i do have a piece of advice for that! remember that you haven’t dated them so you don’t know what they are even like in a relationship! take advantage of not knowing what they’re like as a partner and just know that they might not be as a amazing as you picture them to be. i’m sorry if that advice wasn’t helpful at all😅 i heard it from somewhere so i wanted to share it lol
My parents have always been the craziest example of how love works. They barely ever fight or have big arguments, they understand each other SO well and their relationship is really strong. They kinda set an unrealistic expectation of love for my brother and I hahahah because that’s literally not gonna happen to me
"why do i like men who treat me bad?" to be cheesy and to quote the perks of being a wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. i can only speak personally, but subconsciously i don't think i deserve to be treated well, so if i give my whole heart and soul to someone and they don't reciprocate, my brain justifies it as it being the right thing. i think it also comes form how you were exposed to love growing up (i.e parents, media) if you were never shown healthy expressions of love then it's internalized and you project it into your own life. this is a realization i just made about myself like 2 days ago lmao
@@MS-dk3qb i never claimed it was lol i just assumed everyone knew it was from perks... i guess i should clarify that it is a quote though so i'll edit it
@@rottenhannah I am sorry if it came across mean, i never assumed you meant it with those thoughts! I just had a smile on my face because you didn't specified where it's from. English is my second language I shouldn't have phrased it that way.
I loooooove the fact that you quote the perks of being a wallflower. I wrote an entire essay about that quote, and I will never forget it. We accept the love we think we deserve. Remember that
“Break is like a death” literally YESSSSSS. I’ve always said that. My first real boyfriend. We dated from 7th-9th. And bro, when we broke up. I nearly died. Worst pain. 3 years later we got back together. And now we’re on year 2. I love this man. And if it’s meant to be you’ll know.
The love lasting thing.... don't confuse it with passion. That's how you get into bad relationships in the first place. Being sexually obsessed with someone doesn't mean you love them, love comes with actual years, how can you possibly love someone you barely even know. Love only comes once you heard that person take 5 sh*ts in one day and woke you up with their bad breath in your face, and you had like 5 fights every day for a week but you were still able to appreciate that person and what she brings to your life. Is not like yo he/she makes me laugh and I think about him/her twice a day and I seriously want to take his/her pants off all the time. That's why people should find more freedom in their sexuality and not think physically desiring someone means anything but finding pleasure in something fun that no you don't have to create anything on top of and no it doesn't have to mean anything. Love doesn't fade, passion does. Plus, the problem with failed relationships is not lack of love but people thinking only love is enough.
This video gave me the strength to turn down a guy that I know because I’m not happy alone. I crave that person who will help me through everything Im going through but I realize now that’s not healthy. I have to fight for a healthy relationship with myself first. Thank you Luna💛
@@LunaMontana So what am I supposed to do here? What'd I hit? Oh no I'm one of the bad ones aren't i? Yeahheh! I got it didn't I? Shooting blanks every time. All the time. Hey squeaky bois! Gimme sum of your bullets! Yeah that's right. Little bullseye. Uhh. Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective! Hey squeaky bois! How'd I do? Standing down. Yeah. Let's do this! Wait! Wait wait wait wait wait! Let's go and do this! You can't fire me I quiiiit! Let's get it done! Waaaait! Wait!
it’s weird before i had a boyfriend, i didn’t think much of myself when i met him, i had already begun to start to see the boss i am now i have a boyfriend, he has helped me see my beauty but God forbid if we breakup, that’s not going to go away I know my worth now, and i love that he has helped me see that, but again that’s not going to disappear ever
‘Switch culture’ is something I definitely related to doing. Realizing that self love is vital for inner peace & happiness makes all the difference in ones relationship. Breaking up is hard to do, I’m so thankful you are doing what is best for YOU
I have figured there are two ways of getting over boys you haven't dated: stop actively flirting with them and act as if you are friends (literally fake it till you make it), and secondly stop stalking them on social media. Then, time will do its magic
For people wondering about hookups and the emotions after it really depends on you but always remember that you’re not any less of a person if you have casual sex and enjoy hooking up with people. As long as you enjoy it and it’s consensual that’s what matters. Also don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like or don’t like.
You describe your emotions and what you were going through with so much eloquency. Part of recognizing that you are in an unhealthy relationship is having the vocabulary to explain what it is about it that doesn't feel right. You are putting a very positive example out there, I've also been in relationships where my "spark was dulled" but struggled to recognize the issue... I feel proper sisterhood watching these girl talk videos ! xx
I think it’s kinda toxic to think you need to fully love yourself for a relationship. There are many people with mental illnesses who can’t exactly love themselves but they are still worthy of a relationship. Ofc you gotta work on yourself and not put all your hopes and feelings in the hand of the other but it IS possible to have a healthy relationship when you don’t fully love yourself. Seeking validation in the other person and selflove are separate topics. Communication is key. It’s going to be hard but it’s possible.
YES, and there is a similar saying "You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself". BULLSHIT! Of course you can. Also, for mental illnesses, It will be a very hard journey and emotionally challenging, but you still can.
I don’t think she was saying that people who struggle with loving themselves can’t be in a loving relationship. It seems like she was just highlighting how important it is to not rely on another person for your happiness/validation.
