Does His Silence Mean It's Over & He's Lost Interest???
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2023
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If a man goes silent on you, your response should be: NEXT GUY, PLEASE!!! Life's too short for immature men. Wish him the best and move on. If he's the right one, he would've shown you this.
ok but if he were the right one it would hurt like hell...
IF a man goes SILENT on you, he absolutely is NOT the RIGHT ONE for you! He is deliberately CHOOSING to cause you HURT by giving you reason to doubt him. A man who truly cares for you will NOT try to harm you in ANY way; he will bend over backwards to REASSURE you that he is there for you.❤️
You are a valuable person, deserving of the same love and respect you offer to others. Do not underestimate your own worth.🌹
Good points, Lao and Polly. People always show you who they are. When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. Character is defined by actions.
Words and actions need to be aligned. That's integrity.. Facts aren't feelings. Don't listen to excuses or bs. If you cannot trust a man, stop seeing him.
Don't collect red flags and dealbreakers.
@@pollyscookies9180 i get it. Our hearts are not brains, tho, & don't understand that logic. If you can say "next," like a man can, than he wasn't the right one indeed!
What if he goes silent but protests that he's still interesting and only busy with work?
The days of pining over an emotionally unavailable man are over. If he disappears, he better stay gone. No more second chances with men like this. They waste too much time. If you are younger and want to get married and have kids, learn to move on when men show up and disappear or start acting confused or tell you they don't know what they want.
Ghosting and silence means coward and who needs a coward
Sometimes it takes time to asses one's feelings...
@@JonathonAslayThen they should be mature men and communicate that they feel confused and ambivalent versus just ghosting someone.
@@godislove4540they can't...the rules book helped me understand this fact and not get hurt every time...but to just keep dating and moving on
@@godislove4540Actually, they’re doing you a favor by letting you know they’re just not into you and that’s not an easy thing to tell people without hurting their feelings. You may handle it that another way, but that’s the way they do it and he’s obviously not a good fit for you.
@@Ellegirle I don’t see that as doing someone a favor. I listened to a podcast recently by Dr. Delaney. A woman called in with her boyfriend because he wouldn’t commit after being together for four years. Dr. Delaney got real with him and got him to admit that he didn’t even want to be with her anymore. He said that he didn’t tell her this because he wanted to be “nice.” Ha! I don’t think being dishonest, ignoring someone, ghosting, someone, leading someone on, or being with them when you really don’t love them anymore is being nice. I think it’s cowardly and I think it’s dishonest.
I will never help a guy exit. I will just ignore him like he ignores me.
How does that serve you?
It makes me happy not to help a coward
@lotusmccary9365; My philosophy is kinda the same; after my 2 Nd divorce, however, my present relationship is highly unusual because it’s more Spiritual . ( Doctor John Gray has some good advice in his “ Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus...” books . ) I was extremely sheltered or monitored growing up and I never had but one ‘date’ in my whole life. My dad said something to him that scared him off because after he brought me back home and just before he left , he told me that I would not be seeing him again. I never had dates with either of my husbands but , I learned that they had dates before and after we were married. Afterwards, I learned to set “High Standards “ for myself which helps me to prevent ‘low quality relationships ‘ from entering my life. I feel strongly that I found GOD, Jesus Christ and was Baptized in Jesus Christ; focused on my Spirituality, upgrading my mind, heart, body , Soul and Spirit and learned to Accept and Love myself. I have acquired much education and at least one degree ( after many certifications ) . My relationships have improved for me, I can’t speak for the guys who, wanted me and I told him straight I was not interested and it wouldn’t work; however, he pestered me and wouldn’t leave so after I was with him , I asked him what he thought and he said he had to agree with me. That’s when I told him to get his pants on and “ get the Fuck outta my house. And next time a female tells you NO ... believe what she says and take a hike with pleasure.” Which graduated to a cop , we had a good relationship until he told me that he was getting married to his “ attachment”. ( News Flash for me.) I found a way to let him go with kindness and ease. And , a way for me to SAVE my heart from feeling like a ‘ derelict sunken ship in the briny, blue deep. Then , I set my mind on GOD and asked if I had need of a mate , then , I put the matter into HIS hands. I met someone in 1988 on the radio but I thought we had somehow lost touch until earlier this year. That’s why I mentioned the Spirit, for it is Strong. I still wait on the Lord in this relationship knowing that I have FAITH and “ what GOD has brought together,I won’t allow anyone to put our relationship asunder. I apologize for taking up your time so, I will close here. Thank you 🙏 for reading; I appreciate it greatly. ✝️
@@lotusmccary9365 🤣🤣🤣
I used to get so anxious by the silence. To me the silence means I am not rejected I am actually being protected. Which to me it means he needs time to think, and if I never ever hear from him again then I am being saved from being in a bad relationship.
