to give me time to think for myself. I said let's go slow court me for once I wanted to go slow. This wasn't my first narcissist relationship 😩yes I know, but to my credit I literally prayed for a Christian man. Wow!! It's him.....I've learned when we speak out loud our desires the devil also listens the same way God can bring someone so can the enemy. I know this is a "religious thing " but if I'd waited I would have seen his mask slipping. It was a whirlwind relationship. Now I'm in the middle of a divorce protection order it's a mess. The RED FLAGS WERE THERE!!! but I said no it's just me being unsure of my own past choices so I looked passed them. They were fire 🔥 red. So paying the price now. I want to be alone for a while before any other relationship that's for sure! Of course he's pleading for me to not follow through with the divorce but too much has happened and I'd hate myself and probably not survive it next time. Good luck to all the victims of these people toxic narcissist or just toxic people in general. 🙌❤️
@@evolutiondez2.092 I feel you dear! I really do. One thing that truly helped me is to learn how to care for my needs, wants and boundaries and actually express them in a healthy manner again. Focus back all that energy towards yourself to move forward towards your divine destiny. We can’t have 2 gods, it’s either one or the other. I chose to listen to that yet small voice, to choose life and life more abundantly! ❤️❤️❤️ You can DO IT!
@@candacestone2211 I know dear! But we can decide to proactively soothe our own needs instead of getting constantly neglected by this other human being, who is even unable to meet their own needs or love themselves.
That's what I go through. I feel like I can't even talk on the phone. Bc his insecure ass is always eavesdropping. Then take things I say and twist them and starts arguments! Smh
@@tilajohnson3279 damn sounds like what I go thru...she always going thru my phone or asking me who I'm talking to and already knows the answer because I don't have many friends or family. I never went thru her phone or do I care who she is talking to on social media...but some I'm just living a life she don't know about
I can beat a narcissist by beating him in his own game of the silent treatment. I do that very well. And the outcome of me ignoring the narcissist ends up in a conversation and he gives in and starts talking to me. I just love it when I'm the stronger one he's the weakest one. Taste of his own medicine yes you damn right. I'm a TRUE Pisces Woman.
Exactly my husband did something I pointed it out yesterday and he got upset and said he didn't want to talk. Today is a new day he still hasn't apologized or said anything to me. SMH
@Jennifer King This thing still hasn't reached out to me but It💩 calls the brother in law.....like seriously. I'm on day-4 Children act better than you man-child spouses🤦♀️🤣!!!!
Haha! I use to Love it too! Peace and quiet! I am giving him a taste of his own medicine mine is more powerful 🤣 I am giving him The Silent Treatment for ETERNITY! Walked out of his life forever and BLOCKED HIM! He has not seen or heard from me again since that day 😁 1 Year Free from his Immature Foolishness! BOY BYE 👋
Same. Pulled this cut off nose to spite face shit but was my fault. Spiteful yet too gutless to be honest so ghosted knowing it used to hurt. Makes me laugh now though haha. Tables turn eventually guys.
Your right !!! Explains why my wife stopped speaking to me. Once I started calling her out for it see said I am “crazy” whole time I was raising her son for her. Never again These type of people are DEMONIC and work for the devil Lesson learned ✊🏽💯
That's what finally got me to cease contact with a narcissist. He sounded like he was demonically possessed. I've never heard anything so evil in my life. It's been two years, but I stay loaded and locked. It sounds bad, but I am gloriously free from him.
@@janebuchanan3684 I agree! At times, I would see this flash of evil in his eyes. Especially when he choked me or he was raging, it was like he was this evil being I've never seen
Yessss my soon to be ex Husband tried that!! At first the silent treatment lasted a few days but by the time I left him it had increased to 2 months! With us in the same house!! Within that last 2 month block I promise you the fog was lifted and I knew exactly what I was dealing with! And yes he tried to speak to me afterwards acting as though "we've both been busy for the past few days." I played stupid right along with him because within that time frame I'd already secured somewhere else to live! 🙌🏽
You can wrong a narcissist by not buying into their lies. It's an endless cycle of abuse. The narcissist need a victim to play into their story. If you stop playing your character, they WILL punish you!
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD same here !! I am doing this right now also , all because i didnt give her the control that she wanted , so that she can control her own narrative and that f***ing " image " she has to maintain about herself so profoundly
Yes, I called him out big time and he stonewalled me, left me and our two teens, and still giving silent treatment and being petty. I just turned 50 last week and have been with him for 24 years, married 22, so I am so done! The ONLY reason I'm not filing divorce is to not put our 14 year old through it.
It was during silent treatment, my mind was at peace and my mind begin to think. In that 3 days, I checked up 'silent treatment' in relationship and it led me to looking into lovebombing, gaslighting, boundaries issue, loads of trust issue, jealousy, flashy in materials, divert my questions all the time to realisation of walking on egg shell when talking to him and not being myself in a bad way. 90% checked in the list that I saw for a Narc. Brothers and sisters, love yourself. If you find yourself not loving for who u are after with him/her, something is wrong.
@@equanimity4506 actually that was my super red light cuz he was pushing my line and testing my boundaries over and over, I stood firm and then that's y I realised it has a pattern. When I didn't budge and got angry, he apologies, we made up but he gave me silent treatment the next day. I was like 'huh???, did he apologised but now ignore me?" Leaving me confused
Silent Treatment is also given when you point out their flaws, lack of gowth or accountablity. Its easier to ignore a problem than to face it in their opinion. Most hope that you will miss the lil crumbs they give you and settle for what they are not. Its a way of pressuring you to continue in their childish ,immature toxic ways
My ex hubs passed this narcissistic behavior on to my daughter and she has chosen as an adult to gaslight me, ghost me, and discard me. Therefore, as an empty-nester, I'm enjoying the silence. I raised her pretty much by myself since her narc father was completely self-absorbed and I'm glad I don't have to deal with that mess. I miss the good times with my child, but peace is PRICELESS!!🙏🏾💜
God bless you, know that you will get great deeds in life and blessings from God, your karma will be amazing when we do good in the world it comes back to us ten times better :) I'm proud of you just from hearing your story, you sound like an amazing mother 🦋✨ sending love your way 💗
Experiencing the same behavior for my two teens. I’ve learned to enjoy the silence and wish them well on their journey in life. I’m also married to a narc whom is currently on a vacation with karma. I am just sitting back watching this unfold after being treated so horribly by them 😢😊
Finally, another Mom going through the same thing that I am. I just haven't had anyone that understands what it's like for a Sister, who was born and raised in the South, like I was, to have a narcissistic child! The discovery, the questions, the confusion, the confirmation, the denial and finally the acceptance. Now what?
Hi, can I ask how he was able to pass it on to her seeing that you raised her? Did you not see signs of it in her as q child and could you not correct it? I'm genuinely curious please. Thank you
I took my child to therapy. She knows that she has it, but she does not act on those urges. It's still there, but she's aware. Her father was around for 13 years.....the damage was the worst thing I've ever experienced.
On August 9th, the narcissist I was dealing with came to visit me, we were intimate. He got a “phone call” from a friend. He said his friend wanted to borrow money so he had to go meet him. I asked if he was coming back, he said yes!!! Haven’t talked to me since. I texted him all that night and several days after that. We’ve been “together” since 2013. Until this episode, I didn’t realize I was dealing with a narcissist!! They are horrible people!!
@@Oneworld-nc2kb nah. He probably had another chick and she have birth to their baby so he rushed off and decided to stay with his new family . It's disgusting.
My narc ex pulled the "silent treatment" card one too many times. I blocked him. ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE and FOR ALL TIMES. THAT is the silence I can enjoy now.💕🥰
Silent treatment and disappeared for days. Literally over me expressing my feelings. Plus he’s a addict, alcoholic. Upon his return, there was never any discussion of what the heck happened. I get some people need a cooling off period, but days upon days after me pleading for his return. My gosh, I ask myself every single day…… how could I have been so so stupid to get involved with this man. So true……INTENT, MOTIVES .
Omg sounds like my ex anything that reminded him as confrontation he will hang the phone up on me & I’ll call etc he won’t pick up for days or weeks &finally pick up when he wants like nothing ever happened & he drunk wine all fucking day ! Long story short I dealt with this for 7 months & cut his ass off he tried coming back I laughed heard his bs & never took em serious again
"Enjoy the silence" Absolutely :) Back when I *finally* figured out the bizarre emotional patterns of my then husband, I learned to just enjoy the silent treatment. Before that I would always ask "what's wrong?", "what are you mad about?" "Did I do something to upset you?", "Why won't you talk to me?" and on and on and on. It only took me 30 years with the guy before one day I just mentally stepped back and observed our behavior from a 3rd person perspective. I realized our interactions were just a weird mental/emotional dance, and I was a great dance partner for him. From that day on, I became totally non-reactive to him. It was 3 years after I divorced him that I learned there was actually name for people like him.
I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years and it's only when you step back and look at it that you say enough. I too have moved on from him, that was 4 months ago. I called him out in public and caused a narcissists injury. That didn't go down to well. However I am not complaining, I am now enjoying my own life for me. Peace and contentment for me. What a wonderful life, free from the narcissists behaviour. Enjoying every moment now with a better understanding of the meaning of life.
My husband told me during my last month with him that we were going to sleep in separate beds until I stop disobeying him (by not letting him lie and manipulate me without calling him out), and I told him "Great. Because the last thing I want to do is to sleep close to someone who I don't feel close to" He told me after a few days of separation perhaps I will realize my wrong-doings and fix myself. I told him I wanted us to sleep separately anyways. That's why I sometimes took his pillow and blanket and put it on another bed to let him know I don't want to be near him. And he got upset that I was SO elated at the though of us sleeping separately. He realized that I didn't see it as a punishment but a blessing to sleep separately. And this made his brain break. So then he threatened that he would be harsher on me and make me do more chores around the home and sleep deprive me by making me do random things until late into the night. Mind you- at the time I was on my first trimester of my first pregnancy (due in two months) and had EXTREME fatigue. And I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety and his treatment was making me have horrible abdominal pain and he refused to take me to a doctor (we were living in a foreign country). I was having panic attacks that left me cramping for two weeks straight. When I left him I was 12 weeks and got a check up immediately as he refused to take me to a doctor until I was 16 weeks. Having a narcassitic father and being so tired of the treatment my whole life (my husband is way worse than my father and they have different styles of treatment) allowed me to finally get the courage to leave. And your videos helped me understand a lot of things more clearly and allowed me to realize that this is not what I wanted to subscribe to for the rest of my life.
