I can say with confidence as an ENFP that the easiest way to conquer depression is to quiet your Fi and to develop your Ti logic. This means expose yourselves to philosophies that ask you to look squarely at the facts of life, rather than how you feel about everything. Every ENFP should read some of the great stoic works of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, or Seneca. They've saved my butt a million times. Stoicism tells us to realize what is in our control and what is not in our control. Stoicism tells us to briefly tie down the sails of our ship, instead of letting the winds of our emotions carrying us from one problem to the next. I've been discouraged in my life, sometimes very discouraged, but never depressed. I've been told by my mother several times she wishes I was dead, I've been abandoned by family, I've been so poor I've had to live without a car, completely by bus at some points, eating cold canned food day after day, lost a business, and yet I've never been depressed. Not happy certainly, but not defeated. I credit that success to philosophies that asked me to find clarity and truth, rather than immediate emotional comfort.
Very true. I was in a state of depression/coming-of-age, five years ago. It was crazy, exhausting, and things felt hopeless. I'm glad I came across self-help tips, essays, then ended up into philosophy and such. I guess it's luck and fate. Now, I'm not a Buddhist, but its teachings definitely helped me navigate life better. I tried to follow Stoicism but it wasn't my cup of tea. But it has similarities to Buddhist teachings. And of course, MBTI and cognitive functions 'studies' helped too.
What I essentially get from your point in trying to emphasise Ti over Fi is that we need to be more open-minded rather than self-dependant and reliant on our past experiences of comfort... so true 🙌🏼 we need to remember that we don’t have all the resolutions within us and that we are never alone nor is anything the end of everything (like our dramatic Fi likes to tell us again and again... “if I can’t have it all/ know it all, I’m doomed!”... etc.”
This approach has really helped me too. Like he said in the video, every single thing that happened to me was somehow a direct personal attack--and always my fault. It took awhile to grapple with the reality that these things weren't within my control. Quieting my emotions long enough for my brain to work first before processing the perceived "attack" was what I needed.
ENFP 4w5 - I was depressed for 20 years with CPTSD symptoms (anxiety, severe insomnia, withdrawal, rage, dissociation, etc). Very introverted. I didn't even realize I was an ENFP, I didn't think it was possible. A lot of people didn't realize how depressed I was, of course no one knew how crazy the inside of my mind/psyche really was. Others saw me as like a harsh ISTJ type of person, and it was so frustrating because in my heart I knew that's not the real me. Thank you for pointing out the ISTJ connection - I also think ENFPs go to being like an unhealthy/'dark' INFJ. I always mistyped as INFJ...Eric Thor has a good video about that that helped me understand why I was so serious, withdrawn and only wanting ultimate truth, no playfulness or joy. It's taking quite some time to rebuild a new me since I never had an identity as the open, happy ENFP since age 13 or so. Thanks for this video!
I've always been ENFP and for a few months thought I was 4w5, then briefly 5w4 and now I've realised I was totally wrong. I'm a 7w6 and embracing the negative 7 aspects (mainly weed abuse, video game over indulgence, and an apathy to the world) made me think I was in the 4 category. When I am at my best self I am a strong 7w6, who pursues the 5 traits (which is the growth arrow). This perception seems more accurate and more comforting to me, maybe you're in the same boat?
I think you’re exactly right. I’m an ENFP; when I went through a bout of depression or the blues or whatever, I seemed more INTJ than my INTJ husband. And you’re also spot on about taking things personally and internalizing them. Thank you for the video! I hope that you have found a way to bring yourself back to the truth(that you are a valuable person) when you get down. Let your light shine! Take care and God bless.
I have been flip flopping between the typical ENFP that is bouncy fun animated and somewhat down in the dumps and bored. When I am out and busy I turn into the healthier version of the ENFP. At home I become bored, listless and prone to ruminating thoughts. It's been ongoing now for a few years. Its surprising how quickly this flips back and forth. I know if I were to have something to do and go out with a friend I would change up almost immediately. Left to myself ...blah. I would not call it depression in the clinical sense. I do not know what exactly to call, understimulation, lack of structure. I feel ENFPs need a certain kind of daily structure to stay healthy, something that's been missing in my life for a few years now. I am not liking it. Today bored as can be and browsing around the community being curious but really longing for real human connection. I hope you are doing better now as this was recorded over a year ago. (ENFP)
Oh my god I ve just found it now and this is so relatable. I'm at home for 7 days now and I just watch funny videos and procrastinate and feel bad about myself even tho I can't call myself depressed, It's just a lack of stucture, felt it so good
Oh how much I can relate to this. I feel like it has to do also with finding balance between spending time alone and being social and doing new and exciting things with other people. I can't deal too much time alone, it becomes a blub of nothing. I really feel like it has a lot to do with being honest with ourselves and about our needs. I feel like many perceived standards for what "good life" or time management or maintaining habits / household chores etc. has been giving us signals that we do things the wrong way or that we are in fact the wrong way. I find that it's important to learn to be kind to ourselves even if we don't reach the goals we set for ourselves and to become self aware of our strengths and weaknesses!
