AM I A BRIDEZILLA ? - REACTION
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- Опубликовано: 23 июн 2022
- AM I A BRIDEZILLA ? - REACTION
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Hey ya'll! Today on my channel we are reacting to some brides who posted in AITA that really want to know if they are Bridezillas!
#aita #bride #bridezilla #entitledbride #wedding #aitapost #redditaita #reaction #charlottedobreio #react #reactionchannel #charlottedobreio #charlottedobre
Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I crack a joke or two. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
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"Ok, he also consulted on the food and he wants to marry me." The way this bride writes and uses humor already tells me NTA.
The parents that want to skip the Chinese tea ceremony would be missing out on a beautiful tradition. I attended one and the point was to give the soon-to-be married couple marriage advice as well as gifts. It was the sweetest thing. I am so happy I got to attend!
Yeah, I was wondering why any parent would want to skip that. It seems ignorant on the surface but I don’t have enough to go on to call it racist. It may very well be, I just don’t have enough info to make that call. I do however have enough info to say that it is short-sighted and ignorant (as in, not having knowledge of a subject) on their part.
I mean imagine being rude to your future son in law and his family by refusing to attend a ceremony which is basically them serving you tea? Who refuses tea? The racism is strong with this one.
I would be so honored and absolutely elated to be asked to attend such a precious, beautiful ceremony.
@@davidguidry657 It seems to be an underlying issue there, the groom being chinese and all
My music teacher said the tea ceremony was an important event (when he got married etc), so I felt bad for the guy
I'm Pakistani, so I do understand about important ceremonies
The tea ceremony...is basically the wedding. All it's missing is the three bows. Which I guess they (groom's family) thought could be substituted with the vows in church.
They were willing to compromise and meet halfway.
Geez, the bride's parents are racist.
I was literally thinking this!
Yes they are
Yeah, exactly. I mean it’s not like the groom’s family asked the in-laws to kowtow or something, and it would be one thing if the in-laws saw a problem with the bride potentially kneeling down, in which case they could maybe meet half way and just bow or something, but to straight out dismiss the whole thing as ridiculous? That raises some red flags, because racist or not, the bride’s family are certainly acting xenophobic.
This does not bode well for a cross culture marriage, in which it is inherently important to be willing to work through cultural and maybe religious differences to achieve a compromise. It’s one thing to set boundaries and refuse to actively take part in something that goes against your own beliefs, and just watch or sit out, or offer an alternative that meets the other party half way, but it’s another to refuse to have that conversation altogether. The bride and groom need to set this as a precedent to make it clear that extended family will either respect the marriage by being open to cross culture conversations and negotiations, or refuse to participate and thereby abdicate any say they have in intra-marital affairs.
I mostly agree with you, except for the idea that “This does not bode well for a cross culture marriage”. I mean, yes the parents suck, but a marriage is between two people and those two seem pretty solid. The way the bride is handling this, including valuing the groom’s wishes and culture, seems to bode pretty well for this marriage
@@notcompletelynormal you are right. It's just that I'm from a culture where the marriage is between two families. Both families will have lifelong interactions and for every festival, big occasion, etc the grooms family is involved.
Actually, in my culture traditionally, the groom lives in the same house as his parents. These days this has changed but only in cases of the bride/groom having to move for work or because they have some sort of dispute with the groom's parents.
So, something like this can cause a strain to married life. At least that's the reality of a lot of people around me.
Though, yes, in more western cultures this may not be an issue as people don't live with their parents and see them only a few times a year. That would be considered 'unfillial'. It can be terribly restrictive sometimes, particularly if the parent is toxic. But on the positive note, people don't have to worry about babysitters or childcare because grandparents live in the same house. Kind of why babysitting as is understood in the west doesn't really exist in my country.
The bachelorette party having tons of alcohol when the bride specifically asked for no alcohol made me feel so uncomfortable. Like, that's just blatant disregard for what she asked for. I enjoy some drinks every once in a while, but if I had a friend who didn't like to be around them, I would never pull some out in front of them or get wasted before hanging out with them.
Yeah I feel like there’s so much more toxic stuff going on that friendship.
I agree. I drink but, if anyone around me was uncomfortable with alcohol, club soda with lemon and lime would suffice just fine. Not a big deal at all.
As someone who is very uncomfortable with alcohol and doesn’t ever want to drink in fear of becoming an alcoholic, id be soo upset and mad if someone did that to me, for a party thats supposed to be in my honor, just like the bride did i wouldve called someone to pick me up, and left as soon as possible.
@@NyxTrix.similar! I have drank but never enough to get drunk. And never want to be drunk. Ive been around an alcoholic growing up (along with his friends and also they could of been F’ed up on other substances)
And people drinking can be triggering. Its not always but theres a difference of being in a group and everyone is having one or two maybe three drinks and arent drunk but just relaxing in their own way. Thats fine but once someone has a lot to where it changes how they are acting and they getting F’ed up I cant stay around them.
Because it puts me on edge. I can go from no anxiety to so much of it. Like my whole body get jittery it feels like every individual atom that creates my body is buzzing. (This also happens if someone acting F’ed up from a medicine or a substance.) if i cant leave, for whatever reason it will get to a point of like crying and hyperventilating. Like a panic attack.
If a close friend like that who knew me, cause they grew up with me, created a party where everyone is getting hammered or even if they didnt create it but planned to take me to a party like that. (Without my consent to go. And with knowing everything) i would be questioning being friends with them. Someone who is a friend doesnt put you in a triggering situation or play with your fears. And if its accidental they wouldnt just berate you and get angry that you are uncomfortable and want to leave. They would understand and if they brought you there usually a friend wouldnt just force you to be there without a way to leave.
(Obligatory I'm gay so understand the situation to some extent) OP-brother is a saint. Super supportive but also respects his brother's decision not to come out before he's ready and now worrying more about his fiancee's feelings than his own. Definitely not the A-hole, I understand his brother might finally be ready to come out but the wedding isn't the time or the place.
I agree completely.
If the brother would come out before the wedding and then bring his boyfriend the situation would be completely different. So that morons can be morons in their shock after the revelation, throw out most of their idiocy and then would be expected to try to behave at the actual wedding.
And yet it could still create issues, so maybe that's not a great idea either? Idk.
At my cousin's wedding I brought my gf. I have been out for like ten years now, but there are still relatives that try to pretend that it is not real and we are just close pals.
Me bringing her was considered extremely rude because people spent the evening gossping about it and I was seen as "trying to ruin the spotlight". Even if, once again, I was out with literally everyone and it wasn't the first time I brought my gf at family events.
And still they managed to be a-holes.
Disagree.The plain facts is that the brother asked if his significant other could attend the wedding, and OP said no because of him being gay and that would steal focus from himself and his bride. He's not as supportive as he thinks. The brother shouldn't be obligated to "come out" to people to be treated the same as a straight sibling. That's not seeing him equally. What is this obsession from straight people for gays to "come out"?! Let him be, let him share things with the people he wants, and don't put other people's reactions to him being who he is on his shoulders!
@@synneje There's a time and a place for everything, a wedding is neither the time or the place to suddenly come out by bringing your same sex partner with you. Weddings are supposed to be about the bride and groom unless they give the go ahead to make big announcements. In this case, the brother was given numerous chances to come out, but wants to come out at OP's wedding at the expense of peace and civility despite being told not to. Op is literally just asking the guy to not come out on that day in particular, or atleast at the wedding.
@@synneje Not everyone is homophobic just because they don't do things the way YOU think they should. You're no better than a bigot if you think you're entitled to someone else's wedding day, fuck dude.
