If a girlfriend, spouse, or close friend lies to me, we're done. It's easy - tell the truth. If you have to lie we're not as close as I thought we were. That's not a perspective - that's straight from the Bible. If you don't believe it, that's on you.
Lying to hide your mistakes will just destroy your own personality. You’ll never try to improve yourself if you’re always get away by lying. If you ever wonder why filipinos don’t trust each other, this is the answer. Society too gets destroyed by this behavior.
I've always been known as a "Brutally Honest person". Most of my enemies in life even say so. It's Not an easy path but one I would Never trade in. It's not that I never lie as I can get an academy award when I do. But i reserve those joyous times for when I do romantic gestures, pranks and surprises. It's so rewarding :)
Speaking as someone who used to be a habitual liar, I can say that the damage a lie does is far more damage when the lie is discovered versus the truth. Telling the truth can be painful however it is liberating. All lying erodes trust. It would be painful to know that your spouse or partner doesn't trust you enough to tell the truth. If there is fear of telling the truth, there is some emotional damage from the past that needs to be dealt with.
It is possible to be truthful without being hurtful. I love these videos. Makes me laugh to think of western women when they refer to Filipinas as being less educated. Obviously they are not watching your videos Shay! Everyone of these ladies are wonderfully intelligent and philosophical. Capable of meaningful dialogue. Thank you.
This is a beautiful video again in your own style! You two really have a unique way of telling a story, and we are so lucky to be able to see your creations while the channel is growing. Keep experimenting and using your gifts! We appreciate everything you are doing! Soon you will be too big to answer our comments, so we are lucky to be here in the beginning! Thank you LWS!
Thank you so much Al for all of your support and encouragement! We appreciate all that you and our patrons do to help us create the content we do! I will always answer your comments. It might be late, but I will answer :-)
Such profound thoughts on this subject, which really has not been covered in a blog before. I really liked the other ladies thoughts on this topic. This was just one of the best videos I've seen. Thank you so much for covering this subject.
I'm an American from Hawaii. I'm in the Philippines now spending time with my fiance. She tends to lie to me about twice a day, usually about something trivial. Her lies only occasionally cover up a truth I would be upset about, maybe once every couple months. While the truth would rarely upset me, the lies always do. If you are in a relationship with an American, they will have difficulty trusting you about the big things, if you constantly lie about the small ones. At this point in my relationship, I am at an impass. While I love my fiance, but I am not sure I will be able to spend my life with someone whose words don't hold weight to me. I have some difficult decisions to make over the next few months. :(
We all lie, correct. But, we shouldn't lie at all...if you don't want to lie, don't say anything and try to be truthful instead of lying and expect others to speak truth ... save face is bullshit... being truthful is the best policy. Instead of making excuses to keep lying...
I would rather raw honesty over any kind of lies. If your willing to lie about any small issue that proves to me you will definitely lie about bigger issue.
Shay: It is fantastic that you cover this topic with such grace and respect. This doesn't give people a reason to lie, but gives them the understanding that reasons people actually do tell un truths, and why. Your videos are fantastically edited, planned out, and articulated for the audience to understand and enjoy. Keep up the fantastic work! You are doing a wonderful job on your channel.
Outstanding video. As humans, we are flawed. This video discusses one of our flaws in a very thoughtful manner. Consider this ... as a 77 year old foreigner, I learned a great deal from these Filipina ladies.
Ladies, I am a western man, I have been lied to all my life and I detest it. I personally try very had not to lie, if forced into a corner I prefer to stay nothing. If someone does something I don’t like and when I ask them and they tell the truth I maybe angry for a little while but I will try to understand and move on. But if I’m lied to and find out (which I will) I will be very upset and may or may not get over it and it will take something away from the relationship. If you lie to me about the little things how could I possibly trust you about the really important things? Little lies build up more and more until they are unsurmountable and destroy everything. I can only speak for western men, but we have learned by cruel example to look for and be very wary of little lies and this force us to look for the big one’s even if they not there. We are men, if we are doing something wrong or embarrassing tell us, we will try to fix it, we want to please and protect you, to make you feel happy and safe. If you don’t we will just blunder on. If I were in a relationship, a Filipino lady, and she constantly lied to me about little things, it would put the immense strain our relationship.
Thank you for putting together this video. A couple of suggestions that i have found helpful: - Do not use the truth to hurt someone. The sweet truth is enough. - To speak the truth does not mean we need to say everything we know on a subject.
Avoiding reality by using lies is never acceptable. You do nothing beneficial for yourself or those you mislead. Never trust those who lie, never lie to those who trust.
A quick observation: How can pinays expect to find someone who will respect them and be trustworthy when they themselves can not raise to that level? Liars never respect the people they lie to. Lie to me and I'll ghost you. Liars are not even worth a reply. Liars are responsible for putting that anchor around their neck. Their excuses are just more lies. Honest people have no use for liars. "Thou shall not bear false witness."
It’s not wise to lie, especially about children. I consider that a character flaw. It also screams desperation. I would leave once I found out she was hiding her children.
Great job Shay and others. I liked the part about how simple to tell the truth and how difficult to architect a lie initially. There is also the stress of living with ourselves knowing we have not told the truth and what if someone finds out. I also believe that one little lie can lead to more to cover the initial one. Harboring lies opens us up to unhealthy opinions of ourselves, low self-esteem, or even worse to self-harming actions like addictions. It is so freeing not to have to worry someone will find out our secret. 🙂
Thank you Perry! So glad that you understood that point. As we point out, lying causes one to strategize, while telling the truth does not need thought.
Lying to spare the feelings of others is not a bad thing. Sometimes we all have to do that. But trying to be more honest is a worthwhile goal. Terrific video Shay...have a great weekend 🌷
Truly exceptional vid Shay. Love the way the ladies being genuinely honest that they do or have lied. It diffinately take a better person to admit, then not too. Maybe as we all know, sometimes its is the easy way out. Though through commitment, trust, repect, loyalty and love, we can build foundations to feel we dont have to lie, especially to keep our partners, parent and or friend at ease. Your circle of friends, the ladies are beautiful, intelligent and i see that throughout your vids. Great work Shay Cheers 😊❤😉
Thank you, Glenn! It's truly remarkable that you've been a subscriber for such a considerable time, consistently showing appreciation for our content, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the topic. I sincerely appreciate your ongoing support.
Hi Shay. I very much enjoyed this long awaited video on a subject that is very complicated. For me, so many lies are rooted in fear, which in turn, are often rooted in insecurity. Personally, it was a major factor in the break up of my relationship with a filipina here in Canada. I just could not wrap my head around the thought of her not being able to trust me enough to be honest with me. In short, I took it as an insult to my character. I look forward to your next video, as always. They are always so well done and thoughtful. Take care.