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD Sewing as how I now Iive on the other side of the planet from him, and the fact that he isn't a citizen of my country (and has never been to my country), I would venture to say I am safe. I used to have a TS/SCI job so I know how to hide if I wish.
I’m happy for you, mine used religion against me for 20 years, meanwhile he was partying and cheating outside the home. He was a nightmare until I became strong enough and physically sick actually, to finally get out! They are horrible creatures and deserve the worst 🙏🏻
Disappearing not answering phone calls being indirect about things ghosting you not communicating with you avoiding accountability blaming you for everything using you using your past against you and the list goes on all of these are narcissistic traits and the only reason my ex silenced me was because he knew what he did was wrong point blank period 💯
Oh yeah and not to mention getting on Facebook making posts about him and how he is this perfect guy he tried to portray himself like a GOD ! But in reality he is a coward
The silent treatment is how 12 year old girls treat each other. I remember one of our work colleagues in healthcare used to behave like this, and the others called her out about it in a team meeting. She tried to say it was part of her culture, but the manager called BS and told her if she behaves like that she was in the wrong place and should leave to go work in a library, which made everyone laugh. She didn’t stay long after that.
4.5 months of silent treatment so far. The first 2 months I spoke my mind, in shorts as he scurried away or stayed silent, I pointed out his abuse and his greedy intentions. I did ask “are you ever going to talk to me?” He stated “eventually”. I gave up. I served him mid September. SILENCE and emotional discard is the reason for divorce among all the unnecessary lies, stealing and cheating. I hope to never talk to him again. Smfh can wait until this part of life with a covert is over.
I am the same after 35 years with my narcissists husband. Silent treatment for calling him out on his behaviour. I discarded him, sent him packing and went no contact. 4 months on and life is much better without the narcissists. The meaning of life is better each day without the narcissists.
I had the silent treatment for about 3 months. He left the house, took his playstation and a few clothes. After I realized ( or thought) he was never coming back and started to enjoy the silence and make plans to move back with my family is when he finally came back with his playstation. Not with him anymore by the way. Left him five months after that.
The silent treatment reopens the wounds inflicted during childhood. There's studies showing that infants being ignored by their mothers suffer terribly. It's cruel. The nasty cyst is digging into those deep wounds.
"you wrong them when you hold them accountable" those words make sense as to why he is giving me the silent treatment. "She doesn't deserve these words" is another I didn't realize is his way of "punishing me" with his silent treatment. "wasting his life and breath if he spoke to me." This is my first time coming across your channel and I am so grateful you showed up. Thank you!! Yes, he knows the silent treatment sets me off.
So true... My ex used this as punishment and a harsh way to discard me without dealing with any accountability...Coward! Very selfish and immature ..He started an argument for no reason 4 days before a planned trip ..He cancelled everything, gaslighted me, then told his family I was the crazy one after I called him out on his BS... Discarded me through a text message then blocked me on his phone. Two months of NC...getting stronger everyday..At first I was extremely hurt, and confused but after binge watching videos on Narcissism I have more clarity .The nail in the coffin was when his Sister told me that he was seeing another woman that he met on line while he was with me towards the end..I'm sure she was probaly in the picture long before...It was painful to hear the truth but it gave me some closure ... I will continue to try to stay positive, and keep my head up. I know my worth, I ❤ deserve true love and respect. ..
By January off 2022, the verbal abuse was so horrible I had the police remove my narcissist after filing for divorce. He hasn't spoken a word to me since. It's been fantastic! And it gives me time to heal.
I understand that “enjoying”. It took me a long time to get healthy enough to realize I had the opportunity for a relaxing break. Usually I had that vacation for 3 days. Never acknowledgement of the silent treatment. He just starts talking again, and acts like all is good- started sweetness once again. Wanting to go out to eat, play a game together ( golf or pickle ball- where he is more skilled) I’m writing this in past tense. Took me leaving 7 times, because I was hoping for change. Until the hope was shown to be in vain. 7th time- he tried to pull me back in- but I kept remembering how he told me of his extreme distaste for my entire self. 45 years of decreasing kindness. When I realized he does everything from a point of shame and fear, and passing the blame, I knew nothing would change. Hard lessons to learn. Still learning to discern people’s characters.
Yes, that a sign of toughness. They only end up making you a stronger person. I had been married to a man who can simply be called 'the Godfather of the Narc dynasty'. It took God to make me see. I'm getting out of the marriage and I'm already getting myself back.
I'm enjoying my every minute every month of my husband's narcissistic behavior it's bein 1.5years now while on silent I did whatever needed to be done to save the marriage but he didn't give AF.
I am going through the same thing right now! My now ex fiancé is the definition of a narcissist. I finally came to my senses this week and ended the engagement after having my mind messes with for over a year. Letting go of a narcissist is very difficult because they started the relationship as a total charmer. She was the guy any man would feel lucky to have. But one day, they go from being Mrs. Perfect to Mrs. mind done. If something doesn't go the way she wants or is questioned about anything, including her behavior, she will stop communication, knowing very well that you will beg him to talk. She knows the pattern and has learned what upsets you and exploits that. Nothing is her fault. You are belittled and made to think that you are the problem. This leads to the victim truly believing they are the problem and stays with the narcissist because the victim is made to believe they are not good enough and no one else would put up with them. The victim stays because they are holding on to who the person was at the beginning of the relationship. DON’T!! They will not change. The beginning of the relationship was a ficade. They real person has now showed their true colors. I finally sent a message telling her I was done with the games and I will not contact her anymore. She’ll blame you for being self centered….how could you hurt me like this? What kind of person are you? Ignore it! It is not you! It is them. They are only upset because they have now lost control of you. You will get the silent treatment. But as soon as you realize you're hurting more with him from the mental abuse, and this takes awhile, you will be so much happier. It's like a cancer was just removed from your body! Give him the never ending silent treatment! Once you make it clear you know what he is and you end the relationship on YOUR terms and stop begging for attention, you will feel so much better. She thinks you will breakdown and eventually contact him. When she realizes you were serious, you will be horrible person. Who cares! No one deserves treatment like that. Once you put your foot down, you will feel relief that it's over. She will move on to the next victim that appears vulnerable. When you have to beg for attention, it is not love. It is control. So here it is….a relationship with a narcissist in a nutshell….You will go from being the perfect love of their life to nothing you do is good enough. You will give your everything and They will take it all and give nothing in return. You will end up depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and more than likely financially and get blamed for it. Consider the silent treatment a gift! I hope this helps.
OMG! You just described my bf soon to be ex. Every word! I feel as if I leave him I'm going to regret it and I don't want to feel that way I've been trying to do alot of research preparing myself but the more I'm preparing its like the little voice saying you're going to regret it because I see changes but idk anymore if I've been blinded, confused I just wanna pull my hair out🙉🙈. He once mentioned he had a roommate and he owns katanas and he pulled it out had the guy against the wall with the Katana on his neck all he needed was to sliced his neck because the guy couldn't pay the rent according to my BF he said he was giving him the run around. At 1st I was on his side but now everything is scaring me. About a year ago we got into an argument to where it didn't had to lead to a huge one and I just saw his right hand go into a fist with a look like wanting to kill me. I can't describe it but an ugly ugly look. I said this is it so I showed him I wasn't scared but i was and he calmed down. Days later he apologized then few months ago he said he'd never do that to me. I was surprised he denied it. Also few days ago I was asking him for advice to discipline my son since he's in a wheelchair and he's been giving me a hard time lately and nothing seems to work & while I was talking to my BF he said see why I say you're a very strong woman because if that was my son I'd probably be in jail now. That scared me soooo much. He's verbally abusive, mentally, emotionally, things I wouldn't put up with but I don't understand why just why with him and I can't get out. What I believe it's because I've known him for 11 yrs and I was the one who approached him till 2yrs later I asked him if he wanted to date me so the way I saw things was that I always saw him alone rarely contact with his family since he works 2 jobs and I wanted to be his all his "HERO" to say. Now I feel if I let him go who will he run to. But I don't want to be in this anymore I'm looking and looking in how to let go of this horrible man. Easier said than done but NARC is no joke I see it like they are a drug you're trying to let go but then you say just one more time you leave again and they pull you in you try again and it keeps getting harder and harder. Seriously once you find out what kind a person they are RUN my 3 sisters and mom went through the same not knowing they were NARCS I found out because I love investigating and I sure do not wanna end up finding out 10 or 20 yrs later living hell. I found out a year ago but I was so into him I decided to ignore all the red flags since I was really weak already and he'd started "changing" well he prove to me since I went with him to apply at the VA but I can't anymore I myself have seizures my son CP etc I have enough on my plate that I can't deal with someone who gives me hell when men look at me, when they smile out of courtesy, if we.go to the stare always turns to see where I'm looking at, i cant even do mechanic anymore because he felt so little next to me...OMG I can go on and on it's a never ending story but I need to find my strength that strong person I've always been it's been 5 days so far were I started being someone I never was with him. He's been picking it up but not once has he called me. He's away for work normally I see him once a week or 2 but I'm taking advantage on doing all my research this is why I ended up here and reading everyone's posts.
Thanks so much for this video it meant so much to me a 6 month of love bombardment gas lightnening hoovering destructive manipulative and abusive ( psysical mental and emotional ) he finally left i tried to end it 4 times but could not now he is in silent treatment stage where he thinks he is punishing me for not having put up with him anymore . I AM TOTALLY SILENT TOO THINKING I WAS A NARCISST TOO BUT THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMFORTING ME THAT I AM NOT CAUSE MY INTENTION IS NOT TO PUNISH OR CONTROL MY INTENTION IS SIMPLY TO RECOVER THANKS A LOT LOTS OF LOVE AND GREETINGS FROM TURKEY
You described the relationship perfectly in a nutshell. The crazy thing is a smart person can kind of see it happening but alot of times we are damaged people who want to be loved and respected and were just hoping at the beginning that maybe this time this person actually saw u for who u are and will love you accordingly. But it doesn't turn out to be that when it's someone who Is a narcissist. They play on your emotions because alot of times they are people who are damaged too but has developed a mindset of "I don't care I'm going to harm people worse than I was harmed even if they haven't done anything to me" this person came to me after my husband left me one year after I was drugged and raped at knifepoint. I genuinely thought it was a bond. But after being beaten up by him, attempting to tell people the things he was doing to me he blamed me, made multiple Instagram posts saying how bad of a person I was for telling people what he did and blocked me over and over again after my attempts to keep the relationship going because the love bombing I experienced in the beginning made me think it was worth trying at least. But I can't do it. It's not love. He already said over and over again he's leaving and going to talk to other girls because I'm a bad person. I have to heal myself.
