Destiny Helps Viewer Realize Her Man Is Toxic | CALL-IN ADVICE SHOW
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- Viewers call in and ask Destiny, Erudite and Dan for advice on their relationships...
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00:00 Teasers / Intro
00:48 Abusive ex-boyfriend
19:03 GF can't stop flirting w/ guys from work
30:23 Politics ruined their relationship
49:27 The crew give good advice
#destiny
Previous call in show► ruclips.net/video/z32PKnHdvfU/видео.html
Is it socially acceptable to make fun of the fact I’m a vasectomy baby?
What kind of men does your girl slept with? Are they like you or different? If they different then you then you lack something in the relationship that you cabt fulfill Destiny.
wait destiny, what game are you playing?? I mean like the video game you're playing
@@neileapenninan8706 in case anyone is wondering later, the game he's playing in this video is Factorio
Woman giving dating advice to men is usually cringe, but destiny does a good job
BEEEEETAAA
Lmao damn right
Good one, got em
Amazin
Well he is 50% momma and 50% daddy
Dan is like the goofy aah sidekick character from every Disney movie. He does nothing for the plot, he throws zingers like spaghetti to a wall, but at the end of the day you care for the guy. 😔🙏
True. 100% spot on, and I find him funny for that, but it gets annoying when he expects people to still take him seriously and gets mad when they dont.
Its part of his charm, to be honest. This show wouldn't be the same without him.
@@DarkestKnightshade That's even funnier because he gets so fucking mad
@@DarkestKnightshade i loveee when Dan gets mad at that just makes him seem even more like a side character lmfaoo
@@lorenzovelasque3668 it is funny, but then he genuinely seems to hate it when people don't take him seriously after he spazzes out
I'm gonna leave a really charged comment without having watched this video
This was low key outta pocket, ngl
I haven't watched the video either but you're totally wrong and if you think about it kinda racist.
@@johnflory3306 you are ontologically evil and therefore not worthy of any modicum of respect
@@sheepyroman if you disagree with me you must be a literal Nazi
"I haven't watched the video but isn't this guy a transphobe?"
1 view bro you fell off
time for a "what happened to Destiny" 1hour video
Lestiny
common destiny (girl name btw) L
@@maluill sunnyv2 incoming
I've only ever heard Dan's fake dono reading voice. I had no idea he actually sounds that robotic.
Now what if I told you there was no robotic Dan voice and it's always just dan
@@MinecraftGod69420 now what if i told you its not Dan at all, but just a robot voice.
What if I told you that Dan is autistic and you’re just being ableist lmao
Now what if I told you Dan is actually an AI that dictates messages.
I had watched Destiny pretty frequently before the new dono voices were added so when Dan became a dono voice for like a day I thought Destiny was paying him to read the donos or something, it just sounded like he was sitting in discord dry reading comments lol
HEY GUYS LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF SOMEONE WHO CLAIMS TO LOVE YOU DOESNT TALK TO YOU LIKE THEY HAVE COMPASSION FOR YOU CALL IT OUT. IF THEY CONTINUE TO NOT CARE, LEAVE. Love shouldnt feel difficult. You shouldn’t have to beg to be received in good faith. If they assume you’re bad faith and manipulative, ask yourself, “why would someone who thinks im a bad person be in a relationship with me? Why should i date someone who thinks I’m a bad person? If he values himself he should move on, if i value myself i should move on.”
> “why would someone who thinks im a bad person be in a relationship with me? Why should i date someone who thinks I’m a bad person? If he values himself he should move on, if i value myself i should move on.”
That's actually a really, really good question to ask yourself as a sanity check. I'm that girl from the video and honestly, if a friend had told me to ask myself these exact things I would not have stayed in that relationship as long as I had. I'm for sure going to save this for the future!
I LOOOOVE this! 2 people giving good advice, one person being comedic relief, and morons calling in not seeing the more than obvious answer because they are on the inside looking out. KEEP THIS UP!
Why did this show end? This was the best of times. It portended such a bright future for contentkind
I was in a relationship like the first person was for about a year and a half. It took my therapist making me look at an emotional abuse checklist to realize what was going on. I still have extreme self esteem issues and paranoia to this day because of how much he brought me down. I'm so glad Destiny talks about stuff like this, it's really reassuring to know that I wasn't crazy like he always tried to make me think.