@@reflections_with_Shay Children of the American baby boomer generations were always taught that a woman who lies about the smallest things will lie about anything. And if a woman will lie, then she will cheat. I was an interview and interrogator specialist and Reid Instructor. My brain is trained to automatically catch information, deduce it, and figure out its accuracy for the people who need it. So when my Filipina lies, it hurts me. However, I decided at one point to ignore it after realizing it was about not having food, not eating, not having money, or that the university decided to not call her back to complete her doctorate. I know it was difficult on her. It's all she'd have to say and I would have stopped pushing her. It's just a different type of lying in the Philippines. It's a lying of omission to make things look or appear better than the situation is. Filipinas who are cheating have a certain change in their communication patterns. I assume it's the stress of keeping a secret. However, I rather just be told the honest truth. If my girl is hurting. I'd rather hurt and be shamed with her than keep be giving reasons to doubt what is being said. Everyone is entitled to one big, but reasonable, F$ck up.
There is a difference between a lIe and a LIE. "Does this dress make me look fat?" Versus "are you cheating on me". One the answer may necessitate a lie to prevent hurt feelings. The other is unforgivable. If guilty of something then own up to it.
"I am cheating on you because you look fat in that dress!" Sounds like you are telling her that she is fat. Most women will never hear the dress part... Hahaha!
Each of you has an insight into the complications of lies. It it challengeing to ALWAYS be truthfull. Situational ethics can come into play. Example: If you knew that someone was going to harm your child, would you tell them where the child is if they asked you? 100% NO Peace & Love to all of the beautiful ladies!😊
Wednesday, October 25, 2023 ☁⛅☁ I searched for quotations about lying, and I like this one the best! 👨🌾 "Lies don't fix things. They don't even make things easier, at least not in the long run. Best to tell the truth and then clean up an honest mess." ~ ~ P.C. Kast and Kristin Cast This is the first I have seen the names P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast. I have no clue who they are, but I admire their wisdom. 😀 Shay, here is a little help with your English. This is a quotation. Most people say, "I read a quote," which is wrong. Quote is a verb. Quotation is a noun. You quote a quotation. Even journalists and news presenters say, "Here is a quote." When they should say, "Here is a quotation." My dad taught me this when I was 6 years old. It's weird that adults don't know this part of English. And Shay, your English is excellent and you have such a sweet, beautiful voice. 😀 Happy Autumn to everyone! 🍁🍂🌻🌻🌻🌾🐿🌾🌳
Wow this was a great heart felt video, and to lie is a out to offend and to hide your feelings, is different to understand but now I do understand thank you everyone for you views on Shay's channel inspiring and my heart go out to you all, I feel that you don't want too but it's a way to keep the peace as well amazing women thank you and Mary there's people here in Australia that love everything about you, keep smiling girls be happy and safe cheers from us central Queensland Australia 🇦🇺 will hope to meet you next year when we visit to look at retiring there,
I’m going to the Philippines next year hoping to find a partner but now I’m beginning to think that I’m better off not going.Through a traumatic childhood experience I’ve always had a problem telling a lie,I’ve been told that I’m too honest but that’s how I am,it’s always less stressful for me to tell the truth.Now if someone tells me the simplest of lies, I will never fully believe or trust them again because I know that if they can tell me one lie then the next lies become easier. All the lies that they tell is probably why so many people have trust issues because they think that their partner is doing it to them too.From experience,the hardest people to accept the truth is the person who is always lying and doesn’t know how to tell the truth. Thanks for the advice and information
This video topic is deep, and I found all of your answers to be very virtuous because you were not lying to gain something. the lie was to hide something that you were not proud of. We all have things we are not happy about, but when you find a partner who is not bothered by those tiny things, you can feel safe to tell them anything🙂💯
I have been visiting the Philippines since 2003. In that time I have learned that sometimes it is beneficial to think about what you say instead of just blurting it out like we do in the US. There is a sensitivity in a Filipina that you will not find in most women in the West. It can be hard. But, never, never raise your voice and show blatant anger to a Filipina because she will never ever forget what just took place. Honesty is a good policy. However, if you want honesty then you need trust that being honest with your friend or partner will not end the relationship. Otherwise, they will say nothing or cover up their feelings.
Yesss I agree, I made the mistake of raising my voice (although I did not realise it at the time) and that caused immeasurable strife. Reality is that many "westerners" will never truly fit in with the Philippine ways
I have to admit to telling white lies so I don’t hurt others with my opinions, or to hiding saying things that might trigger others. I actually am a very pointed and blunt person, telling my honest opinion. My wish is to tell the honest feelings I have and my interactions with others telling me their honest feelings in return. Honesty is the best policy which builds the foundations of trust and a deeper level of connection on a private level. Hope my comments help others understand better how to help others to understand how to know them on a deeper level. Best always, Steven
Yes Steven! All comments add to the conversation that we are trying to have with our supporters and viewers. There are many ways to speak to each other, and I am proud of the way you all communicate with us, and this community. Thank you Steven for your thoughtful comments!
Aloha Shay, Great video. A little lie ( Not to hurt someone) I think is ok. Like Mary I've said I'm fine when I wasn't. That was not to worry anyone. I'm used to dealing with it myself....God bless 🫰
Lying is not good. It's better to hurt people with the truth, than to make them feel good with lies. We should also confess that we have lied, and forgive those who lied about us an to us. We should let God work through us everyday of our lives. We should strive to be gracious, mercyful, forgiving, meek, and compassionate.
As men and women are getting t0 know each other a man must let the women know and feel Comfortable talking to him and being Honest as the man must feel the same way that's what we as men and women must Achieve ❤😊
I want a partner to be honest and upfront in a relationship it's better to to be honest if you lie it has to be covered up by another lie before you know it you can't get out of lying. So please be honest your partner if truly a real partner shouldn't get upset at all and you both be able to work it out. So please don't lie okay Truth will set you free remember that
Trying to be honest about being a liar is a good first step to stop, sadly many people lie like rugs as a way of life and can't live any other way they think.
Not mater how damaging the truth is. It still has to be sail. And a person can only lose his or her credibility once. Furthermore you can never get it back.
I don't lie...much. I joke constantly and mess with people. If someone asks me if they look fat in an outfit... I am probably going to find something that is flattering about the outfit. However... a FWB person told me last April that I was too fat. So I lost 50 pounds. Something I needed to hear. Wasn't hurtful...I appreciated the comment. But I can say I have never cheated or lied (significant) in a romantic relationship. I have done things like lie about what we are doing so it's a fun surprise. I might lie about how much something cost that I gave her as a gift. Obviously other examples as well.
They don't jail the lier or execute him either, he did not do it. It is the honest people that words get taken out of context. When asked did you say that? The honest person is then the guilty. It will all come clean in the laundry!
Great video and very well produced as always. But can we believe it? 😂 For the most part I never lie (occasional exception: “no, you don’t look fat in that dress baby”) because then I never have to remember what I’ve said … it’s always the truth.
Well, the Professor wrote it, so yes, we can believe it Basil Hahaha!... No, he always does his research and approaches ideas objectively, not subjectively, or emotionally. I learned this as well. :-)
Telling the truth is Hard Especially when you are wrong, get caught, it embarrasses you. Lying to protect someone you love? In the context of a relationship? Is usually, do you really love me? Are you with me for a better life? Did you cheat? Misled me about this person? Justifying Nor telling the truth? No excuse
@@reflections_with_Shay Yes. But on the other hand..we also have to be better, more accepting of the hard truths. Because too many people are more comfortable with soft lies over hard truths. But soft lies, white lies is still deception and deception is the death of everything good we can build with each other
There is a saying about marriage if you do it right the first time you won't have to do it again ,lying to each other is the most detrimental thing that destroys a relationship,small white lies grow into large black ones in time
I’ve been watching your channel for a while now. I have a Lotta respect for you and the other girls. But just because a woman is polite, it doesn’t give her the right to assume that she hast to keep certain things away from her partner, thinking that he might not understand when that might be far from the truth, you should always give your partner the benefit of the doubt and be truthful. That’s where true love is measured.
