5 Things You'll NEVER Hear at a Catholic Wedding
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- SOCIAL MEDIA
Newsletter: breakingintheh....
Facebook: goo.gl/UoeKWy
Instagram: goo.gl/ShMbhH
Podcast: feeds.libsyn.c...
INTERESTED IN BECOMING A FRIAR?
United States: goo.gl/MXKb2R
Find your Vocation Director: goo.gl/2Jc52z
SUPPORT THE MISSION
Order my books: amzn.to/386QDpR
Donate Monthly: goo.gl/UrrwNC
One-time gifts: shorturl.at/4CwgV
MUSIC
Epidemicsound.com
I'm not Catholic but I admire how seriously marriage is taken in the Catholic church. So many people get married without thinking it through, or it becomes about the spectacle of the ceremony rather than the commitment of being together.
it became a money making business in the 1700s by popular culture
I am a Catholic and can tell you about the number of annulments in the Catholic Church. It is huge in the traditional, Catholic Poland. People get married young when hormones kick in and then regret....
Possibly the ceremony and traditions themselves. I know plenty of people who are divorced and catholic.
@@KH-nt7ej ? Unless they are only married and divorced civilly, in the catholic church once you’re married, you cannot be divorced unless by a spacial request to the vatican and if the vatican approves. It’s because Jesus is against divorce. Matthew 9:1-12
That's because of 2 reasons. First, it's one of the 7 sacraments, the DO of catholics to fulfill god's Will. But most importantly because family Is the single most important element in christianity, that's why inside a church the priest calls US "brothers and sisters", and since a wedding Is the born of a new family the ceremony is taken as seriously as you would expect.
I converted to Catholicism as a teenager, my sister followed at age 18. As her husband is also Catholic, they had a beautiful Catholic wedding ceremony in a small medieval mountain church last year. They considered custom vows but agreed that the traditional Catholic vow was simple, honest and beautiful. Our stepfather felt awkward walking her down the aisle, so our brother did it. I did the reading and the intercessions. The priest was my brother-in-law's army chaplain and he was lovely and was very much aware that not all guests were Catholic but I tried to make up for it and gave all the replies extra loudly so people would know what to say 😂
So the priest would go: "The lord be with you."
And I'd yell as loudly as politeness permitted: "AND WITH YOUR SPIRIT!"
Me, I will have a Catholic wedding of sorts as well ... I aspire to be a consecrated virgin ☺
Wonderful! God Bless you on your special journey.
Wow... I don't know why, but that moved me :D You just seem like a beautiful and caring person. Thanks for sharing that, and be blessed !
Maria and Jesus be with you
Praise God for your vocation!
Thank you for honoring Jesus in consecrated religious life.
I absolutely love that we as Catholics don't need to be "given" away.
Being given away in marriage actually appears to predate the Catholic Church, so it's not a Catholic invention. In the case of 4th-Century Saint Princess Catherine of Alexandria, she took part in a visionary Mystic Marriage in which she was given away in marriage to Our Lord not by a man, but by the Blessed Virgin herself!
The daughter belongs to the father until she is giving away to the husband who is now her head.
@@AnnulmentProof The daughter belongs to herself after age of maturity. No one gives her away. She belongs to no one. She is a human with free will.
@@christinereich6050 if that were true then no woman would veil after age 18. The father is the head of his daughter.. but then the husband becomes the head. The father stopped giving his daughter away after the spirit of Vatican 2 redefined marriage
@@AnnulmentProof No woman would veil? Meaning?????
As a Catholic who has been to innumerable Catholic weddings, I never noticed these differences until Father Casey pointed them out. Thank you, Father Casey, for highlighting such differences and their significance.
Same here!
To each his own. I have attended a lot of Catholic weddings too. For one thing, as a boy I served mass a lot of times, so I could practically recite the entire ceremony whilst fast asleep (same for funeral services BTW). Attending Protestant weddings I did notice differences, but I attributed them to culture more than religion, because the Catholic services occurred in the nation where I was born an the Protestant ones in the nation where I was married myself. So this was illuminating and also salutary.
yep, same for me, a massive Mandela effect
So enlightening!
My wife and I followed the Eastern Catholic practice where the bride and groom enter together because they are the ones performing the sacrament.
Yes, that is the practice in Lebanon. Please pray for the Middle East
But in the East, the priest’s solemnisation or blessing is required for the validity of the sacrament and not just liceity, whereas the West it’s not necessary for validity as the the husband and wife are the ministers of the sacrament.
16 years ago when my husband and I were married I was still a non-practicing Lutheran, and my husband was a luke warm Catholic. I was irritated that in order to have a traditional wedding Mass we couldn't have the ceremony outside, or have secular music. Now that I am Catholic, I completely understand the reasoning for the traditions and rules of the wedding Mass and think it's BEAUTIFUL!🕆📿😊
Well, I mean, that applies also here, we're Orthodox Christians. There's secular music and all that anyway at the party, I guess, so, yeah.
At Catholic weddings the couple receive an Angel for their family
@@lxportugal9343 Cool, I've never heard that before. I know that when a Priest is ordained he receives another guardian angel😊
@@AWAKEnotWOKE84 For priests It's not exactly a guardian Angel. It's a...(don't know the name in English) ministerial(?) Angel. It's help them with their duties as priests I think
@@lxportugal9343 no, it's a guardian angel. I believe that it was Fr. Chad Ripperger (exorcist) who explained that when Priests are ordained, it's like they there are wanted posters of them in hell. They gain extra attention/attacks from demons, so they need more spiritual protection.
