😭 WHY YOUR COMMENTS TO DISABLED PEOPLE HURT

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 4 фев 2025

Комментарии • 498

  • @Wheelsnoheels
    @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +32

    Sorry Karen, blame the internet for the Karen thing. Whats the most stupid, shocking things someone has said to you? Maybe I should make a part two? Submit yours bellow. :)
    Videos to check out next:
    8 Wheelchair user assumptions
    ruclips.net/video/ZXB5BVLyx5I/видео.html
    Stupid things people said to me about my disability
    ruclips.net/video/pa2-_uaoBrQ/видео.html
    Customs Officer Said this to me!
    ruclips.net/video/kgU0M4faRKE/видео.html
    11 Wheelchair user Pet Peeves
    ruclips.net/video/ABQB2Zko23c/видео.html
    SUBSCRIBE :bit.ly/2zSEo1R

    • @wheelieblind
      @wheelieblind 4 года назад +2

      Oh it has been nice not dealing with all that while on lockdown because of the virus. Oh but I did not get away with it for long... some moron when I went to go check my mail asked a stupid question but, so far it has been one time dealing with that because I really want to keep my distance.

    • @sharneehogan6828
      @sharneehogan6828 4 года назад +1

      Because I have aspurges which is a type of autism I've ended up being called every type dumb from dumb to retard and beyond because they think because I have a type of autism I am not smart enough

    • @knoopje23
      @knoopje23 4 года назад +5

      I didn't have a wheelchair yet, I'm having my first one fitted this week actually... But I've been sick since I was a baby.
      Someone once said that "Jezus took away all sickness so if you let Jezus into your heart, you won't be sick anymore"
      Yeah not sure that's how genetic diseases work, but okay. Worst part was that it was an elderly lady who I think was really trying to be kind 🙈

    • @liononfire5153
      @liononfire5153 3 года назад +5

      I was told by an actual doctor that "I was doing it for attention, nothing was wrong with me", made me have issues excepting that I'm not making up stuff or being a hypochondriac. I has taken me too long to realize I am disabled normal healthy people dont have to adapt to things like not being able to stand to shower

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      @@knoopje23 I encountered someone at the doctor's surgery who believed that if she placed her hands on my braces knee my CPPD and OA and EDS Hypermobility would be cured!!

  • @able2Bdifferent
    @able2Bdifferent 4 года назад +181

    I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user. When people who usually see me in my chair see me walking, they say "so glad you're feeling better!" Or "nice to see you up and about!" It's not like the flu. Walking doesn't mean I'm "feeling better". It means that walking fits the situation I'm in right now, and I will probably be very cranky because walking hurts and is exhausting.

    • @pinkbeam
      @pinkbeam 4 года назад +16

      I can relate.

    • @lilithpluto
      @lilithpluto 4 года назад +19

      I'll go somewhere on crutches instead of my wheels and people will say this! Or if they're used to seeing me on crutches and I turn up in my wheelchair they'll be like "oh no, Have you got worse?!" When in reality I'm probably feeling better because I haven't had to force myself to walk! Choice of wheels or crutches is often determined by the distance I need to cover "on foot" or occasionally if I can get my wheelchair in/out of someone's car easily.

    • @bethdelaney4561
      @bethdelaney4561 4 года назад +7

      I'm trying to get something that'll let me get around without standing and walking because it's extremely painful and I had someone lecture me a few days ago about how I need to walk more and get into shape

    • @SnowySpiritRuby
      @SnowySpiritRuby 3 года назад +5

      That exact thing happened to me a month ago: I was at a conference, and someone who has been cynical of my use of a wheelchair heard that I had done something that week that I didn't use it for (I never have needed it for that particular thing (and it's not something I can use it for, anyway), and I told her that point blank), and - while I was in my chair sitting in front of her - she had the guts to say how glad she was that I was doing so much better. I wasn't - I was far worse than usual.

    • @livewellwitheds6885
      @livewellwitheds6885 3 года назад +5

      I also use a chair part time and this is so so true!

  • @davecarllawrence
    @davecarllawrence 4 года назад +105

    I was told by a stranger a few years ago, after seeing me in my wheelchair, 'I'd hate to be like you'.
    I replied 'that's OK, I'd hate to be like you too.'
    She then angrily shouted 'you don't know anything about me!'
    So I told her, 'yeah and you know nothing about me, see how it's the same'.
    One thing I do know is that's she's incredibly ignorant so I am in fact glad I'm not like her.

    • @shannongreenwell1278
      @shannongreenwell1278 2 года назад +1

      She had that coming to her, ignorant heifer! Good for you at putting her in her place!

    • @JessicaPradoHanson
      @JessicaPradoHanson 8 месяцев назад

      People like that are so unconscious of how obvious they are 😂

  • @ZebraWheelie
    @ZebraWheelie 4 года назад +93

    One night I had to go out to a local petrol station to run an errand. I was in the shop when this woman walked past me and said to her daughter "I didn't know wheelchairs could go out at night".
    I turned round and replied "yeah, us 'wheelchairs' need to run mundane errands too!"

    • @lilithpluto
      @lilithpluto 4 года назад +40

      A more innocent version happened to me - I have loads of bike lights and sparkly tinsel on my wheelchair so cars and people can see me coming as I'm often out late in the day/evening (wearing all black, at night, in a wheelchair isn't a great combo). One evening, I went past a young couple and one of them gasped really loud (I was waiting for the stupid comment) and went "that wheelchair has LIGHTS on it!! Thats SO COOL!" Honestly made my day because she was so excited that my wheelchair lit up and I imagine her boyfriend was probably cringing but I thought it was just really funny and sweet 😂

    • @Wheelsnoheels
      @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +11

      Wow the language there :(

    • @stellarontogianni538
      @stellarontogianni538 4 года назад +32

      @@lilithpluto ahaha a member from the choir I was in in uni was using an electric wheelchair and around Christmas she would literally put Christmas lights on it and all, I didn't know her well though because I was new. So one day we were the last ones and had finished late, it was really dark and kinda icy and she was like "mind walking with me to my flat?" so we start going towards hers, and chatting about stuff, after a couple of mins she goes "oh yeah" and lights the wheelchair up. Then starts moving. Took her like 20 secs to realise I was not following her and was just standing there with my mouth open hahaha so I shouted "OMG YOU TOTALLY NEED TO GET STARS TOO YOU LOOK SO FAB" and then " please please please make them blink". 😂😂Next time we had choir, I asked her if she wanted company going home again, she said she was meaning to ask me and I went " GOOD! Because I have come prepared for ya!!!" and I very triumphantly lit up my xmas sweater that I had purposefully worn to match the wheelchair lights ahaha

    • @lilithpluto
      @lilithpluto 4 года назад +14

      @@stellarontogianni538 that's brilliant 😂 why have a boring wheelchair when you can have a light up, sparkly one instead!!

    • @ZebraWheelie
      @ZebraWheelie 4 года назад +13

      @@Wheelsnoheels I know, right? Although, having worked in the retail industry for 7 years before my disability got worse, i'm pretty thick skinned.

  • @davidbrouwers7309
    @davidbrouwers7309 4 года назад +57

    Sitting with another wheelie friend some guy came up to us: "if you buy my CD you can walk again" when we said no he responded with "see, that attitude is why you can't walk" (that's assuming that I could walk to begin with... 🤦🏻‍♂️ I could but have many friends who were born unable to walk so assuming someone in a wheelchair could walk to begin with is already strike one and it just goes down hill from there).
    I've also been called a quiter, or weak-minded for using a wheelchair instead of trying to walk.
    What am I supposed to do? Lie in bed all day? It's not like I can even crawl or anything....
    Someone that I knew almost my entire life actually had the guts to tell me that I just gave up and just need to keep trying, needless to say I cut all ties with that person after that.

    • @Wheelsnoheels
      @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +10

      Wow that first comment is shocking. What inorence.
      I had a very ablist friend. I didnt know what ablism was back then. I really took all the crap from them. I only just recently cut ties

    • @dedclownsRfunny
      @dedclownsRfunny 3 года назад +8

      Do you know the name of the person who tried to sell the CD??
      I would’ve asked them for a guarantee and specify a time-frame. Get it in contract and then sue their gronk arse off

  • @jordanrintoul-thomas722
    @jordanrintoul-thomas722 7 месяцев назад +1

    It's almost like people completely forget their manners once they realize you're different.

