What I learned After 9 Years Of Gentle Parenting.

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  • Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
  • if you like the idea of gentle parenting, but you can't just make it work for your family, you might be missing what I overlooked doing gentle parenting with no success. In this video I share with you my journey doing gentle parenting for almost a decade raising children in foster care and raising my twins.
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Комментарии • 175

  • @OmegaWolf747
    @OmegaWolf747 10 месяцев назад +14

    I guess the goal is to understand the child's emotions and needs while still holding them accountable for their behavior.

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  10 месяцев назад +3

      Yes, you got it

    • @BL-sd2qw
      @BL-sd2qw 3 месяца назад

      Gentle parenting is just not abusing your kids.
      Accountability without blame is giving respect.

  • @Kattitude
    @Kattitude 3 года назад +145

    Gentle parenting and foster care is very hard but it’s the best thing ever for them!

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  3 года назад +17

      You are right. Plus it’s the only type of parenting allowed. We can’t touch those kids

    • @Kattitude
      @Kattitude 3 года назад +46

      @@HighImpactClub We shouldn’t touch any kids. Discipline isn’t supposed to hurt or be negative. It’s a teaching tool

    • @theblissfulparent
      @theblissfulparent 2 года назад +1

      So true!

    • @sandrabrown5909
      @sandrabrown5909 2 года назад +11

      @@Kattitude a spanking never hurt anyone a tap in the butt isn’t the end of the world you get over it

    • @sandra.helianthus
      @sandra.helianthus Год назад +7

      @@sandrabrown5909 if the spanking does not hurt, why do you spank then?
      ...because it hurts?
      And then is the question: why on earth would you want to hurt your child?
      Why would you actually want to hurt *anyone*?

  • @Shmoseph
    @Shmoseph 2 года назад +55

    Children need to be challenged in order to learn and grow and be successful in life. Just have self control when you discipline and make sure they know you love them. Simple as that.

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  2 года назад +4

      Well said!

    • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
      @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 года назад +5

      I agree. Being calm and self controlled is the key to effective discipline

    • @MaxineShaw_84
      @MaxineShaw_84 Год назад +2

      🎯🎯🎯 The difficulty comes in because of the glaring hypocrisy of self-control being the thing parents struggle with the most...while disciplining their kids for not practicing self-control. Following it up with the "I do this out of love" talk is directly conditioning them to expect that dynamic in the close connections they'll have. If the realization of that fact makes you uncomfortable as a parent, there's the starting point. Sit with that feeling and decide if your kid is worth the effort of implementing some healthier tools.

  • @jennyquezada9644
    @jennyquezada9644 3 года назад +100

    Do you think is a good idea to bring kids to Parents Teachers Conference and hear the teacher criticize them?
    Or we shouldn’t bring as it might lower their self-esteem (self-worth)?

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  3 года назад +40

      Depending on the teacher. I’m hesitant

    • @quotidian5077
      @quotidian5077 3 года назад +6

      My kids go however they usually go off and play.

    • @altair5072
      @altair5072 3 года назад +21

      I'd ask them if they wanted to come. I always asked to go when I was a kid, and it gave me the opportunity to feel proud of myself when the teachers had good things to say to my parents! Plus, (usually) teachers tend to be a bit gentler when the child in question is present. Though again, that depends on your kid and their teacher. Use your best judgement, but don't be afraid to ask for your kid's input.

    • @savethebees2574
      @savethebees2574 3 года назад +9

      I know this isn't an answer you were looking for, but my k-8 school did student-led conferences. They would have us fill out surveys on our goals and make self-assesments during the week prior, then on the day, we presented those goals along with any work we were proud of. The teacher (of course) had their own section to discuss grades and possible classroom issues, but they always let the student talk for a majority of the time.

    • @sarahhenning5484
      @sarahhenning5484 3 года назад +13

      @Charlie James seems like this teacher had "zero social antennas" and zero empathy. I am sorry you had to go through that

  • @mittypanda7866
    @mittypanda7866 3 года назад +25

    Keep up the good work children need more parents like you in this world

  • @hennessygarciahg
    @hennessygarciahg 3 года назад +50

    I hope that when I become a mom Lord willing that I will be patient and understanding to my children and some of the stuff can be applied when you are training your animals believe it or not I think.

