I Tried Not Giving A F*ck For A Week • Life Coach
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
- “F*ck them and f*ck what they think.”
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Gianni Lee
/ giannilee
"he feels really surprised when anyone want to hang out with him"
ME
ME TOO.
me three
same😀😁😂
me too!!! ._.
Me
The guy at the bus stop is the reason why I'm so shy and unsocial... I always think the person I'm talking to is bored or doesn't want to talk to me
you just have to ignore people like that, not think or care about how they feel, and remind yourself that you're awesome just the way you are. Trust me I used to be the same way and it helps a lot
+J Bullock thanks!! I always try to not care about what people think but sometimes it just gets to me
Amber Chen yeah I completely understand, but I just think to myself "they don't know me so what importance does their opinion hold, none so I'm just going to do me" and once I did this I felt so free and happy
I feel the same way. I really care what others think of me...
I have Social Anxiety
the guy from the bus stop emotionally scarred me and i wasn't even there
Same
same i feel stressed out just watching this video haha
I wish I could be there to tell him that that's not normal, that guy was just a plain idiot, because I know how he feels
bus stop guy was probably having a really rough day, maybe he lost his family/friend/house or was just at his breaking point and this guy comes along asking personal questions. he was mean , yes, but maybe he was going through something. i mean he was just sitting at a bus stop, that's symbolism for waiting to be taken away from a place in your life ;) lol
Sameeee
Can I just say not only is this man beautiful, he seems so sweet too.
Embrace your 'Jaredness'?
Embrace your 'Jaredness'?
😊ikr
I'm sad he's not at least bisexual he's super cute.
Dang yes
Me : *Dieing*
Me: *calls 911*
911: Helo,whats your emergency?
Me :I uhhh..I got shot *closes call*
Me:Oh my god!That was so embarrasing!Did i sound too needy???
Same
*dying
+Bath bomb Booty Typed that comment a bit too quickly :) Thanks.
you can edit comments btw ;)
omg same :((((
I see myself in Jared except im not attractive
same omg
Everyone's unattractive to someone Trust me if you have a good personality people will like you and it adds attractive points !!
same
me
same
Jared is literally me....and I thought it was extremely rude of that guy who said "you should mind your own business " it would've destroyed me too. Some of the worst memories of my childhood involve me being nice to someone and them completely insulting me.
Same, especially in my college everyone has their own group of friends and whenever I try to join in they always act like they hate me
I'm exactly the same. Nice to know I'm not alone!!
Yeah that college thing is true. But its alot better than HS.
Daniel For me, I had a way better experience in HS than in college. I guess I'm weird lol 😂
i agree with you bro. Back when i was in High School, am nice to my friends but they kept bullying me for no reason, (using me as a laughing material ) my whole senior yr was horrible , they are no longer my friend. But am glad in college i met a new set of friends,
I got major anxiety from the interaction he had with that guy at the bus stop, I just couldn't stop thinking about it I was so distracted from the rest of the video. I have to mentally prepare myself before making phone calls, I triple check any text message or email I send and I always try to conjure a plan in my head before I open my mouth to talk to a stranger, which then causes me to ramble or say something wrong... And then I obsess and beat myself up over it for days, which also leads to insomnia. Anyone else?
dude. same. I also couldn't stop thinking about the bus stop part. If that was me I would break. I'm super awkward with people and I always have anxiety with social interactions
Same. I literally rewrote this comment 5 times before I decided that I would say the word "same".
Oh my gosh same
Omgg yessssss finally someone who understandsssss!!!
Sadly....All the time. Damn! Good to know there are other people out there who feel the same. The guy at the bus stop though....I'm pretty sure he reacted the way he did because he felt he was being flirted with. I could be wrong, but I don't know.
Honestly, talking to strangers is a million times worse than a photoshoot or a party. Maybe even the life of the party thing
same omg
yes totally
yes I totally agree sans
yes that's way harder
Why? Talking to strangers is easy. The life of the party thing sounds awkward.
Am I the only one who finds him oddly attractive?😂😂
You're not alone 😉
oodly? he is really handsome its pretty clear
Yeah donno what it is about him 😘
NOT ODDLY AT ALL HE IS SOOOO HOT
Dude is HOT!
People like that guy at the bus station are my pet peeve. Just be nice for Gods sake. I don`t like chatting with strangers either, but if someone who looks as friendly and innocent as Jared would start talking bout his day to me, I wouldn`t tell him to mind his own business. Remember when people talked to other people at public places, instead of looking down at their phones? Yeah, neither do I
dude prob thought he was being hit on.. if it would've been some chick I'm sure he wouldve chatted it up
Well, maybe he wasn't really having a good day. He could've been a bit nicer and gentler about it, though.
For me, people who try to small talk is my pet peeve. Either tell me your entire life story and your deepest darkest secret or don't even. I don't really care about your favorite color you know? I mean I wouldn't be as rude as that dude but again, probably why I don't have a lot of friends.
Baseless assumptions like that are unfair, what happened happened; at least he had the patience to return the gesture, so what if he didn't want to keep talking.
Yeah, be nice to others. But what about be honest and real and not fake?
when that guy said mind your own business I died inside and then I wanted to cuss him out
Me too! He was so rude!