  • @lilithpluto
    @lilithpluto 4 года назад +37

    Some of the faces you pulled in this really made me laugh from relatability! Wasn't expecting any of these to shock me but I genuinely gasped at the "they let you out for the day" 😳 I'm disabled, Karen, I'm not a serial killer!

    • @bonnieharris4538
      @bonnieharris4538 11 месяцев назад +1

      You've never had that? Or maybe not that for me but more like; 'oh ... isn't it good you're out and about'... may as well have said 'wow; one of... you. In a pub!'

    • @lilithpluto
      @lilithpluto 11 месяцев назад

      @@bonnieharris4538 oh I’ve definitely had the “aww it’s nice you’re out and about” comments many times, and the “wow, what wonderful friends you have for bringing you out” (as if I can’t go to the pub or pretty much anywhere alone - I actually prefer to be alone! 😂) It was specifically the “they’ve let you out” comment in this vid that got me, because /of course/ disabled people can’t live anywhere other than residential care homes or be infantilised with their parents /sarcasm 🤦🏼‍♀️

  • @kearstinnekenerson6676
    @kearstinnekenerson6676 4 года назад +44

    It feels like someone say why don’t you just stop being depressed. Yup totally just going to flip that imaginary switch and be fine out of nowhere

    • @Paxaboll
      @Paxaboll 4 года назад

      They make pills for that, right?

    • @dawnchute7449
      @dawnchute7449 4 года назад +1

      I’m so sorry.... ((hugs))

    • @Wheelsnoheels
      @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +5

      People are so ignorant

    • @kearstinnekenerson6676
      @kearstinnekenerson6676 4 года назад +1

      @@Paxaboll yeah working with my doctor to try and find the right ones but some make it worse

    • @Paxaboll
      @Paxaboll 4 года назад

      @@kearstinnekenerson6676 Good luck. Better living thru chemistry, right?

  • @FlyingFoxocube
    @FlyingFoxocube 3 года назад +3

    Oh god, the three that I get all the time that you mentioned:
    - You’re too young!
    - What did you do then?
    - When will you get better?
    Also, people talking to my other half/the friends I’m with rather than me.
    GAAAAAH!

  • @Paxaboll
    @Paxaboll 4 года назад +32

    "Oh, you don't need a wheelchair! It's all in your mind!" Yes, it is. It's MS, but when I'm dreaming of playing hackysack and wake up to go pee but fall on the floor because my legs don't work, it's not just in my my mind, is it? It's in my BRAIN!!

    • @davidbrouwers7309
      @davidbrouwers7309 4 года назад +6

      Cerebral Palsy is "all in the mind" too.
      As a kid I was often told "it's all between your ears", my highly sarcastic response was always "well, the brains are a bit higher than the ears."

    • @rockykoast7065
      @rockykoast7065 4 года назад +1

      I sometimes dream I'm running... running is just a memory now. Progressive neuropathy. Some people don't think before they speak. I guess they can't help how they are any more than you or I.

    • @michelecallahan1660
      @michelecallahan1660 2 года назад +3

      I love your comment. I too have MS and so many tell me this as well and you just gave me the greatest response…yes it is in my head and spine…but yeah thanks. Love this

    • @miriamharris-kaplan6997
      @miriamharris-kaplan6997 10 месяцев назад +1

      I have ms too and I am always trying to come up with good answers

  • @daisysonnevijlle5900
    @daisysonnevijlle5900 4 года назад +20

    I have cerebral palsey. When I was in the supermarket for the first time after giving birth to my first born son. An ex co-worker said/asked " wow is he yours?" It hurt so much! Just because I have something going on with my legs it doesn't mean I can't have kids...🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @DAYBROK3
      @DAYBROK3 10 месяцев назад

      i hope this sooths but normies get the "oooohhh is it yours" as well. some people are just so dense.

  • @khaleesi.on.crutches670
    @khaleesi.on.crutches670 4 года назад +58

    I can't wait for this! There are so many people who love to comment on our disabilities despite having zero knowledge or empathy

    • @peterbumper2769
      @peterbumper2769 2 года назад +1

      I am an amputee that uses a wheelchair, I have even been told by other amputees that I am doing everything wrong

  • @AliceSylph
    @AliceSylph 4 года назад +43

    I'm 24 (but look 18), multiple invisible illnesses and an assistance dog.... So lots and lots of comments.
    A recent thing was getting out of the car in a disabled bay, with my blue badge clearly on display. Getting my pup vested up, someone parked in the other disabled bay next to me. She looked at me and very loudly tutted, shaking her head at me. I just walked into the shop. On the way out, I quickly looked at the car and they didn't even have a badge themselves! Just because you're 30 years older than me, you are not entitled to a disabled parking spot! And then judge me because I am!
    Another one was someone casually claimed my assistance dog is fake, because I'm not blind! (She's a medical alert and response dog.) Then went on to ask where she could get a vest so she could have her dog in public with her.
    Assistance dog stories are so many, and she's only been working for less than a year and on a remote island. People trying to pull her away from me, petting her behind my back when we're in a cafe, trying to sneak her food (only realised because she wouldn't take it and they lended over so far), grown men making kisses noises at her, pointing at me, feeling its their place to 'test' her or I should 'prove' my disability for them.

    • @CrystalMouse1
      @CrystalMouse1 2 года назад +1

      Neurotypical people are so awful sometimes 🤦🏽 the things they say just should be kept to themselves

  • @pjaypender1009
    @pjaypender1009 8 месяцев назад +4

    I just ordered a sticker that says "You don't look disabled." "Well you don't look ignorant, but there you go."

  • @willyburger
    @willyburger 2 года назад +6

    I get the "What happened to you?" question at times. If it's comes off with a snarky tone, I look them straight in the eye and say "Too much masturbation" and roll away. I'm thinking about having a bumper sticker made.

  • @sw4631
    @sw4631 4 года назад +15

    I don’t need my wheelchair all the time, but the amount of people that walk into the front of you, ( when they can clearly see someone pushing you ) and totally ignoring me like I don’t exist is unbelievable. X

    • @SnowySpiritRuby
      @SnowySpiritRuby 4 года назад +5

      I've actually crashed into people's carts - not entirely on purpose, but not wholly on accident, either - in the store because they weren't paying attention to who had the right of way (turns out, it applies to more than just road intersections); I have luggage forks on the front of my chair that I use to hold a shopping basket, so the basket and those bars are what hit carts on the rare occasions that it happens (it has actually happened twice in the last 4 months, so not as rare as I'd hoped). I've also had people almost crash into me with their carts and then glare at me like it was my fault that I didn't yield them the right of way when they very clearly did not have it (I was in the main aisle and they were coming out of side aisles) - one of my favorite things to do at one store is go full speed down the main aisle if the coast is clear (but only if the coast is clear), then if someone tries to step out in front of me from a side aisle, they'll get crashed into; usually I find that people don't want to push their luck against a wheelchair that's screaming along at 5.5mph, and decide to be smart and actually wait their turn. I've lost count of the number of times I've told someone " 'look both ways before crossing' isn't just for driving", and "it's a bad idea to step out in front of a wheelchair - we can't stop short" when people decide to jump in front of me, or have the guts to jump in front of me and then stop - not only is it hard for a manual chair to stop short, but when you add a SmartDrive to the equation, the response time is even longer, because the motor won't stop unless either it gets disengaged or it encounters a massive amount of resistance (at least, that's how the one I have works).

  • @JohnR31415
    @JohnR31415 3 года назад +3

    Worth a positive in these comments… Gentleman simply offered to reach things from an upper shelf in the supermarket if I needed them. No assumption, just a genuine observation and offer. As it happens it appears I’m partly orangutan, so can reach the top shelf anyway 🤪 - but an excellent, genuine offer with no prejudice,

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      People do this for me too, but because I'm only 5' tall and I don't mind as it is well meant.

  • @PatBenatarfan90
    @PatBenatarfan90 4 года назад +24

    I was in a lion king show at in Disney once (bleacher style seating, kind of like a high school gym so they put wheelchair users up front on the floor) and a family came and chose to sit in the next tier up from where I was seated and the mother proceeded to loudly complain about sitting behind me "cause my babies deserve the best seat more" and among many demeaning things she said the one that hurt the most was "Why do they put these people up front, it's unfair, they should be at the back." and just kept complaining and huffing and sighing. I was 12 at the time and held back tears the entire show and anded up bursting into tears as soon as we got out of the auditorium.

