My friend challenged me to critique his books, as well. God, I really don't want to. I don't want to give him money, I don't want to lose my mind, I don't want to give him any more exposure than he's already gotten.
The way Onision writes his main characters/self inserts in his books is like he read Catcher in the Rye and thought to himself "Wow im just like Holden Caulfield"
The worst influence of Catcher in The Rye is thinking that Holden Caulfield is the good guy because he's the protagonist, but in actuality, he is meant to be a piece of shit.
Why does he over explain the simplest actions being done like "SHE LIFTED HER ARM IN A 90° ANGLE AND TURNED E V E R SO SLIGHTLY TO SMILE, AT ME, SHE IS LOOKING MY WAY IF YOU DID NOT KNOW" but when it comes to describe the way the character looks or the room that their in its "Abbi looks the same like she has for 4 years and my school looks broke"
Kylel0519 well generally authors have editors to help fix anything that they messed up on or need a proper touch up. It’s fine that you could edit your own things yourself without anyone else helping, that’s your personal preference. Onision clearly needed one, he edit everything himself for his books. If u watch other reviews of his books they point out all of the mistakes/improper structures of his sentences. His third book he keeps constantly changing the main leads name to his own.
Not only that, his self-inserts are increasingly more powerful and "badass" with every book, to the point it becomes absolutely comical. As in, in the second book, his self insert is the bestest, most grizzled mofo soldier ever, who is so awesome his lesbian girlfriend not only makes him an exception for her sexuality, she is even completely okay with him having another girlfriend, because he is just that big of an alpha male, and his superiors completely overlook his psychopathic behavior, because he is just that awesome. Then, in the third book his self insert, who is a completely normal boy, not only scores with a hot 16 year old when he is still 11, he also wipes out an alien spaceship at the age of twelve by using superpowers, and then a few years later he kills the anthropomorphic embodiment of death and the thinly veiled expy of the Abrahamic god himself without breaking a sweat, and then he remakes the world in his own image.
I think he did. There's another channel that did a full reading of the book, and I'm pretty sure that one character told the other to "have a seat," or something very similar. 🤦
You know what actually blows the most?? Jason as a character could have been such a interesting character, a bully who is known to beat up kids for no reason but still saves the day, would be still be a bully? Would he let fame go to his head?? Would he turn his whole life around after seeing the aftermath?? But no fuck us right lmao
Wow this middle aged man with multiple past lovers and kids writes romance worse than me! And I'm a 16 year old who writes fanfiction with no romantic experience!
Persona music? When? I hear Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorer of Time/Darkness/Sky musics mostly. Not complaining tho'. Also: Hilarious PFP! Got me laughing! Kono BalDIO da!
This man makes fanfiction seem like fine literature. Of course this is Onion Boy we're talking about so the concept of having a second-hand editor is beyond him, I'd assume.
I read fanfictions every day and even the most horrible one has better writing than literally anything Onision has and will ever write in his shitty life.
you are, in fact, correct. someone offered toedit his book FOR FREE, because the editor wanted to help, and he obviously refused, because he refuses to admit even the possibilty that he could have made a tiny mistake, that even seasoned writers do comit. so yeah, dude is a prick.
@@absolutew33b Sorry, but that's just a big no. I mean, yeah, this book is terribad, and the other books are significantly worse (I mean, he prefaces the third book by saying it's mostly auto-biographic, and then in the second half his self-insert gets superpowers and kills death and the Judeo-Christian god), saying that the worst fanfics are still better is just untrue. Don't take me wrong, fanfics get an undeservedly bad reputation, and some of them are extremely high quality, but on the flipside, the worst of them is legendarily bad. At least these books are *comprehensible*, as opposed to, say, My Immortal.
"Borderline psychotic" He's not psychotic and we (real psychotic/schizoaffective people) don't want to be associated with him, we are normal people, thank you.
@@fanendey Well, you're half right. Psychopathy is a medical term, but it's not a diagnosis. Antisocial Personality Disorder is the diagnosis, but it is sub-headed as "psychopathy". Psychosis is commonly confused with it tho, but psychosis is extremely different (as from your first comment you probably know).
Imma put this video on pause for my viewing pleasure. Got an entire of merlot to me to chug and me and the friends are gonna make a drinking game out of this review. We ARE social distancing so we will be getting drunk from 12 different states across the country. A good video and an even better laugh for all of us tonight. Thanks for the great vid mate
“I was asleep until I met her, when I finally woke I learned the meaning of perfect imperfection.” Sounds like something a sad emo teen girl would post on Facebook in 2007.
@Caatko That could count as-well, since it’s a fairly similar time period and MySpace was *the* biggest social media site on the Internet before Facebook took away its thunder by the tail-end of the 2000’s.
