What Makes a Man Suddenly Commit? | Matthew Hussey

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 270

  • @makie2013
    @makie2013 2 года назад +662

    what makes a man commit :
    1. 05:10
    having an exciting vision
    for what a relationship means
    本身要對於長期穩定關係
    有興奮期待的眼光與願景
    2. 06:15
    showing vulnerability
    適度示弱
    3. 06:43
    communicating standards
    建立標準
    4. 07:23
    bringing peaceful energy
    情緒穩定

  • @coolbreeze5683
    @coolbreeze5683 2 года назад +301

    I'm in a long term relationship but still love listening to Matthew's videos. His advice isn't only for dating but applies to human behavior and life in general. He's very wise!

    • @evelynsantiago6562
      @evelynsantiago6562 2 года назад +4

      Same here. Could not agree more 👍🏼

    • @Daniela.Mccaffrey
      @Daniela.Mccaffrey Год назад +1

      true

    • @aprilli5332
      @aprilli5332 11 месяцев назад +1

      Sometimes he said something I couldn't comprehend at the moment but later I worked it out...like....so this is what Matthew was talking about!

  • @stayhappylittlemermaid
    @stayhappylittlemermaid 2 года назад +145

    Be nice and smile to everyone you meet. You don't know what they are going through and they may need that smile and treasure it

    • @Babesinthewood97
      @Babesinthewood97 2 года назад +3

      I agree

    • @skink84
      @skink84 2 года назад

      Some can see something negative even in a try to smile and be nice. Have had some rant about that "sneer" you gave them. Then again, I might not have the greatest smile :)

    • @zenarodriguez23
      @zenarodriguez23 2 года назад +5

      Yes!!!!! A relationship could start with admiration and gratitude

    • @TheRalphie2020
      @TheRalphie2020 2 года назад

      ❤❤❤

    • @higherheights1257
      @higherheights1257 10 месяцев назад

      Will do love that

  • @Babesinthewood97
    @Babesinthewood97 2 года назад +72

    And don’t stay long with individuals who don’t appreciate your effort and kindness. Not everyone understands that just because you are lovely, it comes with the price of returning the effort. It’s not a free for all.

  • @ronzalpha
    @ronzalpha 2 года назад +217

    I absolutely love the fact that this addresses and reassures guys too. I've been in too many dates and flimsy relationships where women are afraid to commit because they always compare me with other guys and immediately hop on to "the next best" any time i show signs of vulnerabilities. Dating apps have ruined courtship. It really sucks but I'm glad I'm not alone

    • @belleccino
      @belleccino 2 года назад +27

      As a woman, I say don’t go looking for love .. focus on you, heal any trauma you have, try to be the partner that you always dream of finding and then love will find you unexpectedly.

    • @nunya5270
      @nunya5270 2 года назад

      @@majrminer IDK what types of women you and men with your mindset are dating but surely we all must take responsibility for who we're choosing to try to date. It's easy to tell if someone is shallow on the first meeting with them. Even in chat. If you're chasing the gorgeous woman all the time, you might expect her to be superficial if she's the type that needs tons of makeup and clothing to accentuate her "beauty". But I suppose that's type of woman that most men seek. If a female is high maintenance, she will likely seek a partner who has money, unless she has her own.
      I'm always seeking men of substance but seem to only have my inboxes and DMs full of men who only are DTF. Yes, women may have a buttload of dudes hitting her up, but all women will be selective due to that. Thus, the men we respond to are the one's were visually attracted to first, then, we chat to find out their personality and what they're looking for. We seek compatibility and we move on quickly to the next if it's not there. It's that simple.
      IDK many women gold digging but I do know it's a plus if a man has a good job and healthy lifestyle. Isn't that what we all want?
      Guys have told me I have "potential" to be their future gf or life partner but then run off with the shiny, hot chick they see. -the issue goes both ways.
      Another example, after becoming pregnant, a woman's personality often changes a bit because of the crazy hormones raging in her body. Men often become frustrated with these changes and unwilling to stay with her to work it out. There's little sense of loyalty in relationships anymore it seems, and it's hard to find someone who is DEDICATED to a LIFETIME of putting in REAL work into the relationship EVEN WHEN YOU NO LONGER WANT TO OR DESIRE TO. Ppl just quit on each other when it gets too hard.
      But do men give up on their career goals when it's too hard? No. Do they stop working on their workout routines when they don't want to? No.
      People need to realize that if they want a relationship to last, they need to put the same amount of dedication into building and maintaining those relationships.
      Sadly, I find that most men are unwilling to be vulnerable enough with a woman, and to face their fears. They're refusing to FEEL and face their past traumas in order to heal. When we heal, we're going to recognize the fake from the real ones.
      Anyway, that's my take on all that.

    • @StyleLessMicks
      @StyleLessMicks 2 года назад +5

      @@belleccino This is a great answer... It is a softer version of the opinion a youtuber (entrepeneurs in cars) has, that you have to chase excellence, especially as a man.

    • @kayleencoward2442
      @kayleencoward2442 2 года назад +1

      Hi Ronzalpha...i feel exactly the same way...lets be friends!