Telling lies is dishonesty, FULL STOP !! Especially telling lies to a partner, because once they find out. Once trust is broken , there will ALWAYS be further questions and doubts, so there can be no relationship. There can't be lies and dishonesty in a relationship. From my experience, I got scammed a few times by Filipinas who deliberately lied to get money. I hope that one day I will find a honest one.
Shay, this was a very interesting and inciteful video. But I do have a question: you note in the beginning that it was "written" by Prof. Ron and directed by you. So, I guess that raises a question -- are the words you are speaking yours, or Prof. Ron's? Are these your insights or his? Or perhaps a combination of the two? It is OK either way, but I was curious. So, let us know - and don't lie!😂
I appreciate your curiosity. To clarify, the content of the video is a collaborative effort, and it always has been for a year now. We've worked together to create a well-rounded and informative piece, combining our expertise and perspectives to deliver the content effectively. Your curiosity is greatly appreciated!
"Lying" verses "withholding information". Is it the same? To "tell the truth and nothing but the truth" may not be appropriate, safe, respectful or whatever in a given moment. (Unless you're on trail in a court of law.) Example: Not everyone needs to know your financial status; To alleviate worry from love ones, perhaps we don't disclose all of our problems; etc. Right or wrong, I'm not here to judge. Either way, the answer will reveal itself sooner or later. Great topic. It was well presented and "truthfully" discussed. By-the-way, I knew you were rich, Shay! (Just kidding!) 😁
Mostly your kinda justifying lies. In a relationship this is a certain way to destroy everything. Maybe this is the biggest divide between westerners and Filipinas. Kinda sad to hear its very acceptable
We're not justifying, but offering different viewpoints. One of my favorite books is the one Gladys mentions - "Lying," by Sam Harris. But there is also reality, and we on this channel are exploring it. Thank you :-)
OK prof Ron , Mike , ect now you have it on tape haha ..Lying is not cultural .... But I believe that one should be honest with partner regardless of what your reasons .. Eventually it becomes a trust issue ...its called respect for the other not protecting your own feelings out of fear ...
Of course lies are not exclusive to philipinos , but I have met many people who are ruthlessly honest , even when to most people it makes no sense to be that honest . So let's not pretend everyone lies .
Hello Ladies, Your correct Everyone Lies! I was Married only Once and I lied when I said "I'm happy", that was a partly miss truth😔I didn't feel bad about that because I Love my Children and then my life, which my world came Crashing Down when I had to end my marriage😢, I lost my Musical Dreams when I married but I was more concerned with my marriage and my Children, when I had to get a divorce because my Ex continuously was cheating and as a Father & a Man I couldn't put up with it anymore😠
Thank you Timothy for your openly honest comment. We do think cheating is the worst lie in a relationship because you are not just cheating one person. You are cheating two. Rather than cheat, it's better to just be honest, and move on. :-)
Not only lie but deceive. I’m afraid I can’t believe anything my wife says. She tells me things that she has no intention of doing, lies when she doesn’t have to??? I’m an Australian and our culture is very straightforward, we respect the truth. I can understand you not wanting conflict in your relationship but in my case I have never raised my voice to my wife. I want to hear her out, what her concerns are etc.
all these women are justifying their lies to "save face". that is selfish, and disrespectful to your partner...period. all these women should come clean to their partners for what they did before you damage someone else's soul
shay one lie tends to lead to another lie in the past i have been lied to by partners and my birth family when the truth came out it hurt me very badly i have learnt from many years on this planet lying causes more damage than telling the truth ever did. even if somebody hurts me by telling the truth i have a lot more respect for them lying is cowardly...🤔🤔🤔
To lie is not common around the world. I do not lie, hate lies , if u can lie then u can cheat and steal.... Sorry but will not tolerate lies in my relationship
Lying is a universal fact. As we said at the very beginning, "All human beings lie..." at some point. But how we deal with lying is a personal reflection of ones own virtuosity.
It is true. It's so hard for me to lie when I was a kid but then I realized that you have to lie sometimes to be MATURE, ugh. I still, slip a lot of times and get really hurtful stares from people when I was just tellibg the truth. I dunno, I feel more comfortable with cultures like the Spanish and other western cultures when they tell you to your face even the bad things about you. I don't feel ashamed now telling the truth. To hell with you whether you like me or not
I read a lot of different opinions in the comments. In the end it’s whose standards are we to measure to? Gods or man’s? Lying is never ok. Lying loses face. As for in relationships, nowhere does it say to lie to your partner in any scripture of any faith or religion. All relationships have conflict. That’s why it is necessary NOT to lie. Conflict, no matter how difficult it is at times, promotes a strong healthy relationship because part of conflict is forgiveness and acceptance. Which those two promote growth in the relationship. Lying is a very selfish thing. That destroys the growth needed in relationships. Lying also takes more energy and numbs the spirit to evil which will in turn destroy a relationship. Whether it be “white lies” or serious ones it’s wrong. Lying destroys the soul in a way which cannot be healed. The wound it creates festers and gets infected. It will never heal properly which in turn broods a cesspool of hatred. Hatred then becomes violent after it is built up so much. Telling the truth takes significantly less energy and is healthier because the stress levels go down. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts, that’s life. But the truth doesn’t leave poison in the wound like lying does. With no poison or infection in the wound, the wound, then can heal properly and forgiveness and acceptance can truly be given. For the women how would you feel if you ask your spouse did he cheat on you, only for him to lie and say no, then when you catch him and say “you lied to me, you are cheating” only for him to say “it’s ok if I lied to you because I’m allowed to!” You tell me women, how is that scenario gunna play out for you? Oh this lie is ok and this one isn’t? Lying to your partner is cheating on them. Because you placed your selfish needs above them and God…
@@reflections_with_Shay ty Shay… I know many might disagree but that’s why we must communicate in an effective logical manner, like civil beings, regardless of our country, beliefs, culture or convictions… that’s what separates us from animals. This unique ability to do so
I am sorry, but I am just not buying the reasoning here. Since this is a catholic country, let's start with Leviticus, 'You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; you shall not lie to one another.' And while we are here, even though I am neither catholic or religious: 'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour' when addressing the gossiping that is so rampant. Ok, that aside, the absolute core foundation of any relationship, work, business, personal, etc is trust. Once a lie is put out there, that trust is broken, subconsciously or overtly once it is discovered. Once a lie or lying behavior is discovered twice, the relationship is forever damaged and true / 100% trust will almost never be restored. For me, if someone is so weak inside that they are concerned about whether telling someone the truth will upset or hurt them, then they either need to find a better way to express themselves or remove themselves from my life until they become stronger. Don't use truth as a weapon, but use it for the greater and higher good vs taking the 'easy' way out. Of course, we then need to ask ourselves if saying something is even necessary in the first place. So save your face or lose your heart, soul, and trust of a person you care about. Very few lies are white. Most are brown, because they stink.