And I am not at all waiting around for him I am 100% living my life, socializing, and doing the things I like, and if he just so happens to contact me later on then I'll have a lot to talk to him about. Instead of sitting around and pining away. Go me, ha-ha!
I like your perspective, but I think it's too optimistic. I think 90% of the times men go silent, they either lost interest or they're "benching" us. Either way, we should match the energy and pull back too.
@@MariaMedina-lj4ktAgree. He'll be back, drunk texting you for a booty call. It's best to ignore their temp checks.
@@MariaMedina-lj4kt The silent treatment is also what Narcs do to put us in line if we said/did something they don't like but they are dysfunctional and don't say it verbally. They tell us they are not happy with us through the silent treatment. I think we should be more focused on what we are willing to put up with. Once someone gives me the silent treatment it triggers me about my ex covert Narc I was with for 6 years so I will usually end things when someone does it.
@@Terra_inthe406 The silent treatment is utterly disrespectful and coward and I think it's only acceptable when the person we're giving the silent treatment has hurt us beyond words or has become some sort of psycho stalker.
Clearly he's been with some bar chick he met 18 mo ago and immediately they're inseparable? He was so lonely and we couldn't heal but kept going to each other! But I got none of his fun.. vacationing guy that takes her to Bahamas for her 40th? I got nothing for my 50th as it was ending! However if not for me... he would never had the money from ME SELLING HSE...HE WAS GONNA LET BANK TAKE IT! THINKING ID BE PUNISHED BY WALKING AWAY WITH NOTHING! SMH...
Its rude and a glimpse of how awful they would treat you. Be thankful they showed you who they are before you waste a bunch of time with them. Don't put up with rude, it only gets worse if you do. They don't deserve your head space.
👍👍👍
One thing I’ve learned in life is that you can’t expect people to treat you the way you would threat them. We want that but we don’t always get it. Stop expecting men to explain why it didn’t work, the truth is their silence can be heartbreaking and they don’t even know it. I learned that I don’t need closure, I thought I did but I look back at those men now and realized that in that moment of heartbreak and rejection things could have been different if they would have just been truthful to me when it ended instead of going silent. That’s what I do when I don’t have feelings for someone, explain the situation so they have closure and move on. Stop making excuses in your head for their lack of compassion and empathy. As moms we need to make sure our boys know better and treat all women in their lives with respect. A man once told me “I tell my daughters when a man doesn’t treat you right ask your self is that how I would want my daughter to be treated?” Ya, that’s the man that sent me a text he no longer wanted to continue communicating. I blame his upbringing for that!
If a man treats you poorly, its time to exit. Make it clear to him.that youre done, whatever his issues may be. Don't allow someone to treat you like an option or a back up plan..If you're not on the same page, you're not aligned. Be strong enough to walk away from what doesnt work for you, and be patient enough to wait for the blessings you deserve. Know your power.❤
Invest in those that invest in you .Dont wait around for anyone. You're in charge of your relationship destiny. You can only truly be in love with someone that you know really well. I admire your son, for doing the right thing!
👏👏👏
People need to stop sleeping with people in order to "get to know" someone. Not only is it a sin called fornication in the Bible, it's also for our protection. God knows that sleeping together is nothing but using others for personal gain and it goes against HIS beautiful design of marriage.
200 hours is about right. My partner and I spent every weekend together for two months before we decided to date. I’m so glad we did! As for men going silent, I always figured it just meant they weren’t into it and I moved on.
I love what you said about romance! That is so true! Anyone can romance you to get what they want, but if you fall for someone who has the wrong motives, you’ve set yourself up for a painful fall.
👍👍👍
A man's doubts equals a woman is out!!!!
Doubt is a natural feeling when there's uncertainly...
@@JonathonAslay yes, and uncertainty equals I must exit and move along my merry happy way!!
That entire part!!!!
@@gwortman3515absolutely Queen don’t have time for inconsistent behaviors… life is too short my time and happiness is too valuable wasting time on people who don’t deserve it
Ask all the right questions right away. Most men will blow it pretty soon has been my experience. Bring up subjects that are important to you and see how they react. Don't react in a negative way and soon they willshow the real person. This way of finding the right man has worked most of the time for me! ❤❤❤❤ you Jonathon best wishes!
