Preach! I know it's my own abandonment issues that make me question why I'm not good enough. Logically I know I would never take him back. There is just the unhealed part of me that wants him to want to come back so that I can feel validated. I know that this isn't healthy thinking. I know I need more trauma therapy but I'm a work in progress.
I enjoyed telling her when she showed up at my place for the 5th time, "if I 'loved' you like you say you 'love' me, you'd be running away like your hair's on fire."
I had no interest in the Hoover. Walked right out the door. I knew the other person wanted to hurt me as much as possible. F$ck that. Shout out to the chicken
I'm so happy he's not showing anymore.. He finally understood ( yeah right😆 the cycles are just way longer in between) that the only thing he would get is a narc injury, me being completely indifferent. He can ruin his reputation with others trying to ruin mine. Hehehe when you know what is going on behind the scene, you are just glad he's doing his usual self destruction work, me having nothing to do with it. Who gives a shit indeed.
Empathetic people we want to be hoovered for the supposed validation, but when you discover that they dont give a damn of you as a person you understand that the hoover is simply another huge lack of respect to check if you are still are dumb for they keep fooling you.
Both. Even an unaware narcissist needs to move on and stop beating a dead horse. If people keep letting us come back and nothing is getting better, we won't learn any lessons. We will always see you/others as the problem. Now if everyone had boundaries for themselves and left due to self respect, we would be forced to look inward and self reflect with some real work behind it.
They try to dump their low self worth onto you. And they are empathy impaired. Know thine enemy and know thyself. Find out why someone who is empathy impaired appeals to you so much. What lesson do you need to learn and how can you teach it to yourself rather than letting them teach you the hard way?
@@jeffreyhopkins7769 I live GW and thrift stores. Lol But people are buying a $2 suit and thinking if they bedazzle the f*Kc out of it, it will become diamonds. Take the kaleidoscope off your face and see the garment for what it was. Another stupid analogy attempt. Hahahaha
Watching this I had an epiphany When narcs were little someone broke them and controlled them So in adulthood you now feel you can be the big person and seeing someone hurt makes them feel they have power finally It's so sad Breaks my heart my ex, mum and many others suffer from this And everyone around them does too Life isn't about games Or having power Being safe It's about being vulnerable Open, raw, honest and fucking loving yourself and those around you I just can't even comprehend what living like this would be It makes sense why my ex couldn't stay with a loving and supportive partner and his kids who adored him It took me sometime to see this but in the end it's actually us walking off into the sunset Not them They set us free to truly love and be loved ❤️🫶
Enjoyed this short video. Update. The narcissist has completely moved out and her female friend has moved in. Her friend was hinting towards a lot of the narcissist's cheating and permisscuity, but I told her I don't want to talk about her anymore. The narc celebrated her birthday the weekend prior to the actual day, and she was bragging about how much drinking she had done, until she could drink no more. When her actual birth day popped up, I did not tell her a thing, but I did notice she was not happy about it. Oh well. I say all this bc, I know she won't hoover. She has plenty of male supply and despite her attempts to be loud at work, about who she's screwing, I ignore her and keep my earbuds in. She hates me way too much to hoover. But I am still working on a plan b, to get far away from her control.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I really appreciate your input, but I don't think I have to worry about her hoovering me at all. Like I said before, her new supply seems "rich" and she seems very happy with his abundant supply of money and gifts. If she gets irritated bc I show no concern about her, that's easily out weighed by his constant bankrolling for sex. Plus, she has other sources of male supply. I just need to stay under the radar and put plan b into action....... secretly.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I'm not ashamed to say, "I was wrong, you were right." It would seem that she is not too happy with me ignoring her. For someone that should be happy with moving and being with all forms of new supply, she is being very petty. Now that she moved out, I have to find a ride to work and back to the house. She was asked to tell me that a coworker was going to give me a ride, and she refused to do it. Stating that she has nothing to say to me. Plus, it seems like she was upset at the person who decided to give me a ride to the house. Smh. Lol. Oh well. She'll be alright.
I feel like for me if and when the Hoover comes it provides me with some level of confirmation that what I experienced was what it was. So there’s satisfaction that comes from that. But as far as going back to that person who is doing the hoovering goes, I agree with you that you never should go back.
With the second hoover you will see right away how fake it is. They can not pretend that good as in the beginning. You will be just desgusted, beleive me :) And you will think after listening to bulshit they are speaking - I can't believe that I fell for it. If you want to repel them right away - just start talking happily about yourself and your good life. You will never see them again ha ha ha!
