A historical fun fact for that "Purity Groom": The white dress at weddings never stood for purity, it was just a trend created by Queen Victoria. White was a colour only the super-rich wore to showcase their wealth because of how easily it could get dirty, brides usually wore their favourite (sometimes most expensive) dress. A white wedding dress signifying purity is a wives' tale mixed with colour association. Long story short: White Wedding Dresses are just a 200-year-old trend
Yeah, evangelical Christians later made it into a virginity thing, but it only applies to pure, stark white. The vast majority of wedding gowns are technically ivory and approved for us sluts, haha. This dude has no idea what he's talking about. I can't believe they stayed together after he spent the entire first year of their relationship slut shaming her for having one serious boyfriend before him.
For everyone wondering, the red dress bride called off the engagement and dumped that walking red flag. She didn't update the original post, but she posted in an advice subreddit not long after her other post, asking redditors what she should wear on a date, because she hadn't dated in six years. And yes, people said she should wear red on her date.
@@frigginresulrum one of my well now ex friends thinks that way. he thought he was such a catch. i've known him since high school. he's twice divorced, cheated on the first with the 2nd who used him for a green card and she left him for someone else. then after years of being single he met his now ex whom he shares kids with. she was a newly widow with a baby. he really shouldn't have dated her she needed more time but over the years i grew to love her. she's a very awesome woman. he on the other hand is a mamas boy who hasn't worked in 7ish years. they had to move about a year after he got laid off, he was still collecting unemployment because the state offers unemployment for a year if you're in school and complete a degree or certificate. So he had some income, well they had a 5yo and her older son and moved to a very different area which although they could afford didn't have the same jobs he was looking for. he expected with his AA degree to get a job paying $100k+ a year like he was making before but in a totally different field with no experience in it. He has 1 excuse after another for not getting a job. So she's been supporting their family which now includes another child. all of them have autism and the youngest has physical disabilities. she's a year older than my son and didn't walk until recently while my son was walking really early. his girlfriend and I talk often and she was like, i'm happy for you but also a bit jealous because my youngest isn't walking. aww, anyway, she found out that he was using the money he was getting from selling his season tickets to a football team to pay for his credit card but she's the one who paid for the tickets since he no longer has unemployment. he was supposed to sell them and give her the money to cover the cost of the monthly fee and then keep the difference. So she's now in debt and just had enough. She said that she asked him, when are you going to get a job, he said I need time. she said how much time, he said years. It was 6ish years at that point. So she was like, I want to break up. Oh he was also angry that she wouldn't service him if you get what I mean, he has poor hygiene, like won't bathe for 2 weeks easy. i know he's depressed but if you want some, take a friggen shower, brush your teeth and woo her a little. So he called me to tell me that she agreed to have an open relationship because he has needs and she won't fulfill them. he's so gross but he thinks he's a good catch and a nice guy. he's a loyal friend but even then it's only if you go along with his narcissistic ways, if you disagree with him you're the bad guy, so i'm not just friends with her. she's the more reasonable one anyway. he isn't even a good parent, he parents by yelling at the kids from the couch, he never speaks to the son, like how was your day, how was school, just, don't do that, don't touch that, stop doing xyz. and then he wonders why the kid hates him. i told her years ago, you need to talk to him about how he treats your oldest. he seemed to care when he was a baby/toddler but when he reached about 6 he did nothing but yell at him. anyway, he's a "nice guy".
I wore a pure white dress to my first wedding. I was 17 and a virgin. It didnt stop a friend of my husbands family from spreading a rumor at the reception that we 'had to get married'. After many months and no pregnancy, she doubled down and spread the rumor that I had miscarried. Just an all around B-word.
There was nothing about a child marriage. 17 is not a child and she didn’t say she was forced into it. Marrying age was younger in years past as well. Grow up.
I looked in to the “pure” wedding dress debacle and she called off the engagement! 🎉 It’s really sad that 6 years of her life were wasted on this dude but so glad she didn’t go through with the wedding. ❤
Still curious as to why he was so focused on others knowing she wasn't a virgin Was he seriously after 6 years still that upset that he'd only been with her but she had been with one other guy (if so seek therapy because still being insecure someone had a life before you after 6 years means you need it) or did his friends and coworkers just keep calling him a virgin and this was his way of saying "see, we haven't been pure and waiting till marriage, I've been having sex for 6 years"
@Sigma Male why would you be concerned about your wives virg.? That sounds very weird and wrong dude. Also your name: we don't use astrology for insecure straight males on this side of the web, honey.
@Sigma Male Hi, I too am curious about why you're worried about your SO's virginity. Are you a virgin too or are you worried about marrying someone that has an STD or STI? We do have medication that can either completely get rid of the STD or completely suppress it that it's not even traciable on tests. Have a great day!
We can call OP dumb for giving his honest opinion and not realizing wedding dresses aren’t returnable. But when are we going to stop excusing adults who say what they want and then throw a fit when they get it? I too am guilty of wanting my partner to know exactly what I’m thinking, of asking for an opinion when all I really want is a compliment. But it gets to a point where you’re just a grown person setting traps and tests to catch your partner out.
like fr, we are not oracle/mind readers. if someone says no to me, why would i assume that they really meant yes? had an ex who was mad at me bc i hadnt started dinner when he got home (i asked him wia message, he ignored so i just did it on my time) and then he said he didnt want to eat anymore so i put the food on the refrigerator and then he got mad bc i "didnt care about him enough to make him eat" like BRO COME ON. long story short, YES TO WHAT YOU SAID xD
Agree. It was also a red flag to me when OP said it was their first argument, just seems like something you should do before an engagement so you know if your conflict styles mesh.
Are y’all off? How is he in the wrong when he literally just did what she asked? She cannot be mad he doesn’t like the dress when she asked him for his honest opinion and spent 9,000$ of HIS money… not hers, HIS. What she needs to do is grow tf up and stop acting like a child
He LISTENED TO PEOPLE AT WORK???!! AND THERE OPINIONS WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR ?? ANYTHING!.. HE CHOSE TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE HE WOULD NOT PLAN A VACATION ,HE WHO NOT EXPECT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF WHEN
For the guy obsessed with purity: Red is a traditional wedding color in many countries outside of the US. China, India, Taiwan, Korea, Pakistan, Vietnam, Singapore just to name a few. Red wedding colors often represent joy, prosperity, luck, and fertility for the future of the marriage. It's a color to bless the future of the marriage not to represent the "status" of the bride.
Yes, but to him it means his wife is shameless. She can’t enjoy wearing the dress regardless of the positive connotations in other countries when she knows he sees it as a scarlet letter.
@@hotjanuary yeah I disagree with the guy's reasoning because he just wants to change his wife, but I just wanted to point out how even more narrow minded he is because he doesn't realize red wedding dresses are traditional and widely accepted in many cultures.
@@blakelay I agree with you. Also, something to point out just how ignorant he is, white never symbolized purity. Queen Victoria started the white wedding dress trend for two reasons, 1. To revive the lace industry, 2. to show off wealth. Only the rich people could afford to wear white. Working class people would never buy something you can’t wear again. White is very difficult to keep clean and it yellows with age. It was the ultimate symbol of privilege and wealth, to buy a dress you will only wear once. The tradition in the West before that was to just wear your best Church dress (whatever colour you had) to your wedding.
@@hotjanuary Yes! I saw a few people mention this in the comments and I had heard of the history of the white wedding dress in a podcast a few years back! It's fascinating to see how royals and rich people used clothes for such political reasons and how it influenced so much!
@@blakelay yes, it’s also unfortunate that the trend stuck this deep and became some kind of stupid symbol of moral judgment on the bride. I have nothing against white, but I see some Western brides wanted to wear an actual colour (as they felt white wasn’t their style) and their families shamed them for wanting to be “weird” and not follow the white “tradition.” Like, excuse me? What tradition? It was a status symbol, and after the invention of photography, white photographed better as the quality of photography really sucked. People wanted nice wedding photographs. However, we have great cameras nowadays to preserve memories. Wear whatever dress you like. It will photograph just fine. And if any of you bought a white dress you can’t wear again, you can always repurpose it if it’s not too voluminous and if you have a spirit that loves to explore arts and crafts. Dye is your best friend if the material is okay with water. Rit Fabric Dye’s website has colour formulas to get the exact colour you want. And a tailor can shorten it if it’s too long for events you go to.
As a wheelchair user I'm horrified with the ramp situation. I would never ask someone to alter THEIR house to accommodate me as a guest. The fact that she even offered to rent a ramp is so nice and more than I would expect
I’m really glad to be able to see y’all’s thoughts. I was thinking if I was to ever be in a wheelchair I would feel the same way. I’m not in one though so I was hoping I would see someone who knows first hand. I think it depends on personality. The bride to be and some of the bridesmaids seemed snobby and manipulative. Hence why they were trying to rush the wedding before a prenup could be signed. I’m a support staff for individuals with disabilities. And so I was absolutely sickened by what the cousins want to be bride said to her future husbands cousin. The people I support are all so different only one has been in s wheel chair and it happened gradually over time. We had to help hunt down a portable wheelchair ramp for the last apartment he stayed in because you know apartment complex’s are strict especially when it comes to building. I was skeptical of the ramp at first because I had at that point in my life never been around a portable wheelchair ramp but it’s soooo freaking cool that they have them and are coming up with more and more tools to make peoples lives better. I wish the best of luck and happiness to y’all. Keep on being the amazing people you are!! 😊
The fact that they don’t like the ramp and saying that they deserve better is the worst part for me, sure it is only a temporary ramp, but if it does the job then what’s the problem? You’ll be on it for all of a few seconds, if it is such an eyesore then they can take it away once the wheelchair is up. Does this wheelchair user expect every building she wants to go into to to be altered with ramps that are to the standard she “deserves”?
Amen to that! As someone who also uses a wheelchair was so disgusted by the entitlement of this bridesmaid. let alone the couple. I can't get into a lot of places but I would never be so entitled to say that a detachable ramp isn't up to my standards and what I feel I deserve. And if someone offered to rent a ramp for accommodations for me I would at least offer to pay! This one really ticked me off and when I heard the headline I seriously thought I would be mad at OP. Boy was I wrong.
With the first couple, my biggest concern would be her choice to handle conflict by packing up, going to her mother's and blocking his phone. Whether or not she truly wanted an honest answer is beside the point. There will be many more disagreement in the future, they've got to learn to communicate if they hope to make it work.
Nah, distance is good. Taking time to yourself to process feelings by yourself is great! Because sometimes the alternative here is that they do a screaming fest about the dress where both sides end up crying and call off the wedding over every big and little thing when it could be talked about to come to a decision together. So, sometimes time and space is good in order to properly communicate. You know?
@@scarlet16moons5 I agree that distance is good but storming off and blocking him is just immature. She should've just told him that she needs some alone time to process her thoughts and emotions. What would happen if in the future, they get into another argument and something happens and he needs to get ahold of her? Especially if they are having children in the future and sleep deprivation mixes with all the torment of taking care of a little human.
To me it just sounds like she wasn't sure about her choice and just impulse bought the dress and got a bit of a reality check after his answer. Doesn't mean it was good of him to say he completely didn't like the dress, but she probably just wanted him to reassure her and got disappointed.
I will say I hate the expectation that if I ask my fiancé for his honest opinion he needs to lie to me to spare my feelings like a child. If I ask for an opinion I want an honest opinion. If I want a compliment I’ll ask something like “doesn’t it make me look pretty?” He definitely didn’t need to go in depth like that it it was definitely harsh but her reaction was a lot. He should’ve just said the style isn’t his favorite but you look as beautiful as always and I’m happy you’re happy.
I’m autistic and I have fallen victim to the “I want your honest opinion” several times. This is something that really grinds my gears. If you genuinely want to hear someone’s opinion, then you need to accept that the opinion might be different to your own. Don’t ask questions where you might not like the answer! If just want validation for your own choice, then own it!
Same, I have a touch of the ’tism. I made that mistake once and never again! Any time anyone asks for my honest opinion I have to logic my way through the situation (disregarding the fact that they said they want my honest opinion) It got so tiring that now I automatically go for a comment sandwich and try to keep the critique to something they can fix or change. I think that the compliment sandwich technique really helps others realize that I’m not trying to hurt them or insult them but that I do care and am trying to help! Edit: punctuation
I definitely agree 💯 Even though I don't think I'm autistic. I am going to tell anyone that asks my opinion the honest truth and why. I expect the same. When asking my husband for the truth. I tell him give me the brutal truth and thank him for it. Communication is key 🔑 💜
Can we just appreciate OP’s future MIL for calling her own son out in the last post? Like that’s definitely a mother’s “I know I raised you better than that, so I think the fuck not, sir” energy right there. And👏 we👏 love 👏 it👏👏👏👏
@@duckeh1952 that wasn't OP's MIL, it was OP's aunt. So Still aunt. I was kinda surprised she called OP sister, but I guess this is how close these cousins are actually.
That last story had an update. Two weeks later she made a post asking what should i wear on my first date after 6 years. So she broke it off, moved on, and got herself a date 2 weeks later. The writing must've been on the wall long before the white dress comment.
I’m in the minority but I am a FIRM believer in “don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.” She was warned, she insisted on his opinion, she got what she asked for.
@@arianebolt1575 The money is NOT the issue. The thing is, you can buy one dress. The price clearly is NOT an issue. If you don't have money for a dress, why have a wedding? Bro, just elope if you ain't got money. The issue is that she either has to wear a dress her future husband dislikes or she has to buy new one and the expensive one will go to waste.
The last story reminded me of my step mother complaining that I was going to where white on my wedding when she was convinced I was having sex before marriage and was so upset about it that she refused to come and threatened to kick my father out if he attended (he literally showed up as I was getting ready to walk down to the wedding march.) Funny thing is, wasn't wearing white but Ivory because I wanted it to look vintage and aged. However it made me mad that this woman was married three times, cheated on every husband including my dad, and STILL wore white to every wedding she had.
I’ve heard that first one before, and this is my take: The fiancé was super duper smart for asking if she wanted a real opinion and critique, or if she was just excited and wanted him to say he loves it. He clearly understands that sometimes when people ask what you think they’re really just looking for affirmation so kudos to him for that. She told him she wanted a critical opinion, not affirmation, so it’s really not fair for her to then get upset when that’s exactly what he gives her. Had he not clarified what she wanted before she tried it on then I could get behind the “dude, she clearly just wants you to tell her how beautiful she is” thought, but he specifically made sure he wasn’t making that mistake. At a certain point she has to be a grown up; she asked for a totally honest critique, and he gave one, he can’t be called a crap bad for not sharing her opinion.
Yepp, I don't think it's right to call him stupid. He wasn't. He's also not the one who should appologize, she should be the one to do that and if she doesn’t I think he should really consider calling the whole thing off if he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life living with an entitled brat and a whole lot of misscommunication and drama
Exactly ! He was not the stupid one, and for Charlotte to also say he is shows she supports manipulative behavior. Be a grown up, be an adult. If you want affirmation, you do not ask for an opinion. Tell me you’re manipulative without telling me you’re manipulative. The bride should never have anyone! The groom is not wrong nor an idiot. In fact, he’s more rational then even Charlotte. Says enough. Yep, she’s got a potato brain for sure. If you ask for an opinion when you just want to feel good, you need to close your mouth back and do some rethinking and learning some life lessons. Affirmation or good comments does not mean automatically ask for an opinion. It shouldn’t even be considered if someone asks an opinion, what are they really asking. If anyone gets mad after asking for an opinion, even at a funeral, then you are the one in full wrong! Nobody else. Reading a Webster dictionary isn’t hard folks, opinion does not mean compliment! Reality and logic!
He clearly said he thinks she looks pretty in almost everything. He was obviously listening to her and knew her vision for what she wanted for the wedding. All he was pointing out was that the dress she picked took away from the beauty he knew she could be and that the style was very different from everything she said she originally wanted. From this she decides to act like a child.. run away and BLOCK him- She asked him to be honest and then punished him for it… yeah… real mature on her part. He has nothing to apologize for. SHE has a few different things to say sorry for though.
@@SeriousSara1 this this this. If you know you love something don’t go looking for other peoples opinions because they might not agree with you! And he gave her an out too, he said he would give her affirmation if that’s what she wanted and then she SPECIFICALLY said she wanted a critique. This “oh foolish man you should know that women don’t really mean what they say” mentality is such a sexist, archaic way of thinking and I was honestly super surprised to see Charlotte having that take
The story about the person with autism is the first story I’ve heard where the family is actually supportive of the OP and I’m really happy about it. Like most of these stories, OP is the one that treated like crap by their family for not agreeing to whatever the toxic family member ask for or toxic person asked for and I’m so glad it ended well for them
Last guy is so misinformed on the color virginity thing anyways, like pure white is the color that virgins wear when you’re not a virgin it’s an off-white color what an idiot he’s definitely holding against her what happened in her past and he needs to shut up and sit down, and she definitely should not marry him
@@gabriellacorrea5846 I hope she doesn’t. And his statement on the red wedding dress becomes invalid when you look into red wedding dress in other cultures. Red is considered a lucky colour for China. I know it is not valid here, but it’s just something that I am aware of.
