Why Anger Can Be Good

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  • Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024

Комментарии • 88

  • @carolynkepler2826
    @carolynkepler2826 2 года назад +75

    I was not allowed to express anger for most of my life. I experienced anger as SADNESS! I finally made the connection when a woman I was bowling with was being a B--. I remember thinking “I’m not sad, I’m angry” and said so. A major shift in my behavior. This happened 25 yrs ago and I still remember the incident to this day.

    • @An-hv1nt
      @An-hv1nt 2 года назад +1

      So you got angry at her for being a b? I experience anger as disappointment in myself so find your comment very interesting :)

    • @carolynkepler2826
      @carolynkepler2826 2 года назад +1

      @@An-hv1nt That’s how clueless I was back then. It was a real revelation for me to finally see the difference. I still have to stop sometimes when that feeling comes over me.

    • @Dev-kz1gf
      @Dev-kz1gf 2 года назад

      Psychologist and therapist can also be bad people. They too can be manipulative, liars and fake. They too can manipulate fake information that’s not real. They make everything that’s human nature a disorder in order to lure others into seeing a therapist in order to gain more money for the business. Not only are they liars and bad people but they aren’t as smart as you might think. People too can make up fake problems, fake emotions and put on a fake act and pretend to be stupid/retarded or any negative emotion and thus making the therapist believe everything that’s thrown at them. Even negative emotions can be masked and fake. Don’t be so naive to believe everything that’s thrown at you especially from someone you don’t talk too or know just but hear things about.

    • @Lana-zy8yl
      @Lana-zy8yl 2 года назад +5

      I feel like not feeling like you're allowed to be angry when you are can create a feeling of hopelessness. Do you think that's what made you sad? And then maybe you said, "No, I'm allowed to be angry. What a bitch!" Lol

    • @schwap7210
      @schwap7210 2 года назад

      @@Lana-zy8yl yes absolutely. At least for me it was that. I got cheated on and I was like “now it’s normal to be angry”

  • @lafabricadebodas
    @lafabricadebodas 2 года назад +23

    This is life changing! Thsi is when I think people with toxic positivity have something very wrong going on!

    • @NeonCicada
      @NeonCicada 2 года назад +3

      They're emotionally repressed as well. The only difference is they explode with positivity to mask their repressed feelings, instead of using anger. They both serve the same function of hiding "negative" feelings like vulnerability, shame, envy, sadness etc. by overwhelming those experiences with exaggerated secondary emotions. Our brain's survival strategy is to create the sensation of being powerful in those moments when something had made us feel less powerful. The self-protective part of the brain can't accept allowing us to feel less powerful because whatever made us feel that way could be a threat.
      _Toxic positively is the passive aggressive response_
      _Anger and rage are the active aggressive response_

  • @claudiacameras
    @claudiacameras 2 года назад +41

    I soo needed to hear this. This is exactly how I feel about my anger. I feel like I'm a bad person for feeling angry. But it is actually the way my body tells me something is off and I need to make a decision to protect myself✨. MedCircle never disappoints. Love from Mexico.💓

    • @MedCircle
      @MedCircle  2 года назад +2

      Thanks for supporting mental health education and we're glad this was helpful!

  • @bee4123
    @bee4123 2 года назад +11

    i distanced myself from anger for so long i reached this point in my life where i couldnt feel anger at all. even when i knew i should, i just felt empty and hopeless. finally i am doing my best to connect to all of my feelings and i can feel anger again. its a learning process to make sure i dont take this anger out on anyone and also see how anger can be a great motivator to get me to change things for myself.

  • @leannefardone
    @leannefardone 2 года назад +15

    This is the best way I've heard this articulated, thank you

    • @MedCircle
      @MedCircle  2 года назад +2

      We're glad it was helpful!

  • @haileywatson5822
    @haileywatson5822 2 года назад +11

    I’ve already watched this at least four times. I really appreciate the message you’re sharing. I experienced abuse as a child and the only support I got was “forgive them so you feel better” (meanwhile the person was still a prominent person in the household. Basically everyone else forgave him so you need to too so we don’t have to feel guilty for not caring) and that experience has fostered so much deeply rooted anger that I’ve resented about myself. I’ve felt I needed to feel differently to gain the support I needed. But in reality my anger has been the only thing to protect me. I only spoke up about my experience and made it come to an end due to speaking out of anger. I only distanced myself from my abuser and his enablers due to my anger! I am grateful for my anger being the only one there to show me that what I was experience wasn’t okay. And that revelation and feeling of gratitude has a lot to due with this video.