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  3 года назад +7

      Yes, you’ll be an awesome mom

    • @hennessygarciahg
      @hennessygarciahg 3 года назад +5

      @@HighImpactClub aww, thanks. I’ve researched a lot of stuff and I watch and read stuff on psychology and behavior on animals and humans. If it’s proven by science that you shouldn’t do certain things to animals and children then you shouldn’t do it.

  • @ivin888
    @ivin888 3 года назад +17

    Ngl as a student, parent teacher meetings are always so nerve wrecking I just had one yesterday ( it was online) I am in class 9th
    When other student's turn came they were telling their unit test 2 marks and I pretended I haven't gotten them because I knew the comparison my mom would give me and how I will be taunted constantly
    I am not someone who is an ace at school
    I never genuinely liked studying
    So there was this mother who was telling teacher how her kid is a responsible person now and teh teacher agreed that he also scores good marks my mom looked so disappointed at me she said " then there is my kid who doesn't even study" " I will burn your phone some day " " why can't you never just study and score better marks " then she got to know the marks ....the part where I had a breakdown
    My mom said " *20*/30?? Are you mad? It's just class 9 math , I have put you in such a good school, such a good tuition why don't you score good" " what on earth do you have so much ego for " " and you have no hardships no circumstances and no sadness to face you're just a 14y/o your only objective should be your studies , don't lose your mind about all the stuff you have been saying to me these days like you being non binary and shit , that shouldn't matter to you leave gender and shit focus only on your studies nothing else should be on your mind" my little bit of confidence and little bit of will to study for mid term exams that are starting day after tomorrow vanished right away and between tears when I went to try to study I forgot what I had learned completely now I don't know what to do
    Sorry for such a long comment

    • @trutzblankerhans
      @trutzblankerhans 3 года назад +4

      Damn. I'm sorry this is happening. Sending you warm hugs.

    • @fantabulousfreak9821
      @fantabulousfreak9821 3 года назад +7

      Naw, fam, they're spouting lies to make sure you don't have anything else to lean on except them. As a kid from an Asian household and told to my face that I'm a disappointment with a narcissistic mother and enabling father, let me tell you, those claims ain't shit. I won countless awards in writing to appease them, passed difficult exams in pre-med that took weeks to study for and they were mediocre results but I passed and I was happy but all my parents did was downplay those achievements and the hard work put into them.
      What I'm trying to say is that don't listen to those claims. You're 14, you're discovering yourself, you're still in a place in your life where it's okay not to know what to do, you're still finding and will find new ways and habits to get your grades up and find something to dedicate yourself (a marketable craft, hobby, job, etc.) and it's not fair your mom keeps comparing you to the other kids when you are, in fact, not those kids. Youre only you and that's okay. It's difficult now and maybe even for a good while but keep your head up, buddy. Your mom ain't shit trying to break you down and guilt trip you like that.

    • @chess6602
      @chess6602 2 года назад

      I know how hard hearing shit like that can be, and my heart really goes out to you.
      I didn’t like studying, but then found ways to make it a release from all of that stress, and now love it - I do a degree at Oxford and do self study into other subjects out of pure fascination as a stress relief.
      It’s hard, but the first thing to do is to get out of the mindset of comparing to everyone else. You should only ever compare your scores to your other scores, see if you’ve improved, or if there’s an area you definitely seem weaker at and so need to pay particular attention to.
      The entirety of school comes down to being able to reflect critically, without criticising yourself, and then planning how to move on from there with studying.
      Try some lo-if study beats to listen to - they’re really relaxing and help me get into a great mindset for doing work. Also, do work somewhere where you won’t be disturbed, but you know your parents will see you. I always chose the dining room table - headphones on so they wouldn’t disturb me, but visible so they at least couldn’t assume a bad grade was due to a lack of work. Doesn’t get rid of all their harsh words, but can help a little bit as if they see you’re working they might ease off a bit

  • @hannahspaperjewels1
    @hannahspaperjewels1 2 года назад +52

    I have three kids. One of them has confirmed autism and another I suspect has it too. One is six and other one (confirmed ASD) is almost four. At times, they seem to drive me crazy with screaming, tantrums, head banging, and crying. Once I find the real issue behind these behaviors and act rationally, everything irons out.

    • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
      @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 года назад +1

      Good for you!

    • @Emma2537ly
      @Emma2537ly 2 года назад +3

      @M S it makes them scared

    • @rubym3915
      @rubym3915 Год назад +1

      Blessings to you sweet mama! Those kiddos are lucky to have you as their guide

    • @nurb4295
      @nurb4295 Год назад +6

      @M S they are not afraid of bad behavior, they are scared of the person hitting them.

    • @sandra.helianthus
      @sandra.helianthus Год назад +2

      @M S Spanking only teaches your child that hurting people is a normal way of interaction, if you feel helpless

  • @chicomico
    @chicomico 3 года назад +21

    Would this apply for my 8 1/2 year old ? And 5 year old ?

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  3 года назад +14

      Absolutely. I have older kids too

    • @theblissfulparent
      @theblissfulparent 2 года назад +1

      Absolutely! Never too late to start gentle parenting

  • @theblissfulparent
    @theblissfulparent 2 года назад +11

    We are all about the peaceful and gentle parenting!

  • @nerdgeekcosplay909
    @nerdgeekcosplay909 3 года назад +33

    I’m scared of becoming a mom

    • @elenapederson1862
      @elenapederson1862 3 года назад +10

      You should see a psychologist, honestly probably the best the thing you can do for yourself.

    • @noodle9902
      @noodle9902 3 года назад +5

      @@elenapederson1862 why should someone see a psychologist just because they're scared of becoming a mom (if it's interfering with their life then yes see a psychologist but otherwise i don't see a need to) ? genuine question

    • @elenapederson1862
      @elenapederson1862 3 года назад +14

      @@noodle9902 Well therapy can often give vauleable insight into why we feel certain ways, more than that, doctors can give helpful advice on how to handle and cope with stressful situations, especially if you feel lost and directionless and all alone. Its very healthy to express how your feeling, keeping everything bottled up leads to the point where it interferes with your life. To prevent getting to that breaking point therapy is your best bet. Certainly helped me. Not everyone has support or wasn't given the tools growing up to handle motherhood. Contrary to media, its not just all diagnoses and pills, mostly its just talking to a non bias party and becoming a better you.

    • @keelychristine
      @keelychristine 3 года назад +6

      Make sure you heal yourself from all the inherited of yourself, your parents and your ancestors. This will help tremendously. 💕
      Heal from your past so you don't inflict it on your future children.

    • @heatherpage1445
      @heatherpage1445 3 года назад +2

      I was too. These gentle parenting videos have help me feel like I am doing some things right and it's cool to get that affirmation. I was raised in an ugly environment. Just eww. I am winging it with my own daughter. She is pretty cool. It is a constant learning process.

  • @hermithollow2024
    @hermithollow2024 5 месяцев назад +1

    Wow. I just watched another video on this gentle parenting trend yesterday. I’m an old lady now but when I was raising my son (as a single mother) I noticed very early on what my son needed when I disciplined him. I only had to lower my voice and focus directly on him and ask him if he would like to change his statement to me. For example if he back talked me his world got very quiet, I stared at him, lowered my voice and asked, “ would you like to change your answer? 99% of the time he would sigh and say, I’m sorry mom. I would say, “good answer.” Then I’d ask him why he back talked in the first place? He would explain if he could. If he couldn’t I’d ask more questions. You might not believe this but the majority of the time right up until he got grown, I could tell by his mood that he was coming down with some virus. Oh it was such a joy to parent my son. So what you’ve said truly works. Take it from someone who raised a child back in the day when yelling and spanking were the norm. 😊

  • @yusyaidah
    @yusyaidah 3 года назад +9

    What are the children 5 basic needs.. would love to hear 🥰

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  3 года назад +1

      You can learn it in our E-book here learn.marcelacollier.com/theconsiderateconversation

  • @AliF-zx8sk
    @AliF-zx8sk Год назад +2

    When these kids grow up to young adults who is going to validate their feelings in the real world?