Yesss. I'm autistic. I love to see it. What the fiancee was really saying was "I'm doing you a favor treating you with basic human decency, because it's more than you deserve." What a callous, ableist woman. And then the sheer audacity of saying the autistic woman is the ableist one 🤮
The red dress story raises a forest of red flags redder than the dress Ryan wants her to wear. 1 if his colleagues at work said she should wear red, does that mean that Ryan was discussing OP's virginity with his fellow workers?! 😱 2 he thinks that she should wear red so as not to "deceive his guests" but that it's okay for him to deceive them? Double standards, oh please! If I was his mother I'd die of shame having raised a son so exist. Run, girl run, raise the white flag.
I think the worst part of the first story was that the bride spent 9k on a gown on HIS credit card without having mentioned anything about it. No matter how wealthy you are, as part of a couple if you're going to drop nearly ten thousand dollars it's probably a good idea to at least let your partner know. Especially on a single wear dress. That paired with her running away and blocking the guy just smacks of immaturity and communication issues.
Idk...it sounds like she was given that leeway, though that's a very high price. I am the sort of person who brags that there were TWO sales...my dress was from last season and the who store had a 20% off sale! 🎉 And I was also certain that I would like this one dress, but it looked awful on me. Sometimes that happened.
Exactly!! I don't care what the situation was...I would NEVER spend that much money ( mine or his) without keeping him completely in the loop. That's ridiculous.
to the woman with the red dress story! my mother always said "no one is born the minute you meet them" so to be mad at someone for things they did in their past when they didn't even know you is ridiculous we all have history and part of loving someone is accepting them as they are when they come into your life.
The last guy needs to realize that, these days, the chances of a woman in a white wedding dress being a virgin are very small. And most people know that. There is no deceit going on whatsoever. I can understang some people valuing virginity in a future spouse. But he already decided to marry her, so he should get over it already. If it was really such a problem for him, why would he even ask to marry her in the first place? (Also side note: For any men who need to hear this, if you expect a chaste woman, you better be chaste yourself. No, it's not "different for men". Chaste women want a chaste man. If you won't be chaste, then chaste women won't want you. Just saying.)
People should also know that white dress=virgin is a myth and was never the intention of a white dress. It's from Queen Victoria's wedding, and the white and lace is just a flex about having a super expensive dress you can only wear once, because at the time it was almost impossible to return whites to their whitest. It caught on because people wanted to be like the Queen, before that you would just wear a nice dress that you might have already owned.
The dumb thing is, it's not even about purity. Queen Victoria wore white on her wedding to show off her owning a whole dress that she would only wear once. That was how the white dress started. Then noble ladies all were doing it to follow in her foot steps. People never learn history man...they too fucking lazy to learn this shit.
"Men, if you want a chaste woman, you better be chaste yourself. Chaste women want chaste men. A virgin does not want a person who has shared their body with the whole block/city/state/country/continent/planet. No it ain't different for men. Please stop believing that lie. A whore is a whore, no matter the gender." AMEN!!!!!! A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Story 2. I found my wedding dress in a Chary shop for 15 euros!!! It wasn't in the condition or style I was imagined to be but i have seen the potential. I bought it and renovated it myself. I had my own designs drawn in a textbook, but at the end I just went with the flow and turned out just perfect and the best thing is my fiance seen the whole process and because he's a man, he doesn't really have an opinion about dresses and fashion. He just says until I feel happy I will be the most beautiful bride in the world for him. I agree ❤
As someone with autism whose siblings (half of them, anyways) always treated me like a disappointment, a burden, and like I could just throw out my autism when things were hard, I am SO happy for the second OP having their family on their side, and for letting the groom know his bride was manipulative and crazy.
My younger 2 children have autism and all 3 kids are very protective of each other. If they find anyone bullying their siblings, they will make that person know to leave their brother/sister alone immediately.
I have Asperger's autism and my family treats me like I'm a scape goat I put up with them gaslighting me and my mom. they used us for our kindness we had to part from the toxic members ..they get so jealous that they try to pull you down with them if you don't do what they want unfortunately.. sending love💓💓💓
I'm happy that the groom admitted that he was wrong and realized his fiancé wad manipulating him. It takes years for people to get out of that situation. Glad the whole family was supportive of OP
The first one. We are just gonna act like whole blocking your fiancé is okay? I get leaving and needing a moment. But like. Blocking your fiancé? No. No. Not okay.
That was my first thought too. Like my fiance and I have gotten in some pretty big arguments and sure, sometimes you need to sleep it off or take a couple hours to think but you don't just dissapear and refuse to talk
@@tcullen2283 exactly. I have to spin around adjust my tone. Come back to the convo with a different light on. But absolutely not leaving with no way to contact one another. And this is their first big fight??? This. Is not. A BIG marital issue. Sooooooo
As a wheelchair user, it really hurts and sucks to not be able to attend events because of missing ramps etc. However, this is 100% not the OPs issue and is 100% the responsibility of the bride and groom as they need to be accommodating to all guests.
Plus he even offered to help with a rental ramp. And even to have one built by the contractor he is working with. He was definitely not intending to exclude the bridesmaid.
The bridesmaid is also a bit of a bitch about it tbh, like i understand it's hard to get around with a wheelchair but she can't be going to a wedding at a private location, that happenes to be somebody's literal house and then demand a ramp be constructed just for her instead of a removable one because she "deserves better accomodation" like... sis... it's SOMEONE'S HOUSE. Someone who was even willing to hire a contractor in the first place but it turned out these things take time and cost a lot of money. Just take the damn temporary ramp wtf.
My MIL actually went out & bought my wedding dress WITHOUT ME. An cream/off-white colored dress, not an actual wedding dress either just an almost floor length gown. She said she didn't get a white one since I already had a child from my previous relationship. I didn't say anything then & wore the dress because at the time my hudband & I were just going to go to the courthouse but she wanted the church wedding so ya know...whatever. Although several years later we were all talking about what we would do differently at our weddings & my petty self said "Pick out my own dress". 🤣Que the shocked face on my MIL.
$9,000 for a wedding dress?! I just can't wrap my head around the fact that anyone would spend THAT much on a dress that will most likely be worn only once.
AND...he paid for it!! When did the groom start paying for the dress? I was very firm that I paid for my own dress and the alterations. Ended up being less than a grand.
I paid $600 for mine and luckily it didn't need any alterations because it fit perfectly. It just needed to be cleaned and have some beads replaced. I just got super lucky with my dress! It was the second one I tried on, fit perfectly and was cheap! And it's been in a cleaner's bag in my closet for 20 years 🤣
Mine was $400! AND had pockets! AND I had it made so that I could wear it anytime I went to the temple! AND hope to be buried it it some day! 😆 Because I hate expensive dresses that can only be worn once. It is my favorite dress and SO comfy! Also, still fits me even though I changed sizes, I was not expecting the sleeves to still fit, but the fabric it super forgiving.
For the first story, it reminds me of when I worked in a high end women's clothing store. I sometimes used to coach boyfriends/husbands on "acceptable" things to say. Generally a compliment on her taste or looks followed by a mild critique. Phrases like "It's pretty but I don't think that cut fits you well" or "You can make anything look good but I don't think it will go with anything else".
The last story had a huge update when I read it on reddit. The grooms mom took the brides side and asked if he was also going to be wearing a red suit as he was not a virgin either. He broke down into tears and claimed that "its not the same for men" 🤦♀️😳 Last I read the wedding was off. But i haven't looked for more updates lately. Misogyny at its finest folks 🤣
Wow when I heard this i felt sick. It is bad enough that some religions still treat women so badly, blaming them for anything and everything, for being alive, for having a brain, for being female etc. But having this kind of mysogynistic, insulting, judgemental treatments from not religious people is horrible. I had hoped, that times have gotten better for women at least in some countries. This, more than anything, shows that men still think they own a woman as an object, not a person. Because why else would you care if its "used".
@@endlessstudent3512 He's like those self-righteous men of Gilead in Handmaid's tale. Heck, they rape a woman once a month for being fertile and his wife gets to steal the baby if there are any, and they call it holy and the fertile woman's sole purpose of existing. That show shows the horrors of misogyny if it ruled a country.
My Late Husband was very good with his words when I’d ask his opinion on my clothes. He would tell me all the time I was beautiful but I did always want his 100% honest opinion especially being as self conscious as I am, so he would say things like, “You look beautiful but I’m not sure you’d be comfortable in that” or “I like that, but do you love it?” He just really knew me and would make sure to reassure me I was beautiful no matter what, then he would find a “softer” way to let me know it wasn’t the best choice. Also, I would try to not put him in a position that could cause an issue. For example, I would get multiple outfits, then do a “fashion show” and he’d rank the outfits. We just made sure to never set each other up for “failure.” We worked as a Team and I truly valued his opinions and he valued mine.
This is beautiful and the fact that you guys would work as a team and take each other’s feelings into account to build your bond instead of tearing it down is what any couple should hope for // I love this ❤
my partner sounds like your late husband, very honest but knows how to say it without critiquing the person- thus making the process of buying or picking stuff easy and fun
Yeah, My husband used to say (we've been married 17 years) ' that looks nice, but I've seen other things that make you look even better'. I say used to because I have now come to trust what he says, and he never says I look bad, just makes suggestions for improvement, and I have always looked better for his suggestions. I also never buy anything without his input. As for my wedding dress, it was a ballgown rather than a wedding dress, and he said I looked beautiful, although I would have looked beautiful in a bin bag as it is me that is beautiful and me he was marrying, not the dress.
I’m actually *applauding* that first man for even having that much insight and opinion on the wedding theme/design. The man’s feedback was not only honest but *constructive* criticism comparing the dress to the bride’s theme. Look, if you ask for someone’s honest opinion, then the filter comes off, don’t get upset when he gives you what you verbally asked for. If you want the quick compliment then just throw out a general “isn’t it pretty?”
Same here. She wanted an opinion. He stated what he thought! I was considering getting a floofy dress just because I wanted a dress (not a wedding, I was just tired of only wearing jeans) and I asked my friend to come with me because he’s really good at figuring out what looks good on someone. When I showed him the dress I liked, he said, “Absolutely not. It washes you out too much.” He was right… He did help me find a dark green dress that actually looks pretty good on me!
Her reaction was WAY too big! To block his number over that is too much. Her ability to cope is no buneo. He did nothing wrong. She is the one in the wrong esp for asking for the honest truth. She needs self reflection. Good luck to them.
@@NvrDieNvrSurrender Right?? The communication issues here are actually pretty concerning…this doesn’t sound like someone you can easily collaborate with as a partner.
I love the family of the cousin with the house needing a ramp - all so supportive and ready to go into battle including her cousin/the fiance - yay family!
That last story…RUN and don’t stop! That level of insecurity and dare I say controlling behavior over their partner is some MAJOR red flags. Would for sure only get worse over time. Need to drop those kinda of people like a sack of potatoes.
Had a friend marry a guy who was super insecure.The groom and I had the same first name and he threw a fit saying he didn't know if she was thinking about me when she says his name. He had other issues, all well. Always accusing her of cheating and even trying to kill her once when he was drunk and thought she was sleeping around on him. But, she married him. Feom what I've gathered from friends, she's not happy. We haven't spoken since before the wedding when she said he didn't want her talking to me anymore. We'd known each other for 10 years at that point.
@@JasonON pretty sad, vastly expected, and quite worrying for her future... I feel sorry for her. It's easy to get manipulated by a crazy mofo I guess :/
It was very immature of the bride in the first story to block op's phone number. If you're upset, just say you need time to cool off and will respond to any messages sometime later, and won't be staying the night.
I see many phone blockings in OP's future if they don't iron things out. I get hearing your future husband doesn't like your wedding dress might deeply sting, but you can excuse yourself to cool off, not run to your mom's house and block his number. But then people react differently to various situations🤷🏾♀️
@@Cr0ut0n yes I agree with you. It's going to be a common theme of her running to her mom every time she gets in her feelings. He needs to think about that before he marries her. Also how she just spends 9k on HIS card without asking( a downpayment on a house) is a HUGE red flag to me😬
Seriously. She seems so immature. The fact she blocked him over that, and the fact that she asked for an opinion she knew she didn't want to hear. The groom lucked out. He'd be walking on eggshells during their entire marriage, and the bride would never learn to grow up and communicate like an adult.
If he's smart, he will call off the wedding. This kind of immature behavior does NOT improve after the wedding. I wish I had paid attention to the red flags before I got married. The divorce cost a helluva lot more than the wedding... but it was worth every penny to get him out of my life after 15 years of trying to make it work by losing my self worth.
For the last story, if anyone is interested they broke up. She had another post some weeks later on a different subreddit asking for advice on her first date after so many years
Whenever I think of a red wedding dress I think of an old "Laverne and Shirely" episode in which Shirely needs to borrow a wedding dress to pose as a bride and and their frequently-married landlady offers her dresses and states "I have everything from 'virginal white' to 'here we go again red.'"
The first story…. Homeboy was set up to fail. She should’ve said “I want your opinion, but if you don’t like it, you better lie” (maybe that’s just me 😂) but also, the bride running out and acting like a toddler by blocking him? That marriage was doomed anyway, clear communication issues 😂
Yeah, it feels like a dude moment. The guy didn't know what his fiancé wanted to hear because he is a dude. Not his fault at all that he isn't a telepath like the rest of us girls. Fiancé was super entitled, especially when he said that he thought she was very pretty but that it didn't fit the theme.
i mean even if the guy was slightly rude (which i think he was but everyone can have their own opinion on it) the bride's immature reaction just... so vastly overshadows it.
I tell my husband I need his honest opinion because HE'S the one that has to see me in it, HE'S the one eating that food with me, HE'S the one living in that decorated house with me.
When I went to buy my wedding dress with my mom, she kept saying over and over "You're not getting a white dress, right?" and I KNEW it wasn't a purity thing because she's not like that so finally when I picked the dress, she said, "What color?" and I said, "Off white" (that slightly bone color that's not stark white) and she said, "Oh thank goodness, I thought you were going to get a dress that was going to compete with you for who is paler." So there's that. The whiter the dress, the whiter you look. And I'm starting at shade 0 as it is. I wish she had just told me why up front because I had this whole speech about how many guys I slept with worked out in my head. But it wasn't that. I'm just too pale for white.
I look like a zomby in white and would never consider pure white... But yeah she could have given her reasoning and seriously, pretty much no one who marries in white is a virgin anyway
Or you're pale with a warm undertone? People with cool undertones look good in white, warm undertones look good in off white and cream. White makes me look sickly.
she may have think with all that going on you wouldn't get the point right away, hopefully it seems that haven't ruin your confidence and your relationship :) wish you more happy days.
Lol, sounds like she completely forgot to convey her whole message. My entire family tends to do this, where we are all mind readers and don't fully interpret something and then have to step back to explain how on earth we got from A to Z-6 lol
I was someone who tried on several dresses and even thought I had found the one I was absolutely going to wear when I had just a few left to try on. The bridal dress attendee (I’m so sorry I don’t know their official title, but they are so wonderful) was excited with me and we tried on a couple more that weren’t as good as the one I was certain I was getting. I had just one more dress to try on. She said we might as well because even though we already had one picked out, it couldn’t hurt and worst case would only solidify my original choice for me. When I tell you that as soon as I saw myself in that very last dress, as soon as I saw the faces of my parents, especially my dad, and my maid of honor we all knew it was THE ONE. I can’t explain it, it was very similar in style to the other one we had picked, but this one had sleeves and something about the way it fit on my body was straight up magical. It looked like it was made for me and since it was the very last dress and was almost like the throw away “it’ll just solidify your other choice” I stand by to this day that it was absolutely meant to be. You never know how much your ideas will change once you start to actually try those dresses on and see yourself in them and see the people you love looking at you in total silence with tears in their eyes because THAT dress is The One.
OP in story 2 was so set on making sure the bridesmaid could be accommodated safely that it made me want to cry when they were treated so poorly for being a considerate human being. Glad the family had their back because unfortunately, many families don’t.
My Aunt wore a lovely red dress at her wedding. The groom also wore red. It wasn’t a symbolism thing (as far as I know) but the family associates her with ladybugs so it was just fitting for her to be in a red dress and it suited her well.