It’s the “hey big head” for me! 😂 My ex disappeared for almost a whole year because I found out he was being unfaithful. Yet I somehow ‘wronged’ him because I found out by discussing our relationship with the person that exposed him. Bumped into him a few weeks ago, we smiled at one another but ni words. A few days later he added me back on social media, hit me with the “hey etc…” sentence like nothing happened. Occasionally popping up & I never really entertained it. Three weeks and bam he has deleted me again lol. I’m praying for him and everyone with a narcissist personality! It’s more than what we think it is. Thank you for your transparency and perspective. God is using you in a phenomenal way! ❤ Love from London 🇬🇧
I wish I watched this video three days ago! I’m being put on the silent treatment right now, it felt unbearable and I instantly told him how it made me feel. BIG MISTAKE. Now I’m enjoying it. Thank you!
I didn’t realize she was a narcissist until I got the silent treatment. Then I realized how codependent she was upon me. It was the best thing to happen to me! My life has improved since and when she came back after the silent treatment, I wasn’t having it. BYE Edit: your videos helped me understand why she felt like she could let herself into my condo after the silent treatment. Thank you for your videos.
Narcs feel entitled to do anything they want. That's why she let herself in. Narcs are also discontinuous in terms of their memory -- they remember facts, but not always associated feelings with those facts, so to her once the silent treatment is over, why shouldn't she just come in. She's not the same person who hated you.
@@bluecoral1206 they will always blame us. Spiteful and punishment when we only cared but they sense when the lose the hold somewhat but it's out fault
Wow. This channel is PURE GOLD. My mom is a malignant narc and while I’m done trying to cope with her behavior, I’m probably never going to stop teaching myself about her condition.
Them saying they “didn’t realize they were giving the silent treatment” is simply a way to avoid taking responsibility for their immature and emotionally abusive behavior…and they love to see the other person get upset and explain till they’re blue in the Face.
Pretending to enjoy silence is counterintuitive to anyone with a shred of care for the other person, it’s deliberate torture so don’t enjoy the silence, walk away and only look back to remind yourself that you won’t stand for it in the future, and you will not become anything like them. Much love to all affected by these experiences.
LOL the infamous silent treatment! My ex tried that a few times at the beginning of the relationship, he quickly dropped it when he realized that I just didn't care. 🤣 Oh you just want to sit in the living room by yourself and not talk!? Alright, I'm going to plan an amazing day for myself (outside of the house preferably) and completely ignore you!
Reprogramming our minds is one of the hardest things to do! I learned never take anything personally we all need healing in some way! If someone wants to go silent on me I'm like okay bye without saying anything I just do my own thing you want me show me!
I was given the silent treatment for sometimes months and sometimes years at a time from a family member. I enjoyed the silence so much that I went no contact and haven’t spoken to him for six years so far. He got absolutely livid when he realized I was no longer speaking to him because he no longer had control. Then he tried pushing other people into getting me to talk to him, then blamed them when I refused. And people still thought he was the good guy. 🤷♀️🤦♀️ I went no contact with them as well. Best six years of my life so far. No regrets, and no looking back. And if I think any other relationship, family member or not, has the same sort of toxicity in it, it goes bye-bye really quickly. I have absolutely no room in my life for childish bullshit.
Sooooo true!!! I called out the father of my child for not knowing his grandchild’s name and it was satisfying I will say proudly. He is so set on the silent treatment that he didn’t call his child to say happy birthday. Wow, he really is so sad
I needed to hear this today. I'm finding out that by saying the word no and if I don't feel comfortable doing something the person wants me to do. They get angry and or ignore me and go silent. Also asking questions to get an understanding of the subject matter they become impatient and only want me to follow their guidance. It's not okay. It's wrong. Please trust and believe I'm going to be fine and mighty strong 💪🏽 because I'm a warrior 🦋🦋🦋🦋 and I will survive. ❤️🦋💙💜♥️
It's very helpful to hear this. The chance that they may have wanted to talk to me still doesn't make up for the way that I was swapped out like a dead bulb. I wouldn't want to go back to someone that lied so much and couldn't take accountability. This small bit of humanity exposed is a bit more closure that I would have never gotten from them, so thank you Lee.
He gave me silent treatment and now I know why I have been fooled into a relationship that was not real. Abuse and deceive, pretend and silence and discard. I was a fool. Not now boy I go forward with joy
Enjoy the silence. Best advice I heard in a long time. The silence truly is a blessing. My inlaws are not a part of my life. They are not undermining me or gaslighting me. I am a stronger person now that I realize this.
my narc mother used to switch from shouting her head off to silent treatment & as a boy this used to throw me, it was so bewildering & in some ways the silent treatment was worse than the yelling & screaming because it meant “you’re not even worth arguing with”
When they start a conversation and then go in silence. If you don't want to be held accountable don't start the conversation that will hold you accountable. Don't do things that will put you in an accountable situation if you going to be silent. They also go silent when they are cheating. No need to talk at that point, just walk. They want to talk when they want to and when the time comes to talk, its all lies. Been there done that. No more.
I JUST REALIZE My husband is a Narcissist after 20 years, he HAVE ALL THE SIGNS & I didn’t know what I was looking At. Now I’m just learning …..🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
My dad used to do this, especially toward my mom. He expected her to know why he was silent without giving her a map to navigate his moods. It was very tense around our house at those times. It's only recently that I see how disturbing this was for all. Thanks for your work. I have been following you for several years and see a solid maturity developing in your own ability to express your ideas and thoughts in order to help other people. ❤❤
GIRL'S THE BIGGEST NARCISSIST IS IN DALLAS, TEXAS. WICKED GAME'S HE PLAY & THE GIRL'S ARE ALL OVER HIM ON TIK-TOK, Y-Tube, CAMEO THANK YOU BRO ' I'M DEAD SCARED OF TEXAS BLACK MEN.
Friend of mine used to always use this tactic whenever I upset her, longest she gave me the silent treatment for was 2 months and now she’s doing it again and it’s been a week. It’s honestly sad how some people just cannot communicate like an adult, at this point I’m about ready to just leave the friendship cause it’s just childish and immature. If you’re upset with someone and don’t wanna talk at that moment, tell them, using your words will save alot of hurt and pain down the road.
Silence is so sweet. That's so true. The two narcissists I put on no contact (due to their rage, betrayal and lies) still try from to time to come back though, even ready to break their ego. You are so right about the shame they want to return if you held them accountable. Once a supply, they will always come back for it. Even in no contact. Never forget, dear friends, their starvation is bigger than their ego. I have so much respect for you and your self-awareness. Knowing from experience how empty inside and ignorant about their abuse narcissists in general are, what you do is unbelievable. 😎
I have gotten put on punishment/silent treatment so many times when I was in a narcissist marriage. If a person say they did not know they were being silent is more of the gaslighting.
Narcs never win because they go through a battle within themselves (heart vs mind) in which is why they never win because the struggle is within them. I’ve learned that you can’t make a miserable person happy.
It is madness! While up in the mix with a narcissist I was losing my mind, peace, sanity, joy, confidence. Yet, there I stayed. Not quite having the pieces, so lost, so confused. Finally, I started putting it together. Fast forward to I been gone, more than a year. That hindsight hits and you see EVERY single thing clear as day. Their motives. Their joy from poking you. EVERYTHING! Not saying I would wish it on anyone, but it ended up being the biggest wake up call I actually needed to FINALLY see. Really see. A curse and a blessing, but I would not have it any other way. You da best Lee!!
It’s funny u said “enjoy the silence” bc that’s what I used to do. It wasn’t that way at 1st but I came to realize how diff things were during those times and it was a revelation that ultimately resulted in major changes that should have happened long ago but I’m grateful to have had the ability to act accordingly when I did (had no choice actually).
Thanks for just being real..I remember when I was 4 grade there was a book my teacher gave us called.. Being Me! This was 1980ish.. but it makes sense..I dealing with a narcissist and it is so fucking hard after 8 months.. thanks for the therapy as I explore what I'm dealing with..Dr.les is good too!
Yes it can get really uncomfortable for any normal person, but remember that's their goal is to make you feel uncomfortable and wishing they could speak to (abuse ) you again.Just keep reminding yourself that you didnt start the silence, they did and carry on living and communicating only the bare necessary. Avoid by all means asking them for any favour. Show them you can run your life without their assistance.
@@Rolhgty thank you. I have stopped asking for favors because of course they don't happen or end up in irritation. Like the video said, thats what they want. But then they go and say ugh white people take forever to do something you ask. Like what??
@@Rolhgty Which simply means - respect yourself and exit the toxicity. Enjoy the silence from outside, but if you tolerate it inside the relationship you are tolerating/enabling abuse.
My mom is (I feel) a narcissist. She has given me the silent treatment quite a few times after I’ve stood up to her. I really wish she’d get checked out because she has most of the narcissistic traits I’ve read about.
When my mom would give me the silent treatment as a kid, it would really upset me. Now that I’ve given her the grey rock responses her silent treatment is a gift to me. The less drama and manipulation in my life, the better.
When my ex was giving me silent treatment it was a horrific unbearable torture for me. It felt like being with someone who looks alive but is dead inside. And I was slowly dying myself until I realized with horror that he was actually role playing my mother and I was again a wounded little girl whose mother does not see her, hear her, accept her, love her. Ii was so eye-opening after all. It became obvious to me that I could only tolerate this or suffer it until I was so unhealed.
Thank you for sharing this! It confirms exactly what I thought about these narcs giving silent treatment and stonewalling. I am so done with it after 22 years married to him.
Appreciate you sharing all of your personal perspectives. My wife doesn't communicate any of this to me, she denies all narcissist behavior. Holding her accountable is the number one trigger. The arguments often start with rage and projection followed by the silent treatment. You're helping me to understand what's going on in her mind. Often times the re-engaging conversation will be initiated by her, but completely off topic, avoiding anything related to what we had a problem with.
Yes and the anger is to get you to stop. The silent treatment is to get you to stop holding her accountable. They learn it is a very basic punishment strategy. Without guilt or empathy it's easy to use these strategies on others.
Any time I didn't do what my narc wanted me to I'd get the silent treatment. Didn't understand what a blessing that was in the beginning. Now that I've been no contact for two months I realize that I deserve better than anything I ever had in the relationship. It's hard losing members of your family but I'm working on me now and trying to live my best life ever!