@@FeloniusPunck Regular People Hoover all the time, it depends on the relationship you experienced; if it was toxic or not. Also, it’s not just the responsibility of the other person to work on themselves. You should be doing the same work while apart. Bc if you become stronger during the break up, you won’t accept garbage behavior ever again. U really won’t care that they left again. You care more about your own mental health now.
@@NMTDelightfulMusic What sucks is that I have Hoovered men that I truly thought I couldn’t live without. But it’s always for selfish reasons. I just didn’t know it at the time.
And now that you are self aware, do you still find toxic attractive? Or is it a bit boring because you know already all the steps, processes, how it works etc… I think I was addicted to toxic but now, after healing for so long I couldn’t be bothered 😅
You learn MORE secret shady behavior about others when you hang out with toxic people. After the failure of my first authentic relationship (on my side), I'm not attracted to any man. I find relationships silly. If I'm bored enough to talk to another man, it will only be out of needing a distraction. What people don't understand is when you become self aware, you also become aware how others are so unaware of themselves. They are still living in the fantasy of "everafter, soulmates, or their person". The more I teach about what to steer clear from, the more you will see how alone you really are. This is why you have to learn to be happy with yourselves. Because when the betrayal comes, you'll stop chasing the relationship that was only a dream. I can't dream anymore.
I completely relate to that. Once you learned the rules, you instantly know who is shady, who is not, where people are at with their egos, what are their motives, or how aware or completely unaware they are, cluster b or not. And you don’t loose time, you move on fast because it took you a second to figure them out. And the peace of loneliness feels good, you can build a happy place. I think a lot of people in a relationship are actually not that happy about the relationship, not matter what they portray to the outside world.
Narcissists fear rejection. So if she doesn't think you care about her anymore, don't count on a hoover. Remember, a lot of our behaviors are unseen by us as well. We can miss past people but we do not know how to fix what's broken inside of us if we don't know we're broken (and no, you can't save us). She doesn't have to come back to punish her. Acting like she doesn't exist (indifference) does that. But your dismissive comment makes me think that you may be toxic yourself and pissed bc someone FINALLY broke your heart.
Cluster B is right. You just live your best life ( working on it really). The word will come to her eventually - she will feel the loss. And she has to be in the right mind to hoover (lots of failure) so you start looking jummy again. Than a tinu little hint from your side - like ask her friend or give some kinda good point of your relationship that will get to her. She will think you miss her and will overcome her fear of rejection. That's how I baited unintentionally my ex. After 20 years he came with the full blown hoover. And he failed MISERABLY 😂. Yeah baby, there is your revenge. But first you have to forget about her totally, than you will be ready!
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I'm sure your still hot as ever during hot flashes. I would boundary up though during your hot flashes to keep you from using me as your emotional punching bag. Tell you, I don't talk to you like that and pour you another 🍻. Cheers gorgeous. When we going on a date? Or we can stay in and I cook and bartend.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEI'm sure your just as gorgeous during hot flashes. I would Boundary up though so you couldn't emotionally abuse me during hot flashes. 😂 tell you I don't talk to you like that you can't talk to me like. I make you do your hair and tell you your beautiful either way. We can go out or stay in. I'm a great cook and a great bartender for older women. Older is way hotter than younger.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEI'm sure your just as gorgeous during hot flashes. I would boundary up though and not let you emotionally abuse me when ur not feeling good during hot flashes. I wouldn't make you do your hair everyday. We can go out for dinner and drinks. Or we can stay in I cook, bartend, and we do some karaoke all night. You would have the time of your life. 😂
Preach! I know it's my own abandonment issues that make me question why I'm not good enough. Logically I know I would never take him back. There is just the unhealed part of me that wants him to want to come back so that I can feel validated. I know that this isn't healthy thinking. I know I need more trauma therapy but I'm a work in progress.
@@nadineo1983 I have been there. No shame. ❤️
This video was very good advice and it gave me strength. Thank you.❤
The beginning is everything! Absolutely!
I enjoyed telling her when she showed up at my place for the 5th time, "if I 'loved' you like you say you 'love' me, you'd be running away like your hair's on fire."
what is the reaction?
@@sebsebseb1905 that was the end of it.
@@scottwwsi good for you, my narcissist is still married, so dodged bullets like Neo 😂😂😂😂
🤣😎👏👏👏
Hey sara! I never comment but this message is 🥇 gold!!!!❤
I had no interest in the Hoover. Walked right out the door. I knew the other person wanted to hurt me as much as possible. F$ck that. Shout out to the chicken
I'm so happy he's not showing anymore.. He finally understood ( yeah right😆 the cycles are just way longer in between) that the only thing he would get is a narc injury, me being completely indifferent. He can ruin his reputation with others trying to ruin mine. Hehehe when you know what is going on behind the scene, you are just glad he's doing his usual self destruction work, me having nothing to do with it. Who gives a shit indeed.