People get SOOOO hung up on a white bridal gown. It’s so refreshing to hear of a bride and groom doing what works for them! Sounds like it was beautiful 😊❤
Did anyone notice in the first story he said this was their "first fight"? That was the most concerning part to me. Couples fight and disagree when they communicate. Im concerned they have never really communicated with one another
@@TesriaT exactly !. He gave her the card, thinking she would have some sort of financial sense not to go overboard and was probably thinking she would only spend about $2,000 or even less. With the bride , she mostly was like, he gave me the card didn’t tell me a price, so I’m going to get the most expensive dress , that wouldn’t decline the card. Sounds like they rarely talked about a budget for the wedding or even just financial budgets in general of every day expenses.
While I agree in this instance that concerned me, I don't agree that "couples fight" when they communicate. You can disagree, yes, but fighting... no. I have been married to my husband for 6 years, together for 12, and we have NEVER fought. We disagree, we share our sides, we make concessions, and a hell of a lot of the time we stop and go "Ah, we're not finding a middle ground this time. Okay, agree to disagree! Whatcha wanna eat?" But, for me, the MOST concerning fact of that story was that she ran away AND BLOCKED HIM? What kind of actual fuckin' child is she? I'd be postponing the wedding indefinitely at that point if I were the OP, because, that is NOT how you handle ANY disagreement, let alone something as childish as being given two choices, making a choice, and then deciding you didn't like the outcome of that choice and blaming it on the person that gave you the OPTION for what you ACTUALLY wanted to begin with.
Update on last story from her profile: Ended the engagement and was asking for advice on what to wear to her first date with a new guy. Nothing further on this acct and posts are from 3months ago as of now. Happy for her!!
The guy was a fool, them by his logic they would not have had sex the whole relationship till the wedding. Absurd. I'm glad she moved on to better things.
Second Story: love how you were right about the rushed wedding being a red flag. 😂 I’m autistic so it about pissed me off when the fiancée tried calling op an ableist while insulting them for their own disability. Agree with op on not wanting to rush making the ramp. If rushed too fast there is no telling if the ramp will be safe enough for any wheelchair users. Something bad could’ve happened and then the Bride probably would’ve blamed op for any accidents.
Even as a non autistic person, I read that part was like "oh fuck off." Personally that part I really found annoying about the ramp was they were making these kind of insane demands about it but then thought he should be the one to pay for it. That's just like influencer stereotype levels of entitled.
Yeah, it seemed ridiculous to call them ablest when they'd offered two ramp options (they could have one built if given more time, or they could rent one). The fact that the OP was willing to pay for a ramp at all for their guest shows they were incredibly accommodating.
My oldest daughter eloped yesterday and I love her for it! I’m not sure it’s an actual elopement since we all knew her and her fiancé were going to do it just not when and none of us were invited. They are having a big informal outdoor reception in October for all of us to celebrate with them. Sarah just wanted to avoid the stress and cost of a wedding. It was perfect for them. She did use a photographer and the pictures are stunning.
My oldest daughter eloped in Vegas in 2019. It was so completely her, no one knew or was told until afterwards. It was a bit shocking to be honest, but it is her life and her marriage and her choice. And her hubby's, obviously.
It sounds like you have raised a wise, level-headed daughter who has her priorities in order. Now she gets to enjoy her wedding reception party without the stress of dealing with guest list seatings, expensive venues, and extra drama on the day of her personal exchange of vows with her beloved. It's much more fun to have a reception when the bride and groom aren't overwhelmed and exhausted. Also, everyone can dress comfortably and wear their sensible shoes. 👟 Congratulations to your daughter and your newest family member! May you all have many years of love and happiness.
I wanted to do this, oh mother was a massive pain in my ass, always, and looking back I'd have called it all off if I'd known how many arguments she caused!
Hell yeah.... I would give my kid cash money to skip the crazy expensive wedding and use that money toward something more useful (house, car, debt, whatever). Your daughter made a smart choice. I'm stunned when people spend ONE - TWO YEARS planning a wedding. Shell out tens of thousands of dollars for an event that lasts less than 12 hours start to finish.
Watching this the second time was even more enjoyable than the the first!!! Charlotte’s incredulity at some people’s behavior is absolutely hilarious!!!!
“Look at my wife, the w****. See her walk. Revel in her w****ness.” I lost it 😂😂😂😂😂 You’re able to capture the WTF outrage you’re feeling in such a genuinely funny way.
My soon to be husband and I are both autistic and have deadbeat families. Needless to say, wedding planning has been like pulling teeth. The dress shopping has been the easiest part. I got exactly what I wanted almost instantly. A beautiful embroidered Sleeping Beauty style wedding dress.
As much as there’s some “tradition” in having family be involved in wedding planning, I sincerely think it’s best to let the couple decide on the majority of what goes on- in the end, it’s your wedding, not your family’s wedding. My only piece of advice: know when to cut your losses
Hi, I agree with Pixl. If your family isn't willing to be there for you or keep you from having the wedding you want, it might be best to not invite them to the wedding. Maybe just do close friends? You could even do a small intimate court wedding and then do a preferable reception with all your close friends or even save all the money for a preferable honeymoon or vacation. Make it your day, love. Best of luck!
Have a wonderful wedding day❤ My aunt gave me a great piece of advice on my wedding day "never go to bed on an argument ". We have just celebrated our Ruby wedding anniversary & I hope you have a long & happy marriage like we've had. Yes we've had rough times but we are a team & worked to get through them
I'm still stuck on the fact that she charged $9000 to his credit card! Is it normal for the groom to pay for the wedding dress?! I thought the bride or her family was responsible for that... And nine grand! For a dress you're gonna wear once!? I'm shook at that.
It's very not normal, no! A custom gown can be as little as a NINTH of the cost of that. 1/9. I assume it's probably designer or used leavers lace (very expensive to do, only old machines can do it, they aren't up kept anymore, and it takes years to learn how to run)
Well, if they agreed, that’s how they spent their money, it’s okay. Maybe he earns much more or maybe she’s a housewife. Nothing wrong with that. Everything else isn’t okay, though…
Considering how she handles her emotions as a presumed "adult" I'm having trouble believing she understands the full picture of what's weird with silently charging someone else's credit card.
My bride actually did wear red on our wedding, but that is because we had a cosplay wedding with a Princess Bride theme. She was Buttercup, I was Wesley (Dread Pirate Roberts), and we truely enjoyed our "Mawage. That bwessed awangement." There was even a hill behind the church that she pushed me down.
I wore a burgundy wedding dress and LOVED it. And the idea of the "white dress" did NOT come from purity. It came from Queen Victoria. Back when she she was queen, wearing white was a status symbol in the aspect of how hard it was to keep clean and bc she had LOTS of money she said she wanted a white dress and didn't care if it got dirty or not not bc she could afford to just throw it out. And from there it has just grown into what it is today... Moral of the story WEAR WHATEVET COLOR YOU WANT FOR YOUR DAY!!!
Yes! I'm wearing a wedding dress with color and I'm very excited about it! We're incorporating the color into the theme, and I'm so excited!! So, yes, wear colours! Wear what you want! Tis your wedding, wear whatever color you want
I wore a burgundy red as well, and I have no regrets. Our theme was burgundy/red, black and silver. The 'usual' aesthetics for a wedding wouldn't have fit either of us. Honestly if I could do it over, I'd probably wear the same shade, or even a dark purple or black! It's meant to be -your- day, not anyone elses. Do what makes you happy.
When I was wedding dress shopping I was convinced I would get a short 1950s style tea dress as I love 50s fashion, and that is what EVERYONE expected, I tried on and fell in love with a grecian goddess style dress, it was a cream colour, with little pearls around the neckline and had this beautiful silk train from the back of the dress, it was figure hugging and I couldn't believe how good it looked! It had a sexy slit up the side, not slutty but sexy! I had a flower crown too, my husbands jaw literally fell to the floor when he saw me and I felt amazing! I never thought I would've gone for that style but it actually fit my wedding so well! I wore a dream catcher necklace and was a Boho goddess!
Regarding the last story. The church at Chesterfield in the UK, is famous for its crooked spire. Legend has it that a virgin was getting married, and the spire leaned over to see her arrive because it had never happened before.
I've been married twice. First one, I wore my mother's white wedding dress from her wedding. It was wonderful, but the wedding was a mistake. Divorced 4 years later. Second wedding - my hubs & I planned and paid for everything. I had a custom-designed RED dress made by a friend, because red is my favorite color! Could not have been happier! ❤❤❤ And we're still together 14 years later!
8:54 so its not that he doesnt WANT to make it wheelchair accessible, he literally cant because the contractor doesnt have time.. he offered to buy a ramp himself but that wasnt good enough... they want to be picky about the ramp but they want HIM to pay for it when its not his wedding and the wheel chair user isnt his friend??? that is INSANE.. NOT the A-hole
We love when Charlotte is right, too! 🎉 Also, this whole thing about the bride not being “pure” is such a giant load of 💩.and that bride should call off the wedding: like Charlotte said! 👍🏻
When OP's future MiL asked "Since *you're* not pure either, Son, maybe *you* should wear red, too." and BF *cried...* - MiL is the 🏆! Keep her and ditch the BF, OP. And we love you, Charlotte! 😙
The red wedding dress story made me laugh, because my sister decided on a red wedding dress for her wedding...not because it had any symbolism....but just because she just really liked the dress and the colour. She told us bridesmaids to wear any black dress we wanted and we all looked great. Everybody loved her red dress...nobody complained and everyone had a great time. Nobody thought red was any type of symbolism...she just wanted to wear a red dress...simple as that.
red is also a lucky color in many cultures. The white wedding dress is a fairly modern invention in most countries. In China, traditionally red is a wedding color. Brings luck. In some regions in my country, at one point, brides wore black. In other regions, they wore colorfully embroided traditional dresses. The white dress idiocy came much later.... and now there are brides even who get angry if you attend her wedding in a white dress :D
😊reminds me of the bit in the golden girls where when asked why she wore a red dress to her wedding Blanche replied 'Honey, not even I could have kept a straight face if I'd worn white'
E wants to wear white and since the groom and his friends and family say red because she is not "pure" Everyone there will think that long before they say she looks good in red.
OMG, my hubby would NEVER say ANYTHING but "you look beautiful" and never tell me he hated it or anything negative. (We've been married 35 yrs now) Since our wedding, he has ALWAYS maintained his... want to please me, when I ask for any fashion opinion (I rarely do now, because I've learned over time to only buy what is super flattering on me), he'll always say "you look great" or "Love that colour on you, fits you nicely". That's it. 🤷♀💞 We are now 60, and when i'm feeling insecure with the way i look, he still sees me. ♥
I’d make her pay me back for it. As a former almost bride I paid for my dress, a whopping $500 give or take. Why is the dude paying for her dress? And why in the hell would she pick something that is that expensive. Then to run off to mommy’s because he said he didn’t like it is stupid as well. I’m just an old crusty spinster who thinks some of this stuff is stupid lol.
What struck me about the last story is that he said he talked to his coworker before deciding she shouldn't wear white ? Like the dude talked to his co-worker about his fiancé's sex life ?? MAJOR Red Flag !
Exactly, and what co workers would give him this advice? They MUST not have relationships themselves. I don't know any man or woman who would tell an engaged man everyone must know his partner isn't pure !
Charlotte fumbling her words bc she’s excited about the drama is my favorite!! lol I’ve been binge watching your channel for weeks now & the fact that this is ONE OF THE ONLY times I’ve seen her fumble her words & everything is hilarious and mind blowing to me!! 😂🤣
Don't know if anyone posted this yet but"impure bride" did actually dump him and posted a few weeks later about going on a first date after 6 years so happy ending. ☺️
When I got married, dress shopping was something I did with my mom, my aunt (her identical twin sister who is like another mom), and my maid of honor. I knew I had the perfect dress when I saw tears in my mom’s eyes and she is not an overly emotional person. We bought it immediately and my husband didn’t see it until the day of the wedding and he loved it as well. And now it’ll be ten years in June since we got married.
My dress shopping? Mom had gone to local clothing that just had regular dresses, she spotted white dress in half price rack and called me said it's my size. I drove there, tried it on. Said this is fine I'll take it. 99€
that first story is the whole reason why i'm getting my future husband to go dress shopping with me. it won't be just MY big day, it'd also be HIS. he may envision a completely different look for me on our special day and it'd make me feel so bad if he never tells me his true thoughts.
First story - I don't get why some people are saying the groom was in the wrong. If my SO lied to me and let me prance about in something that looked ridiculous *after* asking him for honesty, that would 100% be more offensive and disappointing. Guess the moral is, don't ask someone for their honest opinion unless you're actually willing to value and appreciate it.
My cousin's fiancé and his family insisted that she wear a red bow on the back of her dress to show her impurity. She didn't know that they wanted her to wear it right untill she was completely dressed and almost ready to walk down the aisle. I told her that I would have walked away then. But she stayed and actually wore it! They divorced about 6 months into the marriage, mostly due to his family.
Omfg... what is with people and this whole purity shit still going strong in this day and age... I'd tell them to shove their misogynistic opinions back up their ar*es and f*ck off
@@dreadsndogs4406 absolutely! I felt so bad for her. She was in a whole different state. Our family had already had them a very nice wedding. His family refused to attend. Basically they bullied her into it. She vowed never to put herself in that situation again!
My husband is sooooo brutally honest... after 10 yrs. Of marriage I've learned to straight up say...I want you to compliment me while giving me your opinion haha or I actually want an honest opinion or give me your opinion without all the knit picky detailed criticism etc... *ADVICE FOR GIRLS* : be EXTREMELY clear and honest about what you want and expect and feel. Don't expect men to be mind readers in any way lol you will get along for MUCH longer
For that reason, I had Said my ex so many times to speak up but that asshole too big of a weasels to do so. Thankfully, I ended things before it got out of control.
@@MonaLisaVitoYou have issues, you must be single. It is horrible communication to ask someone for their honest opinion, and then expect them to lie 🤣🤣 Usually the bride and bridal party picks out the dress, and they all have opinions if they’re told to be honest. It’s the same for the groom, and he’s the one that paid for it. To block him, after already paying for the dress, when it’s their first argument? That’s so unbelievably childish, if you think that’s right, then you need a reality check. Must be your white entitlement speaking.
The thing is that if someone gives honest opinion then you can trust that this is exactly what he is thinking. For people who give politically correct answers, you can't trust their opinion at all. They have useless opinions.
it's really so exhausting living with a partner that asks for your honest opinion about something and then get so irrationally upset about it. like they're only setting their entire relationship up for failure because it's gonna be based on lies since they can clearly not handle being told the truth
Exactly, that's a major red flag right there. It really bothers me that people normalize this kind of behaviour with excuses such as him being stupid for telling the truth... He wasn't being stupid he was being honest when she told him that's what she wanted. She should be the one appologising for behaving like a spoiled brat. He did absolutely nothing wrong.
What’s worse is potato brain agreed he was an idiot, which shows her true colors. If you’re going to get upset when you ask for someone’s honesty, then you got no business opening your mouth! Charlottes boyfriend better see the red flag! Anyone that thinks that groom was stupid for being honest, after affirming if she really wanted that, are selfish entitled and manipulative people. In one way, if you lie to not hurt feelings, we’ll, you’re a liar. In the other way, you were rude and should have kept it to yourself. People like that should stay single! You got life lessons you should have learned decades ago!
Yeah and Charlotte having a legit potato brain for calling him an idiot but not calling out the immature brat who begged for his opinion, affirmed it, and then blocked him for actually being politely honest! And Charlotte stood on that side…sexist much?
It ultimately comes down to how things are said too though. If the groom said "That dress looks awful, what were you thinking?" That's a terrible response, especially after being told that the bride loved the dress. My husband has successfully told me a dress made me look fat - he was considerate of my feelings and honest and I wasn't mad. We actually laughed and I appreciated the feedback.
But can we talk about her reaction to the situation in the first story? I admit I've also reacted poorly in fights before but I'd think going through a fight and communicating and handling it like adults is such an important thing before marriage imo. I get it, it sucks you can't return the dress (I'm also engaged), but storming out and blocking him over that? I'd say their focus should be on how to deal with fights in the future because if this is what any fight will be, that would be quite a tough marriage. Also as a woman, I honestly get tired of this "when a woman asks for an opinion you should lie" like we are children that people need to be careful around. I've seen issues in relationships so often due to this!