    • @Daniela.Mccaffrey
      @Daniela.Mccaffrey Год назад

      Showing that you are sensitive

  • @vibratac
    @vibratac 2 года назад +250

    Matthew, I married the guy who carefully considered all the variables before he committed and we’re so happy 😊! I had been following your advice for about a year when we started dating and I continued doing things like communicating my standards etc. He still loves to remark with pride about my standards, he just loves it. I plan to continue following your advice forever, even now after he’s fully committed. The part about “peace” is ABSOLUTELY KEY. Your best advice yet. So well said. I let him walk away a few times and even walked away myself, but not with anger, and we still wanted to be together so that made it easy to cross the divide every time. Big ups to you and your brother and congrats on your own relationship success, you clearly earned it!! *smooch*

    • @youyoua988
      @youyoua988 2 года назад +7

      Lucky people that you found each other! I’m dating a nightmare right now, hate having to keep looking for a better match other than trying to fix this one.

    • @slavenanikolova6260
      @slavenanikolova6260 2 года назад +17

      @@youyoua988 Just stop waisting your time with the nightmare guy, give yourself the love, time and attention you need to recover from him and get ready to find yourself a dream guy. 🎶 I know it's easier said than done but if you're too busy fixing someone, you'll be unavailable to look around and notice what's better or if someone cool approaches you you'll be too distracted with the wrong guy to be available for the dude. Good luck 👍

    • @RMB5775
      @RMB5775 Год назад +3

      You will never “fix” anyone. Move on.

    • @nicolewinters
      @nicolewinters Год назад

      Okay is this guy coming back to me or not 😊

    • @morganpageofficial
      @morganpageofficial Год назад

      @vibratac can you share how you communicated your standards and what they were? Ive always given too much of myself in past relationships and now that I've grown into a deeper love for myself and self worth. I have met someone new that I like and would like to do it better than before now. I have definitely learned boundaries at this point in my life but would love your opinion/advice. Thanks.

  • @kimasp7482
    @kimasp7482 2 года назад +30

    It's an amazing feeling when you find someone that just helps keep you grounded without any effort..it just seems to happen and be automatic.

  • @titanimagalasi5139
    @titanimagalasi5139 6 месяцев назад +4

    1. Having an excitement vision of what our relationship will look like.
    2. Showing vulnerability
    3. Communicating standards
    4. Bring them peace

  • @largolagrande
    @largolagrande 2 года назад +50

    These are some of the best and compact advices for an actual healthy relationship I've ever heard in a while.

  • @mellyemerson479
    @mellyemerson479 2 года назад +26

    He melts me I melt him he has driven me
    to absolutely craziness at times but I’ve calmly explained why. At 44 I’ve learned to to this from past relationships. He is a pure gentleman and I’m absolutely sure he has broken a lot of past walls from being hurt in relationships. He is ready to commit because he told me so. I’m ready

  • @voiceactor7951
    @voiceactor7951 Год назад +26

    That moment when you realize you're doing all the right things just with the wrong people...

    • @chaz7604
      @chaz7604 Год назад +1

      Yeah people and their peace drive me a bit up the wall tbf. I always watch out for those who say they want no drama… life is drama. And most of the time they’re looking for a barbie doll in a box. They have all the “crazy” exes… want their peace but don’t bring any to their SO. Shove petroleum on a burning match and let it burn into flames and wonder what the fuck is going on when it explodes…
      There is a masculinity crisis and it’s a shambles. First things first… women are women. We are hormonal. We are emotional. And if you want mystery and allure and desire and passion, as well as loyalty and commitment and stability - recognise that it comes at a fair price and please try and understand the opposite sex. Not repress us so much into a state of zen submission that we end up emotionally exhausted and drained but hide it and die of cancer at 48 cos it had to come out somewhere.
      Being the perfect woman shouldn’t cost you your sanity just for a man who is less than. Oftentimes when women fulfil this ideal role for men, they are often decreasing inside and usually end up being the dude’s therapist or mother. It’s a shocker what lengths people are going to in order to find love.

    • @annemme
      @annemme Год назад +1

      Thank you for sharing. It happened something similar to me, but he's surely an avoidant. It's difficult to bring peace to someone who doesn't the same with you. They are fine with you at the beginning, but it is not sufficient. I was SO proudly vulnerable and he treated me poorly anyway. My exciting vision of sharing with love seemed to be an alien planet to this man. My standards were told but he found his ways to skip them and when we are in love it's not easy to keep boundaries.

  • @gianshant
    @gianshant 2 года назад +113

    Peace and vulnerability can make any type of relationship so deep and meaningful, thanks for sharing with us

  • @maddyG7414
    @maddyG7414 2 года назад +59

    As someone who suddenly committed to my boyfriend after being unsure, I can say that all of these are very accurate. I’ve also been the one hoping for commitment, and I can say that majority of the time, waiting isn’t a good idea.

  • @stayslickwithkit
    @stayslickwithkit 2 года назад +123

    There's 4 simple things a man needs before he decides to commit:
    1) Trust that she's loyal to him and only him.
    2) She brings peace instead of turmoil.
    3) She's a team player.
    4) Good Physical intimacy
    These are VERY powerful if a woman has these things for a man.
    Thanks Matthew, always an inspiration for my channel.