My husband and I walked each other down the Isle two weeks ago today, and it was the best decision. We got to spend time together before hand, alone in the church basement, which kept us grounded. Instead of being nervous and about the "First Look" in front of 80+ people, we entered grinning together.
I also love how it shifts the focus from "Oh look at how beautiful the BRIDE is in her dress!" to "Look at that COUPLE coming to get married together!".
I highly recommend.
Yes ~ However, My Groom did not see my dress prior to the ceremony. The look on his face, seeing me with my Daddy in a tux at the end of the aisle was priceless!
I love this!
We did the same thing. Definitely a good choice.
My husband (of 40+years) did this . ❤
Yeah I'd probably be bawling in front of her guests. I might have like 5 people maybe. I'm 33 and have been waiting for so long. When it happens finally I'd be so emotional because of God's promise we made together being fulfilled.
Thanks for this video. I grew up going to Catholic weddings weddings (very large family, dozens of cousins). About 10 years ago was shocked to attend a (younger generation of family) mountain top wedding with no mention whatsoever of God….no invocation, no blessing, no Our Father. The ceremony felt so empty and surreal. It made me sad. I am grateful for Catholic weddings.
I don't need a third party in my wedding. And I promise commitments before my friends, family and society.
Nothing souless to a promise for a lifetime. Except there are no souls anyway but you meant it metaphorically.
@joancoleman1228 Exactly. I happily attend religious ceremonies no matter what the faith of the couple and am honored to do so, bearing witness to the newlyweds' humility in recognizing the seriousness of their vows and that those promises require more than just human will to be kept. But I no longer attend secular weddings. I find them vacant affairs - the equivalent of attending a house closing, with the house having been built on little more than sand
Have been to too many of these and agree there is something empty in them. Do make sure to acknowledge in both written and verbal greetings what a blessing from God this is. They probably think me a fuddy duddy but if I don't do this no one else will.
I love going to Catholic weddings and hearing the same vows that my husband and I said to each other many years ago. It’s like we renew our own marriage at every wedding.
Beautiful, just like at every Mass where relive the death and resurrection of our Lord.
I find points #1 and #3 interesting points of differentiation between Catholic weddings and those of other traditions. For all times that the Catholic Church is maligned, many times unfairly, for being patriarchal and archaic, the fact that our Church insists on a woman's autonomy and freedom to freely consent to marriage (point #1,) and that the union be uncoerced by the meddling of the public (point #3), makes our faith surprisingly progressive in relation to the more popular ceremonies that govern weddings.
Both of these things are present in the Church of England's traditional liturgy for the solemnisation of matrimony, which has been very influential in the English-speaking world's idea of the marriage ceremony, hence why they're so cliché.
IMO, sometimes "woke" and "progressive" are just too much.... To what have we progressed and awakened??? Yikes!
Cindy I agree not progressive a all!. Raised Catholic and recovery for 76 years. Today's Catholic church has gone back to the 50s the 1550s. Still very patriarchal and not progressive and loving to all. Poor Pope Frances he has an insurmountable task with the corruption. What would Jesus say if he returned for a visit. Remember the 8 beatitudes ! This Friar knows nothing about marriage. I was married in 1970. We were able to have a simple wedding no mass. My non Catholic husband and I signed papers and never looked back. All you "practicing" Catholics start doing research on the history of the church going back to St Augustin original sin to the fact that the church suppressed women for centuries. This explanation of a woman not be a "possession " was really news to me that was not how I was brought up in the church. Women had no say especially with birth control and it's happening now in our country. Not a safe time fo women.
Goes to show the ones who bash on "Catholic" weddings in the pretense of religious trauma didn't really get to inform themselves of the precepts of it.
Nothing goes as hard as Ave Maria at a Catholic wedding opening ceremony, trust me bro
So you sing 🫡
We had Highland Cathedral on the bagpipes. First the piper alone in the vestibule with the doors closed, then the doors were opened and the pipe organ joined in an accompaniment. That was powerful.
"Ave Maria" is the Hail Mary prayer. This is typically (or traditionally) sung after Communion.
@@ggaro8149 Over here in Mexico as Our Lady of Guadalupe is a very prominent figure it's customary to, right before stepping out of the church, the newly married couple will offer flowers to Guadalupe, and while that happens Ave Maria will be playing. They will stand there praying to Her and after a while finally step out.
As Mexico is mostly Catholic most of this video was a realization that it was different for our Christian friends in the US, or I just thought they where fabrications in movies and media.
Also, "You may now kiss the bride" is not officially in the liturgy.
Funny story - we were told our priest would still say that after announcing us. He apparently chose to give my husband a head nod instead, I didn't see it and kept waiting, and we got a nice organ blat during our first kiss when I figured out it because they thought we were skipping it. 🤣
My pastor would always tell the happy couple "you may now do something to show your love" and 9/10 times they would just hug or give cheek pecks lol.
When we had our rehearsal, the priest conducting the rehearsal told us that that was not part of the ceremony. He was not the priest that was going to be marrying us.
The next day I called our priest. We were having a ceremony with “options”. We couldn’t have a nuptial Mass because of the time of our ceremony. I told him that I wanted him to say “You may now kiss the bride” as one of the options.
The whole bridal party knew that this was a big deal. When we got to that part in the ceremony, the priest smiled as he said it. Our MOH and BM laughed and clapped. My new husband and I smiled and gave each other a sweet kiss appropriate for church. It was one of the highlights of our day!
I did not know that at the time of my wedding, and neither did our families. We were all waiting for that moment and it never came. 😅
So we took a moment when stepping outside of the church for our first kiss as husband and wife. 🥰
When we were doing the rehearsal, our priest told us he wasn't going to say this. He said to me, "at that point, she's your wife, you don't need my permission to kiss her!"
