This video helps so much my daughter is turning 1 and I’ve been feeling like she’s on a whole other level and I’m so far behind. She’s so active touching everything, playing with things that aren’t toys and everything goes to her mouth. I’ve been so defeated by the end of each day because of all the energy I’m using to tell her “no” when she is intrigued by everything. She’s even learned how to pull her gate open and walk through and walks through the barriers we create. But I think I need to take a different approach and use the advice in this video and start creating a “yes space” for her where she doesn’t feel restricted and can move around and touch things safely without me being loud and saying “no” every time she’s so happy to explore things. Lol I’m so new at this ! I’m so scared for the toddler stage 😅 I just don’t want to be a mom that says “no” all the time and don’t encourage her cause seeing her active does make me happy I just want to ensure she is safe. Great video and advice ♥️
I I think it’s important to provide different strategies if this doesn’t work because every kid is different. I’ve had 3 children. The first 2 were much easier to practice gentle parenting. As with my other two children I created as Montessori suggests “a yes space” I began with an xl play yard. He screamed as soon as we put him in it. We tried playing with him while in it so he didn’t feel as if he was being “left” there. We would even watch movies in there with blankets and pillows but as soon as I walked away to go to the restroom he would begin protesting immediately. He wasn’t yet crawling and already he was extremely stubborn. I then took down the play yard and put a free standing gate around the entire living room, there’s mats, a few toys and even a soft space for him. We have a Soft ottoman for him to pull himself up and it’s an overall neat space. Just as before, I can play with him and he’s fine, but when I get up so I can do the dishes he is begins screaming. It’s not separation anxiety because he can see everything I’m doing. I’m so close to him that he should feel that we are in the same space, but he feels like I’m keeping him away. Mind you the level of house is one open space so his yes space is 3/4 of the room and he can see everything I’m doing. I speak with him, play music and try my best to stay positive but he just screams. Once I had to cook dinner so I let him cry, It was 32 minutes of shame, guilt, frustration, doubt etc. In the end it didn’t do anything but give him terrible gas and made it difficult to console him. I have never let any child “cry it out” but I had to cook a meal for my family. At this point the entire first level is for him but it’s not ideal. The amount of times he’s hurt himself or fallen is terrible. I have no place to put him so I can run to the bathroom. I have to take him with me. There’s so many tips for kids who are easily comfortable but not for those who are restless. He’s only 10 months and is already attempting to walk. He hits all the milestones early and is ahead in his developmental growth. I don’t know what to do.
This is my son exactly. My daughter was so easy, and then my son came along and I have thought horrible things... I have thought he was damaged, evil, broken in some way, and in my worst moments I blamed him in my heart for putting my family through hell, and I yelled almost daily in my frustration, pleading with him to please give me some space, some silence, some smiles instead of constant crying and needing to be held. I spent more time researching what to do about him, than I spent taking care of myself and my family, and sunk into a nasty depression blaming myself for everything that went wrong or will go wrong. He's 4 now. All he needs is structure. He needs a rigid schedule and on-time naps that I couldn't seem to provide all these years due to the needs of others around him... and now that he is in preschool and aftercare while I'm working at his daycare, he is thriving. Go figure?! Wish I would have started him there 2 years ago. We are still working on residual outbursts and stubbornness, but he's okay! Yours will be too. Just hang in there and know that this too shall pass. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this though. It's not you. You're a good mom searching for answers. Some kids are just needier than others. Tell them its okay to feel this way, and then tell yourself too... it's okay to cry with them.
I need these videos so bad because my daughter is only 9 months and she does things and I say “no no no” so much I feel like a monster sometimes …. I want to be more gentle and not a loud giant
Definitely do your research!! Before your little angel turns 1, because parenting will be harder and I also had the same problem too. But I remember reading that only use “no” for really dangerous things and with a firm voice. In other things use “stop” or “don’t do that” and briefly explain even if they don’t understand. My little baby now understands what no means (she’s 10 months). Frequency over quantity!!
For 1 year olds my focus would be safety. For older kids I use my 3 step method to teach limits. You can access it here 👉🏼learn.marcelacollier.com/the-3-step-method
You can’t start as early as 9 months. Everything for babies is cause and effect. We say “change the effect to the cause “ for example if a baby keeps pulling your hair and instead of saying no , with high pitch voice and facial expressions; have a straight face and just the baby. The baby loves entertainment and probably doesn’t want to be put down.