    • @theboguesandthensome3975
      @theboguesandthensome3975 3 года назад +3

      We went to that same show a few years ago. People just look at the ones up front like, wow wish we could just be in a chair too or why are they so special. My daughter was 8 and thankfully didn't hear some of the comments.

    • @PatBenatarfan90
      @PatBenatarfan90 3 года назад +5

      @@theboguesandthensome3975 It really is a shame people behave that way. I'm glad your daughter didn't hear all of the rude comments but I'm sorry you had to. Best wishes to you and your daughter. :)

    • @Jaggededge112
      @Jaggededge112 3 года назад +7

      Oh my god that is horrific. I am sorry that you went through that. You were a young kid and didn’t deserve that at all.

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      People like her are way beyond pathetic.

  • @andreaanderson1580
    @andreaanderson1580 4 года назад +33

    Me in store uniform stocking shelves, service dog by my feet
    Customer: "do you work here. Oh no you can't. Never mind"

    • @Wheelsnoheels
      @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +7

      I totally had this when I used to work in a shop :S

  • @celticqaidbear
    @celticqaidbear 3 года назад +3

    I got this one other day, I wish I had one those chairs. My favorite response is I wish I had a working body. Dead silence.

  • @8wheeledracer70
    @8wheeledracer70 4 года назад +20

    Hello Gem. I have just watched this, and I hope you do a PART 2. I wanted to share with you something that was said to me. For context, I am a man and full time manual wheelchair user. A few years ago, I was talking to a female friend the pub I was working in at the time. The conversation was about relationships, and I was single at the time. This woman looked me in the eye and actually said:
    "When you date again, make sure you stick to your own species"
    Yes, "species" is the exact word that was used!

    • @Wheelsnoheels
      @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +10

      holy mackerel. I sitting here open mouthed! I think that is really up there. Ugh Im so sorry that was said to you. :(

    • @davecarllawrence
      @davecarllawrence 4 года назад +6

      I've had similar, I was advised by a friend that if I wanted to date I should look for other disabled people.

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад +1

      Fu...g unbelievable! Gobsmacked!

    • @sandramatras8345
      @sandramatras8345 Год назад

      ​@@davecarllawrence Yeah, my grandfather said the same thing to me once...

  • @mandala314
    @mandala314 Год назад +1

    I've learned to deal with "Why don't you just take an extra step each day?" I now say back "Why don't you think before you speak?"

  • @Screaming_into_the_Void
    @Screaming_into_the_Void 3 года назад +14

    Several months ago at work I acted as our greeter/security for the store and due to my disability my manager gave me a chair to sit in and do my job. A Karen came in, saw me sitting and I greeted her pleasantly and she responded by looking me up and down and loudly exclaiming "there ain't nothing wrong with you." I stared at her in shock before asking what she meant. "There's nothing wrong with your legs!" I finally snapped at her (which I never do at work) "actually there is something VERY WRONG with my legs!"

    • @shannongreenwell1278
      @shannongreenwell1278 2 года назад +5

      People need to learn how to mind their own business and how to use their manners ( if their momma even taught them any)!

    • @gamecrusher2024
      @gamecrusher2024 Год назад +1

      You're good! I would have said way more then that! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @cbair2272
    @cbair2272 4 года назад +7

    even as an able bodied person it hurts my soul that these were said by people who considered them self reasonable humans, so I can only imagen how it feels for a disabled person hearing it said to them.

  • @traceyholt8700
    @traceyholt8700 3 года назад +4

    I've had the line "Can you feel you feel your legs at all?" (Touches a part of my leg expecting me to feel it I mean seriously WTF?!)

  • @callumwarren115
    @callumwarren115 4 года назад +23

    I just remembered another one that happened to me whilst in primary school. My brother and I played cricket after school and we had our first match against a different schools team not the usual local team we played. Me and my brother both have a club foot opposite feet in fact. This affects our ability to run, my brother also has dyslexia as well which had onlu been diagnosed so he is still battling all these years later with coordination issues.
    We arrive at the event and get out the minibus enter the changing rooms and our teacher who runs the cricket club looked at me, my brother and our mate who has cerebral palsy and says "Yous 3, dont bother padding up. Your staying on the bench I don't want us to lose this game and your gonna hold the team back. Dont worry If there's time at the end I'll let yous come on." we were only 7 or 8 at the time, I hadn't even started using my wheelchair yet.
    I never played cricket again.
    I also beat my whole class bar 1 in pe in highschool. We had to do situps and because I have no pelvis plate on the left and because of my back condition I don't have corse strength. My teacher let me use a vault box stacked so my feet could the ground and act as leverage to replace what I didn't have. After our 2 minute timed attempt I had done 262 situps (this was in my youth lol) the highest being 300. All the jocks in the class started complaining about how I cheated
    "he cheated Sir, he's a bloody cripple hows he able to do more than me, his score shouldn't count"
    The teachers response "well done Callum that was very impressive, lads how is it you think he cheated? He doesn't have a core!! all I did was make it so he could compete on equal terms, sore losers much"
    Best teacher ever, even gave me official fifa referee cards and I became the class referee for football. A small part of me would love to woop ass at wheelchair basketball against these guys as they'd be hopeless.
    A very eye opening moment for me.

    • @stephcharlie
      @stephcharlie 4 года назад +4

      I'm sorry about your teacher ruining cricket for you in primary school, but I'm so glad you had a great teacher in highschool. It sounds like the world needs more educators who are able to understand and make adjustments for people with disabilities to compete with their able-bodied peers.

    • @rockykoast7065
      @rockykoast7065 4 года назад +2

      Top marks to your teacher!

  • @edsayshey3314
    @edsayshey3314 2 года назад +3

    I especially never understand parents who just can’t seem to tell their children about disabilities. It’s a really simple thing to answer that some peoples bodies just work differently and sometimes they may need to use equipment to help with that

  • @mylife-23
    @mylife-23 2 года назад +4

    Something that was said to me by every teacher I had in elementary school, (I have ADHD among other things, every ADHD student me included was treated like this)
    " You don't actually have that "
    " your using it as an excuse "
    " That's fake "
    " That isn't real "
    " You should go on medication "
    " you have to do things how we teach it "

  • @didi696
    @didi696 Год назад +1

    I was to yelled at by someone while shaking her finger in my face " it should stay at home where it belongs"!
    Her daughter was mortified and I was angry, confused and completely speechless.

    • @user-sx9hq7qwert
      @user-sx9hq7qwert 5 часов назад

      "It"? Referring to the person, it is insulting. Referring to the wheelchair? It doesn't make any choices, has no agency, n can't stay or go or do anything. Responding with the most obtuse, pedantic, n literal interpretation of what they r saying is amusing.

  • @GimpAdventures
    @GimpAdventures 4 года назад +6

    I had someone come up to me as I was about to unlock my car and say "NO NO NO! Say away from that person's car! Where is your care giver!"

    • @punky19761
      @punky19761 4 года назад +2

      Omg what is wrong with people?

    • @bonnieharris4538
      @bonnieharris4538 11 месяцев назад

      No. Way!! 😂

    • @clarettaskelly709
      @clarettaskelly709 9 месяцев назад

      I find myself terrified when I am attempting to get into or out of my automobile, and people come running over to assist me, they ask me if I need help and I say no, they re-ask the same question and I repeat the same answer, another person comes near and askes the same question, I repeat the same answer, then they force their assistance on me, often leaving me black and blue and bleeding by the time they are finished. They walk off feeling proud of themselves and I am crying.

  • @strawberrywheels
    @strawberrywheels 3 года назад +2

    "i wish i was in one of those" throws me off so bad when able bodied people say it bc a lot of people who are trying to get a chair to improve their quality of life already deal with internalized ableism telling them that they dont need it and are just treating it like a toy

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      I'm currently having that debate with myself and trying to sort out hips and knees pain and sometimes feet that go useless.

  • @sammhammiam
    @sammhammiam 4 года назад +6

    I have fibromyalgia and always hear, "You don't look sick."

  • @sarahjaneroberts1736
    @sarahjaneroberts1736 4 года назад +12

    I have just started using a wheelchair out of the house, I have multiple disabilities, and I get “why are you in that chair, you can walk”
    Whilst having my chemo, my hair fell out and I got “so what’s with shaving your hair off” xx

    • @punky19761
      @punky19761 4 года назад +3

      People are so nosy, like we’re just supposed to tell them all of our personal stuff.

