I have filed for divorce and a restraining order on the man who sent me the death threat. Also to clarify, when i say clubs and bars I mean salsa dancing and regular bars, not the crazy party ones. Please don't send any hate towards my ex-wife or anybody from that church please. If you would like to support me on my journey, you can do so here: Venmo: @Wesleezy Paypal: paypal.me/wesleezy Patreon: patreon.com/wesleezy
Sorry homeslice but as a fellow colombian, that doesn fly and we can critisize the bad actions of people and other churches. Sounds like a micro agressive church culture that controls their people loke a cult. My sister is a protestant, not me and i see her going through the same thing with her supposed future mother in law that tries to impose her "virtuous " church life on my sis in order for my sister to be with her son.
It is probably not a good idea. We need to respect the wishes of those individuals who don’t want to be associated with your new life after breaking away from their church.
Bro… remember passion is a two-way road... Don't sweat them too profoundly... That culture is very communal which means they live in a big tent… you can't live in a big tent unless You forgive transgressions… besides I know you've seen how local men do their thing 😅
@@aniwee17 Breaking away from their church? Dude, he was never enslaved to their church, so why do you want to present it so? I feel it is wrong of any institution to think it can can the level of a hold presented here, this is at a level of a cult in my view. There should never be a situation where she has to neglect her duty to her husband for her church, these should not compete.
To enjoy life. What is that? Some "enjoyments" (i.e. drugs, sex, etc) can trap you. Religion should be about moderation, not super restriction. And believe me, some Christians have enjoyed life (in a way you probably would support), but some women end up pregnant from the wrong man, some men end up marrying the wrong person, and some end up victims of unworthy leaders. Religion can be good, and can even transform lives for better, but it is just the bad stuff what you hear. -- Just to compare, today, people even have better regard to the Communist ideology than to Christianity. Just look to the Christian legacy and see, it has been a force for good more than force for bad.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️ Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️ Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace , Jesus forgives and Jesus loves you.
When you give your life to Jesús is a change of life from your old self. That's why is call born again. Going to clubs, smoking weed, ect is part of your old life that you need to give up in order to follow Jesus. The Holy Spirit helps you every step of the way, you never alone.
Don’t ever rush into marriage. Don’t ever marry a woman that does not put you first. Women south of the USA border are very rebellious perhaps not as much as American women but damn close. When you marry a woman make sure she fights for your love. Women who are sweet on you will constantly be doing things for you. Those are the women you choose.
@@WheresWesI hope you and other men learn your lesson about rushing to marriage and more dangerously HAVING one/or multiple CHILDREN. Glad you shared this story, most men only learn by suffering a lot.
Me too Divorced my colombian wife. I speak fluent spanish. She was overly entitled and thought i had to fix everything in her life and pay anything. She never cared about my needs or opinions. Just because they give you sex or say they love you it means nothing to them. Watch their actions. You are a walking ATM. Lucliky you didn't have children. Run away!
In the middle of this right now myself, thank god not married yet and no kids either but holy ##%^£ the constant arguments of what’s needed and responsibility is to much. And another thing that’s kills me, they don’t take no for an answer and what they did is never in the wrong
And these are the church going religious zealot mofkers making those threats. 😏 They use God and the church as an excuse. Bunch of hypocrites. I call them “Winos Arrepentidos”
The "father figure". There was more going on there than an overly protective church man. Your wife had a relationship with him. Access old messages, talk to people close to him. You'll see.
Either that or the father figure lusts after his ex wife lol. No man, aside from a father or grandfather or uncle, would be that involved in a woman's marriage if he is not lusting after her.
Damn. Hopefully you recover from this. I have several friends now on their 30s having issues with their marriage, some with kids. You literally dodge a bullet right there. Red flags are so important nowadays. Love your channel brother.
You didn't see the red flags. You entered her frame, belief system and values.. to ultimately see you were not compatible because you had your eyes closed. You just learned a valuable lesson. The next page or chapter of your life will be much better. Pain is the best teacher.
Hardcore church goers in Latin America are almost in a cult-like atmosphere. I think you may just have underestimated that. You deserved much more respect my friend.
@@Necrotic99 Nearly all churches in the US are like that. Big city ones are the exact same way just with (usually) neoliberal ideology attached instead of conservatism .
You did nothing wrong. Don't ever tell yourself you did. I respect you so much for staying so strong and I am so sorry this happened to you. Your subscribers and I, are all giving you a big hug through the screen right now. Don't ever give up on love. What you encountered, I believe, was far from love. You've got this! 🖤
I support your decision. She’s not in the marriage for you. You deserve better. She dragged too many people into this marriage when it supposed to be between you and her. She doesn’t respect you or the marriage enough. I would suggest take what you learned from this experience and make better choices for yourself in the future. Also, it would be a good idea to cut all ties with her and her gang of people. Good luck. There are many good women out here. So you don’t have anything to worry about.
I don't think it was that, I think it was more that there were a lot of differences interms of expectations that just weren't met as well as spiritual differences in maturity. I am not saying one has to constantly be at church however the bible does stress the importance of not forsaking gathering of other Christians. It sounds like the church gave him solice and comfort but in terms of belief there were just at different stages. Furthermore, I am assuming she was in a church that had "pre cult-like" tendencies, judging by the spiritual father aspect that he mentioned, etc, which would definitely influence her thinking because in places like that marriage is seen as a community project.
@@lolly3596 I personally think marriage needs a community and a church community is a good thing to have. I think she was at a different stage of her Christian life and he wasn't at a stage where if he was as committed he wouldn't be asking her to not go to church on some Sundays. That tells me a lot about how he views church. But again I am not criticizing him for making this request, all I am saying is that when you meet a lot of long term committed Christians, they usually are going to church three times a week. Once on Wednesday and Sunday then Saturday for church work. It's normal behavior. I think she doesn't see how her daily life will have to include another person who will need her time and therefore her work and church life will need to share its time with him. She seemed to not want to or it was really difficult for her to make those compromises for her marriage. Then again boundaries to her may seem different to him because of where they are in their Christian life. It's complicated 😢😮 I just hope that he keeps growing his Christian faith. A lot of people walk away from a Christian life because of a bad church experience and that is wrong. A Christian should never judge their faith by who they meet at a church because everyone at church is there for being flawed. It's like going to a hospital and thinking everyone there is as healthy as you. So never make that mistake. This might sound wrong but I genuinely mean this, I am happy that this man did not experience infidelity in his marriage because that seems to be the story for almost every marriage I hear about these days.
The guy who threatened you claims to be a Christian. LOL Typical Colombian Christian; they are Christian in church and then revert right back to the old ways. Pablo Escobar people used to go to church and repent the walk out and do what they did. You saved yourself a lot of heartache later in life. Sometimes a divorce is the only solution.
Same with women! The ones who goes to Church and pretends to be a big Christians they are the worst. Saturday night they sleep with 2 different guys and Sunday morning they go to church pretending they are nice innocent girls. BS!!
Sorry for what you experienced. But dude you were obnoxious during that time always slamming western culture and specifically the US. I guess nobody truly knows what goes on in a relationship behind closed doors.
@danielwells774 the great thing about life is that unless it was a hostage situation, these were made of ones own free will and choice. Now beyond the philosophical arguments you could make about determinism and free will, that is why this example would be considered "mistakes" "lessons" "pain as a teacher".
Damn, what a situation to be in, AND in a country like Colombia. I am 40 years old now, never married and never will be, just too much risk and hassle. Stay strong, fellow Gents!
thanks for sharing. you have given me in my life a good reality check and also reminds me that the world needs more people like you who help others by sharing their experiences.
Hey Wes, as someone of Chinese descent who is married to a Latina I related to a lot of things you said. It's true when you come from a kind of unaffectionate and honestly somewhat cold culture like many East Asian cultures it's easy to fall in love with the warmth, affection, and socially oriented focus of something like Latin cultures. We have a night and day kind of experience between both sides of our family. On my Asian side, everyone does their own thing, is cordial and we normally only see each other on holidays. On my Latin side, everyone is closely involved in each other's lives and we always see each other and I've lost count of how many Christenings, baptisms, communions, weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, backyard/park BBQs, quinceañeras/sweet sixteens, etc.... that we've attended. The grass isn't greener on the other side of course (as you seemed to have learned as well) and being involved with a lot of people often means people drama and sometimes their headaches becoming your headaches.
As a black woman I grew up like East Asians. I too was drawn into my ex's family (he was black also) because of their love they had for each other. Key words "each other". Their love and support really stopped with their family. They didn't really like outsiders I found after about 5 months as the women felt I was taking their male relative away from them. The majority of them were unmarried/single women and looked st my ex as the patriarch of the family and had been single for 10 yrs before he met me. I must say if I ever date again I will go for the family who only gets together on holidays and such. And since I don't celebrate holidays I'll just not attend. I'm sure the family wouldn't mind if they aren't tight knit
@@swiftkarma4436 I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I get why you'd avoid someone with a complicated family dynamic. As I said to Wes, sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I have the warm, embracing and deeply involved experience with my wife's family but damnit if I don't want to just do shit simple every once in a while. Like recently I wanted to go see Godzilla so I asked one of our cousins if he was interested. The next thing you know there was 11 people going so it meant we had to find reserved seating together for all 11 of us that was also a reasonable distance to everyone, then we had to figure out the car arrangements, then making sure everyone got the time and place right, and got there relatively on time.
That death threat made me upset but the defense for it was worse. Your ex should have flat out condemned that behavior. Her dismissive behavior is a tell tale sign that she'll put up with horrible people just because their friends.
As a Colombian, let me tell you: That's the complicity people have for those types of situation here. It is a weird mixture between Asian collectivisim and aversion of shame, and nepotism.
Or put them up to it. Wes seems naive. I live in Mexico and some of these people are dangerous despite the smiles they show you. When you have conflict with them- due to their narcissism/fraud/lying- or simply disagree with them you will see their true colors.
Its good you got out early!! My situation was I was in a 9 year relationship and my ex never put herself in my shoes either or on my side of the family. She cheated on me on the 9th year. You got out early so its a blessing for you. I am still resentful I wasted 9 years of my life but am recovering and hopefully healed from the trauma. Your ex was a covert narcissist!