@@aysenurozen6574 I think there’s such a thin line, but I get what Luna is trying to say. When you’re vulnerable you start relying on other people and start drawing from them to love/feel good about yourself, and that’s not good for you or your partner. So in a sense, loving yourself or being sure of yourself and not dependent on someone else does improve and bring forth a healthier relationship. This doesn’t mean those who are insecure or have negative perceptions of themselves can’t love someone, it just affects the health and growth of their relationship.
@@corneliastreets it can affect the relationship but I, for that matter, have mental issues and I’m in a very healthy relationship with someone who is also struggling with mental health. That’s what I mean: it’s possible. And it’s important to make that clear because people struggling with those issues are often seen as incapable of healthy love but that’s just not true at all. It just means a tad bit more of work and communication (which is actually always important). I really don’t like myself often times but you can learn to not rely on someone else for validation. Self love and toxic validation-need don’t necessarily go hand in hand and if it’s something you struggle with it’s 100% possible to learn that with someone who allows you to communicate those insecurities and get over them. I just wanted to make clear that you don’t have to love yourself 100% to either love someone else or have a healthy relationship.
I completely related to a lot of this. Especially being really co-dependent in my first relationship. One thing my therapist asked me was “for the next relationship, how will you better protect yourself and make sure that you will be okay?”. I think that’s a really good question :)
I'm not even done listening to your girl talk but I already resonate with you so much with your break up and your relationships. My ex was my first love, bf and I experience many things with him. I chose to stay single til I was 22 because I just love my independent and didn't find anyone I love enough to be with before him. when covid hit, I couldn't see my friends and I also didn't know how to balance my own life outside of our relationship and got co dependent on him. I didn't like who I was becoming even though it's my first relationship, I've learn sm from the break up about myself, my morals, standards, what I want in a partner and things I need to work on within myself. post break up was so hard I kissed 2 guys and felt gross afterward because I just didn't have any emotional bond with them. From that I realized hook up culture was not for me. Everyone cope differently and sometimes I wish I can date around and hook up with ppl, and just have fun but its so rare for me to ever develop feelings for someone therefore when I do I invest my all in them and this time I lost myself. I know learn that, if you love something you have to let it go. The only way to be happy is to focus our energy towards goals, not people or things.
These are always my favorite videos of yours because they start discussions on topics no one else is talking about but everyone should be talking about.
you are a year or two younger than me but you are genuinely the best role model. i wish i had someone like you growing up. thank you for your honesty Luna, you're truly an angel 💛
yess thank you!! to everyone who reads this: you deserve to have your 10/10. and you will have it. your needs and boundaries and wildest dreams are not too much!! what you need to be happy is not askin for too much!! its asking for the minimum of what you deserve!!
I have advice for being ghosted! Firstly, thank you for making this video, it is sooo relatable! I'm a bit older than you and have had two serious relationships that I've learnt a lot from. I feel like this is such a universal experience that no one knows if true love/lasting love/the one blah blah exists but I think its important to continually work on yourself anyway :) At the end of the day, partner or not, it's your responsibility to hype yourself up! Regarding ghosting: It takes a while to practise but the best thing I learnt was to respect myself enough to move on. It seems like a magnetic pull that if someone is sending mixed signals that you should just wait and see. Although its painful (temporarily) to do so, I just tell myself that it would be clear if someone was interested and since I get anxiety from the unknown, I just try to trust the process and move on! Its actually so empowering to know that you deserve to be treated decently. Similarly, if you have a tendency to ghost others, it's also really great to self reflect on that because a lot of the times, we are too scared to be truthful in our communication (which is likely what has happened when you do get ghosted) and no one deserves to be treated that way, despite it happening very commonly.
I don't really think, that there will be a specific day, where you finally can say "okay now I love myself" or "oh now I'm finally happy". There will come days, where you don't like the feeling of being you, and there will come days, where you think that you are amazing and beautiful. But loving yourself, is enjoying your own company so much, that you don't need other people to for-fill you, and make you feel whole. Loving yourself is a life-long process, and there aren't no stop line. I love you
okay i know nobody asked but this is what i’ve learned: - NEVER go into a relationship just because you’re lonely: that’ll hurt so badly when y’all break up (even though you’re going to be stronger and more independent than ever afterwards) - ALWAYS listen to your heart when it just doesn’t feel right, this feeling never lies - are you really in love or are you just in love with the feeling? that’s a serious question you should ask yourself - NEVER give up anything you like to do just because of him / her! you’ll regret that A LOT and lemme tell you that’s not worth it - NEVER let your partner influence your life! just because (s)he wants to spend time with you, doesn’t mean you always have to be available, it’s YOUR life so do tf you have / want to do - NEVER neglect your friends bc of a relationship, those are the ones that were there first, don’t forget that! ❤️❤️ love u Luna, even though we’re the same age and therefore you’re not an older sister to me, it’s always refreshing to listen to someone else’s experiences! Would love to meet u in real life somewhen xoxo from germany
One of the best girl talk videos♥️ Loved it. You answer all the questions that all of us are too afraid to ask their parents/siblings. Thank u queen 👸🏼🤍
My big sis advice on relationships: as someone in my 20s, and have been in couple serious relationships, and now creating a life with my man, I think it’s REALLY IMPORTANT to differentiate between a relationship when you’re 16 and relationship when you’re 20smthng creating a life together. The expectations when you’re 16 should include you’re happiness etc, and should not have sacrifices. Where when you’re 20+ you need to make sure that you both want the same things (lifestyle, career paths, kids) or that your needs and dreams are compatible. I regret that I sacrificed myself in a relationship when I was 16-18, because I treated it as an end-goal relationship and sacrificed too much. It was difficult to find mysef again.
