Jared's Immigration Plan Is A 'Complete Whiff'
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- Опубликовано: 15 май 2019
- Jared Kushner's solution for immigration is being described as a 'conversation-starter' and a 'complete whiff.' #LSSC #Colbert #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. 
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So, when is Jared's "security clearance" going to be investigated? 🤷♀️🤷♀️
pam cheslock
Jared looks so much like Damian
@pam cheslock I call him kushner666 💩💩👹👹
@@Cathyblj He does. kushner666👹
“I hope not” is one of thee most popular phrases since the election in 2016..
Michael Evan Gatto It will be even more popular 2020: Re-Elect Trump? I Hope Not!
"It keeps saying 8, I don't understand."
Trump's family never would have passed these newest immigration qualifications!
Melanie's parents came in on chain migration. She worked on a tourist visa and then got a "genius" exception somehow. I'm sure Trump was not involved in that.
“Mr. President are we going to war with Iran?”
“... I hope not?”
WTF kinda leadership is that?
It's called "keeping your options open" :/ this "president" clearly has no idea wtf he's doing 🤦♀️
"Dangerously unqualified "!
"Professional Daughter Husband"
A new and clever title for the little boy in the white house.
We'll use the acronym "PDH." See if any of the Trump fanboys figure it out.
Doubtful, very doubtful.
And, will any of them ask what it means? Doubtful, very doubtful...
Reeking of 'Dangerously Unqualified'.
@@richarddarlington1139 Unlikely, as questions and thinking aren't what they are known for. They just parrot the talking points of their Cult leaders.
Somehow I can hear the voice of the Pimpleface on The Simpsons whenever he speaks.
Mint condition cpr dummy is still no.1.
Once again.. solid gold Mr. Colbert. Thank you
Please! Please! Don’t let another war in Middle East! We can’t tolerate another disaster☹️
@Geo Smith and? Seriously, and??? What's your point? "Yeah well it's Obama's fault!" is not an appropriate answer to "We don't want another war."
"Muslim Wizard" and "Dumbledore of the Desert"! I just spit up laughing so hard!
Dido Man ha ha ha yes and usa brought him into power, thank you, ha ha ha
Christian Cullen oh believe me, I enjoyed immensely these characterizations of the high priests of Iran, colbert is one of my all time favorites, it seems there is no end to the absurdities oozing from usa policical structure.
Voltaire; “ a believer in absurdities will commit atrotices”.
Btw none of ud is getting out alive.
I am a Muslim Iranian and I found that comment offensive.
Just kidding it was hilarious 😆😆😆
That was a best one! I was eating lunch and almost spit everything out. I am a Muslim too. Loved it.
I busted out laughing hearing it lmaooooo 🤣
These videos give me comfort. Thank you, Colbert.
How does Trump saying 'I hope not' give comfort. He really has no clue until Hannity gives the word on Fox. I don't understand how everyone let's Trump be Trump. And American's thought Saddam was bad... WTH is going on in the US, where are the leaders, who are they.
Better to laugh than cry or simply go mad.
"...dangerously unqualified."
A most superb observation 👏
Love you, Colbert 🙏
flynnbrown2001 It’s one adjective too many as far as I’m concerned. Dangerous would have been sufficient.
@@Anthony-nv7gd I am quoting Colbert's show. That's all.
He was being gentle with him. Sarcasm as a power tool.
I am pretty expressive with my adjectives, when it comes to the turd and his family & kushner, in the WH. Except bannon, he's a kid, who I hope, doesn't follow in their criminal footsteps. Four generations of criminality is enough in any immigrant family.
Little bannon may turn the tide.
flynnbrown2001 Your comment was totally cool and Colbert is awesome. Just saying Trump’s administration is super dangerous, that’s all.
@@Anthony-nv7gd I agree with your acute observation. Thank you.
I fear for future generations.
