@alonsosanchez9223 when you pretty and confident you can be annoying too, theres a difference between confidence and ego btw ego is what makes you annoying
@FoamBanana confidence can make you annoying too, not only ego. And there's a lot of factors that may make you seem annoying, but confidence isn't one of them if you pretty.
Confidence is just feedback loop from the environment which encourages your effort and actions If you grow up ugly you don't have it so you can't get it later in life if you won't get attractive
I completely agree! Other takes feel like a "down with pretty people" or "the world is shallow!" This is more realistic and healthy in my opinion. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself and have confidence
the “aging gracefully celeb=good celeb” thing annoys me even more because a lot of (and i’d honestly say most) of those cases are actually plastic surgery. people think they’re able to immediately spot plastic surgery when really we’re able to immediately see BAD plastic surgery.
the fourth wall break was actually so nice and refreshing. i looked at myself in the mirror then and listened, which usually doesn't work, but it worked wonderfully this one time, maybe it's because it was unexpected or because it sounded so genuine. i don't consider myself bad looking at all, but social media has brainwashed me into believing that i have to look no less than stunning 24/7 to be deserving of a happy life. it's incredibly difficult to shed this mindset by myself, so especially hearing that "what i'm seeing right now is one of the least important things about me" was very cleansing. thank you :]
too many pretty people online is wild cause it basically exposes people to the HOllywood/Moddel industry problem. Lets say it in an example for women but it definitely still applies for men. Alot of people who get into Acting and Modelling are very beautiful people, women especially. And a lot of them probably grew up with the idea "I'm one of the prettiest people at my school/housing area". And then you get put in a room with 20 people coming from the exact same scenario. Who's the Ugly one(s)?
i guess thats why attractive people are often so insecure. If you work in a field where looks are almost all that matters, you will compare yourself to your equals in that field, because your livelyhood depends on it. Same with skills. You move yourself into a bubble that makes use of skills, but suddenly everyone around you has that skill too so your perception completely changes
As someone with pretty low self confidence this video really spoke to me. Something about the mix of "you need to avoid feeling insecure about how you look" mixed with "there's legitimate steps you CAN take to improve your appearance and quality of life" just made sense.
Yeah but that unrealistic unreachable standard has become what is considered pretty so if anyone strays from that (which we all do except maybe the 0.5% of the world) they are no longer considered pretty.
I’ve dealt with body dysmorphia and other stuff that affects my self image for a long time, I swing from feeling sexy af and ugly af lmao but I’ve gotten to a point where I’m happy with who I am and take reasonable action to keep myself looking my best, this video is amazing and I wish I had something like this sooner ahaha
I've also said this is one of the experiential differences between men's and women's lives. People don't care about you as a man, so you're on your own, while people care immensely about you as a woman, so you can't be left alone.
Around 12:20 mark, I think the “ ugly privilege” applies more to women friendships but they have superficial backings to it. i.e. the DUFF stereotype, in order to make the other woman look more attractive. You are right, a lot of it is based on your confidence and how secure you are. As I lost weight, I actually became more insecure and got hospitalized for an eating disorder and I argued exactly what you are to my therapists and doctors for my mindset towards food/ my body and they all just wrote me off and countered it with “ body positivity “. Thanks for validating this point, but it is very saddening to hear people agree with me.
You became insecure because you felt you had a standard to fall off of. At least that's my assumption based off of this small paragraph, so dismiss it as you will. The main thing is, you don't need to have that standard, the standard is health, as long as your weight doesn't conflict with your health, you can have a bit of weight, you know. Sometimes following beauty standards like that can be good for you, make you feel better, but for some people, presumably you included, following them just makes those standards push harder on you. It's about self-love, and sometimes, it takes more than losing weight to love yourself.
Especially women's. I got like one match per week. Recently all my matches unmatched me after my message (hello, let's go out!, and similar so normal messages). I gave up.
the 60s were all about anorexia, miniskirts, strapping down your boobs to look flatter, heavy makeup and hair styles that were half hairspray, half hair. but you're right. it's way worse now... sigh.
Not sure how you ended up on my home page but you earned on Life Long subscriber. I can’t wait to see how you’ll use your creativity to profound our thinking.
The action of taking care of myself, like washing my face and doing my hair, makes me physically feel much better. Hygiene makes me feel so much more refreshed
That graph metaphor is so true 😭 like even personally, I used to think I looked good or was at my peak. Then I started physically changing, I was online more and got exposed to “global pretty”. Now looking back at the same pictures, I look so mid 💀 and it’s like I can’t trust myself anymore bc my opinion of looking good always changes
Isn't ugliness/averages superior to beauty, because it lasts longer. A quote from a French dude who is considered pretty ugly, Serge Gainsbourg. When you can't rely on your vanity and beauty, you have to develop charisma, or tenderness or much more nuanced emotional & social intelligence. Great video, bello ✨
@@canadianturtle7240yeah u right and this is coming from an ugly guy, yeah l can be pretty with a skin routine and some exercise but it all needs money like make-up... AHH nah l prefer being rich and obvious, not watching looser videos😢
When I was growing up, I was percieved as "the ugly sister", being called ugly to my face, mocked for how I looked, etc. The change that hormonal transition has given me made me gain more attention for my looks than I've ever had in my entire life. At times, in a weird, objectifying manner. I have had strangers make me uncomfortable, people betray me as a friend because they were just objectifying/fetishizing me, etc. It has completely changed my perception of beauty, being beautiful, etc. I also recall growing up ugly duckling. I was the funny friend. I had a good amount of beautiful pals tell me they envied me. I was perplexed. When I asked why, they would say things like "Because people take you seriously", "people actually like you for you, not how you look", "people don't talk to you just because they want to have sex w you". I know understand what they meant. It is very shocking. It feels very uncomfortable.
@@chaosi1753 Thank you for understanding! Have a nice day. Growing up percieved ugly, I never imagined there'd be a downside to being seen as beautiful
@@spacedoutsprout There are a lot and as a person that perceived attractive, what he said at around 13 to 14 min mark were the key point that we should noticed. I was not confident with myself due to unstable living both family and social, that made my life even harder to understand and develop. I’m fortunately recognizing those negative traits I practiced unconsciously and trying to shift my perspective in healthy way. People have to be at least kind and actually listen because what we perceived aren’t always true.
I really like how you use the talking-to-the-camera video style in a way that is interesting and meta, from your floor screen to actually utilising the parasocial connection to make a point (such as the last video I watched where you insulted my outfit lmao) to using the black screen to make us look at our reflection. It's some good stuff! I love when people utilise the unique aspects of their medium to great effect 💖
i have soooo many thoughts on beauty/ugliness and i want to respond to everything u said in this video but then id need to write like 10 comments lol. the bit at the end about confidence + the black screen was perfect. u can be uglier than roadkill covered in tar but accepting who u are and moving thru the world with ur chest puffed and chin up will attract people! its obvious human beings love pretty things but i think (at the risk of sounding like a pessimistic old geezer) social media has turned a natural love of beauty into an ADDICTION to beauty. theres too many people getting literal surgery to look like an instagram filter or something, and too many young people obsessing over how attractive they are because they’ve been led to believe their value is only in their beauty. we will never stop loving beauty, but i do wish we could stop obsessing over it and make room for ugliness. we need to remind ourselves that being a human is beautiful, but its also really fucking ugly and gross, and we have so much space to highlight the pretty and the ugly. i want an ugly renaissance!
Lol yeah people in general people are just pretty ugly creatures when you think about it, i think about that every time i look in the mirror, it just makes it feel less important to be pretty
This video was a refreshing take on the whole pretty-privelege conversation, and I agree with pretty much everything you said. Really glad this video was recommended to me! I hope your channel receives the viewership and love it deserves, because I think you deserve way more. Keep up the good work.