Same thing happened to me and it took me about a year to realize. Probably because "falling out of love" doesn't feel like a valid reason if there's not some kind of drama involved. so thank you for talking about this!
Hi! About the ghosting part, i don’t know if this advice helps but i read somewhere that you shouldn’t blame yourself because if someone decides to disappear out of your life like that (apart from not being enough for you) it’s just a sign that they lack from the communication skills to talk about things and to tell you what they want, which it show not only immaturity but also that there would have been more problems in the long run.
To the person who said "I feel so guilty and ashamed after sex", I've put a list of questions below that are things that you could ask yourself to get to the root of the problem: 1) do you actually like (or love) the person you are having sex with? 2) is it always their idea or is it your idea too? 3) are you doing things that you aren't actually comfortable with? It's common for people to have sex before they are ready to and that's okay, but what's not okay/healthy is to continue doing things that bring negative emotions. I would also recommend talking to a professional because there could be underlying issues. Sex is beautiful, sex is instinctual, and sex is fun and I hope you can experience that yourself!
Luna you are so beautiful inside and out. Me and my boyfriend broke up year ago (after 4 years relationship) and it's so hard even now. But after all I love myself more then ever and it's the most important thing :)
As a 27 year old woman who has a similar mentality as Luna, I would give you the following advices (I am in my second relationship, first one lasted 5 years, I have been in this one for more than 2 years now). Love stays but it transforms I think. It's deeper because you get to know the faults of the other not just the nice parts. If you are looking for a long-term, serious relationship you need to have a list of goals, traits that you think are important for your future, for your happiness and your significant other should have those. My example is that I would like to have children, animals and besides that I don't want to be a stay at home mom/wife/girlfriend ("traditional" wives have all my respect, it's just not sg that I personally want). So my list is/was: 1. has to love children, 2. he has to have the qualifications to be able to find a job with which we can provide for our children (with my salary together). 3. he has to love or at least tolerate having pets and 4. he has to support me in my goals. Don't try to change someone and don't listen to people who want to change you because every kind if change has to come from the inside. This also means that you need to accept the other as he/she is. Whatever is important to you at your point in life. For the breakup part: my song was Elastic Heart from Sia. I agree with Luna that a clean cut is needed. And you should tell yourself that it will be better and you are strong, you can survive this. Then you will and it will get better ! :)
LUNA THIS IS MY FAVOURITE VIDEO EVER. I think generally you hold back in the girl talk videos, but in this one you opened up and it feels so good. Also, I love your personality so much. (When you stood up and said I hope i didnt hear that come out your mouth lmao) Please do more videos like this and LONGER! LOVE YOU!
number ONE her style is AMAZING LIKE WTF her fit is amazing with the shirt 👚 ahhh number 2 MORE PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH HER VIDS she had spot on advice and style and an amazing personality IM SO GLAD I FOUND U LUNA k bye 💖💞💕💞✨😍🌟😍
This could not have come at a more perfect time for me like no joke I’m actually shook (my hook up buddy just ended things today cause he’s started seeing someone) - so THANK YOU xx
I share the opinion on love lasting so much. I thought I was the only one. It just feels irrealistic to me bc you spend years and years with the same person and it’s guaranteed that you’re going to change and I don’t think that it’s possible to change so much and still be in the same vibe and be in a healthy relationship.
Luna, love from Poland❤️ You are so brave, it takes courage to do the right thing for us when the expectations of others, including the ones we love and value, are so different from what we need. Keep going🌷🌱
Aww Luna!! I loved this! You’re so genuine and helpful for all the girls that need someone to look up 🥺❤️ I loved this video and I think you were very respectful and sincere!! Thank you for this, I would have loved this dealing with my first breakup but I got through it and yes time heals all wounds ❤️❤️
I will say I think it’s definitely possible to be friends with an ex, but timing really plays into it!! I’m best friends with my ex but we needed to have a break initially when we broke up to process the breakup and to grow as individuals before we were ready to be friends again not that it works for everyone, but depends on your situation and why the breakup happened in the first place :)
Wow, this helped me so much. I've never had a partner and recently haven't been dealing well with being alone especially since all my friends have partners but your advice reminded me to continue to work on myself first because even though I'm growing so much I still am not 100% loving me and your video was a much needed reminder.
even through all the heartbreak I believe love can last. I hope someday your mind changes on love not lasting cause that makes me sad and I truly believe it does and can if there’s two people who truly love and care for one another
lmao yes WHY are there no breakup songs about being the one who ended things! literally just broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago so this was right on time for me thank u
she’s so inspiring and makes me feel so comfortable learning about stuff that i’m not comfortable enough with my mom to talk about and i don’t have anyone else to talk to except my 2 closest cousins❤️
All these issues are implemented as feminine issues (not girl issues, feminine issues) and it makes me so mad how much I suffered and struggled while boys never even had to dedicate a single second to these things because whatever. Misogyny in our society basically forces girls to behave in this submissive way that we (the feminine roles) are the ones that have to have personality crises cause of a crush... after years I just think what would a boy do in my position and that's how I behave, funny enough that's when boys won't leave you alone. Once you don't take boysh*it anymore all these problems just disappear...