So sorry you had to experience that for a year and a half, sounds horrid. I didn't deal with the exact same type of abuse, but went through a similar experience of a therapist opening my eyes with the hard facts. It's rough for sure.
@@FunkyMonkeyMachine yeah sometimes you need someone on the outside to give you a bit of a reality check. Sorry you had to experience that too!
LoL
@@ronswanson1410 yeah exactly. The longer I was with him the more I started to lash out instead of handling the situations rationally. It was like he was rubbing off on me and I hated it.
💕
I can't, and don't wish to, imagine spending 8 years with a girl who called me abusive because of reddit posts about red pill stuff. I don't know if I'm more mad about the stupidity or the toxicity. jesus christ
How can she spend 8 years with him and then show him such hate and disrespect. ALL of these people are shitheads. If you are a good person with good principles you will meet good respectful people. These fake azzes pretending they are good people and “just happen” end up with an abuser are lying to themselves and are probably shit people as well deep down
I mean. If you say you like movies to My face and then go post online about how you hate movies then I'd at the very least be doubtful of you
@@diegoseba12 abusive though?
@@diobrando6910 men wrong, woman right
I was in a toxic relationship for four years and I still am not redpill… redpill logic especially the extremist views they recycle are not beneficial to males… if you are already socially awkward the worst thing you can do is adopt super redpill logic which unfortunately is happening!
The worst part of this is: the very fact that she felt the need to ask Destiny and his friends if this relationship was toxic shows that he has already totally destroyed her self-esteem to the point where she questions her own reality. He absolutely has gaslighted her. What a terrible situation that deserves kindness, not just shock and disbelief.
I feel like some people just loose feelings for their partners over time but don't have the courage to brake up. Then they start finding or making up crazy stuff just to derail the relationship and make it more "acceptable" to split with that person. Basically a break up strawman.
100% . you'll also notice relationships that end badly usually ended weeks or months before. but one or both sides don't want to admit it. imo
I like that u brought this up because I think a lot of abuse isn't intentional.
Tho I think sometimes abusers are also self-absorbed narcissists who only care about themselves.
@@joea867 There's a lot of people who never give af from the start, that'll date you for alternative reasons etc. But people don't listen to what is said during arguments in a relationship. Listen carefully! Your woman/man will expose their true thoughts.
I have to say I love this therapy hour in the trio format. It's very entertaining, you guys have great chemistry together and it's relaxing to listen to as opposed to a lot of the politically charged stuff. More of this please to balance your content.
This is also politically charged.
and they do a pretty good job of finding the more out there entertaining issues.
Nothing more narcissistic than a bunch of activists listening to one sided complaints about relationships and playing therapists.
@@Fedorevsky By saying "a bunch of activists" you've exposed yourself as knowing nothing about Dan and Erudite. Dan's just a married dude who's friends with Destiny and Erudite is close to becoming a licensed therapist. Neither of them has anything to do with activism. This is also just done in good fun, nobody is pretending this is some kind of therapy session.
If you think about it, it's a good combination, you have the classic married person, a psychologist and the open relationship coomer giving different perspectives based on their personal experiences.
@@fyngolnoldor4891 Yes, I could have been more precise. A married activist an activist moonlighting as a therapist and a degenerate activist.
i wish i had a relationship this bored. the worst of my relationships have been really dehumanizing and disappointing. you guys are great for thinking of eachothers feelings so readily.
Certain women are scarily sociopathic without seeming to realize or understand it
You have a warped view of relationships and partner searching. You shouldn't strike out that much.
27:59
Nah, it's on her snapchat. Fuck that, she can block and ghost them on there. It's not professional at all and she can easily say that she doesn't use it like that and exclude them from snaps. There is options in the settings to exclude people, because there are people who don't want family and such, seeing them post snaps of parties, smoking weed, and other stuff. Plus with it on snapchat, she probably isn't showing him all the messages that matter as they do disappear. Honestly, I wouldn't bother with this girl, especially if she's vindictive over the roommate thing that she clearly doesn't understand or want to understand. She's the type to do something to get even, but the reason why she did it, never existed and wasn't even proven.