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  11 месяцев назад

      Themselves and the people who love them. They will know who is worth keeping in their lives. I say it because I’m thar adult

  • @Ana-B612
    @Ana-B612 2 года назад +6

    Is there a reasearch about gentle parenting or an article? I want to write a thesis about this topic but don't know where to find solid evidance/proof other than youtube/tiktok videos and blogs.

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  2 года назад

      Please search research on attachment theory

    • @itskitty808
      @itskitty808 Год назад

      I haven't found any studies on gentle parenting. So far, I have only seen videos on RUclips on the subject.

  • @edgarmorales4476
    @edgarmorales4476 Год назад +6

    Children know nothing about self-control other than that taught by parents and teachers.
    Therefore, the mistakes children make in responding to life and their ups-and-downs, can only be accepted in good spirit by parents and teachers, since children have no understanding of what is driving them.
    If children want something - they WANT something right away and wonder why they can't have it. There is nothing more in children's minds than this. Children see something they like - they want it.
    It is cruel to tell children roughly: "No! You can't have it," their entire system is insulted and assaulted. From earliest babyhood, the training process must be initiated by logic and reassurance - affirming children's right to feel secure within their environment. Children's sense of security should be developed by explaining the right way to express their wishes. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - not irritation or anger, must choose the words which tell children why they can't have what they want. Children will hear the message when given in unconditional love.
    When delivered in anger, it arouses children's deepest ego-drives and begins to take form as resentment - overt or hidden or a sense of deep seated frustration which taints the Ego (the guardian of individuality/programming), reducing children's natural sense of inner validity. Children need to possess this sense of personal validity and shouldn't be subdued or destroyed.
    It requires parents or teachers to point out, very clearly, that other people in the world also have their needs, their rights to their possessions, their desire for peace and pleasure. No one, not even children - or adult - has the right to upset another person in order to obtain their own satisfaction!
    If another child hits your child and makes him cry, it's only natural for the ego-drive to want to fight back - he is programmed to defend himself against the other child.
    It calls for parents and teachers to point out that a "payback," revenge in conflict, only escalates, bringing more pain to children, and for this reason, "payback" is entirely pointless.
    Better to LAUGH and turn away. And rather than allow the irritation and hurt in the mind to continue, better still to take the problem to GOD in prayer and ask for the hurt to be removed from children's consciousness, and seek a means of reconciliation.
    A child should also be taught to take time to understand that he and the other child are equally children born of the Divine Moment. When a child is spiritually receptive and can make this procedure of recognizing his spiritual kinship with other children and the "rights of others equal with his own," into a habit, he will then be given the greatest spiritual gift possible. In such a way, is the ego-drive weakened by the practical daily application of inspirational love, while the central "I"ess of the child remains strong and self-confident.
    Children should be taught the benefits of laughter.

    Therefore, skilled and insightful teaching is absolutely necessary to steer children into an appreciation of the rights of other people - EQUAL WITH THEIR OWN RIGHTS.

    This is the spiritual law which should dominate the home and the classroom. Any other law by which to judge circumstances is faulty and lacking in balance.

    The best teaching will rely - not on the "because I say so" attitude - but on a systematic reference in every circumstance to "brotherly love" and the equal rights of others.
    At the same time, children shouldn't be indoctrinated in "self-sacrifice" since this type of caring must be willing and born only of the individual's spiritual perceptions and goals.
    Self-sacrifice is born of spiritual enlightenment, of a higher road to follow, of denial of the little self to remove the Ego (the guardian of individuality/programming) barriers obstructing attunement with the universality of God. True enlightened Self-sacrifice brings a spiritual consciousness to the heights of joy. There is no sense of loss in any form.

