When You Can't Get Over Her Past | by Jay Shetty | XoXo
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- Опубликовано: 4 апр 2018
- Everyone you meet is going to come with their own baggage. You just need to find the person who loves you enough to help you unpack.
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Credit for Quotes:
“Everyone you meet comes with baggage, find someone who cares enough to help you unpack.” ― Ziad K. Abdelnour
I accepted her past I never utter a single word about her past then guess what?
She cheated on me😂
Chutiyap h aisi ladki k saath relation m jana😂
It was just your turn, to be her past..
You just got added to the list for her next story
Iski baate mat suno bhai
This whole social media pseudo influencers don't know anything about human psychology , motivation ke naam pe kuch bhi pel dete h
There is a research on promiscuous people , promiscuous people who had lot of sexual partners in their past can't hold a long term relationship with one single person , Period !!!! They always crave for the sexual high after some years maybe there are some exceptions but majority of time it happens so tum kitne bhi acche ho isse koi fayda nhi suar gu khane hi jayega
Bro you dear deserve the world don't worry about who left you 😊
Be Happy 💗
Her past will ruin your future 😊, stay safe kings
Bro...
I am in the same boat brother there's this girl who really likes me and I've grown feelings for her but hearing about her past and how she said that so many guys destroyed and plowed her anally and done so many sexual acts on her on one night stands... tbh i feel like doing her the same thing and then leaving but honestly ill just tell her kindly as possible that a relationship will not work with us. Its like her boothyhole does not even have the ability to stay closed thats just shows how destroyed she has been by Chad and tyrone and now she expects me to marry her. She really should not have told me her past because I cannot get over it.
Cut your loses quickly
Great attitude man, i bet youre real popular with the girls
@@xii592happens to the best of us man
I worked on this just to make things work and eventually realized what I felt wasn't really jealousy or insecurity, but disgust at her being able to do very intimate things without a shred of intimacy. I was disgusted by her and broke up 3 days ago. It was hell. I had to choose love over disgust everyday and I won most days but it never stopped bugging me. For some strange reason I could never trust her. It was very weird. I'm pretty sure she had some narcissism, just like most promiscuous women. It was the right decision. Don't sell yourself short fellas. Fix what you can, but it shouldn't be a torture to be with them.
This is a very underrated comment. A womens sexual past matters, as it is a good indication of her ability to pair bond. Men instinctively know this, and feel paranoia about it as they should. Men and women have sex for completely different reasons. Men don't readily pair bond through sex like women do. The hormonal response during sex is even different for men and women. This video was made without nuance, and completely from a female oriented perspective.
Finally a comment that I can relate 1000% to... thank you for commenting this, really
I use this test when I question whether I having a rational or irrational reaction to something: Can I articulate why I feel this way? You very clearly articulated why you felt the way you did. Her core values were not compatible with yours. You made a wise and reasoned decision to leave. You probably also saved yourself from a lot of thankless hardship in the future when making it.
If she was in the Army damn....
i understand this feeling, it wasnt jealousy, it was the realization he didn't respect his body enough and was driven by sadness, the only way out is if they have repented, its only Jesus can change man or a woman
Guys care less about the longterm ex and more about the flings and one night stands.
Why should I have to romance and spend my resources (time included) to get intimacy when others before had to do nothing.
They get the best (fun part) of her at zero cost and we end up with the the total imperfect package and emotional baggage at full price.
It's a crap deal.
^sums it up to a tee.
You are so quick to give your body to a stranger after one dinner.
Yet, I am supposed to feel sex with you is special / intimate.
Women want a man that checks all their boxes. While we are supposed to treat them like queens while they hop on anything that gives them validation. It is so rich.
Nicely said
Remember, everyone you meet is going to come with their own baggage. You just need to find the right person who loves you enough to help you unpack.
Hard!!'
Very nice and true!
Make her Forget about her ex! Be the best she's been with! Be Alpha!
❤️
Why to be with someone who has baggage.
Except for my case. Having a an ex girlfriend who had more than 20 casual sex partner and who and had a hand full of one night stands with random guys who she barely even knows their names, it's really something to consider. Having someone with that history say alot about that person. It really puts me off.
RUN AWAY!
I understand. When I got with my ex wife, I was a virgin. I was somewhat surprised that she had many partners before, and she was only 18. Everyone told me to forget her past, it's no big deal. We stayed together, but several years later, she cheated on me with my best friend and set my life down a very rough path. I can handle an ex boyfriend, but random hook ups are a red flag. If your instinct tells you something isn't right about her past, move on. It's a pattern of behavior they will repeat eventually.
Are you still with them?
@@eddiebaby22ex
When you can’t get Over her past, it is time to let her go
A lock that can be opened by many keys is useless. Women need to remember that.