OK, these dating advice shows are pretty good. I'm hooked
thank u to the last guy in thsi video for doing this cause i have that exact same problem with relationships rn, its like u were talking for me
that d and d story genuinely shocked me. from either gender that's just vile. in all senses of the word that person seems like they have never been told no. we've all said crazy stuff to exs but if I heard that without context it sounds like a life long enemy, rival or bully not a partner to a partner. wow
The fact that he turned the passing of her SISTER into something all about him… I would’ve run for the hills, yet she apologized.
@@CaulkMongler some people are too nieve for some situations. If I had a bro and he did that to his girl I'd be having serious words with him till he understands human decency.. to have grief used against you is one of the worst manipulations someone can feel. My ex did it to me when my father died. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Can we talk about BDSM = far left, and how everyone just kind of went with that?
Name a female far right figure who's openly into BDSM
Are you saying that statistically that isn't true? I can pull up a chart that shows how mental illness is affiliated with political alignment and the highest number is on the far left.
Why is any of this so hard to believe...
feel sorry for the guy with the flirting girlfriend I've ended a few relationships because of that kind of attention seeking attribute. never feels good to end it but the line has to be a line. it will probably take him leaving for her to relise she wants him. but by that time she may have destroyed it all.
100%
no she'll have someone already lined up. that's why they do it
@@maximusdecimusmeridius5438 then she would’ve just left dude.
@@millionshadesofdarkness2165 false.
@@leadfaun no you’re coping. if guys are already flirting with her, once she tells them that her bf broke up with her they’ll flock to her to “comfort” her with the end goal of getting in her pants. You know this, I know this, everyone knows this.
In the politics ruined my relationship part, the dude said his ex gf thought the alt right had “fascistic tendencies” and he disagreed. isn’t that a true statement though? I know she was the idiot in the relationship but pretty sure she was right about that one part.
Also, when the dude was asked “how far left was this girl?” he said “she likes BDSM so pretty far left” ??????🤷♂️ that whole convo felt like a god tier troll.
Everyone has em buddy. That’s enough sniffing your own farts for one day 😂❤️
@@Re-Todd_Howard yeah that part sent me.
However, I'd imagine right-leaning girls probably feel less sexually liberated and so might not latch onto that as an identity? On a social left-right axis you'd eventually get to the point on the right where that's all disregarded as degeneracy, but yeah it was delivered way to simply.
@@Re-Todd_Howard he could have worded it better, but I think the point was that people in the BDSM and other alternative lifestyle communities tend to skew towards anarchism, anarcho-communism and stuff like that a lot more than the general population
Omg destiny !!! I would have loved to call in !
I listen to these videos before I go to bed so your post timing is always perfect lol
Sorry youve lost this joy
If I had a girlfriend I would NEVER be toxic!!!
vouch
vouch
This show is awesome
You should make a clip out of that ladder analogy. It's really good!
woman must have really low standards for men nowadays if this is the case, i seriously beat myself up way too much if this is the way some other guys act to women
The real answer is that these men women go after are just good looking. And the women just ignore the personality red flags. Women should look past how a guy looks (to a certain extent) and start paying WAY more attention to a guy's personality.
I can say the same shit other way around tf?
hi Destiny just watch you on FnF, i watched you way back on that starcraft channel cant believe i saw you 10 years later debateing myron, defenitly subing to the channel to check more of your videos you had very good points u was always bigbrain best of luck my dude
Always a delight to see the Dan man
I appreciate Dan’s chaotic energy.
This video made me realize I suck at setting boundaries and I don’t even know why
Fear of being alone
@@chickenandksivideoreviewer9739 TrollDespair
Boundaries aren't necessary. They're about control.
i thought steven didn't believe in the friend zone, but his ladder theory is literally the friend zone
Pro tip: you can download all your data from Snapchat on their webtsite and basically view every screenshot, text and voice ever sent even if deleted, hell even every person ever added and wether they were name searched or quick added. So just do that if you ever need evidence of anything.
Dude the politics ruined relationship is just Vaush fan dating a Destiny fan gone wrong...
My gf keeps making machine gun noises while I try to convince her I don't have a girl's name :(
@@speedfastman did you say simon says?