Some people don't look forward to unexpected social interactions. I know if some dude asked me if anything positive happened today I'd tell him "I almost went a whole day without a stranger asking me unnecessary questions!"
how is that rude? he just told him to mind his own business, no problems after. i rather have somebody speak the truth with me then being annoyed
***** well you should. dont expect other people to feel responsible for your emotions. people get offended by everything now a days
He's so cute
so am I
ikr💞
Yasss
yess
You're all cuties
For the people that are complaining about the guy who told Jared to mind his own business - that happens. Not everyone is going to be in the mood to talk to you - heck, people may not even want to be polite and even acknowledge you. There are people in my building who are like that - I greeted them with a "Good morning" and they gave me a sneer and kept walking. I've learned not to care about what they think and I won't say hi to them next time. Don't wast your time with people like this. You made an attempt at conversation or being polite, they rebuffed it, go about your day knowing that you made the effort.
Once I told a customer to have a good afternoon (I work in retail). She glared at me and went 'don't tell me what to do'. Some people just don't appreciate any interaction sometimes, no matter how well meaning.
Yeah, I've worked in retail before as well and some people can be real jerks.
+
I really like that you brought up what that guy's perspective may have been. Right off I wanted to bash him as well because it was an unkind thing to do, but who knows what kind of day he was having, or even what kind of life he has. Doesn't excuse being rude when someone is being kind, but it might have helped Jared to not get so down when it happened
That's true. It's just difficult for something like that not to bother you when you're trying to get out of your shell. but you're right, it's best if you dont pay attention to those people. Sorry if my english sucks, I am dutch.
If dan and phil had a son, this is how he would look like.
That's what I was thinking this entire video 😝
*cough* dil *cough*
and doesnt even like himself😔
he kinda looks like dil lol
+BLURRYFACE isnotonfire dil with weird hair and a long face
Guy at the bus stop was rude AF, like you can't even be polite for 2 minutes?
ikr even if he just didnt feel comfortable sharing things about his life he could've acted in a more nice way!
I felt so sad when I saw it happen because I know if I were in Jared's place I'd be super anxious about it and probably think about it over and over again.
Right? He could have at least been like, "hey man I don't feel like talking right now" and that would've been a million times more civil. Just bad manners
Are you triggered
Because he has to take the bus. Probably hates his life
he's so cute though
dangit he's gay why are all the hot guys gay
+Rhiannon Bennett FUCKibg hell why
omg he's so precious i wanna squish him
+Blue Crayon savage af 😂😂
+Jazlynn Basurto 😂😂
Oh man, hearing someone say to mind my own business when I'm just trying to be friendly/open would destroy me. :( I would not handle that well.
Not everyone feels like conversing with a stranger and it actually gives them anxiety (like myself)
Kailee Chartrand I get that and I don't mind when people say they don't feel like talking. But, "mind your own business" is very confrontational, defensive, and hurtful.
I also theoretically understand that that response might not have anything to do with me; but, it still is the kind of confrontation that would probably make me walk away and either cry about it or feel anxious about it all day. I too have some problems. :/
I think I would have also felt very defensive if some stranger started asking me about any positive things that happened to me today because I would have questioned his or her motive. However, I would have resorted to saying something like "oh no, I no understand English" instead of going all aggressive and telling the guy to mind his own business like that dude did. Maybe he genuinely was not in the mood.
+ElementaryWatson Some people react to things differently and I think it's important we try and see them from different perspectives. I don't think the guy intended to be malicious. At the beginning of the conversation he was polite and responded. When he was asked a bunch of questions pertaining to his day you can see he got uncomfortable. He didn't use a rude tone nor did he yell. I personally would've said something like "I'm not comfortable talking to you about this" but everyone reacts different
Kailee Chartrand I absolutely understand where you're coming from and I absolutely understand that some people are not comfortable with talking to strangers. However, by the same token, It is also important to understand the perspective of the person on the other side. Not only is important that I understand other people don't have the same social graces as myself; it is also important that other people understand the way they say things can be unnecessarily hurtful. I do feel as if his tone of voice and word choice were rude (in fact, "mind your own business" is a phrase I got spanked for saying as a child) and would hope that people understand how I might have an emotional reaction to it.
I would totally hate it if somebody pushed me to go to a party or host a party
YES! I've been close to hosting parties for close friends, but I always ended up cancelling. I don't feel comfortable doing it, plus, the house isn't mine (it's my parents').
Same
but he hated it at the beginning and at the end he loved it !!!
+Nina Potato Well, my name is not Jared.
I'm like him when it comes to talking to people. I can be having a great day but if someone says one small thing that seems rude or whatever, I completely shut down and don't want anything to do with anyone for the rest of the day. I try not to talk to people I don't have to, but I work somewhere that people stop me and ask me questions, but sometimes those people are irritated and it makes me nervous and I feel horrible even if I do help them. I don't get it.
Same! Even if it's my bff or friend
If I have a bad interaction with someone I think about it constantly and worry about it even if it's some random person.
hallieroseamat Yes same!
Jasa Gellert Me too! I'm trying not to be sensitive but like one day I was saying something to my "best friend" and she said "No one cares" and I shut down and felt bad for the rest of the day because I literally felt like everyone was annoyed by me
+canadian_s same but try to forget that somehow,it's not your fault,it's hers.maybe she was having a bad day
As an introvert, I feel his struggles so much I almost cringed, but I don't think being extroverted and sociable necessarily equals self-confidence.
Well while that's true, the guy in the video had low self esteem and they were trying to change that
+Insert clever band username here RYAN ROSS
i don't really know wether i am an extrovert or an introvert
i have many friends but almost no deeper friendship to anyone but my friends say i act like an extrovert and mybe i do so but i am not self confident so you are right
sorry for my bad englisch
*english
Generally people who aren't confident in themselves will back down in social situations and defintely wouldn't initiate a conversation with a stranger. None of this has to even do with extroversion....