    • @brendakafula7135
      @brendakafula7135 2 года назад +2

      Thanks Mathew looking forward to find one who elf commit

    • @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light
      @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 года назад +1

      They are great tips! Took a screen shot, cheers

    • @stayslickwithkit
      @stayslickwithkit 2 года назад

      @@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light You're welcome!

    • @vylet2292
      @vylet2292 2 года назад +19

      And you can be all these things and it still won't happen if he's not happy with himself.

    • @oemj7147
      @oemj7147 2 года назад +9

      @@vylet2292 It has nothing to do with him not being happy with himself. That's mumbo jumbo. A man doesn't commit when:
      1. He's a player.
      2. He thinks you're not attractive enough to be his girlfriend.... obvious sign being that he doesn't introduce you to friends and family
      3. He believes you are "easy".
      Any other reason will be a made up excuse.

  • @jenniferssbenn8843
    @jenniferssbenn8843 2 года назад +4

    So many are so traumatise from all the narcissist abuse they went through during their seperation. Healing is highly required.

  • @ellisburton8733
    @ellisburton8733 2 года назад +27

    Keep yourself strong, be clear about your boundaries and if someone 'suddenly commits' try not to get carried away. They're gonna have to capable of putting work in to get 'there'. Plus if it turns out they can't, it's way harder to get out if you live together than if you separately. Also beware highly narcissistic people, it will start great and end up mega disasterous.

  • @valentinanocross8677
    @valentinanocross8677 2 года назад +54

    This is exactly what I have been experiencing , so I know this as the truth now about relationships. I didn't master these skills alone or over night. But finally and of course when the other person has done the work makes this possible and stop dating people who aren't in a growth mindset.

    • @janny.p
      @janny.p 2 года назад +4

      Omg, exactly! You hit the nail with the growth mindset

  • @largolagrande
    @largolagrande 2 года назад +296

    One of the problems with Dating is, it's hard to get a know a single person long enough to look for all those things.

    • @seeexy
      @seeexy 2 года назад +3

      that era of human life, thats y where we are.

    • @CrystalSicily
      @CrystalSicily 2 года назад +19

      Stop TEXTING. Start talking!

    • @NicoleElissaLoveCoach
      @NicoleElissaLoveCoach 2 года назад +1

      What makes it stop before it reaches there ?

    • @meriembengana787
      @meriembengana787 2 года назад

      Not if your aware!

    • @youyoua988
      @youyoua988 2 года назад +8

      Exactly!!! They don’t give you enough time to get to know them, they don’t put enough effort so makeup by giving them too much and they still don’t care.

  • @nag8531
    @nag8531 2 года назад +127

    Wow! This video really touched me. I have done all of this but still, my relationship failed. My ex broke up with me out of nowhere and honestly, I have nothing bad to say about him or our relationship. I’m now watching this video because he came back after 2 months of no contact saying he bought some gifts for me. he brought them to my place and we saw each other, he apologized for how he ended things abruptly and said he cares about me and he wanted to show me that and let me know I’m a wonderful and strong woman. I told him he needs to figure out what he wants and what is going on with him and tears came out of his eyes. Honestly, after watching this video I can tell he walked away because of him because he needs to work on himself but I don’t know if he ever will come back :( and just thinking about made me sad and heartbroken because I love him but I do respect his decision.

    • @NicoleElissaLoveCoach
      @NicoleElissaLoveCoach 2 года назад +7

      Much love and blessings I feel this 💛💛

    • @MarjoleinKeijser
      @MarjoleinKeijser 2 года назад +3

      Sending you love and hugs

    • @vhayashi7369
      @vhayashi7369 2 года назад +8

      He sounds like a narcissist. That's what they do and I've experienced it with my ex husband left me cold with babies. It hurts.

    • @asnoopy
      @asnoopy Год назад +1

      Nah, he doesn't deserve you.

    • @hej2800
      @hej2800 Год назад +5

      late love bombing. make sure you have a support system independent of her m

  • @user-lk9jp1nt4h
    @user-lk9jp1nt4h 2 месяца назад +16

    Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

    • @AndrianaGomes-l6k
      @AndrianaGomes-l6k 2 месяца назад +1

      It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.

    • @user-lk9jp1nt4h
      @user-lk9jp1nt4h 2 месяца назад

      Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

    • @AndrianaGomes-l6k
      @AndrianaGomes-l6k 2 месяца назад

      His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @AndrianaGomes-l6k
      @AndrianaGomes-l6k 2 месяца назад

      he is father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.

    • @user-lk9jp1nt4h
      @user-lk9jp1nt4h 2 месяца назад

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive

  • @adrianamanta291
    @adrianamanta291 2 года назад +86

    When I see my dating app full of messages I don’t get excited I actually get tired..:)

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 года назад

      Adriana Manta. Why you get tired.?

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 года назад

      Adriana Manta. Good morning. Have a great day.

    • @autumnhood672
      @autumnhood672 8 месяцев назад +3

      Same!! It takes so much energy 😅

    • @bl7817
      @bl7817 6 месяцев назад

      @@ramparkash2318 you've already exhausted me.

    • @bl7817
      @bl7817 2 месяца назад

      @@ramparkash2318 guys like you.