Hi there! ENFP here :) I’ve been depressed several times and once it lasted for 2 years. The thing with us is I think, when we are depressed for a long time, we tend to see that as a normal way of living so we conform to meet the standards of that life because we see ourselves as weird already and we don’t want to make things extra weird for our family or friends. Another thing I want to mention is that you are right about hating ourselves. I find myself hating the fact that I’m a happy person, I see my idealistic view of life as insane, I start thinking that maybe the best would be for me to stop interacting with people because anything I say positive might not be positive for them and I will mess them up because of our strong ability to convince people into things (if this makes sense). I start obeying everything my friends and family tell ne to do because at that point I don’t feel competent to even have an opinion about anything because I’m not a very realistic person. So it’s just a long long foggy period for us. Anyways, what I found most useful in these situations is to travel and to hang on to a buddy that really gets you and supports you whatever you do. I think that every time we get out of depression is like being reborn. So you need to give it a proper amount of time and just watch, read and accept things that are positive, and filled with love. I watch Disney movies in those moments because they give me this idea of things being worth fighting for and the feeling that there is a lot of love out there. So I start feeling better. I know this is long, and I have so much more to say about this but I hope this all makes sense to somebody. 😄💜
I was depressed In past year but now idk if i am depressed or not buttt i am now want to be pro volleyball player i am not taking things personally anymore now i am focus In becoming better person and make people stand out by themselfs idk if that is the right way but i do most of things right and i am not hurting people that much
I feel as an enfp like i just cant get anything right. Like im this super annoying person that just looks dumb all the time and my personality is a joke.i feel like i often make jokes out of every situation to make sure i don't get hurt or take things too personally. I have 2 kids and i feel like my life is chaotic because im constantly trying to claw at anything that can help me get more money to make sure my family is taken care of and is happy. Sometimes things don't work out for the best and my spontaneous behavior is just making things worse. I don't know how to deal with myself and its frustrating. I have an enfj bf and hes constantly judging my behavior and pointing out my flaws which is helpful but i feel like im being FORCED to pay close attention to myself and how i behave. Im sad because i dont believe enfps are the light. I feel like we are annoying clowns. Id rather be an introvert.
You're not an annoying clown. You have amazing superpowers that other types could only dream of: amazing empathy, creativity, open-mindedness, and genuine positivity. But sometimes you just have to concentrate on other boring, every day things and issues, and if you don't, you'll get into huuuuge trouble. Read a lot about Si and how to develop it. Get organized and realistic. Be thankful for your personality--when you learn to channel and focus it at the right time, you'll be happy you're yourself. Good luck.