Yes agreed it just isn't the time or place. He could do it before or after. Just not on the day that's supposed to be someone else's day y'know
Someone else’s wedding is not your platform! Don’t propose, don’t come out, and don’t wear white!
AMEN!!!
Preach THAT, sister!
AND don't announce pregnancies!
And don't add Alchohol, when specifically asked not to!😲
I feel it should be the official duty of the bridesmaids to "accidentally" spill red wine on any one except the bride who is intentionally wearing white to piss off the bride.
So I am white (from Spain) and my husband is Vietnamese. When we got married we did both a Spanish wedding and Vietnamese ceremony. My parents had 0 issue being involved, wearing the traditional clothes and getting prepared to do whatever was asked from them in both ceremonies not just because they love me, but because they love my husband. It literally takes more effort to be racist than to be accepting. I hope that bride had a fabulous day.
My son married a beautiful, smart Asian woman. At their wedding, the tea ceremony was planned and we were invited to participate. I am divorced from my son's father, however, his father (my ex) and I joined in the ceremony. It was such a beautiful, awesome, cherished moment.
"beautiful, smart" is that what people only care a woman to be? so shallow
@@FruityHachiBro she’s just complimenting the dil ur the shallow one here.
@@praisepeter1207 you make no sense
me pointing out that someone else points out shallow characteristics does not equal me being shallow, learn some logic before replying to random people
@@FruityHachi
Why are you so triggered about it? Lmao
Seems like someone never gets any compliments
@@mimiosa6430 first learn to comprehend a simple text before replying to people
my point is not about compliments per say but about superficial status symbol compliments
the op did not compliment her honesty, generosity, empathy etc.
if you disagree with my point that means that it's you who got triggered because you judge people based on appearance and education
things to not do at a wedding include:
-wear white or anything bridal, seriously if you look like a cake topper gtfo
-propose
-come out as anything (im part of the alphabet mafia and listen a wedding isnt the place for our drama)
-announce a pregnancy
-announce a divorce
-talk shit about the guest list, decor, food, or venue
-set anything on fire not specifically designed to safely be set on fire
This is a great list Ali!
The last item made me LMAO, in part because it seems like something that needn't be mentioned specifically, and yet…
An amazing list! I'd like to add: -not the place to announce you're in love with the bride or groom
And as someone who had to drive two stupid drunk people home once, adding
- get so drunk that you start dancing IN the water fountain.
That last one definitely has a story that I would like to hear
My cousin found out her parents were divorcing at her wedding. She spent some time in the bathroom crying. Awkward for whole family.
Chelsea LIED to this bride about the nature of the party. Between the booze, the drunks, and making no provisions for a pet that needs to be walked and fed every few hours, she pretty much made it all about what SHE would want. No low blows here. This bride has every right to be pissed and is NOT TAH.
Agreed!! It was the MOH that was the a-hole!!!
Agree! It would've only been a low blow if she said it just after the wedding dress scene (which was strange, but still pretty innocent). But she not only lied to the bride about what her bachelorette party would be like, she brought her into a situation the bride had specifically asked her not to be in. She had every right to leave and when she told her her off she was just stating facts and the truth, so no low blow here. She needed to hear it.
Yup!
@@danielleking262 I agree! If I had a friend like that, well.. I would stop calling that person a "friend" and simply don't have any contact at all in the future.
Seriously. Just the comment about the dog did it for me. "No, Chelsea. My dog needs to be walked morning, midday AND NIGHT! I can't just NOT GO HOME." The story about alcoholism and specifically asking not to do that to her just... No. Just no. Chelsea is so far in the wrong here.
As a person who banned their parents from their wedding, that bride had a far better reason than I did. I banned mine because my mother is a narcissist and said I don’t deserve happiness. That brides parents are 100% racist, and that’s going to be a problem again in the future and not just with the tea ceremony. They may want to think about distancing themselves now.
What happened to you was terrible. Sending you hugs and all the happiness in the world.
@@she-hulkSMASHES thank you. It was, I allowed it to go on a lot longer than I should have. The belittling and brainwashing does that to you. My only regret in life is, that I didn’t go no contact sooner. People say that’s your mother and you have to forgive her. I say hog wash, an if she was any kind of mother, she wouldn’t have treated me the way she has. I appreciate your kind words an understanding ❤️
@@SeontaSkky I'm so sorry. Please know you also had a very valid reason.
@@CreamIceMs thank you. I know, I just feel like it was more of a petty payback for the nightmare fuel my life was (until I cut her out). Whereas this couple got smacked in the face with the most disrespect possible.
my thoughts exactly. need to prune back the toxicity Now before it has a chance to kill the whole future. if they can't handle this one thing, what will they be like if they have kids? will the little ones hear from grandad/grandma about how they're "half casts" because of the Chinese heritage they have... will they get the "well, they're not pure but we don't hold it against them" spiel... there's a lot more to this than just them being basically dumb asses here.
The “I wish you were a normal bride” line did it for me on that last one. I don’t drink. I’m cool with people drinking around me, but it can feel awkward in situations where the goal is to get drunk. The number of times I have been questioned about my decision not to drink is ridiculous. It is frustrating how many people feel the need to comment on my choice and judge me based on it.
With that background, the “normal bride” comment *hurts*. Suddenly this person you trust is joining all the other people who judge you for not drinking. To me that comment was a line, once crossed, you can never come back from. I get that people say hurtful things that they don’t mean in the heat of the moment. I get that the MOH is having a hard time. But that is literally the type of comment I see as a friendship ender so I struggle to see how this gets resolved.
It does sound like the bride didn’t take that line as hard as I would have and she sounds like the forgiving type, so maybe they can work it out. I just hope the bride doesn’t let the moh gaslight her…
I agree, he should come out before the wedding. Those family members who then choose to not attend are the ones you don’t want there anyway. Let them weed out their own damn selves.
Totally.
Eh, give the family notice asap. And move on. Then only accept acceptable behaviour on the day. Surely.
Seriously - Where do all these people come from who do not understand that you do not make huge life changing announcements at other people's weddings!?
@@oldpondfrog788 And don't call me Shirley.
The brother is being selfish for wanting to use that event to come out. He should have been honest long ago, and it's likely that most family know anyway.
I'm 100% supportive of LGBTQIA rights, but there's a time and place for everything, and this ain't it.
I have a nephew who some of the family has suspected is gay, and we suspected since he was a little boy. However, his mother (my sister) is evangelical Christian and so is he. He was homeschooled, and taught that the earth is only 6000 years old and evolution is a lie from the Devil. He was taught that homosexuality is a perversion punishable by death.😢
He's in his 40s, has never dated or had a girlfriend but he's got a very close male friend he started a small film company with. They go on long camping trips about once a year and record interesting stuff. They have a video on RUclips that's had over 10 million views that is some of the manliest manly man stuff I've ever seen! 😂 I won't say what it is, I won't out him.
I figure it's none of my business, so the only person I've discussed it with is our oldest sister (she brought it up). He is a dear, sweet man and I feel sad that he is afraid to be himself. He's struggled with depression all his life.
That is even better than the day after, really. Have him come out before you have your deadline for the headcount for catering, and that kind of thing. Find out how many people you're cutting off your list. Respectful of the brother AND economical, too!
As someone who also doesn't drink because I grew up around a violent, raging alcoholic, I would've been SO upset if my friend had done that to me and honestly I probably would've caused a scene. I generally don't care if other people are drinking but sometimes when they've been heavily drinking I start to feel panicky. It just brings back terrifying memories. The party was supposed to be for HER to make HER happy. Her friend is an ass.