  • @TheBritfashionista
    @TheBritfashionista Год назад +2

    Will I hit my kids no but will I have an attitude and take away things they like if they don't listen absolutely.When you do wrong things there are consequences.Just with everyone else in this world.I will definitely explain and talk to them about their emotions.But at the same time there are consequences.

  • @bluebird1914
    @bluebird1914 2 года назад +6

    I respect how this video has no dislikes

  • @Warefamily2024
    @Warefamily2024 2 года назад +4

    I hear what you’re saying about understanding the levels that occur before a tantrum but my three year old goes 0 to 360 so there’s no time for her to assess or for me to even assess or rather prevent the tantrum. So what is your advice on that? two ex:. This morning we’re at a store doing a craft and we give her advanced notice that we’re going to have to leave because other kids are coming in to do the craft and she has paint all over her hands. So we get a wipe out and I say OK a couple more times and I let her paint a couple more times and then it’s screaming in front of everyone when we try and wipe hands off. I thought I gave her advanced notice but I just don’t know how to avoid the screaming. Another example is I am leaving the house to go to the UPS store and leaving her with my husband. She wants to give me five hugs before I go and as soon as I get in the car she’s screaming and telling my husband to stop it. Now I know in this example she just wants me and it’s a phase but I’m trying to get her to learn that three hugs is also OK and there has to be a boundary so I can actually leave the house you know?

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  2 года назад +3

      Separation anxiety is the need. She fears losing connection. So how can you keep connection after the separation? That’s the solution. To find more parenting solutions about big emotions, I recommend you this resource 👉🏼learn.marcelacollier.com/coping-strategies1652475150140

    • @auriahhubbard5053
      @auriahhubbard5053 Год назад +1

      I know supernanny has suggested the husband getting her engaged in an activity right before you leave. That way her mind won’t be so intent on you leaving. For leaving fun places with her, supernanny would also suggest using a time frame.. maybe even set a timer. Also tone of voice is important. Be matter of fact and not “moddy coddly” good luck with your gentle parenting journey!

  • @Theemilybirrell
    @Theemilybirrell 2 года назад +6

    So good Marcela. You are doing amazing!!

  • @heathercovington5220
    @heathercovington5220 Год назад +3

    Gentle parenting is a weird obsession. All you need to learn how to do is communicate. But your not your children’s friend , your a parent. All animals in any species discipline. Just humans are not so smart

  • @bree647
    @bree647 Год назад +1

    I haven't finished the video yet (I'm definently going to) but I'm at the part where her FS told her shut up and explaining how she's wondering if her gental parenting g caused a disrespectful behavior. And I'm a ftm I know nothing about gental parenting so I'm not sure if this is right (I was raised with authoritative parenting that also included alot of phsical mental and emotional abuse so i dont have a great example to look back at to learn) but I feel that now that I'm a parent and bc not that long ago I was a child so putting myself in both positions kids are ment to disrespect you and will alot when upset kids emotions and thought process are very impulsive they physically don't have the Impulse control or the tools to always calm their ever growing and changing hormonal bodys and growing and changing emotions. We as parents I feel it's our job as the older supposedly more mature and less impulsive adult and care giver to not just disrespect them back then making them think it's ok to be disrespectful. Instead the gentle part would be showing them how to respond back to that kind of mild disrespect but the way you Will respond gently I'm assuming depends on the kid and/or your individual situation though

  • @inesalveano1356
    @inesalveano1356 Месяц назад

    Tienes este mismo contenido, pero en español? para que mi esposo y mi mamá lo vean :D

  • @genericwhitemale1114
    @genericwhitemale1114 Год назад +1

    Gentle parenting sets your child up for failure

  • @apriltaylor2059
    @apriltaylor2059 2 года назад +1

    I am praying that I will get the money to be able to do the program! I feel like I am running out of time bc my kids are 11 and 8😢

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  Год назад +1

      There is time, and there is a free class for parents of tweens and teens here teens.hicparenting.com/masterclass?affiliate_id=3750861&

  • @jackeyreyes6534
    @jackeyreyes6534 2 года назад +1

    Do you know of anyone that does gentle parenting in spanish? I have a younger sister and I want her to have a better relationship with my mom than I do.