@@speedfastman That's her outpacing you in muzzle velocity.
Damn this feels like it was streamed two months ago. Usually videos come out rapid fire. I think this was last weekend though to be fair.
Matt Walsh has some pretty good dating advice. I was confused for a long time, wasn't sure which direction I was heading in. I had so many uncomfortable questions but he finally boiled it all down into one simple question: "What is a Destiny?" and from then on I knew he was based.
I wonder if Destiny has watched Matt Walsh’s What Is A Woman film yet
@@jeremias-serus if he hasn't watched it on stream, it hasn't happened... free content will not be passed up😂
Erudite's use of the phrase "trauma bonding" around 57:40 was irresponsible. Trauma bonding refers to a specific cycle of abuse and attachment to the abuser. While i agree that bonding over trauma is not a healthy foundation for a relationship, calling it trauma bonding will give people the wrong impression of what that actually refers to and can cause major miscommunications
This is important.
I think most people know trauma bonding as bonding over mutual trauma as Erudite referred to it as. But honestly the term is so broad, I can see this as both things.
@@kenamada5451 I think destiny's reply on this would be hilarious given his recent arc: hey guys trauma bonding is waay too broad of a term..it can mean anything and everything due to people constantly misusing these terms. we should stop using the words and attack the issues being described: is there an abuser, are they both abusers (can one abuser abuse more than the other?), was it said as just a joke, was it done to trigger others, was it basically light banter, was just a bunch of normal people bonding through shared trauma, what does society at large think about this, will we be able to convince these people if we use these terms? lolol
The invention of the word “gaslighting” is absolutely the worst thing that happened for dating
The word "Gaslighting" and it's consequences have been a disaster for dating.
- Ted Kazynski (probably)
Not to mention she talks about how he can gaslight her unintentionally, when the literal definition of gaslighting is made with effort.
1:13 a flip is switched
I had a similar relationship. I feel for her. I have screen shots that are similar and I felt everything she said. I dealt with it for almost a year. Finally he left and I was left broken. I begged for him back but it was mistake. I know i made that mistake and thank God he was half away across the world.
I like watching these because I'm parasocial now and have never had a real inperson relationship since 2013.
If this is true idk how it's possible
its okay dude sometimes you need to work on yourself before making the mistake to jump in a relationship to fix your problem
@@beastmasterbg what most people forget is that you should have friends and be okay w yourself before tryharding on relationships.
If its trouble meeting people to form friendships I have found a lot of use out of the Meetup app. I have a friend group that I play party games with and then chill at a bar with every other week. Made friends to hang out with outside of the specified group time as well.
Been a real improvement in life since Covid cut me off from my normal places for making friends.
Damn that's depressing
Probably the saddest part in the 1st story is that the dude is not gonna learn from this and he's either gonna be more incel than he already is or beg and cry to take her back.
I've been a bit on the fence sometimes about euridite, but she seems really good at what she does, kind of wished I had a therapist like her.
You mean one that will show you her armpits the whole time she’s talking to you? 😂 Maybe it’s a Freudian slip.
@@Re-Todd_Howard what the fuck are u even talking about lmfao
@@Re-Todd_Howard >armpits
💀
trust me you do not want a therapist that behaves in this way. She has a degree in psychology but i get the distinct feeling she isnt very experienced with counselling or therapeutics because she CONSTANTLY cuts of the person she is meant to be HEARING. One of the most therapeutic experiences is have a therapist who hears you and a thing that is hammered into you when learning to become a therapist is to avoid interupting, its not helpful, it makes the client feel unimportant.
I'm early to a video for the first time Pagman
MORE OF THIS OR SIMILAR THERAPY STUFF VERY COOL STUFF
rather an abusive man than a boring man.... right ladies
wait wtf. 'she likes bdsm..... so pretty far left'..............
I dont think that has anything to do with politics
Somehow it has become somewhat of a stereotype that the "left" engages in freaky and "impure" sex acts very often, because they consider sexual liberty important and religious conservatives try to paint that in bad light by making it a stereotype.