Thank you! I needed to hear this. For the past 4 years I would always silence him because I was scared of his words - I didn’t want to hurt anymore. Fortunately or unfortunately my not diagnosed Narcissist husband and I are now separated. 21 years of enduring his punishments of harsh words towards me and his silence and me always hiding to avoid hurt was to much for me mentally. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I have asked him for Divorce and now I’m being told he’s happy and doing well ready to leave our home to start living his life in his new home he just bought. I admit it does hurt but I am now aware of NPD and I now understand that he will not change..
I went to a party being held by a friend that I am discovering is narcissistic. She asked me to stay overnight while at the party which I replied with no I have plans with my husband. Ever since then she doesn’t speak with me which is fine. I am not going to play these games. If she would have asked beforehand it may have been different but she expected me to drop everything for her. I didn’t have plans with my husband but she needs to respect my time
You can't just go around labeling people narcissist you literally lied to her. It's pretty obvious that you lied and she's probably staying away from you. Lying out of convenience is a sign of narcissist.
1. I did not lie to her. 2. This is not the only reason I say she is narcissistic 3. She has been doing crap to other life long friends not just me. 4. She has been saying things to me and denying she ever said it 5. She makes plans and never showed up I don’t call someone a narcissist because of one incident
@@dimitrymarushak9952 You are the one who is clearly deluded and you sound like a narcicistic bully yourself. Stay in your lane! Just a word of advice 😂
@@janetmeyer4540 You did the right thing in my opinion and it's so important to have boundaries with these types of people. You give an inch they take a mile. How dare she expect you to be there like her lap dog, she clicks her fingers and says jump..you say how high? No time for that. Respect needs to work both ways. There needs to be a mutual exchange of energy in a friendship. Well done for creating those boundaries with your so called friend and you shouldn't even need to give her explanation or have to make up an excuse either because you owe her nothing. Stay strong angel x 🙏🏻😇✨️❤️⚘️
This describes everything that I’m experiencing in my current relationship. Like every single signpost that he mentioned is what I have been experiencing. Sometimes we go through things and what makes what’s happening to us more difficult to deal with is not knowing how to articulate it or what to call it. This was liberating because it lets me know that I’m not crazy.
I appreciate your honesty. My mother is a narcissist and we don't have a mother/ daughter relationship. I only allow my kids very limited contact with her. I used to be upset about this but now realize that I needed to do this. Thank you for acknowledging your behavior and speaking about your personal life.
I think it's also a self protect thing. If they tried to talk to you, you're gonna come back at them and make them feel shame, guilt, etc. and that causes pain in the childhood wounds that are still open and can be hurt. It's like if you just had surgery on your knee and you go out in public you're gonna protect that knee from other people who might bump into it and hurt you. Same thing when a Narc is giving you the silent treatment, they're trying to avoid the possibility of getting hurt. It's so frustrating trying to deal with the Narc when they go silent.
Yes - Love that you clarified that intent matters. You could be doing nothing wrong, and they will find something and blame you for everything, plus things that aren't even true. They have zero accountability.
I couldn’t take the silent treatment seriously. I purposely continued on with my day smiling and laughing talking with my kids. Ignoring her completely as she was acting more like a toddler than my kids. I asked what was wrong she wouldn’t tell me and I said ok great so it’s not my problem 🤣🤡
This is exactly what I'm doing. I asked what's wrong once or twice in the beginning and then just shrugged and thought, "Ok, did all I could, I'm accessible if he wants to eventually use his words" and then went about my life. It's been a year-and-a-half (but I don't live with him, just next door).
My husband went code 502 for 3 weeks straight. He didn’t even communicate about our child’s needs. When I remind him 9 months later he went blank for 3 weeks he didn’t believe me. He even said if he had gone silence for that long I’m going to sign the divorce papers. I read my journal to him and made him listened the voice memos. Gaslighting at its best… We are still married I think I’m scared eventhough I’m financially independent
My narcissist is my next door neighbor and we were romantically involved. He's been giving me the silent treatment now for over a year-and-a-half. I just "act unbothered" anytime I see him outside, and casually say hello as I go about my business, which makes him SUPER MAD. I decided I'm just going to continue not to play into his "punishment" and maybe one day he'll say hello back. Meanwhile, I'm being normal.
The silent treatment was the most anxiety inducing experience, it always came before he would go absolutely wild at me. I wouldn’t be able to do anything or focus or sleep for days because I knew what was coming next.
I am so grateful I have found your channel! I’m an empath raised by a narcissist and it is so interesting to see openness and honesty from you. It is refreshing. My mom is covert and there’s a lot of gaslighting so I want to let you know that us empaths really, really appreciate you giving us this insight.
![Lethal Company Music Video 🎵 "Follow The Orders" [VERSION A]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QeooZB4Z7RA/mqdefault.jpg)
NEVER EVER let them know what bothers you or hurts your feelings. They will save it up and use it against you later.
Sure will
💯💯💯
He knows I hate silent treatment...I love communication instead but guess what he's doing righna...silent treatment
I put it out there on purpose, and yup she took it hook line and sinker in less than week!
Infinity percent. What I did was give him something else that I pretended was an issue. He used it against me and I was fine cos it wasn't a big deal. Guard your heart!
The silent treatment from the narcissist is a blessing.
Word!!!!
yes. but only if one realizes during it, that you've got to get out. and that time when he's torturing you through the silent treatment is the best time to wake up.
@@mari-greciaodal2436 silent treatment is my spa day😌
@@dominiquevalencia6146 okay. then you're handling it well, Dominique! add a pleasurable vacation as well. The more you do for yourself will help you see what the jerk really is. believe me, it will happen. For, what best to do for yourself on your way to dump him? Enjoy your spa day! by the way, you have a lovely name!
@@dominiquevalencia6146 Well, then you're responding to his torture as well as possible, on your way to dump the jerk!
add a pleasurable vacation and a few margaritas while having fun. Enjoy!
They ignore you until they need you 💯
This is it!Then they treat you just like they did before once they get what they need
My boyfriend this morning. He has to call me to get his packages from the package room but haven’t talked to me or slept in the same bed with me in 4 days. I saw him call me and I knew what it was. Ignited him just so he verbally ask me. Because you gone ask for what you want.
I agree
Truth
Sounds like an adolescent child of the "victim"
They are outright emotional abusers...and they bring misery to innocent souls especially those who truly love them.
To protect yourself, you must keep narcissists and other negative people in check. There is freedom in saying No, Let It Go, and I Don't Care. Doing what you can to make the world a better place can also help. Care about yourself in positive ways. People who are secure and mentally strong are not as attractive to narcissists, as insecure, caring, and emotionally needy people. Prayer also helps if you are a Believer. Demons fear prayer. God is the nemesis of all demons.
Yep
Not caring is exhausting and not worth is. I did 5 years and it drained the life from me, f that. Leave and give silence. F them
Yup💯💯💯💯💯 and I love who I am
Real shit
The silent treatment is the time where we must focus, get your finances ready, plan a strategy to leave the narcissist and have no mercy on them. 👏
💯
Use it as a catalyst to get away from them, see it as a blessing in disguise,😏🚩🏃♀️
My process at the moment.
No mercy !!!!
Silenced me right into my new relationship. Win win!😂🤣😂
@ Florida W- YES🤣🤣🤣
Me too! 😅
You go girl 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Going through it right now.
😃
SILENT TREATMENT is nothing but a childish cowardliness, a lack of personal accountability. I believe it stems from a lack of emotional intelligence. It is an abusive, behavior, motivated by the narcissistic desire to control/punish/ manipulate another human being. It’s the adult narcissist’s version of a child’s “holding my breath until you give in and give me what I want.” It seems to be one of the favorite tactic of infantile narcissists. Oh, and the more you hurt and express/show your feelings to them, the more they enjoy doing it. So, DONT FEED THE TOXICITY. Take a good LAUGH at this GROWN BABY HOLDING THEIR BREATH and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. They may grow out of it by age 4 or 5 …maybe ….who knows 😂.
totally agree! They are like a cartoon character.
It's the worst feeling....being shut out and I would get so emotional each time and it would happen again and again...and I would be blocked and unblocked. It was mental torture.
Yess!! You hit the nail on the head 👏 that's exactly right! They throw temper tantrums and they badger you in a way to wear you down. That's why we're so tired and confused 😕 for me he did the same thing in the beginning. On me on me constantly to get me to marry him 6 months after meeting him. He's a pastor im a Christian woman and of course I thought God was telling him "marry her" he didn't want to give me time to think for myself. I said let's go slow court me for once I wanted to go slow. This wasn't my first narcissist relationship 😩yes I know, but to my credit I literally prayed for a Christian man. Wow!! It's him.....I've learned when we speak out loud our desires the devil also listens the same way God can bring someone so can the enemy. I know this is a "religious thing " but if I'd waited I would have seen his mask slipping. It was a whirlwind relationship. Now I'm in the middle of a divorce protection order it's a mess. The RED FLAGS WERE THERE!!! but I said no it's just me being unsure of my own past choices so I looked passed them. They were fire 🔥 red. So paying the price now. I want to be alone for a while before any other relationship that's for sure! Of course he's pleading for me to not follow through with the divorce but too much has happened and I'd hate myself and probably not survive it next time. Good luck to all the victims of these people toxic narcissist or just toxic people in general. 🙌❤️
@@evolutiondez2.092 I feel you dear! I really do. One thing that truly helped me is to learn how to care for my needs, wants and boundaries and actually express them in a healthy manner again. Focus back all that energy towards yourself to move forward towards your divine destiny. We can’t have 2 gods, it’s either one or the other. I chose to listen to that yet small voice, to choose life and life more abundantly! ❤️❤️❤️ You can DO IT!
@@candacestone2211 I know dear! But we can decide to proactively soothe our own needs instead of getting constantly neglected by this other human being, who is even unable to meet their own needs or love themselves.
You can wrong a narcissist just by being happy in a conversation
That's what I go through. I feel like I can't even talk on the phone. Bc his insecure ass is always eavesdropping. Then take things I say and twist them and starts arguments! Smh
@@tilajohnson3279 damn sounds like what I go thru...she always going thru my phone or asking me who I'm talking to and already knows the answer because I don't have many friends or family. I never went thru her phone or do I care who she is talking to on social media...but some I'm just living a life she don't know about
I can beat a narcissist by beating him in his own game of the silent treatment. I do that very well. And the outcome of me ignoring the narcissist ends up in a conversation and he gives in and starts talking to me. I just love it when I'm the stronger one he's the weakest one. Taste of his own medicine yes you damn right. I'm a TRUE Pisces Woman.