What if you are not at home? Today I just came back from the park crying because my 18 month old threw a tantrum because he wanted to follow the ducks that were in the pound and I took him to the playground and he would go back to the pound. And it happens in every park, last time because he wanted to get in the middle of the kids in the swings. Should I start avoiding the park?
I know this was a while ago and your child is no longer 18 months so you're probably sorted. But look at what your child is interested in and find another way to engage. Your child loves ducks more than the park, make the ducks the yes, feed the ducks, follow the ducks, change your mindset, the park is not your child's interest at this point. Go to the park to engage with the ducks but teach your child about the water so your child learns over time that they cannot go into the water. Changing mindset and ensuring safety in those explorations is a great way to do this :) Hope you're happy and healthy
Cool..I naturally created at yes space. Our whole living room enclosed like your example safe that I could walk outve the room 15mins and not worry. I also set up a camera too lol. Then when I let her out to roam house, I remove anything I don't want her getting into like cat food, garbage cords and close doors off rooms I don't want her in. Shes curious and wants to learn so if course she'll grab things
I have 19 month old fraternal twin girls 👧 any tips for managing behaviors like one of them stealing stuff from other sister, pushing my hands away when I’m feeding her sister, crying when I don’t pick her up , throwing tantrums and other negative behaviors.
I encourage you to read early signs so he doesn't get to that point of aggression all the time. The tantrums workshop will guide you in 4 simple steps. This is the link learn.marcelacollier.com/sales-page-540652591649468367923
My poor 18 month old isn’t always fond of her yes space...She’s had it since day 1 but she also has quite a lot of freedom around the house. Maybe that’s why it’s often upsetting to her. When I have to take a shower I take the time to “prep” her and explain that I’m going to put her in her play yard and she’ll be safe and I’ll be back. Then I cross my fingers and pray. 😂
My oldest son is 4 years old and when I don’t want him to do something he looks at me and says “I don’t want to talk to you any more” it breaks me i saw a girl who talked bout ODD and all the things she said the list of things and my jaw dropped bc he does exactly those things but intentionally and I don’t know how to respond to each set behavior he does and I live in a RV cause we lost everything so space is cramped( no I am not homeless either we have a kitchen, bathroom, shower, hot water, propane, we on food stamps, cash aid to help us with rent till we get back on our feet my husband got a job finally) and we’re 28 thousand in debt and can’t afford anything of the gentle parenting program) and I would have him play outside but it’s also freaking cold outside for him to run around and he wants to play and there’s been a freaking swarm of bees that came out of nowhere my husband has to keep spraying and husband got stung by a bee 🐝 but the point that I’m trying to get across is that there are limited stuff that He can do that we have to do living in an RV and I have to constantly remind him “TO Walk only” He deliberately runs and shakes the entire RV and when I tell him or confront him on anything’s HE PROCEEDS TO think it’s funny and laughs about it and it frustrates me and it’s like why the heck would I even try at this point he does this each behavior I try to redirect and have boundaries for
He’s having a hard time coping with the transition , that’s all. He’s too young to be ODD. Help him cope and lane his emotions. If you need further help, go to marcelacollier.com
Setting up baby gates & yes space before child moves around is genius.
Yes 🙌🏽
@@HighImpactClub I’m 92 I still have baby hates
This video helps so much my daughter is turning 1 and I’ve been feeling like she’s on a whole other level and I’m so far behind. She’s so active touching everything, playing with things that aren’t toys and everything goes to her mouth. I’ve been so defeated by the end of each day because of all the energy I’m using to tell her “no” when she is intrigued by everything. She’s even learned how to pull her gate open and walk through and walks through the barriers we create. But I think I need to take a different approach and use the advice in this video and start creating a “yes space” for her where she doesn’t feel restricted and can move around and touch things safely without me being loud and saying “no” every time she’s so happy to explore things.
Lol I’m so new at this ! I’m so scared for the toddler stage 😅 I just don’t want to be a mom that says “no” all the time and don’t encourage her cause seeing her active does make me happy I just want to ensure she is safe.