  • @Piggy255
    @Piggy255 Год назад +1

    This video is so true!
    My bf had been single for four years. He want his next relationship to become the last one. In his single seasons, he dated some girls but never got into a relationship.
    Until he met me. We have these four qualities in our relationship. We officially dating after a month you met. He give me his phone location, password. Show is love everyday.

  • @dianesalisbury2
    @dianesalisbury2 Год назад

    Since my divorce 8 years ago that casual hook up, friends with benefits relationships are all I seem to be running into. It's been a huge problem for me. So in the meam time I've been working on my internal happiness and focusing in on what I really need and want to be happy and I realized that what your talking about is what I've been trying to get to. I'm not openly searching for anyone right now, but I feel that if somebody comes along that is open for something deeper, I'm ready! Not perfect, not looking for perfect..., just more secure with me and how I can verbalize, communicate, and work together as a pair.

  • @minjeongkim7163
    @minjeongkim7163 10 месяцев назад +2

    I hope everyone here find the one🙏

  • @thesacredprofaneco
    @thesacredprofaneco 2 года назад +12

    Seeking peace is something women want as well

  • @thelanguageofthebirds
    @thelanguageofthebirds 2 года назад +1

    The dopamine cycle doesn’t work for me anymore. I have adhd and dopamine is never going to be enough. It took 3 decades for me to understand that dopamine/impulsive reward of the sensory/neurological brain path. The last year I have come far to see these dopamine cycles are a dead end. Oh as I wrote that, you mentioned the part of people who are sick of the cycle. Bless. I’m here for it :)

  • @MyvMeow
    @MyvMeow 2 года назад +19

    Picking up quickly that the guy I was dating was dismissive avoidant, I made a point to keep everything peaceful and conflict/drama-free in our interactions, especially so when he was the first to be vulnerable with me and I soothed him after the fact. Although, it was difficult creating an exciting vision for the relationship when we were both homebodies and I worried that talking too much of a future together so early on would scare him away. Communicating standards didn't happen much either, as he seemed to naturally have all the same ones as I did. That is, until he ended things over text 2 and a half months in, during a time when it felt like things had seemingly been going really well between us. He blamed it on an external life change (which seems in line with what's said here about not being able to blame it on me due to only bringing him peace) but when I gave him the benefit of the doubt (against my better judgment, I guess) and opted to leave the door open for the future, I never got a response. He really seemed like a perfect match for me before that. Oh well.

    • @arighttobeheard
      @arighttobeheard 2 года назад +6

      Better is on the way, he was wonderful, but not 'the one', he's coming and you'll be glad the old one made space for him 💜

    • @nancyinthegarden3160
      @nancyinthegarden3160 2 года назад +1

      You stated he was dismissive avoidant and it seems to me that’s why he broke it off. It was too much for him to handle that he might be becoming attached bc that’s the worst arrangement. They do not relate well so it may have literally scared him. My husband does this when he’s feeling close. It’s obvious now but wasn’t back when our children were little.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад

      Most men don’t commit easily, specially if they’re young. They are like peacocks looking on how to attract as many women as they can. They are mostly inmature and don’t have a need to commit. Too many free women around… if you can get the milk for free, why buy the cow mentality. Moral standards and life principles too low nowadays. Men mostly mature and look for commitment after 38 or so… Be well
      And blessings from above.

    • @Mayfloweralways
      @Mayfloweralways Год назад +1

      Being a bit older now, I can honestly say that all this analysis of a person’s personality and attachment style is pointless. Most people will raise the bar for someone they truly are attracted to and respect I’m a terribly disorganized person. My boyfriend isn’t. I’ve been inspired to really see the beauty in things and presenting things at their best. He DID not want to feel like he was losing his independence and didn’t see himself getting serious. But he has. We just spent the holidays at each others family’s. It’s two very different examples of how habits and feelings change when you just approach things with the idea that honesty, respect, and yes, some chemistry are all you really need to worry about. Plenty of wrong guys will leave, but the right one will stay.

    • @sansadrake4133
      @sansadrake4133 Год назад

      @@Mayfloweralways yeah his fears outweighed what he felt for op. But when it's the other way around as in feelings are stronger than the fears, it can be overcome

  • @rartinderkaur3499
    @rartinderkaur3499 2 года назад +7

    Hi Sir ... Absolutely grt and appreciation for the subject matter . You must see the reward of relationship is not what you get ,but who you become in the process .It's an act of service to bring your whole self to the relationship with the expressions of all the -ve thoughts and feelings inside you .This is a trust to a man that's a greater gift where you choose to no longer see through the lens of insecurities instead allow him to create the best version of himself .Honour sovernity in the relationship everyday single day ,it open the path to happiness that inspire each other that makes them whole and complete with strength and faults .Thanks Sir for Everything .Much Care and Regards 💝

  • @nataliasivova
    @nataliasivova 2 года назад +7

    I want to say with all of my heart BIG THANKs to you.. I randomly came across your video in here a couple of days before and instantly i fell into your big and warm heart with which you present your stories and into your enormous amount of wisdom and broadmindness..I can't stop watching your videos now because they give me so much power and the feeling of calmness and hope in this such a wild world, you literally heal my soul with your word, so you are definately doing a great job, may God bless you:)

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 года назад +1

      Natalia Sivova. Ur words are so soothing.