Exactly
It hurts,I’ve been there and do you know what I’ve learned? Drop him like a hot potato and keep it moving. Don’t look back again. I wouldn’t invest so much time and energy or head space on someone who really doesn’t care about me.
Hot potato 😂 that was funny ❤
@@ellagoldie9686 that wasn't funny some men doing you wrong drop him like a hot tater... This man will always n always will do you wrong.
@@ellagoldie9686 that wasn't funny some men doing you wrong drop him like a hot tater... This man will always n always will do you wrong.
👍👍👍
I just wish he would vocalize what he's uncertain about instead of using silence. I once said his silence feels like he's indifferent. He said no, not at all, its indecision. I valued him so I could have put him in the friend category and been content with that.
Modern men don't have the skills to do this. Generally men have been given a pass on communication and doing their inner work. Women were stuck with men because they didn't have other options. Women have a lot of options now and men are going to have to mature or they will never get laid because women aren't interested in those games. They're busy going to college and having fulfilling careers and lives. Women have better options than getting jerked around by mediocre men. This will force them to start doing the work.
Agree Christine. Silence and ignoring can be a control game. BS and gameplaying. . In spite of everything ,It's no guarantee, they'll do the work or change.. Communication in a career can be completely different than communication in interpersonal relationships. You're right about women having options. Self centric, defiant, and stubborn men do not make good or healthy relationship partners.
The silent treatment and stonewalling is unacceptable.
"5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man"
"Careers" are NOT fulfilling. Who gives a shit about making money for someone else? Likely while you are struggling to survive.
that's a job you're describing. Careers can be very fulfilling, especially when you're working for yourself and a greater purpose.
Chemistry and attraction are super important to me. A relationship without those is not possible. If so, it becomes a boring friendship. And if I am attracted then I am attracted forever. This is why I don’t « date ». Everyone is different and one formula doesn’t fit everyone.
Indeed
same. if it isn't there in the beginning, never going to get there. Is it different for men?
@@mariad1151 I think most men who have not been emasculated feel the same. Then it is up to a woman in a relationship to keep the "flame" alive. Man gives a green light to relationship, woman feeds it. If a relationship becomes boring it is a duty of a woman to rekindle it. I am a very traditional when it comes to gender roles and I love it this way. To me a man is the head of a household. Period Regardless of how much money he makes. Otherwise, he becomes emasculated and just an attachment. A man pretty much knows quickly what kind of relationship he wants you for. At least that is the kind of man I want. Not interested in daters. Respect a man or get out of a relationship pool.
@@UrsaBella well disagree w you there. I think that ultimately male/female difference is almost totally cultural & learned from family. What is the connection to visceral attraction that you are making? That it diminishes for men based on those peripheral issues of gender role play? For women, too?
“Chemistry” is fleeting. It’s hormones and anxiety talking. Attraction is important-we all have our different likes and dislikes. True deep connection has to grow over time-the surface stuff is fleeting. Friendship is very important.
I’m silent and am a woman - I’m questioning relationship.
The truth hurts, and I was feeling so bewildered when I listened to what you had to say....then right at the end there was a glimmer of hope. I hadn't been transparent with my love and hid behind a mask in order not to hurt myself, yet again.
So, I'm going to take the initiative, all but slowly, and see what transpires from there. Thank you Jonathan, it's time for me to wake up.❤
My mindfulness card asked, "Why do you feel it is important to be kind?" This helps me not get so frustrated and so angry. Premeditated kindness, not love-bombing or being passive because it causes subconscious resentment; it's much better to be looking at than looking at the blueprint of drama. Don't connect the dots to the wrong thing. Connect the dots of what gives you inner-peace, recognizing your achievements, gratefulness, self-love and kindness. That's personal growth, too!
Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks for sharing my story Jonothan…so much to learn. Thank you ❤
Thanks for listening
This is why this world is the way it is. Never in my life have I heard that it’s OK for a woman to chase a man!
Am I the only one who secretly hopes that Marie changes her mind? ❤❤❤
Me too! :)
Jonathon, although it's too late to show this video to my ex, I'd like you to know that you've described my life in a nut shell over the last few years. I've worked hard on myself ( of course with your awesome advice and wisdom). I not only blame my ex as I once did and cried poor me, I blame myself. I so agree with you that many of us have problems communicating and sometimes come from brokenness. What I like about you the most is your honesty and will to share your past issues. Life is hard but is a huge learning experience as well. I don't have the fear of being alone. I love my space but It would be nice to share my life with a man who has the same values as me. Bottom line is I'm quite OK not being in a relationship if it never happens. It's for me to love who I am, being comfortable in my own skin and enjoying my own company. You have set many things straight to me. I admire your wisdom and I wish you the best in life!! Hugs and ❤
Much appreciated 🙏
Excellent summary! Thank you, Jonathon!