I feel you, similar background but not as worse. I am actually okay with it most times but the change of venue and guests i dont know beein there ALREADY drunk when i arrive would have made me cause a scene like IN THE DOORWAY. "Hey girls, cool party FOR YOU GUYS, i missed my bachelorette it seems, gonna go home and look for it another time. You have fun with your party tho ;) ;* "
Like what the crap was that plan... its absurd that the girl didnt apologize later
And besides, I’d much rather spend a nice evening with my dog than at a drunken party I didn’t want.
I feel the same way as u! I grew up with an alcoholic father who was a completely different person when he consumed alcohol! I don't drink and this is one of the main reasons! My fiancee's parents r alcoholics and I personally feel if u don't want to attend an alcohol free wedding ( mine), I don't want u there, period! My fiancee's father had drank too much at one of their family get togethers, mind u to visit his parents we have to drive 3 hrs. one way to their house and then drive back for another. His dad passed out in the patio chair an hour into our arrival and they ad to carry him upstairs to bed. I have had panic attacks and crying fits around his parents when they're drinking. I've told him that I don't feel comfortable visiting his parents unless it's at one of his sister's homes since they have to drive to get to his sister's homes and can't drink as much. To this day the first thing his mom asks me whenever I walk through the door anywhere is, "would u like a glass of wine Melody?" Knowing full well that I don't drink. I find it incredibly rude and condescending to ask me that knowing that I don't drink forcing me to feel like I have to explain all the reasons why I don't, I hate it and it makes me want to cry. If u feel u "need" alcohol to enjoy yourself it's time to take a deep look into yourself and ask yourself why am I so miserable. Especially since all you're doing when u drink that heavily is making everyone else around u miserable. I'm totally fine with people who r able to drink controllably, unfortunately that is a something that is often times lacking with people who drink.
Yup. I don't drink (it's not even because of any family issues, I've got lots of healthy social drinkers in my family) and I'm not comfortable around drunk people. If someone had done something like this to me, that would potentially end the relationship. (Bear in mind that I'm also aroace and don't get wedding stuff, but I imagine a bachelor(ette) party is similar in importance as a birthday party, if not somewhat more important.)
Especially since she was sneaky about it.
I’m dating a Korean. If my parents objected to anything that had to do with his culture I would not let them attend. Either you do the tea ceremony or you don’t come. You can’t just shit on my fiancés culture and expect everything to be ok.
I feel bad for that woman with the tea ceremony. My brother married a woman who is Chinese and they also did the tea ceremony, door games, a banquet, etc that are all parts of their culture. It's not hard to just participate. It's nothing weird and I know that everyone enjoyed it.
Funnily enough I am White and my husband is Chinese, let me just say that Charlotte is exactly right! The traditional tea ceremony is an incredibly important ritual in groom's culture and the bride's parents are blatantly racist for refusing to participate.
And calling it stupid.
EXACTLY
It's actually not racism. You are allowed to not like things, no matter where in the world they come from. What it is, is ignorant, rude, unfeeling, showing themselves to be people with no vested interest in their daughter and her relationship. As they say, you can't choose your relatives. Such a shame, as they've really missed out on something so wonderful.
@@francescachristensen4918 It could be not racist if they could come up with a good reason for not doing it. Instead, it was called absurd and stupid, and they couldn't even give any reasons why they felt that way. I do think that they may not necessarily be racist, but the context given and how they allegedly reacted to it does kinda give off that feeling.
@@x0uzumakinaruto0x That's ignorance, not racism.
Regarding the brother coming out at the wedding: my brother chose the day and celebration of our daughter’s baptism to tell my parents that he was leaving his wife because he knew my parents would not do anything to ruin the day. It took my husband and me years to forgive him.
Not comparable imo. Sharing bad news on a special day like that should obviously be avoided. But why should happy news be forbidden? I just don't get it...
Damn .....
@@Pinelo-pie because its not about you, the day is about someone else. Are ppl really that self centered now??
@@epic7224 Who is the self centered one? I wouldn't have minded anybody sharing their good news at our wedding. As long as it happens in a normal conversation obviously... Are we only supposed to talk about the bride and groom? Every other topic is forbidden? At our wedding we even celebrated my sisters birthday at midnight by playing happy birthday and bringing her a little cake. I just don't get, what the big deal is.
@@Pinelo-pie it seems that you are assuming that the coming out of the brother's groom is a happy news for everyone, which is probably not... I imagine that it's a lot of unnecesary drama to bring to a wedding. But I kind of agree that bringing happy news (that are not dramatic/controversial in any way) at a wedding should be okay.
The story 11 minutes in did my head in a bit. My uncle died due to alcoholism and at his funeral everyone, the whole family were drunk. I was silently disgusted, I was only a kid. It’s a long time ago but it still pisses me off
I watched a Tea Ceremony on RUclips.I thought it was BEAUTIFUL! The tradition, the symbolism, the gifts that would likely become family heirlooms.. I honestly cried a little. I would feel SO honored to be part of that.
Story 2. The Chinese Tea Ceremony with the parents is a mark of respect to the older generation that brought both children into the world and raised them to the point that they can marry and go out on their own lives. It is very meaningful and holds a lot of significance. The girls parents for refusing to do it are Racist and disrespectful to their future Son in Law, TBH if they won't do it with the proper attitude then ban them from the wedding since they are obviously not supportive and basically bigoted.
I fully agree with the disrespectful piece but I’m not sure we have enough evidence to throw racism around. As the parents of the bride, there is a fair likelihood that they are supportive of the relationship/marriage/wedding or that would’ve been mentioned in the post. Rather than ascribing the worst possible option to a given situation, perhaps we need to seek understanding first? After all, that is what we are holding the parents accountable for failing to do, right?
@@davidguidry657 calling the ritual "stupid" is what makes this sound racist. At the very least they are being intolerant of a cultural tradition, typically we, as a society, categorize this cultural intolerance under racism.
Also, the ritual only lasts 5-15 minutes.
It's also the equivalent of asking the parents for blessing and parents give to them. The fact that the parents think it's stupid just showed how judgemental they can be.
@@ghjgme and I’m not saying that the parents aren’t racist. They may very well be. I’ve called things that I didn’t know about/understand some less than honorable things from my own ignorance and that is how I suggest this be viewed until we have more evidence to support the claim of racism. Just my opinion tho. Have a great day fellow Tater Tot.