  • @yomeama5928
    @yomeama5928 2 года назад +17

    Im 16, and I have a friend who has DID (dissociative identity disorder) and helping my friend and their alts is like taking care of children. It is the most difficult task I have ever faced. This is very helpful thank you I shall be studying more. Your a great guide ma‘am

    • @dangeroushanako5623
      @dangeroushanako5623 2 года назад +8

      just remember you have no responsibility on your friend, take care of yourself and your mental health before taking care of someone else
      I went trough something similar and it arrived at a point that wasn't healthy for me anymore. Remember that OFFERING HELP IS NOT A RESPONSABILITY you are doing it because you WANT TO, so always take breaks if you need to,
      Of course being their friend of course means you should help them to some extent but remember that even if it feels like taking care of a child you are not their parent
      wish you well, what you are doing is very noble

    • @yomeama5928
      @yomeama5928 2 года назад +2

      @@dangeroushanako5623 Yknow I really needed to hear that. Thank you I’ve been trying and it’s been difficult but this has helped me so much. Sometimes I lose hope but whenever someone likes this I always come back and watch and remind myself it takes lots of time. I needed this reminder cause I forget sometimes. Thank you very much ^^

    • @VoyagerD
      @VoyagerD 2 года назад +2

      I'm going to be honest, I doubt your friend had DID.

    • @nessmarie6044
      @nessmarie6044 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@VoyagerD and what about this 4 sentence comment made you come to that conclusion (despite not knowing the person at all)?

    • @VoyagerD
      @VoyagerD 9 месяцев назад

      @@nessmarie6044 Because more people are ableist than actual people with disabilities.

  • @arianaedwards6793
    @arianaedwards6793 Год назад +1

    Very good video

  • @chriscook460
    @chriscook460 3 года назад +30

    Kids should be kids not treated as adults...kids should not be at parent teacher interviews!

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  3 года назад +6

      Maybe 🤔

    • @MariaBelova
      @MariaBelova 3 года назад +7

      What age are we talking about?

    • @fabplays6559
      @fabplays6559 3 года назад +7

      Huh? I attended parent teacher interviews, it mostly the norm past the age of twelve in my country.

    • @jemmastone11
      @jemmastone11 3 года назад +4

      I feel bad for your kids chris.

    • @hennessygarciahg
      @hennessygarciahg 3 года назад +5

      What? Kids are going to be adults someday. Honestly, I think it’s fine if the teacher is nice and things. Also, if there’s other kids there and toys most likely they’re going to play. No, I’m not a mom yet. Lord willing someday I will be, but I do a lot of research on psychology and behavior on animals and people. I watch and read a lot of stuff. It’s very interesting to me and I think it would help me someday when I do become a mama.

  • @yas193
    @yas193 Год назад

    Hi I seen you on Facebook but in Spanish do you the workshop in Spanish?

  • @KarasuJiru
    @KarasuJiru 2 года назад

    It sounds like you did gentle parenting/responsive parenting wrong.

  • @lesliegonzalez4038
    @lesliegonzalez4038 2 года назад +5

    18 here teen mom it’s been really hard with my 1 year old five month boy he gets extremely frustrated and every time I try to correct him he drags him self on the floor I let him do it and let him take out the anger I ignore him I feel like if a pay attention to that behavior it’ll just make it worse I’m obviously not going to hit him either so when he’s done I tell him what he did was really unnecessary and dangerous as he can hurt him self when he’s dragging him self on the floor im not sure what to do for now I just ignore him and don’t give him that type of attention but please someone give me tips I’m extremely worried I don’t want him to start doing it in public he also cries and gets really mad at almost anything if I tell him it’s time to go inside he’ll start crying and dragging him self on the floor it’s almost like Im dragging a ten year old boy he’s so strong someone just give me tips I’m a desperate mom I don’t want him to have problems in school when he’s older 🥺😞