  • @salan3
    @salan3 4 года назад +7

    'Wish I was on one of those' (Me on my scooter). so many times!!

  • @linskeptikat9069
    @linskeptikat9069 4 года назад +18

    "Let me pray for you" While reaching to lay hands on me.

    • @Paxaboll
      @Paxaboll 4 года назад +1

      Yup, so talk to a cat for them. You can expect about the same results.

    • @punky19761
      @punky19761 4 года назад +5

      Yuck! I hope they at least wash their hands, and not during a pandemic. Everyone needs to keep their cootie hands to themselves. 😱

    • @Paxaboll
      @Paxaboll 4 года назад +8

      Someone once laid hands to heal me once, so I got up out of my chair, then did a faceplant. I looked up at them and said "I guess you had enough faith for both of us for a second there!

    • @melissaz6778
      @melissaz6778 4 года назад +1

      I always get this one. I've even been given rosary beads...

    • @linskeptikat9069
      @linskeptikat9069 4 года назад +2

      @@Paxaboll lol

  • @maceylee7897
    @maceylee7897 3 года назад +2

    I don't have my wheelchair YET but my own mom asked "if you can walk, why do you need a wheelchair?" as if 5 minutes ago my hip didn't dislocate mid-step in the middle of a store causing me to face plant into the floor.

  • @emiliaford7323
    @emiliaford7323 4 года назад +6

    A friend broke his back and a ex very stupid friend went up to him and said “if you broke your back why don’t you just walk after it gets better.”

  • @isabelleblanchet3694
    @isabelleblanchet3694 4 года назад +10

    Molly Burke (another youtuber) has a video of her doing a lie detector test because people kept saying that she is faking being blind, because she does not "look blind" and is into fashion event though she can't see.

    • @doveandcorr
      @doveandcorr 4 года назад +2

      I love Molly she is great

  • @ianscash6759
    @ianscash6759 2 года назад +1

    OMG I was married to a lady who was a wheelchair user and this video brought back so many memories, I recall when our son was young that a woman come up and said " never mind, your mum will soon be able to walk" he exploded and told the woman that his mother would be not be able to walk. Also had a DHSS officer at about the same time if Susan still had multiple sclerosis or had it gone away. Superb channel

  • @johnmckay999
    @johnmckay999 4 года назад +6

    Exercising tolerance is a must when out on the wheels I've found. For what ever reason people seem to be compelled to say something and anything which I take with a grain of salt.

  • @jenblack98
    @jenblack98 4 года назад +14

    When I was a kid I was in brownies and the brownie leader didn't let me go to brownie camp. I was outright banned from even applying to go and when they finally let me go after me going to that brownies for years they only let me go for one day. Looking back at my childhood i can see so much ableism it's insane

    • @hazelannhtd4lifer852
      @hazelannhtd4lifer852 4 года назад +1

      Thats really bad and could of been reported to District guider or headquarters i was lucky my brown owl was lovely would support and help any brownies with disabilities myself included if the girl could not stay over night then they came for the day I went on to be a guider with my brown owl

    • @jenblack98
      @jenblack98 4 года назад

      @@hazelannhtd4lifer852 The thing is that i definitely could have stayed overnight but they didn't want to bother. If I was aware as i was now i definitely would have done something about it. It's not as bad as when i got moved from middle to bottom set maths after i received my ADHD diagnosis

    • @Wheelsnoheels
      @Wheelsnoheels  4 года назад +1

      Wow, the amount we put up with back in the day. Its only now I realise how much I was subjected to. xx

    • @jenblack98
      @jenblack98 4 года назад

      @@Wheelsnoheels And i still hear people say ableism doesn't exist. It's ridiculous.

    • @katfoster845
      @katfoster845 4 года назад +2

      I run a Brownie pack. I have taken girls who use wheelchairs away on camp. It's not a problem. Our church hall has level access and an accessible bathroom, so there's absolutely no excuse for us saying no to a Brownie in a wheelchair.
      It does help that I'm a care worker (although I work with elderly people) and my co leader is a nurse. It means we're more aware of access and care needs.
      We book somewhere with an accessible room and discuss the needs of that particular girl with her and her parents. It's not difficult. And girlguiding provides accessibility funding.
      The way you were treated is appalling and their commissioner should have had words.

  • @evelynkrull5268
    @evelynkrull5268 4 года назад +3

    I say this most videos like this but I'm constantly told "maybe you should save that for the elderly and disabled" because I walked in from the car? Sometimes even in response to my own walker, like as if my purchase of a mobility device is taking away from others?

  • @Mothman.69
    @Mothman.69 4 года назад +11

    I absolutely hate if someone asks “what’s wrong with you” and I decide I’m not dealing with it and tell them the truth “I’m autistic” (they usually ask cause I have a service dog) and then they proceed to argue with me that I’m not autistic. Like what is your right to say what is and is not wrong with me, then they proceed to go into on well my needs is autistic and you don’t act like him. Then I have to take time out of my day to explain each person is a individual and doesn’t experience things in the same way.

    • @davidbrouwers7309
      @davidbrouwers7309 4 года назад +3

      I get you.
      And besides of the severity levels there are also different forms (Asperger's, classic and PDD NOS, although they stopped with the separation for some strange reason, everyone is now just "on the autism spectrum". Not really helpful when you sort of know what to expect with each classification).
      I'm an Aspie so generally people assume that I'm not autistic at all "everyone has some autistic traits" 🤦🏻‍♂️

    • @Mothman.69
      @Mothman.69 4 года назад +1

      David Brouwers people stopped using aspergers as a term because the term was created my a nazi scientist who did experiments on people that were autistic or fit into that category

    • @craigmollins8057
      @craigmollins8057 2 года назад +1

      Absolutely disgraceful, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone, I’m Dyspraxic and feel like I get judged sometimes

  • @waffles3629
    @waffles3629 4 года назад +10

    I have chronic daily migraine. I've literally had a singular migraine for almost four years. The pain level varies but it never goes away.
    -"It's all in your head 🤣🤣🤣". Actually no, it isn't, migraine can affect your whole body. Mine makes me nauseous all the time.
    -"But if you're in that much pain every day you should be used to it". What??? 🤬 I can't just magically ignore pain just because it happens all the time, it's still bloody painful.
    -"But you can walk/talk/have a job/live alone". As if every disabled person is nonverbal, paralyzed, jobless and needs 24/7 care.
    -"It's not chronic until it's been a decade". Umm what???
    -"It's just a little headache, drink a Sprite and take some Excedrin". No, it's not "just a headache", it's a migraine. A migraine is "just a little headache" like cardiac arrest is "just a little chest pain". Also either of those will land me in the ER, caffeine makes my migraine really really bad extremely fast.
    -"You can't have a migraine if you're posting/commenting online". Yes I can, not everyone is light sensitive. Also blue light filters are a thing.
    And I've even gotten garbage from disabled people.
    -"I don't let MY disability stop me from living my life". Well good for you, I find it just a little bit hard to do stuff when turning my head makes me throw up, my head feels like it's exploding and the brain fog is so bad I can't remember my own birthday.
    -"Don't say you suffer because of your disability, you suffer because of how society treats you because of your disability". No, I suffer because of my disability, being in pain every single day for years isn't fun.
    -"Make your disability your superpower". I fail to see how head pain, nausea, and sensitively to sound and smells is a superpower. Unless you mean the ability to smell someone smoking 100s of feet away that'll cause me to spend the next two days in bed???
    -"That's not a real disability, no wonder people think disabled people are a joke". Uh, yes it is. Can we stop infighting and work together?
    Like how hard is it to be kind?

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 4 года назад +2

      Oh and "You have *another* migraine?" (said in a very disbelieving tone). Uh, no actually, it's the same one as last time. Or the similar "You're sick *again*?" and "Didn't you have a migraine last time I talked to/saw you?". Uh yeah, I always have a migraine.

    • @jeffkardosjr.3825
      @jeffkardosjr.3825 8 месяцев назад

      The superpower one, heh! What superpower is it to see blurry for several hours?

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@jeffkardosjr.3825 I don't get that symptom, but yeah, it's not a superpower.

  • @annemareecrowe1999
    @annemareecrowe1999 2 года назад +4

    I use a walking stick because I have mobility issues. One day I went for a job interview as an executive assistant and the person I was going to work for made a so called joke and asked me if I used my walking stick as a weapon if people got in my way. I was not impressed by this and whilst I didn't get the job, I wouldn't have wanted it anyway with that kind of attitude.