I think a thing that adds to confidence once u start taking better care of yourself is the feeling of competence and of self sufficiency, knowing that you can make things happen even slightly just for yourself makes you feel more capable and self assured which I think is a feeling and quality that isn’t brought up enough but really changes how you handle things and carry yourself in the day to day
It’s a double-edged sword. You see how certain opportunities are presented, a level of attention is found, some exceptions are made, and the generosity of strangers can be more obvious. In the same breath, you can see how fleeting these things are, how inappropriate and uncomfortable they can be, but also how duplicitous people can be. Looks and propositions from married men with children, flirtatious advances from friend’s partners, seeing how the pursuit of interaction comes from people you thought were showed genuine interest, but ultimately had ulterior motives. It’s disheartening. You might get praised, but by people you’ll never see again, or who will follow you on socials only to lurk. No real connections, and your “friends” don’t want you around because their boyfriends flirt with you. It can be isolating, feeling like although you’re known, you’re still a stranger to all these people. When you do find people who are more emotionally available, willing to cultivate a connection, and delve deeper into your inner machinations - it means so much, because it can be rare to find when the perception of you is through a superficial lens. It’s interesting to analyze, for sure.
I gained weight recently, and I noticed a tangible shift in the way people treat me. There are many reasons for me to lose weight and treat my body better, but social ick shouldn't be one of them :(
.. why don’t we question the need for beauty standards to determine how we treat people instead of guilt tripping people for “not taking care of themselves” enough to be “pretty”
Why can’t we tell people who don’t take care of themselves that they make themselves ugly, if they are so concerned about how other perceive them? If you are concerned, take care of your body/hygiene/sleep. If you don’t, then you can’t be upset, but you will be. So you have only one choice, but you can’t do it. The only excuse one can have in this situation is something like depression. But not everyone is depressed. It’s self inflicted misery.
I was never thin, like ever, and still am not even though I eat healthy and exercise regularly, but one thing that's really boosted my confidence is dressing better. I used to not dress well because I didn't think I looked like I deserved to and I had this fear that it would just look weird on me, but then I did it and realized its really fun! I love dressing up in elaborate outfits to hang out with my friends, each time i do it it feels a little more like I'm taking back the way I see myself and that I can look good just the way I am if i have a little fun with it
As someone who spent a good chunk of my life as a big boy, it really is like 90% confidence and being comfortable with yourself, and nice outfits can certainly help with that. Love yourself first, and others will follow.
Well I'd argue that's not even true. As someone whose accomplished a lot of what he wanted, that confidence is pretty short term. At the end of the day you're still hinging your confidence on something external and pretty flimsy. In my experience, true confidence is found in recognizing yourself seperate from your achievements, and embodying the values you believe in.
Since i started painting portraits and looking at a lot of faces online i also started paying way more attention to faces in real life. And most of them are beautiful, it's usually aomething aside from the face that makes a person attractive or unattractive.
Yeah sometimes you just cant change things, but it is more about getting rid of the insecurity of it, and i agree that fixes like 60% of the issue. Remember not everyone has to be pretty and its stupid to think that you do
Bro I don't know how you did it but you expressed every thought I have about this topic AND gave fantastic advice to improve self steem without making it feel degrading. 10/10 video would watch it again
I agree with a lot of this, but I don't think it's helpful to tell people to "get a better skincare routine". Most people are trying, it's just not that simple. I spent hundreds on products, and many doctor's prescriptions to no avail. My skin cleared in my early 20's, presumably as my hormones settled. I don't think we should perpetuate the idea that acne is an easily solved failure of hygiene, for many it is not.
Honestly one of the best videos I’ve watched on this topic, everything you said is spot on. I recently shaved my head as a woman and though I don’t love the look on me, it helps me live an easier life in many ways. One pro is that I am exercising more, because having to wash it every time I worked out was too draining. I lose a lot of my hair due to medication and aesthetically it wasn’t a problem bc I still had a full head of hair, but I was absolutely done with having hairs EVERYWHERE. I was still scared as hell to make this decision because honestly it makes me feel less valuable as a human being to not be as conventionally attractive as I could be. It’s an immense improvement in my quality of life/ hygiene, yet it took me a long time to make this decision. It kinda sucks how much we do for beauty when it’s actually impractical and takes a lot of our time and energy away. Because of all this I’ve been thinking a lot about these topics recently and this video helped a lot :)
I don't know how many people share my take on it in particular, but this video has been in my head for a while since I watched it because I found myself simultaneously agreeing with the sentiment and not the semantic implications. Quite often things are referred to as objective here, like the sense that normal people are 'normal' because they have 'flaws', or that beautiful people are oversaturated compared to other eras-- That all presumes that it's *real*. Which, in a phenomenological sense, yes, I think beauty is technically real, as it can effect our treatment of others and ourselves. But as an idea, like the idea that beauty is something that exists outside the mind in the collective consciousness, that there's some kind of platonic eidos at the top of the hierarchy that we become ugly if we differ from it, I just don't think that exists. I don't think that's a real thing. When you showed those pictures of yourself from the past and present, and asked me which one I would rather look at for 15 minutes, I actually paused for a bit trying to see if I even had an opinion. Nothing about either one particularly attracted or repelled me, they were just faces. I'm not trying to claim that I'm different from most people or that I don't have a halo effect thing that I try to remain aware of, but I just don't care because nothing about either image really activates my particular wiring. I am a heterosexual dude so I'm willing to say my brain is probably glossing over things because I don't have a dog in the race, so to speak. But therein lies the thing. Even with people who are attracted to the subject, their beauty is subjective, based on innumerable unpredictable and seemingly random markers that people pick up as they grow and develop. You could ask two of the most basic-ass dudebros, --the kind of guys who you would expect to have nothing out of the ordinary in their individual preferences-- the kind of guys who've been chasing the exact same kind of partner since they were of age to do so, about who the hottest celebrity was. More likely than not, there would be a difference of opinion! Hell, let's say, for the sake of deranged argument, that they both said Megan Foxx in Transformers 1. If you were able to somehow corner these guys alone and get them to wax poetic about *why* that's the case, or what their favorite things were about Megan, if either of them talked long enough, they *would* contradict each other, because each experience of beauty is particular to one person, none of it is set in stone, and even among the profoundly picky, there are a limited number of features each person *really* cares about when trying to size someone up in that department. I think the fact that JFK and his wife look a little weird to us now is because people are a little weird, that's their default state, and comparing the stuff that was beautiful at one point in history is always going to be different. The ideal woman in Heian Japan would be unintelligble to someone living in 1500s Mesoamerica. Paintings of really beautiful people in the italian renaissance look like aliens to us, because the priorities people had in aesthetics were just *different*. The Mona Lisa has got no fuckin eyebrows. The notion that celebrities are more beautiful now than they used to be is a bit like saying, I dunno, that off-brand sodas that purport to be fruit flavored taste better now, when all they really taste like is sugar and carbonation because having a noticeable flavor would limit their appeal. The standards of beauty have never been exactly one thing-- In the early 1800s, celebrities used to be more well-liked for having a kind of unique character to their appearance, but things started to gradually get more homogenized. People got super into shaving their facial hair completely and we haven't elected a bearded president since then. And culturally we all kind of go in cycles of our celebrities looking the same and then differentiating themselves almost every decade-- Or sooner, if we're lucky. In the 60s every older adult was kind of just "supposed" to look like Benny from fallout, that was the fashion, it was very homogeneous. Young people's counterculture really came to challenge this. In the 70s? You see a lot of really unique and weird-looking dudes in mainstream movies and I think they're actually more fascinating to look at than the homogeneity that came before and after. You say that celebrities seem to be getting more like this, but I dunno, all the celebrities I remember are people that I find unique and not even really attractive. People that I can pick out of a crowd, in stark contrast to like the late 90s/early 2000s when young women movie stars were largely indistinguishable to me. Some would suggest that the fact that there are cameras everywhere has really shifted the meta, that because "global pretty" is now being competed for *all over the literal globe*, we have moved closer to some kind of objective, eternal beauty that makes normal more unpalatable, but