How To Deal With A Stonewalling Wife | The Proven Ways To Win Her Back
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- Stonewalling In Relationships | How To Deal With A Stonewalling Wife | The Proven Ways To Deal With
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“Stonewalling is actually a learned defense mechanism that might stem from an unpleasant emotional or physical reaction someone has experienced in the past. Or your partner may simply not be able to express how they feel so instead they shut down,”
Here Are Some Way To Responses When My Partner Stonewalls Me
1. Empathy Goes a Long Way.
While no one likes to be on the outside looking in on a situation, attempt to recall that your partner is going through the similar situation as well. Be understanding to their uncertainties and support them with your love.
2. Be Open and Available to Talk.
Tell your partner that you are free to talk when they are inclined. It is important here that you offer a supportive tone rather than a confrontational tone.
3. Connect with One Another.
If you are starting to notice the building of the wall between you and your partner, an option is to try and reconnect in a gradual manner. Take a moment to put the troubling situations on pause and go do something that you both enjoy.
4. Communication, Communication, Communication.
We are all individuals, and we are not going to see eye to eye on every given situation in our relationship. Both individuals in a relationship may have to work on developing more effective methods of communication.
5. Try to Avoid Going Toe to Toe.
Fight the temptation to match your partner’s emotions just to obtain a conversation from them. While this may get everything off your chest, it may just add it to your loved ones and may further strengthen that stonewall.
6. Focus on Your Self-Care.
A relationship with ever-building stress and tension can negatively affect your psychological and physical wellness. Ensure that you are providing yourself an opportunity to exercise the proper self-care that you need, whether it be exercise, nutrition, a massage, or even a nap.
7. Pardon Your Partner.
To mend the situation with your partner, you will need to absolve each other for your past complaints. Recall that pardoning encourages you as much as your partner.
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Thank You
You say the cause of the stonewalling is the man's behavior, but what if the man was unfairly judged by a neurotic, controlling and emasculating wife who cannot accept responsibility for her own actions, and the man got sick of it, and now the wife is stonewalling?
Does the mechanics of cause and effect apply to the woman or just solely to the man?
You're not going to want to hear anything I have to say to you.
If the woman wants to be understood on an emotional level, and she wants to avoid fights and pain, then why do women do nothing but create fights by blaming the men for their feelings? All women have to say is "i want you to understand me" and I will seek to understand. But instead I'm met with unfair judgements and I'm condemned as an evil or bad person for not reading her mind and not wanting to put up with baseless hostile accusations every day of my life.
I think you might be misreading the situation a bit here.
Ex of 9 years used to stonewall me throughout the relationship over silly arguments. The final stonewall she did for about a week, I got sick of it and I matched her behavior. 7 days in I mentioned that it is not friendly and she said that she is "Not responsible for how I feel" . That led to a heated argument and she kicked me out from our apartment. She never let me back in. She packed up all my stuff in garbage bags, said that I am abusive and that I have anger problema. Very cruel of her!
Have you considered the possibility that you may have issues with anger or abusive behavior, and that she might be protecting herself? Or has this been dismissed, with the focus solely on her being perceived as cruel?
There is no excuse for stonewalling. Stonewalling is abusive, manipulative, and childish. If a woman is stonewalling you, it's because she's holding onto resentment. She thinks she is entitled to resent you, but you can't resent her. Double standards. And even if you apologize and try to communicate with her to resolve things, she will still stonewall you. So you're constantly being crucified, and you're on a neverending hampster wheel of trying to appease her emotions (even if they're not justified at all) to get her to stop withdrawing. It's all a game plated by a woman who is emotionally immature and can't handle conflict.
Interesting view point.
Perfectly said
So let me get this straight according to you it’s the man’s fault that the woman’s deciding to act like a child and not regulate her emotions. That’s just great advice.
@@BetterMarriageByCodyButler : In your video your example is a one-sided scenario. Your example details 3 problems:
- Husband is dismissive of her emotions.
- Husband criticizes her in an insensitive way.
These 2 things have continued to happen for sometime and eventually makes the wife emotionally withdrawn.
You example clears shows how the husband is being unfair in his interaction with his wife.
Ok, everything fine so far.
What about the case where the husband is not unfair and insensitive in his interaction with his wife, but his wife stonewalls when the husband make a respectful and gentle request to address the conflict? Can you share your thoughts on this type of scenario, perhaps with a video?
Thanks for your feedback
If communication with you is painful, pointless or both, it doesn’t matter how gently you ask, at some point she’s going to stop wasting her time.
A woman not wanting to talk is like a man not wanting sex. If your wife is stonewalling you…there are serious issues going on.
Emotional safety and emotional validation goes both ways. If your wife never validates your perspective, you're not going to want to validate hers. It's just how it goes. Men don't just invalidate women for no reason. Men are charged with always having to be sensitive to women's emotions and views, but women are never held accountable to the same standards. Until this changes, marriages will always fail unless the man is willing to be a simp 100% of the time
Couldn’t agree with you less, and I’m sure that’s validated by your lack of relationship success. No doubt you have a series of failed relationships behind you, all the fault of someone else no doubt.
He has failed relationships because he’s dealing with American western women. You don’t know any of the men here, but you’re automatically pointing the finger at the men as if women are not notorious for stonewalling.
Does this include if you caught her with another man? And she lied about it and she’s denying anything happened? Because pastor’s typically council in parks after hiding your wife’s car behind a hotel….
Yes
She does this at random. Some days are good and other days it's our life. I have a five year old son and there's no way financially to leave. Honestly there is no way out of this torture that i can see. I know very well that if we talk about anything at all, good or bad then we will start to weave together a relationship and there is absolutely no way i can see to convince her of this or how to get her to care. She liked me when i was new and she will throw me away now. I'm convinced that if it happened with her that there is no such thing as a working relationship.
Stonewalling is the result of a lack of emotional safety.
Talking to you is painful, pointless, or both.
Fix that and the stonewalling will stop.
It hurts to read your truth. TY
I really needed to hear it.
Your well being and your child’s well being are the most important.
Working it out is best for all.
But showing a child what a real loving relationship looks like is best for the child. It will be hard for you to leave. But another woman will come and together you can show the child love by your actions. The child will be ok if you practice excellent co-parenting skills. She may not, it’s ok. She will just validate to the child that she can’t understand normal thinking. You a your new love will show by example.
May Peace be with You
@BetterMarriageByCodyButler, so basically just cave to your wife's irrational emotions and her gaslighting and manipulation all the time. Got it
@@BetterMarriageByCodyButler truth hurts. That's why she doesn't like talking to me. I'm the only person in her family who doesn't lie constantly because they are all incredibly emotionally fragile. That doesn't mean it's my fault or that I can "fix" it.
@@zacharysherry2910 That's why you think she doesn't like talking to you. The truth I can promise is very different.
if she uses this stonewalling to her advantage? what will i do. what she wants she gets by stonewalling.
Change your interpretation of the situation, it’s incorrect.
@@BetterMarriageByCodyButler this is gaslighting.
I don’t think you know what gaslighting means. How can I gaslight you, I’ve never even spoken to you. All the best with your marriage.
@@BetterMarriageByCodyButler i mean if i "change my interpretation of the situation" again. did this many times and same result. i feel i am being gaslighted by my wife. there was no conversation to have a common ground during every conversation.
You’re not going to like anything I have to about this situation.
She is going to start looking elsewhere, she is going to start an affair.
No, it doesn’t mean that at all. It means communication with you is painful, pointless or both.
No sex for 2 years
I hear you. 😢
Sucks