  • @someonerandom6379
    @someonerandom6379 4 года назад +7

    I hate how often random strangers ask my partner “what’s wrong with you then ?......actually NOTHING is wrong with him, he has a spinal cord injury 😡. Also that people assume if you have a strong mind you can overcome your injury.....yeah right, like he can hypnotise his mind into repairing a severed spinal cord !

    • @lululovesyou7618
      @lululovesyou7618 4 года назад +3

      Oh my gosh- I so agree. Or they point out someone they know of or heard about who " through sheer will and hard work learned to walk again" . Umm, yes because non complete injuries can take years to heal but fortunately can heal- but other things can not. Makes my blood boil.

  • @martyhopkirk9646
    @martyhopkirk9646 4 года назад +8

    Yes - Until I started wearing a hearing aid that was plainly visible ( and even now) I got the "you dontt look / sound deaf".
    Hey ho. You dont look like a small minded fool, but there you go looks can be deceiving. (NOT You Gem, defo not you)

  • @Sikizu
    @Sikizu 4 года назад +5

    I was out to lunch with friends at a place I'd gone many times before, but this time I had my bamboo walking stick with me (we were going to go hiking afterwards). It is a big stick, but that's because it's gotta be a bit more versatile and beefy than my normal cane. My friends noted to me that the employees and other customers were gawking at me, and I was later approached by the manager... who told me that one of his customers "didn't feel safe" with me and my stick. I told him off and told him to tell his customer (later identified as an older-aged white woman) that I really couldn't help my mobility issues and if she had a problem with it, to please look up the ADA (this was in America). His face turned bright red and he excused himself with his tail between his legs. Said Karen continued to stare at me the entire time and made my entire group of friends uncomfortable. Never went back.

  • @tomlee252
    @tomlee252 4 года назад +2

    I’ve known some rude people, but the one that hit hard was my own mother-in-law telling me that I need to up and walk, I’ve never been mean enough to tell her to get over her anxieties

  • @jamiespurlin7132
    @jamiespurlin7132 4 года назад +14

    I had a family member tell me that I had to leave their house because my wheelchair was scratching up their floor. I haven't been back to their house since. Also, I had another family member tell me to get out of the chair because it's doing more damage than good.

    • @davelarson5672
      @davelarson5672 4 года назад +8

      Family or not, I would never return, meet anywhere else, or ever invite them over. GRRRR!!!

    • @melissaz6778
      @melissaz6778 4 года назад +5

      I was leaning against my aunty's couch a few years ago (back ache from sitting in my wheelchair so was trying to change positions for a bit). She told me off because I was going to damage the couch by leaning on it. Yet my dad was pretty much doing the same thing but with him being able bodied he wasn't "causing damage" like I was

    • @clarettaskelly709
      @clarettaskelly709 9 месяцев назад

      I have been an avid YMCA member for years, I have had housekeeping complain that my wheels were making the locker room floors (tile) difficult to clean, I can’t see how the tires of my wheelchair would make marks of the floor that couldn’t be cleaned compared to people’s shoes.

    • @user-sx9hq7qwert
      @user-sx9hq7qwert 4 часа назад

      @@clarettaskelly709 Do u have non-marking tires? Some do leave marks n some leave marks that R actually difficult to clean. Shoes r the same: some leave marks n some do not; some r designed 4 gym use n some r not.
      Another big problem with wheelchairs: they hav 1 set of tires 4 indoors AND outdoors. Depending on the weather, it can leave a mess behind.
      Tire covers can mitigate both problems.

  • @theawkwardgirl6564
    @theawkwardgirl6564 4 месяца назад

    I’m an ambulatory user, but I know that I will reach the point someday when I might be a full-time user. My whole family is in denial, and their comments annoy me almost every day, from telling me how tough I am to how I just want to be lazy, etc. the most recent one being from my grandma telling me, "You'll always be strong enough to walk up stairs; I believe in you." It’s already exhausting and sometimes painful to climb stairs.

  • @callabeth258
    @callabeth258 3 года назад +2

    The let out for the day comment made me frown at the screen in incredulity! They were all bad of course but that took the top prize!

  • @reachandler3655
    @reachandler3655 4 года назад +3

    The one that annoys me the most as a wheelchair user is the assumption I can somehow go upstairs. I've had that several times, I can only assume they've seen Daleks in Doctor Who navigate stairs and think that wheelchairs have the same technology...

  • @MicheMoffatt
    @MicheMoffatt 3 года назад +1

    So glad you made this. I’m new to having a chair, and prior to having cauda equina and cord compression a couple years back - I was an ICU nurse. I’ve had people say “remember you used to run around work. You e gotten really heavy now you need the wheelchair - you used to be so pretty” 😳 ehhhh hello, what? I refused to admit I wasn’t able for so long and pretty much was glad of lockdown as I didn’t need to leave my house. It was only approaching the 2 year mark that I acknowledged refusing a chair was me refusing independence. It’s hard enough to have any life changing events without being made to feel guilty……. And the whole “you can train your mind to let you walk!”…… awesome! Tell that to my spinal cord please x I’m glad you made this. It definitely helps me feel less alone! And brings a lot of people misunderstanding to light 😘 thanks for your videos! As a newbie to this all is a mega help! Alsoooo - I’m in Scotland & it rains constantly - have you got any tips for how to have a better grip in the pouring rain!x

  • @holisticliberty7430
    @holisticliberty7430 Год назад +1

    I’m so grateful for people like you. I just recently purchased a wheelchair because the pain I’m going through got to unbearable to deal with. It’s not so much the pain level (4-7) on a normal basis on a scale of 1-10. 4 usually when doing nothing at all. It’s the continual 24/7 pain that worsens when I’m active.
    I’ve gotten to the point that after getting up and making breakfast for mom who has dementia and cancer and making breakfast for me and doing dishes I would stumble over to my son’s room crying in pain knocking on his door and asking him to take over.
    Getting a wheelchair helps me to be able to do more and be more independent.
    I went through an emotional trauma because of the stigma associated with people who can walk and use a wheelchair. Even though mom is one of them and uses one because she’s a fall risk. It’s actually harder to face people who know me then ones who don’t. They had no idea how much pain I’ve been suffering in silence. Using grocery carts as walkers along with my mother’s wheelchair when I would push her in her wheelchair.
    I have plantar Fibroma in both feet, osteoarthritis, we’re still checking for other stuff(long story)
    My boyfriend Bill and I recently went to an event with people we know. Most were very respectful.
    However one of our friends looked at me really strange and responded (What did you do!?) I responded I didn’t do anything. Then he turned to Bill and said accusingly what did you do!? Bill responded I didn’t do anything. Then he said take some big marbles and put them on the bottom of your feet then walk on them, that’s how she feels, that’s why she’s in a wheelchair. He got quite.

  • @melaniebutson7933
    @melaniebutson7933 4 года назад +3

    My doctor asked me why I was walking with a crutch. Told him the chronic pain in my legs from fibromyalgia makes it impossible for me to walk unaided. He was surprised.

  • @michellebenna8539
    @michellebenna8539 4 года назад +2

    Ge, I love your voices that you used, they were PERFECT!