Glad it was helpful!
They lose interest because they never really had it.
Yes
Hit the nail right on the head Jonathan 🎯 🎯❤️
Very Helpful! Love the vows! Thank you 🙏❤️
Glad it was helpful!
I started telling my husband his non responses is a response :(
Thank you jonathan for this video. You're the best! I really enjoy The short videos.
Glad you like them!
I had two great dates with a guy I really liked but they were three weeks apart. The guy is 65 and had been divorced 7 years. He didn’t communicate in between those two dates. He contacted me about a week before he wanted to go out. We talked for hours over dinner and then drove back to our respective homes. He hugged me goodbye. He would contact me right after to say he has a great time. After the last date, i just never heard from him again after those initial texts that said he had the best time. It was the weirdest thing because we did have a great time.
Love this presentation 👏🏻 thank you ❤🎉
So glad!
I don’t mind a “rejection”, or ending the relationship, if men would just be honest and say it and not waste my time dragging something out. I will not waste a man’s time with whom I feel we aren’t growing toward something. But in my limited experience since divorce, men still want to put their decision on the woman with silence or breadcrumbs or confusing communication. Now, if I start to observe this I exit stage left immediately. I want to enjoy life and refuse to devote anymore time with anxiety, stress and doubt in a relationship. When its right I’ll know its right. I’ve used the dating vows, it definitely helps rule men out. They usually chime in right away when you are intentional with them in this way.
6 years in and he broke up with me. Found out later, he had been cheating with a few women and started a new relationship while with me and still being intimate. Now he's changed his number and ghosted me. I've known him 23 years. Can u say narcissist?
Why do you ask?
Idk. I still have hope but I realized it's stupid
Jonathon, can you make more videos on using mutual vulnerability to strengthen a relationship?
I used to have a book called, Women Who Love Too Much, that said two people get together and so do their demons. A superficial relationship feels safer, but the lack of intimacy means you are with a stranger.
I don't like that you said, "he stays until someone better comes along" - better?? ouch, that's harsh....
I understand
Exactly. I think it's absolutely selfish and more importantly totally wrong. To string someone along until someone "better" comes along. That kind of conscious cruelty can destroy someone's heart. There is no excuse for this bad dating behavior. People need to do better..or don't do it at all.
I always learn so much from what you share and I can also relate to so much of what you do share. Thank you!
Thanks for watching!
I care about him a lot, and I know he is going through a lot and has a lot of work to do. He is now silent and I don't hate him but I need to protect myself. This is not the first time.
But he has now been demoted to Good Friend and the longer it goes on the more he will be demoted. This means he still has a chance, but I did a lot of work on myself while we were apart and he needs to do the same before we can move on
Thank you I'm in bed now on Saturday I don't know why I need someone with brains to help and many more helpers they haven't showed up.
Thanks Jonathon
Thank you for your videos
Glad you like them!
I admire how your son did the "honorable" thing in his breakup. At least he gave the other party clarity. I had an on and off relationship with a person for about six months when he unfriended me from FB. I felt we had finally made movement in being open, honest, and on our way to better times, and then 36 hours later, ghosted. I could understand if this person was younger, but being middle aged, and pulling such a juvenile move, it was unnecessary as I expect a middle-aged man to "have the hard conversations" like this or be open to having these conversations. We were perfect opposites of each other, fell into sync from the beginning, but I do know he has had a horrible divorce years ago that, once the layers are back, the damage is massive, and I've known from the beginning, it would take time. I feel our closeness and movement was scaring him, like you suggest, (or perhaps I inadvertently disrespected, or something along these lines) and that's why he ghosted, however, I don't know. While processing the past six months, I'm fine with the complete sever-if that is what he wants- however, knowing how authentic he showed his emotions on that last day, and then thirty-six hours later I'm unfriended, my question is "why do it that way if you wanted to break up?" I sense there is something in the background keeping the light of the connection on dim, waiting for time, spirit whatever you wish to call it, to intervene and bring us back together- it's probably a false hope complex on my end- but there is something in that question, that needs to be addressed, to ensure the complete sever, (Or a reconciliation) but I'm not sure he wanted to sever as he kept calling (over the phone calls) open. That's my dilemma. So, while I'm sitting in no contact, I'm doing the things I need to do for me, there are times when he reenters my mind. A song, I look and is see him standing nearby as a phantom form that lingers briefly and moves on. I want to reach out to resolve this, and it takes every bit of willpower not to. I don't have clarity, without that clarity it's an unnecessary cliffhanger. If it's done; it's done, I'm a big girl communicate that clearly -you're a grown man; we can communicate like two adults. If space and a pause is needed, I'm a big girl communicate that clearly; again, you're a grown man; we can communicate like two adults. This is my dilemma. I'm stuck on how to interpret this narrative. If he needed time and I reach out, then I disrespected his boundaries. If it is over, and I reach out, it looks as if I'm desperate and needy. I can only follow the following mantra: Be still and know I am God. This being still is frustrating as hell.