So let me get this shit straight: After she gave her box out to whomever she wanted to, without any particular set of criteria for doing so, now she wants you to forget all that and act as if nothing that she did matters or will have a repercussion on her present and future behavior??? Fuck that shit show...
This is an underrated comment. Feminism has ruined women in the west. It has taught women they can behave in as non-traditional way as they want, and still expect a man to move in a traditional way in a relationship with them.
Been there never again she acted perfect though we weren't detijf kept me on the side only to hear stories about other guys clapping
Agreed. No-one is worth sacrificing your self respect for.
Jay each & and everyday I get inspired by your thoughts sorry from your teachings ....it makes me feel good while listening to you
Love is always a great answer
This is the problem I'm facing right now. My girlfriend slept with an impressive number of dudes in the past. She stops that lifestyle 4 years ago (which is the main reason I'm dating her ). But sometimes, I find it's hard to get over her past and I tend to overeact when she talks to other guys.
Break up.
U r not at any fault.
U must not get into relationship with such girls.
How many can you please give me number
she for the streets bro
@@declanjohnson7605 You never know what someone's going through. She maybe doesnt have family or had real problems in her life it can be anything but this is her past and that is not mean that she is still same. Be open minded bro. Live is the only chance we have why would she be on streets she deserves everything best for her. I hope your child or you won't go through what she did. Becouse everybody doesnt have family or peace what you have ofcourse idk maybe you are maybe in the same situation w her but everyone's mentality isnt same. Sometimes you feel so lonely and desperate and this is not for all the time I mean bad times comes and passes that doesnt mean you have to live with that fucking stigma this is not all you are this is just a moment in your past this maybe a false but it should not limit your life. Sorry for my English bro this is my 2. Language
This is what happens when we don't forgive the ex, and remove them from our past field of experience. Without forgiveness we drag those preconceived notions into new relationships.
Always judge a person by their past! Dont listen to anyone who says let the past be past. NO! The past came bring STDs and trauma into the present.
Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. A woman wants a woman with a bright future 💵 an a man wants a women with a good past no cc
This is an underrated comment.
Facts
Remeber that love alone is not enough. You may be in love with someone but if you dont match. If you dont understand each other. This will always end up in breakup. Remember to be in love with the person you makes you feel and peace.
Love is never enough to make a marriage or relationship work. There has to be compatibitility and commitment.
"Love you enough to unpack your baggage"
Thank you so much Jay!
There is smile on my face when I see a notification from your channel !
Playboy!
I really appreciate his efforts on making simple short videos on relationships.
Thank you. This is me right now. Cant get over my bf's past. Tho I know he's changed and that it all happened before he met me, I still get terrible anxiety over it. I need to get over his past because i really love him. Wish i had not asked for details of his past because now it truly bothers me. I need to get over this.
Look up retroactive jealousy, you may find some good advice there
And Zachary Stockills RUclips-channel. Its dedicated to this very problem.
You asked for the details & he told you 😊...
Now imagine the level of commitment & submissiveness he has towards you... You don't find honest ppl easily these days. When he would have told you all the details, he would have been scared that he will lose you forever, he would also been hurt & ashamed of whatever he did... Despite this, he told you...
This means, you mean a lottt to him 😊
In such situations, lift the person up like your child... Understand them and why they did what they did and help them become a better person...
That's how relationships become stronger 😊✨
@@nehakhatri2826 thanx ,I needed this a lot
@@neerajak9319 I am super glad to have helped you in some way ☺️
Lots of love & power to you ☺️✨
THE REASON WHY I LIKE TO BE SINGLE
James you are the one who changes my life.I don't know why your content directly touches me.Thank you again you make my day😍😍😍
Historically, women are supposed to maintain their virginity until marriage. Before the birth control pill, people used to understand and respect that men prefer virgins.
If you're not the kind of man who deserves a virgin, marry a modern woman who compares you to her ex boyfriends. If you're a man of standards, find a woman who respects you enough to save her most intimate experiences just for you. That's true love. 💕
Practically impossible with a 'modern woman'.
yeah and there's other way to keep their 'virginity' til the marriage. you just can't trust nobody
Nobody is worth investing in people, stay single, relationships are horrible
I agree.
Whenever I wasn't able to text my ex's messages she would say I don't love her anymore.
And when I started texting her constantly she dumped me saying I am way too needy
JAY you are our great Life coach and Motivator
I loved this story too much . Jay You are the one of the My greatest Teacher and life coach I Got so much Positivity on love , Relationship , Life & Suceess from you
I know alot of people facing this problem. So true. Love ur videos. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for all of your content Jay. I can't express just how much your virtual guidance has helped me. Please, never stop doing what you do and being authentically you.
Thank you so much J for the video! Is a life changing to me. God bless you.