It is true. It's so hard for me to lie when I was a kid but then I realized that you have to lie sometimes to be MATURE, ugh. I still, slip a lot of times and get really hurtful stares from people when I was just tellibg the truth. I dunno, I feel more comfortable with cultures like the Spanish and other western cultures when they tell you to your face even the bad things about you. I don't feel ashamed now telling the truth. To hell with you whether you like me or not
Really good video! I really respect the thoughts and opinions of everyone in this video. But these thoughts and opinions were formed growing up in a society that accepts lying as a means to save face or keep from hurting someone's feelings. I think there is a stronger inclination to do so in the Filipino culture. As you stated, lying occurs in all cultures, just in varying degrees. Most of us lie with the intention of saving face or not hurting another's feelings. Those from Western countries commenting here that they do not lie or have never lied - 99% of them are full of shit. Parents lie to their children. Oh no - that shot isn't going to hurt. That medicine won't taste bad. Yes there is an Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and tooth fairy. Yes that breakfast in bed you made for me when you were 7 and burnt everything tasted great. All little white lies we tell them to make them feel happy. We tell them to our family members and close friends for the same reasons. You tell your wife/girlfriend the new recipe she just cooked for you was delicious even if it sucked. You tell her her new outfit look good even though she may look like a clown to you. Possibly the difference between the East and the West is that generally the Western culture starts teaching the kids earlier on that lying is not OK - especially when it comes to safety, legal matters, and daily interactions. I am curious do Filipino parents allow or discourage lying to their children, even though they may do so themselves? Of course, not telling any lies is the best policy, but many people feel compelled to tell the little white lies. Being 100% truthful would be verging on a perfect society - but we will never achieve that as humans. I would never be mad at my significant other if she told me I looked good even though I might be fat. Why? Because if I am fat, then realistically I am lying to myself and should never have put a person in that uncomfortable situation to have to answer a question that already has an honest answer. It doesn't help when we are fed lies everyday by our governments. media, and people in positions that should be trusted. If anyone wants to tell me this is not true then you are either a lair or a fool. I would only encourage Filipinas who are looking for a mate or already have one to be as honest as possible. Your relationship will be better for it. If the guy does not want kids then he will not pursue you - but guess what - the guy who does not mind accepting your kids will come along and you will be a better match. Take care Shay!! Sorry I rambled on - LOL
The Bible says a lie is very false witness against your neighbor if I remember right I took two witnesses to get someone put to death. Being kind to people in sparing their feelings is not a lie
I don’t think you should say everybody lies! That’s a false statement. I’m scared to lie because I think it will bring me harm if I do ! The only problem is is that a lot of people can’t handle the truth nowadays!!!!😢❤
You are right we all lying on occasion I’m really sorry about that 🙏 but that’s just one of many reasons we need JESUS 🙏🙏🙏 just another one of your videos that cause us to look inwardly thank you so much miss shay 🙏🙏🙏 GOD BLESS 🙏🙏🙏
Thats how i lie too.white lies... Cuz i dont want my partner worried about my personal stuffs esp with my family.esp when it comes to financial. Everything u said is 100√ ❤😊
It is rather cultural no matter how many people will say it isn't. We, Filipinos have this trait not to burden the other person. This is a trait that is really hard to fathom for visitors, but only Filipinos can understand.
Hello Mary. This video was based on a question posed many times by viewers. We presented our answer in the first sentence: "All human beings lie." Thank you for your comment.
If a girlfriend, spouse, or close friend lies to me, we're done. It's easy - tell the truth. If you have to lie we're not as close as I thought we were. That's not a perspective - that's straight from the Bible. If you don't believe it, that's on you.
Lying to hide your mistakes will just destroy your own personality. You’ll never try to improve yourself if you’re always get away by lying. If you ever wonder why filipinos don’t trust each other, this is the answer. Society too gets destroyed by this behavior.
This looks intriguing. I wouldn't be able to watch the premier sadly, but I'll look forward to watching just as soon as I can.
You can watch whenever you have time Chris! :-)
I've always been known as a "Brutally Honest person". Most of my enemies in life even say so. It's Not an easy path but one I would Never trade in. It's not that I never lie as I can get an academy award when I do. But i reserve those joyous times for when I do romantic gestures, pranks and surprises. It's so rewarding :)
A lie is still a lie Steve, but yes, maybe sometimes they can be fun fibs :-)
Speaking as someone who used to be a habitual liar, I can say that the damage a lie does is far more damage when the lie is discovered versus the truth. Telling the truth can be painful however it is liberating. All lying erodes trust. It would be painful to know that your spouse or partner doesn't trust you enough to tell the truth. If there is fear of telling the truth, there is some emotional damage from the past that needs to be dealt with.
It is possible to be truthful without being hurtful. I love these videos. Makes me laugh to think of western women when they refer to Filipinas as being less educated. Obviously they are not watching your videos Shay! Everyone of these ladies are wonderfully intelligent and philosophical. Capable of meaningful dialogue. Thank you.
Thank you so much for complimenting all the women in this video! They are all very intelligent :-)
I hate lies.Be open and straight forward.
This is a beautiful video again in your own style! You two really have a unique way of telling a story, and we are so lucky to be able to see your creations while the channel is growing. Keep experimenting and using your gifts! We appreciate everything you are doing! Soon you will be too big to answer our comments, so we are lucky to be here in the beginning! Thank you LWS!
Thank you so much Al for all of your support and encouragement! We appreciate all that you and our patrons do to help us create the content we do! I will always answer your comments. It might be late, but I will answer :-)
Such profound thoughts on this subject, which really has not been covered in a blog before. I really liked the other ladies thoughts on this topic. This was just one of the best videos I've seen. Thank you so much for covering this subject.
Thank you so much Kent! We put a lot into this video, and shout out to our guests who participated! They were wonderful. So glad you enjoyed it!
I'm an American from Hawaii. I'm in the Philippines now spending time with my fiance. She tends to lie to me about twice a day, usually about something trivial. Her lies only occasionally cover up a truth I would be upset about, maybe once every couple months. While the truth would rarely upset me, the lies always do.
If you are in a relationship with an American, they will have difficulty trusting you about the big things, if you constantly lie about the small ones. At this point in my relationship, I am at an impass. While I love my fiance, but I am not sure I will be able to spend my life with someone whose words don't hold weight to me. I have some difficult decisions to make over the next few months. :(
Very in depth, you took that topic serious... Well done my lady.
Thank you Rob. Yes, we did Rob :-)
This is inexcusable. These are individuals not to be trusted.
Thank you Shay, for this heartfelt video from yourself and all of your friends it was so touching.
We all lie, correct. But, we shouldn't lie at all...if you don't want to lie, don't say anything and try to be truthful instead of lying and expect others to speak truth ... save face is bullshit... being truthful is the best policy. Instead of making excuses to keep lying...
I would rather raw honesty over any kind of lies. If your willing to lie about any small issue that proves to me you will definitely lie about bigger issue.
