hi Ana boy do I know where you are coming from. I consider myself my best friend. I spent 35 yrs looking after people in long term care and 10 yrs looking after my elderly parents. Now it’s my turn to look after me .I had three female friends that did nothing but take advantage of me for yrs at the end of last yr. I finally told them I had had enough .Not to contact me anymore. I was really hard and I had wanted to do it for years I finally worked up the courage to do it .I feel a lot better now .I don’t want any friends I have my hobbies and fur babies and I’m very content now
Recently I have been working on developing a friendship with myself. I realised that I treat myself very badly, very critically, and really this is a destructive way of living. So now I practice being kind and encouraging to myself. Thank you for your thoughtful video, which I found very supportive.
A very important and difficult topic Ana. I've always been interested in people who seek out and thrive in relative solitude. Two individuals who I admire and aspire to are Sister Wendy Beckett and Dick Proenneke. Both are well documented on the internet. My own struggle to accept and embrace my failings and successes has been really challenging, but I can say (with some relief) that it has gotten easier as I've aged. The voice of the inner critic has softened somewhat. There is a wonderful poem by Derek Walcott titled Wild Geese that I really like. The final few lines are - "Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting, over and over announcing your place in the family of things."
Very profound. Yes I am my best friend. Took me many years to understand and have a relationship with myself. Love the challenges. Love my own company and advice that I received. Thank you for sharing. Love 💗only love 💗
I try to be kind and friendly to all ppl, but I don’t expect anyone to reach out to me in friendship. I feel like it is so much work to maintain relationships I don’t understand. I am married, 35 years, and that is hard enough. I’m kind of quirky, but I’ve learned how to embrace me, and I’m learning to love my individuality.
Love your content! Thank you Ana :) And, I have now only one "friend" and I am happy with that. She listens, Is not judgemental, do not like gossip...well, she Is so stable (I am not stable jaja) and feel a great support on her. It Is interesting what you are talking here ..would I be my Best friend? I am an introvert And mostly a loner...And think I am a good friend..helper, empathetic, not judgemental (that Is what I consider part of good points but, may differ among people)...but, with myself, I can be cruel sometimes. I do not give myself what I give/offer to others. On the other side, sometimes I just can not believe that others "enjoy" to be with me...since many years I was "labeled" as boring according the social expectations. Lastly, we need to accept ourselves, And not try to changed our essence. And be patient ,since outhere (even If we do not believe that) someone else wiill be enjoying to be our friend .. If we try to change the essential, both us and the other people "Will feel" that lie...And won't be genuine or enjoyable for anyone.
What a thoughtful, deep observation! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts 💜 And I feel that many of us "do not give ourselves what we give/offer to others". Such a great point!
Thank you for this very clever question that I never asked myself. To be honest, I don't think I would. Love your channel, inspiring and thought provoking. Plus, makes me feel warm inside 🙏
You are one of my best friends for sure. There is so much I don’t yet know about you but I want to. Learning that friendships also go through phases have made it way easier for me to not overthink in relationships❤
I have heard the phrase "Love Yourself" many times but being best friend of self is such a nice way of thinking. Why don't we become the person we want our friends to be like. Thank you for this video, Ana!
Ana what a wonderful topic really interesting. I would definitely befriend myself & I have said goodbye to people who have taken advantage of me or not respected me- I think it’s age related too as I am middle 60’s & I will no longer tolerate inconsideration from others. Lol ❤
Ana, this is such a beautiful video about the friendship with ourselves. ❤ Personally, I would befriend myself any time, though I do lack some respect. For example, I get more easily tired than I would wish to and often just overrun it, which just makes me feel worse for a longer time. If a friend made me stay up when I'm so tired, I would not continue the friendship. Just recently, I decided to sleep when my body yearns to rest and don't care about the time of the day.
I'm so glad the video resonated with you, Christiane! 💜 This is such a wonderful practice that you've mentioned - giving yourself time to rest as much as you want. I need to follow it too 😊
I have been thinking about this so much lately. Life is really hard right now and I know I need to learn to love myself better so get through it. Thank you so much for this video!
This was wonderful, Ana, because it happened to address where I am right now with myself! As I get older, I find that I would like to have myself as a friend a lot more than when I was young. Thank you for sharing, and reminding us of this. I had another friend who said he sometimes hugged himself too, and I have tried it! ☺ You can even be your own loving parent when that's what you need, talking to yourself reassuringly. Thanks so much,Ana! 💖🌺
I would, because I like people who are introspective and just say whatever. lol So, I do get why others don’t like me. I also annoy myself sometimes. Looking forward to trying this system.
the older people - above all, women, men stay available outside the home - get, the more focussed on children and grandchildren and family they become, until if you're sixty up, you can't expect anyone to really be available at all
You know... every time I've stopped being friends with someone and later reconnected with them, all it did was remind me of why I stopped talking to them in the first place. So I think you're right to walk away and never look back. It's not harsh. It's just knowing what's best for you.