aside from that being a kind of twitter-nazi talking point because a lot of the beauty rules being unconsciously followed by places all over the world are more than a little white-normative, I think it's very much folly to assume that we're any different, or less fickle in our collective tastes, than they were even 50 years ago. People were liking and glorifying new, weird, and "unnatural" standards ever since the dawn of agriculture when some girl probably figured out you could tug our your leg hairs with sea shells. We are always fluctuating, finding new people who seem to look nice, and changing the model back and forth. The only consistent things about beauty in history are "Don't have a visible disease", "Be clean" and "Dress like you're doing relatively well in life"... And even then there are slight exceptions depending on the zeitgeist-- Women dying of tuberculosis were briefly romanticised as the pale, tragic, willowy, goth gfs of their day. Which is what brings me to the idea of "global pretty". I don't think global pretty is *really* real, except, again, just as some kind of loosely agreed-upon thing. I think the popular image of beauty is undergoing, kind of, the "anime girl" effect. Anime girls are like carefully homogenized, censored versions of real people, with minimized mouths, no nostrils, often completely missing noses and ears, and completely untextured skin. They are, like sugar, a completely un-acquired taste, and the presence of beauty in their form is largely the absence of anything preventing someone from projecting their own ideal features onto that person, to the point where adding unusual or realistic details to their faces makes them look humorous and hideous like those individual spongebob frames that are just graphic paintings. They are blank slates for people to project what they *think* people should look like onto. Anime characters look Japanese to people who are in Japan, they read as white to most people in the US, and Goku is clearly objectively Mexican but not everyone sees that, because what we're seeing is an alien with few real identifying features. The fact that the Kennedies look weird to us isn't because they aren't or weren't pretty for their time, it's the fact that we are accustomed to that kind of inoffensive, flavorless beauty, that most people will say they like not because they specifically like every little thing about it, but because nothing about that person specifically contradicts what they privately think is attractive, and the needs of that person that would be equally or better served by a more idiosyncratic person can be projected onto that person like a mannequin. To be "global pretty" is to possess an absence of strangeness, to be featureless. A tasteless but cloying little nothing, with few bold statements to limit their appeal, who blends into the broad commonalities of what a million disparate individuals think an appealing person looks like. I have always found that type of person to be kind of gross and unappealing to look at for whatever reason, and whenever I see instagram baddies who look exactly "that" way it just feels unhealthy and cringe, like anime girls or IMVU avatars made real. That's kind of why whenever I do compliment somebody on their appearance, I try to be as specific as possible. Partially to make it more meaningful to that person, but also to drive home the fact that my opinion is just my own, as is everyone else's, and this concept we all try to boil down into one word based on how our emotional minds react to someone is the product of a million different factors that change over time and mean different things to different people. Mrs. Kennedy isn't who I personally would consider beautiful because my taste is different, but the most physically unappealing woman in the world to me is Pokimane, and I don't think that's a common opinion. I think that I personally find "global pretty" to be abhorrent personally because it doesn't match what I like, and most people probably find it to be forgettable and interchangeable, except the individual weird stuff that matches their own idiosyncratic feelings about beauty. In the end, the only way to be beautiful in a way that *really* matters, is not to be another Paris Hilton, but to be the only *you*. With any luck, whoever's into that will find you, and if they're wise they'll recognize how rare and special it is to enjoy the company of someone who's just as they like, without compromising themselves for some hivemind image of what should be. If they aren't, it's really their loss. Anyway, I don't know if you or anybody will read this but I had to write it down somewhere to get it all out of my head, or else I'd probably just keep thinking about it all day. Cool video dude, I agree with the overall end conclusion, you have neat angular eyebrows.
The thing I absolutely love about your videos (being a long-time viewer of 30 minutes, just came from your vid on oversharing) is that you're working with what ya got: piece of paper and marker, paint cans to hold down the screen, your apartment looks normal, and your mic is a headphone mic. It feels chill, it feels genuine. Thank you! I really love that. It makes me want to go make those videos I'm scared to make because I don't have any good equipment. Also, you're very grounded and funny! Keep fighting the good fight. ^_^
you made some really great points at the end there about confidence and self-respect being key. for the logic behind why you would want to watch a ted talk on science from someone less attractive, i think that seeing a speaker put a ton of effort into their appearance sends the message that the speaker values prepping their looks as more important than prepping the info theyre talking about. or it makes you question if they actually know things or simply charmed their way into a speaking role. just my 2 cents.
I've never been fat but I have been skinnyfat and now I worked out I have abs, look at myself in the mirror and feel the same way you felt when you got thinner. It didn't make me seem more confidence until I fixed my posture though. Great video.
this is one of the most balanced youtube videos i've seen in a long time. personality, theory, anecdote, affirmation, but truth. lemme go head and binge your content. i'm glad youtube fed me this in the algorithm
This is truly the most underrated channel i have ever seen, this content is so top-quality to me i don't know why, he's just so chill and isn't in your face like other youtubers keep working man. you'll blow up one day, I know it
Your description of going through a weight loss journey is just like what it's like to be at the other side of a transition, I used to hate mirrors, now I actually like how I look and am happy when I see myself.
U so correct I lost like 60 kg in like a year Mayb a little bit longer but I’m still trying to come to terms with my weight loss I feel like I’m looking in the mirror to much
I really enjoyed this video. I just recently suffered from a break in aleopecia and my girlfriend broke up with me so confidence has been rock bottom. Feels better to have a joe like me telling me this instead of America’s next top model trying to tell me to just “be yourself”
man, i also dealt with alopecia a lot. was very rough. i promise you, the girl that you want, need, and will one day find will be someone who will love you despite of and because of your alopecia and all other insecurities you may or may not have. i believe in you
I have never stumbled upon a video where I felt this understood. The entire thing was just a masterpiece. Thank you for making this and please keep doing what you’re doing
i felt ugly my entire life i never even once felt pretty when someone likes me i ask myself how can someone be attracted to this it's really hard for me in my everyday life and i m tired... once i asked my father if i can get a nose job he said yes cause i ll have a pretty little nose after that i cried so hard that day
I've lived long enough as a below average looking person to actively avoid extremely beautiful people (which is a probelmatic bias in as of itself). Also helps that I'm ace
I like this video a lot, but I disagree with what you said about confidence. Confidence without basis (in regards to appearance) is called delusion, and is treated accordingly by other people. Without the necessary changes in appearance, people won't change how they treat you much. In fact, it tends to be a source of irritation in certain contexts, rather than something to respect. You will forever be fighting an uphill battle with your psyche, because you will constantly be telling yourself one thing-- that you are worthy of love and respect, while society is telling you the opposite -- that you are not. The best example of this would be, of course, dating. No amount of confidence can change someones raw, physical attraction to you. Confidence only makes people that already like you, like you more.
My intention isn't to discourage you in any way. I really enjoyed this video, and think it has great points and a unique perspective. I hope you continue to make great content!
This- “It tends to be a source of irritation in certain contexts, rather than something to respect” was literally how I was bullied/gaslit my whole adolescence. All I did was act sure of myself, and confident in what I was good at but others deemed me too ugly to feel normal lol. If I was getting harassed and retaliated they’d simply go “who the fuck are you, look at you you’re ugly” to deter me from standing up for myself. Basically telling me I’m ugly therefore I deserved to be treated harshly. I’m big and my bullies couldn’t fight so I just started getting violent and giving into what they wanted, pointless conflict. I kicked ass but I literally got ostracized from everyone cause I was then seen as the bully. Narratives literally rule our lives. I still struggle with my anger issues to this day.
I can tel you this from my personal experience he is right I have a friend that isn’t that good looking average looking dude but he gets gfs because he has the I don’t give a fuck vibe he confident and doesn’t care what other people think and very positive person there’s things that go with attraction looks yes but if you have a personality that makes you attractive I have watch 2 other videos both were girls that literally said they grew up ugly even show pics and what they did to get others attracted was having a personality if your ugly you need somthing going for you
The notion of other people starting to treat you better is so true. I’m actually experiencing that right now and it’s so weird. I’m like what made you change.