I can't get enough of people reviewing his books. It's like a bunch of psychiatrists sitting around a table explaining the scrawls of a madman. Very young-adult 'Criminal Minds'. Top tier entertainment.
@@NobleLucy on behalf of the internet, i'm sorry you had to read this, and if you read the other two, i'm sorry in advance. Whatever you have been told, it's worse. In Reaper's Creek, Krimson Rogue found over 316 typos. Not sure if that includes grammar mistakes, but let that number sink in. About double the number of pages in typos
This is apparently a true story. The way Greg writes and stuff is how he actually thinks. If you criticize his writing he will tell you that your an idiot and “obviously didn’t read the book.” If you thought this one was bad read the others. 😂
I find it hilarious he’s confirmed it and tried to make it “mysterious,” encouraging people to decide which parts were true and which weren’t. Greg I don’t think you killed God, assuming God does exist. 🤷♀️
This was his way of trying to say you can't criticise his work, because 'you can't say it's a bad story because it's true, the characters can't be badly written, because real". He just doesn't understand that there is an art and craft to writing. He's in his thirties and doesn't even understand how to use commas...so...obviously he can not construct a narrative.
Dinky Actually he’s used that exact argument against Strange Aeon’s videos on his books. That he “based his characters off of people in real life, therefor they can’t be badly written characters.”
"I see beautiful Girl. Beautiful Girl makes me feel funny. Me likes it." Honestly, the Story would probably be more enjoyable if it's Protagonist was some kind of Caveman that somehow traveled through Time and got mistaken for a Student.
Ay, so you mentioned in the description that English isnt your first or even second language. You're still better at speaking english then a native english speaker is at typing it. Major props to ya, you gained a new sub who hit that bell
“I could not conceive a scenario in which they could justify their primitive & pointless mentalities yet they would always continue to perpetuate their self-destructive attitudes as if it offered the slightest legitimate benefit.” - Onision Projecting 101
This has boosted my confidence as a writer. Now I'm sure what I write is decent. Hell, I know it will never be this level of hot garbage and I feel so happy. Thank you. You earned a subscriber.
I love how he has the president come and say how he "almost saved the day" despite him having done no such thing. Hell he could have made things worse considering he was an unarmed kid literally just walking into a school that is at the time being knowingly shot up, for no real reason at that. He could have been another body there and had done literally nothing to stop it either. His actions there would not be rewarded or praised, most likely he would be reprimanded or punished for doing something so stupid.
Honestly this book could have been a whole lot more interesting if it started out as an average high school love story, painting James here as a likeable (or at least bland) protagonist. Then, as the story went on, his true colours were slowly revealed, and the audience realized they have been rooting for a godamn psychopath the whole book. However, that concept would take a good writer to pull off, and Grog can't write anything better than a self insert fanfiction to save his life.
I found this book, to my surprise, at a second hand shop in my town. I live in a country that predominantly speaks and reads german and does not yet acknowledge "RUclipsrs" as anything more than teenagers with cameras, so, finding a book in english, written by a youtuber, was a one time chance. I grabbed it. It is now one of my favourite pieces of evidence as to why "writing a book" is absolutely not an easy task and is a skill to be learned. I also kept it since it is amazingly funny. Love it. And i got it for like 0,50c so i guess i even got a little worth out of it, since it´s around 250 sheets of paper.
Me pausing at 15:26 to comment that SPEEDWAGON IS BEST WAIFU, saving/suporting the Joestar family WELL beyond his death 😂 Praise our Lord Speedwagon 🙏✨💖
@@dylantrobaugh2580 I still have not steeled myself enough for part 4 of Krimson Rogue's review of that disasterpiece. It's so bad I can't even listen to someone else talk about it for more than twenty minutes at a time. At least Onision is entertaining, even if it is in a 'can't look away from the trainwreck' kind of way.
Huh! I loved Krimson's reviews of the Onion Trilogy. I saw he also read something called "Empress Theresea" in my reccomended/related vids section, but honestly, the cover of the book (that I saw in the thumbnail, anyway) was so... mundane. Harmless looking. No WAY it could be worse, I thought. Onion's incoherent, psychotic wet-dreams- committed-to-paper monstrosities must surely be the ultimate low. The pinnacle of the inverted pyramid of bad literature, the tip-top point, the sole location of termination for a monument of horrendousness. ... but I mean, hell, if you guys think this Theresea series is worse, then I'm in.
I still hold that this book would be a masterpiece if the final chapter was from a classmates perspective and detailed how everything James said happened was all lies and a power fantasy in his head
Let's be real, there's no way that Onision would write anything like that, because he wouldn't want to write anything bad about his beloved Gary Stu character. To be fair, it would be a great alternate universe.