She's TA for spending $9,000 on a dress and considering his reaction on finding out the price of it on HIS credit card statement that was way above the budget and that was not her money she spent. She spent $9,000 of his money on a dress and didn't even ask him if spending that much was okay first. Way to start causing financial issues before you're even married. She's also TA for acting like a child when she asked for his actual opinion and then getting mad at him, leaving and blocking his number when they are supposed to be getting married because he gave it and probably didn't expect him to find out how much she spent on it. She probably figured he would just love it and then she could tell him how much it actually cost and he wouldn't be angry. How did literally everyone miss that? Edit: Check my comments here for further context to the story. Am now even more firm in my she's TA stance. Finally managed to locate the story on Reddit.
We don't know their financial situation, but given the fact that she impulsively bought a $9,000 dress seems to indicate that it was not ridiculously expensive for them. I hold my breath waiting for a mere $1,000 purchase to not come back declined, so I'm guessing those people are much much better off financially than the average person.
Oh I love the ending to that story with the rushed wedding and the RAMP of contention. I'm so happy for the groom and the cousin with the house and their family. Dodged a bullet indeed. If anyone is rushing you into feeling something or an engagement or a wedding...heck even moving in together before you are ready, RED FLAG! You may need to RUN AWAY!
Does anyone else just live for the way she says "Do we have time for one more?", it makes me laugh every time. She's hilarious and I enjoy watching her videos so much!
My mom did the white dress thing too. I got pregnant as a teenager and then married right after high school. It was a really tough time and my mom saying that I shouldn’t wear white to my wedding completely crushed me.
My Mom told me that if only virgins wore white the white dress companies would be out of business. I am sorry your Mom did that to you. It makes me sad that people think brutal honesty is ok. There are ways to say you do not care for something without dissolving the bride in to tears. If someone asks for an opinion about a dress do not make it about the bride's body type or the fact that it is white and you know bride is not a virgin. I cannot believe this is still an issue. I am 65 and I know one woman who was a virgin when she got married - just one. Let it go already.
The dumb thing is, it's not even about purity. Queen Victoria wore white on her wedding to show off her owning a whole dress that she would only wear once. That was how the white dress started. Then noble ladies all were doing it to follow in her foot steps. People never learn history man...they too fucking lazy to learn this shit.
@@peekaboots01then maybe you should take your complaints to the dress industry. Majority of the dresses are white, and hardly anyone is a virgin by the time they’re ready for marriage and that’s not a bad thing.
This reminds me, recently I planned a quinceañera and the girl wanted a red gown originally, she wanted to get the gown first before anything else, and I realized why. She went into the store fully expecting a red gown. She left the store with a turquoise one instead. Then, she picked the venue and theme to match the gown. The day turned out great and there was no issues theme wise and I think it’s because of the way she went about it. I feel like it’s a good idea to do the dress, shoes, etc. person first, then the venue and theme, because as a bride, you want to fall in love with your dress and be proud to wear it. That’s just my thoughts though, others have different experiences 🤷♀️
As someone with autism, the person who was asked to pay for the ramp at the wedding venue being told by their family that their existence has been painful for them is like worst fears confirmed stuff. They've pretty much been told "you've always been a pain to be around because you're autistic so why can't you just do this thing for us?" and if anyone that close to me ever said that to me I would cut them out of my life immediately and probably need years of therapy to reverse the hit to my mental health that would cause knowing that my biggest fear (that being around me is a hassle) was true.
Bonus points for them basically saying it was a curse on THEM to be around OP's autism and then calling OP an ableist because they weren't able to hire an extremely expensive contractor who would be able to make this ridiculous demand work, as they were actively trying. Also the bridesmaid who had the solution offered on a platter when they said they could get a removable one and she went and decided she "deserved better" like the bitch couldn't possible accept ONE temptorary ramp, at an otherwise fully wheelchair accessible's house and was demanding, herself, that a contractor builts one just for her. OP was not the problem there.
I can't even imagine the pain of going through something like this😢 but I'm familiar with the fear of being a burden to others. 💯% agree! No one needs to ask for acceptance, and that post made me so angry 😠 Also, the audacity (and irony) of calling OP an ableist 🤦♀️
A little mental health exercise is to ask yourself “so, what?” About your worst fears. Because it’s not the worst fears But the unspoken assumptions connected to them that are painful. One can make them hurt less by exposing what they are and verifying which ones are actually totally unlikely to be true. For example, “let’s say I’m a burden on people, so, what?… that would mean other people actually don’t like me…. Doesn’t it? it doesn’t, it means they like me but to be with me costs them money and effort. I have a friend like that too, I like her but she only likes expensive food when I’m happy with a cheese sandwich every meal. Hanging out with her costs me money I don’t really like to spend. I like her more at work where she doesn’t coats me money. But I do like her, I just don’t like her food and spending money on that stuff. So my friends probably like me even if I cost them money. No one likes to spend money on things they didn’t choose, it doesn’t mean they don’t like me as a person.” Once you do that, you feel much better. Do it to yourself. You don’t need a therapist.
@@M_SC I was about to upvote your comment until I came to a screeching halt on that last sentence. It's ok to share coping strategies that have worked for you, but making the blanket statement that some1 doesn't need therapy at all for that issue is comparable to telling some1 with cancer that they don't need chemo bc eating organic foods worked for you. You can certainly say it, but you should also know that it's height of using anecdotal evidence & claiming it's empirical evidence.
Yeah, that's a fear I have too but slightly different. I'm late diagnosed and that only last year. I'm in my early 40s now. The thing about autism is that it tends to run in families, and I'm not the first one in mine. I have seen how my NT family treated my ND family as children and even now as adults and I don't want them to treat me the same. Only my parents know. Not even my sister does, who has an autistic son (whom I love deeply) knows that I'm autistic myself. It's one of my worst fears, that the wider family learns about my diagnosis. I hope this never happens to you.
I always give my friends a warning if they ask for my opinion - are you sure you actually want it? The groom said all the dresses she’d shown him previously were a completely different style so he was probably thrown and also looking forward to a sexy dress! The last one is hilarious, my dress would have to be black 💀🤣
The red wedding dress issue sounds like some creepy “alpha” or incel shit. The fact that Ryan started CRYING when his mom suggested he wear red too (made me laugh, picturing Beetlejuice wedding scene, which would be kinda rad, actually), shows he knows it’s awful and embarrassing to suggest to someone. Saying guys are different is more incel type bs. Probably has at least one of those creeps among his coworkers, so when talking about his insecurities, they fed into it and made him feel justified or something. At least, I’m hoping they just poisoned the well and he wasn’t secretly thinking about his “whore” of a gf/fiancé for 6yrs. For her sake. Anyone who judges a woman for having sex needs to never have sex with a woman for their entire lives.
I was honestly surprised that HIS mom pulled that one out! Normally, we hear about FMILs being all on their little boys side, but that was at least a nice plot twist
The dress I fell in love with I put on as a joke because it was 100000% not my style and looked ridiculous. But as soon as I put it on I didn't want to take it off. I am terrible at keeping secrets but I managed not to show my husband my gown until our wedding day 9 months later. He cried and honestly, I'm SO GLAD I did that then show him the dress in advance and ask his opinion. Of course you want to know if your partner loves the dress, but what matters most is that YOU love the dress. If your partner really loves you they'll marry you in whatever you wear, even a potato sack.
Yep, poor guy was set up and also, she could’ve addressed some of the shock value by saying she knows it looks nothing like the dresses she originally planned for.
I asked my husband before going wedding dress shopping if he has any preferences or dislikes when it comes to wedding dresses. He said he doesn’t like the mermaid/fitted style. I mean sure it is my wedding day but it’s his too and I wanted my husband to love my dress as well and we both did 😁
The second story was poetic justice in the end. And I love that the OP’s family supported him and stuck by his side. At least that bride let her true colors show before they got married!
Wedding dress story: Yes, brides very often choose a different dress than what they looked for. I'm a florist and have worked with weddings a lot and often had to do last minute changes because the bridal bouquet needed to be changed to fit to the final dress choice. Plus I did the very same thing, originally wanted a black dress because I look horrible in white, but chose a beautiful old-white dress which made my almost see through skin color look less corps-ish and more medieval royalty-ish.
Story 1: People need to say what they mean. OP's bride should have said, "Tell me what you like about this dress. I just want to hear honest compliments." There's nothing wrong with being specific and wanting praise from a loved one. Edited to add: I understand feeling confused that she went for a dress that was totally different from her inspiration picks. This happens to a lot of brides. They go dress shopping with one style in mind and then someone suggests she try a dress outside of that style. And wow, she didn't expect to feel so beautiful in the recommended dress! Anyone who watched "Say Yes to the Dress" saw it happen more than once.
They're both kind of idiots, no offense 😂. I get that she did ask for honest opinion but he should have cushioned it a bit, like instead of just saying I don't like it he should have tried to be a little gentler in his approach. Like point out stuff that is fixable. The fit, maybe it needs something like flowers to match the theme. And as for her, I know she's upset that he didn't like the dress she fell in love with but she shouldn't have acted that way. It's his wedding too. A little compromise wouldn't hurt. Ask what she could do to make it look better, does it not fit ok? Does it not have enough elements to match the theme? This could have been prevented if they both compromised for each other.
@@kamiamarievaldez8441 I'm all for compromise, but it was my understanding that she couldn't return the dress. So the bell was pretty much completely rung, lol.
Yeah but It could be customized a bit, may have to pay a bit more but It would be better than having to cancel an entire wedding over an argument about the dress.
Asked my husband what he thought about the bridal makeup I tried out a shop I liked. He hated it. Said I didn't look like myself. Kids even agreed. Even though it was REALLY well done and I looked nice, I accepted the criticism and decided against all the fluff 😁
Shows you are a mature person and not manipulative! You also understand that opinion does not mean compliment. There’s a reason you’re a taken woman, others should learn from you, like the woman in the first story. But potato queen also has a potato brain and called him stupid…clearly she supports women being manipulators (or down right ignorant.)
@@SeriousSara1 Women have right to wear what they want without asking husband unless they are insecure and brainless whick good portion of housewives are.
My husband chose my gown, we took his mom out to look at gowns and as she and I looked at the gowns on the racks, my fiancé was looking at gowns and held one up which wasn’t a style I considered. My MIL said he should not be choosing gowns since he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. His response was “Well I may not but I know my fiancée and think this would be beautiful on her. Would you please consider trying it on?” I did and after trying several other gowns, I realized his choice was the most flattering and comfortable gown I had tried. It’s the dress I chose.
That first story, I just have a hard time with the fact that they were getting married but the bride literally leaves to her moms and then blocks his number at the first sight of a disagreement. Cherry on top is that she’s mad over something that she asked him to answer. Also, I can totally see how a poofy prom looking dress doesn’t go great with a nature themed wedding. In relationships, we need to be able to lovingly tell each other the truth when one of us isn’t seeing it clearly.. 😂
Totally agree, I was thinking that!! Plus he also paid for the dress and was supposedly going to pay for the second dress if things went south. Lot of red flags in their relationship dynamics.
True, instantly blocking a number just because of a disagreement isn't just it, the guy was even trying to contact her to maybe patch things up. Plus I always imagined a forest or wood elf kind of themed wedding to wear a sort of simple dress with flowy sleeves and flowy skirt
A historical fun fact for that "Purity Groom": The white dress at weddings never stood for purity, it was just a trend created by Queen Victoria. White was a colour only the super-rich wore to showcase their wealth because of how easily it could get dirty, brides usually wore their favourite (sometimes most expensive) dress. A white wedding dress signifying purity is a wives' tale mixed with colour association.
Long story short: White Wedding Dresses are just a 200-year-old trend
@@pyro_5909 that I didn't know. Cool
Yeah, evangelical Christians later made it into a virginity thing, but it only applies to pure, stark white. The vast majority of wedding gowns are technically ivory and approved for us sluts, haha. This dude has no idea what he's talking about. I can't believe they stayed together after he spent the entire first year of their relationship slut shaming her for having one serious boyfriend before him.
Didn't know that. Learn something new every day.
Exactly.
I thoguht the rich wore purple ,because it was an expensive dye .Then the queen said fu*k that Im wearing white..
For everyone wondering, the red dress bride called off the engagement and dumped that walking red flag. She didn't update the original post, but she posted in an advice subreddit not long after her other post, asking redditors what she should wear on a date, because she hadn't dated in six years. And yes, people said she should wear red on her date.
Thanks for that. Good for her. Those flags he was waving were redder than any dress could have been.
Thank you for posting this! I was really hoping for an update on that one. Good for her glad she dumped him.
What are the odds the ex thinks 'females just don't want a nice guy like him'?
@@frigginresulrum very high odds I imagine.
@@frigginresulrum one of my well now ex friends thinks that way. he thought he was such a catch. i've known him since high school. he's twice divorced, cheated on the first with the 2nd who used him for a green card and she left him for someone else. then after years of being single he met his now ex whom he shares kids with. she was a newly widow with a baby. he really shouldn't have dated her she needed more time but over the years i grew to love her. she's a very awesome woman. he on the other hand is a mamas boy who hasn't worked in 7ish years. they had to move about a year after he got laid off, he was still collecting unemployment because the state offers unemployment for a year if you're in school and complete a degree or certificate. So he had some income, well they had a 5yo and her older son and moved to a very different area which although they could afford didn't have the same jobs he was looking for. he expected with his AA degree to get a job paying $100k+ a year like he was making before but in a totally different field with no experience in it. He has 1 excuse after another for not getting a job. So she's been supporting their family which now includes another child. all of them have autism and the youngest has physical disabilities. she's a year older than my son and didn't walk until recently while my son was walking really early. his girlfriend and I talk often and she was like, i'm happy for you but also a bit jealous because my youngest isn't walking. aww, anyway, she found out that he was using the money he was getting from selling his season tickets to a football team to pay for his credit card but she's the one who paid for the tickets since he no longer has unemployment. he was supposed to sell them and give her the money to cover the cost of the monthly fee and then keep the difference. So she's now in debt and just had enough. She said that she asked him, when are you going to get a job, he said I need time. she said how much time, he said years. It was 6ish years at that point. So she was like, I want to break up. Oh he was also angry that she wouldn't service him if you get what I mean, he has poor hygiene, like won't bathe for 2 weeks easy. i know he's depressed but if you want some, take a friggen shower, brush your teeth and woo her a little. So he called me to tell me that she agreed to have an open relationship because he has needs and she won't fulfill them. he's so gross but he thinks he's a good catch and a nice guy. he's a loyal friend but even then it's only if you go along with his narcissistic ways, if you disagree with him you're the bad guy, so i'm not just friends with her. she's the more reasonable one anyway. he isn't even a good parent, he parents by yelling at the kids from the couch, he never speaks to the son, like how was your day, how was school, just, don't do that, don't touch that, stop doing xyz. and then he wonders why the kid hates him. i told her years ago, you need to talk to him about how he treats your oldest. he seemed to care when he was a baby/toddler but when he reached about 6 he did nothing but yell at him. anyway, he's a "nice guy".
Ryan’s mom suggesting he should wear red too making him cry…😂😂😂 She’s the real OG in all these stories…:))
She's the boss👌🤣
The fact that he cried as soon as he was aired out for not being pure himself.
Best Mom remark!
.
@@darylenelorde8388as his mother, I would have whooped his ass for that comment.
I wore a pure white dress to my first wedding. I was 17 and a virgin. It didnt stop a friend of my husbands family from spreading a rumor at the reception that we 'had to get married'. After many months and no pregnancy, she doubled down and spread the rumor that I had miscarried. Just an all around B-word.
That's so horrible and cruel!
B-word yes! 🤬 Sorry for what you went through.
@@Marilyn2401Yes.😡😞
Ι'm sorry to hear everything actually, and especially the child marriage.. That's awful..
There was nothing about a child marriage. 17 is not a child and she didn’t say she was forced into it. Marrying age was younger in years past as well. Grow up.
I looked in to the “pure” wedding dress debacle and she called off the engagement! 🎉 It’s really sad that 6 years of her life were wasted on this dude but so glad she didn’t go through with the wedding. ❤
Still curious as to why he was so focused on others knowing she wasn't a virgin
Was he seriously after 6 years still that upset that he'd only been with her but she had been with one other guy (if so seek therapy because still being insecure someone had a life before you after 6 years means you need it) or did his friends and coworkers just keep calling him a virgin and this was his way of saying "see, we haven't been pure and waiting till marriage, I've been having sex for 6 years"
@Sigma Male why would you be concerned about your wives virg.? That sounds very weird and wrong dude. Also your name: we don't use astrology for insecure straight males on this side of the web, honey.
@Sigma Male Hi, I too am curious about why you're worried about your SO's virginity. Are you a virgin too or are you worried about marrying someone that has an STD or STI?
We do have medication that can either completely get rid of the STD or completely suppress it that it's not even traciable on tests.