Thanks for your comment Chris
@Life_WithShay your very welcome Shay,have a wonderful day over there in your beautiful country
Lying and cheating goes hand in hand.lying has destroy families and friends.there’s no justifying that bad habit
Shay:
It is fantastic that you cover this topic with such grace and respect. This doesn't give people a reason to lie, but gives them the understanding that reasons people actually do tell un truths, and why.
Your videos are fantastically edited, planned out, and articulated for the audience to understand and enjoy. Keep up the fantastic work! You are doing a wonderful job on your channel.
Thank you so much Crazykid! Prof. Ron and I work " honest" magic together :-)
What a great video and an eye-opening topic, thank you so much for sharing. 🙂👍👍👍🙏
You are so welcome Joe! So happy you enjoyed it!
Outstanding video. As humans, we are flawed. This video discusses one of our flaws in a very thoughtful manner. Consider this ... as a 77 year old foreigner, I learned a great deal from these Filipina ladies.
That is such a beautiful comment rjb! :-)
Ladies, I am a western man, I have been lied to all my life and I detest it. I personally try very had not to lie, if forced into a corner I prefer to stay nothing. If someone does something I don’t like and when I ask them and they tell the truth I maybe angry for a little while but I will try to understand and move on. But if I’m lied to and find out (which I will) I will be very upset and may or may not get over it and it will take something away from the relationship. If you lie to me about the little things how could I possibly trust you about the really important things? Little lies build up more and more until they are unsurmountable and destroy everything. I can only speak for western men, but we have learned by cruel example to look for and be very wary of little lies and this force us to look for the big one’s even if they not there. We are men, if we are doing something wrong or embarrassing tell us, we will try to fix it, we want to please and protect you, to make you feel happy and safe. If you don’t we will just blunder on. If I were in a relationship, a Filipino lady, and she constantly lied to me about little things, it would put the immense strain our relationship.
Thank you for putting together this video. A couple of suggestions that i have found helpful:
- Do not use the truth to hurt someone. The sweet truth is enough.
- To speak the truth does not mean we need to say everything we know on a subject.
I appreciate your comment rainforestview. Thank you for taking time to watch this video.
Perfect love casts out all fear. And the two shall BECOME one flesh. Both of these run counter to lying.
Good point!
Nice concept, Shay -- colabbing with all these Filipina vloggers. How do you ladies feel when you are lied to?
Thank you for that question.
Avoiding reality by using lies is never acceptable. You do nothing beneficial for yourself or those you mislead. Never trust those who lie, never lie to those who trust.
shout out to ismi as she clearly understands the problem but seems to be above the fray in terms of deeming this behavior as acceptable.
Thank you Robert! :-)
A quick observation: How can pinays expect to find someone who will respect them and be trustworthy when they themselves can not raise to that level?
Liars never respect the people they lie to. Lie to me and I'll ghost you. Liars are not even worth a reply. Liars are responsible for putting that anchor around their neck.
Their excuses are just more lies. Honest people have no use for liars.
"Thou shall not bear false witness."
Good points right there.
I agree, lying has its consequences, just ask my x Filipino girlfriend how she kept lying and i left her!
It’s not wise to lie, especially about children. I consider that a character flaw. It also screams desperation. I would leave once I found out she was hiding her children.
Having children isn't something anyone has to be ashamed of. And yes, I can't fathom why some would hide their children.
Great job Shay and others. I liked the part about how simple to tell the truth and how difficult to architect a lie initially. There is also the stress of living with ourselves knowing we have not told the truth and what if someone finds out. I also believe that one little lie can lead to more to cover the initial one. Harboring lies opens us up to unhealthy opinions of ourselves, low self-esteem, or even worse to self-harming actions like addictions. It is so freeing not to have to worry someone will find out our secret. 🙂
Thank you Perry! So glad that you understood that point. As we point out, lying causes one to strategize, while telling the truth does not need thought.
Well done Shay!❤
Shay great video on a TRUTH that we all have had to face about ourselves
Thank you Michael!
Very interesting vlog this one. Some good insight here.
Thank you, Michael.
If you lie? Trust is gone.
Exactly Joseph!
I agree not only trust but you as well
Sent this to my Filipina to let her know that I want to give her the freedom to talk openly without judgement.
Wow! Good for you Rob! The last part is the most important, because you trust her...
Tak!
Thank you Rene!
This video contributed to a sad start to the day for me, my wife told me once..." telling the truth does not make what you did ok"
She is correct. But at least you can be honest about it and try not to do it again. Accountability and responsibility is important as well.
@@reflections_with_Shay yesss 100percent, always better to be honest to others and ourselves.
Lying to spare the feelings of others is not a bad thing. Sometimes we all have to do that. But trying to be more honest is a worthwhile goal. Terrific video Shay...have a great weekend 🌷
Thank you Bruce!
Truly exceptional vid Shay.
Love the way the ladies being genuinely honest that they do or have lied.
It diffinately take a better person to admit, then not too.
Maybe as we all know, sometimes its is the easy way out.
Though through commitment, trust, repect, loyalty and love, we can build foundations to feel we dont have to lie, especially to keep our partners, parent and or friend at ease.
Your circle of friends, the ladies are beautiful, intelligent and i see that throughout your vids.
Great work Shay
Cheers 😊❤😉
Thank you, Glenn! It's truly remarkable that you've been a subscriber for such a considerable time, consistently showing appreciation for our content, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the topic. I sincerely appreciate your ongoing support.
@Life_WithShay welcome always, I appreciate your contents Shay, have a great day, regards to your daughters, hope all is well there😉😊
I don't like to lie bcuz it almost always brings more lies to cover up your original lie. It can turn into a snowball effect. Lie after lie.
Hi Shay. I very much enjoyed this long awaited video on a subject that is very complicated. For me, so many lies are rooted in fear, which in turn, are often rooted in insecurity. Personally, it was a major factor in the break up of my relationship with a filipina here in Canada. I just could not wrap my head around the thought of her not being able to trust me enough to be honest with me. In short, I took it as an insult to my character. I look forward to your next video, as always. They are always so well done and thoughtful. Take care.
Thank you appreciating this video Dave, although it's a topic that I consider sensitive.
@@reflections_with_Shay Children of the American baby boomer generations were always taught that a woman who lies about the smallest things will lie about anything. And if a woman will lie, then she will cheat. I was an interview and interrogator specialist and Reid Instructor. My brain is trained to automatically catch information, deduce it, and figure out its accuracy for the people who need it. So when my Filipina lies, it hurts me. However, I decided at one point to ignore it after realizing it was about not having food, not eating, not having money, or that the university decided to not call her back to complete her doctorate. I know it was difficult on her. It's all she'd have to say and I would have stopped pushing her. It's just a different type of lying in the Philippines. It's a lying of omission to make things look or appear better than the situation is. Filipinas who are cheating have a certain change in their communication patterns. I assume it's the stress of keeping a secret. However, I rather just be told the honest truth. If my girl is hurting. I'd rather hurt and be shamed with her than keep be giving reasons to doubt what is being said. Everyone is entitled to one big, but reasonable, F$ck up.