Honestly, most people aren’t ugly, just average and that’s okay! Most ‘ugly’ people are people who haven’t put any effort into taking care of themselves (which definitely shows) and have adopted a perpetual “woe is me” attitude rather than any form of self-improvement be it emotionally, mentally, or physically. Insecurity REEKS of a person and plays a bigger role than appearance alone.
I agree. I tend to be myself more around "average looking "men than very handsome ones. Also, look how some people demonized Bridget Fonda when recent pictures of her were leaked versus her "then and now" weight. Maybe she's happy now. She claims to be anyway. When I lived in Los Angeles back in the 80's I lost about twenty five pounds. One girl couldn't stop praising me and basically put me on a pedestal and treated me better than she had in the past. I got down to a size 2, and became anorexic 😢 So yes, love yourself ❤. But do it for YOU, not for others...
i have been seriously feeling very shit about myself for the past couple of days and this is perfect. yt algo recommended this to me when i needed it the most. :')
I am 60lbs overweight and that used to make me really sad. But I genuinely don’t care anymore. As long as I fit in my pants, I’m good. I still want to lose weight but for myself this time. Not just for my esthetics!
I find it very disheartening when people talk about a glowup theyve had and how much they dislike their older self and the before picture is a LITERAL CHILD. We are comparing an adult with a bank account to a kid. Children dont have to be attractive no matter how much tiktok makes them think otherwise. This is not a jab at you in particular, but I see this 'glow up' thing too often - its called a "grow up" broskies
this video was great. i have some tips for people in the comments who might be looking for where to start with taking care of themselves. 1. you can manage your weight and still eat the food you like. you dont have to live on chicken, broccoli and rice to feel healthy. do some research on calorie deficit and intermittent fasting. you need to give your body a chance to process what you eat and reset your blood sugar levels. 2. you can eliminate most acne by washing your face at least once a day and changing your sheets once a week and pillowcase every time you shower. buy lots of pillowcases. buy a new pillow once a year OR get an antibacterial cover to put on under the pillowcase. if youre like me and cant use most skin cleansers because your skin is too sensitive, baby wipes are a life saver. these are just a couple things that have worked for me. take them with a grain of salt. but dont be afraid to try.
I agree with you on almost everything, but lets rather say that for acne, you should maybe start visiting a dermatologist, because acne is obv different for everybody.... I for example have less pimples and more hyperpigmentation problems that you cant get simply rid of with a pillowcase :')
@crystallizinghumanity4773 figuring out the cause of acne is so important!! I used every type of facewash and pillowcase out there and none of it helped because my acne was hormonal, not bacterial.
Bro! I aint trying to just blow smoke up your ass but you won me over with in the first 30 seconds of the video! I have to be up at 6am I need to be sleeping rn, but imma finish your video because you are very well spoken and hilarious and have very interesting ideas! Keep doing what your doing brother!!
1:50 YES. as a trans person, i now suddenly like how i look bc its so drastically different from before and it allows me to be more objective bc the realization that this is actually me hasnt set in yet. i often feel bad about this feeling bc it feels like maybe its proof that im not really trans and just like girls or something, so its good to know that ppl whove lost weight feel similar
“It’s not about how bad you look it’s about how INSECURE of how bad you look.” AMEN sometimes confidence is legit the most appealing trait for anyone.
When you ugyl and confident you annoying
@alonsosanchez9223 when you pretty and confident you can be annoying too, theres a difference between confidence and ego btw ego is what makes you annoying
@FoamBanana confidence can make you annoying too, not only ego. And there's a lot of factors that may make you seem annoying, but confidence isn't one of them if you pretty.
Your looks are your confidence. Notice he didn't get confidence until he saw improvement in his looks.
Confidence is just feedback loop from the environment which encourages your effort and actions If you grow up ugly you don't have it so you can't get it later in life if you won't get attractive
“even the normal looking people online are a lot more beautiful looking than i would like them to be” 💀 you ate w this one i fear
Hey, my favourite RUclipsr 😁
“he also deserved a skin care routine” 😂❤
Of any kind 🤣🤣
Of ANY kind 😭😭
Psalm 23:4❤
His skin lowkey loook good now
this is such a healthy take on this topic
@@meryllejoyercilla5387 yes🌹
I completely agree! Other takes feel like a "down with pretty people" or "the world is shallow!" This is more realistic and healthy in my opinion. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself and have confidence
you don't know how much i love the floor green screen
It’s so strange it’s great
I subscribed after seeing this
I love your pfp
your pfp 😂
honestly really creative idea
the “aging gracefully celeb=good celeb” thing annoys me even more because a lot of (and i’d honestly say most) of those cases are actually plastic surgery. people think they’re able to immediately spot plastic surgery when really we’re able to immediately see BAD plastic surgery.
Jokes on them I get to age gracefully for free cause the ugly tree didnt collapse into my families gene pool
Yeah, why are we going around saying "this is how you age when you're unproblematic" as if there aren't bad hot people and good ugly people?
Plastic surgery is like CGI in animations/movies. If you can't tell it's fake, then it's perfect 😂🤣
the fourth wall break was actually so nice and refreshing. i looked at myself in the mirror then and listened, which usually doesn't work, but it worked wonderfully this one time, maybe it's because it was unexpected or because it sounded so genuine. i don't consider myself bad looking at all, but social media has brainwashed me into believing that i have to look no less than stunning 24/7 to be deserving of a happy life. it's incredibly difficult to shed this mindset by myself, so especially hearing that "what i'm seeing right now is one of the least important things about me" was very cleansing. thank you :]
This is what I’ve been saying to contents that I watched talking about looks.
i saw a black blob
this is objectively the greatest video essay i have ever consumed in my entire life. and i have seen quite a few.
right? the editing and delivery is on par with bigger channels.
Im glad yt recommended it
Yes!❤
reach
See that’s just internal bias because he’s so hot.
@@tristanandersen3974😂😂😂😂. U definitely learned one or two things from the video essay
I FUCKING LOVED THE STORYTELLING AND THE EDITING STYLE OF THE VIDEO
this brother is very charismatic
Not even close
Autism be contagious
@@mynameisjayne4755lol
@@mynameisjayne4755What? Must've been the wind..
too many pretty people online is wild cause it basically exposes people to the HOllywood/Moddel industry problem. Lets say it in an example for women but it definitely still applies for men. Alot of people who get into Acting and Modelling are very beautiful people, women especially. And a lot of them probably grew up with the idea "I'm one of the prettiest people at my school/housing area". And then you get put in a room with 20 people coming from the exact same scenario. Who's the Ugly one(s)?
i guess thats why attractive people are often so insecure. If you work in a field where looks are almost all that matters, you will compare yourself to your equals in that field, because your livelyhood depends on it. Same with skills. You move yourself into a bubble that makes use of skills, but suddenly everyone around you has that skill too so your perception completely changes
We are getting rid of mental burndens and insecurities with this one 🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️
As someone with pretty low self confidence this video really spoke to me. Something about the mix of "you need to avoid feeling insecure about how you look" mixed with "there's legitimate steps you CAN take to improve your appearance and quality of life" just made sense.
there's not a better feeling online than finding high quality content from a smaller creator
Just chiming in that most beauty online is set up, photoshop and filters, which don't apply in real life in real time.
Life is almost entirely online now
Yeah but that unrealistic unreachable standard has become what is considered pretty so if anyone strays from that (which we all do except maybe the 0.5% of the world) they are no longer considered pretty.
big cope
i agree with what you're saying but you have to be somewhat beautiful for filters to enhance said beauty anyway.
@@pslmountainwhy are y’all under everyone’s comment, writing the same thing?