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  2 года назад +4

      Hello mommy. You are a good mommy. Your baby doesn’t have a concept of self or danger. His brain is very new and immature. If he cries I recommend you to pick him up and soothe him 🥰🥰

    • @SpookyBur
      @SpookyBur Год назад +3

      Sounds like he has a hard time with transitions my son has a hard time with that too. Giving him warning of an impending transition might help him. Like I know you’re having fun but we’re going to be leaving or going inside in ten minutes then at five minutes I’ll be like hey you have five minutes. In the beginning he would throw a fit but then I explained to him that hey you can either throw a fit for your last fifteen minutes in the car or you can play and have fun for your last fifteen minutes and we can come back another day. Now we don’t have many meltdowns when we have to leave.
      And if he’s harming himself you should intervene. Maybe pick him up and cuddle him. One thing I found that really helped my son was when I saw him harming himself I asked him if he could please stop hurting my baby. Just the change in perspective really helped him understand that he’s not just hurting himself when he acts out it’s painful for me too. He’s loved and valued and I care deeply about his well being. So now knowing I love him and wish for him to be whole and unhurt he doesn’t have those self destructive behaviors anymore.

    • @Janellabelle
      @Janellabelle Год назад +2

      @@SpookyBur I remember this was very nice when my mom would do it. She was very good about telling us we will have to do things in a but of time.

  • @Kristin_MommyBreakdown
    @Kristin_MommyBreakdown Год назад

    Thank you for the gentle parenting tips!!

  • @pharmclare
    @pharmclare Год назад

    Amazing video

  • @fable_enthusiast
    @fable_enthusiast Год назад +2

    Gentle parenting it's what parenting should be .

  • @leah-michelle5872
    @leah-michelle5872 2 года назад +64

    "Gentle parenting" is one of the reasons for why we have to listen to kids having screaming fits in Walmart. It's also the reason teachers (including myself) have so many brats in our classes.

    • @StrawBerryCow725
      @StrawBerryCow725 2 года назад +57

      Please tell me how you know gentle parenting causes these behaviors. Kids have been having tantrums in Walmart long before parents started using gentle parenting. 🙄 this method used properly is used to help kids learn to regulate their emotions specifically so that they don’t end up breaking down as much.

    • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
      @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 года назад +6

      The problem with gentle parenting is that if you weren’t using it from day one and you start after your child has challenging behaviours this style does not address how to handle those behaviours

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  2 года назад +81

      You should highly consider your profession. Honestly. If you don’t have the patience to be kind with your student. What are you doing in the classroom?

    • @LAYDEEYASMIN
      @LAYDEEYASMIN 2 года назад +37

      There's a difference between "gentle parenting" and "passive-dismissive". Passive/dismissive parenting styles usually allow their kids to get away with a lot with little to no consequence. Gentle parenting is a healthy way to address children in their "fits". Sometimes it may look like a toddler screaming at the store. But the "gentle parent" is addressing the situation. The learning is happening over a period of time. And as a previous teacher, it aches my heart to hear another teacher call their class "brats". You should know that the most challenging students are usually the ones who need the most care/attention/help.

    • @emilianolodges8470
      @emilianolodges8470 2 года назад

      Yes!! It’s misguided.

  • @juliedonald2706
    @juliedonald2706 2 года назад

    👍

  • @davidburden2360
    @davidburden2360 2 года назад +1

    I was born with aggressive hot looks, my friends were beaten with the ugly stick it was not gentle

  • @iseegoodandbad6758
    @iseegoodandbad6758 2 года назад +1

    Attachment parenting sounds so quaint and beautiful but why is there a gender bias? It seems mothers prefer to keep their little daughter's (as opposed to sons) very close to them and even breastfeed them for as long as possible!!! Is it because little girls are easier to carry? Don't sons deserve the same level of comfort and closeness with "mommy"?? 🤨