What a beautiful message, this channel really brights my day
You read my mind I needed this
Thank you Jay❤️ God bless you
Those are lucky whose lovers dont have a past but there is one thing to keep that in mind your past should also be clean and hope for the girl who dont have a past 50 50.
Beautiful....relationships are complicated but when you come to a common ground it all starts to make sense.
This dude is amazing!
No matter what I can't forget him...though we were best friends
You are always my daily motivation
This is such a powerful message.. to help unpack. Thank you Jay!
Relating my problems with this video bt now I have right way to change my person 😊😊😊😊
Thank you jay♥️
Last two videos are posted exactly on the time I felt so low. You're my motivator Jay. Love you from bottom of heart. God bless. :) 😍✌️
Everyone needs someone who will loves him/her enough to help unpack those baggage he/she have. Just like in a relationship, before we step in, we should unpack and leave our past behind before we could go on with our life together with our newly found one.
Your past always catches up to you in the long run. You better tell your partner before it catches up with them as well
@@everythingupkins8957Yup, the past is set in stone and affect the future. Someone things are so painful it can take years to unpack.. Catchy saying to *unpack* much more complicated in real life..
Hoew😂
Translation: imma403 😂
I used to do that with my boyfriend. He also spell her ex name lol But then i matured and when i watched your video jay shetty,i say congrats,you are really a man who knows a lot of what true love is.
It is one thing to have a past, it is another thing to have changed from the past. Is there anyone that does not have a past? Raise up your hand! If you raised your hand, that was a lie. If they have changed, forget the past as you want others to forget yours.
All the videos are really awesome and really inspirational. Thanks a lot jay
Her past disgusts me. I cannot change her past but I can change my partner. Let's be practical, as a guy I am ok to live alone for the rest of my life but won't live with a non virgin.
Girls, you have only one shot to have a meaningful and serious relationship, marriage or serious relationship. If you f**k it up it's on you. Get ready to die alone.
King 👑
Always be happy
Nah. I still will never be in a committed relationship with her because of her past
Never stop continue your work
Because your every video makes one better
Thank you for your videos!
Hi, you seem like you have a sense for what kind of content is motivating an we just launched a new video, and your feedback would mean a lot! Can you please check it out, and if you like it could you give us a like and a comment, it would be highly appreciated!
This is what I've been waiting for. 🙌🔥📸
Knowing the answer to some questions, isn't always good for a relationship. Every person on the planet has a story to tell and one they will never tell.
Unless the woman has a sexual disease or has kids there is really no reason to know details.
People love juicy stories about sexual encounters just as long as it's not about your partner. At the time they are telling the story it can even be exciting to you. Can be like a porn movie in you head, could even lead to sex or masterbating.
Eventually jealousy or whatever you want to call it raises it's ugly head. Some very innocent can set it off out of no where. You will damn he/she said they used to do this act a lot. Why won't they do that with me. Then it starts to grow in your head. They told me they used to have sex all the time. Why do they say no to me. Resentment moves to a new level. Anger starts and the relationship starts to go down hill. Thing only get worse because anger is effecting everything and causing you to drift. Be careful about how much you want to know or even more important how much information you can handle. The elephant is always in the room once it starts to bother you.
Thank you Jay for this as I had an issue with this and your advise has brought a new perspective to the issue. Blessings!
Love you man , thanks
100% right again Jay
Good to know . One of the most important thing
Awesome video Jay!❤ Love it!😇
You are just unbelievable jay😍
Well said Jay
Good advice thankyou jay
Thanks a ton..! 💚
Thanks man❤
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You make all of my days better Jayyyyyyyy. ❤️❤️
The best thing of this channel is English subtitles
Hey guys if you are struggling with her past. Please look inside you. Your insecurities are inside you. So ask yourself why does it bother you. I lost my ex girlfriend because I couldn’t handle her past and now I miss her every single day. If you really love them try to accept them because losing someone you really love and care about is a lot worse.
That's same here with me...I used to know about my girlfriend's ex and they were in physical relation to oo....icant accept that....I letteraly start to hate her......I just hurt her by talking about him...But now I really miss her presence ......
An advice to beta males and wimps
True
@@abijithpr3893 Betaaa!!! Simp!
Same for me right now unfortunately...
Hey jay, I love all your videos, I just wanted to say that some people might judge you on the fact that you don't have many millions of followers like other youtubers have but for me you are the best youtuber and you are doing the most meaningful job using youtube as tool. Thankyou for sharing you videos. Love from India👍
Spineless creatures!
Awesome video Jay doesn’t disappoint 👍🏼😊👏🏼 he should really think about coming out with a book 📖 I’ll definitely buy it 🤓he has such great advice 😊
Thanks bro... This is helpful
This man always inspires me. I just listen to him when i am down in life. Thank you JAY for all you have done ❤️👍
Can't wait for another one on Mother son relationships.