Empathetic people we want to be hoovered for the supposed validation, but when you discover that they dont give a damn of you as a person you understand that the hoover is simply another huge lack of respect to check if you are still are dumb for they keep fooling you.
Thank you as usual. Beautiful woman. Great to hear your voice and wisdom info. Love and Respect to everyone from Russia ♥️
No thank you. What an exhausting existence to be a narc 🙃
Well said!
You trying to save us or your self 😂😂😂😂😂 I loved it either way x
Both.
Even an unaware narcissist needs to move on and stop beating a dead horse. If people keep letting us come back and nothing is getting better, we won't learn any lessons. We will always see you/others as the problem. Now if everyone had boundaries for themselves and left due to self respect, we would be forced to look inward and self reflect with some real work behind it.
Ps, you rock. Great life coach.
💗
Fantastic hair! 🥰😍
They try to dump their low self worth onto you. And they are empathy impaired. Know thine enemy and know thyself. Find out why someone who is empathy impaired appeals to you so much. What lesson do you need to learn and how can you teach it to yourself rather than letting them teach you the hard way?
All said within 4 minutes. Done. Your comparisons...just hit. Great job. And greetings to Mr Chicken 😉
You'd be surprised at what you'd find at goodwill! 😆
@@jeffreyhopkins7769 I live GW and thrift stores. Lol But people are buying a $2 suit and thinking if they bedazzle the f*Kc out of it, it will become diamonds. Take the kaleidoscope off your face and see the garment for what it was. Another stupid analogy attempt. Hahahaha
Watching this I had an epiphany
When narcs were little someone broke them and controlled them
So in adulthood you now feel you can be the big person and seeing someone hurt makes them feel they have power finally
It's so sad
Breaks my heart my ex, mum and many others suffer from this
And everyone around them does too
Life isn't about games
Or having power
Being safe
It's about being vulnerable
Open, raw, honest and fucking loving yourself and those around you
I just can't even comprehend what living like this would be
It makes sense why my ex couldn't stay with a loving and supportive partner and his kids who adored him
It took me sometime to see this but in the end it's actually us walking off into the sunset
Not them
They set us free to truly love and be loved ❤️🫶
Thank you, the empowerment worked ❤😊
People need to watch this. 100% true!
THANK YOU!!!
Sarah… THANK YOU!! You speak bare FACTS!!! 💯💯💯 they don’t care, never will, don’t be fooled by the games they play
@@nightmareappliance They care…what they can get from you; life support.
You have to stay down for the time being but don't worry....... you'll discover your confidence was all bravado.....
Can you even comprehend how much growth is in you saying you got your KARMA, as in payed for what you did, and not being always a victim? Awesome!
Awesome video.
No. You don’t. Why? Because we still fought with you in our head. Just because you aren’t physically there don’t mean shit 😂
Just Sarah, telling us like it is 👌👌🙏
This is the version they need to see Sarah, just honest to god truth ❤
Enjoyed this short video. Update. The narcissist has completely moved out and her female friend has moved in. Her friend was hinting towards a lot of the narcissist's cheating and permisscuity, but I told her I don't want to talk about her anymore. The narc celebrated her birthday the weekend prior to the actual day, and she was bragging about how much drinking she had done, until she could drink no more. When her actual birth day popped up, I did not tell her a thing, but I did notice she was not happy about it. Oh well. I say all this bc, I know she won't hoover. She has plenty of male supply and despite her attempts to be loud at work, about who she's screwing, I ignore her and keep my earbuds in. She hates me way too much to hoover. But I am still working on a plan b, to get far away from her control.
She could be getting all the supply in the world but she will irritated at the ONE person who isn't giving her anything.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I really appreciate your input, but I don't think I have to worry about her hoovering me at all. Like I said before, her new supply seems "rich" and she seems very happy with his abundant supply of money and gifts. If she gets irritated bc I show no concern about her, that's easily out weighed by his constant bankrolling for sex. Plus, she has other sources of male supply. I just need to stay under the radar and put plan b into action....... secretly.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I'm not ashamed to say, "I was wrong, you were right." It would seem that she is not too happy with me ignoring her. For someone that should be happy with moving and being with all forms of new supply, she is being very petty. Now that she moved out, I have to find a ride to work and back to the house. She was asked to tell me that a coworker was going to give me a ride, and she refused to do it. Stating that she has nothing to say to me. Plus, it seems like she was upset at the person who decided to give me a ride to the house. Smh. Lol. Oh well. She'll be alright.