@@catherineli5681 I agree, it doesn't. But for our patriarchal society, it does. It's the way feminine roles are portrayed and that's what I meant, like, the feminine role is the one supposed to go through identity crises because of a crush, to give up on their friends and hobbies, and basically whatever else this person wants to do/say. She's the one supposed to hang out with the male role's friends and get along with them and accept them for who they are and do what they want to do. It's the feminine role that is supposed to make concessions and accept, while the male role doesn't have to do the same. So I meant that basically f*ck that and is not because I'm the girl or the feminine role in the relationship that I have to fit these and go through these, but thank you for adding that because I just read my comment and realized that in fact this wasn't clear.
Lose you to love me by Selena Gomez was a song that really resonated with me when I broke up with my boyfriend! I realised that I needed to work on loving myself for myself and I couldn’t do that with him
I have never summarized my last relationships problems better than you did codependency and feeing the urge to go to therapy. I think the good and healthy breakups are especially hard because you want to hate them but you can't, when people talk ship about them you eel the urge to defend them and you want to be friends with them but you shouldn't because it really hurts. You losebest friend
Literally we are the same age but I do feel like you're my biggest sis. And I love that and appreciate your advices.❤ So THANK YOU. Un abrazo desde Mexico!
I wood love if you wood talk about how you deal with wanting to archief what other people are because I do the same thing and I really don't know how to Stop it.
You should look up your attachment style. Everything you're saying is similar to me and my past relationship, and looking up my attatchnent style really helped me with myself and for future partners.
As someone who’s been ghosted and done the ghosting i have advice! So if you’ve been ghosted, I doubt any of you angels were like the people I’ve had to ghost so if you didn’t have an argument or blatantly disrespect them then this advice is for you. First of all, remember that they clearly weren’t the person the universe sent you (if you believe in that). It wasn’t meant to be and that’s totally okay! If they ghosted you maybe they didn’t feel a connection and they were too anxious to say anything while it’s not nice, they’re saving you from boring dates in the long run. Everyone gets ghosted in this day and age so don’t get into the headspace that it’s something to do with you personally, you just gotta hold your head up and keep it moving. Trust me, now that I found my perfect relationship all the ghosting and being stood up is worth it because it led me to her ❤️
omg i just like refound your Channel and now i am just watching all of your Recent Videos and i loved the Girls Talk vids and now you just uploaded a new one yayyyy 💕✨ and keep going you‘re amazing and you Build me up thank you so muchhh 🥰
chile am i the only one that had no idea luna and kai broke up- i genuinely thought she was so happy aw well I'm so happy for you luna and your self love journey
the part when she talks about how to get over a boy you never dated💀 ME
Omg same i was waiting for an answer lmao
@@violetarebuffobruera7026 right!! I need help
LITERALLY my only love life experience...answers or therapy needed lol
same lol
i do have a piece of advice for that! remember that you haven’t dated them so you don’t know what they are even like in a relationship! take advantage of not knowing what they’re like as a partner and just know that they might not be as a amazing as you picture them to be. i’m sorry if that advice wasn’t helpful at all😅 i heard it from somewhere so i wanted to share it lol
when you whispered "i have daddy issues" i felt that
luna is literally the big sister we all need
edit: thanks for all the likes!
can we talk about the makeup hair and shirt!? Giving us major 2000s vibes and I'm here for it 🙋🏼♀️
Yes! I love this style Luna does!
My parents have always been the craziest example of how love works. They barely ever fight or have big arguments, they understand each other SO well and their relationship is really strong. They kinda set an unrealistic expectation of love for my brother and I hahahah because that’s literally not gonna happen to me
That’s so cute that they are so in love though, I kinda wish my parents were more like that sometimes
"why do i like men who treat me bad?" to be cheesy and to quote the perks of being a wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. i can only speak personally, but subconsciously i don't think i deserve to be treated well, so if i give my whole heart and soul to someone and they don't reciprocate, my brain justifies it as it being the right thing. i think it also comes form how you were exposed to love growing up (i.e parents, media) if you were never shown healthy expressions of love then it's internalized and you project it into your own life. this is a realization i just made about myself like 2 days ago lmao
I think we both know that that quote is not from you, but I like your movie taste 👍
@@MS-dk3qb i never claimed it was lol i just assumed everyone knew it was from perks... i guess i should clarify that it is a quote though so i'll edit it
@@rottenhannah I am sorry if it came across mean, i never assumed you meant it with those thoughts! I just had a smile on my face because you didn't specified where it's from. English is my second language I shouldn't have phrased it that way.
I loooooove the fact that you quote the perks of being a wallflower. I wrote an entire essay about that quote, and I will never forget it. We accept the love we think we deserve. Remember that
@@MS-dk3qb no worries at all! i'm glad that such a wonderful book and movie can connect so many of us:)
“Break is like a death” literally YESSSSSS. I’ve always said that. My first real boyfriend. We dated from 7th-9th. And bro, when we broke up. I nearly died. Worst pain. 3 years later we got back together. And now we’re on year 2. I love this man. And if it’s meant to be you’ll know.