  • @CrimsonVioletMoon
    @CrimsonVioletMoon 2 года назад +29

    Sound advice. The problem is when you’re chronically disregulated and your emotions are no longer accurate indicators of anything legitimately happening in your environment.

    • @Me-An-88
      @Me-An-88 2 года назад +2

      Yep, this is exactly my problem, too. I simply can not trust my emotions.

    • @CrimsonVioletMoon
      @CrimsonVioletMoon 2 года назад

      @@Me-An-88 BPD’s a bitch.

    • @kellyleighread807
      @kellyleighread807 2 года назад +1

      I find the feeling of anger when I realized how cruel the ex husband was in the violent discard. Mostly because of the lies that ex husband spoke concerning the future. All those year's he KNEW he was lying. Hateful, mean & so cruel.

  • @curiousnita
    @curiousnita 2 года назад +3

    So true it took me a traumatic event to understand that i should stop suppressing anger 🙏 I always felt that anger is bad emotion because of the violent actions that followed 💔 thanks for addressing this

  • @craigmerkey8518
    @craigmerkey8518 2 года назад +10

    In my primary environment acting "nice" was valued, even if part of this component was blatant lying. It was labeled is being polite. However real feelings leaked out everywhere as smoldering passive aggression and gossip. Unfortunately within the faux niceness and politeness the real consequences were not learning to understand and explore feelings. To me there appear to be a lot of hollow shells drifting around seeking validation outside of themselvs due to a lifetime of negatively impacted emotional awareness and maturity. Even the youngest members of the family recognize an want to avoid the mismatched presentation and appropriate responses.

  • @redrum3835
    @redrum3835 2 года назад +7

    I totally needed to hear this.

  • @missdee3787
    @missdee3787 2 года назад +10

    I can’t wait to watch this recently I’ve been thinking how anger is a really low vibration and to not be angry when it’s simply a reaction that is needed

    • @Dev-kz1gf
      @Dev-kz1gf 2 года назад

      Psychologist and therapist can also be bad people. They too can be manipulative, liars and fake. They too can manipulate fake information that’s not real. They make everything that’s human nature a disorder in order to lure others into seeing a therapist in order to gain more money for the business. Not only are they liars and bad people but they aren’t as smart as you might think. People too can make up fake problems, fake emotions and put on a fake act and pretend to be stupid/retarded or any negative emotion and thus making the therapist believe everything that’s thrown at them. Even negative emotions can be masked and fake. Don’t be so naive to believe everything that’s thrown at you especially from someone you don’t talk too or know just but hear things about.

  • @annaann2910
    @annaann2910 2 года назад +5

    Great & so helpful explanation!
    Thank you💚

  • @cara0405
    @cara0405 2 года назад +6

    It seems it can be more of a tool or devise we can utilize as a sensor or compass, in navigating our life for betterment. So powerful.
    Side note, it reminds you of the scene in Pretty Woman, where Richard Gere's character talks about paying a lot of money and many years in therapy to be able to actually verbalize he "was very angry" with a particular individual. Makes sense now.

  • @DipDuckDive
    @DipDuckDive 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you so much for this.
    Anger is a masked fear. It can tell us so much if we can separate the emotional impact, we can recognize the fear. When I know which fear I’m working with, I become useful and effective.

  • @ecohumanism
    @ecohumanism 2 года назад +2

    I know when i am angry, and i know what makes me angry, even if it sounds a bit self-confident. And if i can speak about the causes of my feelings - it eases my emotional tension, when somebody can listen and understand me. Also sometimes you just have to re-evaluate the situation and don't mind some event, like when you're driving. I am not sure what it means to be emotionally repressed, but i feel that some people would mix it with not confronting aggressively.

  • @scarletXlune
    @scarletXlune 2 года назад +12

    I’m very familiar with not just anger but pure rage . If I didn’t make the decisions in that intense moment , I’m sure I’d be in a facility rn and my emotional life would be more hell than it is. Anger is a POISON! Feel it but don’t let it manifest and then let it go.