  • @SnowySpiritRuby
    @SnowySpiritRuby 4 года назад +7

    Please make a Part 2!
    The most annoying one I've had someone say to me so far: "Make sure you don't become too dependent on it [my wheelchair]". I asked her on multiple occasions to explain what she meant by that, and she never could - all she could say was that she knew people who had become too dependent on their wheelchairs and that that wasn't good. Which is sad, because this person is a friend of mine and I've been one of their dog walkers when they go out of town (and the only reason I'm able to walk their dog is because she pulls, which pulls me along, which in turn keeps my legs from giving out on me when I walk). Apparently she thought that because she had once worked in a disabled veterans rehab facility that she knows better than I do what I am and am not capable of, and so could make decisions for me as well. A few weeks later, she saw me walking around in the parking lot after church and commented that I must be doing a lot better simply because I wasn't in my chair (I've never used it in church because I can sit whenever I need to, and there's no elevator up to the choir loft but there is a railing the entire way up) - I politely retorted, "Haha - no. You should have seen me in the choir loft - I could barely keep my balance!" (POTS, which affects me in such a way that it makes me a part time w/c user). Every time I've seen her since and it was an accessible location (i.e. pretty much anywhere other than church), I've made sure to use my chair, just to prove my point. She's the only person who knows me personally who has made that kind of comment - everyone else either ignores it (in the same way one ought to ignore a service dog) or is genuinely curious/interested.
    Another one I've gotten: one of the times I had someone on the mobility assistance crew pushing me through the airport, at one of my gates I stood up momentarily to readjust, and when I sat back down, he asked me, "did you just stand up??", apparently astonished. I calmly replied, "Yes. Not everyone who uses a wheelchair is unable to stand." I still get pleasure out of grocery shopping in my wheelchair only to stand up out of it and climb up to reach things on the top shelf - breaking the stereotype just by going about my regular daily activities.
    One I got from someone who saw me out practicing curbs in the parking lot across the street from her house (that parking lot has the perfect curb for learning): "Do you know so-and-so? He's in a wheelchair, too."
    One I got from my mom (of all people) about a month after I started using a chair: I was at my cousin's wedding, and I love swing dancing (have to space it out so I can rest in between each one, since the chair is mostly for fatigue as opposed to issues with walking itself) so I made to get up out of my chair to dance with my dad for the third time, and my mom actually told me outright "if you keep doing that, people are going to think you're suddenly healed". I turned around and looked her straight in the face and said "you think I actually care?!"
    I put my other one in my comment on the Pet Peeves video - when someone asked me what I had done to end up in the chair and I said "nothing", he replied loudly enough that the dozen or so people near us could hear him clearly, "so it's just for fun, then?", I retorted just as loudly "Heck no! If it was just for fun, I wouldn't be doing it!" Someone possibly wanting to make light of the situation epically failing and ending up just saying something really offensive, which was disappointing because I would never have expected it from anyone in that particular organization (most of whom have known me literally my entire life). I've also gotten the "so it's just for fun?" from someone I went to school with, but he wasn't being patronizing or trying to be funny (and he didn't say it loudly enough for anyone else other than me to hear him), he was genuinely trying to understand (I hadn't seen him since several years prior to having to use a w/c), so it only made me slightly annoyed.
    I will also take my chair with me if I know the seating provided wherever I'm going will or might be uncomfortable, because, while my chair still needs some modifications (I've only had it 3 1/2 months so we're still fine tuning things), it's at least measured correctly for me, and it's basically impossible to find a regular chair that's actually small enough for me because my legs are so short (I'm barely 5').

    • @punky19761
      @punky19761 4 года назад +1

      I am wheelchair dependent, I haven’t learned to levitate yet, and I can’t live my best life if I don’t get out of bed. 🦽❤️

  • @ShakespeareOfBorg
    @ShakespeareOfBorg 4 года назад +2

    I got the "you're so brave" for taking a National Express coach on my own with my walking frame.
    Admittedly it was brave because the last time I had to argue with the driver about putting my frame in the luggage area but because three pushchairs were in there, there wasn't much space.

  • @sailorbrite
    @sailorbrite 4 года назад +4

    Ha. I have Raynaud’s disease which means when I get cold or stressed or sick, my hands and feet turn blue. It started happening when I was 11. I was still a teenager I think, and my mom was in the hospital and a cardiologist came by to see her and I happened to mention it in front of him. And he, the doctor himself, told me I was too young for that! Well doc, I don’t know what to tell you, unless my innards are secretly older than me.

  • @stephaniefbriggs
    @stephaniefbriggs 4 года назад +6

    I REALLY hate when my husband and I go somewhere with him pushing my wheelchair and rather than asking me questions or speaking to me directly they ask my husband like I am a child. That is SO insulting and I just answer myself. My husband tells them to ask me but even places we have been multiple times like doctor's offices still keep doing it.

  • @SenailCooledge
    @SenailCooledge 4 года назад +7

    I'm a newly part-time chair user. I need all the prep I'm gonna get 😅 I thought I got enough of the dumb comments with my cane.

    • @sarahjaneroberts1736
      @sarahjaneroberts1736 4 года назад +2

      Snap, I’m the same! Xxp

    • @SnowySpiritRuby
      @SnowySpiritRuby 4 года назад +2

      If you're looking for more questions/comments to be potentially prepared for, Whiz Kids here on youtube did a series on stupid questions people ask people in wheelchairs, and I'm sure a search for stupid questions wheelchair users get asked will bring up plenty more (I know I've seen more than just the Whiz Kids ones and Gem's, I just can't think of the channel names off the top of my head). There's also an article on Ditch the Label about how the author answers 10 common stupid questions she gets asked as a wheelchair user.

    • @SenailCooledge
      @SenailCooledge 4 года назад +1

      @@SnowySpiritRuby Thanks!

    • @SnowySpiritRuby
      @SnowySpiritRuby 4 года назад +1

      @@SenailCooledge You're very welcome.

    • @melaniebutson7933
      @melaniebutson7933 4 года назад +1

      Ditto

  • @othfanatic1
    @othfanatic1 2 года назад +1

    I am in a power wheelchair and I have had people asked me how am I getting home and when I tell them that I drove myself they just looked shocked and change the subject.

  • @katfoster845
    @katfoster845 4 года назад +10

    I don't use a wheelchair, but my boyfriend does. When we go out, people talk to me instead of him. I'm deaf, so I just look at him to translate. He's not the one with the communication barrier.
    I also get asked why I'm with someone who uses a wheelchair. And comments about our sex life like it's any of their business.
    I also once got told that I should be reported for kissing him. This was entirely consensual and between two adults. How is that any of their business?

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      I'm at the stage of telling some of them to "mind their own fu..g business" and I've only been "visibly" disabled by using a cane for about six months or less.

  • @heatherlewis3713
    @heatherlewis3713 4 года назад +3

    I am from Australia. I was looking in a shop window in a mall that was on a slope. I was on my way to the train station. I stopped to have a look at something in a shop window. All of a sudden a guy come up behind me grabbed my chair & said "Are you OK, do you need a hand". Before I had a chance to answer him he was pushing me up the hill to the train station. He didn't even ask me if that's where I wanted to go.
    Another one I get alot is if I'm out with someone & we're waiting at a counter to order food. Some staff will turn to the person with me & will ask them " what would she like". They usually get the response " She can talk for herself, ask her what she wants". I love the startled look on their face.
    Or people that push infront of you in the queue. If I can be seen, when the person asks who's next, I will say "I was actually here before this person". You should see the look on that persons face in the queue - It's like them saying " This person can speak".
    I love your videos.

  • @oneleggedwonder1
    @oneleggedwonder1 2 года назад +3

    Listening to all of these remind me of ones that have happened to me one that happened to me was can you please get out of the pool you not having a leg is scaring the children and then a few years later me and my wife who is also disabled went to the swimming pool and the man said better get out to let the spastics get in took a nice deep breath and said thank you very much and got into the jacuzzi calmly

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      You were more polite than they deserved.

    • @mythicalmermaid5757
      @mythicalmermaid5757 Год назад

      Sometimes it’s better not to sink to their level.

  • @TheAdamMalcolm
    @TheAdamMalcolm Год назад +1

    I always go out of my way to explain things to kids and get them to see my wheelchair as something g cool, it’s up to us to educate the next generation, their parents are hardly going to do it! 😂

  • @punky19761
    @punky19761 4 года назад +3

    I was at a pharmacy once where a person working there asked me where my carer was so I could go home. I pointed out the window at my van and told her I drove myself here. She was extremely shocked. 🙄

  • @CrystalMouse1
    @CrystalMouse1 3 года назад +7

    -“Wow! You have a pretty wheelchair! You are obviously okay, money-wise”(at the welfare office applying for food stamps)
    -“I want your wheelchair, walking hurts”
    -“can I have sex with you in your wheelchair? I have a thing for wheelchairs”
    -“why do you need a ramp? You just want everyone to revolve around you!”
    -“glad my tax dollars are being used properly “ (lady watching me get lifted on a bus)
    -“your wheelchair is reminding me of death and illness. I can’t be your friend anymore.”
    -“you’re a fire hazard. We can’t have you in our choir”

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад +2

      My God, I didnt realise things were this bad! I'm at stage of considering a different mobility aid, still trying to get definitive diagnosis for worsening of my issues. But a "fire hazard" geez, wtf.