Sounds like the parents are just lazy and unless it’s a party like a wedding can be they think there’s no point.
as a lesbian who struggled finding the right time and place to come out, of course a family event that everyone will be at, where you can get everything over with at once is Super appealing.. HOWEVER, the wedding would become “the wedding where so-and-so told us he was gay,” and not “[couples]’s wedding”. same with a holiday, it would be “the christmas so-and-so came out,” and not “christmas two years ago,” if that makes sense. you’d be taking that day away from them! that day is, yes, meant for love! but it’s meant for THEIR love more than anyone else’s! it has the same energy as going to a wedding and proposing to your own girlfriend/boyfriend-that event turns into Your Event rather than the people it was intended for (and who did the planning and spent all the money)!!!
edit: for the holiday part, i get that they’re more common than things like weddings! i guess i was thinking of the rules my parents gave me for coming out. they insisted no holidays and no special events, because if any family members reacted angryily or hostile to the situation (i have family members who would very much do this), id be the reason the event went badly. it would cause family drama that i’d be in the middle of. but maybe other people’s families are better about that sort of thing than mine! so if youre confident your family would be fine with that sort of thing-by all means, then i say go for it!
edit edit: this is based on how i personally came out. you dont have to come out the same way i did! everyone’s family is different, and mine was very iffy. one wrong move and id be in the center of all the family drama for literal years (ive seen it happen with less extreme things). please dont take my words to heart if you feel differently than i did around a Decade ago with My family. i just was posting about how i personally avoided family drama/blacklash since thats what the op in the video was worried about. please come out in whatever way feels right for you, if you even choose to! its your choice and nobody elses 💖
Christmas comes every year though, I’d say holidays are fair game 😝
Not only should someone never be time-pressured into coming out at any point, but in the video and the general idea of coming out as being a "bombshell" panders so much to bigots and people who use age as the excuse for intolerance. The "solution" is to treat queer relationships equally to straight ones - as normal. By not coming out, like sexuality is a cautious thing you need to declare - its not. And for onlookers who stare, judge, and comment instead of celebrating the marriage ceremony and such, remembering the wedding in association with homosexual = scandalous, well that's their problem so who gaf
@Kierstin As a gay man I 100% agree =)
@@rjward1906 thanks for writing this comment - This entire comment section and Charolotte's response has made me realize there is a lot of progress still to be made - There are many shades of homophobia and this demonstrates one of them - I didn't get the feeling from the posting that the brother wanted a coming out speech before the bride and groom dance (which I would agree is a little attention grabbing).
Genuine question but Why do you need to? Like I've never felt like I have to let everyone I know I'm heterosexual like I've always thought just get with who you want love who you want it's none of anyone's business really xx
My wife is Chinese. We mixed the tea ceremony and unity ceremony into its own new thing. We each picked a blend of tea and brewed them separately. At the wedding, we combined the two blends into one pot then served the mixture to our parents in the front row. I had my brother read out a blurb I wrote up while we did it to explain. It was very well received.
At our reception, we had tea bags for the tea we each chose for people to drink their preference or mix together to mimic the blending of our lives.
Feel free to steal this if you like it!!
That is lovely.
@@elenachristian9860 thanks so much!!
I’ve been to an Australian-Chinese wedding- the Tea Ceremony LITERALLY took 15 minutes AT MOST!- if they can’t even be bothered, that’s ridiculous!
I love to see a bride standing by her groom ❤ as an upcoming bride myself, I'm constantly checking with my boy if there's anything that he wants or any traditions that I should expect because we're from different cultures. That's how you have a partnership.
You sound like you’re going to make a wonderful wife! 🖤🖤
I went to an Indian wedding once...best freakin' time of my life. Holy crap the attention to detail and food and hospitality, it was incredible. As guests we were treated like celebrities as an honor for coming to the wedding and helping them celebrate. It was just incredible and I think all weddings should take some tips from the Indian wedding ceremony/traditions. It was simply amazing.
Thank you!
i knowww. im pakistani and our weddings are pretty similar to indian ones. the celebration almost makes me wanna get married. almost
@@mahnoorsalman876 Yea, I don't really know how a Pakistani weeding is celebrated since I am an Indian but I would LOVE to attend one. One of my friends recently attended a Pakistani wedding, and she said that it was pretty awesome even though it was pretty similar to Indian weddings in certain ways.
@@PriyaGarg2003 usually 3 functions . all for separate lists of guests. lots of music. great food. and some family drama lol. also it's the best playing with cousins as a kid
I'd LOVE to attend a Desi wedding! The clothes the bride and groom wear are so beautiful. I love the cuisine, so I imagine the food served at weddings is extra special.
It's not often that an AITA leaves me feeling so conflicted as that first one about the soon-to-be husband and his closeted brother. I feel so bad for both of them, honestly! The only arseholes in this situation are the homophobic relatives whose all-pervading stupidity has turned what shouldn't even be an issue into a huge issue. I honestly hope they're both doing alright now.
Chelsea KNEW what the bride wanted (hiking and dinner), SAID that was what she was giving her (lying), then did something else that was awful for the bride (drinking, the dog and BIL strangers)! Is there something like MOH-zilla? She could not be worse.
But she IS trying to live vicariously through OP's wedding. OP just spoke facts.
Like seriously, everything up to the party could be forgiven as misunderstandings or "let's just have fun" but she A)knew OP didn't drink and why, B)was SPECIFICALLY asked not to have alcohol and did so anyway, and C)lied to OP and then stranded her at a place she KNEW OP didn't want to be.
That is shitty behavior
The alcoholic bingefest triggered the bride. This behavior would make me question the whole friendship. I'm not being political with this but Trump had a brother who was an alcoholic. Because of this he doesn't drink or drink much (not sure of his exact stance) but he doesn't get upset when others do. Even if they have an alcoholic bingefest. Everyone has their own attitudes when dealing with this issue.
@@janejones7638 so wait what are you trying to say? The way you put it, to me at least, says that the bride shouldn’t of flipped out over the alcohol…?
If that was your intent, you do know what a trigger is right-? Some describe it as almost like a panic attack. Plus we don’t know how the OP’s mother treated her whilst drunk, for all we know the mother could of been abusive. It was a shitty move on Chelsea’s behalf, and she should of never of brought alcohol.
Do not bring in other people’s experiences with alcoholism, or how they handle it & compare it to someone else who could of very possibly suffered through some sort of trauma. Not everyone handles it the same, and the OP handled it in the best way possible. Instead of making a scene, she left the house via getting a ride home. It was really only Chelsea who blew up the situation by not apologizing
@@janejones7638 I guess my point is that it doesn't matter that it is alcohol. It could be strippers, or cocaine, or those little paper blower noise makers. When it's a party FOR YOU and you ask specifically to have one thing not happen and they do it anyway. ..that's massively disrespectful.
Yeah, Chelsea is a sh!tty friend.
@@arcadesofspades2092 I said she was triggered so I know what it means. I said that this kidnapping party (she had to get a ride home) should maybe end their relationship for good. But it all depends on the Brides reaction after a few days of reflection. My cousin was an alcoholic (was he died of an alcohol overdose). I get triggered by seeing known alcoholics drinking. Many times they go overboard when they start drinking again. If I'm in a situation where I see an alcoholic drink, I remove myself right away. I'd call someone to come get me.
jesus christ, I'd be over the moon if my fiance asked for something significant to their culture to be part of the wedding!! I imagine my mom would be too. NTA. a tea ceremony sounds beautiful
IKR? It sounds so welcoming and loving.
Maybe not the time at a wedding to come out as an interracial couple? Espeically if your guests are racist.
EDITORS!!! you are seriously so great for doing the highlighter track on the text. the light blue (light colors in general) are so helpful. I have a hard time following long blocks of text, and following the reading of long blocks. this is literally my ideal. I wish my school lectures were like this 😅😅
same. i have tetchy vision so some times, a huge block of black squiggles on blinding white is impossible for me to read with out pausing a video and squinting at it for five minutes. xP
*Story#1:*
I understand OP’s feelings. I understand the anxiety of coming out as gay (I’m not gay myself, but I have friends who’ve been through similar experiences) but to do this at a wedding is a no-go. I also agree with the comment that suggested this “coming out” as a distraction tool from what’s ACTUALLY important. It’s OP’s and his fiancé’s day. No one else’s. In conclusion, OP is NTA.