In Poland who is prominently Catholic, you do just that. The couple walk in together down the aisle. We got a classical singer singing Ave Maria and a person with a violin. After almost 23 years together I still love that simple yet very meaningful occasion. Loved the fact it was an actual mass not just a short vows exchange.
Another common tradition is for the bride to give her flowers to the Blessed Mother statue instead of doing a bouquet toss at the reception. It was one of my favorite parts of our wedding -- a beautiful, chanted rendition of Regina Caeli post-communion while we proffered our flowers to Mary and knelt for a quick prayer to her.
I did this too! Love it!
We did both at our wedding. We had a vase arrangement ready and we placed it before the statue before some prayer. And then my wife’s bouquet still got tossed much later.
May I ask where you live that this is your custom? Just curious because I have never heard of this!
@@emmib1388 USA (Texas specifically). It's an old tradition, but hasn't been widespread since before the 70s. You are unlikely to see it as weddings of more "lax" Catholics but it's starting to grow amongst the young, devout crowd.
@@Shadeadder thanks for sharing!
It is so sad how pop culture, social media, and reality TV have affected weddings in America. Couples are so involved in making their wedding unique they forget about why they are there.
Couples aren't involved in making their weddings unique. The bride is.
Weddings have nothing to do with the groom. It's HER day.
It's not about family, marriage, or love. It's all about her.
Even Catholic marriages are falling into this pattern.
I've worked at around 200 weddings. I can tell you that the husbands/grooms should just go home after the "I do" or send their vows via text message.
It's not only the USA anymore, it's everywhere. Before my wedding, I was convinced that it's traditional here in Germany for a father to walk his daughter down the aisle. You see it in every wedding on TV and my uncle did it with my cousin a few years ago. That's the only catholic wedding I've been to since my childhood. So I was surprised to find out that it isn't. And that's not the only "american" thing that has swept over into german wedding customs.
I still did it, because that's just how I always pictured my wedding entrance, but I will definitely tell my children the traditional way.
My fiancé and I are currently planning our wedding. When our families asked me what the wedding theme would be, the only thing I could think to respond with was "um...wedding themed?" We are making a commitment that will impact every facet of our lives that we hope will last for half a century or more (depending on how long we live); everything else about the celebration is nice, and we're thrilled that our families will be there to show their support, but that's "theme" enough in my mind!
We had a Catholic wedding 38 years ago, and it included mass. Although my wife and I thought the entire ceremony went quickly, one of the non-Catholic groomsmen said he'd never seen a longer wedding. We enjoyed the entire service and all these years together since.
long? most Catholic weddings that include mass aren't that long. mass is about an hour, wedding ceremony only about 10-- 15 minutes. i know some non- Catholic faiths where service alone is 2--3 hours
Wishing you and your wife many more 38 years together ! My parents are coming up on 40 !
We "had to" kneel The Whole Time. I had bad knees before. I was wondering if I would be able to get up.... Younger persons had chairs to sit in for their weddings... But I asked for Traditional...
@@mistermattmoose Far too long
@@cindiloowhoo1166 Husband and I got married 30 yrs ago, and I chose to wear traditional costume where the 'skirt' part was a very tight at the knees and legs (not bod-con) and we had to kneel as well. And then after the final blessing from the priest, we both walked to where my parents were seated (his parents were not there because they're in the US and we got married in my home country). We knelt again for the parents to wish us well and my mom whispered me a quick prayer. The kneeling to the parents was a local tradition.
As a Lutheran at my wedding we had been told that pop music was not allowed for the ceremony. And there was no "speak now" statement. Instead, after we were married the minister addressed the congregation said that if from here on anyone tried to divide us they did so "in the peril of offending a creation God has made"
Our wedding in the Catholic Church was the best choice we made. We did it for our families and ourselves. It was a day to rejoice and celebrate.
You will never cry as hard as you will when you hear Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus at a Catholic wedding
I was a member of the choir, so as you can imagine, this was the first one on my list when we got married. That and "Bei Mannern" from Mozarts Magic Flute - the duet that Papageno and Patina sing about finding their true love - "Its exalted goal is manifest:
Nothing is more noble than man and wife.
Man and wife, and wife and man,
Attain divinity."
Isn't that music written for a requiem mass?
@@JRRMediaAU Not explicitly for a Requiem, but it is often sung during Communion. But more than that, it is regarded as probably the most perfect piece of music ever written. Plus, it's just gorgeous 🥰
Ah yes. I went to a wedding once to help the organist pull stopps. And the choir had a sick soprano. So they asked if I wanted to join them in ave verum corpus. I didn’t even know the couple but I felt so honoured to participate. I absolutely love that song.
@@ModernLady gorgeous soprano part in it. Cuts through in just the right way
Wonders will never cease because as a protestant I will agree there should be no secular or pop music during the cerermony.
I was Protestant, Converted via RCIA for a Wedding Mass. It never, ever, entered my head that I could not have "The Protestant" version of that song sang inside the Mass. I was very disappointed and a tad perturbed.
It’s not so long ago that all of Protestantism used to know this.
About to be 2 years married in November and every step of the process was worth it. Some couples may think of the Churches prerequisites for marriage are too much work (filling out a 150 question form about you and your finances compatibility, meeting with a married couple from the parish several times, meeting with your priest), but these things honestly helped deepen my relationship with my now wife and helped us understand the importance of the sacrament. So if you’re a Catholic couple looking to get married, please don’t look at these prerequisites as a waste of time, they are a blessing and can bring you closer together.
I went through the process during my first marriage. And it was clear by the end of the course there were some couples were not going to make it to the altar.