Even though we live across the pond, in England, I feel that us presidencies have global impacts. Wars, secret & otherwise, in the Middle East & elsewhere, your own neighbourhood countries, kill and displace millions. Consequently we all pay for these tragedies, in social, political etcetera costs...
🌞🙏
flynnbrown2001 You’re speaking the truth bud... Sadly, we, the citizens of the US are as much to blame as the the Government officials we allow to act so corruptly and with such disregard for the welfare of the 99% of us that have to survive on debt. I wouldn’t blame anyone abroad for thinking we’re all a bunch of idiots! 🤦♂️🤣. God bless and good luck.
Kushner talking about merits, ...hahaha, what a joke
"Dangerously Unqualified" omg Colbert you slay me
I thought he was gonna say it's pure water, but that was perfect
the new perfume by the "professional daughter's-husband"
Pure water is Pences perfume lol
iDied.
Did John Bolton really have to get a career in politics? I mean couldn't he have chosen a line of work where he would've been less dangerous and destructive? Like serial killing?
If not bolton some other corporate asshat would have been given power.
He used to be a sheepdog. Maybe you saw him in those Looney Tunes cartoons with Wile Coyote.
dangerously unqualified hahah.. Stephen is the king!
Whatever you do don’t watch this with a full bladder 😂😖🤦♀️
The best show to call out the idiots in the WH. Thank you Stephen and team.
A whiff of Jared, the sweet smell of nepotism.
I prefer "Nice Pants" - the smell of corduroy.
What does nepotism mean?
@@stevenxdavis Its when you favor your family members over qualified people. Think of the stereotypes of "the boss's son"
@@yabutmaybenot.6433 thanks man, I would have to agree
@@stevenxdavis Ya, it's not a word you would usually hear in politics, as they made nepotism illegal after John F Kennedy hired his brother as Attorney General. Yet like most ethical rules and laws, Trump doesn't care and just ignores them.
"I'm so glad you asked..." -- LMAO!!
1) "Muslim wizard" line was fkin funny!
2) "Patriotic assimilation" sounds like a euphemism for "christian", or at least "not muslim".
“It keeps saying 8. I don’t understand.”
Underrated joke of the night
I liked it too!
I agree. And only the people who actually had a Magic 8 Ball would understand that he was holding it upside down.
(Or right side up. Either way, the wrong way)
@Donna Willams, how ya doin my friend? I see you have good taste in comedy shows.
@Donna Willams, I haven’t seen you around lately either. But I’ve been there every day. We must be watching the same shows on different channels or something. But yeah, the trolls are everywhere lately. It’s a constant battle. The Russian trolls are easy. I even had one admit he was from Russia. That was pretty funny. It’s the American Trumpers that are impossible to deal with. Anyway, hope all is well with you too my friend.
@@brianwalsh7931 Or that he bought a regular 8-ball by mistake.
A whiff of Jared, That's gotta *_REEEEEEEKKKK!_* 😳🤢🤮
"Smells like Red Square"
@@telectronix1368 or the sewers below!😉
What would it smell like, hamburders?
@@couragekarnga8735 HaHa, maybe reeking white priviledge!
Whatever that smells like.😉😁
'It is a pleasure to meet you, muslim wizzard' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Stephen Colbert = best Trump imitator
Seth Meyers = best Bernie Sanders imitator
Please you two... Do a presidential debate!
Yes!!!
Dirk Hpunkt
No man, Anthony Atamanuik is the best fake Trump. The only thing that gives him away is he’ll occasionally be more normal than Trump is...y’know, like have a tie that’s normal length
@@AriJeru I didn't know that guy. He's awesome :-D
Trevor Noah = best…
Um…
Trevor Noah the best Trump imitator
"dangerously unqualified..." This was great
If the Acting Defense Secretary envisions sending up to 120,000 troops to the Middle East, those deployed should include Donald Jr, Kushner and the children of those who are pushing for military confrontation.
Gene Simmons is doing a briefing at the Pentagon!??! what universe is this?! I want to get off!