Sweetheart IMHO, you're blocked and he's not called, IT'S OVER. Ghosting = Gone. If he FB blocked you and is calling, you deserve to know where you stand with him. Good luck 🍀
My ex-boyfriend completely ghosted me for months. I reached out to him several times and no response. Then we finally started texting. He said that he missed me so much and that he wanted to commit to me again. I gave him another chance. This is probably the third chance I have given him. It wasn’t long before he completely ghosted me again. He got what he wanted and then disappeared. I texted him several times over and over again and he chose to completely ignore me. I couldn’t stand it so I continue to reach out. It made me look pathetic and desperate. It is the most hurtful thing someone can do to another person. I can handle being rejected but I can’t handle being ignored. It has been very painful for me so I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. With time you will heal completely and you will never think about this disgusting human being again. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You deserve better anyways
@christiemaire in my situation, he isn't disgusting, but he's letting the hurt Ego take control. But you are correct, I didn't deserve an ending like that. He knew, from the beginning that my last boyfriend did the same when he wished to end whatever we had going, and I had to badger to get that ex to say "it's over". I shouldn't have had to take such extreme measures to get the truth. This one, as soon as I say, "I know he's not going to reach back out"... the voice of the universe somewhere says "how do you know?" - it did this several times within that six months we saw each other, when I had fears, doubts etc. The conversation needs to come- the ball is in his court. There's not much I can do. Whatever way the conversation goes, it's finality, or it's a new start...win-win for my psyche
If he wanted a hard ending, then why did he leave phone call communications open.
@@susanwithrow9289 yeah, someone who doesn’t have the capacity to empathize with others and how their actions might hurt people is really hard for me to understand. I was begging my ex for closure and he couldn’t even text me back. It went from doing amazing to him just pulling away without giving me an explanation and not even texting me back. It’s hard when they know that they are hurting you but still won’t give u the time of day.
@@susanwithrow9289Because you allowed it. Your self esteem is low and he knows you have feelings for him and that he can use you for egoic reasons. If you had higher self esteem you'd stop taking his calls and move on. No need to discuss anything with him. Radio silence, no matter what he does.
❤❤❤ you make me energetic!!!
True the scarcity mentality is due to the time investment, choose who to invest time in wisely
Tha's the sadest and depressing truth I've ever heard.....like MONTHS just to figure out IF the person it's enough?
I think people should not date other people just as a hobbie
The problem is people just date because are boring by them selves and not because they find really atractive the other person
That's so hopeless and sad
Thank you ❤
Sometimes we do talk but it's like our words aren't valued so we shut down
An associate I know was disappointed a guy she reached out last week to her he just want sex. She told me I always attracted to the wrong guys and she might as well go back to her ex.
I send a few of Jonathan and few other videos and told her about the book 8 dates. She told me she don’t have time. She desperate for a man. I told her don’t complain to me about no man until you decide to work on your self development and read/ listen to the stuff I send you. Some people don’t want to do the work and you have to set boundaries .
It's rarely ever good to seek love while in a desperate place...
Why is she desperate for trouble?
@@lotusmccary9365 She told me she lonely. I and others told her it normal to want someone but you got do it the right way. She got rejected by two men last week. Anyway she got do her own self development.Many people(men and women) try to assist her with videos, books,etc. Most people not going keep assist no one if they not doing the work she not a minor. I put my foot down because she keep complaining to me without any changes. I wasn’t the only one to do this.
The woman on the live was a beautiful woman. She is not aware of her power. I feel she played her hand wrong. But the great thing is that the rude dude isn't the last man on earth, and she'll be able to try her hand again.
Fantastic ❤️❤️❤️
Marvelous ideas for dating!!
Glad you think so!
I can't even get 90 days it's usually 2 weeks and the guy go silent and ghosts me. It happening now with a guy I'm talking to. I keep telling myself he's in his feelings he'll come around but I'm noticing it's getting worse it went from hours to now it's days.