"You should mind your own business." My heart sunk. I wasn't even the one who experienced that and it hurt my feelings. :/
It's scary enough to initiate conversation and then to get rejected like that in such a rude way is like a nightmare to me. Anxiety and insecurity sucks.
understandable!!!!! but^^ imagine You sit at the bus stop after having had a really bad day /experience and You wouldn't want to infect other people with your mood, You tell them to leave You alone ... and directly after that, You hate yourself even more bc now you hate yourself for the way You answered to a friendly stranger .... who doesn't know that?:))
so #confidence tip for friendly strangers:
don't take reactions personally :) they are more probably revealing anything about the other person and just sometimes are referring more to You 😊
+Heiki Ka yeah that's understandable, too. I'm just saying, for someone with anxiety, it's kind of heart wrenching to get rejected like that. We automatically assume the person hates us, and tbh, we are probably thinking they hate us before we even know them. I understand that's not fair to them but that's just how our minds and brains function. Well, at least mine anyways. It's very hard to push past that sometimes. I don't think either of them did anything wrong. Some people in the comments would feel attacked if they had a complete stranger come up to them and ask them about their day and feelings when maybe they had a bad day, and others would feel attacked if they're were just trying to be nice and talk to someone (while being terrified about it) and the person rejects them so bluntly like that. So, I was just sharing how it made me feel. You get what I mean? :)
+Janessa Schwarm Im glad you can see both sides clearly, props to you.
Omg same I was like ouch
Wow. The guy at the bus stop seriously upset me. How could someone be that rude, especially when the person talking to you is being positive and trying to engage conversation with you which people don't usually even do anymore. Honestly if someone came up to me and asked me questions like that, it'd make my day.
BUTTTTT ANYWAY HE LOOKED SO GOOD IN THOSE PHOTOS AHH HE MAKES ME HAPPY IDK Y OKAY BYE
+Jaidyn McCallop (itzjaidyn) lol you're funny....xD
You never know what that guy was going through. find sometimes I might say stuff like that to get people to leave me alone when I'm feeling anxious. Especially if it's a stranger.
I'd give them a punch in the face.
+Marissa Lunnen no reason to be a douchebag
Whenever something happens to me like what happened with him at the bus stop, I think about it FOREVER! If someone even says one rude thing to me I mull it over and think things like "Did I say something wrong?" "Did I look gross?" "Did I come off as rude and pushy?" and I'm always just sort of self conscious about what everyone thinks about me, even if it doesn't seem like it.
I can relate so much
His face structure reminds me of a greek statue. Beautiful !
your username tho :(
thats life bro
+私は死ぬしたいです the grammar of your username is wrong
agree with your name tho
ops Time Traveling Spokesperson
if that man at the bus stop would've said that to me, I would've snapped so quick
Honestly.
He was trying to be polite. If someone acted like that towards me, I know it would ruin my day.
ikr, I would've been like bish I was asking you if your day was good and in return you made mine horrible.
I would've said, "That good eh?"
Why? People don't owe it to someone to talk back to them. He said hi back and the man didn't want to further the conversation.
Has nobody thought....he may be introverted.
or maybe have social anxiety
markd315 why you mad though
Being introverted and not being confident are not the same. I am very comfortable talking to strangers, but I find that I get energy from time spent alone. introvert is not synonymous with socially awkward, anti-social, or unconfident.
THANK YOUUU
+hang1iderswing THANK YOU
He's like the Dan Howell of America
When he was given the challenge to talk to strangers I immediately wondered what would Dan do in this situation?
hey a fellow Slytherin!
I agree.
True XD (also hello fellow Potterheads)
they need to meet eachother
Jared is my emotional twin. Blending into the background is what I do best. And it takes only one minor negative comment (like the guy from the bus stop) to shut me down completely.
Same 100%
same here
I already got tears in my eyes when i saw that
Same
Me too
He reminds me of Dan. Just all Dan.
OMG!! I was looking for this comment
Yas OMG
yes, yes he does
he reminded me of phil!
omg
I have anxiety and this whole thing made me super stressed lol especiallythe bus stop guy i would have shut down too
SaaaaameI would be like
"That's it. i'm not doing this"
the mindset would be that the rude guy is too scared of someone talking to him (thats why the rude 'mind your own business') and I wouldn't take it personally. As long as you do good to the world you shouldn't mind about how bad people react to you!. Again, dont take it personal!!! :)
i would say: I AM minding my own business,was just trying to make friends.bitch😂😂😂
SAME, the whole time I'm sitting in front of my laptop watching with my hands over my face
So relatable. I probably wouldn't have been able to get that out of my mind for days.
Me : *Try walking up to someone new*
Random Person : "Hey."
Me : ``Hello.``
Me : *Tries acting normal but then trips and falls on face*
Person : *Gives the glare of shame*
This is me! 😂
Yay! I ain't da only one! :D
I'd be walking somewhere and see that someone's playing pokemon go, I'd try to say something only to say it quietly and they don't hear, and then I'd just run in the opposite direction, even if I wanted to be in that particular spot.
the nostril flare of total rejection
Where my insecure squad at?
🙌
ayyy
Google Minus ayyyyyyy
ayyy
George Ryder ayyyyyyy
Ned is the most generic white adult male I have ever seen.
AND ITS AMAZING
Mitt Romney.
Except he's incredibly sweet.
does he have wife? he NEVER mentions her.
Not hating on Ned by the way he is my favourite try guy apart from Keith.