My husband's family called me a bridezilla because I didn't invite them to our wedding. It's not that I didn't want to it's that they made me not want them to come. I'm Puerto Rican and my husband is White, i have known him and his family for over 10 years at that time but for some reason they didn't want me and my husband together and where constantly calling me names making up rumors about me and even calling me racist names as well. Even to the point where they said they don't claim the child me and my husband made out of love. For those reason I didn't invite them or even want them at the wedding. It was sad and I felt bad for my husband and even told him that he can invite them if they can behave themselves but he himself said no he don't want them there. Thank the Lord that they apologized to me and to my husband and things are better now.
I am a wedding officiant, and the most awkward ceremony I ever performed was with a white groom and a Colombian bride. The bride was already quite shy, and they admitted to me during planning that the groom's family was supremely racist and against the marriage. The poor woman was embarrassed to kiss her new husband at the end of the ceremony! She even shook her head like "oooh I don't want to do this!" right before what should have been the best kiss of her life!
(The kiss is not a legally binding part of the ceremony, so during planning I told them that we COULD skip it, but they both--vocally begrudgingly--said they would do it.)
They had me hide in a sideroom after the ceremony while they discreetly rounded up their witnesses to sign the license, as if they were afraid someone would try to interfere. Later they asked me not to use any pictures for my website.
My guess is that the whole thing was equal parts appeasing certain family members ("you HAVE to have a wedding!") while sticking it to other certain family members, but damn, what two miserable reasons to have a wedding. :/ I wish they'd chosen a more private ceremony with just me and the two legally required witnesses. I hope they're doing well now...
Tea ceremony is really beautiful. It's literally just a few minutes of serving tea and the parents giving a gift to the couple. HOW HARD IS THAT??!?!?! That was BS. I would ban them FOR SURE!!
Yeah, it's weird to refuse such request, seems like a beautiful and meaningful ceremony. I feel like the parents might not approve of the weeding, if they are unwilling to participate in something that obvious means a lot to the groom.
@@cristela4034 Right?!?!?!?!
They have to take shoes off? Kneel? Heaven forfend!
@@OldManAndTheSeaOfTooManyCats the parents are not the one who kneels its the bride and groom to their parents as a sign of respect to your parents....what is wrong with that? You wear shoes in side your house? How uncivilized. lol
@@wewenang5167Pardon me if I offend you but I think he's joking or just being sarcastic.
My friends all know I'm uncomfortable with alcohol (as I also grew up with an alcoholic mother and fear becoming addicted like the bride expressed). If I asked them to do no alcohol for any reason for something supposed to be about me, they would agree and follow that rule.
Chelsea is not your friend. She was indeed trying to live vicariously through you with no concern about how it made you feel.
you know how close the brothers are, cause days after they discussed about it with his brother crying about it, that brother wasn't angry at his brother that's getting married. they pretty much have a solid relationship with each other and the brother probably knows how supportive (and protective?) the groom is to him as his brother
For the Chinese Tea Ceremony, NTA.
If the parents wants to "Skip it" because "It's absurd and stupid", then why are they bitching and crying about "Not being invited to the wedding"?
It sounds racist on the parents' part! If they don't want to be a part of a wedding tradition, then what else would they hate? And all because it's a part of a "Different culture"?
If you can't and won't have an open mind, don't bother being in your adult kids' lives!
oh phew at first I thought you were saying the PARENTS were NTA, lol
@@danielleking262 XD NEVER! OP was in the right here! The parents sound like a couple of despicable scumbags that only care about themselves or whatever!
If I was friends with Chelsea, i would DEFINITELY be putting that friendship on the back burner, at least until after the wedding
I'd throw the whole friend away. She's no friend acting like that😂
I have a feeling that "being each other's maid of honour" would end up with OP being expected to be at Chelsea's beck and call while Chelsea does the bare minimum for OP
Yeah, that’s not a tough one. Chelsea is being a bad friend.
From her comments, it doesn't seem like she wanted to stop being friends with her and wants for her to still be MOH. I don't think she dropped her as a friend, but maybe way after the wedding.
I believe it's an honor when people want to show you their culture. One thing I am so thrilled I did, even 16 years later, was go with my friend from L.A. to S.F. to attend a Quinceanera
I knew someone who was a lesbian and her sister was getting married. She wanted to bring her girlfriend but only her sister knew she was gay. So they both sat down and talked about it. And the sister decided to come out a few weeks before the wedding. Anyway, it went well and heard the wedding was great!
The last bride was not the asshole. It's not the bride's responsibility to heal her friend's trauma, the friend should seriously do some therapy to help her deal with her trauma in a healthy way without screwing up the last meaningful relationship she has, the one with the bride.
Right? She literally kidnapped the OP of that one! You can't just take someone on an impromptu night away and not give them an escape option. She had to call someone for help so her dog wouldn't suffer. That was so messed up.
On top of that, the friend definitely seems to be acting way over the top over a guy cheating on her. I get it happens, but it was an entire year she had to get over it and let it go. Instead she clearly held on to it as if no one has ever cheated before. This behavior only makes me wonder if the friend was always this crazy and insensitive beforehand and that this situation only opened OP’s eyes to the reality of how toxic this relationship really was.
I cannot believe the parents who don’t want to be part of the tea ceremony. My family is very very um…Texan. Lol But if I asked them to be part of a tea ceremony, they would be thrilled! They love experiencing interesting things.
It is about culture and traditions of another culture. This is why marriage is the union of all the family instead of just the couple otherwise only those who marry by themselves are truly honest.
If those parents didn't go to their tea ceremony, they better expect NO5 be invited to the wedding ceremony. It is only fair, and just go to the party after the marriage ceremony.
Also, it's nothing incredibly 'different' - it is a TEA ceremony, not an arsenic ceremony wth - some people live a bland life without curiosity...
@@timeless9820 yes! You can’t pick and choose which parts of a person you’ll care about, especially if that person is marrying your child. It’s all or nothing
@@OrontesRM 💯 😆
At least your open minded. The parents called it stupid even before they experienced it. Racist af.
Never use someone's wedding as a distraction to come out as gay. Just don't do it. You NEVER know if someone is going to get loud and obnoxious at your news and ruin the festivities. Just don't do it. If there had been time, you could have sent a lovely photo postcard of you and BF holding hands with the words 'Meet my BF. We'll see you at XXY's wedding. No drama. Just a heads up." That would do it. lol
With the first one: I’m pansexual and nonbinary and there’s been holidays when I considered coming out, but decided against it cause I didn’t know how people would react and didn’t want to ruin the holiday. Ended up coming out recently on just some random day in may cause it felt right.
NEVER come out on a wedding. I know it’s stressful cause a lot of the time you don’t know, but that is just not the time. ANY other day is possible. There’s 364 other days in the year, one of those can be picked. Same with holidays. There’s hundreds of other days in the year, don’t take it from the people you love.
How about not "announcing" it. How about just living your life? How about let's not perpetuate discrimination and homophobia by our own actions? Live your life and let them think what they want. Do people "announce" that they're strait? No, they just live their lives. Do that. How 'bout 'dat?
@@americanmanhood girl what
Why do these parents find having a cup of tea with their daughters future husbands parents to be stupid?
Mom " it's sounds stupid "
Daughter: " Then it sounds stupid you think you're coming to my wedding. "
The whole situation reeks of racism on the parents part
@@alicianelson1252 True like, ew. Drink the tea or don't come to the wedding.
Charlotte, I'm with ya on the Indian (Sikh) weddings they know how to party. I went to one with live band & DJ and the groom grabbed the mic and started spitting d&b bars over traditional music rapidly turning it into a rave, it was lit.
Also seeing old woman dance to d&b and dubstep is something everyone should see.