My question is this: after a man and a woman decide that they want to move toward commitment, and they decide they love each other… do their feelings continue to grow? Does a man still stay attracted to his wife?
Johnson but henever liked questions. Ty for your video
Can you elaborate?
@JonathonAslay I would ask about his feelings and why he couldent show his emotions. He said he dident line questions. But of course he cared or he wouldent be here. We did have alot of issues but I excepted we are not young in our sixties and both were married before I am a widow he was devorsed.
I still care for him alot but just wants to keep in touch on the phone .I don't think I can do that I don't want a phone buddy. Pl help
I'm old fashioned, and I believe that walking in traditional Christian values is truly in our best interest as human beings. According to the bible, God created us, and he gave us the correct rules to live by while we are on this earth - because he loves us as his own children , and he wants to spare us from the pain and heartache which our sinful behavior will bring down upon us.
God tells us that he designed sexual activity exclusively for a married couple - one man and one woman. When a man pressures a woman - one to whom he is not married - for sex, he is behaving selfishly and sinfully. When a woman gives of herself in sex with a man who she is not married to, she too is being sinful and irreverent toward God. (She is also is also disrespecting her very self - by considering what she has to offer to be of little worth, while to God she has infinite and incomparable value!) Either way, they are breaking God's law - his wise design for a holy marriage relationship. Pain and heartache will surely result from such disregard for God's blessing through following his instruction.
If a woman casually gives of herself sexually to a man, and then expects that physical intimacy to build into a committed romantic relationship, she will likely be disappointed. She is going about things in a backwards manner. The man is already getting what he wants - for free! Why would he now feel motivated to tie himself down with a serious emotional/financial commitment to this one woman - to get what she's already giving to him?
This old saying is a bit crude - but it's true, I think: "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?"🥛.😁!
🐄...Moo!❤️.
I totally agree. I've jumped in before with intense chemistry. The relationship was never there. It never developed. Now I want a relationship first. I'm taking my damn time. And I was ghosted for it.
I like the idea of the dating rules.
🫡Johnathan!
💯Great commentary!👍🏾
I like a man to LEAD me in a possible long-term relationship, i must see and feel his pursuit, masculinity and interest, if not, bye.
I know that we are not equally yoked and for some reason i cant look at him anymore as a potential love interest.🤷🏾♀️
Not feeling it.
Thank you
You're welcome
Here also in italy Jonathon same physical beauty
Good timing for this video, though not a guy I met.
Yesterday morning he mentioned meeting today(Sunday). Since we had so few emails and my standard is speak prior to meeting I mentioned speaking. No reply and its over 24 hours.
Interesting
Yeah, wasn't expecting no reply after asking to meet me. Most men will speak prior.
😂😂😂 love the ☕️ mug bid brother❤ Thanks for your work always! You’re amazing Jonathan 🎉
Thanks again!
This is good advice Jonathon... Now just find me a man who'll agree 🎉, Lol ❤
It's hurting to know he giving me silence fir one week now and he texting other girls with exactly similar times he used to messaged me etc. I do believe he date someone close to him too. All of our futur planned is shattering ....2 years long distance relationship.
😤😤😤 this is for the users
I wish wish wish that I knew about red flags and how to vet when I was younger..I'm sure my life would be different.....so I suppose it's never to late 🤗🇦🇺
You know what why bother it shouldn't be this hard I guess there is something wrong with me I have never had a relationship and I have been single for ever . I am now 70 years old and someone showed interest in me for 7 yrs and hid me for all that time I guess that is why I stayed away from this as I just don't get anyone who really cares. It is too hard and I trust no one most of all men. I don't want heartbreak ever again anyway I am too old now anyway.😭💔
Btw Jonathon!
What about Jill Collins? ( I think she's really into you 😊)
Thank you for the video as always.❤
Who is she? How do you know she is into him? Lol
Dating coaches can be great however its important to realise men and woman are humans and as such are not text book. I could like a man but be very busy with my children. That doesn't mean I lost intrest just that I am busy. I know a giy went quiet but he was doing new things so he was busy. Everyone is not occupied with another potential.
After we’ve been together over a year he always became silent after he said things hurt me. He didn’t even try to make an effort to talk to me or says sorry after he hurt me. This has happened many times.
I finally decide to break up with him but my heart so broken and hurt because I am still in love with him. 💔
You're still in love? Love is NOT enough to make a relationship successful. And stay away from people who hurt you multiple times especially if they don't apologize. Life's too short to be with someone that makes you unhappy.
And why would you love someone who treats you so poorly and is clearly so unhealthy and immature.
Good points, Ladies.