Of course, it's nothing more than another politicized stereotype with not much truth behind it (I think?) but that's where that comment came from I think
53:23 "the ladders wisdom"
“Ohh it’s my fault huh, Look at it closely, Look at it closely” - A Sickk Ass Foo
Ok if it’s to the point that people are contacting you on Snapchat? Extremely unprofessional. Even outside of flirting, I don’t contact my coworkers like that. Don’t crap where you eat. I don’t understand why you would even want to find upward trajectory in a workplace where you have to flirt with the uppers versus showing more that you’ve got the skills and knowledge to move up. It’s really not even hard to be boring thru things like Snapchat, the only reason why they keep messaging her is because she flirts back…
Was this before or after the podcast?
Dan is Destiny’s toxic man. Best content manager 🔺
I swear to God i definitely saw this like 2 days ago
"the yellow person" okay destiny calm down with the asian racism
Her man is a manipulator a narcistic one ive dealt with them and have been one myself
now at the age of 27 i can tell you for both its not healthy to stay together
he need help and so should she but not ever as friends or more
i didnt know right and bdsm where the 2 opposing sides on the political spectrum
19:35 lmao the exaggerated “what the fuck Dan?”
💚💚
These are great, how do I get in on this?
I should`ve called in
(Sep 4)
Word of the Day: Demeanor
Demeanor refers to a person's behavior toward other people. It is usually used in the singular.
From Merriam-Webster
Crazy how this type of shit happenes without people realizing
It's normal top G says so
@@dt-lg2oc Top G doesn't advocate for abuse. This guy isn't right in the head.
what messages are they referring to? are the receipts available to read?
Not presently as most peoples submissions were not blacked out. But in the future that is our goal! Growing pains
I have a very strict I dont talk about my relationship problems with other people as there will always be a bias and can put a negative view on the partner and also effect the persons judgement on the situation.
Totally agree , people will always be bias and tell there version of the story. The advice you can give someone is criticism of there own actions and behaviour.
There needs to be a balance. Sometimes you are to close to it to see the writing on the wall. Many abusive relationships are secretive. Women also have a tendency to only bish abt the bad things abt their partner then they are surprised that their family & friends hate their partner. Ideally you should have one or two level headed friends you can talk to.
yep. Destiny and the people on this called are hearing the most bias view point against the people the caller is talking about, specially when it's people they don't know. You should never give advice based on a super bias view point specially over the internet, it leads to more problems than solutions. This is literally the hole point behind peoople that criticized Dr.K, but he usually has the caution of not making full on judgements of the people the person in the call is talking about. I like the idea, but this content is dangerous to do when people don't have the appropriate training in the subject.
Same.
Venting and perspective is important, your close friends know and understand your bias and hopefully you can trust them to call you out on it gently. Getting that outside look in is incredibly helpful, and sharing the problems should probably be more to address your emotional needs rather than solve the problems (as thats best left to you and your partner).
That is not the definition of trauma bonding AT ALL. Trauma bonding is a description of a type of relationship between a victim and an abuser, not simply a relationship based on discussing one another's trauma. It's not a "broad term" either. It has a very specific definition. "A trauma bond is a strong emotional bond that develops between a survivor of prolonged abuse and the perpetrator of the abuse."
These people do not seem to be well-trained.
The first caller was an avid star dew valley player, she’s definitely the crazy one.
lol what’s wrong with stardew :(
@@odellatics game for psychopaths
Dan was frisky this episode
The third guy. If she is redditing the altright more than half the day she is obsessed about it. It is only a matter of time until she finds fault in your behavior because her obsession leads to paranoia in every level of her life.
She was a lost cause. Even if he did the things Stephen mentioned it would not have helped. The relationship was doomed.
I have known obsessed people. Agreeing with them wont save the relationship.
About the girl who's getting attention form her superiors, I think it's really easy to say that she should shut them down when it's not your job or promotion on the line. We all know how many men react to rejection, the want revenge. Also, she's rejecting them by not doing things with them, I think it is unreasonable to expect her to control other people's behavior, her superior's at that. It's a lose lose situation for her, either he boyfriend gets mad or her superior gets mad.
Yeah was thinking the same thing. I see that shit happen all the time esp with waitresses. The regulars sometimes mistake their niceness as a signal when they're literally just being paid to be polite to you. At that point the waitress can only politely deflect and vaguely flirt back to placate the guy in the moment without necessarily giving a definitive rejection of their advancement.
