This was one of the most helpful and encouraging videos I've watched to date. And I've watched quite a few. My significant other and I just started EMSO. Thank you all for this resource of hope.
Thanks for all that you guys do. One day I pray there will be peace. I think I have done every one of the things you advised against. Comparison, rehashing events, etc, etc, etc... Sounds like I need to set some new goals and personal boundaries for myself.
Probably one of THE best videos in this whole series. Definitely in the top 3 or 5, and I've seen them ALL over the years, many even multiple times. I just wish I had seen THIS "summary" years ago.
Every time I asked questions he lied and told me to stop talking about it. Got so defensive every time. So I could not talk about it and I never got the truth. Only lies. I had no where to go. No remorse.
Great video once again! Can you or samuel do a video about how when both spouses cheat, the pain from being betrayed is not lessened because of their own cheating...
This is my exact story. He cheated for many years first. I stayed, but tried to figure out why he cheated, blamed myself, changing the way I dress, combed my hair etc because I thought it was why he cheated. Years and years later, I cheated. I own up to it...and i didn't do it for revenge...but i was unhealthy. Let me tell you, 2 wrongs will never make it right. What will help is getting healthy, showing genuine remorse, being honest with yourself, your spouse, and not repeating this horrendous act to anyone ever
Yes PLEASE!! Because I am in the same boat. The only difference is I am so willing to sit down and answer any questions he has for me anytime, but he says he don’t want to talk about any of it and he don’t understand why I want to talk about it. He just don’t get it, and now I’m beginning to wonder if I should waste my time any more.
Wayne it’s hard a 38 year lie while we were separated he lied And sleep with a friend. Found out may 2019. Then one infidelity before and one after we got back together 6 years later. Devastated my choices were taken away when we got back together he should have been honest.
Please respond. What if we aren’t married and she did this the first 8 months she knew me. She has kids and says she loves me. How do you get through that.
It's just as painful for you if you were supposed to be dating in a monogamous relationship. I'm so sorry. Yes, it's a lot different when it isnt a marriage...but the pain is just as raw because you obviously loved her.
Thank you for saying not to compare. The fact that his affair partner is 10 years younger than me has been a very difficult hurdle for me. I’m actually much more attractive physically, mentally, emotionally etc than her but she’s younger. I guess aging is my bugaboo. It’s my hangup and I own that. Though when he left me, I found that the average age of men attracted to me were her age! That helps! 😂 guys 10 years younger and less flock to me. Actually they all do! I just never noticed other men before because I was totally dedicated to my man. Absolute loyalty and trust like a dummy 😑 😅 My (ex?) partner still hasn’t come back and I’m not ready to really date yet for a long time I think. I wouldn’t want to lead someone on when I’m broken like this. And even though the betrayal is deeper than usual story (the cherry on top is that she has the same name as me 😑) and he got extended family involved (long story here! 😅), part of me is still a little hopeful and open to recovery. That window closes a little more each day though.
Dealing with a porn addict makes extremely difficult to avoid comparison. Especially when you have seen the pictures that was saved of women from chat sites. Women much younger prettier and in better shape. Makes you feel like “what have I got to offer”
Angie Sowards Porn messes up the brain. If they could even get with those so called perfect looking women, they’d still cheat because sex addicts are chasing the high of the fantasy. None of those women could satisfy the fantasy because it doesn’t exist!!! He needs specialized help to get his brain back to normal. I know the thoughts of comparing yourself are torture. But, start doing some work for your healing. Get a certified therapist that works with Betrayed Partners to do some EMDR THERAPY for your trauma.
Im so sorry Angie but please know that its NOTHING you are lacking. Porn truly destroys the brain and its ways of thinking. I myself was addicted my entire adult life and since December of last year ive quit cold turkey and started WORKING on restoring and healing a beautiful wife that ive broken. God bless you and your marriage ma'am. Hang in there and know you are not alone.
Yes ma’am, I feel the same way. The girls he cheated with were all 3 about 8-10 years younger than me, so I feel like I am too old and ugly for him. He tries to tell me I’m not but I don’t believe him at all.
I am an unfaithful spouse and I have had difficulty moving forward with my wife. We are stuck in a phase where there is constant triggers and also difficulty expressing empathy. Your videos have been very insightful for me as an unfaithful spouse but I am not sure if they are enough for my wife to want to give us another chance. A lot of what we are doing through is my fault because I abandoned her after she found out about my infidelity and I actually continued an affair afterwards. I need some help.
This was one of the most helpful and encouraging videos I've watched to date. And I've watched quite a few. My significant other and I just started EMSO. Thank you all for this resource of hope.
Thanks for all that you guys do. One day I pray there will be peace. I think I have done every one of the things you advised against. Comparison, rehashing events, etc, etc, etc... Sounds like I need to set some new goals and personal boundaries for myself.