The love lasting thing.... don't confuse it with passion. That's how you get into bad relationships in the first place. Being sexually obsessed with someone doesn't mean you love them, love comes with actual years, how can you possibly love someone you barely even know. Love only comes once you heard that person take 5 sh*ts in one day and woke you up with their bad breath in your face, and you had like 5 fights every day for a week but you were still able to appreciate that person and what she brings to your life. Is not like yo he/she makes me laugh and I think about him/her twice a day and I seriously want to take his/her pants off all the time. That's why people should find more freedom in their sexuality and not think physically desiring someone means anything but finding pleasure in something fun that no you don't have to create anything on top of and no it doesn't have to mean anything. Love doesn't fade, passion does. Plus, the problem with failed relationships is not lack of love but people thinking only love is enough.
This video gave me the strength to turn down a guy that I know because I’m not happy alone. I crave that person who will help me through everything Im going through but I realize now that’s not healthy. I have to fight for a healthy relationship with myself first. Thank you Luna💛
I love you Queen! So proud
yes! yes! yes!
@@LunaMontana So what am I supposed to do here? What'd I hit? Oh no I'm one of the bad ones aren't i? Yeahheh! I got it didn't I? Shooting blanks every time. All the time. Hey squeaky bois! Gimme sum of your bullets! Yeah that's right. Little bullseye. Uhh. Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective! Hey squeaky bois! How'd I do? Standing down.
Yeah. Let's do this! Wait! Wait wait wait wait wait!
Let's go and do this! You can't fire me I quiiiit!
Let's get it done! Waaaait! Wait!
best advice: love is not just a feeling but a choice.
I was staring at your inner corner highlight the WHOLE TIME. also this advice is so solid, you always deliver the best. I love you so much.
*me: no relationship*
*me: watching this*
it’s weird
before i had a boyfriend, i didn’t think much of myself
when i met him, i had already begun to start to see the boss i am
now i have a boyfriend, he has helped me see my beauty
but God forbid if we breakup, that’s not going to go away
I know my worth now, and i love that he has helped me see that, but again that’s not going to disappear ever
Luna's Girl Talk series is a great way for young people to learn about relationships, understanding their experiences and feelings.
Let’s just appreciate her hair I- YES 👏 💜
(Edit: tysm for 250 likes!! 🥺)
Yesss She's beautiful!!
@@filipa8626 yess 🥺
‘Switch culture’ is something I definitely related to doing. Realizing that self love is vital for inner peace & happiness makes all the difference in ones relationship. Breaking up is hard to do, I’m so thankful you are doing what is best for YOU
I have figured there are two ways of getting over boys you haven't dated: stop actively flirting with them and act as if you are friends (literally fake it till you make it), and secondly stop stalking them on social media. Then, time will do its magic
For people wondering about hookups and the emotions after it really depends on you but always remember that you’re not any less of a person if you have casual sex and enjoy hooking up with people. As long as you enjoy it and it’s consensual that’s what matters. Also don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like or don’t like.
i simply love the fact she's the youngest sister but she plays the old sis role perfectly, she's awesome fr
You describe your emotions and what you were going through with so much eloquency. Part of recognizing that you are in an unhealthy relationship is having the vocabulary to explain what it is about it that doesn't feel right. You are putting a very positive example out there, I've also been in relationships where my "spark was dulled" but struggled to recognize the issue... I feel proper sisterhood watching these girl talk videos ! xx
I think it’s kinda toxic to think you need to fully love yourself for a relationship. There are many people with mental illnesses who can’t exactly love themselves but they are still worthy of a relationship. Ofc you gotta work on yourself and not put all your hopes and feelings in the hand of the other but it IS possible to have a healthy relationship when you don’t fully love yourself. Seeking validation in the other person and selflove are separate topics. Communication is key. It’s going to be hard but it’s possible.
YES, and there is a similar saying "You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself". BULLSHIT! Of course you can. Also, for mental illnesses, It will be a very hard journey and emotionally challenging, but you still can.
I don’t think she was saying that people who struggle with loving themselves can’t be in a loving relationship. It seems like she was just highlighting how important it is to not rely on another person for your happiness/validation.
@@liv7179 yeah you're right I got her I just wanted to draw attention to this 😊
@@aysenurozen6574 I think there’s such a thin line, but I get what Luna is trying to say. When you’re vulnerable you start relying on other people and start drawing from them to love/feel good about yourself, and that’s not good for you or your partner. So in a sense, loving yourself or being sure of yourself and not dependent on someone else does improve and bring forth a healthier relationship. This doesn’t mean those who are insecure or have negative perceptions of themselves can’t love someone, it just affects the health and growth of their relationship.
@@corneliastreets it can affect the relationship but I, for that matter, have mental issues and I’m in a very healthy relationship with someone who is also struggling with mental health. That’s what I mean: it’s possible. And it’s important to make that clear because people struggling with those issues are often seen as incapable of healthy love but that’s just not true at all. It just means a tad bit more of work and communication (which is actually always important). I really don’t like myself often times but you can learn to not rely on someone else for validation. Self love and toxic validation-need don’t necessarily go hand in hand and if it’s something you struggle with it’s 100% possible to learn that with someone who allows you to communicate those insecurities and get over them.