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 года назад

      Natalia Sivova..Ur saying absolutely right. I'm agree with your words. Really beautiful viedo nice content nd sweet voice. .

  • @kylevanderross37
    @kylevanderross37 2 года назад +16

    I recently had to face this addiction in myself when my gf found a dating app on my phone. I didn't care about meeting anyone or engaging in cheating. I just enjoyed the dopamine of the options and vanity of the likes.
    Seeing how much that affected her and realizing that she meant more than that instant gratification really knocked me down a peg. Still doing my utmost to gain her trust back completely but she's absolutely worth it.

    • @bmastro4009
      @bmastro4009 2 года назад

      Your ego and lack of discipline needs to addressed 1.

    • @lnaph
      @lnaph 2 года назад +2

      Give her full access total transparency if you want to regain her trust or that distrust will never be dealt with.

  • @lizclarke-hippsley2166
    @lizclarke-hippsley2166 2 года назад +14

    I’ve been with my man 6 weeks. We are both in our 40’s. He has committed recently but as we get older we know sooner what we want and what is real. He was the one that wanted the commitment public-ally xxx

  • @alexburokiene7483
    @alexburokiene7483 2 года назад +7

    Sometime.. most of the time people come just for that peace… leaving us drained…. So hard to find someone those 4 points apply to.. thank you.. lots of love ❤️💕❤️

    • @strictlyonvacation8860
      @strictlyonvacation8860 2 года назад

      This is so true! I try to give as much safe space and peace as possible to this guy I’m currently dating, and he said “I can be myself around you.”
      But the moment I showed my vulnerabilities, he started pushing me around.😅😅
      Is he the only one allowed to be himself in this relationship and I’m not…???

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад

      That peace has to be felt by both of you. It’s about sharing equally.

  • @ms.steveygolden1118
    @ms.steveygolden1118 4 месяца назад

    I believe we are all in limbo ~ no matter what!! Partnership does NOT mean what it used to.

  • @gabrielaraimondo2430
    @gabrielaraimondo2430 2 года назад +11

    Well me with my boyfriend had peace... he even told me I gave him peace! But he did whatever with our relationship... deceived me, lied to me and started coming in and out... I got hurt and angry Yesss and I put a limit to our relationship... Now it looks he would like to come back but I don't see him changed... really... unless he opens his heart again to me and stops listening to his toxic friends and family... I won't go back... He needs to grow up... I thought I was with a man now I realize he is a child...😞 so now I'll see what he comes up with next...
    I really love him but I'm not his mother... And he's stubborn anyway because we have talked about these things...

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад

      It seems you’re stuck! No good. Call it quits! No need to struggle for no one. Show that fellow you have dignity, which counts above all. Blessings from above.

  • @rechellebogle2465
    @rechellebogle2465 2 года назад +22

    I have been doing this for years, having a trusting relationship, doing fun things, showing my standards, and being peaceful without drama. I hit roadblocks or get ghosted. I don’t get it. I’m not as vulnerable about past relationships and my hardships, because it’s in the past. I always believed, I can’t change the past so move on to today. Who wants to talk about past relationships, I try to enjoy the day and time now. What am I doing wrong here? I am getting to the point that I don’t trust that anyone will stay.

    • @TheBestOfLisaRenee
      @TheBestOfLisaRenee 2 года назад +6

      Being vulnerable doesn’t necessarily mean you need to share past experiences. There are other ways of making oneself vulnerable, but honestly I believe the problem is with the culture through television programming and social media. People are not grounded and are unable to truly connect to others as they should. It’s a sin problem.

    • @astrogirllll
      @astrogirllll 2 года назад +3

      It’s them, not you. You’re doing great

  • @literallyjen
    @literallyjen 2 года назад +14

    Men are like cabs.. when they're available, their light goes on and the next woman they meet, they'll commit. It's about timing.

  • @adrianamanta291
    @adrianamanta291 Год назад +1

    It can also be a 3rd person who is scared to be alone or lives in fears and base his decisions on fears ..all those negative thoughts that makes that person rush into it

  • @nathangatchalian
    @nathangatchalian 2 года назад +12

    Is it weird that I'm a guy and I relate to so much of this? I stumbled upon your channel because I was going through a rough patch. Thanks so much for all the insights and thoughts.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад +3

      Feelings of love and commitment in a relationship are asexual. They’re neutral, it applies to both genders.

  • @irinaifraimova4327
    @irinaifraimova4327 2 года назад +3

    How are you today my friends I hope you have a great day today and I hope you feeling much better and I hope you have a good health no more sickness

  • @javanesemystic
    @javanesemystic 2 года назад +16

    Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼
    I didn't realise it was so easy (except for the setting boundaries part that makes me nervous haha). I have shown symptoms of Asperger's (i have never had a long-term boyfriend before) so videos like this are very helpful. Have a beautiful weekend 🤍🤍⚡🌟💫✨

  • @MizzSweetTe
    @MizzSweetTe Год назад +1

    I dating someone now, it’s been 7 months and he waiting on that “feeling” to overtake him before he commits 🤷🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️

  • @Natures_Heart-BEATS
    @Natures_Heart-BEATS 2 года назад +21

    I’m writing notes to learn my habits!!