He's lucky he didn't end up dead! He seems to think the church people did this on their own, whereas from what I'm hearing I wouldn't be surprised if the wife coordinated with the church people to terrorize him! Foreigners don't realize how much of an outsider you can be when you travel. Just because your heart is good, etc. means nothing! They simply see you as an object to be manipulated. Many locals have motives FROM THE START when they deal with you and you are an actor in a movie you know nothing about. 🤣
You have many great qualities such as self-reflection, emotional stabilities, righterouesness. These are really well embraced in China, Japan, and some other Eastern European cultures. I can concur with you on many things you look for in the video, however, they seem so rare in North America, Latin countries and other general western countries.
Wes, I am sorry to see you struggle in your head. I am at least 2X your age. You need to understand yourself and stop looking to a woman, a country, and/or a church to give you your sense of self. Please let the past go and focus on what is important to you personally. Focus on the required things in your life and the no-deal things in your life too. Don't worry about what others think of you, instead focus on living your life in a space of internal integrity. If you do that others will see you for what you are, gravitate towards it and respect it. Be humble, be authentic and live your life. I live in Brasil. I am American by birth and Brasileiro by choice. I speak Portuguese and live completely Brasilian but I will tell you this. My wife is Brasilian. She knows that I am committed to her completely but from the beginning I made certain that she knew my lists of requirements and no-deal for myself and our relationship. I also made certain that she not only had her own list but that she knew that I accepted it. We both know that this agreement while not static is not easily modified and is a deal breaker if broken. This is my second marriage as the first imploded because we did not base our relationship on each others lists and our joint agreement of mutual understanding. I believe that a man's destiny is dependent on the strength of his bonds and that bond with his partner is the most important that he will ever form. It should be cared for diligently. So . . . your marriage was broken from the beginning my friend. It is hard to say it but if you accept it, learn from it and move on . . . then you will live your best life . . . which I want for you. Fica Bem, Faz Bem (Be Good, Do Good)
Conselho muito bom. Irmão Lennertz, este é um mundo pequeno. Falei com Wes na frente de um restaurante vietnamita em Envigado antes de sair. Espero poder te conhecer um dia quando passar um tempo em Santa Catarina.
@@Stoney-g1o Claro, o mundo é pequeno, meu amigo Stoney. Sempre temos o oportunidade conversar no sul do Brasil . . . or maybe in Colombia sometime in the future. I have interacted with Wes a few times online and he is a good soul. I want him to have the life that he wants and deserves as a birthright of being human. It is always good when we cross paths, my friend. I am spending more time currently in Porto Alegre and Rio Grande do Sul so if you find yourself headed to SC let me know so we can plan how to share a meal together. Fica bem. Faz bem. Stoney
yes, im from Colombia, Barranquilla, I follow Wes before his marriage or his life in Manizales, i inmediately realized he took a bad desicion, worst when you mix all with religion, he was weak with his problems in Medellin not strong enough to take that kind of desicion, thanks god you are out of it.
Looking back on it, as an outsider, it seems like the relationship would never work. Wes likes to go out, travel and do new, fun things. While the wife likes to go to church every week and is content stay in her hometown. Not on the same page
There is no way she was working that much, (as an accountant!) I theorize she was seeing other men and she didn't want you ever going out because you might catch her. The church was an excuse, -they don't care-. I dated a colombian in the States and she'd lie and cheat like that.@@WheresWes
Left my ex Colombian gf too. My situation was getting more difficult but she wasn't ready for the upcoming hell. I could do what you did which is go into her frame and go back to Colombia. Never ever chase the woman, if she wants you for real, she needs to come into your frame, not you into hers. You also dodged a bullet my guy, May God give you a better, more understanding and loving partner with whom you'll live a beautiful life. Blessings 🙌
Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that many (not all) Colombians have a tendency to make excuses for the worst behavior and very rarely take accountability for their actions. Even the term “No dar papaya” is a way to not accept that fact that the country is dangerous.
Third world IQ developing countries make third world IQ people meaning they are still behaving like children . They “only understand boot and fist”(fury)
My gosh it's interesting to hear that and I'm glad I'm not the only one who experienced this. My now ex Colombian boyfriend (I'm an Aussie), never once took responsibility for anything he did. We only lasted 11 months because I couldn't take it anymore. Plus the gaslighting and victim hood made me crazy.
As a colombian livinging in US for most of my life ; i tell you, this is equal as you date a very religious person in USA you will live the church life . You prospected to them as person that you arent " disonest" you need to look into yourself what is wrong first this why you got a bad relation with your family also. If you arent a religious dont jump into you may not be prepared for a radical change in life . I was in a christian church n i felt being sucked 24/7 in da church , so i left.
What a disingenuous comment. If she really was about the conservative Christian life then she WOULD NOT have acted the way she did nor would her "family" have acted the way they did. Para que lo entiendas de manera clara - eso es un mentira completa y lo que quieres hacer aqui es dar excusas para que tu comunidad no la vean por lo que son en realidad. Si de verdad fueran Cristianos de verdad, supieras que ya al asumir el voto sagrado de matrimonio, todo lo que ocurre dentro de ese pacto es entre TRES individuos no mas, EL, ELLA y DIOS. Mas aun, ella DEBERIA de SOMETERSE a la autoridad de su esposo. Este chico claramente explico que EL ya asumia la responsabilidad de pagar por la mayoria de sus necesidades, y podio pagar lo todo si ella hubiese dejado su trabajo. El, como cabeza de su hogar, le pidio a su esposa que queria que reduciera sus obligaciones fuera del matrimonio para que ellos puedan reforzar su matrimonio entre ellos mismos; esto es algo muy sano y natural. Ella fue CONTRA la misma palabra de DIOS y actuo como esos mismos Fariseos en la Biblia que les importa mas como los perciben su comunidad que seguir la palabra de Dios. Ella es una mujer soberbia que en su necedad no obedecio a la cabeza de su hogar, ni intento de negociar para satisfacerlo, mas aun ella hablo mal de el ante otros fuera del sagrado pacto y causo que un malparido narcotraficante Fariseo diablo con dos patas amenazara a su proprio esposo. Muy seguido he encontrado que estas comunidades religiosas son mas que todo APARENCIAS; puros Fariseos hipocritas. Ya saben donde van a parar cuando llegue el dia de juicio final. "22 Muchos me dirán en aquel día: Señor, Señor, ¿no profetizamos en tu nombre, y en tu nombre echamos fuera demonios, y en tu nombre hicimos muchos milagros? 23 Y entonces les declararé: Nunca os conocí; apartaos de mí, hacedores de maldad."
This was clearly a legalistic church that thrived on narcissism and spiritual abuse. Most churches are not like this. This man just wasn't aware enough of this type of thing to see the red flags in the beginning.
Been following your story for a few years, fellow Christian here, from what you're saying a church like that seemed poisonous not only for your marriage, your health, but also your faith. Good to see you're well, learning and growing after such a hard season.
Well, theologically he was in the wrong, and so was the Church. Although the intitial action by his wife was correct. Matthew 18:15-20 ESV “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
I feel you bro. I had a relationship with a narciscist woman for 3 years, well, I discovered her bad traits later on. She said one day she betrayed me, just after I asked her in marriage. I guess it was a blessing. No kids, no divorce to file. But I was very sad and depressed for like 6 months. Now I'm healed! My advice is to finish a toxic relationship before kids or marriage. Because, kids and marriage don't save any relationship
Sorry, but you’re not healed. That’s years and sometimes a decade even with daily maintenance of work on codependency, self-worth issues, self-esteem issues, self love issues, self focus. That don’t get resolved in six months. Here’s how I know, anyways you never even once mentioned codependency, which I have odd people for trying to be conscious and figure out their bad relationship. That’s great, but a lot of people don’t realize the core issue is childhood and codependency which you have not talked about it. also go back to therapy or you need to get books or audiobooks and explores on your own because you’re definitely You don’t even know why you picked an attracted somebody like that
Marriage is tough man. As someone who married and divorced young, there is life after this. It is important you go through the process of reconciling this for yourself. I've been remarried and am about to hit my 30-year anniversary. So, keep pressing on. Who is at fault is less important than understanding your own internal struggles. better yourself, understand yourself, and move on. And I agree with you 100% On manners of marriage it is you and your wife against the world. You can fuss, fight, argue, all of that. But if something external tries to break in... oh no, it is ON. You are not the first person and won't be the last person to come across this vendetta like behavior. The Latin sense of family is admired by many, but it is also something that can go very sideways.
Wes, new subscriber to your channel. Really appreciate your candour and your objective commentary on your journey - as an Asian in his mid-30s who grew up in New Zealand, can totally appreciate and relate to many of the frustrations you expressed. Just wanted to say thank you for being so matter-of-fact with your vlogs, and really enjoying following your journey. Have a great week!
Wes I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage, I haven't been in the channel in a little while and it breaks my heart to see you relationship end. As a Colombian it shames me how they are speaking to you, but don't give up the faith and your self awareness of what's right and what's wrong
This video should be mandatory viewing for all gringos who hyper romanticize Colombia and it’s culture. If you are at all looking for long term partners especially in Medellin, learn that you will likely face immense headwinds navigating the chaotic, hedonistic and barbaric nature of the paisas. Once, a Colombian-American expat in Medellin told me, “You will love us, until you will get to know us!”
Ha,he was right.I spent 20 months in Colombia over 3 trips.Yes,Columbians were wonderfull,non stop amigo,caballero,all sort of polite formulas,but when the mask fall it is another story.Columbians are disorganized,irresponsible,braindead ,unnacountable violent savages.Just look at how they push their way into a subway car. In Cali entetering a bus from a trainlike platform,I got catapulted into the seats by people pushing behind.I got scammed and cheated by "good friends" nearly killed in Cali when I got robbed,pushed to the ground by three youth with one of them.kicking me in the head.I am lucky to be alive,with no fracture and having kept my eyesight. One Columbian on an expat facebook page wrote: In Colombia,60% of the people are wonderfull,and the other 40% horrible.20 to 30 years ago they were killing each others left and right.These people haven't disappeared.Many would be in their 40's,50's60's and 70's now. Yes Colombia is full of murderers,do not forget that. Just look
🎯 Mexico can be like this too. I live in Yucatan, Mexico. I've never met more chaotic TOXIC people. Luckily my current village/town of Hocaba doesn't give too much of this vibe. Plus I intentionally limit my interactions with people to only what is necessary- buying things, etc.- for the most part. Except for talking with much older people in the park, etc. I like to do that and they seem to be drawn to me. Everyone is drawn to me actually (my whole life, not always a good thing! 🤣) but I prefer chatting with the older people in my town. I am fascinated by them sometimes.