I just wanted to make clear that you don’t have to love yourself 100% to either love someone else or have a healthy relationship.
I completely related to a lot of this. Especially being really co-dependent in my first relationship. One thing my therapist asked me was “for the next relationship, how will you better protect yourself and make sure that you will be okay?”. I think that’s a really good question :)
I'm not even done listening to your girl talk but I already resonate with you so much with your break up and your relationships. My ex was my first love, bf and I experience many things with him. I chose to stay single til I was 22 because I just love my independent and didn't find anyone I love enough to be with before him. when covid hit, I couldn't see my friends and I also didn't know how to balance my own life outside of our relationship and got co dependent on him. I didn't like who I was becoming even though it's my first relationship, I've learn sm from the break up about myself, my morals, standards, what I want in a partner and things I need to work on within myself. post break up was so hard I kissed 2 guys and felt gross afterward because I just didn't have any emotional bond with them. From that I realized hook up culture was not for me. Everyone cope differently and sometimes I wish I can date around and hook up with ppl, and just have fun but its so rare for me to ever develop feelings for someone therefore when I do I invest my all in them and this time I lost myself. I know learn that, if you love something you have to let it go. The only way to be happy is to focus our energy towards goals, not people or things.
These are always my favorite videos of yours because they start discussions on topics no one else is talking about but everyone should be talking about.
you are a year or two younger than me but you are genuinely the best role model. i wish i had someone like you growing up. thank you for your honesty Luna, you're truly an angel 💛
yess thank you!! to everyone who reads this: you deserve to have your 10/10. and you will have it. your needs and boundaries and wildest dreams are not too much!! what you need to be happy is not askin for too much!! its asking for the minimum of what you deserve!!
I have advice for being ghosted! Firstly, thank you for making this video, it is sooo relatable! I'm a bit older than you and have had two serious relationships that I've learnt a lot from. I feel like this is such a universal experience that no one knows if true love/lasting love/the one blah blah exists but I think its important to continually work on yourself anyway :)
At the end of the day, partner or not, it's your responsibility to hype yourself up!
Regarding ghosting: It takes a while to practise but the best thing I learnt was to respect myself enough to move on. It seems like a magnetic pull that if someone is sending mixed signals that you should just wait and see. Although its painful (temporarily) to do so, I just tell myself that it would be clear if someone was interested and since I get anxiety from the unknown, I just try to trust the process and move on! Its actually so empowering to know that you deserve to be treated decently. Similarly, if you have a tendency to ghost others, it's also really great to self reflect on that because a lot of the times, we are too scared to be truthful in our communication (which is likely what has happened when you do get ghosted) and no one deserves to be treated that way, despite it happening very commonly.
THE MAKE UP. THE FIT. THE HAIR. IT'S ALL THERE LUNA YOURE STUNNING
I don't really think, that there will be a specific day, where you finally can say "okay now I love myself" or "oh now I'm finally happy". There will come days, where you don't like the feeling of being you, and there will come days, where you think that you are amazing and beautiful. But loving yourself, is enjoying your own company so much, that you don't need other people to for-fill you, and make you feel whole. Loving yourself is a life-long process, and there aren't no stop line. I love you
okay i know nobody asked but this is what i’ve learned:
- NEVER go into a relationship just because you’re lonely: that’ll hurt so badly when y’all break up (even though you’re going to be stronger and more independent than ever afterwards)
- ALWAYS listen to your heart when it just doesn’t feel right, this feeling never lies
- are you really in love or are you just in love with the feeling? that’s a serious question you should ask yourself
- NEVER give up anything you like to do just because of him / her! you’ll regret that A LOT and lemme tell you that’s not worth it
- NEVER let your partner influence your life! just because (s)he wants to spend time with you, doesn’t mean you always have to be available, it’s YOUR life so do tf you have / want to do
- NEVER neglect your friends bc of a relationship, those are the ones that were there first, don’t forget that!
❤️❤️ love u Luna, even though we’re the same age and therefore you’re not an older sister to me, it’s always refreshing to listen to someone else’s experiences! Would love to meet u in real life somewhen
xoxo from germany
you want someone to love you for you and not what you are changing for them.. that hit hard ❤️
Wow, I 100% agree with everything you say and it's refreshing to hear that there is more people being so emotionally attached and giving!
I owe my body confidence as a ballet dancer to you - thankyou for your content :)❤️
been loving your videos recently 💕 you're glowing luna
Thank you. For being you. Authentic, funny... And to inspire others to grow
One of the best girl talk videos♥️ Loved it. You answer all the questions that all of us are too afraid to ask their parents/siblings. Thank u queen 👸🏼🤍
My big sis advice on relationships: as someone in my 20s, and have been in couple serious relationships, and now creating a life with my man, I think it’s REALLY IMPORTANT to differentiate between a relationship when you’re 16 and relationship when you’re 20smthng creating a life together. The expectations when you’re 16 should include you’re happiness etc, and should not have sacrifices. Where when you’re 20+ you need to make sure that you both want the same things (lifestyle, career paths, kids) or that your needs and dreams are compatible. I regret that I sacrificed myself in a relationship when I was 16-18, because I treated it as an end-goal relationship and sacrificed too much. It was difficult to find mysef again.