You just described me in a nutshell. I feel the exact same way. Honestly I've been trying so hard to change my viewpoint but I've gotten to the point where I think I'm getting used to my meds. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I hate feeling like this. I'd really rather be istp or an nt type. My personality is so unlikable to me
@@user-rj9ft8cq3v Hi there ♥️ thanks for sharing your heart. I don’t know everything you’re going through, but just wanted to leave some encouragement that you were made with a purpose. You are not a joke and you were designed to feel and create and encourage and love and also to be loved. Please take some time soon to let someone you trust know how you feel and what you’re going through. God bless you with peace. - A fellow ENFP ♥️
It amazes me how someone who has never spoken to me can make me feel so understood and connected to them. I just want to shine✨💡 it’s funny how you said it comes in waves. I have the pleasure of mothering the funniest most loving 5year old and her enthusiasm in her story telling about how she saw a giant dog and a little dog in love when she was picking only the “yummy pecans” with her grandma brings me to tears❤️ both sad and happy. I want to pick yummy pecans with her too but instead I’m at a job that is corrupting my soul and causing me to self sabotage because of how unappreciated I feel. Yeah, I think I just decided to quit and I’m E*X*C*I*T*E*D about it instead of overwhelmed with foreign anxiety about leaving my comfort zone. This was food for my soul at 5am. And I think ima start a RUclips channel too. Much love to you. I love you and it’s probably because you are me 😌🤞🏽 let’s go shine my love ✨💕 P.s. I watched you feeling kinda off, and I leave you feeling animated and validated and reminded of why I love who I am. Again, much love ! 🥰
remember: if you have a potential, there's definitely someone who needs it. never stop listening to what your heart tells. i will be interested if you had videos on your channel :) I am an INFJ and I am interested in ENFPs ;)
ENFP should follow the lead of The Fool in tarot. In fact, The Fool's Journey is perfect for lead intuitives. Like he said, you gotta dump society's standards and do that shadow work. Or just read a course in miracles, that cured my depression during the pandemic. No more meds, thank god
I'm a little late to this video, but I'll leave my two cents anyway. Hi, I'm an ENFP too, and I soooo felt you (hope you are doing better by now?) I've been in "shallow" depressive episodes for the last 6 years, and a lot of what you said rings true to me. When I'm in it, the feeling of guilt weighs heavily on me. I've felt so bad for not being there more for my friends, felt so self-absorbed and useless. I still often feel guilty, for not contacting my friends more (even though I still contact them more, than they me). I selfsabotage a lot, and until I saw this video I always asked myself "Why do I do that? Why do I do whats wrong, when I know what would help me right now?" and i explained it with "Well the depression doesn't leave you any energy, to do the good things" (Which is a sad excuse) but I guess, it might be that I create the reasons for feeling bad, so I can understand why I feel bad, because, as you say, otherwise it's CHAOS. I am, maybe a little untypical for ENFP, as much emotional as I am rational (had to become to cope) I can switch gears very easily, which I probably developed to cope with stress. But this rational side always feel cold to me and I literally had to sit the two sides (emotions and rationality) down in therapie to get them to talk it out and work together. One thing that helped me cope with my immense Weltschmerz (feeling the pain of the world) (also HSP, hi), was turning to nihilism - which I can NOT recommend for ENFPs, because it questions all ideals, all strive, the usefulness of trying. so don't do that. I do find solace in the knowing, that everything will end, and in the grand scheme of things, we are utterly unimportant. But as I am an ENFP I very much struggle with this too, because I want to create, I want to move, I want things to change! And I want to believe in the good in people and the possibility of things changing for the better. SO what actally helps me, when I am down in the black hole of depression, and MIGHT help fellow ENFPs struggleing with depression: Even if I don't feel it, i TRY to meet people who I know love me, because that gives me comfort, sometimes even energy. I tend to become extremely introverted, when I'm depressed, so I can't stand big groups of people, but meeting with a VIP in my life (and getting jolly drunk together) helps me to go back to me happy, engaged, idea-creating, discussing and loving self, and reminds me, how nice life and people can be. If I am too depressed for that, I talk to my best friend, she is an INFJ, and knows me very well. I can go through my feelings and thoughts with her, just processing it, while she asks good questions and listens and supports me. We ENFPs tend to have a good handful of people in our lifes (I don't know about you, but I cherry pick my friends very carefully -> people with deep abyssess in their souls, because even if I don't travel much (no monnnnneyyy) I like to explore the human psyche very much). So try to make use of them. We are usually very good friends, my friends often come to me for advise and moral support, so they are usually quite glad, when they can return the favour for ones, although they might be schocked about how deeply dark we get, when they are used to our funny and carefree exterior. Second thing that helps me: sport, get those endorphines rolling! I don't know about you, I have a really hard time to relax, so I need to release tension while doing something, be that yoga, cycling, swimming + Sauna. I can't relax, if I'm not powered out. Also NATURE - no place better to unwind, look at the trees, hear the rumbling river, get inspired and open up the mind again. What also helps me is fun. Now i gotta be honest, my depression as stolen any sense of what is fun to me for very long, so I am rediscovering things sometimes, like boardgaming, crafting, (not a long list as of yet) but maybe try to think back to what gave you joy, and try to lose yourself in that again. What also worked wonders for me was meditation, balancing out the mind. It makes me able to look outward again. Sometimes, I get so caught up with me own depression, it helps me to focus entirely on others, to fell that connection again. Maybe go do some charity work, it can put things in perspective. Okay, this has gotten out of hand. One last thing: I don't know about you, but I felt very bad about going to therapy first, because I thought I should be able to get myself out of it, that I wasn't feeling bad enough to deserve therapy. that is BS. If you feel depressed, mildly or severely, constantly or on and of. You deserve to be happy. Therapy helped me a lot. you are not alone, and you don't need to go through this on your own. Get professional help. Because as we heard in the video: Depressed ENFPs are black holes when they could be shining like stars (or lightbulbs) Love you, bye.