I’m Latino born and raised in very conservative south Texas. To me Latinos south of the border most of the people are TOXIC that come with tons problems. People there don’t do anything to help each other or themselves that is why the country is so damn toxic.
Thanks for sharing this side of your story. People divorce for many reasons and yours makes sense that it is important to try to understand each other’s culture and respect them - wouldn’t say is easy.
I have no sympathy for any man who marries a woman from South America or the Caribbean, you should start to know how they work. They are extremely beautiful women but emotionally the most immature people on this planet. The constant me, me, me, the constant cheating, seeking validation from other men, nagging at other women, this over-emotionality (from extremely dismissive to death threats), it's just not worth it.
That’s a wild generalization. You can’t say everyone from a certain part of the world is the same. Tell me where you’re from and I too can tell you the negatives of your culture. There’s not a single group of people in this world that is just “good” with no negatives. Every person is their own thing.
I think you break things down very well, you make things very easy to understand!!! Thank you for creating this video!!! I think this is a very valuable lesson for you and for individuals like me that is looking for answers in regards to relationships!!!
I'm from Manizales and currently live in Medellín. Since I discovered your channel, I've loved it because you found a great community (I'm Catholic, not Christian). You talked extensively about my city and culture, and I really supported that. I identify with you because I fell in love with a Catholic girl about 1.5 years ago; she's also my ex now because she won a scholarship to the Netherlands. Anyway, I understand what you mean when you say that you were trying to fit in with this community and follow all their rules (which can be extremely difficult if you grew up in a different environment). You messed up when you married a conservative religious woman, while she believed you were becoming part of her religion and community otherwise she wouldn't marry you, isn't it? In reality, you didn't adapt to the Christian lifestyle of this community after you were her boyfriend, lately, her husband. Obviously, your ex-wife always prioritizes the teachings of her church because, for them, they are following the Word of God. What makes me think this? You consume drugs, have changed your religion, and have had several sexual relationships with other women. You are also making fast friendships because you are frequently traveling. Your life seems so fluid. In contrast, your ex-wife will always be Christian and be with her family and community. She is grounded. You are liquid. My personal recommendation is: if you have realized throughout this divorce that you are likely to be constantly changing of place, culture, religion, or people. Meet people with the same interests and values as you. P.S. I don't know her, her family, or her community. I am not Christian. I really appreciate your videos, content, and insights.
@@MarkIsMyMiddleName Catholicism began to exist after the great schism of 1054AD. Before that, there was no Catholic church. Most Catholics *believe* they are Christian, while Orthodox - from whom the Catholic religion stems - do not see them as such. I am confused as to why this Catholic commenter says "I'm Catholic, not Christian" 😂 that's our line.
@@FreeNDeed777 Paul was the direct apostle under Jesus who delegated the authority and spirit of God to. Do you deny the Apostles?? This doctine is followed in any Biblical Domination and the Bible is the Law particularly the new testament. the point to be made that Church Authority is valid and each one thinks differently, which is why i agree with OP, and Wes's problem was not doctrinally doing any research on the Bible nor that domination. Matthew 18:15-20 ESV “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
When I saw the title of this video...I was like damn you're milking this topic. But finally in this video you shared more depth to the situation and I think it could actually be a learning experience for others who may find themselves in a similar situation or pressure in a different country with a different culture. Thank you for sharing. This video shows how very mature & responsible you are. I think you learned a lot about yourself from your experience of living in Colombia & that will carry you forward wherever life takes you! Thanks bro!
A lot of Asians have this idea that they are highly adaptable people. "The ultimate chameleon." No, you probably aren't as adaptable as you think you are. Most people probably should just marry someone of similar race, similar culture, and similar religion.
Marrying someone from your race, religion doesn't guarantee happiness. Some people like something different, at least he has had a life lesson and a story to tell
You don't know what your talking about. I'm mexican American and I rarely dated hispanic women because the vast majority of them are fucked up toxic individuals. I've dated Asian women and they are much more pleasant and educated
The bible says not to marry unbelievers and this man's story is the perfect example. They are on different wavelength spiritually and this is what caused the seperation. I hope you two find happiness in ur future
Never marry into someone else’s frame. You should marry someone who’s similar like you and fit into your frame. If she is too different from you culturally, everything will crash.
I recognise that voice in the message you played! I would never have expected that. It just goes to show that you can't take people at face value. It sucks that you had to go through that. Anita is lovely but it's clear that it wasn't right for you guys and I'm glad that you are able to get out of the situation and get on with your life.
You are telling the truth. I dated a lot of Latina girlfriends when I was growing up, but I realized quickly that I could not marry any of them because of the hold their mothers held over them and their sisters' lives. Although they had both parents in the home, their fathers were mostly hands-off with their girls and the moms were in charge of them. I would hear my girlfriends' mom telling even their married daughters what to do, and the daughters would follow the moms instructions over their own husbands' guidelines. I knew I couldn't be a part of that, because it should always be a husband and his wife against the world with their families support, not the family running their lives in the backyard. Before anyone ask, my girlfriends were Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Mexican, where they were from did not matter, I would see the same things playing out almost every time. When it did not happen, it was because their fathers were very dominant and the wives feared them, but even then everyone had an opinion in your relationships. It was eye-opening, because it thought me that men everywhere had issues in marriages regardless of their cultures.
One of my coworkers is planning on marrying a Columbian woman. I visited a couple years ago there for new years. Any time she got upset and caught an attitude she would say "I am paisa, I am crazy" I would just shake my head and be like Goodluck with that man. You're gonna need it.
Interesting experience. We all try to fill the void we see in ourselves by looking to others around us. Ultimately, it sounds like nothing was lost, but rather it was a learning experience. Thank you for sharing your reflections.
Wes, this was a powerful video. I watched your channel a few years ago when I was studying Colombia to see if I wanted to go. I remember you talking up Manizales and the church and the women being different. The 2 most interesting things you touched on were that you weren't going to go through the church to have a wife and how they weaponized "face/face saving" against you. I can relate in that I have family who are much the same... if we are to be a family I have to go through their church. I called their bluff and haven't been to see them in 25 years as I'm not religious. On the saving face, I would think that you're familiar being Asian, but this is the first time I've heard it done this way. Not to say it's new. The whole situation just seems like assimilate or else. I have an uncle who would've been so happy with that situation... having the church as his proxy wife. Ultimately, I went to Thailand (for a visit) and it seems you did too. I'll have to check out your new vids.
Thanks for sharing bro. Despite your bitter and terrible experience, I was able to extract precious gems and can help young men to spot red flags in a potential marriage mate. I come to understand that you don't really know a person until you live with them. I wish you well in your new life; it must be refreshing. Cheers!
Wysłuchałem Twojej historii i naprawdę współczuję… Jestem pastorem i zrozumiałem, że trafiłeś do ultrareligijnej wspólnoty kościelnej, która mocno wpływała na Twoje osobiste życie w małżeństwie. To niedopuszczalne i bardzo przykre 🥺
As the Bible says, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." This statement definitely sums up the man who threatened you.
There’s a lot to say but I’ll leave this for the younger couples. DO NOT talk about your relationship, especially the issues with other people. Issues are between you, your partner, and a therapist should it get to that point.
Same bro, also divorced when I was around 23 or so, now I'm 31. I lost my older brother a year ago to an overdose and I can tell you that there in more to life than society's, church's and people's opinion don't matter that much. Personally, I think that the only thing that matters is the list of things that makes ME happy. Whether it's yoga, friends, plant medicine ceremonies to work on myself or even alone time to go deeper into your own soul and unravel things so you can be a better version of yourself. This video is beautiful that you can articulate this all. I really commend you man, I've also followed you for a couple of years I think regarding me moving to Colombia. This video is amazing to see you as a person and how you've grown. If you ever need to talk please reach out brother.
Must have the same value first. If she wants you to be going to Church or whatever, you will have to and vice versa. If you cannot do it then you shouldn't be together. It will always be a conflict. Find something that fits the same value. And that threat, yeah, definitely report that. That is a crazy story.
I have followed you for a long time. You are so kind. She said she had Jesus, but she didn’t have love, true selfless love for you, so how could she have Jesus? You did good by letting her go. Paul wrote to the Corinthians and ask them to seek peace, peace! And you sought your peace, so the God of heaven will be with you always.
It’s not about the nationality or the race of the woman it’s about the character. There are plenty of Asian women who are hell on wheels as a wife trust me Asian men have told me controlling manipulative and narcissistic. Yes that’s right Asian women. . A good relationship with a woman is about the contents of her character. That is it.
5 дней назад+3
@@SmarticalBoy12Just find a woman in America where you live. Y’all crossing countries wasting years still ending up single . It’s desperate
America According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher, with approximately 60-67% of second marriages ending in divorce. Asian Americans have a divorce rate of 12.4 divorces per 1,000 people. This is lower than the divorce rate for white Americans, which is 15.1 divorces per 1,000 people
The official divorce rate for Thailand is very low on average. Much lower than the US or even Australia for that matter. The official divorce rate for Thailand is 0.058 per 10,000 people. This is low compared to the US with 53 per 10,000 people or 2.5 per 10,000 people in Australia
It is one of the pitfalls of marrying a foreign girl in a foreign land. Her family and her friends are on her side and you are alone. Even the friends you thought are your friends could essentially count as on her side cos they have more history/more in common with her rather than you. There are countless history lessons on this in Chinese history where the woman's side gets too powerful. The side of the empress grew so powerful the emperor has no power. Sometimes it became so bad that the emperor's own family members are in danger. Check out the history of first empress of Han dynasty if you are interested. The real woman empress who can call herself "emperor" of Tan dynasty came to power the same way. An emperor at least would have people loyal to him to start with but you are alone in foreign land means you are alone unless you are a powerful businessman or something and can lift someone up and he/she be loyal to you in the community. Just my thoughts. It is always a power play in human relationships. Either it with you own family, business relationship or so called love. I would love human relations to just be ideal and be just about pure love and friendship but in reality it is not.
so essentially if you want to succeed in dating abroad, you still need money and connections... the trade-off something to consider and differences between dating in the US vs abroad don't seem so large now.