Okay but how was talking to 3 random strangers considered easy??? Like I get anxious talking to my friends lol
HONESTLY
Right?!!
I'm out going but I get nervous talking to new people
because you never have to see strangers again
but like you never know how they are gonna react
Is it bad that I had to pause and skip the talking to strangers part because it gave me anxiety? Lmao
same it's okay
Oh my gosh, same. But I sucked it up and watched through the whole thing.
+starstrukk723 same even though the bus stop guy made me feel so bad that's my worst nightmare
Omg me too😩
same
I actually teared up a bit when that man told him to mind his own business. That would actually ruin me. I would think about that for weeks. Like I'm actually hurt for him.
SAME it made me so sad :( maybe the guy had a bad day or something but there's no need to spread that negativity to others bc Jared was clearly affected by it :/
Why is no one taking into consideration that the way he tried to interrogate the man at the bus stop was on a highly personal level, no one knows what that guy went through, and the "not giving a f•ck" guy obviously pushed the line when he asked him if anything "positive happened today", he doesn't know what the guy went through that day, maybe his mom died, his sister was kidnapped, maybe he is depressed and even contemplating suicide, imagine you were that person, someone came up to you, and asked you to look at the positive aspects of your day, even though something, so strong just impacted you. This guy is a complete stranger to him. Do you know what I would tell him? I'd tell him to mind his own business.
+Sage Rogers That's a possibility, but the guy may of just been rude lol
you can go "what if" for as long as you'd like, but it doesn't change the fact that this guy forced himself out of his social comfort zone and got totally shut down, and it sucks and people are sympathizing with that
I'm the same way. I may not verbalized it, but I tend to wallow in negative things like that when they happen to me. I'll sometimes end up thinking and be underlyingly upset about it for a couple days, it sucks.
why does he remind me of kendall from big time rush omg
Oh my gosh yeah
oh my god
A little bit.
Omg yeah!! oh childhood
Sameee
cant believe he somehow got mickey mouse to be his style and confidence coach
omg u killed me xD
i don't get it
+Mikaila Kelsy it's his hair
+Mikaila Kelsy his hair looks like Mickey Mouse. Can't believe I have to explain this -.-
mickey mouse coach inspired him to wear a mickey mouse shirt
WE FOUND DIL HOWLTER GUYS
HAAHAHAHAH OMG UR COMMENT MADE MY DAY
WOWWOW
Y E S
LMFAO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS
OMG OMG
I feel you bro. I really do. and when that guy at the bus stop acted that way I actually got a big rock of anxiety in my chest and it didn't even happen to me! like secondhand anxiety 😅
the same thing happened to me
same thing happened to me too...ugh. its happened to me before too..It made me um...yeah..really scared and upset..and more stuff. STRANGERS MAKE ME SCARED IM SO AWKWARD LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.
+· ghøst · I love your profile picture
same...
Same thing, it's the worst feeling.
I SWEAR ITS ANOTHER DAN
and damn are they both hot
+ashley Cannon jaredisnotonfire
+ashley Cannon and DAN(g) are they both hot* ugh I hate myself
Haha I was thinking the exact same thing!
what i really like about these comments is that when someone say 'Dan' everybody know which 'Dan' they're talking about 😂
Everyone is just way too nice. The way we build confidence here in the UK is by consistently insulting each other using 'sarcasm' or witty, hard hitting remarks at targeted at our friends deepest insecurities until one member of the group emerges as leader.
That's what my friends do except this one new friend we ha e is quite sensitive so we don't do it around her
If a stranger is mean to me I usually am mean back to them in a sarcastic way. I take nothing seriously lol.
that's how we are here. even my mum makes fun of some of my mates😂✌
Gumperstein true except if they insult people i care about then i go nut
Well we made it to the moon
OMG!!! That literally happened to me! I was talking with a guy i met online, and we were talking with each other for like a month or more. He told me he wanted to meet in person because he said he wanted to keep me for himself and no one else, although we didn't know how each other looked like. He seemed so excited and called me sweetie and stuff, and I was feeling like finally gave a crap about me. The day we met he seemed underwhelmed and we just talked and saw a movie. When we were saying goodbye, he approached me and I said I had a good time, he said the same, but then he told me "hey you're cute and all, and I would love to date you, even become you're boyfriend, but I thought when we were texting... that you would be... I don't know... Skinnier". He the tried to justify it , but it just made me feel worse. I cried all night.
Are you serious?
You're right! Tomorrow morning I'll tell him what I feel and to deal with it! Bye Felicia.
+Billy M if you lost weight you'd be more attractive to people and more confident in yourself. Just the honest truth. being fat isn't really bad if you're living a normal lifestyle of course! just my 3 cents.
I know. I've been looked with disgust most of my life, but the dude told me it didn't matter how I looked. That's why It hurt so much when he rejected me.
+Billy M oh well I don't know what he was thinking.
This dude is me in a lot of ways. I have girls call me a loser to my face in school and it's destroyed my confidence.
daammn.. sorry about that
because you most likely are
Hope it gets better for you :)
Good. You are a loser.
same here bro. i ask my crush one time to hang out or watch some movies, she reply that am not attractive enough.. :(
I mean the bus stop. You were asking for it. Almost everyone who rides the bus is sad and depressed
haha exactly! at least the bus stop guy tried initially to be friendly , until dude started asking personal questions
+marie R but, at the same time, what so personal about asking if anything good happened in your day? It's not like its interrogation, bus man needs to calm down just a little bit.😂
Joey Wagner true but it becomes personal if ur days been crap and u don't want to talk about it...but true bus guy was harsh lol
The guy is either homeless or he thought he was trying to hit on him and reacted like that.