I was typed as an INFP (Reddit lol) but listening to you talk makes me feel so understood. I feel like your take is what I need right now. So, ENFP, INFP, whatever. I just needed this today.
You are beautiful..inside and out.. and I am an enfp so you can know I mean it with all my heart I too am struggling.... and honestly to hear you tell my heart.. makes me feel like I'm not alone? Like.. this isn't IT
As a more introverted ENFP I totally understood your predicament! How the depression comes and goes in waves, we start nitpicking, become cold, at times manipulative without even knowing it and distance ourselves from others. I deal with it by reminding myself that it is just a phase and there’s light at the end of tunnel and taking it one day at a time as we always have our sense of optimism even on the darkest days this is what separates us from chronically depressed people. Also journaling and mediation or just talking to a loved one does a trick as it makes you realise that its only a little hitch in a bigger plan for us ENFP’s which is to just be happy
I highly recommend doing (endurance) sports against depression. The moment I stop doing sports is the moment that blanket gets thrown over me. Sports keeps the demons out.
I'm an ENFP-T, so I tend to worry more than the stereotype of ENFPs anyway, but at certain times anxiety and depression are very crushing, and excitement about all the amazing possibilities feels very far away. When I don't have energy from seasonal depression (or my frustrating physical limitations), "quiet adventures" that don't mean anything are good, like finding new things on RUclips. Jigsaw puzzles and sudoku are activities that help me quiet my thoughts when depression happens, so thanks for pointing out the ISTJ connection w/ ENFP depression.
I am ENFP and resonate with all that you’ve said. For the past three months, I struggled with social anxiety because I was intentionally isolating myself from the world, I had anorexia and would criticise myself if I didn’t follow the strict diet I set out for myself to hit that weight goal, and I was depressed because I could not open up about it to anyone because everyone naturally expects me to be THEIR light, THEIR comfort, THEIR listening ear and THEIR shoulder to cry on. It felt scary being on the other side of the table. So true about the ultimate flip switch to ISTJ 👏🏼 this strong sense of apathy/ hopeless lack of passion just continues to grow out of control if not tackled, early on.
I’m an enfp and I feel so sad because I lost my bubbly side and I’m really trying to get back to my personality and yeah I think that’s because of my toxic friend 🥺 I feel soooo lonly right now
We can make it easy. So, when an enfp being depressed we're going to be infp until we didn't felt our depression again. I knew I felt like this before. And yes, when enfp or infp got depressed, we are VERY TRULY DEEPLY depressed. Bc we don't know how to explain our feelings to others, we just blame ourselves, and we end up being alone in our room to think and much think that makes our depressed soo much bigger
I need help. I'm ENFP and you just described my whole life. I'm gifted, first memory was at 2 1/2 years old. So get this. I show my ENFP side, my true self, and being reprimanded about "socially acceptable behavior " as a kid, still as an adult. I'm stuck. Unappreciated by my closest loved ones. Not cared for. Stuck. And nothing to let go because I refuse to change! I am a chatterbox, extrovert, joyful and adventurous dreamer/explorer! Why can't people let me be me?!!
Good video, thank you for sharing your insights :) It is nice to actually become aware that other ENFPs can also become depressed. I think you did a great job in terms of reminding me/us ENFPs here what we really are and how we think/act 😊 I liked the metaphor of lightbulb and black hole even though it kinda hit me at the time I heard it first. Anyway, thanks!
I know i am a bit late to this party as well, However, While I heard light bulb and black hole, All i felt was starlight, And Black holes. It, felt, surprisingly comforting, that some one else could put it to words in such an open way, thank you.