Have a great day!
@Sigma Male Guys we found OP's ex-fiance
@Sigma Male He wants to punish her and humiliate her in front of the wedding guests. That is so horrible.
We can call OP dumb for giving his honest opinion and not realizing wedding dresses aren’t returnable. But when are we going to stop excusing adults who say what they want and then throw a fit when they get it? I too am guilty of wanting my partner to know exactly what I’m thinking, of asking for an opinion when all I really want is a compliment. But it gets to a point where you’re just a grown person setting traps and tests to catch your partner out.
like fr, we are not oracle/mind readers. if someone says no to me, why would i assume that they really meant yes? had an ex who was mad at me bc i hadnt started dinner when he got home (i asked him wia message, he ignored so i just did it on my time) and then he said he didnt want to eat anymore so i put the food on the refrigerator and then he got mad bc i "didnt care about him enough to make him eat" like BRO COME ON. long story short, YES TO WHAT YOU SAID xD
Agree. It was also a red flag to me when OP said it was their first argument, just seems like something you should do before an engagement so you know if your conflict styles mesh.
I agree 100%
Like, no one is responsible for reading others' minds and guessing what they want to hear
I agree in most circumstances, but I do think for a wedding dress, that’s already purchased… you can’t say anything negative.
Agree! Also, Many people were complementing her because they wanted her to spend the 9 grand.
A round of applause for the mom humbling Ryan like a BOSS.
Yess she the mvp... Also the ramp story groom's mom too... Thank god the moms aren't blindly supporting their sons anymore
Are y’all off? How is he in the wrong when he literally just did what she asked? She cannot be mad he doesn’t like the dress when she asked him for his honest opinion and spent 9,000$ of HIS money… not hers, HIS. What she needs to do is grow tf up and stop acting like a child
@@ashleighbrinson1488 not that guy... We're talking about the guy that wanted his bride to wear red because she's "impure"
She actually said, " she deserved better.. BETTER THAN WHAT..? WHOM?". Wow talk about entitled.
He LISTENED TO PEOPLE AT WORK???!! AND THERE OPINIONS WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR ?? ANYTHING!.. HE CHOSE TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE HE WOULD NOT PLAN A VACATION ,HE WHO NOT EXPECT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF WHEN
I was "pure" when I got married and literally wore black. We are celebrating 20 yrs this yr. Wear what you want.
For the guy obsessed with purity: Red is a traditional wedding color in many countries outside of the US. China, India, Taiwan, Korea, Pakistan, Vietnam, Singapore just to name a few. Red wedding colors often represent joy, prosperity, luck, and fertility for the future of the marriage. It's a color to bless the future of the marriage not to represent the "status" of the bride.
Yes, but to him it means his wife is shameless. She can’t enjoy wearing the dress regardless of the positive connotations in other countries when she knows he sees it as a scarlet letter.
@@hotjanuary yeah I disagree with the guy's reasoning because he just wants to change his wife, but I just wanted to point out how even more narrow minded he is because he doesn't realize red wedding dresses are traditional and widely accepted in many cultures.
@@blakelay I agree with you. Also, something to point out just how ignorant he is, white never symbolized purity. Queen Victoria started the white wedding dress trend for two reasons, 1. To revive the lace industry, 2. to show off wealth. Only the rich people could afford to wear white. Working class people would never buy something you can’t wear again. White is very difficult to keep clean and it yellows with age. It was the ultimate symbol of privilege and wealth, to buy a dress you will only wear once. The tradition in the West before that was to just wear your best Church dress (whatever colour you had) to your wedding.
@@hotjanuary Yes! I saw a few people mention this in the comments and I had heard of the history of the white wedding dress in a podcast a few years back! It's fascinating to see how royals and rich people used clothes for such political reasons and how it influenced so much!
@@blakelay yes, it’s also unfortunate that the trend stuck this deep and became some kind of stupid symbol of moral judgment on the bride. I have nothing against white, but I see some Western brides wanted to wear an actual colour (as they felt white wasn’t their style) and their families shamed them for wanting to be “weird” and not follow the white “tradition.” Like, excuse me? What tradition? It was a status symbol, and after the invention of photography, white photographed better as the quality of photography really sucked. People wanted nice wedding photographs. However, we have great cameras nowadays to preserve memories. Wear whatever dress you like. It will photograph just fine.
And if any of you bought a white dress you can’t wear again, you can always repurpose it if it’s not too voluminous and if you have a spirit that loves to explore arts and crafts. Dye is your best friend if the material is okay with water. Rit Fabric Dye’s website has colour formulas to get the exact colour you want. And a tailor can shorten it if it’s too long for events you go to.
As a wheelchair user I'm horrified with the ramp situation. I would never ask someone to alter THEIR house to accommodate me as a guest. The fact that she even offered to rent a ramp is so nice and more than I would expect
@@steph8030593 oh oops must've misheard have changed it now. Thanks for letting me know. But at least the message was the same 🙂
I use a wheelchair also and had the same thought.
I’m really glad to be able to see y’all’s thoughts. I was thinking if I was to ever be in a wheelchair I would feel the same way. I’m not in one though so I was hoping I would see someone who knows first hand. I think it depends on personality. The bride to be and some of the bridesmaids seemed snobby and manipulative. Hence why they were trying to rush the wedding before a prenup could be signed.
I’m a support staff for individuals with disabilities. And so I was absolutely sickened by what the cousins want to be bride said to her future husbands cousin. The people I support are all so different only one has been in s wheel chair and it happened gradually over time. We had to help hunt down a portable wheelchair ramp for the last apartment he stayed in because you know apartment complex’s are strict especially when it comes to building. I was skeptical of the ramp at first because I had at that point in my life never been around a portable wheelchair ramp but it’s soooo freaking cool that they have them and are coming up with more and more tools to make peoples lives better. I wish the best of luck and happiness to y’all. Keep on being the amazing people you are!! 😊
The fact that they don’t like the ramp and saying that they deserve better is the worst part for me, sure it is only a temporary ramp, but if it does the job then what’s the problem? You’ll be on it for all of a few seconds, if it is such an eyesore then they can take it away once the wheelchair is up. Does this wheelchair user expect every building she wants to go into to to be altered with ramps that are to the standard she “deserves”?
Amen to that! As someone who also uses a wheelchair was so disgusted by the entitlement of this bridesmaid. let alone the couple. I can't get into a lot of places but I would never be so entitled to say that a detachable ramp isn't up to my standards and what I feel I deserve. And if someone offered to rent a ramp for accommodations for me I would at least offer to pay! This one really ticked me off and when I heard the headline I seriously thought I would be mad at OP. Boy was I wrong.
With the first couple, my biggest concern would be her choice to handle conflict by packing up, going to her mother's and blocking his phone. Whether or not she truly wanted an honest answer is beside the point. There will be many more disagreement in the future, they've got to learn to communicate if they hope to make it work.
Nah, distance is good. Taking time to yourself to process feelings by yourself is great!
Because sometimes the alternative here is that they do a screaming fest about the dress where both sides end up crying and call off the wedding over every big and little thing when it could be talked about to come to a decision together. So, sometimes time and space is good in order to properly communicate. You know?
She behaves like a three year old.
THANK YOU , you don't know how long I was looking for this comment
@@scarlet16moons5 I agree that distance is good but storming off and blocking him is just immature. She should've just told him that she needs some alone time to process her thoughts and emotions. What would happen if in the future, they get into another argument and something happens and he needs to get ahold of her? Especially if they are having children in the future and sleep deprivation mixes with all the torment of taking care of a little human.
To me it just sounds like she wasn't sure about her choice and just impulse bought the dress and got a bit of a reality check after his answer. Doesn't mean it was good of him to say he completely didn't like the dress, but she probably just wanted him to reassure her and got disappointed.
I will say I hate the expectation that if I ask my fiancé for his honest opinion he needs to lie to me to spare my feelings like a child. If I ask for an opinion I want an honest opinion. If I want a compliment I’ll ask something like “doesn’t it make me look pretty?” He definitely didn’t need to go in depth like that it it was definitely harsh but her reaction was a lot. He should’ve just said the style isn’t his favorite but you look as beautiful as always and I’m happy you’re happy.
My thoughts too.
I’m autistic and I have fallen victim to the “I want your honest opinion” several times. This is something that really grinds my gears. If you genuinely want to hear someone’s opinion, then you need to accept that the opinion might be different to your own. Don’t ask questions where you might not like the answer! If just want validation for your own choice, then own it!
I don't think I'm autistic but I agree, why ask and then be offended when a person gives you what you asked for??
Same, friend! I get people mad at me a lot for this!
Same, I have a touch of the ’tism. I made that mistake once and never again! Any time anyone asks for my honest opinion I have to logic my way through the situation (disregarding the fact that they said they want my honest opinion) It got so tiring that now I automatically go for a comment sandwich and try to keep the critique to something they can fix or change. I think that the compliment sandwich technique really helps others realize that I’m not trying to hurt them or insult them but that I do care and am trying to help!
Edit: punctuation
I definitely agree 💯 Even though I don't think I'm autistic. I am going to tell anyone that asks my opinion the honest truth and why. I expect the same. When asking my husband for the truth. I tell him give me the brutal truth and thank him for it. Communication is key 🔑 💜
He did the right thing by asking if she wanted his honest opinion or just wanted to show him. SHE should have picked up on the social cue!
Can we just appreciate OP’s future MIL for calling her own son out in the last post?
Like that’s definitely a mother’s “I know I raised you better than that, so I think the fuck not, sir” energy right there.
And👏 we👏 love 👏 it👏👏👏👏
Not future mil anymore
@@duckeh1952 that wasn't OP's MIL, it was OP's aunt. So Still aunt. I was kinda surprised she called OP sister, but I guess this is how close these cousins are actually.
@@chaosgoettin I don't think you read their comment properly, they were referencing the last post about the asshole trying to shame his partner.
@@coffeekat5066 I admit, I was done eating and stopped at the first one. So MAYBE, MAYBE Not.
Lmao @ when he cried at not being a virgin anymore either 💀 wtf
That last story had an update. Two weeks later she made a post asking what should i wear on my first date after 6 years. So she broke it off, moved on, and got herself a date 2 weeks later. The writing must've been on the wall long before the white dress comment.
Must have! But good for her. I hope she had a good date and finds someone so much better for her
I’m in the minority but I am a FIRM believer in “don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.” She was warned, she insisted on his opinion, she got what she asked for.
I agree with you.
She should have asked before buying something that expensive with his money.
@@arianebolt1575 She shouldn't have asked at all.
@@Moravian_Mf "Hey, honey, did we budget for the dress?" Then have a conversation about it like grown adults.
@@arianebolt1575 The money is NOT the issue. The thing is, you can buy one dress. The price clearly is NOT an issue. If you don't have money for a dress, why have a wedding? Bro, just elope if you ain't got money.
The issue is that she either has to wear a dress her future husband dislikes or she has to buy new one and the expensive one will go to waste.
The last story reminded me of my step mother complaining that I was going to where white on my wedding when she was convinced I was having sex before marriage and was so upset about it that she refused to come and threatened to kick my father out if he attended (he literally showed up as I was getting ready to walk down to the wedding march.) Funny thing is, wasn't wearing white but Ivory because I wanted it to look vintage and aged. However it made me mad that this woman was married three times, cheated on every husband including my dad, and STILL wore white to every wedding she had.
Consider the source and put her out of your mind. She doesn’t sound like anyone I would take marriage advice from. 😉
The hypocrisy at the end just makes me so …. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Do as I say not as I do
✨✨projections✨✨
@@darcy5761 yeah and that doesn’t work for kids let alone adults!
I’ve heard that first one before, and this is my take:
The fiancé was super duper smart for asking if she wanted a real opinion and critique, or if she was just excited and wanted him to say he loves it. He clearly understands that sometimes when people ask what you think they’re really just looking for affirmation so kudos to him for that. She told him she wanted a critical opinion, not affirmation, so it’s really not fair for her to then get upset when that’s exactly what he gives her.
Had he not clarified what she wanted before she tried it on then I could get behind the “dude, she clearly just wants you to tell her how beautiful she is” thought, but he specifically made sure he wasn’t making that mistake. At a certain point she has to be a grown up; she asked for a totally honest critique, and he gave one, he can’t be called a crap bad for not sharing her opinion.
Yepp, I don't think it's right to call him stupid. He wasn't. He's also not the one who should appologize, she should be the one to do that and if she doesn’t I think he should really consider calling the whole thing off if he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life living with an entitled brat and a whole lot of misscommunication and drama
Exactly ! He was not the stupid one, and for Charlotte to also say he is shows she supports manipulative behavior.
Be a grown up, be an adult. If you want affirmation, you do not ask for an opinion. Tell me you’re manipulative without telling me you’re manipulative.
The bride should never have anyone! The groom is not wrong nor an idiot. In fact, he’s more rational then even Charlotte. Says enough. Yep, she’s got a potato brain for sure.
If you ask for an opinion when you just want to feel good, you need to close your mouth back and do some rethinking and learning some life lessons. Affirmation or good comments does not mean automatically ask for an opinion.
It shouldn’t even be considered if someone asks an opinion, what are they really asking. If anyone gets mad after asking for an opinion, even at a funeral, then you are the one in full wrong! Nobody else. Reading a Webster dictionary isn’t hard folks, opinion does not mean compliment! Reality and logic!
She told him to be honest and that's what he did!
To her, opposite day is everyday.
He clearly said he thinks she looks pretty in almost everything. He was obviously listening to her and knew her vision for what she wanted for the wedding.
All he was pointing out was that the dress she picked took away from the beauty he knew she could be and that the style was very different from everything she said she originally wanted.
From this she decides to act like a child.. run away and BLOCK him-
She asked him to be honest and then punished him for it… yeah… real mature on her part.
He has nothing to apologize for. SHE has a few different things to say sorry for though.
@@SeriousSara1 this this this. If you know you love something don’t go looking for other peoples opinions because they might not agree with you!
And he gave her an out too, he said he would give her affirmation if that’s what she wanted and then she SPECIFICALLY said she wanted a critique. This “oh foolish man you should know that women don’t really mean what they say” mentality is such a sexist, archaic way of thinking and I was honestly super surprised to see Charlotte having that take
The story about the person with autism is the first story I’ve heard where the family is actually supportive of the OP and I’m really happy about it. Like most of these stories, OP is the one that treated like crap by their family for not agreeing to whatever the toxic family member ask for or toxic person asked for and I’m so glad it ended well for them
Last guy is so misinformed on the color virginity thing anyways, like pure white is the color that virgins wear when you’re not a virgin it’s an off-white color what an idiot he’s definitely holding against her what happened in her past and he needs to shut up and sit down, and she definitely should not marry him
@@gabriellacorrea5846 I hope she doesn’t. And his statement on the red wedding dress becomes invalid when you look into red wedding dress in other cultures. Red is considered a lucky colour for China. I know it is not valid here, but it’s just something that I am aware of.
Yesss. I'm autistic. I love to see it. What the fiancee was really saying was "I'm doing you a favor treating you with basic human decency, because it's more than you deserve." What a callous, ableist woman. And then the sheer audacity of saying the autistic woman is the ableist one 🤮
The red dress story raises a forest of red flags redder than the dress Ryan wants her to wear.
1 if his colleagues at work said she should wear red, does that mean that Ryan was discussing OP's virginity with his fellow workers?! 😱
2 he thinks that she should wear red so as not to "deceive his guests" but that it's okay for him to deceive them? Double standards, oh please!
If I was his mother I'd die of shame having raised a son so exist.
Run, girl run, raise the white flag.
Keep his mom tho
I think the worst part of the first story was that the bride spent 9k on a gown on HIS credit card without having mentioned anything about it. No matter how wealthy you are, as part of a couple if you're going to drop nearly ten thousand dollars it's probably a good idea to at least let your partner know. Especially on a single wear dress. That paired with her running away and blocking the guy just smacks of immaturity and communication issues.
When I heard the price of the dress, I decided the bride was the asshole
Idk...it sounds like she was given that leeway, though that's a very high price.
I am the sort of person who brags that there were TWO sales...my dress was from last season and the who store had a 20% off sale! 🎉
And I was also certain that I would like this one dress, but it looked awful on me. Sometimes that happened.
Exactly!! I don't care what the situation was...I would NEVER spend that much money ( mine or his) without keeping him completely in the loop. That's ridiculous.
Haven't thought about that, but that's a good pint
Totally agree. At the end of the day, getting married should be what is important, not a dress! The rest of your lives, not one day.
to the woman with the red dress story! my mother always said "no one is born the minute you meet them" so to be mad at someone for things they did in their past when they didn't even know you is ridiculous we all have history and part of loving someone is accepting them as they are when they come into your life.