Well can you blame these people? Being crammed into a metal container with 50 other sweaty, smelly, judgmental people would make anyone depressed.
this guy is actually lowkey hot
I know but he probably wont date you since he has a boyfriend XD
*highkey
low-key hot? Never heard that one before...Nor do I see how that's even possible. "Low-key" means hidden or subtle. He's subtly hot?
akpokemon well....
Azelf Lover tru
I think he freaking hot and ugh his eyes are beautiful 😍😍😍
looloololool daniel XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD you're a dude loloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllll
Seriously? Is being male a problem?
+Phil's left nipple your username is art
His soul is fanomial
The guy at the bus stop just awed me. Like wtf? You asked how his day was then rudely refused talking about himself. He could have said he didn't wanna talk in so many other ways, but I'm trying not to overreact too much
Bust stop guy exhausted me and i'm sitting behind a screen.
Not everyone is the same jeez
I know... People are defending him saying that he is not obliged to be nice to him but your words affect people *shock* and I find it rather selfish to simply ruin someone else's day because yours sucked. What if a suicidal man asked the same question? People would definitely act differently then. And honestly, the rude one continued the conversation by asking "And you?" Like wtf. (Haha it's okay I obviously overreacted way more than you did ^^)
when the dude at the bus stop said that...my heart just dropped and I got a flood of SO much anxiety. that is one of my biggest fears, it felt like he was talking to me.
Yessss! I knew Id just be shattered if someone said that to me. It would take like a week just to stop wondering what I did wrong even though LOGICALLY I know that its that bus stop guys problem and not mine. Telling myself that doesnt make it easier though.
He is as awkward talking to new people as Dan Howell is XD ITS BEAUTIFUL
Nah, Dan is too beautiful for anyone to dislike him for being awkward--- I mean what, no I didn't say anything--
+Random name YAASSS XD LOL
DAN
Yesss
OMG YES HE REMINDED ME SO MUCH OF DAN
Wow this video made me think about myself. I am just like him and is really difficult for me sometimes to talk to strangers or just a simple order at a restaurant. A few days ago I talked to a seller in a market because I had a question concerning my phone. So I overcame myself and talked to him. After that , it was an awesome feeling. Learning by doing! :)
Check out these workbooks, they helped me, they might help you too www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=40
it's good to know that there are people feeling the same way as me
Check out Centre for Clinical Interventions cci.health australia. Theyve got some great workbooks, really helped me
+Lolly LuLa жхххх9
:) I can still be awkward but I don't beat myself up as much now
I feel so happy that someone has the same problems with socialising people
did you think you were the only one?
tbh, kinda :/
Jared = Me. I am constantly worried about what people think of me. I can't be around other people without being afraid to give my opinion, being afraid to be authentic. It was one of the biggest reasons I HATED going to school. Being around that many people who could potentially not like me and reject me was a horrible, terrible feeling. I'm not as bad as I once was, but I can still go from comfortable to anxiety ridden with the drop of a hat. It's a struggle.
me 2 every time someone tries to have a conversation with me that i dont know or know very well i get sweaty and my face turns red and i never get to say or do what i want to do because i am worried of other peoples opinions about me
REF1EX & BMC11, I understand that perfectly. In my head, I am such a vibrant person... I have so many opinions, beliefs, desires, interests... but as soon as I'm around other people, I constantly hold all that in. For many years, I felt like I wasn't my own person. I always conformed to whatever/whomever was around me. I never really allowed myself to stick up for what I thought, what I felt, what I believed... and I found myself an adult with absolutely no idea who she was. I hid so much of myself from the world... and I still do, I must admit. I still hide, I still get so anxious that I simply can't be true to who I am when I'm with other people, especially if they don't think/believe like I do. I try to tell myself, who cares what they think... who cares that they don't agree with you... why does it matter? But the fear is always present.
My journey to finding a more healthy self-esteem (a journey I'm still on) has been quite complicated. But I would have to say the biggest impact on me has been on social media. Once I found my own little niches online (books, music, tv, ect) I found myself more and more willing to open up. I started talking to people I didn't know, I started making friendships with people all over the world, and slowly I began to truly find myself and find strength in who I am. That led to me coming out about my sexuality (I'm pansexual) and although not everyone in my family is okay with that and I have strained relationships that add on to my anxiety around them, I learned to be accepting of who I am, to embrace who I am. This led me to START confronting abuses I went through as a child that have had a profound affect on me. I still have a lot of work to do in that area, but I'm better.
From there, I grew to be more body positive, another big insecurity of mine. And in the last several years, I found myself more willing to give my opinion about politics... online. Still not comfortable talking about politics face to face, especially with my very conservative family. I feel every muscle in my body tense as my anxiety rises... it's not fun and I do my best to avoid it.
So I still really need to work on being as my authentic self in person as I am online. I'm better in some ways and in others, I feel like I haven't made any progress at all. :/ BUT it's a start and finding these little pockets where I can be true to myself is quite the relief.
I would recommend doing what I did and finding little niches online... find groups or clubs on facebook or other social media sites where you can share the things you ENJOY with like minded people. Being around people who think and feel like you, even if it's only virtually, can help you to open up. If you like books or music or tv shows or movies... find a group(s) about your favorites (like your favorite author, your favorite musician, or your favorite tv show) and go into it with the goal of striking up a conversation. It doesn't have to happen that day or even that week, but keep that goal in mind. In the meantime, read the other discussions going on... see what other group members are talking about, you'll get to know them better and you might even find yourself sucked into a conversation without even thinking about it... I know I did. Also, find and follow pages/people you find inspirational. If they share something that strikes a cord with you, print it out and hang it in your room! That's what I did. I even will occasionally write up little inspirational note to myself that I either find online or think of myself on a sticky-note and stick them in places I can see them every day.