Great video and advice ♥️
Thank you for this. We have a play yard for my daughter that way she can be safe but still explore and move around.
I I think it’s important to provide different strategies if this doesn’t work because every kid is different. I’ve had 3 children. The first 2 were much easier to practice gentle parenting. As with my other two children I created as Montessori suggests “a yes space” I began with an xl play yard. He screamed as soon as we put him in it. We tried playing with him while in it so he didn’t feel as if he was being “left” there. We would even watch movies in there with blankets and pillows but as soon as I walked away to go to the restroom he would begin protesting immediately. He wasn’t yet crawling and already he was extremely stubborn.
I then took down the play yard and put a free standing gate around the entire living room, there’s mats, a few toys and even a soft space for him. We have a Soft ottoman for him to pull himself up and it’s an overall neat space. Just as before, I can play with him and he’s fine, but when I get up so I can do the dishes he is begins screaming. It’s not separation anxiety because he can see everything I’m doing. I’m so close to him that he should feel that we are in the same space, but he feels like I’m keeping him away.
Mind you the level of house is one open space so his yes space is 3/4 of the room and he can see everything I’m doing. I speak with him, play music and try my best to stay positive but he just screams. Once I had to cook dinner so I let him cry, It was 32 minutes of shame, guilt, frustration, doubt etc. In the end it didn’t do anything but give him terrible gas and made it difficult to console him. I have never let any child “cry it out” but I had to cook a meal for my family. At this point the entire first level is for him but it’s not ideal. The amount of times he’s hurt himself or fallen is terrible. I have no place to put him so I can run to the bathroom. I have to take him with me. There’s so many tips for kids who are easily comfortable but not for those who are restless. He’s only 10 months and is already attempting to walk. He hits all the milestones early and is ahead in his developmental growth. I don’t know what to do.
THIS!!!! He's a velcro baby! He's so sweet and affectionate, but boy you cannot be apart for 3 seconds!!!!
This is my son exactly. My daughter was so easy, and then my son came along and I have thought horrible things... I have thought he was damaged, evil, broken in some way, and in my worst moments I blamed him in my heart for putting my family through hell, and I yelled almost daily in my frustration, pleading with him to please give me some space, some silence, some smiles instead of constant crying and needing to be held. I spent more time researching what to do about him, than I spent taking care of myself and my family, and sunk into a nasty depression blaming myself for everything that went wrong or will go wrong. He's 4 now. All he needs is structure. He needs a rigid schedule and on-time naps that I couldn't seem to provide all these years due to the needs of others around him... and now that he is in preschool and aftercare while I'm working at his daycare, he is thriving. Go figure?! Wish I would have started him there 2 years ago. We are still working on residual outbursts and stubbornness, but he's okay! Yours will be too. Just hang in there and know that this too shall pass. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this though. It's not you. You're a good mom searching for answers. Some kids are just needier than others. Tell them its okay to feel this way, and then tell yourself too... it's okay to cry with them.
I need these videos so bad because my daughter is only 9 months and she does things and I say “no no no” so much I feel like a monster sometimes …. I want to be more gentle and not a loud giant
My son is one years old and I feel the same way I tell him no or stop and he literally bust into tears like he’s afraid of me 😔 .. i need to fix this
Definitely do your research!! Before your little angel turns 1, because parenting will be harder and I also had the same problem too. But I remember reading that only use “no” for really dangerous things and with a firm voice. In other things use “stop” or “don’t do that” and briefly explain even if they don’t understand. My little baby now understands what no means (she’s 10 months). Frequency over quantity!!
Same girl
How or when do you teach your child “no” and boundaries then?
For 1 year olds my focus would be safety. For older kids I use my 3 step method to teach limits. You can access it here 👉🏼learn.marcelacollier.com/the-3-step-method
You can’t start as early as 9 months. Everything for babies is cause and effect. We say “change the effect to the cause “ for example if a baby keeps pulling your hair and instead of saying no , with high pitch voice and facial expressions; have a straight face and just the baby. The baby loves entertainment and probably doesn’t want to be put down.
What if you are not at home? Today I just came back from the park crying because my 18 month old threw a tantrum because he wanted to follow the ducks that were in the pound and I took him to the playground and he would go back to the pound.