Love the emojis you used! How did you get them?
@@ia490 probably using a desktop computer
awesome saying!
The last guy needs to realize that, these days, the chances of a woman in a white wedding dress being a virgin are very small. And most people know that. There is no deceit going on whatsoever.
I can understang some people valuing virginity in a future spouse. But he already decided to marry her, so he should get over it already. If it was really such a problem for him, why would he even ask to marry her in the first place?
(Also side note: For any men who need to hear this, if you expect a chaste woman, you better be chaste yourself. No, it's not "different for men". Chaste women want a chaste man. If you won't be chaste, then chaste women won't want you. Just saying.)
Also they were living together so unless I miss my guess he knew she was not a virgin!
People should also know that white dress=virgin is a myth and was never the intention of a white dress. It's from Queen Victoria's wedding, and the white and lace is just a flex about having a super expensive dress you can only wear once, because at the time it was almost impossible to return whites to their whitest. It caught on because people wanted to be like the Queen, before that you would just wear a nice dress that you might have already owned.
The dumb thing is, it's not even about purity. Queen Victoria wore white on her wedding to show off her owning a whole dress that she would only wear once. That was how the white dress started. Then noble ladies all were doing it to follow in her foot steps. People never learn history man...they too fucking lazy to learn this shit.
"Men, if you want a chaste woman, you better be chaste yourself. Chaste women want chaste men. A virgin does not want a person who has shared their body with the whole block/city/state/country/continent/planet. No it ain't different for men. Please stop believing that lie. A whore is a whore, no matter the gender." AMEN!!!!!! A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Exactly. My husband had way more partners than I did. If I’m wearing red so is he
Story 2. I found my wedding dress in a Chary shop for 15 euros!!! It wasn't in the condition or style I was imagined to be but i have seen the potential. I bought it and renovated it myself. I had my own designs drawn in a textbook, but at the end I just went with the flow and turned out just perfect and the best thing is my fiance seen the whole process and because he's a man, he doesn't really have an opinion about dresses and fashion. He just says until I feel happy I will be the most beautiful bride in the world for him. I agree ❤
Charity shop, sorry my phone corrected it 😂
As someone with autism whose siblings (half of them, anyways) always treated me like a disappointment, a burden, and like I could just throw out my autism when things were hard, I am SO happy for the second OP having their family on their side, and for letting the groom know his bride was manipulative and crazy.
My younger 2 children have autism and all 3 kids are very protective of each other. If they find anyone bullying their siblings, they will make that person know to leave their brother/sister alone immediately.
@@dianaquick8883 sounds like you’re raising some great kids!
Yea..that’s crap. I am sorry that happened to you..as a person with autism and autistic kids and an autistic parent.
My baby brother has autism and I would 100% come to his defense no matter what. Your not a burden, to me your more awesome!
I have Asperger's autism and my family treats me like I'm a scape goat I put up with them gaslighting me and my mom. they used us for our kindness we had to part from the toxic members ..they get so jealous that they try to pull you down with them if you don't do what they want unfortunately.. sending love💓💓💓
I'm happy that the groom admitted that he was wrong and realized his fiancé wad manipulating him. It takes years for people to get out of that situation. Glad the whole family was supportive of OP
Same! Also, op really just saved him. Married in less than a week with no prenup? Yikes.
The first one. We are just gonna act like whole blocking your fiancé is okay? I get leaving and needing a moment. But like. Blocking your fiancé? No. No. Not okay.
Why is no one else saying this.
bc people are thinking that OP did something awful (not imo) so they ignore her childish manner of handling conflict.
That was my first thought too. Like my fiance and I have gotten in some pretty big arguments and sure, sometimes you need to sleep it off or take a couple hours to think but you don't just dissapear and refuse to talk
@@tcullen2283 exactly. I have to spin around adjust my tone. Come back to the convo with a different light on. But absolutely not leaving with no way to contact one another. And this is their first big fight??? This. Is not. A BIG marital issue. Sooooooo
AND putting $9000 on his credit card
NOOOOOO IN THAT LAST STORY AS SOON AS SHE READ THAT THE OP WAS TOLD TO WEAR RED I GOT AN AD FOR A RED VELVET OREO SHAKE IM DYING 😭😂
Perfect timing 👌
As a wheelchair user, it really hurts and sucks to not be able to attend events because of missing ramps etc. However, this is 100% not the OPs issue and is 100% the responsibility of the bride and groom as they need to be accommodating to all guests.
Plus he even offered to help with a rental ramp. And even to have one built by the contractor he is working with. He was definitely not intending to exclude the bridesmaid.
The bridesmaid is also a bit of a bitch about it tbh, like i understand it's hard to get around with a wheelchair but she can't be going to a wedding at a private location, that happenes to be somebody's literal house and then demand a ramp be constructed just for her instead of a removable one because she "deserves better accomodation" like... sis... it's SOMEONE'S HOUSE.
Someone who was even willing to hire a contractor in the first place but it turned out these things take time and cost a lot of money. Just take the damn temporary ramp wtf.
My MIL actually went out & bought my wedding dress WITHOUT ME. An cream/off-white colored dress, not an actual wedding dress either just an almost floor length gown. She said she didn't get a white one since I already had a child from my previous relationship. I didn't say anything then & wore the dress because at the time my hudband & I were just going to go to the courthouse but she wanted the church wedding so ya know...whatever. Although several years later we were all talking about what we would do differently at our weddings & my petty self said "Pick out my own dress". 🤣Que the shocked face on my MIL.
$9,000 for a wedding dress?! I just can't wrap my head around the fact that anyone would spend THAT much on a dress that will most likely be worn only once.
AND...he paid for it!! When did the groom start paying for the dress? I was very firm that I paid for my own dress and the alterations. Ended up being less than a grand.
I paid $600 for mine and luckily it didn't need any alterations because it fit perfectly. It just needed to be cleaned and have some beads replaced. I just got super lucky with my dress! It was the second one I tried on, fit perfectly and was cheap! And it's been in a cleaner's bag in my closet for 20 years 🤣
@@Claudia-lq3ns OP said in the thread that his gran gave him $200k strictly for the wedding. Apparently both the families are pretty well off
Mine was $400! AND had pockets! AND I had it made so that I could wear it anytime I went to the temple! AND hope to be buried it it some day! 😆 Because I hate expensive dresses that can only be worn once. It is my favorite dress and SO comfy! Also, still fits me even though I changed sizes, I was not expecting the sleeves to still fit, but the fabric it super forgiving.
@@ThatOneLadyOverHere Are you LDS? If so me too!
For the first story, it reminds me of when I worked in a high end women's clothing store. I sometimes used to coach boyfriends/husbands on "acceptable" things to say. Generally a compliment on her taste or looks followed by a mild critique. Phrases like "It's pretty but I don't think that cut fits you well" or "You can make anything look good but I don't think it will go with anything else".
The last story had a huge update when I read it on reddit.
The grooms mom took the brides side and asked if he was also going to be wearing a red suit as he was not a virgin either.
He broke down into tears and claimed that "its not the same for men" 🤦♀️😳
Last I read the wedding was off.
But i haven't looked for more updates lately.
Misogyny at its finest folks 🤣
Yea that part was in the story Charlotte read...
Wow when I heard this i felt sick. It is bad enough that some religions still treat women so badly, blaming them for anything and everything, for being alive, for having a brain, for being female etc. But having this kind of mysogynistic, insulting, judgemental treatments from not religious people is horrible. I had hoped, that times have gotten better for women at least in some countries. This, more than anything, shows that men still think they own a woman as an object, not a person. Because why else would you care if its "used".
thank God it's off! She dodged a bazooka
@@endlessstudent3512 He's like those self-righteous men of Gilead in Handmaid's tale. Heck, they rape a woman once a month for being fertile and his wife gets to steal the baby if there are any, and they call it holy and the fertile woman's sole purpose of existing. That show shows the horrors of misogyny if it ruled a country.
@@ember13dp I know I thought there was a dif update
My Late Husband was very good with his words when I’d ask his opinion on my clothes. He would tell me all the time I was beautiful but I did always want his 100% honest opinion especially being as self conscious as I am, so he would say things like, “You look beautiful but I’m not sure you’d be comfortable in that” or “I like that, but do you love it?” He just really knew me and would make sure to reassure me I was beautiful no matter what, then he would find a “softer” way to let me know it wasn’t the best choice. Also, I would try to not put him in a position that could cause an issue. For example, I would get multiple outfits, then do a “fashion show” and he’d rank the outfits. We just made sure to never set each other up for “failure.” We worked as a Team and I truly valued his opinions and he valued mine.
This is beautiful and the fact that you guys would work as a team and take each other’s feelings into account to build your bond instead of tearing it down is what any couple should hope for // I love this ❤
my partner sounds like your late husband, very honest but knows how to say it without critiquing the person- thus making the process of buying or picking stuff easy and fun
Yeah, My husband used to say (we've been married 17 years) ' that looks nice, but I've seen other things that make you look even better'. I say used to because I have now come to trust what he says, and he never says I look bad, just makes suggestions for improvement, and I have always looked better for his suggestions. I also never buy anything without his input.
As for my wedding dress, it was a ballgown rather than a wedding dress, and he said I looked beautiful, although I would have looked beautiful in a bin bag as it is me that is beautiful and me he was marrying, not the dress.
Your husband sounds like a great man, sorry that he is departed from this world ❤
I’m actually *applauding* that first man for even having that much insight and opinion on the wedding theme/design. The man’s feedback was not only honest but *constructive* criticism comparing the dress to the bride’s theme.
Look, if you ask for someone’s honest opinion, then the filter comes off, don’t get upset when he gives you what you verbally asked for. If you want the quick compliment then just throw out a general “isn’t it pretty?”
Same here. She wanted an opinion. He stated what he thought!
I was considering getting a floofy dress just because I wanted a dress (not a wedding, I was just tired of only wearing jeans) and I asked my friend to come with me because he’s really good at figuring out what looks good on someone. When I showed him the dress I liked, he said, “Absolutely not. It washes you out too much.” He was right…
He did help me find a dark green dress that actually looks pretty good on me!
He did NOTHING wrong.
Her reaction was WAY too big! To block his number over that is too much. Her ability to cope is no buneo. He did nothing wrong. She is the one in the wrong esp for asking for the honest truth. She needs self reflection. Good luck to them.
@@NvrDieNvrSurrender Right?? The communication issues here are actually pretty concerning…this doesn’t sound like someone you can easily collaborate with as a partner.
I could not agree more.
I love the family of the cousin with the house needing a ramp - all so supportive and ready to go into battle including her cousin/the fiance - yay family!
That last story…RUN and don’t stop!
That level of insecurity and dare I say controlling behavior over their partner is some MAJOR red flags. Would for sure only get worse over time.
Need to drop those kinda of people like a sack of potatoes.
Had a friend marry a guy who was super insecure.The groom and I had the same first name and he threw a fit saying he didn't know if she was thinking about me when she says his name. He had other issues, all well. Always accusing her of cheating and even trying to kill her once when he was drunk and thought she was sleeping around on him.
But, she married him. Feom what I've gathered from friends, she's not happy. We haven't spoken since before the wedding when she said he didn't want her talking to me anymore. We'd known each other for 10 years at that point.
Red dress for the red flags - seems to fit pretty well :P but in all seriousness you're right - get out before it's too late
He will be more controlling once she becomes his wife. He will think he now owns her!
@@JasonON pretty sad, vastly expected, and quite worrying for her future...
I feel sorry for her. It's easy to get manipulated by a crazy mofo I guess :/
Drop it in a lake, then 🤷🏻♀️
It was very immature of the bride in the first story to block op's phone number.
If you're upset, just say you need time to cool off and will respond to any messages sometime later, and won't be staying the night.
Yeah, the lack of clear and mature communication is a huge red flag on her part tbh
I see many phone blockings in OP's future if they don't iron things out. I get hearing your future husband doesn't like your wedding dress might deeply sting, but you can excuse yourself to cool off, not run to your mom's house and block his number.
But then people react differently to various situations🤷🏾♀️
@@Cr0ut0n yes I agree with you. It's going to be a common theme of her running to her mom every time she gets in her feelings. He needs to think about that before he marries her. Also how she just spends 9k on HIS card without asking( a downpayment on a house) is a HUGE red flag to me😬
Seriously. She seems so immature. The fact she blocked him over that, and the fact that she asked for an opinion she knew she didn't want to hear. The groom lucked out. He'd be walking on eggshells during their entire marriage, and the bride would never learn to grow up and communicate like an adult.
If he's smart, he will call off the wedding. This kind of immature behavior does NOT improve after the wedding. I wish I had paid attention to the red flags before I got married. The divorce cost a helluva lot more than the wedding... but it was worth every penny to get him out of my life after 15 years of trying to make it work by losing my self worth.
For the last story, if anyone is interested they broke up. She had another post some weeks later on a different subreddit asking for advice on her first date after so many years
Thank you for updating 😊
Good for her!
Good! I wish her luck! I’m glad she got out of that one!
Whenever I think of a red wedding dress I think of an old "Laverne and Shirely" episode in which Shirely needs to borrow a wedding dress to pose as a bride and and their frequently-married landlady offers her dresses and states "I have everything from 'virginal white' to 'here we go again red.'"
The first story…. Homeboy was set up to fail. She should’ve said “I want your opinion, but if you don’t like it, you better lie” (maybe that’s just me 😂) but also, the bride running out and acting like a toddler by blocking him? That marriage was doomed anyway, clear communication issues 😂
Yeah, it feels like a dude moment. The guy didn't know what his fiancé wanted to hear because he is a dude. Not his fault at all that he isn't a telepath like the rest of us girls. Fiancé was super entitled, especially when he said that he thought she was very pretty but that it didn't fit the theme.
He gave clear communication with honesty... and now he's the bad guy for it.
i mean
even if the guy was slightly rude (which i think he was but everyone can have their own opinion on it) the bride's immature reaction just... so vastly overshadows it.
I tell my husband I need his honest opinion because HE'S the one that has to see me in it, HE'S the one eating that food with me, HE'S the one living in that decorated house with me.
@@andreachilton6037 and that's fine. that's good.
But unlike the bride in the video you should be ready to deal with his honest opinion, then.
When I went to buy my wedding dress with my mom, she kept saying over and over "You're not getting a white dress, right?" and I KNEW it wasn't a purity thing because she's not like that so finally when I picked the dress, she said, "What color?" and I said, "Off white" (that slightly bone color that's not stark white) and she said, "Oh thank goodness, I thought you were going to get a dress that was going to compete with you for who is paler." So there's that. The whiter the dress, the whiter you look. And I'm starting at shade 0 as it is. I wish she had just told me why up front because I had this whole speech about how many guys I slept with worked out in my head. But it wasn't that. I'm just too pale for white.
I look like a zomby in white and would never consider pure white... But yeah she could have given her reasoning and seriously, pretty much no one who marries in white is a virgin anyway
Or you're pale with a warm undertone? People with cool undertones look good in white, warm undertones look good in off white and cream. White makes me look sickly.
That was my mom with her wedding gown and that was me with mine! I didn’t want to look dead 😂
she may have think with all that going on you wouldn't get the point right away, hopefully it seems that haven't ruin your confidence and your relationship :) wish you more happy days.
Lol, sounds like she completely forgot to convey her whole message. My entire family tends to do this, where we are all mind readers and don't fully interpret something and then have to step back to explain how on earth we got from A to Z-6 lol
3rd story update: SHE BROKE OFF AN ENGAGEMENT (info from her other reddit post about dating advice)
What a relief, love that for her
I was someone who tried on several dresses and even thought I had found the one I was absolutely going to wear when I had just a few left to try on. The bridal dress attendee (I’m so sorry I don’t know their official title, but they are so wonderful) was excited with me and we tried on a couple more that weren’t as good as the one I was certain I was getting. I had just one more dress to try on. She said we might as well because even though we already had one picked out, it couldn’t hurt and worst case would only solidify my original choice for me. When I tell you that as soon as I saw myself in that very last dress, as soon as I saw the faces of my parents, especially my dad, and my maid of honor we all knew it was THE ONE. I can’t explain it, it was very similar in style to the other one we had picked, but this one had sleeves and something about the way it fit on my body was straight up magical. It looked like it was made for me and since it was the very last dress and was almost like the throw away “it’ll just solidify your other choice” I stand by to this day that it was absolutely meant to be. You never know how much your ideas will change once you start to actually try those dresses on and see yourself in them and see the people you love looking at you in total silence with tears in their eyes because THAT dress is The One.
When the room goes silent with everyone is looking at you in a sort of dazed awe or are smiling, yep, you've exceeded yourself.