He is seeing someone else . When they start acting indifferent, they either talk to someone else or reflect on how to end the relationship.
@@lalaheart76can they ever be that they are stressed and depressed, but don't know how to handle their emotions? Does it always have be other women? Are we just programmed to think negatively 1st?
What if he goes silent ,then disappears .then comes back at another interval.or intermittently returns ,then rinse and repeat. Guess just after the FWB situation.
Why do you accept this behavior?
Well, my silence means I've lost interest. I don't hv much patience for the hot/cold silliness. He's either in or he's out. Man-up or be gone .
When it's a good match, there are no silly back and forth games, you are both aligned and move full speed ahead w/ease and humor, you feel it in your bones that it's right, there is calmness.
The wondering, attempts to decode and mindread, are distractions from facing the truth that it's probably not a match. Close maybe, but not a match right now. Not everyone finds a lid for their pot, many will settle and then moan on endlessly, blaming the other for their misery.
Exactly
What about when they pull back and you notice a change in them, they don’t initiate texting but they still respond to your messages and go out with you occasionally. Should you continue to message them ?
Why bother or pursue? You deserve someone who will show up with the same energy you are. Don’t settle as you deserve from your partner what you will invest.
No!!!
Men “know” when they WANT a woman ……
And will break their necks, to keep her interest. I have 70 cousins ….. you READ that correctly …… and ONLY 10 of them are female’s.
I’ve never seen a guy (UNLESS he was TOXIC, or playing GAMES) be “upfront” about his intentions, with a women he is SERIOUS about!
* Key Word: SERIOUS 🧐
Having said that; when I was younger …. Men would let me know (within the FIRST three months) “where” our relationship was headed. I had CLEAR plans for my ENTIRE life, and I made that “abundantly” clear. They would instinctively, tell me if they could be a part of that …. Or Not. I would also know, if it were true. It is vitally important, to know WHO you are …. And to vet individuals (WITHOUT “any” conflict or confusion) brought on, from sexual interactions. This will cloud, any and ALL decision making. Plus, men will literally say ANYTHING, to have sex with you.
Once Sex is OFF the table ….. they don’t have any bargaining chips. Especially if you’ve told them, your saving sex for your husband/marriage.
No, he’s using you to fill time when he’s bored. He’s not that into you. He will pop back up occasionally and give you ‘hope’ but this is just an ego boost for him because he knows you’ll reply to ‘crumbs’. It’s happened to me so many times. My advice is stop messaging completely.
Do you want a long term relationship? If he shows you he’s flaky, there’s your answer. Doesn’t sound like someone who’s in it for the long haul.
💯 Rebecca .
What's your perspective if the man does not want to discuss issues that are materialistic to the relationship and shuts down verbally? I think this is what you call the avoidant type?
Yes
Man I am so confused about my relationship with the guy I love he seemed to want love but.wow confused 😢😢😢
I don’t want no man they cannot be trusted they always cheat they just get what they want and they move on and then say it’s the partner. No one is held to any accountability or responsibility for others they learn from their parents to be the way they are instead of doing the work they just hit it and quit it I’m glad my parents weren’t like that
I was ghosted after six months😟
Hi Jonathan. ..do you think double texting is chasing ? What if he’s avoidant…would he feel smothered ? I feel weird texting when I didn’t get a reply 😮
Have to add it’s almost 24 hours
Maybe
As usual, this is great advice, Jonathon. You're absolutely right. Love can be fickle but both partners must feel it. You must be proud of Collin for telling her he wasn't feeling it in person. That takes bravery that most people lack nowadays! He's obviously listening to you and you have a great relationship.
Can I ask a favor? I recently learned my ex-husband (we were together 17 years) has married a man! I never suspected he was into guys while we were married but his dad hurt the whole family by marrying his mother although he was gay. Obviously, that affected my ex even more than I perceived. I am asking you to do a video about this because there's little written online about this situation.
I get that I'm not to blame and it's no reflection on my worth/attraction, etc. I plan to take this to therapy. But for those afraid to go to counseling, you'd be doing a great service by doing a video, I hope.
Thank you for being a wise dating/life coach! Hugs!
This is outside my experience level...
Hi I know whst your saying this happen to me but it was after 3and half years how could this be I cared for him so much. And then he wants to end it I don't understand. Ty for an answer if u can
What's the question?
@@JonathonAslayHow could he suddenly break up with her after 3 yrs 😢😢
@rocio292 was the relationship built on a weak foundation?