@Arsene Lupin III 😂😂great job
@Arsene Lupin III right you were wise it s not given to everybody this strenght. I know i couldnt fake i m too " real "
It is very rare that a person admits that they are a narcissist. I hugely appreciate your honesty. I really do.
I appreciate that
I noticed that they never deny being a narcissist though...🤔🤔
@@Simplythetruthfulone me too; they’re a different breed.
My narcissist totally admitted he was. And proud of it. Occasionally went empathetic, but that was rare
The narcissist I was with always accused others of being one but never himself. According to him everyone around him were narcissists. 🤷♀️
It makes you get thick skin which is not a weakness. Anyone that goes through something like this is actually the strongest one!!
I go through worse
really? thank you.. i did not think so cause narcissists ruin your entire life
Walking away from this type of abuse would be an even greater display of strength.
I agreeeee❤❤❤❤❤
Silent treatment is about punishment and control or avoiding accountability when you call em out
😵💫
Yes! This!!!
Exactly my husband did something I pointed it out yesterday and he got upset and said he didn't want to talk. Today is a new day he still hasn't apologized or said anything to me. SMH
Absolutely!!! If I do something wrong I take accountability and apologize if I can, and they really do target good ppl
After all these comments I just realized I might be dealing with a narcissist 🤦🏾♂️
I’m being given the silent treatment and I’m loving it!!! ❤
I get it
💯
@Jennifer King This thing still hasn't reached out to me but It💩 calls the brother in law.....like seriously. I'm on day-4 Children act better than you man-child spouses🤦♀️🤣!!!!
Haha! I use to Love it too! Peace and quiet!
I am giving him a taste of his own medicine mine is more powerful 🤣
I am giving him The Silent Treatment for ETERNITY! Walked out of his life forever and BLOCKED HIM! He has not seen or heard from me again since that day 😁 1 Year Free from his Immature Foolishness! BOY BYE 👋
I hate it! I miss them so much 🥺
The ex pulled the silent/ignore me treatment so many times. When he did speak, it was always like nothing happened. Completely crazy!
😵💫
Same. It's become comical at this point. So obvious it's pathetic to watch. Gotta go! My work here is pointless😆
Same. Pulled this cut off nose to spite face shit but was my fault. Spiteful yet too gutless to be honest so ghosted knowing it used to hurt. Makes me laugh now though haha.
Tables turn eventually guys.
Yes yes and yes
This is true.
Silence from a narcissist is truly a blessing 🙏🏾
Not mine, he was even worse after..
Huge blessing 🎉
Your right !!!
Explains why my wife stopped speaking to me. Once I started calling her out for it see said I am “crazy” whole time I was raising her son for her. Never again
These type of people are DEMONIC and work for the devil
Lesson learned ✊🏽💯
Omg 💯
That's what finally got me to cease contact with a narcissist. He sounded like he was demonically possessed. I've never heard anything so evil in my life. It's been two years, but I stay loaded and locked. It sounds bad, but I am gloriously free from him.
@Jazzmen Rain you're on the wrong channel 🙄😏
I agree with it having a demonic connection
@@janebuchanan3684 I agree! At times, I would see this flash of evil in his eyes. Especially when he choked me or he was raging, it was like he was this evil being I've never seen
Then the narc comes back and acts like nothing ever happened. I'm so glad I'm not dealing with all that foolish behavior.
🎯
Yes, it's so bizarre when they come back and act like nothing ever happened.🙄
Yessss my soon to be ex Husband tried that!! At first the silent treatment lasted a few days but by the time I left him it had increased to 2 months! With us in the same house!! Within that last 2 month block I promise you the fog was lifted and I knew exactly what I was dealing with! And yes he tried to speak to me afterwards acting as though "we've both been busy for the past few days." I played stupid right along with him because within that time frame I'd already secured somewhere else to live! 🙌🏽
@@finallyfree3847 Hallelujah! I am so happy that you got free from them 🤟✌️💯🌅
@@finallyfree3847 👍👌🥰
Well done !
You can wrong a narcissist by not buying into their lies. It's an endless cycle of abuse. The narcissist need a victim to play into their story. If you stop playing your character, they WILL punish you!
🫠🫠
Facts! I'm doing this now to my narcissistic spouse.
All facts lol
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD same here !! I am doing this right now also , all because i didnt give her the control that she wanted , so that she can control her own narrative and that f***ing " image " she has to maintain about herself so profoundly
Yes, I called him out big time and he stonewalled me, left me and our two teens, and still giving silent treatment and being petty. I just turned 50 last week and have been with him for 24 years, married 22, so I am so done! The ONLY reason I'm not filing divorce is to not put our 14 year old through it.
It was during silent treatment, my mind was at peace and my mind begin to think. In that 3 days, I checked up 'silent treatment' in relationship and it led me to looking into lovebombing, gaslighting, boundaries issue, loads of trust issue, jealousy, flashy in materials, divert my questions all the time to realisation of walking on egg shell when talking to him and not being myself in a bad way. 90% checked in the list that I saw for a Narc. Brothers and sisters, love yourself. If you find yourself not loving for who u are after with him/her, something is wrong.
Major ✅✅✅✅✅✅…..
Absolutely. 100%
Narcs are usually sexually fluid as well, pay attention. Love yourself first.
@@equanimity4506 actually that was my super red light cuz he was pushing my line and testing my boundaries over and over, I stood firm and then that's y I realised it has a pattern. When I didn't budge and got angry, he apologies, we made up but he gave me silent treatment the next day. I was like 'huh???, did he apologised but now ignore me?" Leaving me confused
@@starshine9836 That's how they train you.
Silent Treatment is also given when you point out their flaws, lack of gowth or accountablity. Its easier to ignore a problem than to face it in their opinion. Most hope that you will miss the lil crumbs they give you and settle for what they are not.
Its a way of pressuring you to continue in their childish ,immature toxic ways
True .
This is so true
So true
My ex hubs passed this narcissistic behavior on to my daughter and she has chosen as an adult to gaslight me, ghost me, and discard me. Therefore, as an empty-nester, I'm enjoying the silence. I raised her pretty much by myself since her narc father was completely self-absorbed and I'm glad I don't have to deal with that mess. I miss the good times with my child, but peace is PRICELESS!!🙏🏾💜
God bless you, know that you will get great deeds in life and blessings from God, your karma will be amazing when we do good in the world it comes back to us ten times better :) I'm proud of you just from hearing your story, you sound like an amazing mother 🦋✨ sending love your way 💗
Experiencing the same behavior for my two teens. I’ve learned to enjoy the silence and wish them well on their journey in life. I’m also married to a narc whom is currently on a vacation with karma. I am just sitting back watching this unfold after being treated so horribly by them 😢😊
Finally, another Mom going through the same thing that I am. I just haven't had anyone that understands what it's like for a Sister, who was born and raised in the South, like I was, to have a narcissistic child! The discovery, the questions, the confusion, the confirmation, the denial and finally the acceptance. Now what?
Hi, can I ask how he was able to pass it on to her seeing that you raised her? Did you not see signs of it in her as q child and could you not correct it? I'm genuinely curious please. Thank you
I took my child to therapy. She knows that she has it, but she does not act on those urges. It's still there, but she's aware. Her father was around for 13 years.....the damage was the worst thing I've ever experienced.
I love the silent treatment it helps me to move on cause once that's done I'm done 😂
Yes. It was the last straw for me. I'm happy about it!
Me too. The silent treatment among many other things made my decision easier to leave.
On August 9th, the narcissist I was dealing with came to visit me, we were intimate. He got a “phone call” from a friend. He said his friend wanted to borrow money so he had to go meet him. I asked if he was coming back, he said yes!!! Haven’t talked to me since. I texted him all that night and several days after that. We’ve been “together” since 2013. Until this episode, I didn’t realize I was dealing with a narcissist!! They are horrible people!!
Did you ever think of the fact something might have went wrong when he went to borrow money
Is he alive? Sounds like something may have gone wrong
@@Oneworld-nc2kb nah. He probably had another chick and she have birth to their baby so he rushed off and decided to stay with his new family . It's disgusting.
Was with mine since 2016
Sooo, Grey Rock them when they give you the silent treatment
My narc ex pulled the "silent treatment" card one too many times. I blocked him. ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE and FOR ALL TIMES. THAT is the silence I can enjoy now.💕🥰
“You… also enjoy the silence”
Best advice ever given.
Silent treatment and disappeared for days. Literally over me expressing my feelings. Plus he’s a addict, alcoholic. Upon his return, there was never any discussion of what the heck happened. I get some people need a cooling off period, but days upon days after me pleading for his return. My gosh, I ask myself every single day…… how could I have been so so stupid to get involved with this man. So true……INTENT, MOTIVES .
Omg sounds like my ex anything that reminded him as confrontation he will hang the phone up on me & I’ll call etc he won’t pick up for days or weeks &finally pick up when he wants like nothing ever happened & he drunk wine all fucking day ! Long story short I dealt with this for 7 months & cut his ass off he tried coming back I laughed heard his bs & never took em serious again
"Enjoy the silence" Absolutely :) Back when I *finally* figured out the bizarre emotional patterns of my then husband, I learned to just enjoy the silent treatment. Before that I would always ask "what's wrong?", "what are you mad about?" "Did I do something to upset you?", "Why won't you talk to me?" and on and on and on. It only took me 30 years with the guy before one day I just mentally stepped back and observed our behavior from a 3rd person perspective. I realized our interactions were just a weird mental/emotional dance, and I was a great dance partner for him. From that day on, I became totally non-reactive to him. It was 3 years after I divorced him that I learned there was actually name for people like him.
Enjoy every day you get free from narcs in your life, it feels like a paradise. 🌴💯👍🌞
I'm glad you move on . Loving your self. You will see clarity of situation. One doors closed one door will open and you will be ready to move forward.
How do you become non reactive!!!?? Please!!! I'm desperate for step by step directions . 10 yrs . 3 kids. I'm going insane
I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years and it's only when you step back and look at it that you say enough.
I too have moved on from him, that was 4 months ago.
I called him out in public and caused a narcissists injury.
That didn't go down to well.
However I am not complaining, I am now enjoying my own life for me.
Peace and contentment for me.
What a wonderful life, free from the narcissists behaviour.
Enjoying every moment now with a better understanding of the meaning of life.
Going thru this right now on 3 years but imma leave!
My husband told me during my last month with him that we were going to sleep in separate beds until I stop disobeying him (by not letting him lie and manipulate me without calling him out), and I told him "Great. Because the last thing I want to do is to sleep close to someone who I don't feel close to"
He told me after a few days of separation perhaps I will realize my wrong-doings and fix myself.