OP in story 2 was so set on making sure the bridesmaid could be accommodated safely that it made me want to cry when they were treated so poorly for being a considerate human being. Glad the family had their back because unfortunately, many families don’t.
Not that it makes much difference but the op is female
My Aunt wore a lovely red dress at her wedding. The groom also wore red. It wasn’t a symbolism thing (as far as I know) but the family associates her with ladybugs so it was just fitting for her to be in a red dress and it suited her well.
People get SOOOO hung up on a white bridal gown. It’s so refreshing to hear of a bride and groom doing what works for them! Sounds like it was beautiful 😊❤
@Monica Barnett She married her high school sweetheart in the woods and he sang to her so, yes, it was a beautiful wedding.
That's really cute aww
Imagine them as a little old ladybird couple on their wedding anniversary 😭
My mum also wore red to her wedding with my dad in 97.
That is so cute! ❤️
Did anyone notice in the first story he said this was their "first fight"? That was the most concerning part to me. Couples fight and disagree when they communicate. Im concerned they have never really communicated with one another
that and it was also HIS credit card that paid for that dress
@@mrsk8383 With no idea about the cost beforehand so it doesn't sound like they discussed budget and ok'd this 😅
@@TesriaT exactly !. He gave her the card, thinking she would have some sort of financial sense not to go overboard and was probably thinking she would only spend about $2,000 or even less. With the bride , she mostly was like, he gave me the card didn’t tell me a price, so I’m going to get the most expensive dress , that wouldn’t decline the card. Sounds like they rarely talked about a budget for the wedding or even just financial budgets in general of every day expenses.
While I agree in this instance that concerned me, I don't agree that "couples fight" when they communicate. You can disagree, yes, but fighting... no. I have been married to my husband for 6 years, together for 12, and we have NEVER fought. We disagree, we share our sides, we make concessions, and a hell of a lot of the time we stop and go "Ah, we're not finding a middle ground this time. Okay, agree to disagree! Whatcha wanna eat?"
But, for me, the MOST concerning fact of that story was that she ran away AND BLOCKED HIM? What kind of actual fuckin' child is she? I'd be postponing the wedding indefinitely at that point if I were the OP, because, that is NOT how you handle ANY disagreement, let alone something as childish as being given two choices, making a choice, and then deciding you didn't like the outcome of that choice and blaming it on the person that gave you the OPTION for what you ACTUALLY wanted to begin with.
And that she responded by blocking his number. Not a great sign for future potential conflicts.
"Unga bunga intensifies" was a freakin' hilarious line. I laughed pretty hard at that one.
Update on last story from her profile:
Ended the engagement and was asking for advice on what to wear to her first date with a new guy. Nothing further on this acct and posts are from 3months ago as of now. Happy for her!!
Thank you. This is what I was looking for. I knew some good person would post the final for us.
well surely she can't wear white on her first date with a new guy. Because she's not "pure", you know. Maybe she should wear red.
THANK GOD
The guy was a fool, them by his logic they would not have had sex the whole relationship till the wedding.
Absurd.
I'm glad she moved on to better things.
Second Story: love how you were right about the rushed wedding being a red flag. 😂
I’m autistic so it about pissed me off when the fiancée tried calling op an ableist while insulting them for their own disability.
Agree with op on not wanting to rush making the ramp. If rushed too fast there is no telling if the ramp will be safe enough for any wheelchair users. Something bad could’ve happened and then the Bride probably would’ve blamed op for any accidents.
As a wheelchair user I 100% agree.
You should 100% never rush construction. A shoddy product has potentially dangerous consequences. This is non negotiable.
This was my thought as well as op would be on hook for legal and medical bills if something bad happened.
Even as a non autistic person, I read that part was like "oh fuck off." Personally that part I really found annoying about the ramp was they were making these kind of insane demands about it but then thought he should be the one to pay for it. That's just like influencer stereotype levels of entitled.
Yeah, it seemed ridiculous to call them ablest when they'd offered two ramp options (they could have one built if given more time, or they could rent one). The fact that the OP was willing to pay for a ramp at all for their guest shows they were incredibly accommodating.
My oldest daughter eloped yesterday and I love her for it! I’m not sure it’s an actual elopement since we all knew her and her fiancé were going to do it just not when and none of us were invited. They are having a big informal outdoor reception in October for all of us to celebrate with them. Sarah just wanted to avoid the stress and cost of a wedding. It was perfect for them. She did use a photographer and the pictures are stunning.
My oldest daughter eloped in Vegas in 2019. It was so completely her, no one knew or was told until afterwards. It was a bit shocking to be honest, but it is her life and her marriage and her choice. And her hubby's, obviously.
It sounds like you have raised a wise, level-headed daughter who has her priorities in order. Now she gets to enjoy her wedding reception party without the stress of dealing with guest list seatings, expensive venues, and extra drama on the day of her personal exchange of vows with her beloved. It's much more fun to have a reception when the bride and groom aren't overwhelmed and exhausted. Also, everyone can dress comfortably and wear their sensible shoes. 👟
Congratulations to your daughter and your newest family member! May you all have many years of love and happiness.
I wanted to do this, oh mother was a massive pain in my ass, always, and looking back I'd have called it all off if I'd known how many arguments she caused!
Hell yeah.... I would give my kid cash money to skip the crazy expensive wedding and use that money toward something more useful (house, car, debt, whatever). Your daughter made a smart choice. I'm stunned when people spend ONE - TWO YEARS planning a wedding. Shell out tens of thousands of dollars for an event that lasts less than 12 hours start to finish.
Watching this the second time was even more enjoyable than the the first!!! Charlotte’s incredulity at some people’s behavior is absolutely hilarious!!!!
“Look at my wife, the w****. See her walk. Revel in her w****ness.”
I lost it 😂😂😂😂😂 You’re able to capture the WTF outrage you’re feeling in such a genuinely funny way.
I died laughing nearly non-stop there! Wahahahaha!!
I lost it too had rewind to watch it again class😂😂😂
I lost it on that part too 🤣
My soon to be husband and I are both autistic and have deadbeat families. Needless to say, wedding planning has been like pulling teeth. The dress shopping has been the easiest part. I got exactly what I wanted almost instantly. A beautiful embroidered Sleeping Beauty style wedding dress.
Good for you! Best of luck with the rest of your wedding planning ❤️
As much as there’s some “tradition” in having family be involved in wedding planning, I sincerely think it’s best to let the couple decide on the majority of what goes on- in the end, it’s your wedding, not your family’s wedding. My only piece of advice: know when to cut your losses
Hi, I agree with Pixl. If your family isn't willing to be there for you or keep you from having the wedding you want, it might be best to not invite them to the wedding. Maybe just do close friends? You could even do a small intimate court wedding and then do a preferable reception with all your close friends or even save all the money for a preferable honeymoon or vacation. Make it your day, love. Best of luck!
Have a wonderful wedding day❤ My aunt gave me a great piece of advice on my wedding day "never go to bed on an argument ". We have just celebrated our Ruby wedding anniversary & I hope you have a long & happy marriage like we've had. Yes we've had rough times but we are a team & worked to get through them
Update on the last story: She broke off the engagement! Also, she has already moved on and has re-entered the dating scene! 😊
The daughter of a colleague wore a red ball gown to a Vegas wedding. It was spectacular!!!!! Just beautiful. So context is everything here.
I'm still stuck on the fact that she charged $9000 to his credit card! Is it normal for the groom to pay for the wedding dress?! I thought the bride or her family was responsible for that... And nine grand! For a dress you're gonna wear once!? I'm shook at that.
It's very not normal, no! A custom gown can be as little as a NINTH of the cost of that. 1/9. I assume it's probably designer or used leavers lace (very expensive to do, only old machines can do it, they aren't up kept anymore, and it takes years to learn how to run)
legit was going to comment this as well. If I was the groom I would have ended it right there and then finding out she paid 9k for a freaking dress.
Some grooms do if they're super well off. But, its not normal at all.
Well, if they agreed, that’s how they spent their money, it’s okay. Maybe he earns much more or maybe she’s a housewife. Nothing wrong with that. Everything else isn’t okay, though…
Considering how she handles her emotions as a presumed "adult" I'm having trouble believing she understands the full picture of what's weird with silently charging someone else's credit card.
My bride actually did wear red on our wedding, but that is because we had a cosplay wedding with a Princess Bride theme. She was Buttercup, I was Wesley (Dread Pirate Roberts), and we truely enjoyed our "Mawage. That bwessed awangement." There was even a hill behind the church that she pushed me down.
That is totally awesome! Best movie ever! Twue Wove.
That is an amazing wedding!
That is hands down amazing!! You guys win the wedding game. Did you then leave all other pure kisses in the dust?
@@TheBaumcm well, i might be a bit biased.
Love it! You are bound for a long and happy marriage 😊
I wore a burgundy wedding dress and LOVED it. And the idea of the "white dress" did NOT come from purity. It came from Queen Victoria. Back when she she was queen, wearing white was a status symbol in the aspect of how hard it was to keep clean and bc she had LOTS of money she said she wanted a white dress and didn't care if it got dirty or not not bc she could afford to just throw it out. And from there it has just grown into what it is today... Moral of the story WEAR WHATEVET COLOR YOU WANT FOR YOUR DAY!!!
Yes! I'm wearing a wedding dress with color and I'm very excited about it! We're incorporating the color into the theme, and I'm so excited!! So, yes, wear colours! Wear what you want! Tis your wedding, wear whatever color you want
Yep! My wedding dress was yellow. It was a vintage, yellow, midi-length, close-fitting dress. I got married at age 48. 👍
I wore a burgundy red as well, and I have no regrets. Our theme was burgundy/red, black and silver. The 'usual' aesthetics for a wedding wouldn't have fit either of us. Honestly if I could do it over, I'd probably wear the same shade, or even a dark purple or black! It's meant to be -your- day, not anyone elses. Do what makes you happy.
She will never forget this! This is her wedding. This will fester and grow. It will be bad, bad, and more bad for him on each anniversary. Poor guy!
When I was wedding dress shopping I was convinced I would get a short 1950s style tea dress as I love 50s fashion, and that is what EVERYONE expected, I tried on and fell in love with a grecian goddess style dress, it was a cream colour, with little pearls around the neckline and had this beautiful silk train from the back of the dress, it was figure hugging and I couldn't believe how good it looked! It had a sexy slit up the side, not slutty but sexy! I had a flower crown too, my husbands jaw literally fell to the floor when he saw me and I felt amazing! I never thought I would've gone for that style but it actually fit my wedding so well! I wore a dream catcher necklace and was a Boho goddess!
Wow! 🤩👍
Regarding the last story.
The church at Chesterfield in the UK, is famous for its crooked spire. Legend has it that a virgin was getting married, and the spire leaned over to see her arrive because it had never happened before.
I've been married twice. First one, I wore my mother's white wedding dress from her wedding. It was wonderful, but the wedding was a mistake. Divorced 4 years later.
Second wedding - my hubs & I planned and paid for everything. I had a custom-designed RED dress made by a friend, because red is my favorite color! Could not have been happier! ❤❤❤
And we're still together 14 years later!
8:54 so its not that he doesnt WANT to make it wheelchair accessible, he literally cant because the contractor doesnt have time.. he offered to buy a ramp himself but that wasnt good enough... they want to be picky about the ramp but they want HIM to pay for it when its not his wedding and the wheel chair user isnt his friend??? that is INSANE.. NOT the A-hole
We love when Charlotte is right, too! 🎉 Also, this whole thing about the bride not being “pure” is such a giant load of 💩.and that bride should call off the wedding: like Charlotte said! 👍🏻
The red dress is a red flag!
Crying about his mother pointing out that he's not a virgin is enough to raise Sigmund Freud from the grave.
@@lotstodo That's what I said! Lol
@@funnyusername8635 Underrated 😂 I'm dying
Yeah, homegirl needs to run for it. Not walk, RUN!!
When OP's future MiL asked "Since *you're* not pure either, Son, maybe *you* should wear red, too." and BF *cried...* - MiL is the 🏆!
Keep her and ditch the BF, OP.
And we love you, Charlotte! 😙
The red wedding dress story made me laugh, because my sister decided on a red wedding dress for her wedding...not because it had any symbolism....but just because she just really liked the dress and the colour. She told us bridesmaids to wear any black dress we wanted and we all looked great. Everybody loved her red dress...nobody complained and everyone had a great time. Nobody thought red was any type of symbolism...she just wanted to wear a red dress...simple as that.
Sound great. I also had a red wedding dress and my maids of honour wore black. It was stylish and gorgeous ❤️❤️❤️
red is also a lucky color in many cultures. The white wedding dress is a fairly modern invention in most countries. In China, traditionally red is a wedding color. Brings luck. In some regions in my country, at one point, brides wore black. In other regions, they wore colorfully embroided traditional dresses. The white dress idiocy came much later.... and now there are brides even who get angry if you attend her wedding in a white dress :D
I want a red dress too 💃
😊reminds me of the bit in the golden girls where when asked why she wore a red dress to her wedding Blanche replied 'Honey, not even I could have kept a straight face if I'd worn white'
E wants to wear white and since the groom and his friends and family say red because she is not "pure" Everyone there will think that long before they say she looks good in red.
OMG, my hubby would NEVER say ANYTHING but "you look beautiful" and never tell me he hated it or anything negative. (We've been married 35 yrs now) Since our wedding, he has ALWAYS maintained his... want to please me, when I ask for any fashion opinion (I rarely do now, because I've learned over time to only buy what is super flattering on me), he'll always say "you look great" or "Love that colour on you, fits you nicely". That's it. 🤷♀💞 We are now 60, and when i'm feeling insecure with the way i look, he still sees me. ♥
And, so, the superstition of "It's bad luck to let the groom see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding," is totally true.
More like it's bad luck to spend 9000 bucks on a dress BEFORE you ask if your fiancé even likes it lmao
I’d make her pay me back for it. As a former almost bride I paid for my dress, a whopping $500 give or take. Why is the dude paying for her dress? And why in the hell would she pick something that is that expensive. Then to run off to mommy’s because he said he didn’t like it is stupid as well. I’m just an old crusty spinster who thinks some of this stuff is stupid lol.
On the other hand, it may be good luck. I mean cancelling a wedding is expensive and no joke but it's lot cheaper than divorce.
yep, plus it's fun. you want to see him surprised by how beautiful his bride is.
What struck me about the last story is that he said he talked to his coworker before deciding she shouldn't wear white ? Like the dude talked to his co-worker about his fiancé's sex life ?? MAJOR Red Flag !
Exactly, and what co workers would give him this advice? They MUST not have relationships themselves. I don't know any man or woman who would tell an engaged man everyone must know his partner isn't pure !
Charlotte fumbling her words bc she’s excited about the drama is my favorite!! lol I’ve been binge watching your channel for weeks now & the fact that this is ONE OF THE ONLY times I’ve seen her fumble her words & everything is hilarious and mind blowing to me!! 😂🤣
Don't know if anyone posted this yet but"impure bride" did actually dump him and posted a few weeks later about going on a first date after 6 years so happy ending. ☺️
Good to know. Thanks for for sharing.
When I got married, dress shopping was something I did with my mom, my aunt (her identical twin sister who is like another mom), and my maid of honor. I knew I had the perfect dress when I saw tears in my mom’s eyes and she is not an overly emotional person. We bought it immediately and my husband didn’t see it until the day of the wedding and he loved it as well. And now it’ll be ten years in June since we got married.
My dress shopping? Mom had gone to local clothing that just had regular dresses, she spotted white dress in half price rack and called me said it's my size. I drove there, tried it on. Said this is fine I'll take it. 99€
Happy early anniversary to both of you. Here's to many happy years together.
Going on 10 years because your husband was smart enough to _say_ he loved it! 😂
that first story is the whole reason why i'm getting my future husband to go dress shopping with me. it won't be just MY big day, it'd also be HIS. he may envision a completely different look for me on our special day and it'd make me feel so bad if he never tells me his true thoughts.
^ Keeper
First story - I don't get why some people are saying the groom was in the wrong. If my SO lied to me and let me prance about in something that looked ridiculous *after* asking him for honesty, that would 100% be more offensive and disappointing. Guess the moral is, don't ask someone for their honest opinion unless you're actually willing to value and appreciate it.
My cousin's fiancé and his family insisted that she wear a red bow on the back of her dress to show her impurity. She didn't know that they wanted her to wear it right untill she was completely dressed and almost ready to walk down the aisle. I told her that I would have walked away then. But she stayed and actually wore it! They divorced about 6 months into the marriage, mostly due to his family.