I believe Catholic marriage prep is essential. Regardless of faith too. Important topics to be discussed before trouble occurs.
Those tests are worth every penny!
This wasn't even offered when we got married. Had voluntary taken an 18 week "engagement encounter " that had been suggested by a protestant. One week before the wedding, we get a phone call from the parish office saying the next day was a one day wedding prep class and it was mandatory to attend, or the wedding would be called off.
Countered with the engagement encounter classes and they said bring proof and that was it, we were marriedthe following Saturday.
Catholic Weddings are just a whole different level of weddings. I was surprised the first time I went to a non-catholic wedding. Thank you for sharing 🙏🙏
"Oh, good. They wrote their own vows." Said no one, ever.
You're not kidding. One wedding we attended (secular) the bride was talking about feeding their cats in the morning and opening the can as she was reading the vowels. 😐
Lol. Truth.
@@nancymccolgan2644 😮😮
😅
Got that right " Your my soulmate, my lover , and my bestie - Good lord!
Saying the vows my parents, grandparents, great grandparents said meant everything to my husband and me.
My wife and I had a beautiful Catholic wedding almost 19 years ago. She and I still talk about how that one mass set us up for a lifetime of bringing a family fully (although at times tenuously) into the faith. But my one sadness now, and I'm looking at you Fr. Casey, is the priest didn't come to our wedding dinner, sit by us, and say to us, "Now I'll see you in the morning, right?" Late night or not, I tell every newly married couple not to skip mass on their first Sunday together.
Yes, we arose early for Sunday Mass. Now that was a real commitment. And a great start to a great marriage.
Woah! I had quite a few non-Christians attend my wedding.......they were very confused as it was "different" for them. They were shocked that we did not kiss in front of the priest and altar too (the "you may now kiss the bride" bit). I'm glad we had a good Catholic wedding, the additional "fluff" worked well in the reception dinner though. The ceremony was between us and God!
I went to a Catholic wedding that wanted to do the Rite right. They were the ministers of hospitality and welcomed their guests in the vestibule-together. The entrance procession did not have bridesmaids and groomsmen. Instead the married couples who prepared them for marriage walked in together as their sponsors, each carrying items used in a Mexican and Philippine ending, including the Bible, the veil, the cord, and the coins. The two families met at the baptismal font, and the parents put the hand of the groom into hand of the bride. The six people walked Don the aisle as couples, with the administrators of the sacrament-the bride and groom- coming last. We sang appropriate hymns and Mass parts throughout. There was a thick worship aid provided to help with this. The back of this worship aid was full of well wishes, photos, and even greetings from the embassies of the two countries they were going to for their honeymoon. We were greeted by Mariachis as we went from the church to the parish hall for the reception, which was a potluck! People brought food to share instead of gifts. It was truly a celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony.
❤
I prefer the traditional mass that means preconciliar
Another thing that has stood out at every Catholic wedding I've attended is the fact that the community witnessing the wedding are called upon by the priest to support the couple in their marriage. No idea if it's official church lore or not, but at each ceremony, the priest went out his way to remind those attending that marriage doesn't happen in a vacuum and that everyone present has a duty to help the couple
Yes, that's why weddings aren't a private event... mass is open to the public technically. Catholic masses are about the Body of Christ, what affects my brothers and sisters in Christ affect me as well.
My cousin had an outdoor wedding with some type of pastor, and I wasn’t pleased about it. We were raised Catholic. Marriage is a Sacrament.
Surely sacraments works outdoors?
In my country, usually the wedding ceremony and wedding reception are hold in different place. The ceremony is definitely at church, reception can be at beach, garden, or any place.
We received our Sacraments of Confirmation and Marriage in The Church a month ago, and it was such a beautiful ceremony and liturgy! Recommend engaged couples look for blending Latin and English worship music! We had Panis Angelicus (Bread of Angels), Te Deum (God We Praise), and blended in Sanctus, Sanctus and Agnus Dei during the Eucharistic Prayers. It’s still beautiful and moving to reflect on that expression of our devotion to God when we were kneeling near the Altar ❤
I am a lifelong Catholic with a long history of working in the Church. Some of these I knew, but a few are ones I never thought about before (never thought about not hearing those things said). This is a really great explanation!
There were only five...
I love the entire reasoning behind a father not walking the bride down the aisle. Not only do I have an awkward connection with my Dad (and would probably not include it in my ceremony), but I like the idea the married couple is giving themselves to each other, not being given away. I'm not Catholic, at this point anyway, but appreciated so much of this video.
This video is a breath of fresh air. Thank you for this clear no-nonsense explanation of the right way to conduct a holy wedding ceremony!
As a Latter-day Saint (and always with much respect to Catholic followers of Christ), here is my take:
No. 1 and No. 3 - our approach is the same as the Catholic approach. I have recently been learning about ancient Jewish wedding traditions because of the biblical symbolism (the church as the bride and Christ as the bridegroom), and it seems like the cultural traditions of No. 1 and No. 3 stem from old hebraic practise.
No. 2 - as a musician, I've actually played at a Catholic wedding before, though it was over a decade ago. I was playing with a string quartet and I believe we included some classical music, at least in preludes. As a Latter-day Saint, we also wouldn't have pop tunes in a wedding, and as a sometimes wedding musician, there are some culturally common wedding tunes that bother me enormously on a theological level (All You Need Is Love, anybody? I Think I Wanna Marry You?)