I told him I wanted us to sleep separately anyways. That's why I sometimes took his pillow and blanket and put it on another bed to let him know I don't want to be near him.
And he got upset that I was SO elated at the though of us sleeping separately. He realized that I didn't see it as a punishment but a blessing to sleep separately. And this made his brain break. So then he threatened that he would be harsher on me and make me do more chores around the home and sleep deprive me by making me do random things until late into the night.
Mind you- at the time I was on my first trimester of my first pregnancy (due in two months) and had EXTREME fatigue. And I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety and his treatment was making me have horrible abdominal pain and he refused to take me to a doctor (we were living in a foreign country). I was having panic attacks that left me cramping for two weeks straight. When I left him I was 12 weeks and got a check up immediately as he refused to take me to a doctor until I was 16 weeks.
Having a narcassitic father and being so tired of the treatment my whole life (my husband is way worse than my father and they have different styles of treatment) allowed me to finally get the courage to leave.
And your videos helped me understand a lot of things more clearly and allowed me to realize that this is not what I wanted to subscribe to for the rest of my life.
May I ask is it safe for you to be posting.....
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD
Sewing as how I now Iive on the other side of the planet from him, and the fact that he isn't a citizen of my country (and has never been to my country), I would venture to say I am safe.
I used to have a TS/SCI job so I know how to hide if I wish.
@@asiyaheibhlin Awesome🙏💞
@@asiyaheibhlin Super fantastic!…stay safe and happy 😃
I’m happy for you, mine used religion against me for 20 years, meanwhile he was partying and cheating outside the home. He was a nightmare until I became strong enough and physically sick actually, to finally get out! They are horrible creatures and deserve the worst 🙏🏻
Never ever believe narcissists that YOU need THEM. because they need you too. You are their mirror..
Free yourself from their ridiculousness by getting over them ❤ they can only hurt you if you love them!
♥️
Thank you, needed that
Silent treatment is a happy time for the narcs, because it's the best oppurtunity to do what they want without being confronted.
The biggest mistake i have done is telling them everything that bothered me and they did it to me after that.
🥺
Disappearing not answering phone calls being indirect about things ghosting you not communicating with you avoiding accountability blaming you for everything using you using your past against you and the list goes on all of these are narcissistic traits and the only reason my ex silenced me was because he knew what he did was wrong point blank period 💯
Oh yeah and not to mention getting on Facebook making posts about him and how he is this perfect guy he tried to portray himself like a GOD ! But in reality he is a coward
You just described what I’m dealing with at this exact moment smh 🤦🏾♀️
My intent is to keep that man-child away from me for good!!
🏃♂️
@@MentalHealness lol, yes, run!
The greatest trick my narcissist has is pretending he’s not one. He was a nightmare
The silent treatment is how 12 year old girls treat each other. I remember one of our work colleagues in healthcare used to behave like this, and the others called her out about it in a team meeting. She tried to say it was part of her culture, but the manager called BS and told her if she behaves like that she was in the wrong place and should leave to go work in a library, which made everyone laugh. She didn’t stay long after that.
“Go work in a library”
That gold! 😁
@@starlightbarking9495 😅
4.5 months of silent treatment so far. The first 2 months I spoke my mind, in shorts as he scurried away or stayed silent, I pointed out his abuse and his greedy intentions. I did ask “are you ever going to talk to me?” He stated “eventually”. I gave up. I served him mid September. SILENCE and emotional discard is the reason for divorce among all the unnecessary lies, stealing and cheating. I hope to never talk to him again. Smfh can wait until this part of life with a covert is over.
You deserve better!!
I am the same after 35 years with my narcissists husband.
Silent treatment for calling him out on his behaviour.
I discarded him, sent him packing and went no contact.
4 months on and life is much better without the narcissists.
The meaning of life is better each day without the narcissists.
@@jonathanomahony688 at least yours left. I can’t get him out. Mediation 1/10. True life is so much better w/o the narc
I had the silent treatment for about 3 months. He left the house, took his playstation and a few clothes. After I realized ( or thought) he was never coming back and started to enjoy the silence and make plans to move back with my family is when he finally came back with his playstation.
Not with him anymore by the way. Left him five months after that.
Not the Playstation 🤣🤦♀️
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD 😂😂
The silent treatment reopens the wounds inflicted during childhood. There's studies showing that infants being ignored by their mothers suffer terribly. It's cruel. The nasty cyst is digging into those deep wounds.
🥺🥺
I Hate my mom so bad
😢
The silent treatment helped me get over him because of the distance & no contact. It was a blessing.
"you wrong them when you hold them accountable" those words make sense as to why he is giving me the silent treatment. "She doesn't deserve these words" is another I didn't realize is his way of "punishing me" with his silent treatment. "wasting his life and breath if he spoke to me." This is my first time coming across your channel and I am so grateful you showed up. Thank you!! Yes, he knows the silent treatment sets me off.
So true... My ex used this as punishment and a harsh way to discard me without dealing with any accountability...Coward! Very selfish and immature ..He started an argument for no reason 4 days before a planned trip ..He cancelled everything, gaslighted me, then told his family I was the crazy one after I called him out on his BS... Discarded me through a text message then blocked me on his phone. Two months of NC...getting stronger everyday..At first I was extremely hurt, and confused but after binge watching videos on Narcissism I have more clarity .The nail in the coffin was when his Sister told me that he was seeing another woman that he met on line while he was with me towards the end..I'm sure she was probaly in the picture long before...It was painful to hear the truth but it gave me some closure ... I will continue to try to stay positive, and keep my head up. I know my worth, I ❤
deserve true love and respect. ..
Yea, that phrase hit home for me too. Here I was thinking I just hurt his feelings and he needed time to go off and sulk
By January off 2022, the verbal abuse was so horrible I had the police remove my narcissist after filing for divorce. He hasn't spoken a word to me since. It's been fantastic! And it gives me time to heal.
How? The police only asked if he had hit me. In Virginia, apparently verbal abuse of the wife on any and all levels is acceptable.
@@tkane5510 My husband was verbally abusive and threatening. That's more than enough in Georgia. We don't play down here.
I love how you stress that INTENT MATTERS, because most people don't stress this enough, or at all.
I am enjoying every minute of my wife's Narcissistic Silence while watching your video bro!!💯🤝🏿
💯
I understand that “enjoying”.
It took me a long time to get healthy enough to realize I had the opportunity for a relaxing break. Usually I had that vacation for 3 days.
Never acknowledgement of the silent treatment. He just starts talking again, and acts like all is good- started sweetness once again. Wanting to go out to eat, play a game together ( golf or pickle ball- where he is more skilled)
I’m writing this in past tense. Took me leaving 7 times, because I was hoping for change. Until the hope was shown to be in vain. 7th time- he tried to pull me back in- but I kept remembering how he told me of his extreme distaste for my entire self.
45 years of decreasing kindness.
When I realized he does everything from a point of shame and fear, and passing the blame, I knew nothing would change.
Hard lessons to learn. Still learning to discern people’s characters.
🤣🤣
Yes, that a sign of toughness. They only end up making you a stronger person.
I had been married to a man who can simply be called 'the Godfather of the Narc dynasty'. It took God to make me see. I'm getting out of the marriage and I'm already getting myself back.
I'm enjoying my every minute every month of my husband's narcissistic behavior it's bein 1.5years now while on silent
I did whatever needed to be done to save the marriage but he didn't give AF.
I am going through the same thing right now! My now ex fiancé is the definition of a narcissist. I finally came to my senses this week and ended the engagement after having my mind messes with for over a year. Letting go of a narcissist is very difficult because they started the relationship as a total charmer. She was the guy any man would feel lucky to have. But one day, they go from being Mrs. Perfect to Mrs. mind done. If something doesn't go the way she wants or is questioned about anything, including her behavior, she will stop communication, knowing very well that you will beg him to talk. She knows the pattern and has learned what upsets you and exploits that. Nothing is her fault. You are belittled and made to think that you are the problem. This leads to the victim truly believing they are the problem and stays with the narcissist because the victim is made to believe they are not good enough and no one else would put up with them. The victim stays because they are holding on to who the person was at the beginning of the relationship. DON’T!! They will not change. The beginning of the relationship was a ficade. They real person has now showed their true colors. I finally sent a message telling her I was done with the games and I will not contact her anymore. She’ll blame you for being self centered….how could you hurt me like this? What kind of person are you? Ignore it! It is not you! It is them. They are only upset because they have now lost control of you. You will get the silent treatment. But as soon as you realize you're hurting more with him from the mental abuse, and this takes awhile, you will be so much happier. It's like a cancer was just removed from your body! Give him the never ending silent treatment! Once you make it clear you know what he is and you end the relationship on YOUR terms and stop begging for attention, you will feel so much better. She thinks you will breakdown and eventually contact him. When she realizes you were serious, you will be horrible person. Who cares! No one deserves treatment like that. Once you put your foot down, you will feel relief that it's over. She will move on to the next victim that appears vulnerable. When you have to beg for attention, it is not love. It is control. So here it is….a relationship with a narcissist in a nutshell….You will go from being the perfect love of their life to nothing you do is good enough. You will give your everything and They will take it all and give nothing in return. You will end up depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and more than likely financially and get blamed for it. Consider the silent treatment a gift! I hope this helps.