Chris Buttonshaw Oh Chris, I want to get off too 😩
Why wasn't this on the front page of -- Flipboard?!
Omg 😂😂😭😭. That Muslim wizard joke cracked me up. I am a Muslim too, not a wizard yet though hahaha
Don't let go of your dreams!
Muslim here too, and I almost shot water out of my nose! (Yes, it's after iftar here.)
I was a bit on the fence, asking myself if they/you would consider it a bit racist or something like that. Glad you guys have a sense of humour.
It's hilarious.
Dollie haha solid sense of humour buddy lol have a good day
I think I literally pulled a muscle laughing so hard
"Muslim wizard" made me spit out my oreo
I died too.
Finally, a new title
"Dank memes that make me spit out my Oreos"
uofmd Thank god you did. Now stay that Way. 😂
I was actually drinking water. Had to cover my mouth with my hand and some of it still sprayed onto my keyboard.
I love when he says " dot dot dot..dot dot" part.
Worst throwback Thursday ever...😂 but...true 😮
They lie so blatantly it ought to be easy to hang em for it.
I hope they're all shanked in Prison after leaving office
@@selalewow And when people break off friendships with them, there's the NYT to give them a nice big page to publicly sob about how cruel and insensitive those evil leftists are to cut someone off over an ~opinion~.
@@selalewow Well it helps to have an evil obstructionist turtle possessed by the spirit of a racist civil war general as the senate majority leader (Mitch McConnell) who has already stopped attempts to reign in the white house
Remember back in the day when a lynch mob was seen as a terrible thing? Oh well. At least I can put my noose-tying skills to good use. ;p
Love it when Stephen cracks up.
The repoter: Mr president are we going to have a war with Iran?
Trump: I hope not.
Colbert's reaction was Marvelous!
😂😂😂
My favorite part is when they cut to Jon smiling and nodding slowly
Or looking utterly baffled. No one looks utterly baffled better.
In Africa, we watch a comedy tv show/series called the 'The corrupted American politics. Which is a hit show
Where in Africa exactly?
@Ahmad Abdalla Jama - I think they broadcast that in Europe too.. xD
I nearly died laughing at the Muslim wizard bit.
Dirty Santa:)
Yeah, me too
Nearly died?
Pity.
Dumbledore of the desert 💀
@@thehellyousay hahahaha
I was at this show yesterday! Awesome and electrifying atmosphere.
Arguably one of the best skits of recent Late Show history.
Many good punch lines 😁
Please, please..........send Jared to the Middle East, more photos of Ken Doll wearing kevlar over a blazer.😁
Jared is "Mr. Eightball." Trump calls him in, gives his head a good shake and goes with the next thing out of his mouth.
Alex Mullins And the opioid crisis as well.
I think a huge uncle sam suit would look better on him. And maybe a target on his forehead...
@@uofmd Israeli Government you mean. Lots of awesome Israelis out there.... who, just like us, roll their eyes at what their leaders do with the Kush and Co. 🤘❤
International Harvester Yes, please!!!
Stephen Colbert u r the man love your show...
Stephen Colbert’s Jokes are gold his Monologues never lack in quality and get even better sometimes
Last Panda they are basically the same... one joke in a different way! Yeah he is soo funny and lies constantly. I have never watched his show because a few excerpts shows he is repetitious and vulgar!
@@velmar8363 So you just come here to make comments on a show you claim to have never watched?
@Jeff Phoenix Do tell us what comedy is then.
MT Yankin no!
I love it when SC can’t stay in character...
Let's vote for a "regime change" in the US in 2020
The Dangerously unqualified (Bolton, pompeo) , led by the Certainly Traitorous, Criminal, Grifter, Drumpf. What could go wrong?!!!
Since when did Colbert become an expert in politics? His comedy is boring enough. He should stick to what he does best. Be a clown.
@Donna Willams Your not forced to comment on Jo's post😂🖕🏼
And FYI a lot of people LOVED Hitler too!