I’ve dealt with body dysmorphia and other stuff that affects my self image for a long time, I swing from feeling sexy af and ugly af lmao but I’ve gotten to a point where I’m happy with who I am and take reasonable action to keep myself looking my best, this video is amazing and I wish I had something like this sooner ahaha
The problem with being ugly is that everyone ignores you. That problem with being attractive is that everyone pays attention to you.
great comment
Doesn't work if you're ugly enough, then ppl don't stop looking at you.
I've also said this is one of the experiential differences between men's and women's lives. People don't care about you as a man, so you're on your own, while people care immensely about you as a woman, so you can't be left alone.
@@blackcrow4446lol
That’s why it’s such a fucking W to be average looking lmao
The yt algorithm is crazy for making this channel not have enough views
it's getting there
Yes it is
Around 12:20 mark, I think the “ ugly privilege” applies more to women friendships but they have superficial backings to it. i.e. the DUFF stereotype, in order to make the other woman look more attractive.
You are right, a lot of it is based on your confidence and how secure you are. As I lost weight, I actually became more insecure and got hospitalized for an eating disorder and I argued exactly what you are to my therapists and doctors for my mindset towards food/ my body and they all just wrote me off and countered it with “ body positivity “. Thanks for validating this point, but it is very saddening to hear people agree with me.
You became insecure because you felt you had a standard to fall off of. At least that's my assumption based off of this small paragraph, so dismiss it as you will. The main thing is, you don't need to have that standard, the standard is health, as long as your weight doesn't conflict with your health, you can have a bit of weight, you know. Sometimes following beauty standards like that can be good for you, make you feel better, but for some people, presumably you included, following them just makes those standards push harder on you. It's about self-love, and sometimes, it takes more than losing weight to love yourself.
@@oldmansamsay1023 jesus. read the room, old man.
@@goldensloth7 Elaborate, if you think I'm being hostile, I'm not, I'm being affirmative, although admittedly in a heavy handed way, which is my bad.
@@oldmansamsay1023 Wow I'm surprised you are self aware about how narrow information you can gather about the person from a comment. That is rare
I dont want "ugly privilege" anymore.
There's privilege?
Give it to me then I could do with some
@@A---BMaitriSarkarapparently bcuz being ugly makes you more approachable and less intimidating socially.
i wish you talked about the part pretty people that were ugly most their life being socialized differently
im so glad im not the only onr who has thought about this i will save this video for my next deep talks
bro responded to himself
@@salomegp3530u schizophrenic or something?
🤣🤣🤣but nah fr this was my experience. would love to see a vid on this
bro forgot to switch to his side account before replying
04:44 this is so true. Our Beauty standards are way more extreme than the 60s and before then. I definitely agree
Especially women's. I got like one match per week. Recently all my matches unmatched me after my message (hello, let's go out!, and similar so normal messages). I gave up.
the 60s were all about anorexia, miniskirts, strapping down your boobs to look flatter, heavy makeup and hair styles that were half hairspray, half hair. but you're right. it's way worse now... sigh.
@@goldensloth7The average morning routine of trans
Not sure how you ended up on my home page but you earned on Life Long subscriber. I can’t wait to see how you’ll use your creativity to profound our thinking.
The action of taking care of myself, like washing my face and doing my hair, makes me physically feel much better. Hygiene makes me feel so much more refreshed
That graph metaphor is so true 😭 like even personally, I used to think I looked good or was at my peak. Then I started physically changing, I was online more and got exposed to “global pretty”. Now looking back at the same pictures, I look so mid 💀 and it’s like I can’t trust myself anymore bc my opinion of looking good always changes
Isn't ugliness/averages superior to beauty, because it lasts longer. A quote from a French dude who is considered pretty ugly, Serge Gainsbourg. When you can't rely on your vanity and beauty, you have to develop charisma, or tenderness or much more nuanced emotional & social intelligence. Great video, bello ✨
Cope 😂
Just looked him up...why is he considered "pretty ugly"? 😭
Not true. usually, attractive people can maintain their attractiveness longer than those who never had it in the first place.
Well uh. Im autistic, so.
@@canadianturtle7240yeah u right and this is coming from an ugly guy, yeah l can be pretty with a skin routine and some exercise but it all needs money like make-up... AHH nah l prefer being rich and obvious, not watching looser videos😢
When I was growing up, I was percieved as "the ugly sister", being called ugly to my face, mocked for how I looked, etc. The change that hormonal transition has given me made me gain more attention for my looks than I've ever had in my entire life. At times, in a weird, objectifying manner. I have had strangers make me uncomfortable, people betray me as a friend because they were just objectifying/fetishizing me, etc. It has completely changed my perception of beauty, being beautiful, etc. I also recall growing up ugly duckling. I was the funny friend. I had a good amount of beautiful pals tell me they envied me. I was perplexed. When I asked why, they would say things like "Because people take you seriously", "people actually like you for you, not how you look", "people don't talk to you just because they want to have sex w you". I know understand what they meant. It is very shocking. It feels very uncomfortable.
Frr. Some days I think about going back to being ugly bc if people talked to me, it was bc they saw me for who I was
@@Amberxxbbunni I can understand that feeling. Its v conflucting. I hope you found people that embrace you in the form you are most comfortable with.
Huh.. I guess I never thought of it that way. Thank you for your insight and have a good day❤
@@chaosi1753 Thank you for understanding! Have a nice day. Growing up percieved ugly, I never imagined there'd be a downside to being seen as beautiful
@@spacedoutsprout
There are a lot and as a person that perceived attractive, what he said at around 13 to 14 min mark were the key point that we should noticed. I was not confident with myself due to unstable living both family and social, that made my life even harder to understand and develop. I’m fortunately recognizing those negative traits I practiced unconsciously and trying to shift my perspective in healthy way. People have to be at least kind and actually listen because what we perceived aren’t always true.
You personality is genuinely so incredible. I loved this video
I really like how you use the talking-to-the-camera video style in a way that is interesting and meta, from your floor screen to actually utilising the parasocial connection to make a point (such as the last video I watched where you insulted my outfit lmao) to using the black screen to make us look at our reflection. It's some good stuff! I love when people utilise the unique aspects of their medium to great effect 💖
Dude how does this not even have 2k views? This was such a good video essay, keep up the good work!
30k 😂❤
117k
i have soooo many thoughts on beauty/ugliness and i want to respond to everything u said in this video but then id need to write like 10 comments lol. the bit at the end about confidence + the black screen was perfect. u can be uglier than roadkill covered in tar but accepting who u are and moving thru the world with ur chest puffed and chin up will attract people!
its obvious human beings love pretty things but i think (at the risk of sounding like a pessimistic old geezer) social media has turned a natural love of beauty into an ADDICTION to beauty. theres too many people getting literal surgery to look like an instagram filter or something, and too many young people obsessing over how attractive they are because they’ve been led to believe their value is only in their beauty.
we will never stop loving beauty, but i do wish we could stop obsessing over it and make room for ugliness. we need to remind ourselves that being a human is beautiful, but its also really fucking ugly and gross, and we have so much space to highlight the pretty and the ugly. i want an ugly renaissance!
Lol yeah people in general people are just pretty ugly creatures when you think about it, i think about that every time i look in the mirror, it just makes it feel less important to be pretty
I have nothing to add just wanted to say that I love your comment :)
You definitely need more likes!
You’re hot for this comment
This video was a refreshing take on the whole pretty-privelege conversation, and I agree with pretty much everything you said.
Really glad this video was recommended to me! I hope your channel receives the viewership and love it deserves, because I think you deserve way more. Keep up the good work.