Damn dude. I remember watching some of your videos back in 2022/2023 and how you were so happy to marry this Colombian girl. I completely forgot about your channel until just now when the YT algorithm pushed this onto my front page... Life throws you curveballs man. Glad you are still doing well now, and that you've grown as a person
I can kinda understand both parties, but Wes, I understand you in reflection to my personal experience. My ex-husband would have lunch with the Pastor of our church and I would find it so weird that they didn't want me involved. He would get home and say all the things he spoke about and it was all about me and how I need to change. He created this persona of me that was far from the whole truth. Now, being divorced, we still go to the same church, and I still see remnants of him painting this picture of who I am to the pastor...but, my relationship with God is so strong that I know the truth will come out. Some of it has come out, but I am assured that more will come to light of his character.
I also noticed that about Latin culture. They don’t ever seem to TRY to make the effort of learning your culture. It’s highkey selfish. Idc if the person is a nationalist. If you love someone, you will try to make the attempt to learn their culture and language just like how you learned her culture. I think it’s a Latin thing. Girls from Dominican Republic are lowkey the same. I notice they aren’t interested in learning or diving deep into the American culture.
Girls are not clever enough for this. That’s why you invite a girl to your place, into your frame and not the other way round. Otherwise they just become lazy.
I'm a Mexican woman married to a norteamerican man. This is a second marriage for both of us. We have been together 23 years and we are both the happiest we have ever been. We consider ourselves spiritual but not religious. Maybe that helps. I have told my daughters that their husbands and children come first before their relationship with me. They have good strong marriages.
Simply not true. A good woman is supportive of her husband. Latin women who are family focused will put their own family before their extended family, but they still have strong ties to their culture.
The way I saw the whole picture was that you did not allow yourself to know her more. 2 years of courting might be enough to see and understand her life and personality more. There is no such thing as perfect marriage. Two people must come together and build the marriage a perfect one. One person is not going to make a marriage successful, 2 people to make it happen.
Seriously, if you decide to marry a person from another country, you should have an asset protection trust before marriage. Making sure what you have will still be yours if things go wrong.
Sorry you had to go through that. I’m going through something similar with a Colombiana and I’m going to have to make some tough life decisions if i want to continue to be with her or not. Might go to the Middle East or Eastern Europe like Romania
Wes, the bottomline is your wife completely COMPROMISED you by including that guy in your marriage/business. That is a "red line/hard stop" that should not be crossed in a relationship/marriage. Completely Unacceptable. Don't try to introspect/overthink it, your instincts were dead on and you did the right thing by leaving/defusing the situation. Just make sure you get the divorce legalized as soon as possible(don't get lazy), and do NOT look back. Get your ass to Pattiya Beach for a little fun. You deserve it. PS- I remember watching the video when you and your exwife were in Greece. There was one shot of a look on her face that spoke volumes to me. She looked like a fish out of water and not compatible at all with you and your interests. It doesnt mean she is a bad person, just on a completely different wavelength with much different interests. Carry On!
@Where’sWes. I am shocked to hear about your situation in Colombia. I have been there many times and not heard of this before. I went thru a similar situation in finding a woman I loved in Colombia, but our break up/separation was not youself. All I can say is keep your head up high and don’t let anyone else disrespect you as a Man. Much respect from California. I will watch all your videos ✌🏻
I’m truly sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I want you to know that things can and do get better. You are not alone-there is support out there, and it can feel overwhelming at times, but keep holding on. God does love and is with you.
The Prophet SAW said there are 3 ways you know some one you Travel with them live with them or do business with them... sex doesn't tell you who people are
I’m Colombian (born & raised in the states though) and i appreciate your content, I love how open minded you are. You’ve learned from this experience and luckily you’re still young and you know you can move on. Thank you for your videos, I enjoy them. I haven’t been to Medellin in 7 years and I’m looking forward to going this December with my family 🎉
@@GOAT07_ my brother is born and raised in the states and is Colombian too. Colombia grants dual citizenship, and more than likely this guy grew up in a Colombian community in the states.
I am glad you are safe now and I hope to visit Poland soon. Anyway, this is an example of an equal yoke. Many people think it’s about belief system, yes mostly it’s based on that but also upbringing, culture, lifestyle, understanding and tolerance level, and so many elements involved. That’s why a couple should give at least 1-3 years spending as much time together as possible; not talking about living together before marriage or intimacy before marriage (these are personal choices). I am single but when people say marriage is not easy, it is becoming more true as I observe from other married people.
Complex dynamics for sure , to the max. Having no father figure is a huge deal that went against you. That’s why she worked so much and the church was a backbone substitute. Unfortunate. You did well to leave. I learned that If I decide in Colombia, nothing will be tied to a woman. No immigration, no accounts. This is for at least a 10 year probation period. Lol. Things become unraveled quickly, she had no idea the damage she did and had the expectation that you’d deal with it, nope. A person with options and dignity doesn’t settle for disrespect.
1:55 as a South Asian I felt this it’s one of the reasons why I started watching you in the beginning you would talk about Asians in the diaspora and the issues we face and I thought it was cool. Sorry the marriage didn’t work out bruh but hopefully others can learn from your mistakes and now your in a happier situation!
I have filed for divorce and a restraining order on the man who sent me the death threat.
Also to clarify, when i say clubs and bars I mean salsa dancing and regular bars, not the crazy party ones.
Please don't send any hate towards my ex-wife or anybody from that church please.
If you would like to support me on my journey, you can do so here:
Venmo: @Wesleezy
Paypal: paypal.me/wesleezy
Patreon: patreon.com/wesleezy
Sorry homeslice but as a fellow colombian, that doesn fly and we can critisize the bad actions of people and other churches.
Sounds like a micro agressive church culture that controls their people loke a cult.
My sister is a protestant, not me and i see her going through the same thing with her supposed future mother in law that tries to impose her "virtuous " church life on my sis in order for my sister to be with her son.
It is probably not a good idea. We need to respect the wishes of those individuals who don’t want to be associated with your new life after breaking away from their church.
Good riddance. Sounds like a cult to me. Definitely fishy when wife comes home at 1 in the morning😮.
Bro… remember passion is a two-way road... Don't sweat them too profoundly... That culture is very communal which means they live in a big tent… you can't live in a big tent unless You forgive transgressions… besides I know you've seen how local men do their thing 😅
@@aniwee17 Breaking away from their church? Dude, he was never enslaved to their church, so why do you want to present it so?
I feel it is wrong of any institution to think it can can the level of a hold presented here, this is at a level of a cult in my view.
There should never be a situation where she has to neglect her duty to her husband for her church, these should not compete.
With my best intentions I state to you: never make decisions when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
or horny lol
That's impossible though.
@@WheresWes
😂I was legit about to comment that lol.
@@WheresWes lol. But Hornyness makes you make decisions, just like hunger gives you no options.
Yep! It's known as the H.A.L.T. state, if you are in a halt state, don't make a decision, postpone it!
The problem with cult churches is that members start becoming fanatics were you can’t enjoy life.
To enjoy life. What is that? Some "enjoyments" (i.e. drugs, sex, etc) can trap you. Religion should be about moderation, not super restriction.
And believe me, some Christians have enjoyed life (in a way you probably would support), but some women end up pregnant from the wrong man, some men end up marrying the wrong person, and some end up victims of unworthy leaders.
Religion can be good, and can even transform lives for better, but it is just the bad stuff what you hear.
--
Just to compare, today, people even have better regard to the Communist ideology than to Christianity. Just look to the Christian legacy and see, it has been a force for good more than force for bad.
It's lowkey escapism.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️
Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️
Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace , Jesus forgives and Jesus loves you.
@@linvi_chemutaiaight bro
When you give your life to Jesús is a change of life from your old self. That's why is call born again. Going to clubs, smoking weed, ect is part of your old life that you need to give up in order to follow Jesus. The Holy Spirit helps you every step of the way, you never alone.
So glad no children were involved in this. Very sorry for this experience.
a freaking men
i'n not sorry for him. i can guarantee you this guy is red pill and probably has a video about how awful american women are.
Don’t ever rush into marriage. Don’t ever marry a woman that does not put you first. Women south of the USA border are very rebellious perhaps not as much as American women but damn close. When you marry a woman make sure she fights for your love. Women who are sweet on you will constantly be doing things for you. Those are the women you choose.
@@WheresWesI hope you and other men learn your lesson about rushing to marriage and more dangerously HAVING one/or multiple CHILDREN. Glad you shared this story, most men only learn by suffering a lot.
It more sounds like you were married to a gangster's daughter, rather than an "innocent woman of the church"
Me too Divorced my colombian wife. I speak fluent spanish. She was overly entitled and thought i had to fix everything in her life and pay anything. She never cared about my needs or opinions. Just because they give you sex or say they love you it means nothing to them. Watch their actions. You are a walking ATM.
Lucliky you didn't have children. Run away!
How horrible ... 😒
In the middle of this right now myself, thank god not married yet and no kids either but holy ##%^£ the constant arguments of what’s needed and responsibility is to much. And another thing that’s kills me, they don’t take no for an answer and what they did is never in the wrong
Walking ATM... You are an extranjero, American who is rich... this is what they been raised to believe.
@@zekewilson1774 you are lucky she didn't wait til after marriage until she shows you this side of her
what were the red flags? would you marry a colombian again?
As a mexican reading that church guy text let me tell you, that's a clear threat, and it also tells that she bad mouthed you with her friends.
And these are the church going religious zealot mofkers making those threats. 😏 They use God and the church as an excuse. Bunch of hypocrites. I call them “Winos Arrepentidos”
You will feel much better once you leave Colombia, trust me bro, I know what am talking about.
yeah thats how I felt as well, my time in Colombia was most horrible time of my life.
@_andry wow is it really that bad 😮
@@lancestone4409as a Colombian, yeah the states is a great country compared to ours
@@-ana-9737 nahh.... it can't be because as a passport bro I haven't been to Columbia but it can't be THAT bad.
