3 Steps To Become A Great Conversationalist... From Matthew Hussey / Get The Guy
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- Опубликовано: 10 авг 2013
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Website: howtogettheguy.com
Facebook: / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter: / matthewhussey
Subscribe: / gettheguyteam
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Today I want to converse with you about conversing.
I want to talk about better ways of giving value in conversation than going in and asking mundane questions.
The story I began this video with has been a beautiful way of starting conversations for me this week.
(Please excuse my awful American accent. It's the best I had in me today.)
When I've been introduced to a group of people at a party for instance, I've been able to go in and say, "Hey guys, you've got to settle this for me. Is this normal?..."
The truth is, the world is made up of really sh*tty conversationalists.
When we go into conversation, too many people sit back waiting for the other people they're with to lead in being a good conversationalist.
Rather than thinking you have to fall back on a generic set of topics and questions, forget all of that.
Instead, apply these three steps...
1) Get out of your head
Don't be inside your own head thinking too much. You want to be expressing opinions and talking about the things going on around you.
2) Pay attention
Pay attention to what's happening around you.
--What clothes are people wearing? Is there a pattern to what people are doing? Is it quiet? Is it loud? Is there anything weird happening?
3) Have opinions
Opinions give other people license to talk and are a great way to evoke responses from other people. Have opinions of things going on around you. They also help get people out of their heads.
Question of the day: Can you remember a great way someone started a conversation with you? What did they do/say?
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To learn more about conversation and how to steer things forward to a place of building chemistry and attraction with a guy, check out my online home study course Attract Any Man.
www.gettheguy.co.uk/attract-an...
Website: howtogettheguy.com
Facebook: / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter: / matthewhussey
Subscribe: / gettheguyteam 
Развлечения
"No...I'm really fast" 😂😂😂 love it!
Jaspreet Sembhi right 😂 that was enough to make me press like
😂😂😂
i'm a really quiet, reserved & introverted person and feel like i'm such a horrible conversationalist. but i love the 3 steps you mentioned:
1. get out of your head - i do this all the time. i overthink too much.
2. pay attention to your surroundings.
3. actually have an opinion about your surroundings.
definitely gonna keep these in mind. thanks so much, matthew! :3
I am different with different ppl. n i really dnt get this bout myself.
Same for me. Trying to become a better version of myself. Thanks for the summary though haha!
Irene C
Just don’t have an opinion about religion or God or......in real life. Some people
Take sports very seriously, if you’re not for their team. One reason I dislike
Team sports. People start arguing.
me too, when I’m talking to someone, I have nothing to talk about, and for some reason I always stutter ..
I thought the last part of your comment was a bible verse
He reminds me of Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans and Daniel Radcliffe... Hmmm.
And his hair and accent remind me of Taron Egerton
Yes! I always thought the same thing!
In the best way, Matt's hot
AKA a fucking dreamboat
"im new to america, Not sure if this sort of thing happens often" lol so cute
First guy runs off with your phone, you run after him, second person one steals your car.
sounds like my son, he would let someone take advantage of him. people all over are trying to hurt him an steal our dreams and confidence in the end! jealous people are evil
how is "shooting fleeing criminals" going to help you protect anything?
abdul Kek because they have your phone in their hand
Anxiety issues.
I'm just really glad all these years English learning pays back.
You're so right about it!😃👍
I swear british guys doing american accents is pretty much the hottest thing ever hahaha
He sounds goooodddd😊😊
I want to the jiggidy diggity with Mathew I'm drunk
Ummm well then I guess that means you should just date an American..
Kiarra Thomas SERIOUSLY
Helps when the guy is hot. He could do a fucking Vietnamese accent and it'd be the same
I feel like when it's with someone u are afraid of losing and u feel u need to impress and u really are conscious to make sure that everything is going right and will work out, is when problems come in conversation. Like if u are worrying that the conversation might not flow or might get awkward (even with someone u can talk to hours on end) that's when it happens. It's like ur too focussed on keeping the convo.going that u lose the point of the conversation and become a crappy coversationalist.
I´m really social, but driving the conversation with people that barely talk is really tiring in the long run.. thank you for helping me up, I don´t know how you learn all your information, but it's genius, thank you :)
exactly!!!