Shit can get nasty real fast if she flat out rejects the guy unless it's totally obvious to everyone else he was being sleazy the whole time.
She can't control others behavior but she can control her own, ive seen situations exactly like that play out in a few different work places and the girls that make it known (nicely) that they won't entertain or react to that stuff from the start makes guys shut down pretty quick
@@mypud4068 Yeah, maybe if they don't care about keeping their job. If a woman's no meant something for men, the world would be a better place. We have to be super nice and gentle to reject a man so they won't take it as a personal attack and look for revenge but even then they do.
@@mypud4068 "girls that make it known (nicely) that they won't entertain or react to that stuff from the start makes guys shut down pretty quick"
Until the girl tries to shut down the wrong guy. That's all it takes, and you never know what some guy is capable of.
@@AngryReptileKeeper stop victimising yourself as if you'll be beat down or raped. Either shut that shit down immediately or give one word response to shut it down slowly but either way shut it down. Women will always have people asking them out since they aren't execrated to initiated shit and therefore it is the womans job to shut down them NOT the boyfriend for ANY reason.
There is 0 excuse for this. You either choose to keep the flirting going and tell your super long term partner to "just deal with it" (which if genders were reversed everyone would be hating on the man btw) and face little issue in your job if you do what the therapist suggested being slow one word rejections or just go fuck your boss already and destroy your relationship. Either way you destroy the relationship.
That is on HER. If the genders were reversed yall would go bat shit crazy on the man fuck this bullshit.
Which date or stream was this on
Dan is my spirit animal.
DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Jesus fucking christ. I'll never understand why people who are this abusive and reprehensible get so much leeway for so long... Some of this shit is like instant-breakup worthy but people just put up with it for some reason.
Too difficult of a journey especially for men to find someone else so they just stay. Other than that less awareness of abuse for men. At least there exists a discussion about abuse in womens relationships especially now where the terms "toxic", "abusive" and "gaslighting" etc are so overly used to shit by women so clearly they know enough to leave even if the red flags aren't even red but they are just super sensitive. But for men there's no real advocate for them standing up for men even tho 80% of domestic violence is by women onto men and if you say that youll get attacked by women saying you are lying
Anabore must be getting hiccups while this was going on
28:03 this this all of this
Is this ths girl with the brown jacket that was at the table when Destiny was on fresh n fit last time?
Yep! Her youtube is notsoErudite, she's done quite a few streams with destiny that you could check out there.
The third guy his ex clearly has an addictive personality and substituted alcoholism with hating the red pill movement (low key nice switch) and overall feels like he didn't support her. If your SO becomes obsessed with a topic you should be supportive whilst trying to make them realise that obsession isn't right as it will just ruin their days as you usually lack the ability to solve the problem. Also she was right, which validates her obsession in her view.
what's the song destiny uses for the intro ?
Ask August I suppose
I don’t know anything about dan but I’m not seeing why he’s held to such a high regard at all.
is the purpose of Dan being there is to argue with Destiny? lol
is it for to have the same time as the other one?
How's what Notsoerudite is asking this dude not bordering on gaslighting?.
Did erudite use an avatar before?
I think you're thinking of eristocracy
hi
"What do you mean it's frozen?" Come on Destiny really?
I’m sorry , that your sorry , that they are sorry for going through that 😔😔. SSOS
Holy shit the first guy was Arcadum lmaoo
46:17 huh? BDSM political party 💀
Yee
Third guy needs a little bit of red pill in his life tbh
For the GF can’t stop flirting, the obvi thing the girl should do in that situation is tell the guy off. The bf was saying they were people he knew that would be hitting on her, so they should be aware that she’s in a relationship and her not making that clear is sus
Yo
If I had a dollar for everytime someone says "a flip is switched"
dan is a less grey Coach Redpill
Its 3:33 am yo
hola
1:27 LOL
29:42
I Really enjoy these talks/shows, as well as Dan, I just kinda wish he wasn’t part of these he seems a bit out of place. Great regardless!
omg fuckin Dan. "i see she was sending you articles on psychology and stuff."
Destiny, "Dan! Careful. Dan, Stop"
lol shut that shit down immediately