You know I was just thinking, if all else fails you definitely have a future in sign language interpretation 🤣
@@surfshack2 Dude, I’m going to start Ghetto Tarot! Lol
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE If the mind can conceive , then the dream can be achieved
I feel like for me if and when the Hoover comes it provides me with some level of confirmation that what I experienced was what it was. So there’s satisfaction that comes from that. But as far as going back to that person who is doing the hoovering goes, I agree with you that you never should go back.
With the second hoover you will see right away how fake it is. They can not pretend that good as in the beginning. You will be just desgusted, beleive me :)
And you will think after listening to bulshit they are speaking - I can't believe that I fell for it.
If you want to repel them right away - just start talking happily about yourself and your good life. You will never see them again ha ha ha!
@@FeloniusPunck Regular People Hoover all the time, it depends on the relationship you experienced; if it was toxic or not.
Also, it’s not just the responsibility of the other person to work on themselves. You should be doing the same work while apart. Bc if you become stronger during the break up, you won’t accept garbage behavior ever again. U really won’t care that they left again. You care more about your own mental health now.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Truth.
@@NMTDelightfulMusic What sucks is that I have Hoovered men that I truly thought I couldn’t live without. But it’s always for selfish reasons. I just didn’t know it at the time.
JESUS loves you
Because the Bible tells me so.
And now that you are self aware, do you still find toxic attractive? Or is it a bit boring because you know already all the steps, processes, how it works etc…
I think I was addicted to toxic but now, after healing for so long I couldn’t be bothered 😅
You learn MORE secret shady behavior about others when you hang out with toxic people. After the failure of my first authentic relationship (on my side), I'm not attracted to any man. I find relationships silly. If I'm bored enough to talk to another man, it will only be out of needing a distraction.
What people don't understand is when you become self aware, you also become aware how others are so unaware of themselves. They are still living in the fantasy of "everafter, soulmates, or their person". The more I teach about what to steer clear from, the more you will see how alone you really are. This is why you have to learn to be happy with yourselves. Because when the betrayal comes, you'll stop chasing the relationship that was only a dream. I can't dream anymore.
I completely relate to that. Once you learned the rules, you instantly know who is shady, who is not, where people are at with their egos, what are their motives, or how aware or completely unaware they are, cluster b or not.
And you don’t loose time, you move on fast because it took you a second to figure them out.
And the peace of loneliness feels good, you can build a happy place.
I think a lot of people in a relationship are actually not that happy about the relationship, not matter what they portray to the outside world.
Nah i just want that hoover to get my revenge but i don’t think she will
Narcissists fear rejection. So if she doesn't think you care about her anymore, don't count on a hoover. Remember, a lot of our behaviors are unseen by us as well. We can miss past people but we do not know how to fix what's broken inside of us if we don't know we're broken (and no, you can't save us).
She doesn't have to come back to punish her. Acting like she doesn't exist (indifference) does that.
But your dismissive comment makes me think that you may be toxic yourself and pissed bc someone FINALLY broke your heart.
Cluster B is right. You just live your best life ( working on it really). The word will come to her eventually - she will feel the loss. And she has to be in the right mind to hoover (lots of failure) so you start looking jummy again.
Than a tinu little hint from your side - like ask her friend or give some kinda good point of your relationship that will get to her.
She will think you miss her and will overcome her fear of rejection.
That's how I baited unintentionally my ex. After 20 years he came with the full blown hoover.
And he failed MISERABLY 😂. Yeah baby, there is your revenge. But first you have to forget about her totally, than you will be ready!
This was great! When we going on a Date? i like older hot women.😂
You should see me when I get Hot Flashes! 😂
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I'm sure your still hot as ever during hot flashes. I would boundary up though during your hot flashes to keep you from using me as your emotional punching bag. Tell you, I don't talk to you like that and pour you another 🍻. Cheers gorgeous. When we going on a date? Or we can stay in and I cook and bartend.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEI'm sure your just as gorgeous during hot flashes. I would Boundary up though so you couldn't emotionally abuse me during hot flashes. 😂 tell you I don't talk to you like that you can't talk to me like. I make you do your hair and tell you your beautiful either way. We can go out or stay in. I'm a great cook and a great bartender for older women. Older is way hotter than younger.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEI'm sure your just as gorgeous during hot flashes. I would boundary up though and not let you emotionally abuse me when ur not feeling good during hot flashes. I wouldn't make you do your hair everyday. We can go out for dinner and drinks. Or we can stay in I cook, bartend, and we do some karaoke all night. You would have the time of your life. 😂
No