@@JonathonAslay don't think so ..not sure
Human beings are so unpredictable. You will never understand why he is changing his mind. Either je finds someone else or he lost interest. Don't try to understand his motive. Let him go.
He doesn't talk, takes long to reply..He never becomes first to msg me and he says he is not interested..But on other hand he always keeps staring at me..Whenever he sees me walking on the road, he definitely looks back and gives me a glance..He hasn't saved my number but when he wanted to buy a new car, he was constantly messaging me to ask which car I suggest..And He bought exactly the same car and same colour which I told him I like..And as soon as he bought the car he again stopped talking to me..Whyyyy???These tow types of behaviour are so confusing. Its killing me..I am not able to find the answer why he behaves hot and cold with me..I am so tired, plz help😔😔
Men create mediocre relationships
It's funny like so many of them just don't care about it.
I feel like if you as a woman were to ask a guy to do a dating vow they could roll their eyes and call you crazy or is it just me meeting terrible ppl ?
Yes, most men will laugh because they're not serious about commitment.
He ghosted right after the online marriage ceremony
Online ceremony?
@@JonathonAslay yes sir June 29. Ghosted me the first week. Then when he does contact me always typing on the phone 🤳
@@loveandhappiness8178 are you legally married?
His silence is a choice! A coward will always try to escape the consequences of their actions! 2+ years together and someone can’t end a relationship and ghosted me so you do the same thing back you make it be over! Changed my number and moved on with my life. You don’t have respect for me I don’t have respect for you. No way am I waiting to see if it meant it was over or he lost interest grown adults don’t leave you in silence.
What!?!?
Que importa. Ya, si se le desea el bien. Siempre lo hice. Pue
Unfortunate
The one benefit of my Bae being in prison is that we communicate a great deal. He has about one year left, and he has already discussed his plans for us. I expressed to him that I am a little TERRIFIED by the move from Canada to the US and the changes that are to come. But he reassured me that he has no reservations and is extremely excited about our future. His confidence is encouraging.
And, people change their mind...
@@JonathonAslay yes, definitely one of my concerns 😬 We shall see.
I just don't believe that people should have sex so soon. A good book is "Too Close Too Soon". I think it's very disrespectful for either a man or woman to expect sex buy a tenth date. That to me, just sounds gross. How can anyone understand another person's soul in just ten dates and a forced expectation for sex? I'd rather stay single. I don't think an agreement should be entered into AFTER sex either. I think a dating pre-nup should come before sex, because you should never make an agreement with someone you don't know well, and trust. There is no way trust can be built in less than 10 dates. Deceivers are out in the world and they can fool anyone for a short time. And will say anything and do anything to get free sex. Sorry Jonathan! I learn so very much from you, but THIS sex so soon idea goes against everything I believe to be true. ❤
Seriously? Doubt? Even 20 yrs together? Separated 3 yrs..but... he was in an 18 mo tornado of a relationship! So... naturally I've been praying for reconciliation for 2 yrs... he's been confused but I'm the legal wife n I'm now the dirty little secret?
Your ex very high possible is a COVET NARCISSIST😢
.
If you are sure of someone then you don't have to speak to each other every minute of the day! Let's not be immature. Every person has its own way of doing things and you can't read minds!
You got scammed. Why would you ever consent to an online marriage ceremony? Was he on his death bed?
Online ceremony, what's that?
@@JonathonAslay oh, my mistake! Here in your comment section there is a story of a woman that got ghosted after marriage ceremony. An ONLINE marriage ceremony. I thought I commented withing that thread. Here is so out of context🙈
Don't you think online dating is the worst way to meet someone? Occasionally, it can work but more often not
@@aka44441 well, nowdays, for sure...but I am old enough to remember ICQ, mIRC...that was some other time, the profile of the first persons to use internet was different then now...people that met eachother at that point made great couples, founded nice families...nowdays...it's different, literally everybody has internet, and it extends beyond your own native language, so it's even more people out there...it is much harder to find your complementing person online.
At the first days of internet it was great place for somewhat introverts, but extroverts too, well educated and with liking for new technology to find their partner. It was more probable to find mr/miss right online then in your neigbourhood. Nowdays, I believe you can more easely find a human similar to you in your neighbourhood then online.
Please Tell me why does a man keep hinging on..,. To you!.. :O
Unhealed wounds
@@JonathonAslay what does unhealed wounds meaning!.what...
What does unhealed wounds really mean...
I love your VDOs they've helped me so much..I never asked the questions I'm in AA for 6 months I left him..still talking..he has ADHD an addict alchohalic I'm sober hes not..he never got help won't go BACK to AA so..I'm being healthy..I think😅