    • @rongike
      @rongike 2 года назад +5

      yeah, many people hold onto it like they can't act without anger fueling them, and anger usually doesn't lead to the best decisions. it's when you observe the anger and analyze what's really the cause and then act afterwards that leads to good things.

  • @NeonCicada
    @NeonCicada 2 года назад +2

    *Something that would REALLY help reduce the violence in America*
    Make things like this a weekly segment on our local/national news broadcasts.
    _Those small discussions could help save lives and prevent abuse and assaults._

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito 2 года назад +3

    Thank you for sharing. I'm going to enjoy the gift you mentioned.

  • @sashapollard92
    @sashapollard92 2 года назад +5

    I just got angry with a guy that I have been talking to. I got mad because I asked for $50 and he asked if I was going to pay him back. I got mad. I was but i feel like that was unnecessary and i went into a rant and told him how i really felt about the abortion that I had. And said some other things about him using his privates to make babies and not take care of them. Now i'm blocked. I was angry and angry at him for not being there when I needed him the most.

    • @JillofAllTrades2
      @JillofAllTrades2 2 года назад +3

      Soon he and the experience will be in the rearview mirror. Imagine being in a longterm relationship with that?! Ugh. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  • @DulceN
    @DulceN 2 месяца назад

    I’m a Spaniard, I am temperamental and get angry when I encounter too much stress or nonsense in my life. I’m 63 and my capacity for anger is keeping my BP low because I am able to express my emotions by talking to others and making something creative with my hands (I have many hobbies), thus releasing the stress. It’s highly therapeutic and I recommend it.

  • @lordfuzi7168
    @lordfuzi7168 2 года назад +3

    Subhan allah for this amazing system

  • @emilygibbons3433
    @emilygibbons3433 2 года назад +1

    Thank you, this information is positive and helpful.

  • @danielread5854
    @danielread5854 Год назад

    "Somebody's coming at me...I do need to punch them!" Exactly! Anger has its uses, that can be perfectly rational and appropriate,, depending on the context. I grew up in a VERY emotionally repressed household, where guilt was smothering and persistent and I was essentially shamed whenever I objected to things that were MOST CERTAINLY unjust, unkind, abusive etc. As a result I notice now, at 39 years of age, whenever I get angry (which is often) I feel an immediate sense of shame and sadness along with it, like there's something terribly wrong with me just for experiencing it. Time for that change.

  • @stephenwarmack8839
    @stephenwarmack8839 2 года назад +8

    Anger gives you focus, don't underestimate the dark side

  • @240Sealab
    @240Sealab 2 года назад +6

    I have PTSD and i get angry and yell
    I feel bad because it’s a sin called pride arrogance and idolatry
    I am ready the Bible daily recently and my mind what im thinking about, The Holy Spirit tells me to stop the thoughts are from the devil whispering lies or makes u go back to the past…
    I know i have more to go but,
    Jesus Saves
    Jesus loves you
    God Bless you all!
    🕊🎚👑♾️

  • @TiaraHelen
    @TiaraHelen 2 года назад +1

    Excellent message, thank you. I often make this distinction with my clients (between feeling anger and acting it out aggressively). I just listened : I couldn't watch it because of the way the image kept cutting and jumping about.

  • @cutejennya
    @cutejennya 2 года назад +1

    This really helps me. Thanks for sharing!

  • @williamhartwig4194
    @williamhartwig4194 2 года назад +1

    I never thought of anger in that light

  • @RatusMax
    @RatusMax Год назад

    I don't get angry much anymore. Well, in the sense of outbursts. I feel something but when I stop to think about it, I usually know why I am feeling the way I am. When someone else is outwardly angry I don't engage with them.

  • @msms4659
    @msms4659 2 года назад +2

    When that close family member continues to cross those boundary lines no matter HOW many times you tell them....yah.

  • @dna33
    @dna33 2 года назад

    Thank you Kristy for this information. I miss the insights learned at BOLD, forever grateful.