Take care and God bless you 🙏 😊
There is a difference between a lIe and a LIE. "Does this dress make me look fat?" Versus "are you cheating on me". One the answer may necessitate a lie to prevent hurt feelings. The other is unforgivable. If guilty of something then own up to it.
"I am cheating on you because you look fat in that dress!" Sounds like you are telling her that she is fat. Most women will never hear the dress part... Hahaha!
This is very good video and informative, well done.
Thank you so much Charles!
Each of you has an insight into the complications of lies. It it challengeing to ALWAYS be truthfull. Situational ethics can come into play. Example: If you knew that someone was going to harm your child, would you tell them where the child is if they asked you?
100% NO
Peace & Love to all of the beautiful ladies!😊
Thank you so much Brian for such a thoughtful comment! :-)
How do you know if a politician is lying? Their lips are moving. 🤣🤣
I do think there is a difference between lying/being dishonest, and being discreet.
Absolutely the context of the lie is everything... Hunny do I look fat in this dress?
Yes, there is a difference Ben. Both are still lies, just different degrees. :-)
Be careful Rob! Hahaha!
Wednesday, October 25, 2023 ☁⛅☁
I searched for quotations about lying, and I like this one the best! 👨🌾
"Lies don't fix things. They don't even make things easier, at least not in the long run. Best to tell the truth and then clean up an honest mess."
~ ~ P.C. Kast and Kristin Cast
This is the first I have seen the names P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast. I have no clue who they are, but I admire their wisdom. 😀
Shay, here is a little help with your English. This is a quotation. Most people say, "I read a quote," which is wrong. Quote is a verb. Quotation is a noun. You quote a quotation.
Even journalists and news presenters say, "Here is a quote." When they should say, "Here is a quotation."
My dad taught me this when I was 6 years old. It's weird that adults don't know this part of English.
And Shay, your English is excellent and you have such a sweet, beautiful voice. 😀
Happy Autumn to everyone! 🍁🍂🌻🌻🌻🌾🐿🌾🌳
Thank you for your comment! :-)
Wow this was a great heart felt video, and to lie is a out to offend and to hide your feelings, is different to understand but now I do understand thank you everyone for you views on Shay's channel inspiring and my heart go out to you all, I feel that you don't want too but it's a way to keep the peace as well amazing women thank you and Mary there's people here in Australia that love everything about you, keep smiling girls be happy and safe cheers from us central Queensland Australia 🇦🇺 will hope to meet you next year when we visit to look at retiring there,
Thank you so much Jenny for such a thoughtful comment! We will be here when you visit :-)
I’m going to the Philippines next year hoping to find a partner but now I’m beginning to think that I’m better off not going.Through a traumatic childhood experience I’ve always had a problem telling a lie,I’ve been told that I’m too honest but that’s how I am,it’s always less stressful for me to tell the truth.Now if someone tells me the simplest of lies, I will never fully believe or trust them again because I know that if they can tell me one lie then the next lies become easier. All the lies that they tell is probably why so many people have trust issues because they think that their partner is doing it to them too.From experience,the hardest people to accept the truth is the person who is always lying and doesn’t know how to tell the truth.
Thanks for the advice and information
Thank you for your very thoughtful and honest comment Jeff! Better to live with trust than with hiding behind lies.
Honesty is the best policy. People can have a difference of opinion. That is OK and normal. There is no excuse to lie.
We agree Roy! Thank you for your comment!
This video topic is deep, and I found all of your answers to be very virtuous because you were not lying to gain something. the lie was to hide something that you were not proud of.
We all have things we are not happy about, but when you find a partner who is not bothered by those tiny things, you can feel safe to tell them anything🙂💯
This is very true David. I know my partner is virtuous because he just wrote it :-)
I have been visiting the Philippines since 2003. In that time I have learned that sometimes it is beneficial to think about what you say instead of just blurting it out like we do in the US. There is a sensitivity in a Filipina that you will not find in most women in the West. It can be hard. But, never, never raise your voice and show blatant anger to a Filipina because she will never ever forget what just took place. Honesty is a good policy. However, if you want honesty then you need trust that being honest with your friend or partner will not end the relationship. Otherwise, they will say nothing or cover up their feelings.
Thank you for this very thoughtful and wise comment! Yes, it's all about trust! :-)
Yesss I agree, I made the mistake of raising my voice (although I did not realise it at the time) and that caused immeasurable strife. Reality is that many "westerners" will never truly fit in with the Philippine ways
I have to admit to telling white lies so I don’t hurt others with my opinions, or to hiding saying things that might trigger others. I actually am a very pointed and blunt person, telling my honest opinion. My wish is to tell the honest feelings I have and my interactions with others telling me their honest feelings in return. Honesty is the best policy which builds the foundations of trust and a deeper level of connection on a private level. Hope my comments help others understand better how to help others to understand how to know them on a deeper level. Best always, Steven
Yes Steven! All comments add to the conversation that we are trying to have with our supporters and viewers. There are many ways to speak to each other, and I am proud of the way you all communicate with us, and this community. Thank you Steven for your thoughtful comments!
Aloha Shay, Great video. A little lie ( Not to hurt someone) I think is ok. Like Mary I've said I'm fine when I wasn't. That was not to worry anyone. I'm used to dealing with it myself....God bless 🫰
How do we measure when a little lie becomes too big LIP? :-)
To me Shay if it's not a malicious lie and say like I said if someone asked how are you and you say fine and your not. God bless 🫰
Why isn't this manipulation? You are trying to control the feelings and actions of others.
Lying is not good. It's better to hurt people with the truth, than to make them feel good with lies. We should also confess that we have lied, and forgive those who lied about us an to us. We should let God work through us everyday of our lives. We should strive to be gracious, mercyful, forgiving, meek, and compassionate.
As men and women are getting t0 know each other a man must let the women know and feel Comfortable talking to him and being Honest as the man must feel the same way that's what we as men and women must Achieve ❤😊
We agree with that Ervin. Better to build trust through honesty. :-)
Sometimes you lie to keep from hurting someone's feelings. I've done that a few times. Sometimes I don't have the heart to be honest and hurt someone
I can understand that. Thank you for watching this video George.
I want a partner to be honest and upfront in a relationship it's better to to be honest if you lie it has to be covered up by another lie before you know it you can't get out of lying. So please be honest your partner if truly a real partner shouldn't get upset at all and you both be able to work it out. So please don't lie okay Truth will set you free remember that
We agree with you Giovanni! It's actually much easier to tell the truth, we only think it isn't. Telling the truth requires no strategizing :-)
@@reflections_with_Shay so where in Philippines you find a awesome wonderful woman like this
Very interesting and informative Shay...well done. 👍🏾
Thank you so much!
Boom, this video blew up, Shay. 🙌🏼🤗
:-)
An older man I knew would always answer the same when people would see him and ask how he's doing. "No Complaints" he would say.
That is his truth - he does not want to complain. :-)
Trying to be honest about being a liar is a good first step to stop, sadly many people lie like rugs as a way of life and can't live any other way they think.
To grow is to change :-)
Not mater how damaging the truth is. It still has to be sail. And a person can only lose his or her credibility once. Furthermore you can never get it back.