Oh my gosh! I have been aware of the MBTI for about 20 years. I have just recently been prompted to dig deeper to understand (I met my first INFJ and was shocked at the instant “magic” in this friendship). I’ve been watching a mountain of videos and I enjoy most. Having said that, after watching just two of your videos, I feel like you’re writing my story! (More or less). Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I’m subscribing and looking forward to binging! 😁
This video came to me in the right moment of my life, I am also an ENFP was very optimistic most of my life trying my hardest to make things work but at some point my wife got tired about me trying to make things happen and not having enough results, at some point she started to be really mean and harsh to me some times, we broke up and came back few times in the past years, this last time seems to be definitive and I've got into depression worse than ever in my life, I'm trying to overcome this feeling but it is very hard 💔😞
Your video is really interesting, I'm so happy actually to have someone say this. I can totally relate, I was thinking to myself that i was acting more like an ISTJ, and so I questioned my identity. Also bc I felt like I was boring and therefore, not likeable enough, I was like just a snail, and anyway I didn't want to please or make an effort to be funny. This is strange bc you don't understand your old self and your whole world collapses
Thanks for the video it was helpful i felt like there was a void in my soul for soo long but now i know the consequences of living as my shadow self i wish you the best have a ritch full life
INFJ here.. so true about the ENFP I was encountered with. She is stuck in her Si... I tried to make her see her suppressed Fi and Ne where her growth is. I hope the seeds I planted one day grow up and she glow radiant in her own functional stack. She is a human golden retriever, it's painful to see her in pain that she herself unable to recognise.
Thank you. I kinda feel better when you said, "Depression isn't you. Depression isn't us." Because I lost so many friends due to depression and some of them called me "selfish" which I believed even though I was trying to be selfless and make everyone happy. Things never get better, but I'm getting used to it, and I know how to deal with them better. Still feeling suicidal sometimes tho. But I'll take my time and I'll be ok. I hope you're ok too.
What helped me several times when I hit rock bottom was to write down every day what was good about the day and what/who I am grateful for. No matter how small the things are: the sun rising, being alive, having had something to eat, a bird that sang, something I smiled about. Over time this always makes me feel better because I start to focus on other simpler aspects of life that are more positive than the thought spiral before. I usually do that at night but whichever time is fine. Someone also said "we are not our feelings we are what watches them come and go". Hope you'll feel better soon.
Im in this since my childhood but since my separation with a Pn 2 years ago and lost my job on february, i am in a bad vicious circle, fortunately i have the guitar, piano, singing, sports, diy, but it 's the first time that it last that way. I m strong but i feel so lonely and cry everyday i sometimes want to die. I cannot because of my little boy 😓 I have also to fight with my ex for the somethings and in these cases you see how much you are alone. Because everybody don't understand you I feel the perversity in people i cannot mind of beginning a new relationship in love i cannot trust anyone at the moment.
Being an ENFP myself i could relate to this content. What could be more depressing than a situation where an enfp gay guy is sincerely in love with an istp straight guy? Added to that are the discriminations faced by enfp for being different over long years with no proper family love etc? But I have found my consolation & strength in Spirituality - specifically the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Naming all our worries and identifying it with the wounds of Sacred heart and offering our deppression to the Agonized Heart of Jesus at Gethsamane and the sweat-blood that He shed had really helped me to get out of deppression and suicidal thoughts. There is no greater consolation in knowing that our sufferings do have a value. Praying for all fellow Enfps undergoing various pains in their lives. Amen.
i guess that i'm in depression for almost 10 years. i have been mystyped a lot i know that i'm an ENFP but i really don't know who i am. or maybe how can i live a live being who i am. i'm not only depressed, i'm poor, i don't get a job, and i have no time or energy for "dreaming"
Thank you so much for this video you are so relatable when you speak the truth. I find as an ENFP when I fall I fall but when I get back up I shine again. I have found that personally using essential oils has helped me in so many ways when I go through these stages.
Wow, I just realized I am kinda depressed because I have no drive or passion so I focus on goals... All my lovely friends are away and I am feeling super lost and just sticking to character building and goals... But not for long! Strength to all struggling amazing enfps!!!
From Enfp: I share with you this; Any problem we face it is about our system values. That mean, we need to fixe it. Islam = Quran, try to know about it, Only try, & tell me the result. 💜 With islam you will feel you are a live. This is it the difference,With it or with out it. It is huge. You will be happy & comfortable.& successful
You see I struggle with religion because it doesn't align, with my personal values . I KNOW it's evil to kill and eat an animal so I can't see any truth in something that tells it's follows it's okay . We are very moral people but we have our own not" the society morals " ( ENFP) how do you cope with some of relegions morals not being what you believe ?
@@لبيبةنهى but it's not truth to me unless it says we must stop eating animals? . Look at this Virsus ! Because people abuse animals we all must suffer .