  • @kat1722
    @kat1722 4 года назад +8

    It’s not the worst thing but people always ask me who I’m training my assistance dog for....
    I’m usually happy to talk about Maria and I can explain what she does for me without going too much into my conditions, on a good day I can explain lots of different tasks and how much she’s made my life easier (she’s owner trained and we actually bred her but then she started naturally alerting at around the same time I actually (finally) got my first diagnosis. I get the “lucky you get to take your dog” comments sometimes too, it’s actually harder because 1) she’s still learning 2) I have to remember to take her stuff as well as mine 3) people and this year she’s gone backwards a little because we’ve just not been able to get out, she gets back in the swing then we have to stay home again
    PIP assessments are the worst!
    I had a child (maybe 3) run up and try to grab my stick while I was walking with it, luckily I was with my friend who spotted the kid (coming in from my blind area) and put her hand between to stop him with a firm ‘no’ then looked up at the parent and made firm eye contact until she called him back. (I told her if it happened again not to try to catch me if I went down)

  • @lilsheba1
    @lilsheba1 3 года назад +1

    I am a new ambulatory wheelchair user, with a fresh new disabled parking placard. I am gearing up to go out in the world with these items for the first time and I'm already leary :/

  • @sw4631
    @sw4631 4 года назад +2

    The amount of looks I get when my husband is parking our car in a disabled parking bay, and we put the badge out, and it’s mainly from older people. I’m 51 x

  • @ShakespeareOfBorg
    @ShakespeareOfBorg 4 года назад +1

    I get the "what have you done to yourself" a lot but it's partly accurate because usually I've pushed myself too hard and am now suffering!

  • @EmilyCheetham
    @EmilyCheetham 4 года назад +7

    Although it’s not disability related I was really struggling on my birthday at the beginning on the month and someone stupidly said to me “well at least your alive”. So I replied back “you know what people are allowed to feel bad that every holiday they booked last year was cancelled and their birthday was cancelled and they didn’t even get their gifts from relatives due to lockdown”. So person replied back that I was making a fuss over nothing and that I should be great full for being alive. Well screw that person when I’m struggling as it is to cope with covid as it is. Especially since I have autism and my routine has totally gone out the window due to covid. add to that I moved house last year so Iv left everyone behind.

  • @MAE-nm2tl
    @MAE-nm2tl Год назад +2

    "you have MS? Well lucky for you that they have a cure for that now!"
    " If you would just try to walk! you know if you don't use it you will loose it "
    -- 😭.....🤮🤧

  • @Lsaizul
    @Lsaizul 2 года назад +1

    I keep having the nurses at my doctors office ask me if I want them to push me when they come to the waiting room to call me back to the treatment room. Just want to scream. If we need help we will ask, don't ask us!!!

  • @craigslater6508
    @craigslater6508 4 года назад +3

    being asked where my carer is really gets on my nerves. I am blind and have been asked if someone could read a letter to me because the organisation sending it couldn't be bothered to send me a copy in an accessible format.

    • @katfoster845
      @katfoster845 4 года назад +1

      I'm deaf and I get asked if someone can call on my behalf constantly. I'm not 6, so no.

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      Jeez, I used to work for Prof Ron McCallum as a temp. He was a blind law professor at University of Sydney. Haven't they heard of scanners, screen readers etc. But carer? He did remarkable things using technology to assist with everyday life [also had other health issues].

  • @Rick-xq5mu
    @Rick-xq5mu 4 года назад +3

    My wife only has hearing in one ear, so she can't hear a thing from her deaf side. She works in a bar and she always apologises if she hasn't noticed something that has been said. She explains she's deaf on that side and the usual response is they say "what" thinking they're funny or they shout their order - again thinking they're funny.

  • @AndrewHaverson
    @AndrewHaverson 4 года назад +1

    Thank you, thank you for dispelling ignorance (including my own).

  • @Bee-dp3st
    @Bee-dp3st 4 года назад +1

    This was hilarious 🤣 yet true! I swear people are ignorant out there! The things they put us through lol
    Thanks for sharing. Love from South Africa

  • @cherylcalifornia125
    @cherylcalifornia125 4 года назад +3

    Someone had walked past me really fast and made the comment with a laugh, “I’d hate to see what the other person looks like.” It took me several seconds for it to register in my brain before I could reply back to him but he was already long gone. I’m a paraplegic, complete, and besides using my wheelchair to get around I also had a cast on my leg for I had broken my ankle. (This incident was about 22.5 yrs ago) That guy thought he was being funny thinking I was in some kind of fight. I remember feeling embarrassed at first than I got angry. I wanted to go find him and educate him but like I had said he was long gone. Some people need to think before speaking.

    • @SuperNovaJinckUFO
      @SuperNovaJinckUFO 4 года назад +3

      Honestly it sounds to me like he was insinuating you won the fight XD

    • @cherylcalifornia125
      @cherylcalifornia125 4 года назад +2

      @@SuperNovaJinckUFO Maybe! Still made me upset because he didn’t know me or my story and just made a joke and rushed on past me. Might have been nice of him to hear a reply back from me.

  • @Sonderax
    @Sonderax 4 года назад +2

    Ive not been spoken too about my disability as mine isnt visible. But when people take the piss out of the condition i have makes me wanna flip. You never know whos around so why talk down/bad to those with a certain disability.
    One here i agree with. "its all in your mind" I have ASD and ADHD. Both mental disabilities

  • @billymccaughey3741
    @billymccaughey3741 4 года назад +1

    Thanks for your humor. Being a wheelchair user myself I have heard my share. Please keep being brilliant 🙂♥️♥️♥️

  • @strawsoffthecamelsback
    @strawsoffthecamelsback 2 года назад +1

    especially, I have some experience with eating greens, and they really did not suit my body. there is no one size fits all and one should never ever connect "healthy eating" as a means to prevent disability.

  • @lilsilverkitsune
    @lilsilverkitsune 4 года назад +2

    I cant wrap my head around the fact that their are so ignorant to disabled peoples

  • @TheMazinoz
    @TheMazinoz 2 года назад +2

    Perhaps we should get together a collection of "comeback" responses to the assorted idiots out there. They could range up to the ones that you should only say if you have others present or can make a quick getaway or are out of range to be physically assaulted.

  • @bluedeva
    @bluedeva 4 года назад +14

    I’ve had to deal with most of those comments at some point. I was at a festival and someone came up to my friend and asked why did my friend bring me in my wheelchair as it was bringing down her “high” 😡 ive had the “get up! let me have a go!” From someone who was way to drunk. Who then decided he wanted to sit on my lap as he hurt his knee at football 😤 ive also had the “oh my gosh if I had to be a cripple like you I would have killed myself by now” the worst ones are where a random stranger asks about my private medical history and then was angry when I said I don’t know you and I don’t want to talk about it. She then yelled “well you deserve to be in a wheelchair! I just hate that I have to pay for you(me) to live!” ..... must admit I did want to punch her at that point but I wasn’t going to waste one of my spoons (energy) on someone that disgusting 😂🤗🥰🤗

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад +2

      I've had the ones wanting to know what my medical issue was, [its complicated, multisystem Ehlers Danlos], then want to "heal" me by putting their hands on my knee [the one with a brace]. Others have wanted to put my mobility scooter in their car and drive me home, though I only live a few houses from the local shop I was in. Though I told them this, they kept insisting x 5. I was on the verge of trying to get a store assistant to call security. Pretty sure they were going to steal it and throw me from the car.

  • @22Lura
    @22Lura 4 года назад +3

    My friend who is also in a wheelchair hates going out in public with me because of the stupid stuff that people say to us. Some of the most common things is people will come up to us and tell us to stop racing we are not at the racetrack. Funny thing is that they are usually going faster than we can. Then another favorite is when they ask if we are twins. Then when we say no and ask why they are like oh I just thought that with the wheelchairs and all that you could possibly be twins.🤦‍♀️

  • @sophiesteele2106
    @sophiesteele2106 4 года назад +15

    I had some lady look me up and down and say "I bet you were vaccinated " and walked away

    • @Bee-dp3st
      @Bee-dp3st 4 года назад +1

      🤣🤣🤣 OMG!!!! Whaaaattt

    • @davidbrouwers7309
      @davidbrouwers7309 4 года назад +5

      A good response to that would be "I bet your momma dropped you on your head as a baby"
      Can also used with things starting with "I assume ...."