I think I would befriend me. More now than when I was younger. I have aged well. I do have a few other good friends, and I value them immensely. I just left my friends in the desert and I miss them. But we stay in touch via text. I have found I am also more picky as I age. I want my friends to have more depth, to see beyond themselves and have empathy for other people in the world. I want my friends to care about the environment. And yes, those things matter in my life. Oh before I forget: being average is just fine. Not everyone can be bright or creative or skilled. Maybe you were a C student and work in the supermarket and spend your free time watching TV. None of that means you aren’t special. Maybe you are the clerk who makes everyone smile, or maybe you are just very kind. Everyone can be special in their lives, to themselves and others.😢 Thank you for the thought provoking content Ana. Much love to you and Brian.
My younger son once told me to quit putting myself down because I wasn't the person I was portraying to myself. I pondered that a lot because I thought I was just being honest with myself. I finally agreed, not because I believed him, but because I didn't want to cause contention. After he died, I found myself contemplating that often. What did he see that I was missing? I learned that I have much to offer. To myself as well as others. I have always been very good at "collecting" friends. And from all walks of life. My son's very observant comment changed my outlook and my trajectory. And yes. I would seek out my own friendship. In a heartbeat. Because I already have. Thank you for a very observant commentary! Much to ponder. And much love being sent your way!
You can't respect yourself unless you understand why and where your disrespect came from. For most of us this disrespect for ourselves comes from childhood trauma. The only way to put this right and learn to love ourselves is through shadow work which involves forgiving our inner child and those who traumatised us. The reason most of us don't look after our bodies is because we eat emotionally. Eating is no longer a nessecity it's often a momentary pleasurable 'fix'. Carbs, sugar and salt are like any addictive drug. I kid you not, look at the statistics for sugar related deaths, they far out number the deaths from narcotics! Self comparison is something we paticularly in the West have been conditioned into thinking. Its roots are in advertising. Women are paticularly vulnerable to this. One way to stop this indoctrination is to make a consiouse effort to stop looking at advertisements. To challenge your own thoughts and "step back" requires you to become the witness. To become the witness requires mindfulness through meditation. I think what you're saying is all well and good but it's only through serious practiced techniques that we can truly find a path to change and happiness. Is Just telling ourselves that we can be our best friend really going to change childhood trauma and decades of social conditioning?
I have definitely become my own best friend. The voice of self criticism has mostly been displaced by one of kindness and compassion. My age might have something to do with it, but I believe we can become our own best friend at any point in life. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully escape comparing myself to others, but mostly I look back and see how far I’ve come from the person I used to be. Thanks for sharing, Ana.
I do challenge my thoughts. The world has filled our heads with so many ideas that just aren’t true. Any time I find myself making assumptions I know that it is something that needs to be examined.
The first 1,000 people to use the link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/anagoldberg04231
hi Ana boy do I know where you are coming from. I consider myself my best friend. I spent 35 yrs looking after people in long term care and 10 yrs looking after my elderly parents. Now it’s my turn to look after me .I had three female friends that did nothing but take advantage of me for yrs at the end of last yr. I finally told them I had had enough .Not to contact me anymore. I was really hard and I had wanted to do it for years I finally worked up the courage to do it .I feel a lot better now .I don’t want any friends I have my hobbies and fur babies and I’m very content now
My experience is almost identical to yours. Life is too short to be miserable. Love the peace that I have.
Hi Shirley! I'm sending you love and best wishes 💙 Many things you've mentioned resonate with me.
Yes I would befriend myself.
Recently I have been working on developing a friendship with myself. I realised that I treat myself very badly, very critically, and really this is a destructive way of living. So now I practice being kind and encouraging to myself.
Thank you for your thoughtful video, which I found very supportive.
Ten years ago I would have said no but over the course of that time I have evolved into becoming my own best friend.
I really appreciate this video. I am just coming out of a serious depressive episode and tools like this are very helpful.