  • @vksomji
    @vksomji 2 года назад +2

    Thanks Doctor,
    I want to know
    How do I Control Anger
    1. If I have Triggered Tourette Syndrome and I am Provoked Intentionally just for "Entertainment" or for "LOL" by people who are aware of my Weakness.
    2. I am Anguish due to Auditory Hallucinations.
    3. How do I Control Anger
    - Despite of Cutting Off the Conversation with People who Provoke me to be Angry
    - Despite of Ignoring the People who Provoke me to be Angry.
    - Despite of Conveying upfront to everyone that "Hey I have Triggered Tourette Syndrome or I have Temple Stress because of Heated Conversation,due to my Mental Disorders or Pyschological History so will you Stop Provoking me'', yet I as the Affected person is Provoked again & again Intentionally for "Entertainment or for LOL" by Family Members or Person with whom I am Dwelling with and who are aware of my Mental Problems.
    4. How do I Control my Anger, despite of me Conveying Clearly to Provoking person that "Hey why Don't you Respect my Orbit, considering Each of us are provided with an Invisible Orbit in the Space we are Dwelling in".
    Even Planets respect each others Orbit & Keep revolving 💞 within their Orbit (Limit) Peacefully in the Space provided by the Cosmic Energy....(Pls exclude the Moon 🌝🌚 due to Eclipse... 🙄😳) & Even the Owl 🦉 Checks with through "Woo Hoo" before claiming a Place for being Awake or Nesting on a Tree the Entire Night.
    Now I can't Live like a "Sage" spending my Entire Life in a "Cave, Secluded & Isolated from such Provoking People"
    Thanks
    Vaishali Somji

    • @caritoarias64
      @caritoarias64 2 года назад +1

      A person recommended me to get a punching bag. It works for me

    • @vksomji
      @vksomji 2 года назад

      @@caritoarias64 I Listen to Music.🌝

  • @dacanation12
    @dacanation12 2 года назад +1

    I was never able to express my anger to my dad until one day I just couldn't take it anymore and talked back to him

  • @thescowlingschnauzer
    @thescowlingschnauzer 2 года назад +1

    My two year-old shrieks. I'm trying to figure out how to get him to express himself in a less disruptive way. It's tricky because when I was a kid (I can only remember back to 5 or so) I was told "Control your temper", which which mostly just made me feel angrier.

  • @caleuxx9108
    @caleuxx9108 2 года назад +1

    The function of anger. Yes. Now, what happens when the environment in which we find ourselves does not allow for boundries, saying no, saying that hurts, no respect for our feeling and individual needs....? When growing up in dysfunctional families? (my father is a covert narcissist, mother schizofrenic). .... But even in some adult situations (toxic job, toxic church) people can be pushed to repress their healthy anger. -- Over time, what happens to that anger that is not allowed to be used properly? And how to fix the accumulated anger problem when a person finally figures it out at 25/30/35/40/45 or even at 65 years old....? Can EMDR help?

  • @shahrock6969
    @shahrock6969 2 года назад +1

    Im get angry in vicinity of my mum, she's dismissive and condescending. If I hold it inside, I get depressed 😭

  • @livefreeordie5534
    @livefreeordie5534 2 года назад +1

    I got angry at the Liberty Mutual Insurance Company commercial at the beginning of this video. I shouted stfu ! and turned down the volume. That's a gift because now I'll save a bundle by not switching to Liberty Mutual.🤣

  • @bladeriders
    @bladeriders 2 года назад +1

    As yes. Must be great for those who repress their emotions to hold down those that show theirs. :/

  • @tdmmnrdrk2830
    @tdmmnrdrk2830 2 года назад +2

    It was never gift for me. After letting the anger out I have always felt sick, weak. Even though I was right I have lost all respect in the discussions. The best way is for me before reaching this far, getting aware that it is coming and learn how to stop it such as leaving the place or avoiding the association or totally ignoring it. Anger causes fights.. Anger causes misunderstandings and it is never about the other party, it is about ourselves. The best of the rest is, never get too close to the people who are naturally mean, rude with no emphaty. Thanks

    • @tiffbrown3782
      @tiffbrown3782 2 года назад +1

      .....this resonates with me so deeply. I got too close to someone who is NATURALLY mean, distant and aloof.

  • @macp349
    @macp349 2 года назад +1

    Whoa, this title was almost triggering (but I think I realized or knew it wasn't meant to be). I think if I'm being honest, for the longest, I was afraid of my anger and envious of those who could utilize theirs to get what they wanted.