I always end up interviewing people i'm interested in having a conversation with, and it usually bores them. It definitely makes more sense to talk about whats happening in the moment. Thanks Matt!
i was distracted the whole time by your ability to change your accent and sound so american (north).
Mee too
I had to watch it all over again x)
Mee too
I had to watch it all over again x)
Lol totally noticed that too... was pretty intrigued...Had to replay the video several times..ha! Call me weird..but I LOVED it
This guy sounds nothing like us in North America. Where are you from that you think so?
How adorable. Matthew is as captivating as ever even when just coversing on how to converse. :)
I’m a very shy person, but I hate awkward silences. Soo... here’s what happens I tell a story or give my opinion on something, and then everyone gives their opinion and I end up getting left out 😂 so I’m good at bringing people together
I'm impressed that you stayed to hear the whole conversation of the guy with your phone.
That was such an eye opener. Lately I don't feel like talking about myself much but I like meeting new people but it's hard to surpass the "what do u do" conversation. Thank u so much for sharing this :)
SO true. I meet so many people that refuse to even participate in a conversation. I use to think it was me, but no. It's them lol.
Well one thing I have realized is that people in general are not normal, but in a way keeping that in mind with everyone you meet helps yourself from getting in your own head so much. I have worked in retail well over a year & you realize this. You will come across so many people that have their own story & personality. It helps a person who may be hard with conversations to be less pressured & more relaxed.In a way we are all in the same boat.
If only I could count the number of times I've either asked someone what they're studying when I first meet them, or the number of times I've been asked the exact same question. Always the friendly well of wisdom.Thanks Matt!
I love the American accent - the deep voice! Matthew, you are amazing. Thank you so much !
I have a very opinionated friend who could spark a conversation in a classroom of people which would go on forever, including the teachers. I think expressing your opinion brings out passion in people and engages them even if they are shy
I love these videos! So useful for real life, not just relationships. Keep up the good work!
I live in L.A. and I think your story is absolutely hilarious! I get approached by all kinds of people and not just in gas stations but in all sorts of other places as well. The exchanges these people make with me on a day-to-day basis are in no shape or form normal. I'm laughing just thinking about it! But like you mentioned, they become great stories to share with others and to start an interesting conversation with.
i really love and enjoy your videos. what i appreciate alot is that your videos are not that long.
I love you! Thank you for what you do for us!
happens all the time in America... sometimes people will ask me for a short ride like to the bus stop.. when we get there they just get out and move along.. not even a thank you
You made my day! Thank you dear Matt! Love you
It's not just an American thing, but it's hysterical :P
Just listened to this and felt inspired, thank you Matthew x
This is pure gold
Finally! Someone actually addressed a serious issue. .London is full of people looking trapped in their world of fear...Won't even look you in the eye, and heaven forbid if you smile at them. Awareness (being present with what is going on around you) and self awareness (aware of what vibe you're giving off are crucial qualities.
'don't even look at me', 'mind your own business' 'I don't have time for life, can't you see I'm in a rush'. Look around and break free of living in fear and loathing my friends :)
You are a delight.
I like how you suggest using humor to liven things up. It really does work.. and like music, it's something most can relate to and get something out of.
Thank you Matthew for another entertaining and intelligent video. You rock dude!!!
Seriously I always have a laugh after watching your videos. While I love your advice, I always anticipate your stories which always make me laugh. A personal favorite, your day in the life video, classic. Keep up with and waiting for more laughs.
You have the best tips for shy or nervous people!
Matthew Hussey's American accent!!! :- D
Spot on, good job Matt, good Job
I actually In love with this dude. 🖤
imagine if the girlfriend knew it was Matthew Hussey's phone number lol
This comment deserves more likes lol
I started avoiding people because I don't know how to converse with others & get all awkward, hyperventilating...I totally freak out!
I still don't know if I can pull it off after this, but thank you :)
it just takes some time! I'm not very good at it either yet, but I figure this is one of those things that really need practice in order to perfect. Just put aside the fright and keep talking to people!
Love your humor, thanks for the tip!
I pretty much love this guy! Great stuff, man.
Thank you Matthew ! You are really helpful !!
yes, that was a good experience that teaches us patience.
I'm beginning to get attracted to him. he resembles Ryan Gosling and Daniel Radcliffe combined.
I love that everyone sees this too omg !