This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve heard someone break down this “book” and I’m still not tired of it! It’s just so bad and I love how people always seem to find unique things to criticize.
He's out of touch with reality. That's makes this kind of writing difficult because you're literally meant to build an alternate version of reality. Works better if you can get dimension, but for that you gotta be in touch with your own reality. I wrote something comparable to this when I was about 13. I've come a long way :) EDIT: Its worth noting that the main character when I was 13 was MEANT to be a psycho who stalked his high school crush who he likened to sleeping beauty. The problem was that he wasn't psycho enough to be a psycho. I feel like I should rewrite it to just... prove I can
I pirated a copy of this, to avoid putting any money in Grug's pocket, regardless of how little he may receive. I also used an "audio" version someone uploaded to RUclips because I wasn't invested enough to do the reading myself. And it still landed in my, relatively small, DNF pile alongside the likes of 50 Shades of Grey (which I only started because the Kindle edition was free at the time) and The Host. Which is saying something since I rarely fail to finish reading something.
Keep up the great videos, Noble! I love the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon music in the background. You know, I enjoy listening to your voice! I had wondered who on EARTH would complain about it, it's actually pretty soothing to me! But I am sorry you went through this, this book is CRINGE INCARNATE. (The skating part reminded me of Lan in Megaman Battle Network-- he has skates on his shoes. Just goes to show that it was cool back in the early 2000s, but not so much now. Maybe Lan just makes it work. XD)
I love how the president called James "The boy who nearly saved the day" but never gave Jason, the boy who actually saved the day, got no recognition. It is as if James was getting credit for other people's efforts like the OC narcissistic Gary Stu he is.
For me personally, I hate the lack of paragraphs breaks, especially during dialogue. It just clumps everything together and makes it more difficult to read.
an adult man writes a book with him self as a main character insert and it takes place in high school or some shit. yeah, that seems about the quality I would expect from him.
What sucks about 6:38 is that it’s *ALMOST* good. The wording is so ... different ? But the context and the fact that Onion is trying to be all “deep” is what makes it not work. Maybe a bit of rephrasing and a whole new story writer by a whole new person and it might work.
that was like the first merch that dropped years ago and nobody really... cared? it's interesting that it took internet such a long time to critize this thing. Sure there were people that cared back then but now it's like everyone is freaking out now. Wonder why. Like, did the people grow up to realize that it's bad, is it new people coming in, did society change that much in that time?
It's honestly a crime how you don't have more subscribers, this video was great! Your humour and editing are really good, easily on par with other much larger channels. Keep it up!
Any teenager that thinks the way Greg wrote his oc is going through a “I’m not like other kids” phase to get the approval of adults and is probably very lonely and will grow up depressed and crave those lost experiences from when they were acting like an asshole Speaking from slight experience😬
Tommy Wiseau could write a more articulate, coherent novel. This makes Atlanta Nights read like F Scott Fitzgerald. Moon People by Dale M Courtney looks like The Grapes of Wrath in comparison. I would nominate Mein Kampf for a Pulitzer before this travesty. It makes the combined works of Stephanie Meyer and EL James seem deep and intellectual.
Whenever I feel bad about my writing not being flawless and wonder if I should bother continuing an idea, I think of books like these that are fully published for public consumption and that keeps me going.
Happy April fool's day. Here's a joke of a book
My friend challenged me to critique his books, as well. God, I really don't want to. I don't want to give him money, I don't want to lose my mind, I don't want to give him any more exposure than he's already gotten.
I'm going to hang myself. That's the joke
I'm gonna see how bad this is myself. I mean, I could get and finish Catcher in the Rye, but I'm too curious.
@@Hyperb2002 Dr Dennis Business read the entire thing if you all would rather watch those 🖤
tabitha stabitha - Thanks, but I wanna see it all for myself.
Wait til you get to the book where he and his body double fight aliens and god.
Please tell me you’re joking.
P-please say sike haha...
@@NobleLucy seriously, recover from this one before you touch Reaper's Creek. It's.... incredible. He punches God.
@@NobleLucy they aren't joking, his books just get weirder and weirder
Not only does he have a body double, but their interactions turn to a weird homoerotic bella/edward type creepy.
yeah homie hasn't read a single book since high school yet he thought he could pull writing one just fine
one has to laugh
He actually bragged about the fact that he didnt read a book for 14 years before writing this garbage.
The way Onision writes his main characters/self inserts in his books is like he read Catcher in the Rye and thought to himself "Wow im just like Holden Caulfield"
When you cannot even make your self-inserts sounds appealing, it’s time to think about your choices.
The worst influence of Catcher in The Rye is thinking that Holden Caulfield is the good guy because he's the protagonist, but in actuality, he is meant to be a piece of shit.