  • @finallysmile
    @finallysmile 2 года назад +5

    How do you communicate the first step - having an exciting vision - to someone you are not yet commited with? Like how does that work in practice. One thing is having it, another is showing it without it being ... sales-like?

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад +1

      My dear, without commitment how could there be a vision for the future? If a guy does not commit after 2 or 3 years, never mind, time to have a serious conversation. If no commitment, time to quit. They’re plainly not interested in you seriously. Quitting time. Harsh but true. Blessings from above..

    • @lnaph
      @lnaph 2 года назад

      Just tell t4hm what you envision that 4elatio shipt o look like... jot eith them, but with that guy who will be right for you one day. Its okay to share your vision

  • @excelself
    @excelself 2 года назад +2

    Cos they lost their purpose.
    “Are you going thru a hard time or are you depressed” Jordan b Peterson
    It’s true I once lost my purpose and now I got it back but back then I really thought I had nothing to live for since a lot of men don’t see themselves as something it live for.

  • @RebeccaKristenSongs
    @RebeccaKristenSongs Год назад

    Omgosh Matthew you’re such a genius on the dopamine cycles. So real

  • @jenniferknippenberg9554
    @jenniferknippenberg9554 2 года назад

    Holy shnikies matt! I just went through that calming "argument " recently. It really is different when there is no reason other than yourself when deciding to stay or to leave. I do not think he was expecting that. Screaming and yelling, yes. Calm exceptance of someone's truth, nope.

  • @deec411
    @deec411 2 года назад +4

    I’d love to give someone special “a soft place to fall” as Dr Phil says 😉 and I want someone to do the same for me ❤️

  • @hgfw9295
    @hgfw9295 2 года назад +10

    Personally I'm not in a limbo. I dated to marry so this is what I'm having. However. I know many many people who struggle with a limbo stage. I think this guide will be mostly needed in the modern dating scene.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад

      Good, you have a purpose, if not, why date someone? Blessings from above.

  • @vesnavukadinovic
    @vesnavukadinovic 2 года назад +1

    Dear Mathew, I did listen but didnt hear any of your advices, on the other side you are excellent when it comes to trouble with sleaping. Lovely voice

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 года назад

      Vesna Vukadinovic. You are saying absolutely right.i.m agree with your words.

  • @faizahanif9515
    @faizahanif9515 2 года назад +4

    A woman can't really bring the peace into a relationship if it was not something she was getting from her surroundings and parents. Most angry women have faced a great deal in life. So guys need to understand this instead of making it a marker for not committing.

  • @bettywinn8296
    @bettywinn8296 2 года назад +9

    This is an amazing reading. Thank you!
    I just wrote down all 4 things you said. I really needed this advice. Perfect timing. This is my first time checking out your video. So much "wisdom." Women need to know what you just shared. You're the man! Great info!❤️

  • @juliaskagfjord6207
    @juliaskagfjord6207 Год назад +3

    Can I ask a question? Is that passion of falling in intense love something related to younger people like 20s and up to 35 or so, and then 35 and over is when you become more cerebral and practical in your love choices? Just wondering if this is a thing as I notice in myself as being older, I refuse to fall for a guy just because he is hot as I am seeking a deeper mental compatiblity at the outset and not driven by animal lust

  • @ana-mariagodja5221
    @ana-mariagodja5221 2 года назад +1

    Dear Mattew, your videos and advice have helped me a lot in the last period to understand myself and men better! thank you very much!

  • @justagurl555
    @justagurl555 2 года назад +1

    I’ve been listening to you for years Matt. I’m still single💋

  • @anitaclarke9957
    @anitaclarke9957 Год назад

    Absolutely dead on,,,your delivery is extremely accurate,,,thank you!😎

  • @MochiColorsZanos
    @MochiColorsZanos 2 года назад +3

    Bringing someone peace: This is where it can be a problem. And I think for most women. Lots of times we ask for certain things in a discussion or argument and we ask nicely or it starts off as a mature conversation. However, when the other person is acting dismissive or making one feel crazy for thinking a certain way or just not taking one's feelings into consideration, it can escalate.

  • @maryborrego4981
    @maryborrego4981 Год назад

    I want to hear about on line dating? How and when to meet ? There are some out here that need to hear this Thank you Matthew enjoy your videos but don't apply to me 😊

  • @lorriemccourt
    @lorriemccourt Год назад

    Thank you so much for the 🎁 gift 💝

  • @aariel2234
    @aariel2234 Год назад

    💕❤️💕 I can't thank you enough for this video and your guide. You've changed my life!!! Thank you!!!❤❤❤

  • @Kmahersh01
    @Kmahersh01 3 месяца назад

    I was all those things. I finally left because he couldn’t commit after 4.5 years together. I’m done with dating. It’s a total waste of life.

  • @amiramahgoub
    @amiramahgoub Год назад

    "Why I'm falling to the same 🕳! Am I an idiot?" That what I said to myself when I watched the video " why he keep disappearing " over and over again. Nope, I'm tired now falling in love and be loved again. It sucks my life dry!! Now Matt tell me bec I do not have a experience about relationships. The only think that I learned about these toxic relationships helped me to believe that I fell into the same trap in the past and. I fear 😱 to do the same mistake again.