@@-ana-9737my wife is Colombian. Why is Colombia so bad?
I speak Spanish and her dad literally sounds like a guy from the streets
Bro literally sounds like a gangster but makes sense he went to prison
The crazy part is that’s not really her dad that’s her “father figure” which makes me question if that’s what he really is to her
That dude was actually her real boyfriend. He had access to all her socials.
@@AValentinoFilmsfacts finally someone who gets it this guy was her real lover
@Arcanethesis exactly. " u want to hit it next bro? Chill out"
Wes, I gotta disagree with you. Having sex with someone is NOT a way to get to know them!
I'd agree with this statement
It's a way to get to know a PART of them, but it isn't the whole picture. It might not even be the whole picture of their sexual nature.
He did say, sex, travel and co-living as a package.
blue pill guys never ever learn man.
Give him a break.....it was his first time........lol
All of this was self inflicted. She didn't hide any of this, he walked into it.
She did nothing wrong?
@@ModernMercenaryWomen seldom do /s
@@ModernMercenary she did but I'm sure there were thousands of red flags
Apparently the grass is greener until it’s plastic. Lol
@@ModernMercenary That's correct. He put his eggplant in the dicer himself.
The "father figure". There was more going on there than an overly protective church man. Your wife had a relationship with him. Access old messages, talk to people close to him. You'll see.
Either that or the father figure lusts after his ex wife lol. No man, aside from a father or grandfather or uncle, would be that involved in a woman's marriage if he is not lusting after her.
Damn. Hopefully you recover from this. I have several friends now on their 30s having issues with their marriage, some with kids.
You literally dodge a bullet right there. Red flags are so important nowadays. Love your channel brother.
You didn't see the red flags. You entered her frame, belief system and values.. to ultimately see you were not compatible because you had your eyes closed. You just learned a valuable lesson. The next page or chapter of your life will be much better. Pain is the best teacher.
you never see them while you're in it, it's always in hindsight after
A feminine woman enters the man's masculine frame... and flourishes.
Never enter a woman’s frame.. she will lose any and all respect for you- it’s not natural
@@WheresWes no bro you always see it you just choose to ignore it because you’re distracted by the PUSSY.
@@WheresWesyou’re taking 0 accountability and will continue to fail again if that’s your reasoning that it’s hindsight lol…
Hardcore church goers in Latin America are almost in a cult-like atmosphere. I think you may just have underestimated that. You deserved much more respect my friend.
True
Honestly same as small town Christian churches in the US
I don’t like Catholicism
@@Necrotic99
Nearly all churches in the US are like that. Big city ones are the exact same way just with (usually) neoliberal ideology attached instead of conservatism
.
Sending you love. Glad you had the opportunity to reconnect with your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your story.
You did nothing wrong. Don't ever tell yourself you did. I respect you so much for staying so strong and I am so sorry this happened to you. Your subscribers and I, are all giving you a big hug through the screen right now. Don't ever give up on love. What you encountered, I believe, was far from love. You've got this! 🖤
I support your decision. She’s not in the marriage for you. You deserve better. She dragged too many people into this marriage when it supposed to be between you and her. She doesn’t respect you or the marriage enough. I would suggest take what you learned from this experience and make better choices for yourself in the future. Also, it would be a good idea to cut all ties with her and her gang of people. Good luck. There are many good women out here. So you don’t have anything to worry about.
I don't think it was that, I think it was more that there were a lot of differences interms of expectations that just weren't met as well as spiritual differences in maturity. I am not saying one has to constantly be at church however the bible does stress the importance of not forsaking gathering of other Christians. It sounds like the church gave him solice and comfort but in terms of belief there were just at different stages. Furthermore, I am assuming she was in a church that had "pre cult-like" tendencies, judging by the spiritual father aspect that he mentioned, etc, which would definitely influence her thinking because in places like that marriage is seen as a community project.
@@lolly3596 I personally think marriage needs a community and a church community is a good thing to have. I think she was at a different stage of her Christian life and he wasn't at a stage where if he was as committed he wouldn't be asking her to not go to church on some Sundays. That tells me a lot about how he views church. But again I am not criticizing him for making this request, all I am saying is that when you meet a lot of long term committed Christians, they usually are going to church three times a week. Once on Wednesday and Sunday then Saturday for church work. It's normal behavior.
I think she doesn't see how her daily life will have to include another person who will need her time and therefore her work and church life will need to share its time with him. She seemed to not want to or it was really difficult for her to make those compromises for her marriage. Then again boundaries to her may seem different to him because of where they are in their Christian life. It's complicated 😢😮
I just hope that he keeps growing his Christian faith. A lot of people walk away from a Christian life because of a bad church experience and that is wrong. A Christian should never judge their faith by who they meet at a church because everyone at church is there for being flawed. It's like going to a hospital and thinking everyone there is as healthy as you. So never make that mistake.
This might sound wrong but I genuinely mean this, I am happy that this man did not experience infidelity in his marriage because that seems to be the story for almost every marriage I hear about these days.
@@TheFergo911 Very true friend, very good analysis
The guy who threatened you claims to be a Christian. LOL Typical Colombian Christian; they are Christian in church and then revert right back to the old ways. Pablo Escobar people used to go to church and repent the walk out and do what they did. You saved yourself a lot of heartache later in life. Sometimes a divorce is the only solution.
Same with women! The ones who goes to Church and pretends to be a big Christians they are the worst. Saturday night they sleep with 2 different guys and Sunday morning they go to church pretending they are nice innocent girls. BS!!
true that bro
this is christians everywhere. pretty much rolled my eyes when i saw church+death threats together.
Aka a hypocrite
This type of ignorant comments really evoque the Pablo out of any Latino.
Sorry for what you experienced. But dude you were obnoxious during that time always slamming western culture and specifically the US. I guess nobody truly knows what goes on in a relationship behind closed doors.
Man…that woman did not love you, period. A woman in love, regardless of the country she is from, does not treat his loved one this way.
Wow!!! Bro, I'm so glad you got out of the situation. God bless you. Liked and Subscribed (ALL)
As long as you walk away learning from your mistakes and own up to them you’ll emerge in a better place than where you were.
amen
walk...gi gomez threaten to chop him up cartel style....he ran......
Not necessarily, he lost a ton of time, effort and money only to get disrespected and threatened in return.
@danielwells774 the great thing about life is that unless it was a hostage situation, these were made of ones own free will and choice. Now beyond the philosophical arguments you could make about determinism and free will, that is why this example would be considered "mistakes" "lessons" "pain as a teacher".
Damn, what a situation to be in, AND in a country like Colombia. I am 40 years old now, never married and never will be, just too much risk and hassle. Stay strong, fellow Gents!
What the country has to do with this , the bad guy ??😂😂 i was in a church in california a lot ex mates where going to trying to change their life .
Damn! respect for staying strong and keep continuing in life.Not many people speaks open about past marriage.
thanks Rami!
thanks for sharing. you have given me in my life a good reality check and also reminds me that the world needs more people like you who help others by sharing their experiences.
I am glad you got out of the situation. I respect the way you talk about the very sad experience.
Hey Wes, as someone of Chinese descent who is married to a Latina I related to a lot of things you said. It's true when you come from a kind of unaffectionate and honestly somewhat cold culture like many East Asian cultures it's easy to fall in love with the warmth, affection, and socially oriented focus of something like Latin cultures. We have a night and day kind of experience between both sides of our family. On my Asian side, everyone does their own thing, is cordial and we normally only see each other on holidays. On my Latin side, everyone is closely involved in each other's lives and we always see each other and I've lost count of how many Christenings, baptisms, communions, weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, backyard/park BBQs, quinceañeras/sweet sixteens, etc.... that we've attended.
The grass isn't greener on the other side of course (as you seemed to have learned as well) and being involved with a lot of people often means people drama and sometimes their headaches becoming your headaches.
As a black woman I grew up like East Asians. I too was drawn into my ex's family (he was black also) because of their love they had for each other. Key words "each other". Their love and support really stopped with their family. They didn't really like outsiders I found after about 5 months as the women felt I was taking their male relative away from them.
The majority of them were unmarried/single women and looked st my ex as the patriarch of the family and had been single for 10 yrs before he met me.
I must say if I ever date again I will go for the family who only gets together on holidays and such. And since I don't celebrate holidays I'll just not attend. I'm sure the family wouldn't mind if they aren't tight knit
@@swiftkarma4436 I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I get why you'd avoid someone with a complicated family dynamic. As I said to Wes, sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I have the warm, embracing and deeply involved experience with my wife's family but damnit if I don't want to just do shit simple every once in a while.
Like recently I wanted to go see Godzilla so I asked one of our cousins if he was interested. The next thing you know there was 11 people going so it meant we had to find reserved seating together for all 11 of us that was also a reasonable distance to everyone, then we had to figure out the car arrangements, then making sure everyone got the time and place right, and got there relatively on time.
@DensterNY thank you for your kind words. Your simple outing turned into quite the ordeal I see. I am happy that you have a lovely family.
@@swiftkarma4436 you are going from extreme to extreme. I believe the happiness is in the between.
Just you. Cold culture? 😂😂😂 Dang, what a poor upbringing.
That death threat made me upset but the defense for it was worse. Your ex should have flat out condemned that behavior. Her dismissive behavior is a tell tale sign that she'll put up with horrible people just because their friends.
she probably didnt mind if wes was chopped up cartel style
As a Colombian, let me tell you: That's the complicity people have for those types of situation here. It is a weird mixture between Asian collectivisim and aversion of shame, and nepotism.
pretty sure in the US a threat like that can get him arrested
Family.
Or put them up to it. Wes seems naive.
I live in Mexico and some of these people are dangerous despite the smiles they show you. When you have conflict with them- due to their narcissism/fraud/lying- or simply disagree with them you will see their true colors.
Its good you got out early!! My situation was I was in a 9 year relationship and my ex never put herself in my shoes either or on my side of the family. She cheated on me on the 9th year. You got out early so its a blessing for you. I am still resentful I wasted 9 years of my life but am recovering and hopefully healed from the trauma. Your ex was a covert narcissist!
He's lucky he didn't end up dead! He seems to think the church people did this on their own, whereas from what I'm hearing I wouldn't be surprised if the wife coordinated with the church people to terrorize him!