I recently finished catcher in the rye and much like onion boy, Holden caulfied is the human embodiment of hot garbage.
at least Holden got some mental health help at the end... onision never will
dangerousatanyspeed at least Holden had a hint of self awareness
Why does he over explain the simplest actions being done like "SHE LIFTED HER ARM IN A 90° ANGLE AND TURNED E V E R SO SLIGHTLY TO SMILE, AT ME, SHE IS LOOKING MY WAY IF YOU DID NOT KNOW" but when it comes to describe the way the character looks or the room that their in its "Abbi looks the same like she has for 4 years and my school looks broke"
Liliana F LMAO
10/10 writing, no editor needed
Nyantsume wdym I’m my own editor, and I can NEVER make any mistakes
Kylel0519 well generally authors have editors to help fix anything that they messed up on or need a proper touch up.
It’s fine that you could edit your own things yourself without anyone else helping, that’s your personal preference. Onision clearly needed one, he edit everything himself for his books. If u watch other reviews of his books they point out all of the mistakes/improper structures of his sentences. His third book he keeps constantly changing the main leads name to his own.
Nyantsume I was making a joke about what onision would say
The sign of a truly terrible writer, when your self-inserts are both obvious and still as unappealing as rotten fish.
Not only that, his self-inserts are increasingly more powerful and "badass" with every book, to the point it becomes absolutely comical.
As in, in the second book, his self insert is the bestest, most grizzled mofo soldier ever, who is so awesome his lesbian girlfriend not only makes him an exception for her sexuality, she is even completely okay with him having another girlfriend, because he is just that big of an alpha male, and his superiors completely overlook his psychopathic behavior, because he is just that awesome.
Then, in the third book his self insert, who is a completely normal boy, not only scores with a hot 16 year old when he is still 11, he also wipes out an alien spaceship at the age of twelve by using superpowers, and then a few years later he kills the anthropomorphic embodiment of death and the thinly veiled expy of the Abrahamic god himself without breaking a sweat, and then he remakes the world in his own image.
@Gábor Horváth
I’d only use these books for kindling, and that if they were free.
@@annabella1650 Fahrenheit 451 but just Onision books
The sign of a terrible person is a character based off of them is vile garbage.
Imagine if Mr. Hanson told him to take a seat, that would have been a 10/10 book.
I'd give the book a 10/10 right there
I think he did. There's another channel that did a full reading of the book, and I'm pretty sure that one character told the other to "have a seat," or something very similar. 🤦
Onion boy has never, and will never, be that self aware
ha ha! yes!
You know what actually blows the most?? Jason as a character could have been such a interesting character, a bully who is known to beat up kids for no reason but still saves the day, would be still be a bully? Would he let fame go to his head?? Would he turn his whole life around after seeing the aftermath?? But no fuck us right lmao
*grabs Jason* my character now
@@dhampir_days Have you used Jason for anything.
The way the name “Abbigale” is spelled pisses me off for some reason.
There was a lot of misspelling in the script because of that name. Fuck Onision
Abbbbbbbbbigale
Stones to Æbbīgåîÿłę
abbhygaeiyle
@Sonny Crockett I think that they changed it, but it was at some point.
Wow this middle aged man with multiple past lovers and kids writes romance worse than me! And I'm a 16 year old who writes fanfiction with no romantic experience!
an asexual aromantic space rock could write better romance than greg.
@@timothyaster4337 So....Peridot?😊😉
@@johannesseyfried7933 How dare you.
you can only win with that comparison
Reading Onison’s book so we don’t have to.
A small price to pay for salvation
If I could, I would buy you a dozen drinks for the sacrifices you have made for us.
onion bashing? jojo references? persona music? best vid on the internet
Only the best weeb on here
An actual man of culture 😌
Agreed.
Persona music? When? I hear Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorer of Time/Darkness/Sky musics mostly. Not complaining tho'.
Also: Hilarious PFP! Got me laughing! Kono BalDIO da!
This man makes fanfiction seem like fine literature. Of course this is Onion Boy we're talking about so the concept of having a second-hand editor is beyond him, I'd assume.
Bruh, this is just self-insert fanfiction
I read fanfictions every day and even the most horrible one has better writing than literally anything Onision has and will ever write in his shitty life.
you are, in fact, correct.
someone offered toedit his book FOR FREE, because the editor wanted to help, and he obviously refused, because he refuses to admit even the possibilty that he could have made a tiny mistake, that even seasoned writers do comit.
so yeah, dude is a prick.
bro his husband edited this no wonder it’s shit
@@absolutew33b Sorry, but that's just a big no. I mean, yeah, this book is terribad, and the other books are significantly worse (I mean, he prefaces the third book by saying it's mostly auto-biographic, and then in the second half his self-insert gets superpowers and kills death and the Judeo-Christian god), saying that the worst fanfics are still better is just untrue.