Same thing happened to me and it took me about a year to realize. Probably because "falling out of love" doesn't feel like a valid reason if there's not some kind of drama involved. so thank you for talking about this!
why does luna just like.... boost my confidence
Hi! About the ghosting part, i don’t know if this advice helps but i read somewhere that you shouldn’t blame yourself because if someone decides to disappear out of your life like that (apart from not being enough for you) it’s just a sign that they lack from the communication skills to talk about things and to tell you what they want, which it show not only immaturity but also that there would have been more problems in the long run.
we love having a safe community to talk about these topics!!!
To the person who said "I feel so guilty and ashamed after sex", I've put a list of questions below that are things that you could ask yourself to get to the root of the problem:
1) do you actually like (or love) the person you are having sex with?
2) is it always their idea or is it your idea too?
3) are you doing things that you aren't actually comfortable with?
It's common for people to have sex before they are ready to and that's okay, but what's not okay/healthy is to continue doing things that bring negative emotions. I would also recommend talking to a professional because there could be underlying issues. Sex is beautiful, sex is instinctual, and sex is fun and I hope you can experience that yourself!
i just started loving my self and my worth and these videos just help a lot! the best big sister honestly
i love these kind of videos they make me re-think everything you said
Luna you are so beautiful inside and out. Me and my boyfriend broke up year ago (after 4 years relationship) and it's so hard even now. But after all I love myself more then ever and it's the most important thing :)
I'm gonna watch this video every time I cryy... Aww lunaa we need more girl talks
As a 27 year old woman who has a similar mentality as Luna, I would give you the following advices (I am in my second relationship, first one lasted 5 years, I have been in this one for more than 2 years now). Love stays but it transforms I think. It's deeper because you get to know the faults of the other not just the nice parts. If you are looking for a long-term, serious relationship you need to have a list of goals, traits that you think are important for your future, for your happiness and your significant other should have those. My example is that I would like to have children, animals and besides that I don't want to be a stay at home mom/wife/girlfriend ("traditional" wives have all my respect, it's just not sg that I personally want). So my list is/was: 1. has to love children, 2. he has to have the qualifications to be able to find a job with which we can provide for our children (with my salary together). 3. he has to love or at least tolerate having pets and 4. he has to support me in my goals. Don't try to change someone and don't listen to people who want to change you because every kind if change has to come from the inside. This also means that you need to accept the other as he/she is. Whatever is important to you at your point in life. For the breakup part: my song was Elastic Heart from Sia. I agree with Luna that a clean cut is needed. And you should tell yourself that it will be better and you are strong, you can survive this. Then you will and it will get better ! :)
LUNA THIS IS MY FAVOURITE VIDEO EVER. I think generally you hold back in the girl talk videos, but in this one you opened up and it feels so good. Also, I love your personality so much. (When you stood up and said I hope i didnt hear that come out your mouth lmao) Please do more videos like this and LONGER! LOVE YOU!
she fr makes me feel so much more confident!
number ONE her style is AMAZING LIKE WTF her fit is amazing with the shirt 👚 ahhh number 2 MORE PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH HER VIDS she had spot on advice and style and an amazing personality IM SO GLAD I FOUND U LUNA k bye 💖💞💕💞✨😍🌟😍
This could not have come at a more perfect time for me like no joke I’m actually shook (my hook up buddy just ended things today cause he’s started seeing someone) - so THANK YOU xx
this was so helpful! and what's amazing is that it felt like you took the words right out of my mouth. Love u Luna!
you do look your happiest it’s so visible in your face!! i’m really happy for you 🤍
Luna’s like that older sister who wont tell anyone that you had these talks. It’s amazing.
WOW I just appreciate how honest you are soooo much it is so amazing queeeeeenn we love
can we talking about how far she’s come for a min??🥺💕
I share the opinion on love lasting so much. I thought I was the only one. It just feels irrealistic to me bc you spend years and years with the same person and it’s guaranteed that you’re going to change and I don’t think that it’s possible to change so much and still be in the same vibe and be in a healthy relationship.
Luna, love from Poland❤️ You are so brave, it takes courage to do the right thing for us when the expectations of others, including the ones we love and value, are so different from what we need. Keep going🌷🌱
LOVE THESE GIRL TALKS
Aww Luna!! I loved this! You’re so genuine and helpful for all the girls that need someone to look up 🥺❤️ I loved this video and I think you were very respectful and sincere!! Thank you for this, I would have loved this dealing with my first breakup but I got through it and yes time heals all wounds ❤️❤️
you are loved and we appreciate these so much luni
You’re amazing 🥲 thank you thank you thank you.
Can we just take a long moment to appreciate Luna’s makeup, super fire.