I think a thing that adds to confidence once u start taking better care of yourself is the feeling of competence and of self sufficiency, knowing that you can make things happen even slightly just for yourself makes you feel more capable and self assured which I think is a feeling and quality that isn’t brought up enough but really changes how you handle things and carry yourself in the day to day
It’s a double-edged sword. You see how certain opportunities are presented, a level of attention is found, some exceptions are made, and the generosity of strangers can be more obvious. In the same breath, you can see how fleeting these things are, how inappropriate and uncomfortable they can be, but also how duplicitous people can be. Looks and propositions from married men with children, flirtatious advances from friend’s partners, seeing how the pursuit of interaction comes from people you thought were showed genuine interest, but ultimately had ulterior motives. It’s disheartening. You might get praised, but by people you’ll never see again, or who will follow you on socials only to lurk. No real connections, and your “friends” don’t want you around because their boyfriends flirt with you. It can be isolating, feeling like although you’re known, you’re still a stranger to all these people. When you do find people who are more emotionally available, willing to cultivate a connection, and delve deeper into your inner machinations - it means so much, because it can be rare to find when the perception of you is through a superficial lens. It’s interesting to analyze, for sure.
I gained weight recently, and I noticed a tangible shift in the way people treat me. There are many reasons for me to lose weight and treat my body better, but social ick shouldn't be one of them :(
your energy is amazing, you're gonna blow up soon I can feel it
This video is so real and it's so refreshing to hear someone being so open and authentic about it. Former "ugly" people know 🌱
Crazy how I clicked on this video by accident but after watching it fully, its exactly what I needed.
.. why don’t we question the need for beauty standards to determine how we treat people instead of guilt tripping people for “not taking care of themselves” enough to be “pretty”
Wow! That is such a bad take! Matthew what do you even mean? Are your ears glued shut or something?
@@matthewbenedict5923 Like, he's right, you can just not put that much stock on those things, a lot of it is learned.
Why can’t we tell people who don’t take care of themselves that they make themselves ugly, if they are so concerned about how other perceive them?
If you are concerned, take care of your body/hygiene/sleep. If you don’t, then you can’t be upset, but you will be. So you have only one choice, but you can’t do it.
The only excuse one can have in this situation is something like depression. But not everyone is depressed. It’s self inflicted misery.
@@JupaBy WHY would they be upset anyway if they don’t care?
Obesity is not healthy.
Damn this editing was really good, got some like Answer In Progress vibes from this; really engaging.
Omg yes answer in progress!! I knew this kind of video seemed familiar and now I realized it's bc his cadence and editing is like Sabrina's style
I was never thin, like ever, and still am not even though I eat healthy and exercise regularly, but one thing that's really boosted my confidence is dressing better. I used to not dress well because I didn't think I looked like I deserved to and I had this fear that it would just look weird on me, but then I did it and realized its really fun! I love dressing up in elaborate outfits to hang out with my friends, each time i do it it feels a little more like I'm taking back the way I see myself and that I can look good just the way I am if i have a little fun with it
As someone who spent a good chunk of my life as a big boy, it really is like 90% confidence and being comfortable with yourself, and nice outfits can certainly help with that. Love yourself first, and others will follow.
love the energy, the humor, the topics, the effort, glad i found your channel!
I loved this! Imho had the perfect balance of truth, self-compassion, and humour.
I especially liked the 0% science yet 100% fucking accuracy.
Also, being pretty only adds fake, temporary confidence. Real, stable confidence is built upon real achievments.
Legit
That's the thing I want....
Well I'd argue that's not even true. As someone whose accomplished a lot of what he wanted, that confidence is pretty short term. At the end of the day you're still hinging your confidence on something external and pretty flimsy.
In my experience, true confidence is found in recognizing yourself seperate from your achievements, and embodying the values you believe in.
Yeah... nobody talks about THAT.
@@saarimtashfeen6417 Realest shit i've heard all week
I loved the 4th wall pep talk where you blacked out the screen. Felt nice❤
Since i started painting portraits and looking at a lot of faces online i also started paying way more attention to faces in real life. And most of them are beautiful, it's usually aomething aside from the face that makes a person attractive or unattractive.
I feel like you missed an important topic.
Unnatractive facial features that can only be changed with surgery.
Preach !
Yeah sometimes you just cant change things, but it is more about getting rid of the insecurity of it, and i agree that fixes like 60% of the issue. Remember not everyone has to be pretty and its stupid to think that you do
Or weightloss, a haircut, skincare etc
@@FoamBananacope harder
@@sp-cn8pm Facial FEATURES, none of these things change FEATURES.
I nearly about cried at the end when the lights shut off and David initiated that whole self evaluation segment... gah damn that got deep.
I just started watching the video. It's already so good. I hope there will be way more other people to see it
unironically as i grew up i had a glow down 😭 im not ugly, but i look literally average
Glow down tribe 😎
Define ugly
@A---BMaitriSarkar not looking conventionally attractive is what ugly is. if you arent a society's definition of good looking then you are ugly.
Bro I don't know how you did it but you expressed every thought I have about this topic AND gave fantastic advice to improve self steem without making it feel degrading.
10/10 video would watch it again
I agree with a lot of this, but I don't think it's helpful to tell people to "get a better skincare routine". Most people are trying, it's just not that simple. I spent hundreds on products, and many doctor's prescriptions to no avail. My skin cleared in my early 20's, presumably as my hormones settled. I don't think we should perpetuate the idea that acne is an easily solved failure of hygiene, for many it is not.
💯💯💯💯💯💯
It’d have been good if he clarified that one point wasn’t about acne, mmhmm
no skin care routine ever helped for my acne haha, I had to get a tetracycline to get rid of it for good
Not to mention if you do get rid acne there’s a high chance of having acne scars, aka me. Its practically impossible to get rid of thme
Honestly one of the best videos I’ve watched on this topic, everything you said is spot on.
I recently shaved my head as a woman and though I don’t love the look on me, it helps me live an easier life in many ways. One pro is that I am exercising more, because having to wash it every time I worked out was too draining. I lose a lot of my hair due to medication and aesthetically it wasn’t a problem bc I still had a full head of hair, but I was absolutely done with having hairs EVERYWHERE. I was still scared as hell to make this decision because honestly it makes me feel less valuable as a human being to not be as conventionally attractive as I could be. It’s an immense improvement in my quality of life/ hygiene, yet it took me a long time to make this decision. It kinda sucks how much we do for beauty when it’s actually impractical and takes a lot of our time and energy away.
Because of all this I’ve been thinking a lot about these topics recently and this video helped a lot :)
I don't know how many people share my take on it in particular, but this video has been in my head for a while since I watched it because I found myself simultaneously agreeing with the sentiment and not the semantic implications. Quite often things are referred to as objective here, like the sense that normal people are 'normal' because they have 'flaws', or that beautiful people are oversaturated compared to other eras-- That all presumes that it's *real*. Which, in a phenomenological sense, yes, I think beauty is technically real, as it can effect our treatment of others and ourselves. But as an idea, like the idea that beauty is something that exists outside the mind in the collective consciousness, that there's some kind of platonic eidos at the top of the hierarchy that we become ugly if we differ from it, I just don't think that exists. I don't think that's a real thing.
When you showed those pictures of yourself from the past and present, and asked me which one I would rather look at for 15 minutes, I actually paused for a bit trying to see if I even had an opinion. Nothing about either one particularly attracted or repelled me, they were just faces. I'm not trying to claim that I'm different from most people or that I don't have a halo effect thing that I try to remain aware of, but I just don't care because nothing about either image really activates my particular wiring. I am a heterosexual dude so I'm willing to say my brain is probably glossing over things because I don't have a dog in the race, so to speak. But therein lies the thing. Even with people who are attracted to the subject, their beauty is subjective, based on innumerable unpredictable and seemingly random markers that people pick up as they grow and develop. You could ask two of the most basic-ass dudebros, --the kind of guys who you would expect to have nothing out of the ordinary in their individual preferences-- the kind of guys who've been chasing the exact same kind of partner since they were of age to do so, about who the hottest celebrity was. More likely than not, there would be a difference of opinion! Hell, let's say, for the sake of deranged argument, that they both said Megan Foxx in Transformers 1. If you were able to somehow corner these guys alone and get them to wax poetic about *why* that's the case, or what their favorite things were about Megan, if either of them talked long enough, they *would* contradict each other, because each experience of beauty is particular to one person, none of it is set in stone, and even among the profoundly picky, there are a limited number of features each person *really* cares about when trying to size someone up in that department.