Don't take me wrong, fanfics get an undeservedly bad reputation, and some of them are extremely high quality, but on the flipside, the worst of them is legendarily bad. At least these books are *comprehensible*, as opposed to, say, My Immortal.
The others are worse. Especially the third one: Reaper's Creek.
Oh dear god...
reapers creek is a hate crime towards trees. its one of the worst books i have ever heard...
@@gabe8981 I know 😩 The trees that had died to have that garbage printed hadn't done anything wrong.
we should coin the “im not like other people” phrase to greg. hes earned it.
To be fair he isnt.
Normal people are a lot better than him.
@@xrentabrainx yea his phrase is more like "I'm not like other pedophiles"
in the worst of ways
The April Fools here is that Stones To Abbigale is considered a book, or any media of art for that matter
hooooh boy, hearing about this travesty of a book never gets old.
"Borderline psychotic"
He's not psychotic and we (real psychotic/schizoaffective people) don't want to be associated with him, we are normal people, thank you.
@thunder key people can't get diagnosed with "psychopathy" because it's not a medical term... he most likely has a personality disorder.
@@fanendey Well, you're half right. Psychopathy is a medical term, but it's not a diagnosis. Antisocial Personality Disorder is the diagnosis, but it is sub-headed as "psychopathy". Psychosis is commonly confused with it tho, but psychosis is extremely different (as from your first comment you probably know).
@@fanendey OMG TY TY TY I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING SAID HERE. THANK YOU SM -a psychotic schizophrenic ♡
yeah, big differenze, one should not use diagnosis as insults and psychotic does not mean what people using it like that think
Imma put this video on pause for my viewing pleasure. Got an entire of merlot to me to chug and me and the friends are gonna make a drinking game out of this review. We ARE social distancing so we will be getting drunk from 12 different states across the country. A good video and an even better laugh for all of us tonight. Thanks for the great vid mate
That's the greatest thing I've heard and it, frankly, has made my entire day. How did it go?
Can we turn "I see beautiful girl" into a meme? Guys? Can we?
“I was asleep until I met her, when I finally woke I learned the meaning of perfect imperfection.”
Sounds like something a sad emo teen girl would post on Facebook in 2007.
You mean "MySpace in 2005"? 😂
@Caatko
That could count as-well, since it’s a fairly similar time period and MySpace was *the* biggest social media site on the Internet before Facebook took away its thunder by the tail-end of the 2000’s.
@@callumsparrow4379 yeah, I remember. I was one of those edgy 13 year old emo girls back 14 years ago 😂
Haha April Fools we're not reading a fun book we're reading an Onision book!!
The books a joke, so happy April fool's day haha
@@NobleLucy Nice!! It's like early Christmas!!
onision is a new genre now
@@gordonwood1458 a genre Chris Hansen is Really Interested in.
rat bag the only genre he can read without falling asleep due to all the bullshit!
I can't get enough of people reviewing his books. It's like a bunch of psychiatrists sitting around a table explaining the scrawls of a madman. Very young-adult 'Criminal Minds'. Top tier entertainment.
Not all heroes wear capes.
(Seriously though, it must've been a pain to read the book.)
It was honestly like reading a story written by a edgy 12 year old who read one book that's more than 50 pages
XD So fricking true.
Noble I envy you, I don’t think I’d be able to make it through all you read. XD
It's a small price to pay for salvation
ruclips.net/video/VM-7xoPT0cY/видео.html
You really ought to read the other two, they get worse. Somehow they got worse
I can believe that
I agree, I would love to see him read the others
Why do y'all want him to murder his poor braincells?! XD
Yes please
There's... no paragraph or dialogue separations? He's making a mockery of novel-writing and I'm offended.
I'll always like that we get to poke fun at onion boy
but I think people should stop buying his books
I will walk through the flames of the internet and back just to find a free version of his book. Ain't know way imma buy his shit book
@@NobleLucy on behalf of the internet, i'm sorry you had to read this, and if you read the other two, i'm sorry in advance. Whatever you have been told, it's worse. In Reaper's Creek, Krimson Rogue found over 316 typos. Not sure if that includes grammar mistakes, but let that number sink in. About double the number of pages in typos
You, sir, are right up there with Strange Aeons and Crimson Rogue for reviewing this shit so we don't have to. Medals have been given for less.
I'll be reviewing them all, god help me
Kappa Kaiju read those things too.