Your hair looks amazing
And yes I love your girl talk videos
12:04 "We accept the love we think we deserve"
I will say I think it’s definitely possible to be friends with an ex, but timing really plays into it!! I’m best friends with my ex but we needed to have a break initially when we broke up to process the breakup and to grow as individuals before we were ready to be friends again not that it works for everyone, but depends on your situation and why the breakup happened in the first place :)
Wow, this helped me so much. I've never had a partner and recently haven't been dealing well with being alone especially since all my friends have partners but your advice reminded me to continue to work on myself first because even though I'm growing so much I still am not 100% loving me and your video was a much needed reminder.
the way i watched this yesterday having a boyfriend and now i’m watching it today not having a boyfriend is iconic
All of this is sooo true! Took me a long time to work out all of these things after a 3 year relationship but she’s so right 💕 wise queen Luna
even through all the heartbreak I believe love can last. I hope someday your mind changes on love not lasting cause that makes me sad and I truly believe it does and can if there’s two people who truly love and care for one another
lmao yes WHY are there no breakup songs about being the one who ended things! literally just broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago so this was right on time for me thank u
she’s so inspiring and makes me feel so comfortable learning about stuff that i’m not comfortable enough with my mom to talk about and i don’t have anyone else to talk to except my 2 closest cousins❤️
these videos always put me in such a self-love mood
All these issues are implemented as feminine issues (not girl issues, feminine issues) and it makes me so mad how much I suffered and struggled while boys never even had to dedicate a single second to these things because whatever. Misogyny in our society basically forces girls to behave in this submissive way that we (the feminine roles) are the ones that have to have personality crises cause of a crush... after years I just think what would a boy do in my position and that's how I behave, funny enough that's when boys won't leave you alone. Once you don't take boysh*it anymore all these problems just disappear...
I just want to add that being feminine does NOT mean being submissive! Being feminine or wanting to be feminine is not weak!
@@catherineli5681 I agree, it doesn't. But for our patriarchal society, it does. It's the way feminine roles are portrayed and that's what I meant, like, the feminine role is the one supposed to go through identity crises because of a crush, to give up on their friends and hobbies, and basically whatever else this person wants to do/say. She's the one supposed to hang out with the male role's friends and get along with them and accept them for who they are and do what they want to do. It's the feminine role that is supposed to make concessions and accept, while the male role doesn't have to do the same. So I meant that basically f*ck that and is not because I'm the girl or the feminine role in the relationship that I have to fit these and go through these, but thank you for adding that because I just read my comment and realized that in fact this wasn't clear.
Lose you to love me by Selena Gomez was a song that really resonated with me when I broke up with my boyfriend! I realised that I needed to work on loving myself for myself and I couldn’t do that with him
I haven't watched one of your videos for ages! Feel like I am catching up with an old friend.
Man, your my internet big sis and i'm here for it.
ily Luna!
I have never summarized my last relationships problems better than you did codependency and feeing the urge to go to therapy.
I think the good and healthy breakups are especially hard because you want to hate them but you can't, when people talk ship about them you eel the urge to defend them and you want to be friends with them but you shouldn't because it really hurts. You losebest friend
Literally we are the same age but I do feel like you're my biggest sis.
And I love that and appreciate your advices.❤
So THANK YOU.
Un abrazo desde Mexico!
I wood love if you wood talk about how you deal with wanting to archief what other people are because I do the same thing and I really don't know how to Stop it.
You should look up your attachment style. Everything you're saying is similar to me and my past relationship, and looking up my attatchnent style really helped me with myself and for future partners.
thank you for being our big sis luna, you’re literally the best 💓💓
As someone who’s been ghosted and done the ghosting i have advice! So if you’ve been ghosted, I doubt any of you angels were like the people I’ve had to ghost so if you didn’t have an argument or blatantly disrespect them then this advice is for you. First of all, remember that they clearly weren’t the person the universe sent you (if you believe in that). It wasn’t meant to be and that’s totally okay! If they ghosted you maybe they didn’t feel a connection and they were too anxious to say anything while it’s not nice, they’re saving you from boring dates in the long run. Everyone gets ghosted in this day and age so don’t get into the headspace that it’s something to do with you personally, you just gotta hold your head up and keep it moving. Trust me, now that I found my perfect relationship all the ghosting and being stood up is worth it because it led me to her ❤️
I think I've never been so amazed by a personality until I started watching Luna's videos. I just love her! ❤️
this was so so helpful, but also raw and real and I'm taking all of this advice!! luv you big sis🥺❤️
I just wanted to say that your hair and your shirt and your makeup and just everything, looked soo cute!!
Your appearance and personality are sky rocking. I always supporting you Luna :)
Girl talk with Luna - fav ❤️❤️❤️
So true and so needed to hear! I love you Luna, never stop shining xox
When she said lookin for validation, that HIT
Okay please do more of these everyone loves them!!!
The perfect video in the PERFECT timing. I can't even address that enough. Thank you girl...
omg i just like refound your Channel and now i am just watching all of your Recent Videos and i loved the Girls Talk vids and now you just uploaded a new one yayyyy 💕✨ and keep going you‘re amazing and you Build me up thank you so muchhh 🥰
Aw Luna I'm sorry you had to go through such a difficult mental period around your breakup. I'm glad you are better now:))
luna is literally my comfort youtuber. her videos are always so comforting and they make me so happy 🥺
I love these girl talks!!!! Thank you so so much! ❤️
Thank you for spreading so much positivity to younger girls🤍🤗
chile am i the only one that had no idea luna and kai broke up- i genuinely thought she was so happy aw well I'm so happy for you luna and your self love journey
at first i didnt want to watch this bc i thought it would trigger me, but it actually helped me so thank you so much 💖
u make me smile when I heard I’m worthy, thank u 🥺
I have to watch this on repeat, best RUclips video I've seen in a long time XOXO