Sending love and support to you, Kathryn 💜
A very important and difficult topic Ana. I've always been interested in people who seek out and thrive in relative solitude. Two individuals who I admire and aspire to are Sister Wendy Beckett and Dick Proenneke. Both are well documented on the internet. My own struggle to accept and embrace my failings and successes has been really challenging, but I can say (with some relief) that it has gotten easier as I've aged. The voice of the inner critic has softened somewhat. There is a wonderful poem by Derek Walcott titled Wild Geese that I really like. The final few lines are - "Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting, over and over announcing your place in the family of things."
These final poetic lines really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing this, Ted! And I will look up the inspiring people that you've mentioned here 🌻
Very profound. Yes I am my best friend. Took me many years to understand and have a relationship with myself. Love the challenges. Love my own company and advice that I received. Thank you for sharing. Love 💗only love 💗
I watch it again. Thank you.
relationship with yourself is most important :)
Tú eres mi amiga..!!
I try to be kind and friendly to all ppl, but I don’t expect anyone to reach out to me in friendship. I feel like it is so much work to maintain relationships I don’t understand. I am married, 35 years, and that is hard enough.
I’m kind of quirky, but I’ve learned how to embrace me, and I’m learning to love my individuality.
Oh this was so valuable. You’re speaking of things that no one speaks of and we should.
Great video, Ana! All too often, people forget the fact that they matter, not just everyone else.
Love your content! Thank you Ana :) And, I have now only one "friend" and I am happy with that. She listens, Is not judgemental, do not like gossip...well, she Is so stable (I am not stable jaja) and feel a great support on her. It Is interesting what you are talking here ..would I be my Best friend? I am an introvert And mostly a loner...And think I am a good friend..helper, empathetic, not judgemental (that Is what I consider part of good points but, may differ among people)...but, with myself, I can be cruel sometimes. I do not give myself what I give/offer to others. On the other side, sometimes I just can not believe that others "enjoy" to be with me...since many years I was "labeled" as boring according the social expectations. Lastly, we need to accept ourselves, And not try to changed our essence. And be patient ,since outhere (even If we do not believe that) someone else wiill be enjoying to be our friend .. If we try to change the essential, both us and the other people "Will feel" that lie...And won't be genuine or enjoyable for anyone.
What a thoughtful, deep observation! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts 💜 And I feel that many of us "do not give ourselves what we give/offer to others". Such a great point!
Thank you for this very clever question that I never asked myself. To be honest, I don't think I would. Love your channel, inspiring and thought provoking. Plus, makes me feel warm inside 🙏
You are one of my best friends for sure. There is so much I don’t yet know about you but I want to.
Learning that friendships also go through phases have made it way easier for me to not overthink in relationships❤
I have heard the phrase "Love Yourself" many times but being best friend of self is such a nice way of thinking. Why don't we become the person we want our friends to be like. Thank you for this video, Ana!
Ana what a wonderful topic really interesting. I would definitely befriend myself & I have said goodbye to people who have taken advantage of me or not respected me- I think it’s age related too as I am middle 60’s & I will no longer tolerate inconsideration from others. Lol ❤
Ana, this is such a beautiful video about the friendship with ourselves. ❤
Personally, I would befriend myself any time, though I do lack some respect. For example, I get more easily tired than I would wish to and often just overrun it, which just makes me feel worse for a longer time. If a friend made me stay up when I'm so tired, I would not continue the friendship. Just recently, I decided to sleep when my body yearns to rest and don't care about the time of the day.
I'm so glad the video resonated with you, Christiane! 💜 This is such a wonderful practice that you've mentioned - giving yourself time to rest as much as you want. I need to follow it too 😊
Thank you Ana, Best wishes.
This video is appearing at a time I really need it. Thank you for sharing Ana.❤
Great video Ana hope you are well
Thank you, Liam!🌷
I love myself, not perfect but God made me in his image. Just be happy you are beautiful and I see no wrinkles.
I have been thinking about this so much lately. Life is really hard right now and I know I need to learn to love myself better so get through it. Thank you so much for this video!
You are amazing! Thank you so much! ♥
Thank you, dear Ana.
You are beautyfull. Inside and out
This was wonderful, Ana, because it happened to address where I am right now with myself! As I get older, I find that I would like to have myself as a friend a lot more than when I was young. Thank you for sharing, and reminding us of this. I had another friend who said he sometimes hugged himself too, and I have tried it! ☺ You can even be your own loving parent when that's what you need, talking to yourself reassuringly. Thanks so much,Ana! 💖🌺
Thank you 🙏
Yes, I think I would... definitely something to think about. ❤
Loved the video, Ana!