No. 4 - Unique vows aren't forbidden for what we as Latter-day Saints call civil marriages solemnized in our church buildings by bishops, but they are for temple marriages. Again, in my wedding musician experience, I have heard some vows that have made me feel... well, I had to still appear dignified sitting at the front of the ceremony while hearing these things for the first time, regardless of my discomfort... anyway
No. 5 - I'm not sure or don't recall whether these words are used in civil marriages performed by my church, but I think we have a basic sense of declaring that the two people are married. I always appreciate learning about different theological ideas and traditions, and I think that this idea in Catholic practise sounds very reasonable and grounded in theological understanding.
Anyway, take care, and may the Lord be with you, Catholic friends.
I remember some weddings My uncle did to some of his nephews. I remember no walking with the wife, no custom vows and no "speak now or silencie forever" (Probably because I in specific would interfer the ceremony), but there it was pop music and a "spouse (male) and spouse (female)" because in spanish spouse is a gendered word.
My Catholic wedding was beautiful. Almost 19 years ago. We have a happy marriage and are blessed with a beautiful family. I love how we practice our faith in the Catholic Church and how we worship God through the sacraments like baptisms, the First Holy Communion, Confirmation, etc. My sons are raised Catholic and each of these moments have been truly special.
We had our kids go through all the sacraments when they were younger too - Than they left the faith.
@@sitka49 They will return my friend, they will.
@@discoverybricks3694 Not in my lifetime
Hello, I had a catholic wedding in Ireland. I am Singaporean and my wife is Irish.
We did the civil service wedding in Singapore and had the catholic one in Ireland. ✌️
Im happy you get a church wedding but did you confess the civil service wedding because its a sin.
@@juliusrendon5936 - Being a tad personal, there, aren’t you? We don’t know why they opted for a civil ceremony in one country and a religious ceremony in another, and it’s none of our business. In many countries, France being one, you must have the civil ceremony before the religious ceremony. And the Church obeys the law of the land.
@@Lavolanges ? The church obeys the Law of the Land? Well brother Catholic Church stand for 2000 years means its older than the oldest government, In addition Church separates from state in most countries that have freedom.
@@juliusrendon5936 - While marriage between two baptized Christians is a sacrament, marriage is also a legal entity. All countries define what is a legal marriage, and in many countries only a civil marriage ceremony is considered legal. While in Canada, the US, the UK, Australia, Poland, etc., priests and other religious ministers can be licensed by the State (so to speak) to celebrate legal marriages in the context of a religious ceremony, in other countries like France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Hungary, Brazil, etc., only a civil marriage is considered valid. So the couple celebrates a legal ceremony, then has the religious ceremony to have their marriage recognized by the Church. I know that when a priest comes to my Canadian province to minister, one of the first things the bishop does is register that priest with the government so that he has legal standing to officiate at weddings.
@@Lavolanges and you assume that Im trad? Nahh thats some cult like I love Novus Ordo Mass, but thank you for the information i did not know that that some countries are like that
I serve as a Lector and Commentator at Catholic weddings and yes, it is the most beautiful one ❤
When we got married 40+ years ago, we expected to hear "I now pronounce....". Afterwards, I asked the priest when we were actually married. He said, yesterday when you signed the paperwork at the rehearsal.
I’m a catholic from southern India..we still follow the old catholic way,both the groom and the bride would enter the church with the parents and the priests after being blessed at the entrance of the church..
My in-laws are nominally Protestants and not religious, but they found our wedding mass very touching and meaningful. Sometimes tradition wins hearts and minds!
I’m so glad there’s a six month preparation. We’ve been married for 59 years and just had three weeks prep. It would’ve been very helpful.
The lighting of a “unity candle”. Not part of a Catholic wedding. The vows, the rings, and then receiving Holy Communion together, are sufficient signs of unity.
Our priest allowed a unity candle lighting immediately prior to the Mass, on the grounds that it wasn't part of the Mass.
Especially the Holy Eucharist.
Huh, we lit a unity candle in my Catholic wedding in 1991.
I beg your pardon, if you did have one in your Catholic wedding! I actually meant it is not an official part of the normal rite.
During the 80s-90s, it was actually pretty common to allow unity candle ceremonies during the nuptial Mass even though they weren't part of the actual rite, because it was trendy and also the church at that time was a bit...lax. My parents had one at theirs. Nowadays, the Church expressly does not allow unity candles (or similar rituals) at all during the nuptial Mass. Although I imagine a couple very set on doing one could have it at their reception.
#5 - That's absolutely true. My wife and I were not announced. Nope, the lasso was removed, we got up, turned around, and that was that.
Thank you Fr. I grew up Catholic but rarely have seen a Catholic wedding. I was away for a long while and have come home to the Catholic Church. I have such an appreciation for placing God first especially for wedding vows. Very special ❤🕊️✝️
All of these really make sense! Thank you for the information Father. God bless you 🙏🏻😇
A priest we had once ppointed out that at a Catholic wedding, the sacrament is conferred on each other by the couple - the priest is only there to witness for the church, and to make sure their covenant is valid.
Hello Fr Casey, another great video. Always find your videos informative and sometimes (with your great sense of humour) entertaining. God bless you and to all those also watching. ✝️🌹🇨🇦
I know a lot of people love them, but I've always disliked self-written vows. While each marriage is different, what defines it as a marriage is largely contained in those vows, and that should be the same so we all know what we're talking about when we use the word.
Than you for this video. I attended my very first Catholic wedding this June. It was my own. I wish I had seen this before my wedding. Would have been nice to know information. Hope others learn something new from this as well. Bless you Fr Casey
Really helpful! Amazing how much movies and shows have muddles our understanding of what is and is not essential for a Sacramental marriage! Thank you, Father!
Thanks father. This is so meaningful.
My daughter’s Catholic wedding will be on Dec7.