This is apparently a true story. The way Greg writes and stuff is how he actually thinks. If you criticize his writing he will tell you that your an idiot and “obviously didn’t read the book.” If you thought this one was bad read the others. 😂
No fucking way that makes it even worse
I find it hilarious he’s confirmed it and tried to make it “mysterious,” encouraging people to decide which parts were true and which weren’t.
Greg I don’t think you killed God, assuming God does exist. 🤷♀️
This was his way of trying to say you can't criticise his work, because 'you can't say it's a bad story because it's true, the characters can't be badly written, because real". He just doesn't understand that there is an art and craft to writing. He's in his thirties and doesn't even understand how to use commas...so...obviously he can not construct a narrative.
Dinky Actually he’s used that exact argument against Strange Aeon’s videos on his books. That he “based his characters off of people in real life, therefor they can’t be badly written characters.”
His autobiography was incredibly enlightening. Funniest part about this is that the girl Abbi is based on wanted NOTHING to do with him.
"I see beautiful Girl. Beautiful Girl makes me feel funny. Me likes it."
Honestly, the Story would probably be more enjoyable if it's Protagonist was some kind of Caveman that somehow traveled through Time and got mistaken for a Student.
So a shit version of Incenio Man
@@IzayaLee1725 Encino* Man
Ay, so you mentioned in the description that English isnt your first or even second language.
You're still better at speaking english then a native english speaker is at typing it.
Major props to ya, you gained a new sub who hit that bell
*inhales* Ah, the sweet smell of Boo Boo the Foolsion
I have few regrets, but one of them is that I used to be subscribed to onision
So long as you’re not subscribed now, it’s okay, I’m sure with hard work you’ll be able to forgive yourself. Don’t worry.
“I could not conceive a scenario in which they could justify their primitive & pointless mentalities yet they would always continue to perpetuate their self-destructive attitudes as if it offered the slightest legitimate benefit.”
- Onision Projecting 101
In some of these cases it's like he's trying to analyze hidden meanings FOR the reader. That's not how it's supposed to work.
I just screamed because my name, Abbi, was in the book! I will now commit toaster bath as to not be associated with this monstrosity of a book.
This has boosted my confidence as a writer. Now I'm sure what I write is decent. Hell, I know it will never be this level of hot garbage and I feel so happy. Thank you. You earned a subscriber.
I wrote a shitty wattpad book when I was 13 and it's eerily familiar in some of this characterization. What a joke.
19:19 OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR CALLING GREG’S SELF INSERT A FRUIT CUP. i walked into the kitchen and completely forgot what i was there for
i am now eating a fruit cup
I love how he has the president come and say how he "almost saved the day" despite him having done no such thing. Hell he could have made things worse considering he was an unarmed kid literally just walking into a school that is at the time being knowingly shot up, for no real reason at that. He could have been another body there and had done literally nothing to stop it either. His actions there would not be rewarded or praised, most likely he would be reprimanded or punished for doing something so stupid.
*just skating into a school
Loved this review, Onision is such a creep. Also noticed the Persona 5 music in the background, you've got good taste man!
Thank man, looking cool fox!
You have good taste. In reviews, games, and best Bois. Art boi best boi.
Honestly this book could have been a whole lot more interesting if it started out as an average high school love story, painting James here as a likeable (or at least bland) protagonist. Then, as the story went on, his true colours were slowly revealed, and the audience realized they have been rooting for a godamn psychopath the whole book. However, that concept would take a good writer to pull off, and Grog can't write anything better than a self insert fanfiction to save his life.
the worst part about this book is that I’ve seen so many reviews that I know the plot by heart
I’ve literally found Wattpad stories better written than this (back when Wattpad was a pretty good app).
Your computer seems to have rejected his “book”
At least we all get to suffer through his badly made 'books' together during quarantine.
A small price to pay for salvation
I found this book, to my surprise, at a second hand shop in my town. I live in a country that predominantly speaks and reads german and does not yet acknowledge "RUclipsrs" as anything more than teenagers with cameras, so, finding a book in english, written by a youtuber, was a one time chance. I grabbed it. It is now one of my favourite pieces of evidence as to why "writing a book" is absolutely not an easy task and is a skill to be learned. I also kept it since it is amazingly funny. Love it. And i got it for like 0,50c so i guess i even got a little worth out of it, since it´s around 250 sheets of paper.
HAHA OML THAT'S AMAZING
Me pausing at 15:26 to comment that SPEEDWAGON IS BEST WAIFU, saving/suporting the Joestar family WELL beyond his death 😂 Praise our Lord Speedwagon 🙏✨💖
Speedwagon best waifu 😤😤
SpeeeeedWagoń
*Speedwagon is disappointed in the salty onion's literature*
"MR. HANSON" THAT AGED SO WELL
The fact that he named his daughter abbigail after this book... Yikes
A big oof moment
Wait, no way!!!