His haircut is Ryan's. His voice and mouth is Daniel's
You know he can read this right?
you are absolutely amazing! I've learned alot from your videos thank you matt.
you are such an amazing person
This was really funny video Matt, tell us more stories like this!
The phone skit was incredible. I enjoyed it so much. His sense of humor is great 🤣
Love the American accent...lol
You gotta apply it all to yourself. You are the research!
thank you for sharing your experience
Yes! Dont be afraid to talk to people, or say what you truly mean.
wow...you're a natural at this conversating thing. I need a lot more examples to steal. Awesome just awesome.
Hahaha I had a similar situation. Some dude came up to me asking to use my phone and I immediately started thinking the same thing: "Is this guy faster than me?" Thankfully he shortly used my phone and gave it back to me no problem.
I am so happy I do not have a smart phone. I have a basic talk and text phone that NO ONE wants to steal.
I just don't have the confidence to approach anyone, but your advice is great. I'll definitely try it!
Ryan Gosling from Crazy Stupid Love
Jazmin Zenteno Agreed ! 👐
Thank you.. Was helpful and straightforward 🌹
That was great Matt!..What a scenario! Loved your pointers.😆😉
Dude, just been a fan of your channel and hope to see more good stuffs.
You're just FANTASTIC!
This is gold thank you
Two words compliments and confidence
probably the most entertaining story I've heard.
This actually helped me form some fundamental ideas about how to start a conversation, or how to make it more interesting at the beginning. I can be very talkative and can talk about more intriguing topics, but I always started a conversation with "hi, how are you?" because I was too terrified to ask something else since I put too many filters into my head so that I could anticipate what the other person may react to my initial words. Therefore, "hi, how are you?" was always the safest option, but it was also very boring and less likely to capture others' attention...
Thank you Matthew your videos are always great: very interesting and helpful! I always watch them twice! haha btw loved the last bit!
I like how your videos are short and sweet
These are really great tips!
Such a great video !
Thank you Matthew. Great advice, as always! :D Because of this video, I realized I small talk in conversations A LOT! I really need to change that. Now I know how. :) Thank you!
You're fantastic!
that american accent was actually perfect lol.
This is good! Thank you
The accent
The retell of the story
This is amazing 😂
Funny and smart. You are awesome.
he is so funny i love the natural humour lol
quite nice simple tips! Kuddos! Thanks Mat!
You are soo adorable! I love watching your videos
Love this.
I laughed so much in this video; my favorite so far :)
You're book is so helpful , thank you ;)
I LOVE THIS!!!!
great information and very important
Omg I love this man! Thxs MAt
He's such a genius in human interactions
Great video !
I like this, great idea thanks for the advice
Helpful and amusing!
Great tips. And I have lots and lots of opinions. Funny, Matthew! Love the end...
Love your video Matt. :)
Your American Accent is awesome! Thank you for the helpful content. 😉
hey matt thanks for the advice, I just moved to the US myself so I will have loads of opportunities to put that technique to a test.
You are amazingggg.
Lol i keep this attitude in my mind " Im so vain , i dont even give a fuck , fabulous is my last name and glitter runs through my veins" =D i suddenly feel like on top of the world like i can contribute to society make others feel magical just you know . Its obvious they feel awkward and i know they feel stupid and the moment and too darn selfconcious to be witty. And that i can just turn the tables crack few jokes ease them up =D give them some things to talk about. I know how terrible it feels to be in situation where you dont know anyone and have nothin to say. And id hate to put anyone in that position. Realizing they are in same shit position kinda relaxes you :DDD
Great advice!
This is great! I love youuuuuuuu
All of this is good knowledge to know.
This was great! Thanks Matt! :-)
Totally hysterical! :D :D :D Maybe cause all said in the video is painfully true. Seriously these videos are my ultimate secret guilty pleasure!
Oh, God! So true. There's so many people who expect you to carry a conversation all the time. Take lessons everyone because there is at least a ratio of 99 shitty conversationists to 1 good one. lol
loved it
Thanks Matthew, this is very helpful. But could you make a video with more examples about how to engage conversation anywhere, being more playful and how to be out of your head ?
I love so much your videos, thank you. :)
thats so true i hate about the whole getting to know u time period i usually forget what they say when those preferences and such is more important to me.