Here are a couple I have up right now:
"Your insecurities are JERKS! Kick 'em to the curb!"
"Be KIND to YOURSELF! Don't be your own BULLY. ACCEPT YOU!"
"Your looks don't define you or decide your self-worth."
When you find yourself on sure footing in the virtual world, try to take the same steps in the real world. You might even meet friends in your facebook (other social media) groups who live close to you... perhaps you can hang out with them in person and do things you all enjoy. If not, find things in your community that interest you. Strike up conversations with classmates or co-workers. See if you have any common interests.
These are just my suggestions. While I do have an associates degree in psychology, I am def not a master of the human psychology and other than research into my own issues, I've never really learned much about social anxiety. What works for me might not work for others. You just have to do what feels right for you. Go forward with goals, push the boundaries of your comfort zone, but do not push yourself to do things that you have a very strong aversion to doing. I've done that and I just made myself worse at times. Go as slow as you need and be KIND to yourself. Don't beat yourself up if you don't make as much progress as you want or because you can't do something that you planned to do. If you can't do something in that moment, like you can't open yourself up and start a conversation on your own, then wait for another time. It's okay.
There are no time parameters you have to meet. Realize that this is YOUR life and you make the rules.
Also, do some of the things Jared did in this video. If you find yourself bored or stuck in a rut with your routine, your clothes, your hair, your style, whatever... change it up! Find something you really want and go for it! Want to dye your hair purple but you're afraid what others will say? Forget them! It's your body and you need no one's permission. Let who you are on the outside reflect who you are on the inside. Your body is your temple... decorate it how you want! :)
same
I have same problem :(
I literally could not do a single one of these challenges. Maybe the photo shoot, but nothing else. I just can't. I shut down, and I hate it because no one else I'm close to understands. Jeez, this made me realize it more than ever. Not sure how to feel. :/
I don't know if you are, but don't think about this too much. Just like, try to be chill and, most importantly, be patient, and one day you'll just feel brave enough to do all those things. :)
Same though
I was diagnosed with anxiety and Asperger's a few years ago, so I'm aware of it, lol. But I didn't have any knowledge on the "invisible audience" thing, that's interesting. Thanks for telling me, it makes me feel a little better about myself. :)
Emma Knickerbocker No problem! Just keep in mind that you are your biggest critic; and there's no use in being upset over things you can't change about yourself. Self-love is one of the most important things in life. Just think about it; you're the one being you need to spend every moment of every day with. So why not love that person?
I could, but I'm not confident
When you feel your crush for him starting to be born. Then he says he's gay. Lucky homosexual guys always gets the cute ones.
ikr. he is a total cutie!
I'm trying to tell if this comment is sarcastic or not
More for me I suppose 😏
+Max Moroney lmao
yeh -_-
Is it just me or is this guy really attractive?
Nah, I find Jared really attractive too. XD
Its100% just you.
He probably had to edit this after too. 😂
And?
+AlexViergova that if he did it would probably be awkward
That would be the worst I would end up being like "oops the whole video got corrupted oh no"
.
+Trevis Sweet Lol same
being black, the ultimate boost in confidence! I never thought of trying this before!
😂
I am black and low key exactly like this guy
+NayFresh87 😂😂😭
I'm black and I can't approach people I don't know at all.
the dude at the bus stop would have been me because I'm so paranoid that whenever a stranger talks to me I act rude & try to intimidate them away omg but this made me feel bad & reflect. Smh
me too. I either try to scare people away or be really friendly. I'm feeling bad too. ;-;
I'm the same way sometimes
Caused me to reflect also
I feel like he was just being a rudeass though.
It's kind of noticeable when people are rude as a defensive as opposed to how they really are yano?
Got the feeling he might have thought he was being hit on. Some people have a real problem with it.
Get into a fight. You'll learn a lot about yourself.
Okay Tyler.
6:53 Safiya in the background eating the pizza lmao
Ikr I was looking to see if anyone already noticed this😆
me
And in 7:36 lol
I was looking to see if anyone had noticed that
Yes when I saw it I was like meee
This video is more like forcing and introvert to be an extrovert.
I see what you mean but I feel like it's more about trying to help people be more confident then pushing them to be something they aren't.
As an introvert myself I disagree. This guy felt limited by his introversion and was open to improvement. It's not like they forced him to speak publicly or something.
I felt pretty good seeing how he turned out. He's still the same person but with new experiences of empowerment.
No? Its helping someone with low self esteem redeem confidence so he can be happier with his life and not feel like hes a bother to anyone he talks to
Yes, felt same and it hurts for a real 'introvert' tho
+Ally Wolf Yeah, maybe like bringing out their personalities but not actually CHANGING them.
As an extrovert I never really realized how hard it was for people to be naturally confident. It makes me warm and happy to know that Jared is trying to be confident and happy with himself.