Probably one of THE best videos in this whole series. Definitely in the top 3 or 5, and I've seen them ALL over the years, many even multiple times.
I just wish I had seen THIS "summary" years ago.
Very good video.
Sums it all up, gives a plan and goals.
Great outline of what's needed to go forward.
What about knowing the truth and listening to your spouse lie to protect the affair and affair partner?
Every time I asked questions he lied and told me to stop talking about it. Got so defensive every time. So I could not talk about it and I never got the truth. Only lies. I had no where to go. No remorse.
In the same boat here. Tells me to get over it that it meant nothing but I find more secrets
I would definitely like my wife to bring up talking about it and checking in like you say.
Great video once again! Can you or samuel do a video about how when both spouses cheat, the pain from being betrayed is not lessened because of their own cheating...
This is my exact story. He cheated for many years first. I stayed, but tried to figure out why he cheated, blamed myself, changing the way I dress, combed my hair etc because I thought it was why he cheated. Years and years later, I cheated. I own up to it...and i didn't do it for revenge...but i was unhealthy. Let me tell you, 2 wrongs will never make it right. What will help is getting healthy, showing genuine remorse, being honest with yourself, your spouse, and not repeating this horrendous act to anyone ever
Yes PLEASE!! Because I am in the same boat. The only difference is I am so willing to sit down and answer any questions he has for me anytime, but he says he don’t want to talk about any of it and he don’t understand why I want to talk about it. He just don’t get it, and now I’m beginning to wonder if I should waste my time any more.
This definitely helps.Thanks for this
Wayne it’s hard a 38 year lie while we were separated he lied And sleep with a friend. Found out may 2019. Then one infidelity before and one after we got back together 6 years later. Devastated my choices were taken away when we got back together he should have been honest.
I'm so sorry for your pain...
This is really great
Loved this video!
Please respond. What if we aren’t married and she did this the first 8 months she knew me. She has kids and says she loves me. How do you get through that.
It's just as painful for you if you were supposed to be dating in a monogamous relationship. I'm so sorry. Yes, it's a lot different when it isnt a marriage...but the pain is just as raw because you obviously loved her.
Thank you for saying not to compare. The fact that his affair partner is 10 years younger than me has been a very difficult hurdle for me. I’m actually much more attractive physically, mentally, emotionally etc than her but she’s younger. I guess aging is my bugaboo. It’s my hangup and I own that.
Though when he left me, I found that the average age of men attracted to me were her age! That helps! 😂 guys 10 years younger and less flock to me. Actually they all do! I just never noticed other men before because I was totally dedicated to my man. Absolute loyalty and trust like a dummy 😑 😅
My (ex?) partner still hasn’t come back and I’m not ready to really date yet for a long time I think. I wouldn’t want to lead someone on when I’m broken like this. And even though the betrayal is deeper than usual story (the cherry on top is that she has the same name as me 😑) and he got extended family involved (long story here! 😅), part of me is still a little hopeful and open to recovery. That window closes a little more each day though.
Hi, where your story went after a year?
well done
Wow that was incredible. Thank you kindly. God bless
Dealing with a porn addict makes extremely difficult to avoid comparison. Especially when you have seen the pictures that was saved of women from chat sites. Women much younger prettier and in better shape. Makes you feel like “what have I got to offer”
Angie Sowards Porn messes up the brain. If they could even get with those so called perfect looking women, they’d still cheat because sex addicts are chasing the high of the fantasy. None of those women could satisfy the fantasy because it doesn’t exist!!! He needs specialized help to get his brain back to normal. I know the thoughts of comparing yourself are torture. But, start doing some work for your healing. Get a certified therapist that works with Betrayed Partners to do some EMDR THERAPY for your trauma.
Im so sorry Angie but please know that its NOTHING you are lacking. Porn truly destroys the brain and its ways of thinking. I myself was addicted my entire adult life and since December of last year ive quit cold turkey and started WORKING on restoring and healing a beautiful wife that ive broken. God bless you and your marriage ma'am. Hang in there and know you are not alone.
Yes ma’am, I feel the same way. The girls he cheated with were all 3 about 8-10 years younger than me, so I feel like I am too old and ugly for him. He tries to tell me I’m not but I don’t believe him at all.
I am an unfaithful spouse and I have had difficulty moving forward with my wife. We are stuck in a phase where there is constant triggers and also difficulty expressing empathy. Your videos have been very insightful for me as an unfaithful spouse but I am not sure if they are enough for my wife to want to give us another chance. A lot of what we are doing through is my fault because I abandoned her after she found out about my infidelity and I actually continued an affair afterwards. I need some help.
We are 2 1/2 years out and every time the affair comes up he will go over every single thing I did in the affair. This happens at least once a week.
Makeupholicfrombirth happens daily for me