Jay sir a video so that i can focus on my studies and divert my focus from relationship
Save yourself a lot of grief and pass on those promiscuous women.
they need love too..
@@micahcarter8852 than don't judge us when we go to sluts atleast they give us sex which we want.
@@micahcarter8852 they should've thought about it before
Yes but they will lie and claim they haven’t majority do and you will fall for it I did many times
Thanks jay
This is called Retroactive jealousy and the judgement totally depends on whether he knew about her past before he was in the relationship . If yes , he does not have the right to be angry about it now. If no , then it will be hard to get over the fact that she lied or hid about her past causing more thrust issue for him
You are another one who manipulated by this kind of fucking baseless Videos. Spineless!
@@subhraprakashchakraborty597 i did not buy into the video content..i think it's baseless too
@@subhraprakashchakraborty597 accepting the past is something that can be done properly only if you know about it before you were into the relationship ..
If you got to know about their past in the other way while the partner has lied about it before your relationship ...
It make no sense to accept unless you don't any way out
That will be a serious cause of concern
What if it was cheating
But I found out during relationship from his mom .. she had only told me because me& him have been friends years before we started dating he would tell me about his relationships while we were friends but didn't tell me that ..
he has a little bit of crazy past
Now it's just made me feel I didn't experience enough
@@Kimberlyfloressexperienced enough, like sleeping around more?
That was beautiful💖
Your positive thinking makes people ignore all the red flags with people . Some mistakes are patterns not mistakes . People who have high numbers of sexy partners are red flags
This is why #NoHymenNoDiamond
She can never be yours if she has been with the whole block
this is why if he's watched porn, he's been ran through ladies! don't fall for a man who's watched porn, as we know the more porn men watch the less good in bed they are, the less faithful, and the more degenerate they are! when men watch porn they become ran through and useless to society!
Tell that to him, it was so hard we broke up. I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering this it's heartbreaking
Not every one has a baggage and when u don’t have one it’s hard to ignore the other person’s baggage
Perfect!
I love this xoxo series
that's powerful
Totally me!! That dude is me!
The worst thing is to keep reminding them of their ex when In a relationship. It's also not good to keep rubbing in your ex or talking about them in a new relationship. A relationship should be built on the new. Past the past and if they bring up their ex its probably because their not over them.
Thank y0u f0r such vide0s❤❤
Well said
New subscriber here🙋
Jay shetty is ❤
Thank u for sharing ur knowledge about life thank u for the good words u shared...
God bless u😊
My ex (i loved her) opened up to me about how she slept with teacher when she was 15! She also slept with men older than her (than me). She said that shit so casual, it made me feel literal disgust! We broke up shortly after, but she doesn’t know that i broke up with because of her past
Same lol mines slept with guys way older than her when she was around 14 - 15
Thank god for no ads
So true 👌
Thank you jay
No mention monee
And thats why you never share your past with ANYONE!
Past matters to me!!!!
Same...but ugh
Me too! But I’ve been made to feel bad about that by my BF. Of course he doesn’t want to talk about it.. It’s deplorable in my eyes..🙁
Thank you so much for your videos please keep doing
😂😂😂 How sarcastic!
This just piece of cake.. What about when you can not get over past with ex who is married, with kids and already cold dead for years Jay?!
Jay u r great...
U my mentor mr Jay
After watching your videos I having smile on my face and fresh full mind....thank you jay sir.. you are really amazing
Fool!
People with pasts should commit with each other if they need love
If you chose or accept the people without past
You're simply a second hand to them😜
only few gonna accept & love you
In most of the cases if you have past & your partner doesn't, they will treat you like a used ones & always feel like you don't belong to them
And surely they insult you by saying something about your past
Human emotions are designed that way
For eg. most prefer new car than a used one (no matter how good condition they are because most don't like second hand)
stay a brand new car with good engine (Heart) & no malfunction(Heart breaks) & right owner will find you, take care of you & love you to the core than used ones 😂
If you have a past find a used ones like you, they know your feeling, will accept each other
Sorry for comparing priceless human hearts with cars but that's a fact
Just know this brand new or used ones love always blooms in everyone's heart ❤️
Facts
based
I would never treat them bad or insult them but I probably would never be able to get over it. Not out of disgust, I just want to bet someone’s first love if I finally meet someone. I really like this one girl but now I can’t even mastorbate anymore bc it makes me think of her past relationships. I feel like I can never be as special to her and that she can never truelly be mine
Love your analogy. It matters cause it dictates the future with women.
@@jasemayfield6853 This is funny and sad. I'm facing this bro, it's fucking hard when we men are the pure ones.
Best of yours 💎
History repeats it self !
love you jay
Beautiful
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Now someone’s gonna see this video and doubt on me ! 😂 always she finds something bad in his videos and say that i am thinking about her like the characters do in the video !😂😂