    • @sophiesteele2106
      @sophiesteele2106 4 года назад +1

      @@davidbrouwers7309 I wanted to say "yes and that's why I'm still alive" but she walked away before I could respond

    • @positivity-prevails4209
      @positivity-prevails4209 4 года назад +1

      WTF

    • @punky19761
      @punky19761 4 года назад +1

      Wtf

  • @Hulachowdown
    @Hulachowdown 4 года назад +3

    One of my favourites is “ you mustn’t be too sick then if you are still can ride a horse”
    🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @positivity-prevails4209
      @positivity-prevails4209 4 года назад +1

      Oh my gosh what a moron

    • @Hulachowdown
      @Hulachowdown 4 года назад +1

      @@positivity-prevails4209 i just looked at them like an they had a second head. Clearly they haven’t heard of paralympics where people ride horses with no legs and such ( or doing ‘regular’ rodeos with a broken back like one lady does my area). Or therapy riding ( i know a few people that are very much limited in day to day life but find horses helps them so much).
      Or just the fact that because I am ill doesn’t mean it effects every aspect of my life the same. I can still do my sort, I just have to modify my training and do a lot of self care to do the same as everyone else.

    • @SnowySpiritRuby
      @SnowySpiritRuby 4 года назад +3

      Haven't gotten that comment myself, but I can SOO relate - I'm a riding instructor by trade and can ride all day just fine, but I still have to use my chair when going very far on pavement due to POTS and almost definite EDS combined with structural misalignments.

    • @Hulachowdown
      @Hulachowdown 4 года назад +1

      @@SnowySpiritRuby yes I can ride fine relatively fine( some days are rough but most of the time I manage well enough that no one guesses how sick I am) it is walking that I find hard. Or sometimes I will be sick in the wings but still rally enough to finish my round.
      My coach has had many issues in life so she is so empathetic and understanding ( she might be the best person I know to train me since she was in a pwr chair and still recovered enough to show at the GP level... until she got a stroke ). Most trainers would give up on me and tell me to give up on my dreams as well since I can’t train like most people do. I just have to get as good as others with half the training and I can’t compete all day for weeks straight like I did before I got ill. But luckily I had a decade of riding in me before now so at least I have the skill... it is just modifying my riding so I don’t tire myself out or get hurt like I used to. My shoulders, ankles and hips dislocate easily too so I have to do lots of PT and pilates to make sure I am keeping my body strong enough to handle anything that happens when I am jumping( and i only jump a few times a week when not showing to keep the impact low).

    • @punky19761
      @punky19761 4 года назад +2

      Wtf does that even mean? I’ve been disabled my whole life, I grew up going to camp and riding horses was one of my favorite activities. Also I rode a horse for probably at least a few hours with nobody next to me through the mountains in Colorado when I was 14....still as the paraplegic that I am. To be fair, that was kind of dangerous with the level of horse riding ability that I had at the time, but I survived it.

  • @stephcharlie
    @stephcharlie 4 года назад +6

    I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user and I've had dirty looks and hushed whispers about faking when I pull up in my car walk to the boot and pull out my wheelchair (same when I do the reverse). I also get a lot of "fat isn't a disability" "you aren't disabled you're just fat" and "if she actually walked then she wouldn't be so fat". I am obese, but obviously, that is not the reason I use my chair or scooter, besides not that it's anyone else's business, my health problems, disability, and medications are major contributors to my weight gain and also barriers to my weight loss attempts. I once had someone in response to me asking them not to let their kids attempt to scare my (pet) dog dismiss me by saying "Go get some salad in your fridge" I'm still yet to work out what my weight had to do with anything or why it meant my dog deserved to be harassed by poorly supervised children.

    • @stephcharlie
      @stephcharlie 4 года назад +3

      While I was at high school, my doctors and physiotherapist recommended I did not attempt any weight-bearing exercise which meant I couldn't participate in PE or dance classes aside from swimming (this was in the 90's no-one had heard of the Rollettes or even considered seated dancing back then), my teachers did not like this one bit and would constantly harass me for endless doctors notes. I swear they must have had a whole file full by the time I left. Anyway one of the teachers, instead of not grading me on the class because I couldn't take part decided to give me a failing grade and accuse me of not putting in enough effort. The grade was then read out in front of my entire class humiliating me further, I was prewarned by my form tutor and head of year who were very apologetic as it wasn't my fault but there was nothing they could do to change or stop it.

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      Yes, I get it. Even doctors have said this to me about losing weight despite being on meds that make you gain it. Also low fat diet for decades but still have high normal cholesterol, most likely due to a genetic disorder in our family possibly a mitochondrial myopathy, but they haven't found the genetic basis of this disorder yet.

  • @richardholder8970
    @richardholder8970 Год назад

    Gem, I’m watching your vlogs and I take my hat off to you,I have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and I’m able to walk with crutches a very short distance but as time goes forward my illness will get worse and I will eventually be in my wheelchair 24/7!

  • @trinidadchapa4287
    @trinidadchapa4287 2 года назад +2

    I've enjoyed!! watching Your videos. And Yes People Can really be STUPID!!
    I Really Hate It !!! When people Assume your not normal.

  • @valerieannrumpf4151
    @valerieannrumpf4151 2 года назад +2

    This happened to me last week when I was going in to a dunkin donuts across the street from my bank and I had an older gentlemen say to me that I needed money to get a coffee and donut from there , not realizing that I just came across the street in my power whèelchair from my bank so that I had money to buy a cup of Joe ☕and some donuts 🍩🍩. I guess that he was assuming that because I was dressed casual (pants, t shirt that says life begins after coffee and sneskers) and that I'm in my power chair, he assumed that I had no money and was going to beg for a coffee and donut. He followed me in there and was behind me when I placed my order and took out a 20 dollar bill to pay for it, he had this shocked look on his face like how dare that I have cash on hand in my wallet. I guess that he was under the impression that because I'm physically disabled, I can't handle money either.

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      Yes, there is also an automatic assumption that all people with a disability are automatically poor. Some are, some aren't. Depends on an individuals life story.

  • @urbanhawk2886
    @urbanhawk2886 Год назад

    Most recent I had an older man, 70s probably say to me "You should be doing more with your life."
    Like what??? I hardly sleep due to PTSD, pain and having to relocate several limbs numerous times a night. Am then thankful if I can even get out of my bed in the morning. I do my freelance work, volunteer and get on with the everyday things that all adults have too do. Is the walking the thing I am not trying hard enough at? because unfortunately I can't walk anymore.
    Ironically he was a member of the Rotary Club and his local organisation was trying to persuade me to becoming a member. Never gonna happen now.

  • @QWERTYOP80
    @QWERTYOP80 4 года назад

    I’ve had the “carer” one a few times. Even from people who know me! They’d say they “saw me out with my carer(s)” when I was just out meeting friends. Grrrr.

  • @goodcommunitylife
    @goodcommunitylife 2 года назад +1

    I have autism, depression, and bipolar two disorder, and I really hate it when people tell me that I am faking my disabilities just receive money from the government.
    First of all, I am not faking my disabilities at all, I work at a job that I really love in order to make more money for myself and to not rely on the government and my parents so much, and I hate relying on Social Security.
    Also, whenever I try to stand up for myself and when people say mean and ignorant comments to me and about me, I am sometimes told to just shut up and if I do not shut up, I will get in trouble just for speaking up and standing up for myself.

    • @TheMazinoz
      @TheMazinoz 2 года назад

      Yeh, its tough and a sometimes fine line to have to walk to stand up for yourself against harassment.

  • @alejandroroldanropero6604
    @alejandroroldanropero6604 2 года назад +4

    The "what did you do to yourself?" it's hateful. I did nothing to myself :(
    And I've gotten the comment of "You use a cane for real? I thought it was for the look"
    I was like 🤡🤡🤡 I don't use it for simple fun 🥺 It was hard for me to accept that I needed a walking aid, it's not for looks at all.

  • @katboyton7830
    @katboyton7830 4 года назад +2

    That hypermobile bend in your fingers when you count.. my EDS fingers do the same.
    Ps loving the bedroom look!

  • @majaisakszon1475
    @majaisakszon1475 4 года назад +1

    I have a friend with MS he is in a wheelchair. We where in a city. I was with him to push his wheelchair due to him getting tired.
    I was in a city that I didnt know to well.
    A woman came up to us and asked me where e certain store was. I respondet with acting like I was deaf so she had to ask my friend in his wheelchair as he had grown up in this city. So he answered and said she cant talk nor hear. But I know the way to the store.
    Just so stupid to think that he cant talk or wont know the way.
    So sad.