I love the elegant clothes that Sikh men wear for weddings, the bride's attire is gorgeous and takes center stage, but I think the Sikh grooms are incredibly handsome and look like princes from a fairy tale.
I agree but i never went to a Sikh wedding and I'm Gujarati our weddings are similar as you described
If my daughter asked me to be part of a traditional tea ceremony my response would be ‘you had me at tea’
I frocking love tea. All the tea.
That sibling thing at the beginning is heart wrenching. Neither seem like the a-hole and they both have real unselfish reasons behind their motivations.
I can understand the dress shopping part. As odd as it sounds, that actually makes sense. Trying on dresses allows the bride to see what style, shape, embellishments, etc., work best for her. This way she knows what to tell her seamstress friend. As a designer/seamstress/dressmaker myself, I always appreciate it when a client comes to me with inspiration photos or has a solid idea of what they want. As for the rest, the bride is right, her friend was trying to live vicariously through her. I mean I get why she was doing it. But it takes a certain degree of immaturity to pull something like this. If the bachelorette party had simply been a few friends at a lake house for a nice dinner and to do some hiking and watch movies, that would have been a good compromise. But what the MOH did was so far off what was requested, she made her intention obvious without saying anything. Why not just throw some strippers in too? Yes I'm being sarcastic
@@memawknowsbest4978 My bad I misunderstood that part.
Agreed Chelsea clearly wasnt over her loss. She was living in a delusion of what she wanted for her own wedding and events. Calling OP the bad person was just terrible. I hope one day she will recover and move on from what had happened. And OP should remove her from the wedding caz Id have a hunch that she would put the spotlight on her and wear a wedding dress herself, ruin OP's wedding, and make a fool out of herself.
I think the alcohol when she knew OP doesn’t drink, asked specifically to not involve alcohol and has past trauma regarding alcohol is the thing that just makes it not even a question who’s the AH there. She’s not your best friend is she disregards your feelings to such an extent.
I would love to do a tea ceremony for/with my daughter! How fun! I wonder if they are just uncomfortable because they don't know what to expect? Maybe they don't know what an acceptable gift would be? Maybe helping them know what to expect would help them? My husband's cousin married into a Vietnamese family and their wedding had a lot of their traditions in it. We found it fascinating! And so did our kids! Give it a chance Mom and Dad!
Maybe they're just bigots? Lol your guess is much more optimistic than mine 😋
The tea ceremony seems beautiful! Uniting both families. It would be beautiful!
Moroccan weddings are crazy too, with tons of people, lots of dancing, tons of really good food, and of course tons of traditions. they are so fun and beautiful, especially the brides dresses, the one I went to she changed into 3 different dresses and they were all stunning, and hand made.
I'm not gay but I'm queer (attracted to more than one gender). I understand the groom completely. It's amazing that he supports his brother, but at a big event where gossip and drama might already be happening is not the time to come out. Especially because it will take away from the bride and groom. His brother should come out before the wedding if he wants to bring his boyfriend.
How many attractions are there? All i know is heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual. You said queer is attractions to more than one gender as in bisexual?
@@febspark3221 queer is an umbrella term for the entire community. There are multiple sexualities where you are attracted to multiple genders (bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, omnisexual etc) as well as those on the asexual and aromantic spectrum (demisexual, demiromantic, greysexual, greyromantic etc), and then there are those who are trans or gender diverse (nonbinary, agender, trans ftm and mtf etc) and then there are those who dont assign themselves to any label. Basically there are a lot of them haha. A lot of people use queer because its an easy to understand and widely known umbrella term. Sometimes its also just how they identify
Look, if what you mean is you’re attracted to the opposite sex and non-binary (but they’re still the opposite sex), you’re still straight,
why is bringing a date to an event a big "coming out" thing? and secondly, if OP supports his brother so much, why is he still on speaking terms with relatives he's that worried would openly gay bash his brother at his wedding?
absolutely, foot down on coming out announcements. bringing a date? not an issue. just don't invite homophobes to your wedding
Nah don't come out at the wedding. Weddings are already prone to drama, things go wrong all the time. Don't make this once-in-a-lifetime event go left.
Once in a lifetime? Maybe supposed to be once in a lifetime 😂😂
@@Gofftits69 Right? Like that best man who started his toast to the bride and groom (second marriage for the groom) with "Welcome back everyone!"
@@Gofftits69 lol we can always hope 🤷🏾♀️
Or maybe don’t invite the people who hate your brother who you claim to love more than them anyway. He says that he’s willing to cut them out of his life but still invited them
@@CaliSaint To uninvite the bad ones, he'd have to know who the bad ones are. Correct me if I'm wrong, but OP only stated that some of his relatives have more older mindsets. That doesn't necessarily mean they're homophobic, my grandma always appeared to have an "older mindset" but she turned out to be the most accepting of me being trans, even more so than my parents. Let's say the brother comes out before, it might go well and everyone can still come, or some relatives show their homophobia and will be uninvited, OP can't just uninvite everyone who *might* be unaccepting, because many won't actually be. He's ready to cut someone out, if he knows that they hate his brother, but he doesn't know at that point.
I'd say that the tea ceremony was an integral part of the wedding. Skipping that would essentially mean they're skipping pert of the wedding. Guilt trip them a little by asking if there's anything else that's part of the wedding they'd want to skip as well.
It's 2:30am, my 6 week old daughter is fast asleep, I have a poorly kitty on my lap, my husband is in bed fast asleep with our other two cats... I think it's the perfect time to watch some Bridezilla videos with Charlotte Dobre ❤️
I hope your fur baby got better!
I'm gay and I can say I wouldn't choose my brother''s weddings as day to come out. You can come out any day or not is your choice but don't use your brother's wedding to deflect the issue. he knows that, at the wedding, there won't be a full confrontation with with the family. He is definitely using the wedding to soften the "coming out". The brother shouldn't put the groom in that difficult situation. Just "come out" before the wedding, why don't you visit your family on a weekend with your boyfriend, then you go to the wedding with your head held high
We got married un-dramatically at the council offices. The (now ex) wore white, and I was in uniform (RAF) and there was no video BUT if there had been, it would have shown the bride climbing the fence at the back of the venue to get a snack from the local shop lol.
A tea ceremony is no more stupid than wearing a metal circle on your finger or throwing a bundle of plants at your friends. It's all symbolic.
i hope one day we live in a world where there is no need for him to come out. he just shows up at the wedding with his man and everyone is like, "oh, is this your new partner? how nice to meet you."
Yess this is my favorite series! I love binge watching your videos at work haha, keep up the awesome work!!!
"Oooooo!" ----- the sound I made when Charlotte suggested he come out before the wedding! Don't ya just love the way our Potato Queen thinks!
Refusing to participate in a culturally significant tea ceremony makes you wonder if the parents have realized that any potential grandchildren will be children of BOTH cultures. Where you come from gives your life meaning and texture. Honoring other people's traditions is a small price to pay for being part of your child's important moments.
Nice.
BEST.COMMENT.EVER!!! You win 🏆!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself
Our potato queen! Yes!!
These were some of the most reasonable brides/grooms I've ever seen on an AITA video on this channel.
The tea serving ceremony is very important and sweet. Before the bride leaves home, the bride and the groom will serve tea to her parents, thanking them for the upbringing, care and love in the family. For the groom's side, it is the drinking of the tea that shows that they are accepting the bride to join their family as a member. The newly weds will receive expensie gifts (gold) or red packets (cash). Both families will give blessings and advice to the newly weds. A very touching ceremony as you can always see tears, especially in the bride's side.