Foreigners don't realize how much of an outsider you can be when you travel. Just because your heart is good, etc. means nothing! They simply see you as an object to be manipulated.
Many locals have motives FROM THE START when they deal with you and you are an actor in a movie you know nothing about. 🤣
You have many great qualities such as self-reflection, emotional stabilities, righterouesness. These are really well embraced in China, Japan, and some other Eastern European cultures. I can concur with you on many things you look for in the video, however, they seem so rare in North America, Latin countries and other general western countries.
I dated a Colombian guy, there was a lot of gaslighting, emotional manipulatuon, etc. I feel you ❤
You wanted to be the one manipulating and you got the perfect match and since you didn't want competition you surrendered. 😂
Wes, I am sorry to see you struggle in your head. I am at least 2X your age. You need to understand yourself and stop looking to a woman, a country, and/or a church to give you your sense of self. Please let the past go and focus on what is important to you personally. Focus on the required things in your life and the no-deal things in your life too. Don't worry about what others think of you, instead focus on living your life in a space of internal integrity. If you do that others will see you for what you are, gravitate towards it and respect it. Be humble, be authentic and live your life. I live in Brasil. I am American by birth and Brasileiro by choice. I speak Portuguese and live completely Brasilian but I will tell you this. My wife is Brasilian. She knows that I am committed to her completely but from the beginning I made certain that she knew my lists of requirements and no-deal for myself and our relationship. I also made certain that she not only had her own list but that she knew that I accepted it. We both know that this agreement while not static is not easily modified and is a deal breaker if broken. This is my second marriage as the first imploded because we did not base our relationship on each others lists and our joint agreement of mutual understanding. I believe that a man's destiny is dependent on the strength of his bonds and that bond with his partner is the most important that he will ever form. It should be cared for diligently. So . . . your marriage was broken from the beginning my friend. It is hard to say it but if you accept it, learn from it and move on . . . then you will live your best life . . . which I want for you. Fica Bem, Faz Bem (Be Good, Do Good)
Solid
Conselho muito bom. Irmão Lennertz, este é um mundo pequeno. Falei com Wes na frente de um restaurante vietnamita em Envigado antes de sair. Espero poder te conhecer um dia quando passar um tempo em Santa Catarina.
@@Stoney-g1o Claro, o mundo é pequeno, meu amigo Stoney. Sempre temos o oportunidade conversar no sul do Brasil . . . or maybe in Colombia sometime in the future. I have interacted with Wes a few times online and he is a good soul. I want him to have the life that he wants and deserves as a birthright of being human. It is always good when we cross paths, my friend. I am spending more time currently in Porto Alegre and Rio Grande do Sul so if you find yourself headed to SC let me know so we can plan how to share a meal together. Fica bem. Faz bem. Stoney
yes, im from Colombia, Barranquilla, I follow Wes before his marriage or his life in Manizales, i inmediately realized he took a bad desicion, worst when you mix all with religion, he was weak with his problems in Medellin not strong enough to take that kind of desicion, thanks god you are out of it.
@@TiagoLennertz Yes, I have a friend in Porto Alegre. Just a short ways away. Working on my Portuguese every day as well as Spanish.
Excellent learning experience. She wasnt really into you, and that pastor knew it.
Looking back on it, as an outsider, it seems like the relationship would never work. Wes likes to go out, travel and do new, fun things. While the wife likes to go to church every week and is content stay in her hometown. Not on the same page
yeah thats a good point. i do both like both lifestyles but as a balance
There is no way she was working that much, (as an accountant!) I theorize she was seeing other men and she didn't want you ever going out because you might catch her. The church was an excuse, -they don't care-. I dated a colombian in the States and she'd lie and cheat like that.@@WheresWes
@@WheresWes stay single bro 🎉🎉🎉❤️❤️✅✅ sorry to hear but life is too short
@@dillavery2696truth
Wife was controlling that is for sure ... the universe showed him ...
Left my ex Colombian gf too. My situation was getting more difficult but she wasn't ready for the upcoming hell.
I could do what you did which is go into her frame and go back to Colombia.
Never ever chase the woman, if she wants you for real, she needs to come into your frame, not you into hers.
You also dodged a bullet my guy, May God give you a better, more understanding and loving partner with whom you'll live a beautiful life.
Blessings 🙌
Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that many (not all) Colombians have a tendency to make excuses for the worst behavior and very rarely take accountability for their actions. Even the term “No dar papaya” is a way to not accept that fact that the country is dangerous.
They LITERALLY NEVER ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR MISTAKES!! They'll blame EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else, except themselves.
True of most Latin culture nations
Third world IQ developing countries make third world IQ people meaning they are still behaving like children . They “only understand boot and fist”(fury)
She did it on purpose it was planned that’s why they stay quiet
My gosh it's interesting to hear that and I'm glad I'm not the only one who experienced this. My now ex Colombian boyfriend (I'm an Aussie), never once took responsibility for anything he did. We only lasted 11 months because I couldn't take it anymore. Plus the gaslighting and victim hood made me crazy.
As a colombian livinging in US for most of my life ; i tell you, this is equal as you date a very religious person in USA you will live the church life . You prospected to them as person that you arent " disonest" you need to look into yourself what is wrong first this why you got a bad relation with your family also. If you arent a religious dont jump into you may not be prepared for a radical change in life . I was in a christian church n i felt being sucked 24/7 in da church , so i left.
good for you, some churches can be cultish like scientology
He was with a narcissistic person not so much about religion
What a disingenuous comment. If she really was about the conservative Christian life then she WOULD NOT have acted the way she did nor would her "family" have acted the way they did. Para que lo entiendas de manera clara - eso es un mentira completa y lo que quieres hacer aqui es dar excusas para que tu comunidad no la vean por lo que son en realidad. Si de verdad fueran Cristianos de verdad, supieras que ya al asumir el voto sagrado de matrimonio, todo lo que ocurre dentro de ese pacto es entre TRES individuos no mas, EL, ELLA y DIOS. Mas aun, ella DEBERIA de SOMETERSE a la autoridad de su esposo. Este chico claramente explico que EL ya asumia la responsabilidad de pagar por la mayoria de sus necesidades, y podio pagar lo todo si ella hubiese dejado su trabajo. El, como cabeza de su hogar, le pidio a su esposa que queria que reduciera sus obligaciones fuera del matrimonio para que ellos puedan reforzar su matrimonio entre ellos mismos; esto es algo muy sano y natural. Ella fue CONTRA la misma palabra de DIOS y actuo como esos mismos Fariseos en la Biblia que les importa mas como los perciben su comunidad que seguir la palabra de Dios. Ella es una mujer soberbia que en su necedad no obedecio a la cabeza de su hogar, ni intento de negociar para satisfacerlo, mas aun ella hablo mal de el ante otros fuera del sagrado pacto y causo que un malparido narcotraficante Fariseo diablo con dos patas amenazara a su proprio esposo. Muy seguido he encontrado que estas comunidades religiosas son mas que todo APARENCIAS; puros Fariseos hipocritas. Ya saben donde van a parar cuando llegue el dia de juicio final.
"22 Muchos me dirán en aquel día: Señor, Señor, ¿no profetizamos en tu nombre, y en tu nombre echamos fuera demonios, y en tu nombre hicimos muchos milagros? 23 Y entonces les declararé: Nunca os conocí; apartaos de mí, hacedores de maldad."
Find Christ then find a good church. People suffer in bad churches because they seem not to know what Christ wants for them.
This was clearly a legalistic church that thrived on narcissism and spiritual abuse. Most churches are not like this. This man just wasn't aware enough of this type of thing to see the red flags in the beginning.
Been following your story for a few years, fellow Christian here, from what you're saying a church like that seemed poisonous not only for your marriage, your health, but also your faith. Good to see you're well, learning and growing after such a hard season.
all protestant church run like that
@@raycdo2012 every church has its problems, but Wes' experience sounds like he encountered a very fundamentalist/cult like church.
@raycdo2012 They really don’t. This church sounds very cultish, although biblical theology does lend itself to a cultish mindset anyway
@@nocomment4848 if you dont like Christianity say so
Well, theologically he was in the wrong, and so was the Church. Although the intitial action by his wife was correct.
Matthew 18:15-20 ESV
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
God 100% did not tell you to marry someone to divorce them to teach you a lesson. You taught yourself a lesson
I feel you bro. I had a relationship with a narciscist woman for 3 years, well, I discovered her bad traits later on. She said one day she betrayed me, just after I asked her in marriage. I guess it was a blessing. No kids, no divorce to file. But I was very sad and depressed for like 6 months. Now I'm healed! My advice is to finish a toxic relationship before kids or marriage. Because, kids and marriage don't save any relationship
Sorry, but you’re not healed. That’s years and sometimes a decade even with daily maintenance of work on codependency, self-worth issues, self-esteem issues, self love issues, self focus. That don’t get resolved in six months.
Here’s how I know, anyways you never even once mentioned codependency, which I have odd people for trying to be conscious and figure out their bad relationship. That’s great, but a lot of people don’t realize the core issue is childhood and codependency which you have not talked about it. also go back to therapy or you need to get books or audiobooks and explores on your own because you’re definitely You don’t even know why you picked an attracted somebody like that
Marriage is tough man. As someone who married and divorced young, there is life after this. It is important you go through the process of reconciling this for yourself. I've been remarried and am about to hit my 30-year anniversary. So, keep pressing on. Who is at fault is less important than understanding your own internal struggles. better yourself, understand yourself, and move on. And I agree with you 100% On manners of marriage it is you and your wife against the world. You can fuss, fight, argue, all of that. But if something external tries to break in... oh no, it is ON. You are not the first person and won't be the last person to come across this vendetta like behavior. The Latin sense of family is admired by many, but it is also something that can go very sideways.
Wes, new subscriber to your channel. Really appreciate your candour and your objective commentary on your journey - as an Asian in his mid-30s who grew up in New Zealand, can totally appreciate and relate to many of the frustrations you expressed.
Just wanted to say thank you for being so matter-of-fact with your vlogs, and really enjoying following your journey. Have a great week!
Huge red flag 🚩 that she was coming back home so late from an accounting job. Something was going on
Wes I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage, I haven't been in the channel in a little while and it breaks my heart to see you relationship end. As a Colombian it shames me how they are speaking to you, but don't give up the faith and your self awareness of what's right and what's wrong
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences Wes.