I think the fact that JFK and his wife look a little weird to us now is because people are a little weird, that's their default state, and comparing the stuff that was beautiful at one point in history is always going to be different. The ideal woman in Heian Japan would be unintelligble to someone living in 1500s Mesoamerica. Paintings of really beautiful people in the italian renaissance look like aliens to us, because the priorities people had in aesthetics were just *different*. The Mona Lisa has got no fuckin eyebrows. The notion that celebrities are more beautiful now than they used to be is a bit like saying, I dunno, that off-brand sodas that purport to be fruit flavored taste better now, when all they really taste like is sugar and carbonation because having a noticeable flavor would limit their appeal.
The standards of beauty have never been exactly one thing-- In the early 1800s, celebrities used to be more well-liked for having a kind of unique character to their appearance, but things started to gradually get more homogenized. People got super into shaving their facial hair completely and we haven't elected a bearded president since then. And culturally we all kind of go in cycles of our celebrities looking the same and then differentiating themselves almost every decade-- Or sooner, if we're lucky. In the 60s every older adult was kind of just "supposed" to look like Benny from fallout, that was the fashion, it was very homogeneous. Young people's counterculture really came to challenge this. In the 70s? You see a lot of really unique and weird-looking dudes in mainstream movies and I think they're actually more fascinating to look at than the homogeneity that came before and after. You say that celebrities seem to be getting more like this, but I dunno, all the celebrities I remember are people that I find unique and not even really attractive. People that I can pick out of a crowd, in stark contrast to like the late 90s/early 2000s when young women movie stars were largely indistinguishable to me. Some would suggest that the fact that there are cameras everywhere has really shifted the meta, that because "global pretty" is now being competed for *all over the literal globe*, we have moved closer to some kind of objective, eternal beauty that makes normal more unpalatable, but aside from that being a kind of twitter-nazi talking point because a lot of the beauty rules being unconsciously followed by places all over the world are more than a little white-normative, I think it's very much folly to assume that we're any different, or less fickle in our collective tastes, than they were even 50 years ago. People were liking and glorifying new, weird, and "unnatural" standards ever since the dawn of agriculture when some girl probably figured out you could tug our your leg hairs with sea shells. We are always fluctuating, finding new people who seem to look nice, and changing the model back and forth. The only consistent things about beauty in history are "Don't have a visible disease", "Be clean" and "Dress like you're doing relatively well in life"... And even then there are slight exceptions depending on the zeitgeist-- Women dying of tuberculosis were briefly romanticised as the pale, tragic, willowy, goth gfs of their day.
Which is what brings me to the idea of "global pretty". I don't think global pretty is *really* real, except, again, just as some kind of loosely agreed-upon thing. I think the popular image of beauty is undergoing, kind of, the "anime girl" effect. Anime girls are like carefully homogenized, censored versions of real people, with minimized mouths, no nostrils, often completely missing noses and ears, and completely untextured skin. They are, like sugar, a completely un-acquired taste, and the presence of beauty in their form is largely the absence of anything preventing someone from projecting their own ideal features onto that person, to the point where adding unusual or realistic details to their faces makes them look humorous and hideous like those individual spongebob frames that are just graphic paintings. They are blank slates for people to project what they *think* people should look like onto. Anime characters look Japanese to people who are in Japan, they read as white to most people in the US, and Goku is clearly objectively Mexican but not everyone sees that, because what we're seeing is an alien with few real identifying features. The fact that the Kennedies look weird to us isn't because they aren't or weren't pretty for their time, it's the fact that we are accustomed to that kind of inoffensive, flavorless beauty, that most people will say they like not because they specifically like every little thing about it, but because nothing about that person specifically contradicts what they privately think is attractive, and the needs of that person that would be equally or better served by a more idiosyncratic person can be projected onto that person like a mannequin. To be "global pretty" is to possess an absence of strangeness, to be featureless. A tasteless but cloying little nothing, with few bold statements to limit their appeal, who blends into the broad commonalities of what a million disparate individuals think an appealing person looks like. I have always found that type of person to be kind of gross and unappealing to look at for whatever reason, and whenever I see instagram baddies who look exactly "that" way it just feels unhealthy and cringe, like anime girls or IMVU avatars made real.
That's kind of why whenever I do compliment somebody on their appearance, I try to be as specific as possible. Partially to make it more meaningful to that person, but also to drive home the fact that my opinion is just my own, as is everyone else's, and this concept we all try to boil down into one word based on how our emotional minds react to someone is the product of a million different factors that change over time and mean different things to different people. Mrs. Kennedy isn't who I personally would consider beautiful because my taste is different, but the most physically unappealing woman in the world to me is Pokimane, and I don't think that's a common opinion. I think that I personally find "global pretty" to be abhorrent personally because it doesn't match what I like, and most people probably find it to be forgettable and interchangeable, except the individual weird stuff that matches their own idiosyncratic feelings about beauty. In the end, the only way to be beautiful in a way that *really* matters, is not to be another Paris Hilton, but to be the only *you*. With any luck, whoever's into that will find you, and if they're wise they'll recognize how rare and special it is to enjoy the company of someone who's just as they like, without compromising themselves for some hivemind image of what should be. If they aren't, it's really their loss.
Anyway, I don't know if you or anybody will read this but I had to write it down somewhere to get it all out of my head, or else I'd probably just keep thinking about it all day. Cool video dude, I agree with the overall end conclusion, you have neat angular eyebrows.
😂😂 Intersting
send it to a publisher dude
good opinion piece, i like your perspective👍
The thing I absolutely love about your videos (being a long-time viewer of 30 minutes, just came from your vid on oversharing) is that you're working with what ya got: piece of paper and marker, paint cans to hold down the screen, your apartment looks normal, and your mic is a headphone mic. It feels chill, it feels genuine. Thank you! I really love that. It makes me want to go make those videos I'm scared to make because I don't have any good equipment. Also, you're very grounded and funny! Keep fighting the good fight. ^_^
I legit fell in love with this video and the creator. You are genuinely hilarious and very entertaining to watch/listen to😂
The floor cracked me up!
you made some really great points at the end there about confidence and self-respect being key. for the logic behind why you would want to watch a ted talk on science from someone less attractive, i think that seeing a speaker put a ton of effort into their appearance sends the message that the speaker values prepping their looks as more important than prepping the info theyre talking about. or it makes you question if they actually know things or simply charmed their way into a speaking role. just my 2 cents.
I've never been fat but I have been skinnyfat and now I worked out I have abs, look at myself in the mirror and feel the same way you felt when you got thinner. It didn't make me seem more confidence until I fixed my posture though. Great video.
It has been scientifically proven that nearly everyone thinks they are "slightly above average" in terms of everything.
that’s funny to me bc I always feel like I’m either great at smt or I’m slightly below average/terrible at smt there’s no in between for me
this is one of the most balanced youtube videos i've seen in a long time. personality, theory, anecdote, affirmation, but truth. lemme go head and binge your content. i'm glad youtube fed me this in the algorithm
This is truly the most underrated channel i have ever seen, this content is so top-quality to me i don't know why, he's just so chill and isn't in your face like other youtubers keep working man. you'll blow up one day, I know it
Your description of going through a weight loss journey is just like what it's like to be at the other side of a transition, I used to hate mirrors, now I actually like how I look and am happy when I see myself.