Yes Robert. Once you lose credibility, it is very difficult to get it back. It takes so much work to prove yourself again. Better to just be honest.
I don't lie...much. I joke constantly and mess with people. If someone asks me if they look fat in an outfit... I am probably going to find something that is flattering about the outfit. However... a FWB person told me last April that I was too fat. So I lost 50 pounds. Something I needed to hear. Wasn't hurtful...I appreciated the comment. But I can say I have never cheated or lied (significant) in a romantic relationship. I have done things like lie about what we are doing so it's a fun surprise. I might lie about how much something cost that I gave her as a gift. Obviously other examples as well.
Lies, half truths and omited details... Yes- cause for concern. But when you find one in the Goldilocks zone. Bang. On.
Great video
Glad you enjoyed it!
They don't jail the lier or execute him either, he did not do it. It is the honest people that words get taken out of context. When asked did you say that? The honest person is then the guilty. It will all come clean in the laundry!
Great video and very well produced as always.
But can we believe it? 😂
For the most part I never lie (occasional exception: “no, you don’t look fat in that dress baby”) because then I never have to remember what I’ve said … it’s always the truth.
Well, the Professor wrote it, so yes, we can believe it Basil Hahaha!... No, he always does his research and approaches ideas objectively, not subjectively, or emotionally. I learned this as well. :-)
The only real flaw is the culture of TELLING PORKIES as easy as breathing. There is no kind relationship without mutual trust as the base.
little white lies are acceptable aslong as the intent isn't to cause harm or injury
All opinions accepted Grimberian :-)
That’s makes sense
Telling the truth is Hard
Especially when you are wrong, get caught, it embarrasses you.
Lying to protect someone you love?
In the context of a relationship? Is usually, do you really love me?
Are you with me for a better life?
Did you cheat? Misled me about this person?
Justifying Nor telling the truth?
No excuse
Agreed, truthfulness is the best.
@@reflections_with_Shay
Yes. But on the other hand..we also have to be better, more accepting of the hard truths. Because too many people are more comfortable with soft lies over hard truths. But soft lies, white lies is still deception and deception is the death of everything good we can build with each other
There is a saying about marriage if you do it right the first time you won't have to do it again ,lying to each other is the most detrimental thing that destroys a relationship,small white lies grow into large black ones in time
Agreed on that.
I’ve been watching your channel for a while now. I have a Lotta respect for you and the other girls. But just because a woman is polite, it doesn’t give her the right to assume that she hast to keep certain things away from her partner, thinking that he might not understand when that might be far from the truth, you should always give your partner the benefit of the doubt and be truthful. That’s where true love is measured.
We appreciate your comment Franco!
Stay true and strong always. And you are quite welcome Shay🌹
If I tell you I always tell the truth
A good trait to have Lane.
Great video and editing, Not Lying :D
Thank you! We believe you 😁
Telling lies is dishonesty, FULL STOP !!
Especially telling lies to a partner, because once they find out. Once trust is broken , there will ALWAYS be further questions and doubts, so there can be no relationship. There can't be lies and dishonesty in a relationship.
From my experience, I got scammed a few times by Filipinas who deliberately lied to get money. I hope that one day I will find a honest one.
JUST TELL THE TRUTH, YOU GET RESPECT THIS WAY.
Shay, this was a very interesting and inciteful video. But I do have a question: you note in the beginning that it was "written" by Prof. Ron and directed by you. So, I guess that raises a question -- are the words you are speaking yours, or Prof. Ron's? Are these your insights or his? Or perhaps a combination of the two? It is OK either way, but I was curious. So, let us know - and don't lie!😂
I appreciate your curiosity. To clarify, the content of the video is a collaborative effort, and it always has been for a year now. We've worked together to create a well-rounded and informative piece, combining our expertise and perspectives to deliver the content effectively. Your curiosity is greatly appreciated!
"Lying" verses "withholding information". Is it the same? To "tell the truth and nothing but the truth" may not be appropriate, safe, respectful or whatever in a given moment. (Unless you're on trail in a court of law.) Example: Not everyone needs to know your financial status; To alleviate worry from love ones, perhaps we don't disclose all of our problems; etc. Right or wrong, I'm not here to judge. Either way, the answer will reveal itself sooner or later. Great topic. It was well presented and "truthfully" discussed. By-the-way, I knew you were rich, Shay! (Just kidding!) 😁
Hahahahha. I wish Charles. Only rich with compassion and kindness to others. :-)
Mostly your kinda justifying lies. In a relationship this is a certain way to destroy everything. Maybe this is the biggest divide between westerners and Filipinas. Kinda sad to hear its very acceptable
We're not justifying, but offering different viewpoints. One of my favorite books is the one Gladys mentions - "Lying," by Sam Harris. But there is also reality, and we on this channel are exploring it. Thank you :-)
Just dont lie period!
They trying to justify this
OK prof Ron , Mike , ect now you have it on tape haha ..Lying is not cultural .... But I believe that one should be honest with partner regardless of what your reasons .. Eventually it becomes a trust issue ...its called respect for the other not protecting your own feelings out of fear ...
Thank you Paul! Prof. Ron knows because he wrote the script. :-) He better be honest with his partner! Hahaha!
Said.
Of course lies are not exclusive to philipinos , but I have met many people who are ruthlessly honest , even when to most people it makes no sense to be that honest . So let's not pretend everyone lies .
We appreciate your comment.
Hello Ladies, Your correct Everyone Lies! I was Married only Once and I lied when I said "I'm happy", that was a partly miss truth😔I didn't feel bad about that because I Love my Children and then my life, which my world came Crashing Down when I had to end my marriage😢, I lost my Musical Dreams when I married but I was more concerned with my marriage and my Children, when I had to get a divorce because my Ex continuously was cheating and as a Father & a Man I couldn't put up with it anymore😠
Thank you Timothy for your openly honest comment. We do think cheating is the worst lie in a relationship because you are not just cheating one person. You are cheating two. Rather than cheat, it's better to just be honest, and move on. :-)
I agree and I did and I never got married again because of it@@reflections_with_Shay
How did you get so smart😊
Coffee! Hahaha!
Not only lie but deceive. I’m afraid I can’t believe anything my wife says. She tells me things that she has no intention of doing, lies when she doesn’t have to???
I’m an Australian and our culture is very straightforward, we respect the truth. I can understand you not wanting conflict in your relationship but in my case I have never raised my voice to my wife. I want to hear her out, what her concerns are etc.
all these women are justifying their lies to "save face". that is selfish, and disrespectful to your partner...period. all these women should come clean to their partners for what they did before you damage someone else's soul
shay one lie tends to lead to another lie in the past i have been lied to by partners and my birth family when the truth came out it hurt me very badly i have learnt from many years on this planet lying causes more damage than telling the truth ever did. even if somebody hurts me by telling the truth i have a lot more respect for them lying is cowardly...🤔🤔🤔
Thank you for being so honest Ian! We agree with you 100%. Lies do way more damage than truth does. Very profound Ian! :-)
To lie is not common around the world. I do not lie, hate lies , if u can lie then u can cheat and steal.... Sorry but will not tolerate lies in my relationship
Lying is a universal fact. As we said at the very beginning, "All human beings lie..." at some point. But how we deal with lying is a personal reflection of ones own virtuosity.