This video should be mandatory viewing for all gringos who hyper romanticize Colombia and it’s culture. If you are at all looking for long term partners especially in Medellin, learn that you will likely face immense headwinds navigating the chaotic, hedonistic and barbaric nature of the paisas. Once, a Colombian-American expat in Medellin told me, “You will love us, until you will get to know us!”
Paisas are the whole of Colombia. And way over rated because of their city.
Ha,he was right.I spent 20 months in Colombia over 3 trips.Yes,Columbians were wonderfull,non stop amigo,caballero,all sort of polite formulas,but when the mask fall it is another story.Columbians are disorganized,irresponsible,braindead ,unnacountable violent savages.Just look at how they push their way into a subway car.
In Cali entetering a bus from a trainlike platform,I got catapulted into the seats by people pushing behind.I got scammed and cheated by "good friends" nearly killed in Cali when I got robbed,pushed to the ground by three youth with one of them.kicking me in the head.I am lucky to be alive,with no fracture and having kept my eyesight.
One Columbian on an expat facebook page wrote:
In Colombia,60% of the people are
wonderfull,and the other 40% horrible.20 to 30 years ago they were killing each others left and right.These people haven't disappeared.Many would be in their 40's,50's60's and 70's now.
Yes Colombia is full of murderers,do not forget that.
Just look
🎯
Mexico can be like this too. I live in Yucatan, Mexico. I've never met more chaotic TOXIC people.
Luckily my current village/town of Hocaba doesn't give too much of this vibe. Plus I intentionally limit my interactions with people to only what is necessary- buying things, etc.- for the most part.
Except for talking with much older people in the park, etc. I like to do that and they seem to be drawn to me. Everyone is drawn to me actually (my whole life, not always a good thing! 🤣) but I prefer chatting with the older people in my town. I am fascinated by them sometimes.
Sounds like you went down there looking for something else and was taken for a ride.
I’m Latino born and raised in very conservative south Texas. To me Latinos south of the border most of the people are TOXIC that come with tons problems. People there don’t do anything to help each other or themselves that is why the country is so damn toxic.
Thanks for sharing this side of your story. People divorce for many reasons and yours makes sense that it is important to try to understand each other’s culture and respect them - wouldn’t say is easy.
I have no sympathy for any man who marries a woman from South America or the Caribbean, you should start to know how they work. They are extremely beautiful women but emotionally the most immature people on this planet. The constant me, me, me, the constant cheating, seeking validation from other men, nagging at other women, this over-emotionality (from extremely dismissive to death threats), it's just not worth it.
That’s a wild generalization. You can’t say everyone from a certain part of the world is the same. Tell me where you’re from and I too can tell you the negatives of your culture. There’s not a single group of people in this world that is just “good” with no negatives. Every person is their own thing.
@@thebest4046 I am part of this culture...surprise!
Much respect. I love following your channel
...i can relate ...helped me understand a similar relationship ...helped me to heal some past hurts...thanks for sharing 😊❤
I think you break things down very well, you make things very easy to understand!!! Thank you for creating this video!!! I think this is a very valuable lesson for you and for individuals like me that is looking for answers in regards to relationships!!!
13:00 I laughed out loud, you’re so right. You got a new subscriber!
Wow bro, that was a really close call. Glad that you have gotten yourself out of this mess and all the best to you moving forward. 👍🏼💪🏼
I'm from Manizales and currently live in Medellín. Since I discovered your channel, I've loved it because you found a great community (I'm Catholic, not Christian). You talked extensively about my city and culture, and I really supported that. I identify with you because I fell in love with a Catholic girl about 1.5 years ago; she's also my ex now because she won a scholarship to the Netherlands. Anyway, I understand what you mean when you say that you were trying to fit in with this community and follow all their rules (which can be extremely difficult if you grew up in a different environment).
You messed up when you married a conservative religious woman, while she believed you were becoming part of her religion and community otherwise she wouldn't marry you, isn't it? In reality, you didn't adapt to the Christian lifestyle of this community after you were her boyfriend, lately, her husband. Obviously, your ex-wife always prioritizes the teachings of her church because, for them, they are following the Word of God.
What makes me think this? You consume drugs, have changed your religion, and have had several sexual relationships with other women. You are also making fast friendships because you are frequently traveling. Your life seems so fluid. In contrast, your ex-wife will always be Christian and be with her family and community. She is grounded. You are liquid.
My personal recommendation is: if you have realized throughout this divorce that you are likely to be constantly changing of place, culture, religion, or people. Meet people with the same interests and values as you.
P.S. I don't know her, her family, or her community. I am not Christian. I really appreciate your videos, content, and insights.
You're catholic dude, that means you are a part of the oldest christian church, I think what you mean to say is that you are not protestant
Who cares? Christ is the WAY. Not Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans etc etc etc. @@MarkIsMyMiddleName
@@MarkIsMyMiddleName Catholicism began to exist after the great schism of 1054AD. Before that, there was no Catholic church. Most Catholics *believe* they are Christian, while Orthodox - from whom the Catholic religion stems - do not see them as such. I am confused as to why this Catholic commenter says "I'm Catholic, not Christian" 😂 that's our line.
@@FreeNDeed777 Paul was the direct apostle under Jesus who delegated the authority and spirit of God to. Do you deny the Apostles?? This doctine is followed in any Biblical Domination and the Bible is the Law particularly the new testament. the point to be made that Church Authority is valid and each one thinks differently, which is why i agree with OP, and Wes's problem was not doctrinally doing any research on the Bible nor that domination.
Matthew 18:15-20 ESV
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
@@lks11 Jesus is the Way, not brother Paul.
When I saw the title of this video...I was like damn you're milking this topic. But finally in this video you shared more depth to the situation and I think it could actually be a learning experience for others who may find themselves in a similar situation or pressure in a different country with a different culture. Thank you for sharing. This video shows how very mature & responsible you are. I think you learned a lot about yourself from your experience of living in Colombia & that will carry you forward wherever life takes you! Thanks bro!
A lot of Asians have this idea that they are highly adaptable people. "The ultimate chameleon." No, you probably aren't as adaptable as you think you are.
Most people probably should just marry someone of similar race, similar culture, and similar religion.
It is really a coping mechanism due to generational trauma, escaping from war and poverty.
Marrying someone from your race, religion doesn't guarantee happiness. Some people like something different, at least he has had a life lesson and a story to tell
You don't know what your talking about. I'm mexican American and I rarely dated hispanic women because the vast majority of them are fucked up toxic individuals. I've dated Asian women and they are much more pleasant and educated
Agree except the race thing is quiet cringe
The bible says not to marry unbelievers and this man's story is the perfect example. They are on different wavelength spiritually and this is what caused the seperation. I hope you two find happiness in ur future
actions speak louder than words. So many Christians out here not practicing what they preach.
He was married to a narcissistic person that’s what the videos about
Never marry into someone else’s frame. You should marry someone who’s similar like you and fit into your frame. If she is too different from you culturally, everything will crash.
I recognise that voice in the message you played!
I would never have expected that. It just goes to show that you can't take people at face value.
It sucks that you had to go through that. Anita is lovely but it's clear that it wasn't right for you guys and I'm glad that you are able to get out of the situation and get on with your life.
Cheers bro. Yeah that's why the threat shocked me too
You recognized it as in its a notorious criminal who is known?
Hey Wes, enjoy your time in Thailand/Asia. Please make more travel content, I'd like to hear more of your perspective.
will do bro
You are telling the truth. I dated a lot of Latina girlfriends when I was growing up, but I realized quickly that I could not marry any of them because of the hold their mothers held over them and their sisters' lives. Although they had both parents in the home, their fathers were mostly hands-off with their girls and the moms were in charge of them. I would hear my girlfriends' mom telling even their married daughters what to do, and the daughters would follow the moms instructions over their own husbands' guidelines. I knew I couldn't be a part of that, because it should always be a husband and his wife against the world with their families support, not the family running their lives in the backyard. Before anyone ask, my girlfriends were Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Mexican, where they were from did not matter, I would see the same things playing out almost every time. When it did not happen, it was because their fathers were very dominant and the wives feared them, but even then everyone had an opinion in your relationships. It was eye-opening, because it thought me that men everywhere had issues in marriages regardless of their cultures.
One of my coworkers is planning on marrying a Columbian woman. I visited a couple years ago there for new years. Any time she got upset and caught an attitude she would say "I am paisa, I am crazy" I would just shake my head and be like Goodluck with that man. You're gonna need it.
Interesting experience. We all try to fill the void we see in ourselves by looking to others around us. Ultimately, it sounds like nothing was lost, but rather it was a learning experience. Thank you for sharing your reflections.
great story brother, more people need to hear this... her putting something before you at all times is a red flag for sure
It seems like she really wasn’t into him. Just wanted to be married to someone who she could control.
Wes, this was a powerful video. I watched your channel a few years ago when I was studying Colombia to see if I wanted to go. I remember you talking up Manizales and the church and the women being different. The 2 most interesting things you touched on were that you weren't going to go through the church to have a wife and how they weaponized "face/face saving" against you. I can relate in that I have family who are much the same... if we are to be a family I have to go through their church. I called their bluff and haven't been to see them in 25 years as I'm not religious.
On the saving face, I would think that you're familiar being Asian, but this is the first time I've heard it done this way. Not to say it's new. The whole situation just seems like assimilate or else. I have an uncle who would've been so happy with that situation... having the church as his proxy wife. Ultimately, I went to Thailand (for a visit) and it seems you did too. I'll have to check out your new vids.
Thanks for sharing bro. Despite your bitter and terrible experience, I was able to extract precious gems and can help young men to spot red flags in a potential marriage mate. I come to understand that you don't really know a person until you live with them. I wish you well in your new life; it must be refreshing. Cheers!
Wysłuchałem Twojej historii i naprawdę współczuję… Jestem pastorem i zrozumiałem, że trafiłeś do ultrareligijnej wspólnoty kościelnej, która mocno wpływała na Twoje osobiste życie w małżeństwie. To niedopuszczalne i bardzo przykre 🥺
You walked away from an abusive marriage. Good for you👏👏👏 wishing you the best now❤
As the Bible says, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." This statement definitely sums up the man who threatened you.