    • @amiramahgoub
      @amiramahgoub Год назад

      Well, that was 3 months ago. But truly I have been struggling in this area for long time. I stuck between 2 men and at the end after all the fights and figuring out the truth I have to decide by my own which side I wanna stand with. It has been one year Matthew when I commit to the one who hold my hand first.

  • @helenzielasek1812
    @helenzielasek1812 2 года назад

    IT IS so helpful Mat I think I have found Someone... I Just feel Peace with and I could Love in a Long Term. 🌸💛 Thank you for sharing such depth Insights. I Love your Postcast. IT makes me grow in a couple of months. Thank you

  • @vaganzani
    @vaganzani Год назад +1

    Matt and Steve, thank you for this thought provoking content. I like the concepts and thoughts which were shared in the video. There is a depth, wisdom and different ways of thinking in looking at how we can be the person who we are looking for. Thank you Steven and Matt

  • @dubravKA1111
    @dubravKA1111 Год назад

    Thank you so much. No 2 is big one ( for me). Not easy...

  • @SliceofCheeze
    @SliceofCheeze 2 года назад +15

    it's true, as a guy this will definitely make me commit, but I've been burned way too many times in relationships that I'm tired of trusting, not sure how to fix that even though it's a new girl

    • @mellasike98
      @mellasike98 2 года назад +2

      You did nothing wrong. It does hurt when you put your trust on someone you have grown to care for deeply. but we have to accept the fact that we can't control people's mind, thoughts and actions, we can only control ours, so when others do wrong, out of our expectations, it'stheir own choice. Remember that expectation leads to disappointment, so don't expect too much from anyone. Just be yourself and if they did not appreciate your loyalty and love you shown, let them go, it just means they aren't for you. When wrong things happens, see it as a good thing so you can let go of that person in order for the right one to come. There is someone for everyone. let go of the past and know that not everyone is the same. You have to let go of the past in order to move on to the future if you really want to have a brighter one. The right one that is compatible for you will come in it's time. No matter what, never blame yourself or blame others for someone else's mistake.

    • @gabrielaraimondo2430
      @gabrielaraimondo2430 2 года назад +9

      The key is trusting again... We ALL have been deceived but we have to keep believing...❤

    • @susanharris5416
      @susanharris5416 2 года назад +2

      Sorry to hear that, I think it would be important to remember that the new girl is not the last girl.
      I'm in a wonderful new relationship after my divorce and sometimes he is shocked that I want to get married again. My answer is always the same " Every man is not the same"
      Happy dating

    • @juliekrol
      @juliekrol 2 года назад +1

      Wipe every slate clean. If you hold on to past hurts, you’ll end up hurting someone that wouldn’t have hurt you, and the cycle will continue 😊

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад

      Your heart and soul will tell you which one is the right one to commit with. And do some homework: same values, same principles, dignity, same vision , brings you joy , love and peace? That’s the one!!! Blessings from above

  • @tejaswinimahesh1211
    @tejaswinimahesh1211 2 года назад +1

    Matthew can you do a series for married or engaged people or divorcees. This may be slightly more challenging I suppose because family is involved.
    Is microflirting detrimental to marriage? It may cause serious insecurity....

  • @BarbaraMarch444
    @BarbaraMarch444 2 года назад +1

    Thank you Matthew, you have amazing advices and videos, thanks for all that you share 🙏✨♡🥰

  • @lifewithlexy7081
    @lifewithlexy7081 2 года назад +1

    Anyone here who has advice for dating the 'sober' committed man. Because the relationship has felt sober for 6 months. Moments of connection. And it almost feels like I need to push for the next level. Its commitment but it's not like we know if this is a commitment we want for long term

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад +1

      You should have a conversation with the sober man … if he agrees and commit, fine. If not, move on… at least you’ll know his true intentions.

  • @hedychan23
    @hedychan23 2 года назад +2

    I just say goodbye to a guy we met on the dating app for almost a year because I feel he doesn’t want to invest in me every since he told me he met in person with a girl he met a little before me and I feel I can’t stand anymore ,hearing him saying he likes her and she flew to America from Taiwan ( same I’m Taiwanese ) for him I doubt then why he matched me and put me in this situation,we even had gifts exchanged sort of things seems it could be real but since he won’t and doesn’t want to do the quarantine in the pandemic I smell his narcissistic somehow that’s why I think we probably won’t have any opportunity to meet so I decided to wake up from this dream. Hurt so bad
    Ps. I knew he texted multiple girls at the time we met too.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад +2

      Congratulations! You did the right thing. Plenty of fish in the ocean to waste your time with someone who doesn’t care abt you. God bless.

  • @judithpool8177
    @judithpool8177 Месяц назад

    Beautyfull . Sooo cristalclear and to the point.❤

  • @ramparkash2318
    @ramparkash2318 2 года назад

    Matthew another awesome video from you. Beautiful see to watch. Keep it up.

  • @unawalsh5486
    @unawalsh5486 2 года назад +3

    Hugely insightful and so eloquently expressed. Thank you Matthew for sharing thèse nuggets !!

  • @VI0LET101
    @VI0LET101 2 года назад +2

    I needed this so much. Thank you.