It is true. It's so hard for me to lie when I was a kid but then I realized that you have to lie sometimes to be MATURE, ugh. I still, slip a lot of times and get really hurtful stares from people when I was just tellibg the truth. I dunno, I feel more comfortable with cultures like the Spanish and other western cultures when they tell you to your face even the bad things about you. I don't feel ashamed now telling the truth. To hell with you whether you like me or not
Thank you for your comment
I usually lie to keep from hurting another's feelings.
This is a crazy attitude, my wife lies when she doesn’t have. How do you think my feeling are???
I read a lot of different opinions in the comments. In the end it’s whose standards are we to measure to? Gods or man’s? Lying is never ok. Lying loses face. As for in relationships, nowhere does it say to lie to your partner in any scripture of any faith or religion. All relationships have conflict. That’s why it is necessary NOT to lie. Conflict, no matter how difficult it is at times, promotes a strong healthy relationship because part of conflict is forgiveness and acceptance. Which those two promote growth in the relationship. Lying is a very selfish thing. That destroys the growth needed in relationships. Lying also takes more energy and numbs the spirit to evil which will in turn destroy a relationship. Whether it be “white lies” or serious ones it’s wrong. Lying destroys the soul in a way which cannot be healed. The wound it creates festers and gets infected. It will never heal properly which in turn broods a cesspool of hatred. Hatred then becomes violent after it is built up so much.
Telling the truth takes significantly less energy and is healthier because the stress levels go down. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts, that’s life. But the truth doesn’t leave poison in the wound like lying does. With no poison or infection in the wound, the wound, then can heal properly and forgiveness and acceptance can truly be given.
For the women how would you feel if you ask your spouse did he cheat on you, only for him to lie and say no, then when you catch him and say “you lied to me, you are cheating” only for him to say “it’s ok if I lied to you because I’m allowed to!” You tell me women, how is that scenario gunna play out for you? Oh this lie is ok and this one isn’t?
Lying to your partner is cheating on them. Because you placed your selfish needs above them and God…
Thank you for your thoughtful comment Ante! We agree, it is better not to lie. We all have to work harder at this. :-)
@@reflections_with_Shay ty Shay… I know many might disagree but that’s why we must communicate in an effective logical manner, like civil beings, regardless of our country, beliefs, culture or convictions… that’s what separates us from animals. This unique ability to do so
I do not lie.
I am sorry, but I am just not buying the reasoning here. Since this is a catholic country, let's start with Leviticus, 'You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; you shall not lie to one another.' And while we are here, even though I am neither catholic or religious: 'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour' when addressing the gossiping that is so rampant. Ok, that aside, the absolute core foundation of any relationship, work, business, personal, etc is trust. Once a lie is put out there, that trust is broken, subconsciously or overtly once it is discovered. Once a lie or lying behavior is discovered twice, the relationship is forever damaged and true / 100% trust will almost never be restored. For me, if someone is so weak inside that they are concerned about whether telling someone the truth will upset or hurt them, then they either need to find a better way to express themselves or remove themselves from my life until they become stronger. Don't use truth as a weapon, but use it for the greater and higher good vs taking the 'easy' way out. Of course, we then need to ask ourselves if saying something is even necessary in the first place. So save your face or lose your heart, soul, and trust of a person you care about. Very few lies are white. Most are brown, because they stink.
It is true. It's so hard for me to lie when I was a kid but then I realized that you have to lie sometimes to be MATURE, ugh. I still, slip a lot of times and get really hurtful stares from people when I was just tellibg the truth. I dunno, I feel more comfortable with cultures like the Spanish and other western cultures when they tell you to your face even the bad things about you. I don't feel ashamed now telling the truth. To hell with you whether you like me or not
We are all part of the same hypocrisy
Really good video! I really respect the thoughts and opinions of everyone in this video. But these thoughts and opinions were formed growing up in a society that accepts lying as a means to save face or keep from hurting someone's feelings. I think there is a stronger inclination to do so in the Filipino culture. As you stated, lying occurs in all cultures, just in varying degrees. Most of us lie with the intention of saving face or not hurting another's feelings. Those from Western countries commenting here that they do not lie or have never lied - 99% of them are full of shit. Parents lie to their children. Oh no - that shot isn't going to hurt. That medicine won't taste bad. Yes there is an Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and tooth fairy. Yes that breakfast in bed you made for me when you were 7 and burnt everything tasted great. All little white lies we tell them to make them feel happy. We tell them to our family members and close friends for the same reasons. You tell your wife/girlfriend the new recipe she just cooked for you was delicious even if it sucked. You tell her her new outfit look good even though she may look like a clown to you. Possibly the difference between the East and the West is that generally the Western culture starts teaching the kids earlier on that lying is not OK - especially when it comes to safety, legal matters, and daily interactions. I am curious do Filipino parents allow or discourage lying to their children, even though they may do so themselves? Of course, not telling any lies is the best policy, but many people feel compelled to tell the little white lies. Being 100% truthful would be verging on a perfect society - but we will never achieve that as humans. I would never be mad at my significant other if she told me I looked good even though I might be fat. Why? Because if I am fat, then realistically I am lying to myself and should never have put a person in that uncomfortable situation to have to answer a question that already has an honest answer. It doesn't help when we are fed lies everyday by our governments. media, and people in positions that should be trusted. If anyone wants to tell me this is not true then you are either a lair or a fool. I would only encourage Filipinas who are looking for a mate or already have one to be as honest as possible. Your relationship will be better for it. If the guy does not want kids then he will not pursue you - but guess what - the guy who does not mind accepting your kids will come along and you will be a better match. Take care Shay!! Sorry I rambled on - LOL
Read the last book of the Bible 21,8. Liars can't go to heaven!
The Bible says a lie is very false witness against your neighbor if I remember right I took two witnesses to get someone put to death. Being kind to people in sparing their feelings is not a lie
Thank you, Jim.
I don’t think you should say everybody lies! That’s a false statement. I’m scared to lie because I think it will bring me harm if I do ! The only problem is is that a lot of people can’t handle the truth nowadays!!!!😢❤
Let me catch you telling me a lie and the relationship is over. You don't have a relationship if it's built on lies.
Yes, we think so as well Chuck!
You are right we all lying on occasion I’m really sorry about that 🙏 but that’s just one of many reasons we need JESUS 🙏🙏🙏 just another one of your videos that cause us to look inwardly thank you so much miss shay 🙏🙏🙏 GOD BLESS 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you Ty! We're so glad that you are inspired by our work! :-)
Thats how i lie too.white lies... Cuz i dont want my partner worried about my personal stuffs esp with my family.esp when it comes to financial. Everything u said is 100√ ❤😊
It is rather cultural no matter how many people will say it isn't. We, Filipinos have this trait not to burden the other person. This is a trait that is really hard to fathom for visitors, but only Filipinos can understand.
Why is it Filipino being stereotyped here?😢😢😢 Honesty can set you free. What a title.
Hello Mary. This video was based on a question posed many times by viewers. We presented our answer in the first sentence: "All human beings lie." Thank you for your comment.