I’m gona share this.
God bless
I congratulate you on an honest and forthright appraisal of where parts of the Church are today. May you continue to speak with honesty and integrity.
I was married in the Catholic Church in 1976.....our songs: Today (John Denver) entrance, The Wdding Song (Paul Stooky), Peace Where the Heart Is (Jim Brickman) and Annie 's Song ( John Denver) when we walked out....all were played by guitar & soloist. It was BEAUTIFUL and all were played on pop radio.
Perfect...would be my choice too... Catholic Matrimony has no rich wedding song or chant trad whatsoever...none apart from Ave Maria and Ave verum if you are lucky!!!!!!!!
...and a good organist which is not the same as professional choirs singing superb settings of wedding psalms and the ordinary of the Mass Pro Spider....
Pro Sposae..... sorry
We have nothing.... nothing....so your thoughtful choices were fantastic...
I'm not Catholic, but my wedding 34 years ago was pretty much every one of those things. No giving away, we walked down together, (proceeded by the pastors, both sets of parents, and our attendants ) sacred music only, no big pronouncement, etc. I had a few people tell me my wedding was "weird", but we did what we wanted and what we felt made sense to us rather than worrying about traditions. (We also didn't do bouquet toss, cut the first slice of cake, etc.)
What I like most about us Catholics is we don’t divorce. When we say “till death do us part” we mean it!. Wife and I will be 17 years in September. Mom and dad fought like cats and dogs but remained together for 51 years before my father passed at 69. God bless all the Catholic couples out there especially those going through hard times. Bring your marriage to Jesus. Much love and respect. Your brother in Christ, Lazarus.
I know of a lot of Catholics that divorce
@@Wgaither1 They are not practicing their Faith. 🙁
I think marriage should always be taken very seriously, but when a husband is violent the wife should be able to leave him and have the chance to find love with another person. Is a spouse is always cheating, then they broke the vows, so the other spouse should be able to leave them.
@@Wgaither1Sure, but a civil divorce can't dissolve the sacrament. In the eyes of God and of the Church, the couple is still married unless some reason can be discovered that would have made the marriage invalid. Only after such a marriage is declared null are the couple no longer husband and wife.
@@dianaf.s.1345 A divorce is a civil proceeding to divide up the assets of a married couple. There is nothing wrong with that. I is remarriage that is wrong, or rather sleeping with someone not your wife, because your marriage has not been annulled.
Fr it's the BEATles.
I was wondering why there would be bugs at any wedding.
😂😂😂
Oh no, got hit by autocorrect. The worst kind of bug around.
@@webz3589 Entomologists can get married too.
@@kilandrayeuxdoux2804 It's not a bug....it's a feature ;)
This is weird! We are Catholics and we got married in the Catholic Church. Our pastor did ask who gives this woman, to which my Father replied, "her Mother and I do." We didn't have pop (secular) music, but we did have Contemporary Christian music. Neither of us can remember if our pastor asked if anyone knew of any reason why we could not be married. Maybe he said that jokingly at the rehearsal? It was almost 34 years ago. We were not allowed to add any personal elements to our vows. At the end of the wedding we were pronounced man and wife, but I suspect that that is a legal statement required by The province where we were married. It irked me that our pastor insisted that he could only pronounce us 'man and wife' and not 'husband and wife.' After all, my husband was a man before we got married. His status should have changed just as much as mine did.
It’s an option in the Roman Rite to include “who gives this woman.” It just makes the good padre uncomfortable.
If you got married 34 years ago, then that tracks. The church in the 80s-90s was notably pretty lax about incorporating secular and Protestant traditions into Catholic nuptial Masses, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if these things happened at your wedding. In the early 00's they started cracking down on that stuff, and now the Church expressly disallows a lot of secular/Protestant traditions (unity candle, sand pouring, non-sacred music, etc).
@@Shadeadder We had a unity candle too!
His status did change, but I agree that it would be more powerful to say husband.
@@joyfulsongstress3238 Yep, my parents were married in '87 and had a unity candle too. My mom was surprised when I told her later that it's a secular tradition and not Christian in origin; she didn't know that since practically everyone did it back then. Nowadays they aren't allowed at Catholic wedding - I was pleasantly surprised when our priest told us that.
“If you didn’t say it, you didn’t do it.” (Westley in “The Princess Bride”) The vows ARE the wedding; the couple does that themselves. ♥️ it!
I am an Orthodox Catholic. I think we have the most beautiful, God honoring, weddings. When we had our marriage Blessed in the church we didnt have any vows, we were bound together with crowns that had a ribbon connecting them, and we were processed around the marriage table with the priest. We had a liturgy and took communion together as a married couple. The whole ceremony was completely about us growing together in communion with each other and the Holy Trinity. I wish the west hadn't changed that so much. They are missing out on the mysticism of Holy Matrimony😪☦
This was interesting, thank you!
Great summary.
Wedding banns required by canon law (three consecutive Sundays before the wedding day) also do away with the need for a dramatic 'speak now or forever hold your peace' moment.
Yep. They used to fill an entire page in our church bulletin.
I’m not catholic and all he said makes sense. I had a protestant wedding but we didn’t wanted the music or the reading of vows. It looked very similar to the catholic way.
Thanks for this video
Duuude. "Hasta que la muerte nos separe" - Until death set us appart. I'm Mexican catholic, and those words in your video just made my hearth skip a beat, once again. I pronunced them to my wife 18 years ago, and I remember being panicked and unsure about everything BUT that. When I said those vows, I just felt affirmation that she was the one. The one woman I wanted to say those words to. We've been through better and worse indeed, but she's still the one.
