Episode 27:I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help! How to Help Someone Accept Treatment
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2021
- If you care for someone with a diagnosed serious mental illness (SMI) , you know that it isn’t easy to help them begin, or continue, treatment.
You hear “I’m not sick! I don’t need help!”
That phrase inspired our guest to find a way, write a book, and create a movement.
Dr. Xavier Amador is a world-renowned clinical psychologist & forensic expert, and a Family caregiver of relatives with schizophrenia and bipolar. He founded NAMI’s Scientific Council, helped to launch Family-to-Family, Peer-to-Peer & In Our Own Voices, and wrote the book I AM NOT SICK I Don’t Need Help!
We talk about:
Dr. Amador’s family story: his brother Henry, and his son, with Schizophrenia
What do we do when our loved one says I am not sick, I don't need help?
Listening: without judgment, and with respect.
Anosognosia, and how to approach someone who has it
The Henry Amador Center on Anosognosia
The power of your relationship
Changes - and changes needed - in the mental health system
Takeaways from the input from families and also people with mental illness?
Diffusing Anger
3 A’s: Apologize, Acknowledge, Agree (to disagree)
Crisis Communication v. long-term communication
The LEAP method (listen, Empathise, Agree, Partner) and how families - and law enforcement - can be trained
Role-play: Addressing Covid Vaccine reluctance with relative with SMI
LAI (long-acting injectables) vs. pills every day
Quotes:
“You’re not going to make a delusion worse by listening to it and letting your loved one know that you’ve heard him and that you understand his anger, you understand his fear.” - Dr. Amador
My brother never believed he was mentally ill...but he stayed in treatment for the rest of his life” - Dr. Amador
Links:
Henry Amador Center on Anosognosia: hacenter.org/home
Book: I Am Not Sick! I Don’t Need Help: 20th Anniversary Edition: www.amazon.com/gp/product/098...
Who Are the 3 Moms?
Randye Kaye -Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (“Ben Behind his Voices”)
Miriam Feldman - Artist, Mom, Author “He Came in With It”
Mindy Greiling - member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. Activist, Legislator, Author (“Fix What You Can“)
Im having a really hard time with the part of acknowledgement that you will agree that nothing is wrong (because its more important to support them) then speak truth....in the communications where the person is ill. I do get your approach but I find it hard when my son tells me nothing is wrong I can not agree with that.
This condition is living in hell on earth and year after year I stuff all of the defective negative emotions guilt, fear, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, isolation, lack of support, lack of resources. Isolation is a real serious contribution to other illness. I am dealing with this all alone.
I so appreciate the education I receive on this channel. As a mother of a 23 y o son with delusions it is so helpful just knowing you’re not alone. I’ve read all 3 books!
Thank you so much!
Sending you all good vibes! I love you guys! I have schizoprenia!
thanks, Sean!
I’m working towards repairing a relationship with a loved one with mental illness. Javier’s book and lectures are helpful. However, it can be a lengthy process to rebuild relationships.
very very true. we hear you
This was eye opening. My mother suffers.
I’m so glad. Dr Amador’s book changed so much for us
This is a wonderful introduction to communication & I learned so much that I then spent $125 to attend an online training. While it was also good, it has to be noted it is only a beginning course and there are no opps to ask specific questions or practice. Also, I wrote the Center a week ago asking if they could recommend a coach or therapist trained in the method, as even Dr. Amador states it took him 7 years to effectively learn his method...but no answer...so another one for the list of agencies and people who DO NOT ANSWER. A bright note: the website now says that a list of LEAP-trained therapists will be available soon.
Wonder episode. Thank you!
You’re welcome! We are going to invite Dr Amador back on later this year.
You’re welcome! We will invite Dr. Amador back on later this year
Thank you mom’s for taking the time with this channel. I’m a brother trying to preserve the relationship I have with my younger brother.
I find that any dialogue around medication/treatment causes my brother fury. This is amplified at an exponential rate when I need to hospital him. Does anyone have any advice on how to get past this? How can I be his friend if he hates me for hospitalisation?
Hi Lochlan, Dr. Amador's book and trainings can help a lot with this - have you had a chance to read them or check out the resources in the show notes? hang in there...
I do appreciate all of the experiences all of you have had. But where is the part about how you got your loved one to accept diagnosis and treatment? How did you get them to the doctor?
You wont make a delusion worse by listening but you wont make it better either. That is the neutral position I live in with my son.............although his delusion is not getting worse but he is. His health and mine are deteriorating in the unabated circumstances of mental and physical health both declining for both of us. No solutions. I just witness this happening year after year. I have tried every method of gaining his cooperation over 7 years and nothing has worked. NOTHING
I would like to know if there is any way to get the training program that the doctor Amador is offering. I live in los ángeles California and I am interested because my husband has bipolar disorder
There is a link in the resources for signing up for trainings. His book is also such a good resource. His focus is schizophrenia but the method works with other SMI episodes as well. So sorry you are all going through this. Good luck!
How do we get mental health experts to understand this and treat our loved ones accordingly?
I wish we knew. Spreading knowledge and support for now….
I wish we knew the answer! Doing what we can …
HERES THE SCARY PART..NOW MY HEALTH IS DECLINING AND SO WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM WHEN I DIE?
TERRIFYING
What do you do when their delusions are about you being evil and trying to hurt them? Or if they hear your voice as one of their auditory hallucinations?
Well according to this video, you ask your loved one, how are you trying to hurt them and open up a conversation with them and tell them you're sorry that you weren't aware that of that.
I do not want to be negative but I have been listening for 7 years and I am going down with my son and his illness it has both of our lives. One can only go so long living under these conditions. There has to be more than listening if listening is not working do you have another suggestion?
Hi Mary, I know. It is so hard. This approach has a lot,to,it and it might be best to get more details in Dr. Amador’s book, or to take the LEAP training. There are more answers there, though of course it’s not a cure-all. How I wish it was. In my case, this approach has at least helped not make things worse…and my son did stay on meds much longer when I stopped trying to “convince” him he is ill.
What do any of the mental health experts say about electronic harassment?
Hi. This is a great question. A family member believed he's being manipulated and targeted via electronics?
How can I listen if my loved one won't speak of his delusions or voices. He barely speaks at all, and when he does he makes NO sense!
There is SO much to learn when our loved ones are like this. Highly recommend NAMI family to Family class, which will start a good foundation.Also LEAP training.