OMG! You just described my bf soon to be ex. Every word! I feel as if I leave him I'm going to regret it and I don't want to feel that way I've been trying to do alot of research preparing myself but the more I'm preparing its like the little voice saying you're going to regret it because I see changes but idk anymore if I've been blinded, confused I just wanna pull my hair out🙉🙈. He once mentioned he had a roommate and he owns katanas and he pulled it out had the guy against the wall with the Katana on his neck all he needed was to sliced his neck because the guy couldn't pay the rent according to my BF he said he was giving him the run around. At 1st I was on his side but now everything is scaring me. About a year ago we got into an argument to where it didn't had to lead to a huge one and I just saw his right hand go into a fist with a look like wanting to kill me. I can't describe it but an ugly ugly look. I said this is it so I showed him I wasn't scared but i was and he calmed down. Days later he apologized then few months ago he said he'd never do that to me. I was surprised he denied it. Also few days ago I was asking him for advice to discipline my son since he's in a wheelchair and he's been giving me a hard time lately and nothing seems to work & while I was talking to my BF he said see why I say you're a very strong woman because if that was my son I'd probably be in jail now. That scared me soooo much. He's verbally abusive, mentally, emotionally, things I wouldn't put up with but I don't understand why just why with him and I can't get out. What I believe it's because I've known him for 11 yrs and I was the one who approached him till 2yrs later I asked him if he wanted to date me so the way I saw things was that I always saw him alone rarely contact with his family since he works 2 jobs and I wanted to be his all his "HERO" to say. Now I feel if I let him go who will he run to. But I don't want to be in this anymore I'm looking and looking in how to let go of this horrible man. Easier said than done but NARC is no joke I see it like they are a drug you're trying to let go but then you say just one more time you leave again and they pull you in you try again and it keeps getting harder and harder. Seriously once you find out what kind a person they are RUN my 3 sisters and mom went through the same not knowing they were NARCS I found out because I love investigating and I sure do not wanna end up finding out 10 or 20 yrs later living hell. I found out a year ago but I was so into him I decided to ignore all the red flags since I was really weak already and he'd started "changing" well he prove to me since I went with him to apply at the VA but I can't anymore I myself have seizures my son CP etc I have enough on my plate that I can't deal with someone who gives me hell when men look at me, when they smile out of courtesy, if we.go to the stare always turns to see where I'm looking at, i cant even do mechanic anymore because he felt so little next to me...OMG I can go on and on it's a never ending story but I need to find my strength that strong person I've always been it's been 5 days so far were I started being someone I never was with him. He's been picking it up but not once has he called me. He's away for work normally I see him once a week or 2 but I'm taking advantage on doing all my research this is why I ended up here and reading everyone's posts.
Thanks so much for this video it meant so much to me a 6 month of love bombardment gas lightnening hoovering destructive manipulative and abusive ( psysical mental and emotional ) he finally left i tried to end it 4 times but could not now he is in silent treatment stage where he thinks he is punishing me for not having put up with him anymore . I AM TOTALLY SILENT TOO THINKING I WAS A NARCISST TOO BUT THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMFORTING ME THAT I AM NOT CAUSE MY INTENTION IS NOT TO PUNISH OR CONTROL
MY INTENTION IS SIMPLY TO RECOVER
THANKS A LOT LOTS OF LOVE AND GREETINGS FROM TURKEY
You described the relationship perfectly in a nutshell. The crazy thing is a smart person can kind of see it happening but alot of times we are damaged people who want to be loved and respected and were just hoping at the beginning that maybe this time this person actually saw u for who u are and will love you accordingly. But it doesn't turn out to be that when it's someone who Is a narcissist. They play on your emotions because alot of times they are people who are damaged too but has developed a mindset of "I don't care I'm going to harm people worse than I was harmed even if they haven't done anything to me" this person came to me after my husband left me one year after I was drugged and raped at knifepoint. I genuinely thought it was a bond. But after being beaten up by him, attempting to tell people the things he was doing to me he blamed me, made multiple Instagram posts saying how bad of a person I was for telling people what he did and blocked me over and over again after my attempts to keep the relationship going because the love bombing I experienced in the beginning made me think it was worth trying at least. But I can't do it. It's not love. He already said over and over again he's leaving and going to talk to other girls because I'm a bad person. I have to heal myself.
Exactly what happens...run away
It’s the “hey big head” for me! 😂
My ex disappeared for almost a whole year because I found out he was being unfaithful. Yet I somehow ‘wronged’ him because I found out by discussing our relationship with the person that exposed him. Bumped into him a few weeks ago, we smiled at one another but ni words. A few days later he added me back on social media, hit me with the “hey etc…” sentence like nothing happened. Occasionally popping up & I never really entertained it. Three weeks and bam he has deleted me again lol.
I’m praying for him and everyone with a narcissist personality! It’s more than what we think it is.
Thank you for your transparency and perspective. God is using you in a phenomenal way! ❤
Love from London 🇬🇧
I wish I watched this video three days ago! I’m being put on the silent treatment right now, it felt unbearable and I instantly told him how it made me feel. BIG MISTAKE. Now I’m enjoying it. Thank you!
It’s still chilling to me. Because I don’t know when I will step on the land mine
Don't EVER tell them how you feel!!
I didn’t realize she was a narcissist until I got the silent treatment. Then I realized how codependent she was upon me. It was the best thing to happen to me! My life has improved since and when she came back after the silent treatment, I wasn’t having it. BYE
Edit: your videos helped me understand why she felt like she could let herself into my condo after the silent treatment. Thank you for your videos.
Narcs feel entitled to do anything they want. That's why she let herself in. Narcs are also discontinuous in terms of their memory -- they remember facts, but not always associated feelings with those facts, so to her once the silent treatment is over, why shouldn't she just come in. She's not the same person who hated you.
Two can play that game…
🤦🏻♀️😂
@@bluecoral1206 they will always blame us. Spiteful and punishment when we only cared but they sense when the lose the hold somewhat but it's out fault
Thought I was the co-dependent but i Healed myself and they actually turned out to b way more co-dependent
Wow. This channel is PURE GOLD. My mom is a malignant narc and while I’m done trying to cope with her behavior, I’m probably never going to stop teaching myself about her condition.
It also feels when u set a boundary with the mother, it can last forever bc u realize how ur life is so chill and actually vibrant and colorful
"Intent matters." That single statement just healed me.
To everyone that's dealing with a narcissist, LEAVE THEM ALONE!
🏃🏼♂️🏃🏼♂️
Them saying they “didn’t realize they were giving the silent treatment” is simply a way to avoid taking responsibility for their immature and emotionally abusive behavior…and they love to see the other person get upset and explain till they’re blue in the Face.
Pretending to enjoy silence is counterintuitive to anyone with a shred of care for the other person, it’s deliberate torture so don’t enjoy the silence, walk away and only look back to remind yourself that you won’t stand for it in the future, and you will not become anything like them. Much love to all affected by these experiences.
LOL the infamous silent treatment! My ex tried that a few times at the beginning of the relationship, he quickly dropped it when he realized that I just didn't care. 🤣 Oh you just want to sit in the living room by yourself and not talk!? Alright, I'm going to plan an amazing day for myself (outside of the house preferably) and completely ignore you!
Reprogramming our minds is one of the hardest things to do! I learned never take anything personally we all need healing in some way! If someone wants to go silent on me I'm like okay bye without saying anything I just do my own thing you want me show me!
I've been going through this for a while and I find it so comfort to hear you because I feel validated and not crazy. Thank you!!
you’re welcome
I was given the silent treatment for sometimes months and sometimes years at a time from a family member. I enjoyed the silence so much that I went no contact and haven’t spoken to him for six years so far. He got absolutely livid when he realized I was no longer speaking to him because he no longer had control. Then he tried pushing other people into getting me to talk to him, then blamed them when I refused. And people still thought he was the good guy. 🤷♀️🤦♀️ I went no contact with them as well. Best six years of my life so far. No regrets, and no looking back. And if I think any other relationship, family member or not, has the same sort of toxicity in it, it goes bye-bye really quickly. I have absolutely no room in my life for childish bullshit.
Very true. Silent treatment really is a blessing. As I have chosen no contact forever.
Sooooo true!!! I called out the father of my child for not knowing his grandchild’s name and it was satisfying I will say proudly. He is so set on the silent treatment that he didn’t call his child to say happy birthday. Wow, he really is so sad
😩😩🥺
Mine knows his name and uses SWEAR ON MY GRANDSON'S kidsmame
LIFE IM SORRY SERIOUS GONNA BE RIGHT FOR YOU..BLA BLA BLA
Be Loving ❤️ Always
I needed to hear this today. I'm finding out that by saying the word no and if I don't feel comfortable doing something the person wants me to do. They get angry and or ignore me and go silent. Also asking questions to get an understanding of the subject matter they become impatient and only want me to follow their guidance. It's not okay. It's wrong. Please trust and believe I'm going to be fine and mighty strong 💪🏽 because I'm a warrior 🦋🦋🦋🦋 and I will survive. ❤️🦋💙💜♥️
Yes! This cycle of " nothing happened" - now it makes sense. Sadly, Ive just had to let this relationship go.
It's very helpful to hear this. The chance that they may have wanted to talk to me still doesn't make up for the way that I was swapped out like a dead bulb. I wouldn't want to go back to someone that lied so much and couldn't take accountability. This small bit of humanity exposed is a bit more closure that I would have never gotten from them, so thank you Lee.
He gave me silent treatment and now I know why I have been fooled into a relationship that was not real. Abuse and deceive, pretend and silence and discard. I was a fool. Not now boy I go forward with joy
Enjoy the silence. Best advice I heard in a long time. The silence truly is a blessing. My inlaws are not a part of my life. They are not undermining me or gaslighting me. I am a stronger person now that I realize this.
I love the silence it helped me move on ...I never wanna see him again.
my narc mother used to switch from shouting her head off to silent treatment & as a boy this used to throw me, it was so bewildering & in some ways the silent treatment was worse than the yelling & screaming because it meant “you’re not even worth arguing with”
So cruel to a child. Narcs reopen that childhood wound.
When they start a conversation and then go in silence. If you don't want to be held accountable don't start the conversation that will hold you accountable. Don't do things that will put you in an accountable situation if you going to be silent. They also go silent when they are cheating. No need to talk at that point, just walk. They want to talk when they want to and when the time comes to talk, its all lies. Been there done that. No more.
I JUST REALIZE My husband is a Narcissist after 20 years, he HAVE ALL THE SIGNS & I didn’t know what I was looking At. Now I’m just learning …..🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
My dad used to do this, especially toward my mom. He expected her to know why he was silent without giving her a map to navigate his moods. It was very tense around our house at those times. It's only recently that I see how disturbing this was for all. Thanks for your work. I have been following you for several years and see a solid maturity developing in your own ability to express your ideas and thoughts in order to help other people. ❤❤
GIRL'S THE BIGGEST NARCISSIST IS IN DALLAS, TEXAS. WICKED GAME'S HE PLAY & THE GIRL'S ARE ALL OVER HIM ON TIK-TOK, Y-Tube, CAMEO
THANK YOU BRO ' I'M DEAD SCARED OF TEXAS BLACK MEN.
This happened to me
For 3 years ….. thank
God I ended it 💔 but took a lot and I have trauma
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Same here...trying to heal
Friend of mine used to always use this tactic whenever I upset her, longest she gave me the silent treatment for was 2 months and now she’s doing it again and it’s been a week. It’s honestly sad how some people just cannot communicate like an adult, at this point I’m about ready to just leave the friendship cause it’s just childish and immature. If you’re upset with someone and don’t wanna talk at that moment, tell them, using your words will save alot of hurt and pain down the road.
I had friends like this before and after years of dealing with such people I block them and their number my life is billion times better.