I had a true Catholic wedding with Mass, gregorian chant, communion, Latin, all of it. My father in law did walk my wife down the aisle, I had to allow him to live that experience at least once in his life.
Wow! You said it! Covered the waterfront! Every engaged couple should see this and listen carefully, prayerfully asking the Holy Spirit to lead them. Wonderful, straight to the point summary of the Catholic wedding rite. Thank you very, very much. (I wish all my children would listen to you 👑✝️🕊️♥️🙏)
Yep! Sister's wedding is today! Kind of a coincidence to see this here a couple of hours before I have to leave for it. 😅
For American weddings, I've long felt a short pamphlet explaining the wedding ceremony to Protestants (and the plainly secular) would be appropriate, as they can indeed get confused. I really tripped up my side of the family as we did the whole wedding in Spanish. Yo aun recuerdo mi votos, y lo haré todos los dias de mi vida.
We provided (hopefully) helpful notes in the order of the mass guides we passed out.
My husband and I had a catholic wedding a few months ago. We only needed to provide our baptismal certificates and attend two preparational meetings with our priest to discuss what parts from the scripture we wanted to be read, how we wanted to exchange our vows (there were several options) and for him to get know us. No intense questioning, no preparational classes or anything like that.
It varies by diocese. Most have pretty rigorous requirements now regarding pre-Cana wedding prep, but you might have just been unlucky and your diocese only does the bare minimum (e.g. making sure you're both baptized Catholics). It's been a gradual change over the last two decades.
@@Shadeadderseems like a weekend workshop now for most. Fast track it and get it over with lol. (Joking).
But I always thought it was 6 wk courses not six months?
@@emilylednicky6718 Some diocese ask you to do a weekend retreat, some will have you meet up a few times with an older "mentor" couple, a few just require meeting with the priest to talk. It really varies. More and more also require the couple take an NFP class.
It's not six months of courses, but the Church typically requires engagements be at least 6 months. I think the bishop can grant exceptions (e.g. military couples) but it's generally to discourage rushed, poorly thought out, or coerced marriages.
Well, that seems substandard.
Our program is called Engaged Encounter.
As a Spaniard growing up surrounded by American movies and British culture, this video was very interesting. It made me realise that I had both kinds of weddings mixed up in my head and for me both versions sounded normal in most cases let's say. But it's nice to be able to distinguish which is which, thanks ❤
My personal favorite part when presiding over a Wedding is the Nuptial Blessing. The vows are the couple's part. The Nuptial Blessing is the presider's.
In Catholic ceremonies usually instead of pronouncing the couple man and wife, in order to make the crowd applaud, the priest says "and what God has joint together, shall not be split by the man.. you may kiss the bride".
And as a very inarticulate Catholic, it's a relief that if I marry "writing my vows" is already taken away from the list of stuff to stress about 😅
Getting married in the church next year this was a fun insight into whats to come. 😊
That's so neat to hear about other religions and groups' wedding customs...
In most jewish weddings, the groom walks down the aisle with his parents and then the bride with her parents .. Less religious, the couple walk down the aisle together and super ultra religious the groom with both fathers and the bride with both mothers.
The ceremony can be customized but has a specific outline - pre ceremony marriage contract (ketuba) then at the ceremony is the 7 blessings and the ring is given and after everything is said and done the groom steps on the glass and then everyone shouts mazal tov and the guests escort the newlyweds to the yichud room ( allowing the couple a few minutes to decompress and enjoy each other's company in private for the first time as marrieds)
Then there's the reception which vastly varies and depends on what the couple wants and whoever is paying for the wedding
Yup, got married by a Minister 31 years ago. In the first 10 years, I converted to Catholicism as was my husband s family. Renewed vows one week before my Confirmation. Everything you said was true. We basically had a second wedding and from the music to the rituals, yep spot on.
In my country (the Philippines), there's always this insistence (mostly by wedding coordinators) to close the church doors prior to the entrance of the bride, often for dramatic effect. Some of the priests I've talked to said that this "opening of the door" is not really a part of the celebration of the Holy Matrimony.
Most of the Catholic nuptials I have attended featured Pachelbel's Canon as processionary music for the wedding entourage.
As to number 3, may I add, most churches here include marriage banns in their announcements, months or weeks ahead of the upcoming nuptials so that any concerns regarding a particular bride, groom or both getting married may be reported ahead of time. Many parishes also post notices on their bulletin boards for similar purposes.
Probably my favourite line from the anglican service. "Those whome God has Joined together let no man (sometimes rendered person) tear assunder". Which i suppose is also missing from the catholic service
This actually is included in the Catholic wedding mass, right after the exchange of vows!
Oh me too, this is the time the tears came down
That's part of the Catholic nuptial Mass. It's actually a pretty important scripture quote in Catholic theology, because it's the major source of our belief that marriage is indissoluble, so they definitely make sure to include it in the ceremony lol.
This priest looks too intelligent and knowledgeable for his age. I've followed most of his videos. I think he has a special grace from God.
My wife and I were married in 1986. Our songs were: Entrance, The Rose; Offertory, Here I Am Lord; Communion, All I Ask of You; Recessional, The Wedding Song.
Well put! VERY interesting and very well thought-out.
I've never noticed these differences before! Thank you, very informative and interesting.
Gahhhhh! Catholic weddings are so beautiful in their meaning!
I love that you talk about the choice of music. In less than 6 hours, I will be playing at a wedding and they asked for me to play "Sign of the times" and "Sarà perchè ti amo" on the organ.. horrible choice imho
That was beautiful and concise. I am a Catholic from India . I thought the Hollywood movie weddings were how all weddings were done in those countries and didn’t think that it was the Protestant format. Weddings here are done exactly as Father explained, except it is in our language and culture.