  • @hgbuckwheat660
    @hgbuckwheat660 2 года назад +3

    I’m angry all the time. Am I a superhero like the hulk? Basically your saying be more assertive which can be a good thing. However, being frustrated or “angry” is different than irrational rage. Healthy venting is the best practice the (less violent the better) peaceful music, walks etc, and just time away from the situation are your best friends. BPD

  • @courtneyboudreau4284
    @courtneyboudreau4284 2 года назад +7

    I need justification for anger 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have many gifts but I'm not sure anger is one LMAO

  • @nicloh7966
    @nicloh7966 2 года назад +1

    So what you are saying is uncontrolled outburst of anger is detrimental to ourselves right?

  • @IsraaSElsakka
    @IsraaSElsakka 2 года назад

    Me as an adult in my early thirties, starting to accept my anger. I repressed it for so long, because as a child I only saw angry people who were out of control. I don’t know how to deal with it, in a healthy way.

  • @thenightlionakatlion2905
    @thenightlionakatlion2905 Год назад

    Anger and Rage is more powerful then love itself.

  • @buffer1954
    @buffer1954 2 года назад +1

    Could ya’ tell my hubby and kids?🤣

  • @EVEspinosa79
    @EVEspinosa79 2 года назад +1

    I knew it! I am a gifted child! 😅🤣😂

  • @gloriawatkins5513
    @gloriawatkins5513 2 года назад

    Yes I believe it's either good to do shores activities or talk to the reason why your like that especially if living in apts people are so. Many personalities mindfulness key here good topic enjoyed your show

  • @vickiivins3288
    @vickiivins3288 2 года назад

    Thank you.

  • @pnwlady
    @pnwlady 2 года назад

    People DO NOT stop at feeling the anger. That’s why it has a bad wrap. Most people act out it unhealthy ways when angry.

  • @touchheartyoga
    @touchheartyoga 2 года назад

    It would have been nice to site some research, but a reasonable preface. Thank you

  • @dailydoseofmedicinee
    @dailydoseofmedicinee 2 года назад +1

    💯

  • @jnice6263
    @jnice6263 2 года назад +1

    No you never hold your anger in.

  • @nicolaseinhorn4540
    @nicolaseinhorn4540 2 года назад

    This is MF brillant ! Bravo.

  • @moniquekruissen3827
    @moniquekruissen3827 2 года назад

    Why can i not find a therapist here that understands this sort of things and can help me with this.....

  • @brightphoebesays
    @brightphoebesays 2 года назад

    Rah! Yay! : )

  • @WeComingToGetYouBarbara
    @WeComingToGetYouBarbara 2 года назад +2

    My complex ptsd kicks in with anxiety when I get angry.. so I never put myself in a situation where I know I could get angry but I just angry to feel angry.. I was raised to to never be angry but it’s ok for my parents to be angry . We had kids should Never get angry ..: 🙄

  • @suhelavaneerten419
    @suhelavaneerten419 2 года назад +1

    ❤️ 🔥🔥🔥

  • @LightintheDark2056
    @LightintheDark2056 2 года назад

    👍❤️

  • @BoBo-pe3kv
    @BoBo-pe3kv 2 года назад

    Yeah, but having anger because of someone else, that has an undiagnosed mental disorder…. Can be counterproductive as well!)

  • @ThesySurface
    @ThesySurface 2 года назад

    You know what else is a gift. Pure and utter revenge ;) #2022

  • @RKO1988
    @RKO1988 2 года назад

    Rage Against the Machine

  • @slumber.prince937
    @slumber.prince937 2 года назад

    When is it a problem when directed at us. My wife's father randomly get angry about her mild leftist views

  • @aprilyoung3903
    @aprilyoung3903 2 года назад +2

    Anger is a demon

    • @aprilyoung3903
      @aprilyoung3903 2 года назад

      .not a gift

    • @ecohumanism
      @ecohumanism 2 года назад

      This demon is a part of us, we just have to exercise some control over it to make it a gift. I suppose that most bad deeds in this world were made without this brief emotional state.

  • @sneakerbabeful
    @sneakerbabeful 2 года назад

    That doesn't help if we're angry all the time.

  • @aprilyoung3903
    @aprilyoung3903 2 года назад +1

    Anger is a demon