+jo pump. Since when did trump become an expert in politics? He should stick to what he does best, being a clown on "The Apprentice".
@@starbrightwingtips9103 You should stick to what you're best at, NOTHING!
Do you have a Helicopter?
President Trump does! 😂🖕🏼
Dumbledore of the desert!!! 😂😂😂😂
...and this is how we get the (real) news nowadays 🤣😂 jokes
Roberto Blandon True story.
CNN is sooooo 2018...lol
Not much scares me more than the term “patriotic assimilation” 😳
Love it when Stephen struggle not to break out in bigly laughter😂😂😂😂
Mr. COMEDY extraordinaire !! Stephen you're THE BEST 😃 ❤
"Dangerously Unqualified" Nailed it!
This is going to be very interesting to read about in history books, because there's such a crazy degree of transparency into the president's mind (via Twitter) - the analysis is going to be fascinating.
Campbell Holder there won’t be any history when war starts!
If anyone alive after Iran, Iraq, Venezuelan , N Korean wars.
All coverup for unredacted Mueller report.
Yes Trump will het thousands killed to coverup Mueller unredacted report.
Let's not forget who unilaterally withdrew from the nuclear deal.
Man the only joy in this crazy world, Is the Late Show with Colbert
I agree
Burritos
Comedians: always the voice of reason.
Where TF is Katt Williams??
A "Wag the dog senerio".
Distraction is Trumps only play right now.
One mistake.
Flying carpet belongs to Alibaba who was Arab. We are persian.
I have Persian friends here in Australia, they do not like the name ‘Iranian’. Zarathustra was one the wisest teachers in history, and Zoroastrians still hold the principles in their hearts.
"I hope not"...aw, christ...
Reporter: "Mr President, are we going to war with Iran?"
Donald: "I hope not."
Me: "Time for regime change in America."
At least it's an honest answer. Trump has no clue what's going on with anything, at any time.
Hes gonna deploy us over a tweet just like he fires and hires
_"You'll have to tune in and find out"_
He thinks he can pull a Bush and stay in office if he gets us in a war
"Are we going to war........". I don't know. Let me ask Israel!!!
How did you get here AMERICA!
Thank you, my fellow NU comrade! You continue to provide my hours and hours of satisfying therapy to the clown show in our beloved White House! I can't wait for the American People to get it back!
How can anyone know what is planned by our WH leadership without Press conferences?
They talk to people, have anonymous sources, find leaked papers, etc. I don't know how it is in your country, but here we have the right to read and see official papers and memo's unless they're confidential.
As a Canadian, this shit is gold to us up here !!! Lol have fun
mg antonive, I think you meant to say “having fun”.
I'm not enjoying this anymore. It was funny at first but now this s**t is getting serious. I feel really sorry for you guys. Best of luck.
At least Someone is being entertained by all this Jackassery.
It is shit to us too.
Trevor Sole - Yeah, we gotta get out before Gilead options our uteruses and throws our friends off buildings. #KeepAmericaFromBecomingGilead
Quagmires Are Us....!!😂😂😂😂😂
LMAO! Was not prepared for that battleship in the desert! 😂
Just another example of Trump creating a problem then claiming he solved the problem.
Yep. That’s the oldest incompetent boss’s trick in the book.
Create a problem, solve the problem, and be a hero.
Well, he is a problem, so if he died...
He's hilarious. He's right on. I burst out laughing when he started singing. It's all funny, yet all scary at the same time. What the hell.
123benny4 Colbert is funny, the subject matter is beyond frightening.
"Keeps saying 8, I dont understand' ...Imao, sounds about right.
I can think of another regime change that I'd like to see.
That Jared joke made me snort, your writers are amazing
Thanks for mentioning Iran. Most people don't seem to know the horid conditions the US sanctions are causing while thinking Iran somehow earned this treatment.
You have the best writers and a brilliant delivery ... thank you!
I do?
That marine battle group was scheduled for "war games" in that area, and were just moved two weeks earlier.