U so correct I lost like 60 kg in like a year Mayb a little bit longer but I’m still trying to come to terms with my weight loss I feel like I’m looking in the mirror to much
I really enjoyed this video. I just recently suffered from a break in aleopecia and my girlfriend broke up with me so confidence has been rock bottom. Feels better to have a joe like me telling me this instead of America’s next top model trying to tell me to just “be yourself”
man, i also dealt with alopecia a lot. was very rough. i promise you, the girl that you want, need, and will one day find will be someone who will love you despite of and because of your alopecia and all other insecurities you may or may not have. i believe in you
@@mannyadisa appreciate the response man. Pain feels less so when shared with others. Bless you dude
Not to be rude but the old picture of you inspired me to start a skincare routine, thank you
17:00 that little "did you eat today" cracked me up, how much did my mother pay you huh?
Like I was sitting there making kissy faces at the screen, nodding and then my mother pops up to ask me if I ate
This video is OUTSTANDING!!!!!
I have never stumbled upon a video where I felt this understood. The entire thing was just a masterpiece. Thank you for making this and please keep doing what you’re doing
Man your essays are great
Time to add another RUclipsr to the weekly roster, great video!
I'm reading the picture of Dorian Gray at the moment so this connects to what I've been thinking about, perfect timing.
Love your video style. And that you incorporated math into this
i felt ugly my entire life i never even once felt pretty when someone likes me i ask myself how can someone be attracted to this it's really hard for me in my everyday life and i m tired... once i asked my father if i can get a nose job he said yes cause i ll have a pretty little nose after that i cried so hard that day
Just found this channel and it’s right up my alley
This video is amazingly put together
You're points are valid AND you are handsome as hecc
i love how u move around the camera a lot to different locations. great video😊
This was such a lovely video, very glad it popped up on my feed!
I've lived long enough as a below average looking person to actively avoid extremely beautiful people (which is a probelmatic bias in as of itself). Also helps that I'm ace
As a fellow asexual- I guess being ace can have its perks 😮 (also omg I know you from Instagram ur art is amazing !!!)
I like this video a lot, but I disagree with what you said about confidence. Confidence without basis (in regards to appearance) is called delusion, and is treated accordingly by other people.
Without the necessary changes in appearance, people won't change how they treat you much. In fact, it tends to be a source of irritation in certain contexts, rather than something to respect. You will forever be fighting an uphill battle with your psyche, because you will constantly be telling yourself one thing-- that you are worthy of love and respect, while society is telling you the opposite -- that you are not.
The best example of this would be, of course, dating. No amount of confidence can change someones raw, physical attraction to you. Confidence only makes people that already like you, like you more.
My intention isn't to discourage you in any way. I really enjoyed this video, and think it has great points and a unique perspective. I hope you continue to make great content!
thank you
This- “It tends to be a source of irritation in certain contexts, rather than something to respect” was literally how I was bullied/gaslit my whole adolescence. All I did was act sure of myself, and confident in what I was good at but others deemed me too ugly to feel normal lol. If I was getting harassed and retaliated they’d simply go “who the fuck are you, look at you you’re ugly” to deter me from standing up for myself. Basically telling me I’m ugly therefore I deserved to be treated harshly. I’m big and my bullies couldn’t fight so I just started getting violent and giving into what they wanted, pointless conflict. I kicked ass but I literally got ostracized from everyone cause I was then seen as the bully. Narratives literally rule our lives. I still struggle with my anger issues to this day.
I can tel you this from my personal experience he is right I have a friend that isn’t that good looking average looking dude but he gets gfs because he has the I don’t give a fuck vibe he confident and doesn’t care what other people think and very positive person there’s things that go with attraction looks yes but if you have a personality that makes you attractive I have watch 2 other videos both were girls that literally said they grew up ugly even show pics and what they did to get others attracted was having a personality if your ugly you need somthing going for you
@@randysteele880 sorry bro
5:36 “2024 eyes.” 3 puns in one. 20/20 vision, looking back from 2024, and having 4 eyes (glasses.) nice one.
The notion of other people starting to treat you better is so true. I’m actually experiencing that right now and it’s so weird. I’m like what made you change.
Honestly, most people aren’t ugly, just average and that’s okay! Most ‘ugly’ people are people who haven’t put any effort into taking care of themselves (which definitely shows) and have adopted a perpetual “woe is me” attitude rather than any form of self-improvement be it emotionally, mentally, or physically. Insecurity REEKS of a person and plays a bigger role than appearance alone.
this channel is just the vibes man i love it
I agree. I tend to be myself more around "average looking "men than very handsome ones. Also, look how some people demonized Bridget Fonda when recent pictures of her were leaked versus her "then and now" weight. Maybe she's happy now. She claims to be anyway. When I lived in Los Angeles back in the 80's I lost about twenty five pounds. One girl couldn't stop praising me and basically put me on a pedestal and treated me better than she had in the past. I got down to a size 2, and became anorexic 😢 So yes, love yourself ❤. But do it for YOU, not for others...
I appreciate your BF reference. ✊
@@whynotehBridget Fonda survived a car crash around 2003 and decided to quit acting, marry her boyfriend Danny Elfman, and be a full time mom.
@@whynoteh 💜
I love this editing style and video format so much! Please don’t ever change it to fit the saturated and mainstream style of video out there.
that was the best video essay Ive ever seen tbh :0
i have been seriously feeling very shit about myself for the past couple of days and this is perfect. yt algo recommended this to me when i needed it the most. :')
Same here
I LITERALLY LOVE HOW YOU TALK (OR HOW THE VIDEO WAS SCRIPTED)
10/10 BACKGROUND NOISE
+1 SUBSCRIBER
I love your charisma, you deffo deserve more subs x
I am 60lbs overweight and that used to make me really sad. But I genuinely don’t care anymore. As long as I fit in my pants, I’m good. I still want to lose weight but for myself this time. Not just for my esthetics!
good vid taught me to love my 2021 self! 😭
I find it very disheartening when people talk about a glowup theyve had and how much they dislike their older self and the before picture is a LITERAL CHILD. We are comparing an adult with a bank account to a kid. Children dont have to be attractive no matter how much tiktok makes them think otherwise. This is not a jab at you in particular, but I see this 'glow up' thing too often - its called a "grow up" broskies
real
This video was the pep talk I didn’t know I needed
Bro you’re entertaining asf❤
"Beauty is not just evrething , beauty is the only thing"
this video was great. i have some tips for people in the comments who might be looking for where to start with taking care of themselves.
1. you can manage your weight and still eat the food you like. you dont have to live on chicken, broccoli and rice to feel healthy. do some research on calorie deficit and intermittent fasting. you need to give your body a chance to process what you eat and reset your blood sugar levels.
2. you can eliminate most acne by washing your face at least once a day and changing your sheets once a week and pillowcase every time you shower. buy lots of pillowcases. buy a new pillow once a year OR get an antibacterial cover to put on under the pillowcase. if youre like me and cant use most skin cleansers because your skin is too sensitive, baby wipes are a life saver.
these are just a couple things that have worked for me. take them with a grain of salt. but dont be afraid to try.
I agree with you on almost everything, but lets rather say that for acne, you should maybe start visiting a dermatologist, because acne is obv different for everybody.... I for example have less pimples and more hyperpigmentation problems that you cant get simply rid of with a pillowcase :')
@crystallizinghumanity4773 figuring out the cause of acne is so important!! I used every type of facewash and pillowcase out there and none of it helped because my acne was hormonal, not bacterial.
I am so glad I found you! Everything I've ever wanted in a yt channel
Bro! I aint trying to just blow smoke up your ass but you won me over with in the first 30 seconds of the video! I have to be up at 6am I need to be sleeping rn, but imma finish your video because you are very well spoken and hilarious and have very interesting ideas! Keep doing what your doing brother!!
Me too 😂
1:50 YES. as a trans person, i now suddenly like how i look bc its so drastically different from before and it allows me to be more objective bc the realization that this is actually me hasnt set in yet.
i often feel bad about this feeling bc it feels like maybe its proof that im not really trans and just like girls or something, so its good to know that ppl whove lost weight feel similar
I like this dude lmao. You deserve millions of subscribers