Amen to that bro
Good for you for getting away from that toxic relationship and all the craziness that came with it.
Sorry to hear and glad you’re safe. God bless❤
Praying for you. So sorry all this happened but thankful you’re using it to make yourself better not bitter :-)
There’s a lot to say but I’ll leave this for the younger couples. DO NOT talk about your relationship, especially the issues with other people. Issues are between you, your partner, and a therapist should it get to that point.
Nice video Wes keep it going bro
Same bro, also divorced when I was around 23 or so, now I'm 31. I lost my older brother a year ago to an overdose and I can tell you that there in more to life than society's, church's and people's opinion don't matter that much. Personally, I think that the only thing that matters is the list of things that makes ME happy. Whether it's yoga, friends, plant medicine ceremonies to work on myself or even alone time to go deeper into your own soul and unravel things so you can be a better version of yourself. This video is beautiful that you can articulate this all. I really commend you man, I've also followed you for a couple of years I think regarding me moving to Colombia. This video is amazing to see you as a person and how you've grown. If you ever need to talk please reach out brother.
Are you moving to Colombia?
Must have the same value first. If she wants you to be going to Church or whatever, you will have to and vice versa. If you cannot do it then you shouldn't be together. It will always be a conflict. Find something that fits the same value. And that threat, yeah, definitely report that. That is a crazy story.
I have followed you for a long time. You are so kind. She said she had Jesus, but she didn’t have love, true selfless love for you, so how could she have Jesus? You did good by letting her go. Paul wrote to the Corinthians and ask them to seek peace, peace! And you sought your peace, so the God of heaven will be with you always.
Marry a good Asian wife. There’s plenty you can culturally and spiritually connect with.
It’s not about the nationality or the race of the woman it’s about the character.
There are plenty of Asian women who are hell on wheels as a wife trust me Asian men have told me controlling manipulative and narcissistic. Yes that’s right Asian women. .
A good relationship with a woman is about the contents of her character. That is it.
@@SmarticalBoy12Just find a woman in America where you live. Y’all crossing countries wasting years still ending up single . It’s desperate
America
According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher, with approximately 60-67% of second marriages ending in divorce.
Asian Americans have a divorce rate of 12.4 divorces per 1,000 people. This is lower than the divorce rate for white Americans, which is 15.1 divorces per 1,000 people
The official divorce rate for Thailand is very low on average. Much lower than the US or even Australia for that matter. The official divorce rate for Thailand is 0.058 per 10,000 people. This is low compared to the US with 53 per 10,000 people or 2.5 per 10,000 people in Australia
Find a wife in America 🇺🇸 is more than likely will end in divorce versus Asia.
Let’s the facts and stats speak 🗣️
Good night 😴💤🌙
You're going to be alright! Stay strong and positive! And keep marching forward! Your friend, Per
cy!
It is one of the pitfalls of marrying a foreign girl in a foreign land. Her family and her friends are on her side and you are alone. Even the friends you thought are your friends could essentially count as on her side cos they have more history/more in common with her rather than you.
There are countless history lessons on this in Chinese history where the woman's side gets too powerful. The side of the empress grew so powerful the emperor has no power. Sometimes it became so bad that the emperor's own family members are in danger. Check out the history of first empress of Han dynasty if you are interested. The real woman empress who can call herself "emperor" of Tan dynasty came to power the same way. An emperor at least would have people loyal to him to start with but you are alone in foreign land means you are alone unless you are a powerful businessman or something and can lift someone up and he/she be loyal to you in the community. Just my thoughts.
It is always a power play in human relationships. Either it with you own family, business relationship or so called love.
I would love human relations to just be ideal and be just about pure love and friendship but in reality it is not.
Exactly!
so essentially if you want to succeed in dating abroad, you still need money and connections... the trade-off something to consider and differences between dating in the US vs abroad don't seem so large now.
Damn dude. I remember watching some of your videos back in 2022/2023 and how you were so happy to marry this Colombian girl. I completely forgot about your channel until just now when the YT algorithm pushed this onto my front page...
Life throws you curveballs man. Glad you are still doing well now, and that you've grown as a person
I can kinda understand both parties, but Wes, I understand you in reflection to my personal experience. My ex-husband would have lunch with the Pastor of our church and I would find it so weird that they didn't want me involved. He would get home and say all the things he spoke about and it was all about me and how I need to change. He created this persona of me that was far from the whole truth. Now, being divorced, we still go to the same church, and I still see remnants of him painting this picture of who I am to the pastor...but, my relationship with God is so strong that I know the truth will come out. Some of it has come out, but I am assured that more will come to light of his character.
I also noticed that about Latin culture. They don’t ever seem to TRY to make the effort of learning your culture. It’s highkey selfish. Idc if the person is a nationalist. If you love someone, you will try to make the attempt to learn their culture and language just like how you learned her culture. I think it’s a Latin thing. Girls from Dominican Republic are lowkey the same. I notice they aren’t interested in learning or diving deep into the American culture.
Girls are not clever enough for this. That’s why you invite a girl to your place, into your frame and not the other way round. Otherwise they just become lazy.
I see the same thing with 1st gen Latinos in America ngl
I'm a Mexican woman married to a norteamerican man. This is a second marriage for both of us. We have been together 23 years and we are both the happiest we have ever been. We consider ourselves spiritual but not religious. Maybe that helps. I have told my daughters that their husbands and children come first before their relationship with me. They have good strong marriages.
Simply not true. A good woman is supportive of her husband. Latin women who are family focused will put their own family before their extended family, but they still have strong ties to their culture.
It's because they don't like unlike that they just want a green card 😂😂😂
Thanks for sharing your story brodie. Sorry you had to experience that but good on you for taking the high road 🙌🏽.
It’s really brave to share this… not many people go through this… thanks for sharing.. I had something similar regarding the church aspect
The way I saw the whole picture was that you did not allow yourself to know her more. 2 years of courting might be enough to see and understand her life and personality more. There is no such thing as perfect marriage. Two people must come together and build the marriage a perfect one. One person is not going to make a marriage successful, 2 people to make it happen.
living together before marrying someone is the breaking point to actually know if you're gonna be with the person forever
Seriously, if you decide to marry a person from another country, you should have an asset protection trust before marriage. Making sure what you have will still be yours if things go wrong.
Sorry you had to go through that. I’m going through something similar with a Colombiana and I’m going to have to make some tough life decisions if i want to continue to be with her or not.
Might go to the Middle East or Eastern Europe like Romania
Wes, the bottomline is your wife completely COMPROMISED you by including that guy in your marriage/business. That is a "red line/hard stop" that should not be crossed in a relationship/marriage. Completely Unacceptable.
Don't try to introspect/overthink it, your instincts were dead on and you did the right thing by leaving/defusing the situation. Just make sure you get the divorce legalized as soon as possible(don't get lazy), and do NOT look back.
Get your ass to Pattiya Beach for a little fun. You deserve it.
PS- I remember watching the video when you and your exwife were in Greece. There was one shot of a look on her face that spoke volumes to me. She looked like a fish out of water and not compatible at all with you and your interests. It doesnt mean she is a bad person, just on a completely different wavelength with much different interests. Carry On!
wes almost got chopped up
If she’s that different I wonder how and why they met
kinda sad someone on vacation is a fish out of water.
religion is the opiate of the masses
@Where’sWes. I am shocked to hear about your situation in Colombia. I have been there many times and not heard of this before. I went thru a similar situation in finding a woman I loved in Colombia, but our break up/separation was not youself. All I can say is keep your head up high and don’t let anyone else disrespect you as a Man. Much respect from California. I will watch all your videos ✌🏻
Bro we give you props for opening up online and telling people your story. You learned the hard way, so that many other men won't have to.
I’m truly sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I want you to know that things can and do get better. You are not alone-there is support out there, and it can feel overwhelming at times, but keep holding on. God does love and is with you.
The Prophet SAW said there are 3 ways you know some one you Travel with them live with them or do business with them... sex doesn't tell you who people are
great point
"SAW" lmao...."let's play a game "...
Sex is just one part but a necessary part along with love, trust, commitment, loyalty, friendship and compatibility.
@@ryujohnson366what he meant by SAW is peace be upon him.he is talking about the prophet peace be upon him ( sallalahu alayhi wassalam )
I’m Colombian (born & raised in the states though) and i appreciate your content, I love how open minded you are. You’ve learned from this experience and luckily you’re still young and you know you can move on. Thank you for your videos, I enjoy them. I haven’t been to Medellin in 7 years and I’m looking forward to going this December with my family 🎉
columbian woman sound pretty brutal....
@@tednguyen7258there are all kinds of women in Colombia.
I was born and raised in the states but I am Colombian hahahaha🤡
@@GOAT07_ Colombiana chiviada 🤣
@@GOAT07_ my brother is born and raised in the states and is Colombian too. Colombia grants dual citizenship, and more than likely this guy grew up in a Colombian community in the states.
Just be grateful that you never had kids with her.
amen bro
I am glad you are safe now and I hope to visit Poland soon. Anyway, this is an example of an equal yoke. Many people think it’s about belief system, yes mostly it’s based on that but also upbringing, culture, lifestyle, understanding and tolerance level, and so many elements involved. That’s why a couple should give at least 1-3 years spending as much time together as possible; not talking about living together before marriage or intimacy before marriage (these are personal choices). I am single but when people say marriage is not easy, it is becoming more true as I observe from other married people.
Great story, thanks for sharing.
Complex dynamics for sure , to the max. Having no father figure is a huge deal that went against you. That’s why she worked so much and the church was a backbone substitute. Unfortunate. You did well to leave.
I learned that If I decide in Colombia, nothing will be tied to a woman. No immigration, no accounts. This is for at least a 10 year probation period. Lol. Things become unraveled quickly, she had no idea the damage she did and had the expectation that you’d deal with it, nope. A person with options and dignity doesn’t settle for disrespect.
hou nailed it bro
1:55 as a South Asian I felt this it’s one of the reasons why I started watching you in the beginning you would talk about Asians in the diaspora and the issues we face and I thought it was cool. Sorry the marriage didn’t work out bruh but hopefully others can learn from your mistakes and now your in a happier situation!