Is it just me or does Stephen seem a bit more relaxed these days...
He's singing, dancing and lots of laughter too...
More of the same sir
The daht daht daht is back and countless gems... continue with the beautiful savagery Stephen
Dangerously unqualified, indeed! Great job, Stephen!
Muslim wizard.......Dumbledore of the desert. I'm dying here!!😂😂😂😂😂😂
😨 Jared
Gives me the willies😬
I completed the process, came back to life, and then DIED AGAIN at Stephen's president toddler "don't you dare close your eyes." 😂
DANGEROUSLY UNQUALIFIED
enrique cortez And Jared’s Father-in-Law’s Cologne would be “Dangerously Unstable”...
I just love it when Stephen can't keep a straight face when he's telling a joke. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That's how I feel for almost the entire monologue
"He went to Jared" - pretty much always means someone is going to get screwed and it's going to cost a lot of money.
but he has tons of negotiating experience with grand wizards
That, I believe, is what the children call "a sick burn."
U.S. ... Welcome to Rome 37AD. :( Its painful to witness what you are going through.
Caligula was a freaking saint compared to the odiferous orange scum in the white house.
good comparison.
@@amandagardner565 Aye, better to compare him to Drumpf's predecessor, Saint Ronnie Ray-Gun.
James Rodney
Watergate was nothing compared to this shitstorm.
It's even more painful being in it.
James Rodney
Thanks for empathizing.
Best Wishes from Hogtown, Florida.
It would be totally useless to remind the Prezident that declaring war requires Congressional agreement, right?
Remember how peaceful it was in the Iran Nuclear Deal when we weren't going to war. Yeah, I miss those days too.
Why is it okay for USA to meddle in other countries, demand regime changes, but not okay when other countries do it to USA?!?
It's wrong when we do it to other countries, and it's wrong when they do it to us. Shocker, I know.
Excellent point!
It's because the USA is "exceptional"...
@@sabzzz333 Oh yeah, silly me! Exceptionally... what's the word I'm looking for..... ?
Because the US is special, written while I’m tapping the side of my head. All kidding aside, there are a lot of people who think that the US is so special and that all countries aspire to be just like America, so they feel they can interfere in other countries.
I like when he sings esp. as Trump... pure gold. One of your best, Mr. Colbert
t'rump's plan includes a civics test and the ability to read and write in English?🤔
So, pretty sure the only way t'rump would be able to get in is if he had Lori Loughlin's guy pull some strings!😃😄😆😅
Ro G - Obviously. He looks like a rower, right?
Reporter: "Mr President, are we going to war with Iran?"
Trump: "I hope not." 🤔 **shakes eightball**
3:21 That part gets me every time , especially the "Don't you dare close your eyes" {::>_
This was your best monologue ever brother! Lmfao
Agreed! 😉
Yes.
"Don't you dare close your eyes" was the end of me 😂
I am so glad I don't have children...I hope in USA and everyone else survives this.
OMFG!! Will we ever learn and take ACTION on what we learn? I am very doubtful about this.
I really wanted him to say "Giggity" after the use of the 'quagmire' word lol..... if you know, you know
Seriously lmao at this monologue! Genius jokes!
"It keeps saying 'eight.' I don't understand." LOL!!
I wondered how many got that joke.
"Mister president wil you be re- elected in 2020?"
"I hope not."
@Geo Smith nice right wing copy pasta propaganda you got there :D
Wich nazi site you got it from?
I hope TH Not, 2.
"An alleged sexual harasser who wears scary clown makeup at the WH....AND Gene Simmons visited." 😃 LOL!🤣😅
That was the woman formerly a man known as Michelle obama that wore scary clown makeup.
a.r. hays. It’s an old insult. Try something new smh
@@Hazetruck she's jealous donald's boobs are bigger than hers.
Keeps saying 8... The reaction proved the age of the crowd!
That Bombs R US bit needs to be it's own video... And fully finished.
"Like a steaming turd". Man, I love this guy.