Not like he's fit to raise her anyway..
@@mushmush4980 didn't she, like, fall out of his goddamn window or something?
@@greatdanelegend7001 oh it gets w o r s e than that buddy
I can’t watch this, the book is so awful. It’s so poorly written. The video is great but holy crap the book is bad
I feel ya (still watch the video please I need the views dear god)
Noble I did, excellent video man
@@NobleLucy Well, you just popped up in my recommended, so you're doing something right. :D
Thank you man! Means a lot!
@@NobleLucy At least you weren't reading _Empress Theresa_ because your brain would have wound up in ICU (just ask KrimsonRogue).
agh I've seen so many of reviews of these books already.
And I. need. moar!
"I don't know how you get a zombie bear from a regular stuffed bear!?"
..... Sir, it's called imagination.
Onision: This is a shitty book
Noble: Dear god...
Onision: There's more
Noble: No...
I never noticed the "I see beautiful girl" typo before. My brain keeps auto-correcting his mistakes because there's just _so dang many!_
This is only one part of the shittest trilogy in the history of the written word. You are in for a _ride,_ my friend.
The Therran Native he needs to read Empress Theresa. Its the only other book thats as bad as onisions triolgy
@@dylantrobaugh2580 I still have not steeled myself enough for part 4 of Krimson Rogue's review of that disasterpiece. It's so bad I can't even listen to someone else talk about it for more than twenty minutes at a time. At least Onision is entertaining, even if it is in a 'can't look away from the trainwreck' kind of way.
@@thetherrannative I finished part 5 last night. Trust me, at part 4 the book gets fucking bizarre
Huh! I loved Krimson's reviews of the Onion Trilogy. I saw he also read something called "Empress Theresea" in my reccomended/related vids section, but honestly, the cover of the book (that I saw in the thumbnail, anyway) was so... mundane. Harmless looking. No WAY it could be worse, I thought. Onion's incoherent, psychotic wet-dreams- committed-to-paper monstrosities must surely be the ultimate low. The pinnacle of the inverted pyramid of bad literature, the tip-top point, the sole location of termination for a monument of horrendousness.
... but I mean, hell, if you guys think this Theresea series is worse, then I'm in.
WhistleAndSnap krimson spent a total of 5 parts on the onion trloigy
Empress Theresa is one book split in 5 parts
I still hold that this book would be a masterpiece if the final chapter was from a classmates perspective and detailed how everything James said happened was all lies and a power fantasy in his head
Let's be real, there's no way that Onision would write anything like that, because he wouldn't want to write anything bad about his beloved Gary Stu character.
To be fair, it would be a great alternate universe.
Greg is such an overgrown emo cringelord.
This really could've been named: into the eyes of a serial killer
or into the eyes of a psychopath.
And all this time I've been practicing my writing when apparently there are books like this being sold
This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve heard someone break down this “book” and I’m still not tired of it! It’s just so bad and I love how people always seem to find unique things to criticize.
Aight, I'm about to SMASH that like button
SMASSHHHH THAT LIKE AND HIT THAT SUBSCRIBE
He's out of touch with reality. That's makes this kind of writing difficult because you're literally meant to build an alternate version of reality. Works better if you can get dimension, but for that you gotta be in touch with your own reality.
I wrote something comparable to this when I was about 13. I've come a long way :)
EDIT: Its worth noting that the main character when I was 13 was MEANT to be a psycho who stalked his high school crush who he likened to sleeping beauty. The problem was that he wasn't psycho enough to be a psycho. I feel like I should rewrite it to just... prove I can
"Alex, despite being borderline mental, was one of my least favorite people to study."
yandere dev be like
Nah, he meant "Icy beautiful girl". His self-insert adores Elsa from Frozen
I pirated a copy of this, to avoid putting any money in Grug's pocket, regardless of how little he may receive. I also used an "audio" version someone uploaded to RUclips because I wasn't invested enough to do the reading myself. And it still landed in my, relatively small, DNF pile alongside the likes of 50 Shades of Grey (which I only started because the Kindle edition was free at the time) and The Host.
Which is saying something since I rarely fail to finish reading something.
42:05 “excuse me, could you like, please stop moaning, I’m trying to figure out precalc and It’s hard with the smacking sounds you’re making.”
I actually thought the book was about the song "Abigail" by Motionless in White lol.
HNBHH we listened to this while studying the Crucible
When the sad naruto music started I genuinely had to take a minute to recover, I was losing my shit
Keep up the great videos, Noble! I love the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon music in the background. You know, I enjoy listening to your voice! I had wondered who on EARTH would complain about it, it's actually pretty soothing to me!
But I am sorry you went through this, this book is CRINGE INCARNATE.