As an Introvert, I don't relate to his issues at all. I have no problem talking to strangers, throw parties, and would ADORE a free photo shoot. He has a social anxiety problem that has nothing to do with being an introvert/extrovert... I have a friend who is a socially awkward extrovert and they have a really hard time interacting with people even though they want to be around people really bad - it's really heartbreaking to see that happen :(
+Artbug I feel like this all the time. I want to be our going and socialize with my coworkers and meet new people but I'm so socially awkward I don't know how to do it and not come off weird . It don't help my SO points out my awkwardness.
im an introvert and i would have cried about what happened at the bus stop, plus im a bit sensitive so dang i don't know how he did it
+Artbug Hmm it doesn't really sound like your introverted, you seem to like social situations and are rarely shy. Also most people feel drained after spending time with people, your body can't run forever, I think you may be an extrovert from the sounds of it, but I don't know you personally I'm just basing it off how you said you'd react to his situations.
also social anxiety/awkwardness is often tied to being an introvert, not every time but it's fairly common
I usually strike up random conversations in places far away from home that I know most anyone I see there won't remember me the next time I visit.
But I'm still usually all shy and awkward and crap. Even though to my friends I'm obnoxious and crazy.
And I have weird facial expressions :P
And I never know where to look when people talk to me.
LIKE, directly in the eyes? BUT THEN IT GETS AWKWARD!!! So I try to look off to the side, but then I FEEL AWKWARD AGAIN!
SOMEONE HELP.
I also don't stay on one topic too long when talking to people, so I usually get into something too serious, or something I have to bluff knowing about.
I DON'T LIKE CONVERSING OCCASIONALLY UGGHHHHHH
I am the same way but like when I do look someone in the eyes while they are talking to me I start freaking out inside like "Do they feel awkward? Is this weird? Should I look away? Is it rude to look away?" etc.....
BlueMoon OH MY GOSH, IKR!!!
Dude, I do that ALL THE TIME.
OML, same though xDDDD
Betina Rodriguez Wooh! I'M NOT ALONE! X3
I'm so proud of you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You are such an inspiration.
I was getting anxiety just watching this. I hate parties, hate talking to new people, hate taking pictures of myself. Just hate it all.
I legitimately cried throughout this whole video. Jared you are such an incredible person and love to have a friend that is as sweet, compassionate and down to earth as you are.
Damn, i'm so socially inept that after the bus stop dude I had mini anxiety for the rest of the video. Lol, typing this comment helped me ease out of it a bit.
Omg, same :/
Same, my heart like fell to my stomach
ME TOO
If that happened to me i'd hold back tears a little bit i can never handle when people i don't even know are rude to me.
okay im glad im not the only one that felt that
Jared, if you are reading this I think you are fabulous the way you are! You are so beautiful inside and out. Always remember that.
Kimchi?
+Jared Nunn I have social anxiety myself and I know how hard it can be to have low self confidence, but I believe in you . This video was really inspiring
i want to be his friend
LIGHT
You just want to know his real name..-_-
xD
I wanna be his, PERIOD
light imagay 😂 aka yagami backwords
That dude on the bus stop was so rude. Like idk if the rudeness is an American thing, but I am from Europe and I talk to random people all the time and they're always hella nice to me. (Also this guy is so cute, even though I'm a lesbian and would therefore never date him, I still think he's so cute.)
Being rude is NOT an American thing. Anyone can be rude no matter where they're from. It depends on the person and how crappy their day was.
+Jada Franklin right, Jada. Most people think Canada is one of the nicer places where everybody is nice, but that really isn't true. Everybody here always stares at me when I walk down the street or just gives me dirty looks.
Usually people here in America will talk to you if you talk to them. We usually don't talk to strangers though. Although many people are rude here because I see things like road rage, people without manners at food places, and teens my age disrespecting teachers at school. One time I had a women who came up to me preaching why I shouldn't have short hair because I'm a girl.
He was rude. I think he felt threatened/ uncomfortable by Jared asking him questions. So by being rude that is one way to remove himself from the discomfort.
Why would you even bring America into that as if we were the only country that happen to have rude people (which are in fact everywhere). Everyone has different experiences and can't always have it as good as you.
He's so sweet. He's really attractive as well. He deserves all the confidence.
when the dude at the bus stop said that...my heart just dropped and I got a flood of SO much anxiety. that is one of my biggest fears, it felt like he was talking to me.
I really liked this video. Looking at Jared, I never would have thought that he had an issue with his self esteem and self confidence. He looks like someone who is great around other people.
It would be my worst nightmare to host a big party!! I know it'd be super awkward and boring 😩
How would it be boring do you have no friends lol
+Addison Cagan me
Music and alcohol make people social. Just have a table with beer pong set up and strike up conversation. Also, start it at night. Not in broad daylight.
I have massive self-esteem problems and anxiety issues, and honestly, doing the things he did in this video would have just stripped away my confidence even more.
that guy is so cute and cool and lovely and I'm glad he starts to realize all of this!! Such a cool project, do more of them:)
Hi! You have such a humble & cool personality! :)
I have a tip. Do read this book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
The highest and last power of humanity, which differentiates man from animal - is that between stimulus and response: We have the power to choose our action. We can choose how we feel about what others say to us. We can choose to feel the emotions we are feeling. We can direct the course of our life.
Victor Frankl was a Nazi death camp captive, and he faced unspeakable tortures inside those walls. But he explored this thought, that he could look at all what was happening to him as an onlooker, he could decide what to feel about the flogging he was feeling, the pain his body was enduring. He could choose his response. This unique power inside us is what it means to be human.
So you can just say to that man: 'I am trying to be nice and positive. But I cannot control how you feel about this. So good day!'
I hope you respond to this and tell me what you think.
I think you have a lot of confidence and potential buried inside you.
Any of Liel Lowndes books is good too.
Animals can choose their actions. Haven't you seen the video where the lady tells the cat "Don't knock that off the table. NO. Leave the glass alone. NO.", and the cat looks straight at her and slowly, deliberately pushes the glass off the table?