Omfg... what is with people and this whole purity shit still going strong in this day and age... I'd tell them to shove their misogynistic opinions back up their ar*es and f*ck off
@@dreadsndogs4406 absolutely! I felt so bad for her. She was in a whole different state. Our family had already had them a very nice wedding. His family refused to attend. Basically they bullied her into it. She vowed never to put herself in that situation again!
My husband is sooooo brutally honest... after 10 yrs. Of marriage I've learned to straight up say...I want you to compliment me while giving me your opinion haha or I actually want an honest opinion or give me your opinion without all the knit picky detailed criticism etc...
*ADVICE FOR GIRLS* : be EXTREMELY clear and honest about what you want and expect and feel. Don't expect men to be mind readers in any way lol you will get along for MUCH longer
For that reason, I had Said my ex so many times to speak up but that asshole too big of a weasels to do so.
Thankfully, I ended things before it got out of control.
@Mona Lisa Vito If you ask someone for something, don't be surprised if it will get a straight answer. Saying, no isn't being inconsiderate
@@MonaLisaVitoYou have issues, you must be single. It is horrible communication to ask someone for their honest opinion, and then expect them to lie 🤣🤣 Usually the bride and bridal party picks out the dress, and they all have opinions if they’re told to be honest. It’s the same for the groom, and he’s the one that paid for it. To block him, after already paying for the dress, when it’s their first argument? That’s so unbelievably childish, if you think that’s right, then you need a reality check. Must be your white entitlement speaking.
exactly what I'm saying to my wife, I'm not a mind reader, tell me exactly what you want, and don't ask me if you dont want my honest opinion.
The thing is that if someone gives honest opinion then you can trust that this is exactly what he is thinking. For people who give politically correct answers, you can't trust their opinion at all. They have useless opinions.
it's really so exhausting living with a partner that asks for your honest opinion about something and then get so irrationally upset about it. like they're only setting their entire relationship up for failure because it's gonna be based on lies since they can clearly not handle being told the truth
Exactly, that's a major red flag right there. It really bothers me that people normalize this kind of behaviour with excuses such as him being stupid for telling the truth... He wasn't being stupid he was being honest when she told him that's what she wanted. She should be the one appologising for behaving like a spoiled brat. He did absolutely nothing wrong.
Ya that’s a sad miserable existence 😖
What’s worse is potato brain agreed he was an idiot, which shows her true colors.
If you’re going to get upset when you ask for someone’s honesty, then you got no business opening your mouth!
Charlottes boyfriend better see the red flag! Anyone that thinks that groom was stupid for being honest, after affirming if she really wanted that, are selfish entitled and manipulative people.
In one way, if you lie to not hurt feelings, we’ll, you’re a liar. In the other way, you were rude and should have kept it to yourself. People like that should stay single! You got life lessons you should have learned decades ago!
Yeah and Charlotte having a legit potato brain for calling him an idiot but not calling out the immature brat who begged for his opinion, affirmed it, and then blocked him for actually being politely honest!
And Charlotte stood on that side…sexist much?
It ultimately comes down to how things are said too though. If the groom said "That dress looks awful, what were you thinking?" That's a terrible response, especially after being told that the bride loved the dress. My husband has successfully told me a dress made me look fat - he was considerate of my feelings and honest and I wasn't mad. We actually laughed and I appreciated the feedback.
No. I would always want the truth. Plus, I certainly wouldn’t pay 9k for a dress, wedding or otherwise. 4:34
But can we talk about her reaction to the situation in the first story? I admit I've also reacted poorly in fights before but I'd think going through a fight and communicating and handling it like adults is such an important thing before marriage imo. I get it, it sucks you can't return the dress (I'm also engaged), but storming out and blocking him over that? I'd say their focus should be on how to deal with fights in the future because if this is what any fight will be, that would be quite a tough marriage. Also as a woman, I honestly get tired of this "when a woman asks for an opinion you should lie" like we are children that people need to be careful around. I've seen issues in relationships so often due to this!
She's TA for spending $9,000 on a dress and considering his reaction on finding out the price of it on HIS credit card statement that was way above the budget and that was not her money she spent. She spent $9,000 of his money on a dress and didn't even ask him if spending that much was okay first. Way to start causing financial issues before you're even married. She's also TA for acting like a child when she asked for his actual opinion and then getting mad at him, leaving and blocking his number when they are supposed to be getting married because he gave it and probably didn't expect him to find out how much she spent on it. She probably figured he would just love it and then she could tell him how much it actually cost and he wouldn't be angry. How did literally everyone miss that?
Edit: Check my comments here for further context to the story. Am now even more firm in my she's TA stance. Finally managed to locate the story on Reddit.
We don't know their financial situation, but given the fact that she impulsively bought a $9,000 dress seems to indicate that it was not ridiculously expensive for them.
I hold my breath waiting for a mere $1,000 purchase to not come back declined, so I'm guessing those people are much much better off financially than the average person.
He must not marry that girl. That`s gonna be an awful divorce.
I swear, my bf would get a restraining order if I got a wedding dress for 9000$ 😂
Where did he say she went over budget? He is sad the dress isn't tight and sexy. Maybe she was more confident in that dress.
@@msCabins 🤣🤣🤣
Oh I love the ending to that story with the rushed wedding and the RAMP of contention. I'm so happy for the groom and the cousin with the house and their family.
Dodged a bullet indeed. If anyone is rushing you into feeling something or an engagement or a wedding...heck even moving in together before you are ready, RED FLAG! You may need to RUN AWAY!
Does anyone else just live for the way she says "Do we have time for one more?", it makes me laugh every time. She's hilarious and I enjoy watching her videos so much!
My mom did the white dress thing too. I got pregnant as a teenager and then married right after high school. It was a really tough time and my mom saying that I shouldn’t wear white to my wedding completely crushed me.
My Mom told me that if only virgins wore white the white dress companies would be out of business. I am sorry your Mom did that to you. It makes me sad that people think brutal honesty is ok. There are ways to say you do not care for something without dissolving the bride in to tears. If someone asks for an opinion about a dress do not make it about the bride's body type or the fact that it is white and you know bride is not a virgin. I cannot believe this is still an issue. I am 65 and I know one woman who was a virgin when she got married - just one. Let it go already.
The dumb thing is, it's not even about purity. Queen Victoria wore white on her wedding to show off her owning a whole dress that she would only wear once. That was how the white dress started. Then noble ladies all were doing it to follow in her foot steps. People never learn history man...they too fucking lazy to learn this shit.
My mom did that to me too?!? She was pregnant before she got married but thinks that *I* shouldn’t wear a white dress?? 😂 Delusional mothers!
I agree with her. It's crazy how everyone wants to wear white after they've been ran through.
@@peekaboots01then maybe you should take your complaints to the dress industry. Majority of the dresses are white, and hardly anyone is a virgin by the time they’re ready for marriage and that’s not a bad thing.
This reminds me, recently I planned a quinceañera and the girl wanted a red gown originally, she wanted to get the gown first before anything else, and I realized why. She went into the store fully expecting a red gown. She left the store with a turquoise one instead. Then, she picked the venue and theme to match the gown. The day turned out great and there was no issues theme wise and I think it’s because of the way she went about it. I feel like it’s a good idea to do the dress, shoes, etc. person first, then the venue and theme, because as a bride, you want to fall in love with your dress and be proud to wear it. That’s just my thoughts though, others have different experiences 🤷♀️
Unfortunately, these days, you often need the venue first because of how far out things are booked and to get the date.
As someone with autism, the person who was asked to pay for the ramp at the wedding venue being told by their family that their existence has been painful for them is like worst fears confirmed stuff. They've pretty much been told "you've always been a pain to be around because you're autistic so why can't you just do this thing for us?" and if anyone that close to me ever said that to me I would cut them out of my life immediately and probably need years of therapy to reverse the hit to my mental health that would cause knowing that my biggest fear (that being around me is a hassle) was true.
Bonus points for them basically saying it was a curse on THEM to be around OP's autism and then calling OP an ableist because they weren't able to hire an extremely expensive contractor who would be able to make this ridiculous demand work, as they were actively trying.
Also the bridesmaid who had the solution offered on a platter when they said they could get a removable one and she went and decided she "deserved better" like the bitch couldn't possible accept ONE temptorary ramp, at an otherwise fully wheelchair accessible's house and was demanding, herself, that a contractor builts one just for her.
OP was not the problem there.
I can't even imagine the pain of going through something like this😢 but I'm familiar with the fear of being a burden to others. 💯% agree! No one needs to ask for acceptance, and that post made me so angry 😠
Also, the audacity (and irony) of calling OP an ableist 🤦♀️
A little mental health exercise is to ask yourself “so, what?” About your worst fears. Because it’s not the worst fears
But the unspoken assumptions connected to them that are painful. One can make them hurt less by exposing what they are and verifying which ones are actually totally unlikely to be true. For example, “let’s say I’m a burden on people, so, what?… that would mean other people actually don’t like me…. Doesn’t it? it doesn’t, it means they like me but to be with me costs them money and effort. I have a friend like that too, I like her but she only likes expensive food when I’m happy with a cheese sandwich every meal. Hanging out with her costs me money I don’t really like to spend. I like her more at work where she doesn’t coats me money. But I do like her, I just don’t like her food and spending money on that stuff. So my friends probably like me even if I cost them money. No one likes to spend money on things they didn’t choose, it doesn’t mean they don’t like me as a person.”
Once you do that, you feel much better. Do it to yourself. You don’t need a therapist.
@@M_SC I was about to upvote your comment until I came to a screeching halt on that last sentence. It's ok to share coping strategies that have worked for you, but making the blanket statement that some1 doesn't need therapy at all for that issue is comparable to telling some1 with cancer that they don't need chemo bc eating organic foods worked for you. You can certainly say it, but you should also know that it's height of using anecdotal evidence & claiming it's empirical evidence.
Yeah, that's a fear I have too but slightly different. I'm late diagnosed and that only last year. I'm in my early 40s now. The thing about autism is that it tends to run in families, and I'm not the first one in mine. I have seen how my NT family treated my ND family as children and even now as adults and I don't want them to treat me the same. Only my parents know. Not even my sister does, who has an autistic son (whom I love deeply) knows that I'm autistic myself. It's one of my worst fears, that the wider family learns about my diagnosis. I hope this never happens to you.
I always give my friends a warning if they ask for my opinion - are you sure you actually want it?
The groom said all the dresses she’d shown him previously were a completely different style so he was probably thrown and also looking forward to a sexy dress!
The last one is hilarious, my dress would have to be black 💀🤣
The red wedding dress issue sounds like some creepy “alpha” or incel shit. The fact that Ryan started CRYING when his mom suggested he wear red too (made me laugh, picturing Beetlejuice wedding scene, which would be kinda rad, actually), shows he knows it’s awful and embarrassing to suggest to someone. Saying guys are different is more incel type bs.
Probably has at least one of those creeps among his coworkers, so when talking about his insecurities, they fed into it and made him feel justified or something. At least, I’m hoping they just poisoned the well and he wasn’t secretly thinking about his “whore” of a gf/fiancé for 6yrs. For her sake.
Anyone who judges a woman for having sex needs to never have sex with a woman for their entire lives.
Perfect comment.
Yes.
Yup him wearing red was my first reaction too
I was honestly surprised that HIS mom pulled that one out!
Normally, we hear about FMILs being all on their little boys side, but that was at least a nice plot twist
I also love that it was his mom the one that said that
The dress I fell in love with I put on as a joke because it was 100000% not my style and looked ridiculous. But as soon as I put it on I didn't want to take it off. I am terrible at keeping secrets but I managed not to show my husband my gown until our wedding day 9 months later. He cried and honestly, I'm SO GLAD I did that then show him the dress in advance and ask his opinion.
Of course you want to know if your partner loves the dress, but what matters most is that YOU love the dress. If your partner really loves you they'll marry you in whatever you wear, even a potato sack.
Yep, poor guy was set up and also, she could’ve addressed some of the shock value by saying she knows it looks nothing like the dresses she originally planned for.
I asked my husband before going wedding dress shopping if he has any preferences or dislikes when it comes to wedding dresses. He said he doesn’t like the mermaid/fitted style. I mean sure it is my wedding day but it’s his too and I wanted my husband to love my dress as well and we both did 😁
Last poster, I'd walk away. Well, no, sprint. I'd sprint away.
The second story was poetic justice in the end. And I love that the OP’s family supported him and stuck by his side. At least that bride let her true colors show before they got married!
Wedding dress story:
Yes, brides very often choose a different dress than what they looked for.
I'm a florist and have worked with weddings a lot and often had to do last minute changes because the bridal bouquet needed to be changed to fit to the final dress choice.
Plus I did the very same thing, originally wanted a black dress because I look horrible in white, but chose a beautiful old-white dress which made my almost see through skin color look less corps-ish and more medieval royalty-ish.
Corpsgish 😅
@@doeeyes2 oops, that g was supposed to be a -
14:35 Got me HARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 The mini mental break 😂
I love when everyone backs the OP whos in the right. I heard the second one before it makes me so happy.
Story 1: People need to say what they mean. OP's bride should have said, "Tell me what you like about this dress. I just want to hear honest compliments." There's nothing wrong with being specific and wanting praise from a loved one.
Edited to add: I understand feeling confused that she went for a dress that was totally different from her inspiration picks. This happens to a lot of brides. They go dress shopping with one style in mind and then someone suggests she try a dress outside of that style. And wow, she didn't expect to feel so beautiful in the recommended dress! Anyone who watched "Say Yes to the Dress" saw it happen more than once.
They're both kind of idiots, no offense 😂. I get that she did ask for honest opinion but he should have cushioned it a bit, like instead of just saying I don't like it he should have tried to be a little gentler in his approach. Like point out stuff that is fixable. The fit, maybe it needs something like flowers to match the theme. And as for her, I know she's upset that he didn't like the dress she fell in love with but she shouldn't have acted that way. It's his wedding too. A little compromise wouldn't hurt. Ask what she could do to make it look better, does it not fit ok? Does it not have enough elements to match the theme? This could have been prevented if they both compromised for each other.
@@kamiamarievaldez8441 I'm all for compromise, but it was my understanding that she couldn't return the dress. So the bell was pretty much completely rung, lol.
Yeah but It could be customized a bit, may have to pay a bit more but It would be better than having to cancel an entire wedding over an argument about the dress.
I've been thinking about the whole "I'll call it off for you, gimme your phone" at 15:05 for days.
Asked my husband what he thought about the bridal makeup I tried out a shop I liked.
He hated it. Said I didn't look like myself.
Kids even agreed.
Even though it was REALLY well done and I looked nice, I accepted the criticism and decided against all the fluff 😁
Well, it's different for a trial ... it would have been okay for him to say his honest opinion while his fiancée tried on dresses.
@@nriamond8010 Yeah, zero risk with that. But I'd also suggest that if she did like her own makeup, it didn't matter what they thought.
That’s makeup not a 9 grand wedding dress.
Shows you are a mature person and not manipulative! You also understand that opinion does not mean compliment. There’s a reason you’re a taken woman, others should learn from you, like the woman in the first story.
But potato queen also has a potato brain and called him stupid…clearly she supports women being manipulators (or down right ignorant.)
@@SeriousSara1 Women have right to wear what they want without asking husband unless they are insecure and brainless whick good portion of housewives are.
My husband chose my gown, we took his mom out to look at gowns and as she and I looked at the gowns on the racks, my fiancé was looking at gowns and held one up which wasn’t a style I considered. My MIL said he should not be choosing gowns since he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. His response was “Well I may not but I know my fiancée and think this would be beautiful on her. Would you please consider trying it on?” I did and after trying several other gowns, I realized his choice was the most flattering and comfortable gown I had tried. It’s the dress I chose.
That first story, I just have a hard time with the fact that they were getting married but the bride literally leaves to her moms and then blocks his number at the first sight of a disagreement. Cherry on top is that she’s mad over something that she asked him to answer. Also, I can totally see how a poofy prom looking dress doesn’t go great with a nature themed wedding. In relationships, we need to be able to lovingly tell each other the truth when one of us isn’t seeing it clearly.. 😂
Totally agree, I was thinking that!! Plus he also paid for the dress and was supposedly going to pay for the second dress if things went south. Lot of red flags in their relationship dynamics.
That was my first thought too. How u block the man that you are marrying? Is this how she's gonna handle every fight
True, instantly blocking a number just because of a disagreement isn't just it, the guy was even trying to contact her to maybe patch things up. Plus I always imagined a forest or wood elf kind of themed wedding to wear a sort of simple dress with flowy sleeves and flowy skirt
Right? I think most ppl are like oh poor bride because her dress got rejected but i think she reactes too strongly
Fr