(The skating part reminded me of Lan in Megaman Battle Network-- he has skates on his shoes. Just goes to show that it was cool back in the early 2000s, but not so much now. Maybe Lan just makes it work. XD)
Haha, thank you friend! Means a lot!
Anytime!
(And thanks for taking the time to reply to li'l ol' me.)
I love how the president called James "The boy who nearly saved the day" but never gave Jason, the boy who actually saved the day, got no recognition.
It is as if James was getting credit for other people's efforts like the OC narcissistic Gary Stu he is.
It's because Onision writes unrealistic power fantasies, I guess.
For me personally, I hate the lack of paragraphs breaks, especially during dialogue. It just clumps everything together and makes it more difficult to read.
I swear I can watch ur videos all day and still not get bored
Aww, that's so kind!
an adult man writes a book with him self as a main character insert and it takes place in high school or some shit.
yeah, that seems about the quality I would expect from him.
''pee jar''didn't know tf2 sniper attended greg's imaginary class.....
What a trooper, as an aspiring writer this book brings me immense pain. I can only imagine what it must be like to suffer through.
It's like reading a book that a 7 year old wrote in two days
13:09 am a teenager, can confirm nobody acts like that
This whole book is just "shut up, Grog," made into print
The lack of paragraph breaks for dialogue reminds me of when I first started writing. When I was twelve and didn't know any better. 🙃
What sucks about 6:38 is that it’s *ALMOST* good. The wording is so ... different ? But the context and the fact that Onion is trying to be all “deep” is what makes it not work. Maybe a bit of rephrasing and a whole new story writer by a whole new person and it might work.
*it was written in the prophecy*
Caveman grug: I SEE BEAUTIFUL GIRL! AGH MY PENGY!!
Onision is the real reason Thanos wanted to wipe half of the universe because he was on that half
33:24 I’m using this video as background noise to play animal crossing and I stopped and thought “he has to be making that up”
What the actual fuck
I wish I was
Omg yeess noble ! Love the video ! Also did you know yandere dev has released an anime body pillow of a 16 year old ....
anyways love the video 💕
I did know that yeah. Thanks so much, friend!
that was like the first merch that dropped years ago and nobody really... cared? it's interesting that it took internet such a long time to critize this thing. Sure there were people that cared back then but now it's like everyone is freaking out now. Wonder why. Like, did the people grow up to realize that it's bad, is it new people coming in, did society change that much in that time?
The reason why James sounds like a sociopath is because Onision IS a sociopath. And nope, it wasn't intentional, that's just how he thinks
It's honestly a crime how you don't have more subscribers, this video was great! Your humour and editing are really good, easily on par with other much larger channels. Keep it up!
Thank you, my man! Means a lot!
Top tier jojo memes my guy. Also please dont torture yourself like this. Onion boys books are a sin against humanity itself.
Any teenager that thinks the way Greg wrote his oc is going through a “I’m not like other kids” phase to get the approval of adults and is probably very lonely and will grow up depressed and crave those lost experiences from when they were acting like an asshole
Speaking from slight experience😬
The one dislike is from onision
Probably lol, Greg's ego would make him run across the internet to see if anyone is talking about him
C'mon, Space Jam wasn't that bad
Micheal Jordan stretches his arms.
'Nuff said
Micheal Jordan got turned into a ball and got slam dunked
@@Zcccide exactly, that's iconic
The way Speedwagon's image appeared over the "coming soon" part of the Creed poster was somehow comedic gold to me and i dont know why
Its even funnier in a later book when he tries to write himself as a 12 year old... funny until it gets really weird that is.
*11
@@greatdanelegend7001 it's worst than I remember
@@KuroKitsune101 yeah. And the first time he mentions that character's name, he misspells it as "Greg"
Tommy Wiseau could write a more articulate, coherent novel. This makes Atlanta Nights read like F Scott Fitzgerald. Moon People by Dale M Courtney looks like The Grapes of Wrath in comparison. I would nominate Mein Kampf for a Pulitzer before this travesty. It makes the combined works of Stephanie Meyer and EL James seem deep and intellectual.
Whenever I feel bad about my writing not being flawless and wonder if I should bother continuing an idea, I think of books like these that are fully published for public consumption and that keeps me going.
ONION PEELERS
ONION PEELERS
ONION PEELERS
GODS GIFT TO THE WORLD
I’m so glad that the algorithm gifted this to me. Thanks for suffering on screen for my entertainment
noble lucy: why do i make myself suffer for reading this
us: *for our entertainment*
I can vibe with this
This is the most entertaining review of his book I've watched so far. I'd love to see you review his two other books.
"I have a tie.. i guess"
You're more put-together than Grog's entire series of shitposts (or "books" as he calls them)