LM1313 That's pure rebellion, mindless action. It's what that cat has always done because it's not used to being ordered, not that it would understand human words all that well too. Yes, it will take time to train it - but read or watch Life of Pi. That boy in reality, trained an adult Bengal tiger not to kill it all the while trapped in a lifeboat - and managed to survive on the pacific for 11 months plus!
Some animals have higher intelligence than others, monkeys for instance - but humans undoubtedly have the highest of all.
***** Thanks! You're too kind - I'm just passing on all the amazing stuff I read.
Vandini Sharma In life of Pi, the tiger is a metaphor for himself. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that he killed the chef, and he had a lot of time to imagine things, all alone in the sea, so he made up a fantastic story to keep himself sane. He even said that in the end of the movie and book, that you can choose the story you believe in, since no matter what the ending is the same..."So it is with God"
when he said he found a "style nd confidence coach" im likeee hell yah Eugene goooo. nd then i saw the guy nd im like oh ok..
i guess no Eugene xc
Bro chill💀i juss thought it was going to be him cuz he has a sense of style. Chill tf out😂 nd isnt he bi?
+Samantha Martin yeah, he is bi
He looks pretty badass though
Eugene struggles with confidence himself and is always obsessed with what other people think of him. He is still working on that so they wouldn't use him for something like this yet. but I know what u mean. he is love.
He seems like a super sweet guy. Sooo attractive, he looks like a silent movie star, with those big expressive eyes.
the scenarios were soooo awkward. Even the most confident people don't go talking to strangers for NO reason! It's either to ask for directions,help out, flirt but not to just talk??! And you can't go up to them thinking they're all gonna be happy, friendly and willing to talk. What if the bus stop guy had lost his family member/friend /home or was just in the worst place of his life ever. and you just come up all bubbly hoping to use him for your little video to boost YOUR self esteem .smh lol
I can tell you now that my Grandfather will talk to any and everybody he meets! He's extremely extroverted so much that it makes me uncomfortable that he talks to so many people. He talks to random strangers all the time.
iiNDiie1 aw thats really sweet...I guess I forgot that ppl can be truly genuine and nice :) I guess I was trying to see both sides from the bus guy and the self conscious guy :)
Kenzienquiry :( I do know what its like to feel unconfident and self conscious but I also know what's its like to feel so sad and hurt that u want the ground to swallow you..and don't want to talk to anyone
My mom talks to people to just talk.
My grandma always just randomly talking to people ,and my mom occasionally does too...
To be an employee at Buzzfeed you need to be one or more of these things:
A: Black
B:Gay
C: A feminist
If you are all 3 you win the buzzfeed competition.
bruh not true
To work in high corporate jobs you need to be ALL of these things:
- Straight
- White
- Cis
- Male
Ned is straight and white
+Sami Hatcher but is he a feminist???
Dil? Is this you?
i feel as if that's the biggest compliment you can give someone😂
no this is patrick
+nathan weston ha ha ha funny
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING
lmao yes
GUYS ITS DIL IRL
Phandom!!
+Alex Quinn Stfu fite me irl
who
Love your pic and name
Am I the only one who thinks he's cute?
you aren't the only one xD
no you,re not the only one he is hot too
Beautiful eyes.
Is it also weird becaus ım a guy? I mean I've never felt like this way to another guy before...
Paris Lambat Not weird.
That beautiful girl Jared was talking earlier didn't see how good Jared is . Therefore , she is probably not the right one 😂 How can no one date him ?! I would !
It was a guy not a girl
I mean Jared is gay, so he was talking about a guy in this video, and as far as I know, he has a boyfriend. He mentioned him in the Night Owls turned Morning People or wth that video was called.
+Ella Here I think he mentioned before that he's bisexual :)
+엘렌 is that Kookie?
엘렌 When?
To be honest the "easy" task of talking to strangers would terrify me way more than a photoshoot or throwing a party for people I knew
I felt the awkwardness and anxiety he must have felt throughout the whole video
This guy have no idea how much I liked him, his personality, appearances and all. Just be yourself, be happy and enjoy life. That all. Hahah, I literally when to watch all of the videos featuring him. He's so cuteeee
that's, went*
I thought I was the only one that did that I started liking him when I saw him in the night owls video and he is so intriguing
I wanna be friends with him he seems like a really good person
he is so freaking adorable!!!!!!!
right
Gay
+Jab Brisau Well the guy is gay so
We're all gay
+pineapple no
I just want to hug him, he is so sweet!!
He remindes me of Trevor Moran. Anybody else?
I thought he kinda reminded me of Dan Howell
+Taste My Skittles Bro Yeah, same!
yea I see it
+Taste My Skittles Bro i guess my profile pic gave it away
:D:D:D:D:D
I would have died doing any of these things, and that guy is hot lmao props to him for getting out there and gaining more confidence.
i kinda want to ship him with Shane (the one who helped him with the setup when he got there)
6:35
+Anna Mann its good 2 know im not the only one who ships buzzfeed ppl
omGgG YES shane and jared are so cute they would be adorable together
+Mara Goodyear I know!
:/
Gianni is awesome!
I know right
That guy at the bus stop is the reason I'm terrified of some people
Talking to people on the street sounds worse than hosting a party. Om l. I relate to this guy so much.
He is damn cute, like seriously. He was cute when he was overweight as well. He has a gorgeous face and hair. It's really sad when he cannot see that in himself, he totally needs to get a better mirror. Besides his appearance he is funny and witty.
he's adorable wtf