The “traditional” English-language marriage ceremony that people are used to in the modern day has its roots in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer, which in turn derived much of its material from the pre-Reformation Sarum Rite.
The first Book of Common Prayer did include asking both the congregation (as well as the betrothed!) if they knew of any impediment to marriage “or hold their peace” - e.g. they were related, they were previously or currently married, they were not baptized, etc. The Roman rite, as far as I know, does have the questioning of the groom and bride, just not the congregation.
The Book of Common Prayer also has the presentation of the bride by the father, though it doesn’t necessarily have to be-in cases of an absent or deceased father it may be another relative or a friend. This is rooted in tradition, and not a modern invention, though like most liturgies that evolve, some Common Prayer books these days no longer have this language.
I've actually never been to a Catholic wedding despite being a lifelong Catholic, and it's been years since my last protestant wedding, so hearing this is good to know in case I attend a Catholic Wedding in the future!
My wife and I are Anglican. The Anglican service is close enough to the Roman Catholic service that we knew what was happening when we went to a co-worker's wedding in a Croatian-speaking church. Fitty two plus years ago, our wedding service included the Eucharist. It could not include the wedding march from Lohengrin because that was secular music. I think that rule has been relaxed since 1972.
That Lohengrin piece - if more people knew the plot of the opera and the original presentation of that piece, they might not be so keen on using it at a real wedding 😅
As a catholic that has just gotten engaged to a protestant, this video is exactly what I needed. We've been having a very difficult time agreeing on what we want for the wedding as I want something more traditional and she would prefer something in a garden and more secular.
Wishing you luck on that. Denominational differences on things like this can be really tough to figure out. Does she understand that having a Catholic ceremony is a non-negotiable part of marrying you? If so, maybe you can compromise on the reception and have that incorporate a lot of the elements she wanted for the ceremony (in a garden with some of the more secular traditions).
It's usually the brides choice. Make sure your priest is there as a witness.
This is how I've seen weddings done between protestants and catholics but they were always in a church 🤷♀️.
Old catholic work around by just asking to get your marriage blessed at a later date. Lol
have you gone to premarital counseling so that you can discuss your differences? However, I would imagine that neither are practicing Catholic or Protestant because the Bible tells us that we are not to be 'unequally yoked' -- that our faith beliefs need to match because if they don't -- there will be troubles down the road 😞
@@emilylednicky6718 Using convalidation as a "work around" in order to having a secular wedding is, uh.... well I'm pretty sure that would be abuse of the sacraments and therefore a sin. At best, it's still highly morally questionable.
@@Shadeadder I hear you.
Great video! I always think that the symbolism of having one's father come down the aisle with the daughter expresses an idea of a "life change", from your parents to your husband. Tbh, I find it beautiful, not sexist at all, with the new meaning to it
I'm a protestant and I have never been to a wedding where the bride is handed over by her father. Not a tradition in Germany. Women are not property of their fathers any more!
Well, I don’t know about handing over, but in our wedding my wife’s uncle who was the one with the father role walked her down the aisle. My wife was very happy about it. And I think for some men it is a physical act to help with the psychological processes of not being the primary protector of their little girl.
@@mystdragon8530 Most women are not little girls any more when they get married. In my circle, most were around 30.
In Italy, it is customary not to kiss the bride or groom inside the church during the wedding ceremony. This tradition stems from a deep respect for the sacred nature of the location. Instead, the first kiss as a married couple typically takes place outside the church, where it is seen as a more appropriate and respectful gesture. Of course this might vary according to each priest, at my wedding we kissed outside de Church. :)
Yes, I opted to wait for our kiss. We have a lovely picture of our kiss at the reception, away from the crowd.
Here in England, most older people know the words to the marriage ceremony in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer originally written by Thomas Cranmer. "Daily beloved we are gathered here in the sight of God. They have almost become part of the language, including things like "if anyone knows any lawful impediment why these two may not be married, may he speak now or forever hold his peace". The words are rather beautiful (as are the words to the funeral ceremony). But not Catholic.
You mean dearly beloved not daily???
@@anniegolden1304Autocorrect thought it knew better...
Here in India, the couple walk down the Aisle with the priest and altar servers. Also there are three announcements on 3 consecutive sundays about the "If anyone knows of ...... it is a mortal sin",
When I got married, the groom and I walked down the aisle together after priests 😊
Ditto in the Episcopal Church. I walked myself down the aisle on February 3,1979. My father died in November 1971.
I was happy to walk down the aisle with my dear father. Then I released his arm to join the man I chose to marry, at the altar before God. It includes the idea of leaving our parents to become one in the sacrament of matrimony.
I love the simpelheid van de Catholic wedding. I am going to remember this.👍🏻
In a Eastern (Byzantine) Rite wedding, the bride and the groom
walking down the aisle together because they're considered equal.
Read about marriage in the Catholic Catechism. The sacrament is beautiful and remarkable. The mutual commitment almost transcends individuality.
Thank you for explaining all that. This was a great post, very informative for us non-Catholic followers! Kudos.
Fun fact, the longest wedding I have been to wasn't even a Catholic wedding. It was a non-denominational wedding and it was 3 hours long.
Back in the 80s I sang at alot of Catholic weddings and the song rules were much more relaxed. You could have pop music before the mass but not during, unless the priest okayed it. When my husband and I got married in 1990, our priest left me use "my best judgement" with the music. I did. I chose a couple of popular songs before mass and only Catholic music during the mass. Also, as a church organist, I never played Here Comes the Bride as a prosessional. That was definitely a no no in the Catholic church.