And it happens in every park, last time because he wanted to get in the middle of the kids in the swings. Should I start avoiding the park?
I know this was a while ago and your child is no longer 18 months so you're probably sorted. But look at what your child is interested in and find another way to engage. Your child loves ducks more than the park, make the ducks the yes, feed the ducks, follow the ducks, change your mindset, the park is not your child's interest at this point. Go to the park to engage with the ducks but teach your child about the water so your child learns over time that they cannot go into the water. Changing mindset and ensuring safety in those explorations is a great way to do this :) Hope you're happy and healthy
I love this. My oldest had a yes space. With my youngest its a bit more chaotic but Ima working it
You’re doing awesome 😎😍😍😍
How do I teach my 8 month old to not pinch, pull hair, or slap. She has very strong hands and she can really leave a mark.
She’s a baby. No teaching, just coregulation
Cool..I naturally created at yes space. Our whole living room enclosed like your example safe that I could walk outve the room 15mins and not worry. I also set up a camera too lol. Then when I let her out to roam house, I remove anything I don't want her getting into like cat food, garbage cords and close doors off rooms I don't want her in. Shes curious and wants to learn so if course she'll grab things
You are doing it 💯
My sister 1 year old baby don't play with he's toy's he's more interested in cabinet door n banging the pans 🤦🏽
that's understandable
That’s awesome, they’re exploring and learning. My little guy use to love playing with the Tupperwares
My toddler’s yes space is his room but he hates being enclosed he wants to hang out with us 😩
that is very, very normal
I tried to click on the independent play guide but it says page not found.
Try this one learn.marcelacollier.com/front-offer1628916986513
I have 19 month old fraternal twin girls 👧 any tips for managing behaviors like one of them stealing stuff from other sister, pushing my hands away when I’m feeding her sister, crying when I don’t pick her up , throwing tantrums and other negative behaviors.
My son doesn't like being in his 'yes' space. He wants to be where we are 🤷🏻♂️
i completely understand
I’ve told my son not to do things. He hits me and hits other people and I told him “no” and he doesn’t listen. Idk what to do
I encourage you to read early signs so he doesn't get to that point of aggression all the time. The tantrums workshop will guide you in 4 simple steps. This is the link learn.marcelacollier.com/sales-page-540652591649468367923
My poor 18 month old isn’t always fond of her yes space...She’s had it since day 1 but she also has quite a lot of freedom around the house. Maybe that’s why it’s often upsetting to her.
When I have to take a shower I take the time to “prep” her and explain that I’m going to put her in her play yard and she’ll be safe and I’ll be back. Then I cross my fingers and pray. 😂
You baby is a natural explorer 😍😍
I’m glad that you thought about creating a yes space. Don’t cross your fingers, place a baby monitor above her yes space
My oldest son is 4 years old and when I don’t want him to do something he looks at me and says “I don’t want to talk to you any more” it breaks me i saw a girl who talked bout ODD and all the things she said the list of things and my jaw dropped bc he does exactly those things but intentionally and I don’t know how to respond to each set behavior he does and I live in a RV cause we lost everything so space is cramped( no I am not homeless either we have a kitchen, bathroom, shower, hot water, propane, we on food stamps, cash aid to help us with rent till we get back on our feet my husband got a job finally) and we’re 28 thousand in debt and can’t afford anything of the gentle parenting program) and I would have him play outside but it’s also freaking cold outside for him to run around and he wants to play and there’s been a freaking swarm of bees that came out of nowhere my husband has to keep spraying and husband got stung by a bee 🐝 but the point that I’m trying to get across is that there are limited stuff that He can do that we have to do living in an RV and I have to constantly remind him “TO Walk only” He deliberately runs and shakes the entire RV and when I tell him or confront him on anything’s HE PROCEEDS TO think it’s funny and laughs about it and it frustrates me and it’s like why the heck would I even try at this point he does this each behavior I try to redirect and have boundaries for
He’s having a hard time coping with the transition , that’s all. He’s too young to be ODD. Help him cope and lane his emotions. If you need further help, go to marcelacollier.com
Sounds like you need some specific strategies to work on those challenging behaviours first then you can try these ones
Thank you!!
You’re welcome