Silence is so sweet. That's so true. The two narcissists I put on no contact (due to their rage, betrayal and lies) still try from to time to come back though, even ready to break their ego. You are so right about the shame they want to return if you held them accountable. Once a supply, they will always come back for it. Even in no contact. Never forget, dear friends, their starvation is bigger than their ego.
I have so much respect for you and your self-awareness. Knowing from experience how empty inside and ignorant about their abuse narcissists in general are, what you do is unbelievable.
😎
I have gotten put on punishment/silent treatment so many times when I was in a narcissist marriage. If a person say they did not know they were being silent is more of the gaslighting.
This is pure evil and unfair . The hurt and pain that it causes .
Narcs never win because they go through a battle within themselves (heart vs mind) in which is why they never win because the struggle is within them. I’ve learned that you can’t make a miserable person happy.
They don’t have a heart
True
It is madness! While up in the mix with a narcissist I was losing my mind, peace, sanity, joy, confidence. Yet, there I stayed. Not quite having the pieces, so lost, so confused. Finally, I started putting it together. Fast forward to I been gone, more than a year. That hindsight hits and you see EVERY single thing clear as day. Their motives. Their joy from poking you. EVERYTHING! Not saying I would wish it on anyone, but it ended up being the biggest wake up call I actually needed to FINALLY see. Really see. A curse and a blessing, but I would not have it any other way. You da best Lee!!
It’s funny u said “enjoy the silence” bc that’s what I used to do. It wasn’t that way at 1st but I came to realize how diff things were during those times and it was a revelation that ultimately resulted in major changes that should have happened long ago but I’m grateful to have had the ability to act accordingly when I did (had no choice actually).
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thanks for just being real..I remember when I was 4 grade there was a book my teacher gave us called.. Being Me! This was 1980ish.. but it makes sense..I dealing with a narcissist and it is so fucking hard after 8 months.. thanks for the therapy as I explore what I'm dealing with..Dr.les is good too!
The silent treatment isn't a big deal unless you live with them. Then it gets super uncomfortable
Yes it can get really uncomfortable for any normal person, but remember that's their goal is to make you feel uncomfortable and wishing they could speak to (abuse ) you again.Just keep reminding yourself that you didnt start the silence, they did and carry on living and communicating only the bare necessary. Avoid by all means asking them for any favour. Show them you can run your life without their assistance.
@@Rolhgty thank you. I have stopped asking for favors because of course they don't happen or end up in irritation. Like the video said, thats what they want. But then they go and say ugh white people take forever to do something you ask. Like what??
😵🫠
@@Rolhgty Which simply means - respect yourself and exit the toxicity. Enjoy the silence from outside, but if you tolerate it inside the relationship you are tolerating/enabling abuse.
My mom is (I feel) a narcissist. She has given me the silent treatment quite a few times after I’ve stood up to her. I really wish she’d get checked out because she has most of the narcissistic traits I’ve read about.
When my mom would give me the silent treatment as a kid, it would really upset me. Now that I’ve given her the grey rock responses her silent treatment is a gift to me. The less drama and manipulation in my life, the better.
When my ex was giving me silent treatment it was a horrific unbearable torture for me. It felt like being with someone who looks alive but is dead inside. And I was slowly dying myself until I realized with horror that he was actually role playing my mother and I was again a wounded little girl whose mother does not see her, hear her, accept her, love her. Ii was so eye-opening after all. It became obvious to me that I could only tolerate this or suffer it until I was so unhealed.
Or maybe he was just mad
Yeah mad over nothing. They are mad at the most slightest idiotic reasons. The egos are so fragile.
Thats exactly my story!! 💯🙏
Thank you for sharing this! It confirms exactly what I thought about these narcs giving silent treatment and stonewalling. I am so done with it after 22 years married to him.
you’re welcome. stay strong
@@MentalHealness Thank you!
This silence treatment mess is foolishness. It doesn't accomplish anything except further confusion. Life is too short to be acting like a child.
Appreciate you sharing all of your personal perspectives. My wife doesn't communicate any of this to me, she denies all narcissist behavior. Holding her accountable is the number one trigger. The arguments often start with rage and projection followed by the silent treatment. You're helping me to understand what's going on in her mind. Often times the re-engaging conversation will be initiated by her, but completely off topic, avoiding anything related to what we had a problem with.
Yes and the anger is to get you to stop. The silent treatment is to get you to stop holding her accountable. They learn it is a very basic punishment strategy. Without guilt or empathy it's easy to use these strategies on others.
Any time I didn't do what my narc wanted me to I'd get the silent treatment. Didn't understand what a blessing that was in the beginning. Now that I've been no contact for two months I realize that I deserve better than anything I ever had in the relationship. It's hard losing members of your family but I'm working on me now and trying to live my best life ever!
Thank you! I needed to hear this. For the past 4 years I would always silence him because I was scared of his words - I didn’t want to hurt anymore. Fortunately or unfortunately my not diagnosed Narcissist husband and I are now separated. 21 years of enduring his punishments of harsh words towards me and his silence and me always hiding to avoid hurt was to much for me mentally. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I have asked him for Divorce and now I’m being told he’s happy and doing well ready to leave our home to start living his life in his new home he just bought. I admit it does hurt but I am now aware of NPD and I now understand that he will not change..
Love the silent treatment from my husband because that = peace! Narcissists aren't hurting us by not speaking, it's a nice break. Who cares 🤗🤣😉
Agreed nothing beats peace, enlightenment and solitude. We are never alone.
🎯 💯 🙏🏻✨️
It does hurt if you don't know that they're a narc.
@@jasminepearls1047 you are correct. It used to hurt terribly at first. Now? I think about what I will do with my time while they’re gone.
@@bernicef.r.629 totally agree 💯%
All @Jasmine Pearls needs to educate herself about narcs and how to deal with them, then her pain will end.
Exactly. Who cares😆😆
I went to a party being held by a friend that I am discovering is narcissistic. She asked me to stay overnight while at the party which I replied with no I have plans with my husband. Ever since then she doesn’t speak with me which is fine. I am not going to play these games. If she would have asked beforehand it may have been different but she expected me to drop everything for her. I didn’t have plans with my husband but she needs to respect my time
You can't just go around labeling people narcissist you literally lied to her. It's pretty obvious that you lied and she's probably staying away from you. Lying out of convenience is a sign of narcissist.
1. I did not lie to her.
2. This is not the only reason I say she is narcissistic
3. She has been doing crap to other life long friends not just me.
4. She has been saying things to me and denying she ever said it
5. She makes plans and never showed up
I don’t call someone a narcissist because of one incident
@@dimitrymarushak9952 You are the one who is clearly deluded and you sound like a narcicistic bully yourself. Stay in your lane! Just a word of advice 😂
@@janetmeyer4540 You did the right thing in my opinion and it's so important to have boundaries with these types of people. You give an inch they take a mile. How dare she expect you to be there like her lap dog, she clicks her fingers and says jump..you say how high? No time for that. Respect needs to work both ways. There needs to be a mutual exchange of energy in a friendship. Well done for creating those boundaries with your so called friend and you shouldn't even need to give her explanation or have to make up an excuse either because you owe her nothing. Stay strong angel x
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@@dimitrymarushak9952 Heeeeeey Narcissist 👋🏽!
I'm finally in a good place with the silent treatment. It just bores me now. It's good!
🙌🏾
This describes everything that I’m experiencing in my current relationship. Like every single signpost that he mentioned is what I have been experiencing. Sometimes we go through things and what makes what’s happening to us more difficult to deal with is not knowing how to articulate it or what to call it. This was liberating because it lets me know that I’m not crazy.
I appreciate your honesty. My mother is a narcissist and we don't have a mother/ daughter relationship. I only allow my kids very limited contact with her. I used to be upset about this but now realize that I needed to do this. Thank you for acknowledging your behavior and speaking about your personal life.
my father Is a narcassist ....power controlling money orientated and evil man with 0 self reflection and unable to give a compliment at all
I'm loving it ‼️ silent treatment so peaceful 💯🙌🧘🏿♀️
I think it's also a self protect thing. If they tried to talk to you, you're gonna come back at them and make them feel shame, guilt, etc. and that causes pain in the childhood wounds that are still open and can be hurt. It's like if you just had surgery on your knee and you go out in public you're gonna protect that knee from other people who might bump into it and hurt you. Same thing when a Narc is giving you the silent treatment, they're trying to avoid the possibility of getting hurt. It's so frustrating trying to deal with the Narc when they go silent.
Yes - Love that you clarified that intent matters. You could be doing nothing wrong, and they will find something and blame you for everything, plus things that aren't even true. They have zero accountability.
Almost 2 years in that hell. Was struggling with anxiety. Finally moved out last month. Slowly healing but the fear and worry is still there.
stay strong
I'm experiencing same now
I couldn’t take the silent treatment seriously. I purposely continued on with my day smiling and laughing talking with my kids. Ignoring her completely as she was acting more like a toddler than my kids. I asked what was wrong she wouldn’t tell me and I said ok great so it’s not my problem 🤣🤡
Your energy >
I do the same. I laugh and smile with my kids. Life goes on.
😵😵
This is exactly what I'm doing. I asked what's wrong once or twice in the beginning and then just shrugged and thought, "Ok, did all I could, I'm accessible if he wants to eventually use his words" and then went about my life. It's been a year-and-a-half (but I don't live with him, just next door).
🎯💯
My husband went code 502 for 3 weeks straight. He didn’t even communicate about our child’s needs. When I remind him 9 months later he went blank for 3 weeks he didn’t believe me. He even said if he had gone silence for that long I’m going to sign the divorce papers. I read my journal to him and made him listened the voice memos. Gaslighting at its best… We are still married I think I’m scared eventhough I’m financially independent
My narcissist is my next door neighbor and we were romantically involved. He's been giving me the silent treatment now for over a year-and-a-half. I just "act unbothered" anytime I see him outside, and casually say hello as I go about my business, which makes him SUPER MAD. I decided I'm just going to continue not to play into his "punishment" and maybe one day he'll say hello back. Meanwhile, I'm being normal.
I thank God everyday for removing that person from my life!!!
The silent treatment was the most anxiety inducing experience, it always came before he would go absolutely wild at me.
I wouldn’t be able to do anything or focus or sleep for days because I knew what was coming next.
I am so grateful I have found your channel! I’m an empath raised by a narcissist and it is so interesting to see openness and honesty from you. It is refreshing. My mom is covert and there’s a lot of gaslighting so I want to let you know that us empaths really, really appreciate you giving us this insight.