Yes!!! Here in India weddings are very much like festivals for the family. Each culture has its own unique set of beautiful rituals.
As a gay I think coming out at somebody else's wedding when you know extended family is bigoted is just a total a-hole move. I would say it is fine for the brother to bring his boyfriend if they just act as just friends i.e. no coming out, no hand holding/dancing/kissing. I have gone to weddings with platonic gay friends and gone to events with an ex's family where we pretended we were platonic, neither are difficult. The event is not about the brother it is about the bride and groom.
The first story, this man got stuck in a bad place. He seems like a really considerate guy. Wishing him, his wife and his bro all the best.
If one of my kids told me I needed to dress in a full leotard and dance down the aisle for their SOs tradition I would rock that be-otch and be proud to be included. Let's have it normal to get outside of our comfort zones and do for those we claim to love so much.
"Anything that takes attention from the bride and groom it is in poor taste let us steer away from that" - my thoughts exactly . The brother who is getting married is the right in this and the brother who is coming out is extremely self centred if not a-hole . Everyone should only be thinking about him , his grief , his happiness, his acceptance even though other siblings have their own lives and deserve some happiness of their own .
THANK YOU!!! Totally agree! The gay brother is being a totally selfish dick for even thinking of doing this. “How can I make my brother’s day all about me too? I know!” Total dick move
at the beginning I felt like this was a situation, where the brother already cam out and the groom did not want other guests to think sth bad about the groom and bride. Basically an ass kisser...but as you said this is really self-centered. Like saying you are pregnant at someones wedding or getting engaged because your lazy self could not organise shit
I don't think the brother is necessarily the A-hole. I do understand that thing about softening the blow, but I also have to be firm the someone else's wedding or special event is not the place for it. OP even said later that his brother understands why OP wouldn't want him to come out at his wedding. Maybe he was hurt at first, but he came around after they talked about it. I wouldn't say anyone was the A-hole in this story.
The brother may honestly be socially clueless too. Depending on his age he may not have been to many weddings and may not understand the etiquette.
Totally agree. It’s the bride and grooms day. Celebrating the union between man and woman ❤
I’m all for supporting gay relationships, but a wedding is not the time or place to come out. It’s selfish. Come out before or after, but not at the wedding. NTA.
Idk if showing up with your partner is called "coming out" at a wedding. Now if you made it into a speech or spoke loudly about it that's different. But if I showed up with my gf to a wedding, and anybody made it into a situation, I'd be like ......are you seriously doing this at (insert names) wedding? Get a life. Nobody cares if people are gay or bi anymore.
@@Crowski If you had never said anything to you family or introduced your partner to them before, then showing up with them would essentially be coming out, especially if you introduce them as your partner.
Showing up and just hoping for the best isn't really a good way to go about it at someones wedding or event unless you know for a FACT that your family won't care.
We still live in a time where people coming out are often faced with discrimination, hate, and rejection from their own friends and family, so I'm pretty sure people do still, unfortunately, care.
@@FanFickChick1992 I mean, bring him and don't introduce him that way, just introduce by name and let it be. They don't HAVE to know the relationship of it. For all they know he could be your friend.....
I was in a same sex relationship for 4 years during don't ask don't tell and did that same thing many, many times...
We just showed up, hung out, nobody asked anything, nobody cared.
We never made it into a spectacle.... but then again if we did she'd lose her career in the Air Force.
@@Crowski Fair enough, and possibly a compromise that could have been made. It really depends on how his brother would have planned on addressing it at thr wedding, and how much "PDA" would have been involved. Going and keeping jt casual and on thr DL might have been great, but it sounded like his brother wanted to go in guns blazing and hope for the best.
Again, I don't think anyone here is really in the wrong for wanting what they want. It's just a tricky situation.
Also, sorry you had to do that for so long.
@@FanFickChick1992 Yeah if they kept it on the DL probably no issues....but idk them.
It definitely was torture having to keep it hidden.
But man once DADT was lifted, I ran outside our house and hugged/kissed her!
I NEVER got to do that before.
We never really had dates outside of our house because if somebody saw her, once again her career was at stake.....
It was many many years ago, but I feel for gay/bi men/women that feel like they have to hide the person they love.
I would love to go to a tea ceremony! Any tea ceremony will do! No, but seriously, the parents of that bride were pretty rude and it wasn't like they had a decent excuse for not wanting to go. I think it was lovely to see the bride standing up for her partner like that and realising how important this was to him. That being said, I hope that the parents got over it and made it to the tea ceremony and the wedding after all.
With the coming out one, the groom seems to really care about his brother, I hope they figured it out! I agree with you Charlotte, he could have come out before that, I don't think someone else's wedding is the time and place for that. I wish we had updates!
Heard too many horror stories about people coming out at their siblings/friends wedding, and it just upset everyone. It's in the same vein as proposing at someone elses wedding, or letting eveyrone know you're pregnant at someone elses wedding. It steals the thunder and just makes people upset.
As for the last story, I said no alcohol at my wedding cuz I don't drink (It interacts badly with my meds, and I don't like to drink in general) and my partner is 100% down. It's expensive, people do stupid stuff while drunk, and it sucks being the only sober one at a party of drunks.
I 100% agree with the first story, definitely not the ahole. The amount of drama would implode the entire wedding. If he comes out before then that'd solve all issues, but a wedding is not the place to do so.
re the tea ceremony: it would be better if her parents didn't attend at all, rather than that they turned up but sneered and mocked all the way through it.
The groom and his parents obviously find this ceremony deeply meaningful and having negative people there would not go down well.
*that sneeze* ….just as I’m putting popcorn to my mouth…. I damn near choked laughing!
The Tea 🫖
My parents are divorced and if I asked them to take part in the tea ritual they would both do it no problem. They wouldn’t have any objections but even if they did they would say if nothing else it’s a good opportunity to meet the future other Grandparents. They would carry the mentality “best interest of the child” for a child that’s not even conceived yet!
WHERE👏🏼IS👏🏼MY👏🏼SHARK👏🏼KISS
Why would you not want to experience other cultures? Every country I was in while in the Air Force, I wanted to learn everything I could about the people there. Embrace the experience!
Typically speaking, when two people from different backgrounds get married there will always be different cultures to accept. If/when they have children, those kids will take part in more Chinese-American cultures, traditions, food, holidays, etc. Other family members learn this at the start with a wedding that is meant to join to families into one.
If your parents don’t accept your partner’s culture or traditions, you need to set new boundaries of your new expectations. They can deny or accept but they cannot tell you how to live.
Thank you for using the contrasting highlighted text in these videos! It's super helpful to me and makes these videos way more accessible. Thanks Charlotte!!
Charlotte, you have no ideal how much I look forward to your videos! Life is hard right now and the struggle with my anxiety and depression is getting out of hand however, the pick me up I get from your videos helps a ton. You're so wholesome, funny, and positive that even though I don't personally know you, you still feel like a friend! Thank you DOLL!!! Hope your day is amazing! Lots of love and positivity!
I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with anxiety and depression and yet glad that you found Miss Charlotte. We’re all here to help you through it too! If you haven’t binge watched all of her videos, I highly recommend that as part of your treatment plan! I found it very helpful in the midst of my own struggles. Sending you prayers and hugs from San Antonio TX USA.