  • @sushmasinha8054
    @sushmasinha8054 2 года назад +1

    I was in middle of my chemistry exam , same day in-laws came , I gave them sweets ,then they selected me, but the groom didn’t see till after marriage (1979 arrange marriage)

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад

      How awful! Sorry for you. This kind of customs should be vanished!!!

  • @kiwaochelli
    @kiwaochelli 2 года назад +1

    I fuckin love you Matthew. You communicate in such a good way, I love your videos. Keep up the good work! 👍🏽

  • @laureece3861
    @laureece3861 2 года назад

    Thank you Matthew. Very helpful video.

  • @kathleenouellette7202
    @kathleenouellette7202 2 года назад +1

    Thank you, this is perfect timing!

  • @carmelabguanzon4514
    @carmelabguanzon4514 2 года назад +1

    Hi Matt
    God bless you always
    Hopefully if you can answer my questions
    It’s okay to fall in love to the Yang men than me like 20 years gaps
    Can you please answer me🙏

  • @FlyingDressStThomas
    @FlyingDressStThomas 2 года назад +2

    Very true!!!! Thank you for making this video!

  • @carmelapatricellorca7783
    @carmelapatricellorca7783 2 года назад +1

    Just wondering if you have any advise regarding Online LDR (since COVID happened). How do I get out of this situationship? We've been talking for almost a year now (he initially connected with me because he is travelling to my country) but has delayed his trip departure.
    disclaimer:
    We met in FetLife (if you're familiar) and we've been mutually...discreet-ish with our particular details..
    Hope you see this.. I've been a fan for 3 years now! :)

  • @mollywright9782
    @mollywright9782 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for this video it has really helped
    Me!! ❤️❤️

  • @kaye436
    @kaye436 2 года назад

    Where are your cushions from please? They're beautiful x

  • @nazaninhoushmast4390
    @nazaninhoushmast4390 2 года назад +1

    You are one of the kind mentor 🙏💛💛💛

  • @TheAttractionTriggers
    @TheAttractionTriggers Год назад +1

    *What makes a man commit is often rooted in a deep emotional connection and alignment of values and life goals.*

  • @ioanamaria46
    @ioanamaria46 Месяц назад

    What are we doing with avoidants that disappear?

  • @irinaifraimova4327
    @irinaifraimova4327 2 года назад +3

    God bless you have a good blessing over your life how amazing blessings stay healthy be healthy have good mind good heart good love good job good body healthy Praying for my friends lives longs times
    Praying for irina ifraimova lives longs times

  • @lindsayhartman7135
    @lindsayhartman7135 2 года назад +26

    The culture has us addicted to the dopamine cycle.

  • @mzSte
    @mzSte Год назад +2

    Points start at 5:13
    Thank me later

  • @amratakaithwar8179
    @amratakaithwar8179 2 года назад

    Thanks to you and your brother 😍

  • @higherheights1257
    @higherheights1257 10 месяцев назад

    I just got out of a relationship that was messed up in terms of the kind of culture

  • @Between_thelines_____270
    @Between_thelines_____270 2 года назад

    At the end of that cycle! Come find me ☀️

  • @judithilen
    @judithilen Год назад

    such an angel

  • @Account-br9kc
    @Account-br9kc Год назад +1

    I highly disagree with point on peacefulness, it gives off alpha male strategies forcing women to be submissive type of vibe. You should always be who you are and never act. Peaceful relation is two way street always!

  • @michealanthony2706
    @michealanthony2706 2 года назад +3

    U great guy dude matthew

  • @livelaughlove6387
    @livelaughlove6387 2 года назад

    It may be a "new guide" but if you have other material from Matt the guide isn't anything new at all. It's the same info he has in other downloads.

  • @Emily-ne8zf
    @Emily-ne8zf 2 года назад +1

    It's such an inspiring video thank you sir 😊
    May i ask sir, can you make a video of having insecurity with boyfriend going out every weekend? Long story short, I've been dating with this guy for over a year now and it's Long distance relationship! our relationship is the most amazing, beautiful, incredible for both of us and recently all of a sudden his been going out for parties every weekend and when he calls me or face time his love, care still the same but then again i feel a little insecure about it and his like 'its boys night' but then when he post on Instagram/ Facebook there's always girls involved. So I am bit confused 😐

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 года назад +3

      Emily, just plainly, drop him! He’s not serious abt you. Plenty of fish in the ocean. Blessings

  • @katsaysyes
    @katsaysyes 2 года назад +3

    Don’t laugh but a way that I feel vulnerable around people is too pretend I’m naked 😝

  • @ranginijeyatharan6665
    @ranginijeyatharan6665 2 года назад

    Thank you for the good advice

  • @heat.seeker
    @heat.seeker 3 месяца назад

    Fucking BROADCAST that point 4. I will move heaven and earth for a woman who can just fucking communicate and bring peace. Teaching women to fucking meditate should be on every school's syllabus.

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 2 месяца назад

      "Teaching women to f---k--g meditate...." Sounds like you're bringing chaos and anger to the party. Guys, you DESTROY any peace a woman is foolish enough to bring to you.

  • @susane945
    @susane945 2 года назад

    I think the world is just full of really jaded, hurt, broken people, and also jerks who just want to be players, and treat women like crap. If he won't commit it just means he's not worth your time. Move on!