  • @sandrabrown5909
    @sandrabrown5909 2 года назад +3

    Gentle parenting is the worst type of parenting you’re teaching them to be weak and how to manipulate their parents I came for the old school you had respect for you’re elders said please and thank you yes ma’am and no sir you did as you were told and yes when I had a temper tantrum I was brought to my room for a time out and I got a spanking when I deserved it it’s called discipline you learned the difference between right and wrong yes my parents would sit down and talk to me about what I did was wrong and why I was being punished too many parents today afraid to discipline their children for fear of childrens services finding out or god forbid if you discipline you’re kid they may not want to be you’re freaking friend anymore gentle Parenting teaches children how they can get one over on their parents believe me I raised 3 kids the old fashioned way and they are well respected happy healthy adults with lives of their own and they the k me ever so often for being such a great parent raising them with good morals and values that they have taken with them now that they are out in the real world

    • @yennapark9496
      @yennapark9496 2 года назад +5

      I am a product of stern Asian parenting. I got spanked, and everything you listed. Did I turned out okay? No. Mom herself signed me up for Therapy and even her because of inter generational traumas. But did I grew up respectful of authority? Yes. Way more than needed tbh since any Authority figure scares me. Esp, soldiers. Since my father is one. (Mom got worse discipling from my grandpa, she needed to kneel on rice as punishment.) Father had huge anger management issues he got from his own father. They do explain why I got my ass handed to me. But I got their temper which made me absolutely terrified to have kids.
      I had a cousin live with us for a few months. And the way I discipline him reminded me of my father. I shouted at him rather than firmly explain wtf he did wrong. Time outs, Getting his toys, being a disciplinarian.(Just like how i got my intense fear of anyone shouting, since Dad shouts at me for not getting my multiplications). I spank him and let out my frustrations at him before explaining what he did wrong.
      Is very gentle I think is wrong? Yes. But what she said on the video makes sense. You can be gentle but also be firm with the rules and intervene than hit your child.

    • @sandrabrown5909
      @sandrabrown5909 2 года назад

      @@yennapark9496 what you went the rough was abuse plan and simple torture of the worst kind and for that I’m truly sorry a light spanking is discipline and it shouldn’t be the first result I grew up with time outs and warnings when that failed a quick tap on the Butt as I got older I knew right from wrong so when I was out of line privileges were taken away extra chores were given and I grew up fine no child should be scared or beaten as a form of discipline

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub  2 года назад +7

      that thing you described is not gentle parenting. That sounds like permissive parenting to me

    • @itskitty808
      @itskitty808 Год назад +1

      Yes! I was raised on discipline and time-outs! I have ADHD and when I was a kid, the structure I got from discipline helped me to better manage my ADHD symptoms in adulthood. Not only that, I was taught common sense, respect and manners. Sure, I got a light but swift tap with a bamboo stick on the behind but it worked. I was taught to earn things if I wanted them by doing chores, finishing my homework, getting A's and B's on my tests and quizzes, a d behaving.

  • @martinamalerova5565
    @martinamalerova5565 2 года назад

    why is the intro so loud

  • @keithearley1734
    @keithearley1734 2 года назад +7

    Another lost generation, raised by a lost generation.

    • @Moszan
      @Moszan 2 года назад +9

      Uh....okay?

    • @schlagie
      @schlagie 2 года назад +4

      What do you mean by that, Keith?

    • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
      @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 года назад

      Hopefully we will all learn and grow

    • @sonyavillarruel7502
      @sonyavillarruel7502 2 года назад +7

      I’m sure ur grand pappy said the same thing Keith

    • @sealedbyhisblood906
      @sealedbyhisblood906 10 месяцев назад

      I agree with you Keith, this sick world is backwards. Kids are parents, parents are at the mercy of their kids. Grateful I was raised right.

  • @davidburden2360
    @davidburden2360 2 года назад

    gentle does not work smack them till sunday and earn back the respect you are worth and you deserve

    • @Swanky723
      @Swanky723 2 года назад +6

      And let them grow up to be emotionally traumatised

    • @galaxytaba7lite316
      @galaxytaba7lite316 27 дней назад

      If u do that , trust me u are worth 0 respect and value