@@davidguidry657 Ditto to everything you wrote❤️except my hugs are from Portland, Maine😊
@@lisafranklin9089 I love that this community is so supportive and caring! Thank you for the prayers and hugs for our sister! ❤️🩹
@@davidguidry657 ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you all so much! This community that Charlotte has created has to be one of the best here on RUclips! You guys are amazing. It does warm my heart to have people reach out and send prayers, hugs, and positivity. Thank you for boosting my day. It's the little things like this that have a huge impact on someone's life. Sending you all prayers, hugs, and positivity from Clinton, TN! 🥰 I'm proud to be apart of this wonderful community!
I don't even drink tea and I don't see how I could tell my child I wasn't going to attend the tea ceremony. Just because it's different doesn't mean it's weird...
the tea ceremony is where the elders like parents, auntie and uncles gave GOLD accessories to the couple. trust me, you dont want to miss that. lol
The fact that the last one, the best friend living vicariously through her friend, freaks me out a little. I have a best friend that I love very much but she does kinda try to push her ideas into me and when I don’t do them or go along with it, she gets butthurt over it. I’ve told my boyfriend, who wants to marry me one day, I’m worried about her trying to make it about her and her wedding when it’s supposed to be mine and my man’s day. Both my boyfriend and his sister told me “when the time comes, you’ll see how she really acts. And if she does push her ideas on my wedding, then just tell her and if she keeps it up, she wouldn’t be in the wedding”
Here’s to hoping I will have a smooth eventual wedding 🤞🏻😅
Tea ceremony: "it's weird and stupid" is a pretty loud dog whistle for " we don't want to take part in no *insert Chinese racial slur* ceremony.
They "can't really explain" because they know how they'd sound.
It really doesn't matter if it's a tea ceremony or going out to a barn somewhere and jumping over a broom, (or whatever). It's something the grooms family, and your DAUGHTER want to do.
It would be a little different if it was something you are morally apposed to. But it being "silly" is not a good reason.
The brother had been trying to get brother to come out for YEARS. Why would he push it for brothers wedding day? Not the time or place.
If he wants the to come out, wait for the holiday family dinner table.
Chinese here. The tea ceremony is an important part of Chinese weddings as it indicates that you respect the elders of your own family and the family you are joining. Even non-traditional styled Chinese weddings usually include that part. The bride's parents were just being extremely racist.
The tea ceremony sounds beautiful. I would love it!!
As an Indian what I have been taught is that to RESPECT others traditions ( If if you think it’s stupid) , especially when the bride and groom have diff traditions. Which is really realllly common.
Sneezes are interesting. Mine are loud and ridiculous and I wish I could reel them in. My cousins kid quietly goes MEEP. The first time I heard it I said did you step on a mouse lol.
Lol I sneeze like a freaking lumberjack lol. My hubby is a tiny little mouse squeek sneezer too lol and he's a giant
Last story- she tride on wedding dress and so don't be surprised if she shows up in one on your wedding day!!!!
I’m not sure the specific differences, but I have had the privilege of attending a traditional tea service when I visited Kyoto, Japan. It was lovely and an experience I am glad to have had. I don’t know why you would want to turn down the opportunity to experience even a small part of a different culture, especially something as benign as a tea ceremony. Not to mention that the tea ceremony in question is very important to the groom and his family! I can understand maybe being nervous about participating in something you don’t understand, but is not doing a tea ceremony really worth missing out on your daughter’s wedding? Some people, I swear 😑
Almost 10 years ago I introduced my boyfriend to my family at my older sisters 30th birthday party one summer. I cleared it with her and she was all for it. Aside from my closest friends and my siblings I'd never told any family I was gay. I didn't care if anymore would object but didn't feel I should ever have to formally "come out." No str8 guy has had to tell his family they like girls they just show up and introduce her. I am very str8 acting there were still people who didn't know. So wen I showed up I did the same. I never once said it was my bf but any person with a brain could tell. Luckily everyone loved him and not a bad word was spoken. I only hope others coming out have the same results I did.
As long as you cleared it with your sister beforehand and she was cool with it, then that's a green light. 👍
@@danielleking262 I said so in the post. Also even if I didn't it should still be good. People invite new partners to family events all the time. Birthdays are about family weddings are only about the bride.
@@damona3004 Yes, sorry, I meant then you're all good since you did confirm with her, unlike the post in Charlotte's video where the brother was uncomfortable with that choice.
Agreed, this is one of the rare times I don't agree with Charlotte. Being gay is no different than being straight, and unless one expects all their straight friends to come out before a family gathering, I don't think it's fair to expect that of someone who's gay. Personally I've never had a coming out moment, if it comes up in conversation it does, otherwise it doesn't, and anyone who tries to pick a fight can leave. Honestly expecting your brother to "celebrate" a wedding without their loved one is kinda asshole and I wouldn't attend.
If I was the Brother I would help plan a 'coming out party' to celebrate his love of his boyfriend and make it soley about him and not the wedding day. That's not his day. The other brother was trying to use the cover of the wedding to come out is well, selfish to drop this one week before the wedding.
I married a handsome half-Peruvian, and his family planned the rehearsal dinner around some of their favorite dishes from Peru. I was so nervous about my side of the family making snide comments (not wholly unprecedented), but they loved the food and it turned out to be a sweet time! This bride’s parents are probably missing out on something really cool. It’s a shame, really.
My husband is Asian too. I had a tea ceremony too. It is very simple, but very beautiful. There is a table with tea and nuts. Each set of family members take turns setting at the table. We do a deep bow and serve them tea. Each family member takes turns giving advise. There was no gift giving in mine. Honestly I look back seeing it has the best and most meaningful part of my special day.
Mmmm the smell of bridezillas in the morning!
At my wedding there was my daughter, her girlfriend, my best man, his boyfriend, R (I don’t remember her plus one) and my wife's transgender cousin and her boyfriend. They were all out and proud before our wedding. The strange thing is none of them started snogging or doing the dirty during the speeches, but nor did the straight people. As a rule gay people don’t wear a big badge saying "Gay, keep clear." Their mannerisms if they have any, dress style etc will be the same no matter who they are with on the night. No one would probably know what their sexuality is and most won't care.
I’m a recovering alcoholic and for my stag night we went for a meal. There were people there like my brother, brother in law, friend of over 40 years who have been very supportive over the 27 years of my sobriety. I do find people getting p***ed out of their head tiresome but it doesn’t trigger in any way.
I married into a Scando-Romani family and there were alot of things that my Roman Catholic Mother(I'm Pagan as is my husband and his family)thought were "very unusaul" and definitely oitside her religion.
However my Mother loves my husband and his family and put in every effort to be there for all rituals and asked a million questions on what to do, what to say, how to react in every aspect of my very long marriage ceremony.
I'm so proud of my Mother for being so supportive even though she was way out of her depth. I know it's not the wedding she envisioned her only child to have but she still was gracious, loving, and suportive of my choice.
My in laws are the most wonderful ppl. Before getting married I asked for their help in properly intergrating into Scando-Romani family life. My Mother in Law calls me "the daughter she never had" and I lover her dearly. My husband's entire family was nervous of me to begin with because it is *VERY* abnormal for a non Romani to marry a non Romani, let alone have the blessings of all the family. The fact that I really did care about his culture and genuinely wanted to not just learn but understand everything I could about my husband's family and way of life got them to see I was serious and honest about being apart of not only his life but theirs as well.
Families need to be mindful that a tea ceremony may not seem to be a big deal for them but to the other side it maybe something that is a deeply ingrained part of their culture. Please for the sake of your child make every resonable effort to take part in every part of the wedding(before, during and after). This is your child's most important day and you should try your best to be supportive of things that you don't nessacarily understand.
I looked into the ceremony. Literally it is similar to how some people may throw a engagement party but it is very mellow.