I would, because I like people who are introspective and just say whatever. lol So, I do get why others don’t like me. I also annoy myself sometimes. Looking forward to trying this system.
I think a mix of liking who you are and being annoyed with who you are (from time to time 😉) is a healthy one!
Thanks!
Thank you 🌺
❤❤❤❤
😊😊
🍁🍁🍁🍁
no, because i don't make friends
if i had a friend, i'd want someone else with severe mental illness but who knew how to fight it. Nothing else interests me
And they say we are our worst enemy😁
Haha, true 😊
No. I would not.
the older people - above all, women, men stay available outside the home - get, the more focussed on children and grandchildren and family they become, until if you're sixty up, you can't expect anyone to really be available at all
Are you still as worried about nuclear war?
Damn, now i know why i don't have friends lol
You know... every time I've stopped being friends with someone and later reconnected with them, all it did was remind me of why I stopped talking to them in the first place. So I think you're right to walk away and never look back. It's not harsh. It's just knowing what's best for you.
I think I would befriend me. More now than when I was younger. I have aged well. I do have a few other good friends, and I value them immensely. I just left my friends in the desert and I miss them. But we stay in touch via text. I have found I am also more picky as I age. I want my friends to have more depth, to see beyond themselves and have empathy for other people in the world. I want my friends to care about the environment. And yes, those things matter in my life.
Oh before I forget: being average is just fine. Not everyone can be bright or creative or skilled. Maybe you were a C student and work in the supermarket and spend your free time watching TV. None of that means you aren’t special. Maybe you are the clerk who makes everyone smile, or maybe you are just very kind. Everyone can be special in their lives, to themselves and others.😢
Thank you for the thought provoking content Ana. Much love to you and Brian.
I agree with you, Ginger! Everyone can be special in their lives, truly.
Very thought provoking, thank you.
This is a beautiful and thoughtful video! Have a wonderful week Ana!
Hello Ana. I relate to this topic on many levels. At the end of the day the longest relationship is the one with ourselves. Take care 🙏
Hello, Anita! Thank you for your kind support 💙 Much love!
My younger son once told me to quit putting myself down because I wasn't the person I was portraying to myself. I pondered that a lot because I thought I was just being honest with myself. I finally agreed, not because I believed him, but because I didn't want to cause contention.
After he died, I found myself contemplating that often. What did he see that I was missing? I learned that I have much to offer. To myself as well as others.
I have always been very good at "collecting" friends. And from all walks of life. My son's very observant comment changed my outlook and my trajectory.
And yes. I would seek out my own friendship. In a heartbeat. Because I already have.
Thank you for a very observant commentary! Much to ponder. And much love being sent your way!
Oh, Betty, your son's observation was such a beautiful, honest token of love. Thank you for sharing this 💜 Sending lots of love to you, as always.
@@anagoldberg ❤️❤️❤️
As always, your videos are a cut above.
You can't respect yourself unless you understand why and where your disrespect came from. For most of us this disrespect for ourselves comes from childhood trauma. The only way to put this right and learn to love ourselves is through shadow work which involves forgiving our inner child and those who traumatised us.
The reason most of us don't look after our bodies is because we eat emotionally. Eating is no longer a nessecity it's often a momentary pleasurable 'fix'. Carbs, sugar and salt are like any addictive drug. I kid you not, look at the statistics for sugar related deaths, they far out number the deaths from narcotics!
Self comparison is something we paticularly in the West have been conditioned into thinking. Its roots are in advertising. Women are paticularly vulnerable to this. One way to stop this indoctrination is to make a consiouse effort to stop looking at advertisements.
To challenge your own thoughts and "step back" requires you to become the witness. To become the witness requires mindfulness through meditation.
I think what you're saying is all well and good but it's only through serious practiced techniques that we can truly find a path to change and happiness. Is Just telling ourselves that we can be our best friend really going to change childhood trauma and decades of social conditioning?
Thank you! Needed this.
Thank you for this thoughtful and loving video!❤
I just thought today that I wanna have a friend or two, and then your video came up
💚
I needed this. Thank you.
Very interesting and helpful. Thanks Ana
I have definitely become my own best friend. The voice of self criticism has mostly been displaced by one of kindness and compassion. My age might have something to do with it, but I believe we can become our own best friend at any point in life. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully escape comparing myself to others, but mostly I look back and see how far I’ve come from the person I used to be. Thanks for sharing, Ana.
I do challenge my thoughts. The world has filled our heads with so many ideas that just aren’t true. Any time I find myself making assumptions I know that it is something that needs to be examined.
Lots to think about there!