@@ibbiehart3792 If we assume that it is from eating animals,then it is from eating bad ones. They eat everything without chosen; "only the good one for eating" as in Islam.
I can say with confidence as an ENFP that the easiest way to conquer depression is to quiet your Fi and to develop your Ti logic. This means expose yourselves to philosophies that ask you to look squarely at the facts of life, rather than how you feel about everything. Every ENFP should read some of the great stoic works of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, or Seneca. They've saved my butt a million times. Stoicism tells us to realize what is in our control and what is not in our control. Stoicism tells us to briefly tie down the sails of our ship, instead of letting the winds of our emotions carrying us from one problem to the next. I've been discouraged in my life, sometimes very discouraged, but never depressed. I've been told by my mother several times she wishes I was dead, I've been abandoned by family, I've been so poor I've had to live without a car, completely by bus at some points, eating cold canned food day after day, lost a business, and yet I've never been depressed. Not happy certainly, but not defeated. I credit that success to philosophies that asked me to find clarity and truth, rather than immediate emotional comfort.
Very true. I was in a state of depression/coming-of-age, five years ago. It was crazy, exhausting, and things felt hopeless. I'm glad I came across self-help tips, essays, then ended up into philosophy and such. I guess it's luck and fate.
Now, I'm not a Buddhist, but its teachings definitely helped me navigate life better. I tried to follow Stoicism but it wasn't my cup of tea. But it has similarities to Buddhist teachings. And of course, MBTI and cognitive functions 'studies' helped too.
What I essentially get from your point in trying to emphasise Ti over Fi is that we need to be more open-minded rather than self-dependant and reliant on our past experiences of comfort... so true 🙌🏼 we need to remember that we don’t have all the resolutions within us and that we are never alone nor is anything the end of everything (like our dramatic Fi likes to tell us again and again... “if I can’t have it all/ know it all, I’m doomed!”... etc.”
Agree totally, and I'd chuck on Alan Watts too. His philosophies have definitely made me feel much more at peace with everything.
thank you ❣️
This approach has really helped me too. Like he said in the video, every single thing that happened to me was somehow a direct personal attack--and always my fault. It took awhile to grapple with the reality that these things weren't within my control. Quieting my emotions long enough for my brain to work first before processing the perceived "attack" was what I needed.
ENFP 4w5 - I was depressed for 20 years with CPTSD symptoms (anxiety, severe insomnia, withdrawal, rage, dissociation, etc). Very introverted. I didn't even realize I was an ENFP, I didn't think it was possible. A lot of people didn't realize how depressed I was, of course no one knew how crazy the inside of my mind/psyche really was. Others saw me as like a harsh ISTJ type of person, and it was so frustrating because in my heart I knew that's not the real me. Thank you for pointing out the ISTJ connection - I also think ENFPs go to being like an unhealthy/'dark' INFJ. I always mistyped as INFJ...Eric Thor has a good video about that that helped me understand why I was so serious, withdrawn and only wanting ultimate truth, no playfulness or joy. It's taking quite some time to rebuild a new me since I never had an identity as the open, happy ENFP since age 13 or so. Thanks for this video!
I've always been ENFP and for a few months thought I was 4w5, then briefly 5w4 and now I've realised I was totally wrong. I'm a 7w6 and embracing the negative 7 aspects (mainly weed abuse, video game over indulgence, and an apathy to the world) made me think I was in the 4 category. When I am at my best self I am a strong 7w6, who pursues the 5 traits (which is the growth arrow). This perception seems more accurate and more comforting to me, maybe you're in the same boat?
"Enneagram: The Difference Between 7w6 and 7w8" is a good explanation on youtube
"see this external reason?, this is one of the reasons you suck"
That went straight to my heart ...
Yeah. That self hate part is real. I can't even smoke weed because it intensifies so much it's almost like a doomed feeling.
Im sorry for you 😔
I don’t think you should smoke weed at all, it causes derealization and anxiety
I think you’re exactly right. I’m an ENFP; when I went through a bout of depression or the blues or whatever, I seemed more INTJ than my INTJ husband. And you’re also spot on about taking things personally and internalizing them. Thank you for the video! I hope that you have found a way to bring yourself back to the truth(that you are a valuable person) when you get down. Let your light shine! Take care and God bless.
I have been flip flopping between the typical ENFP that is bouncy fun animated and somewhat down in the dumps and bored. When I am out and busy I turn into the healthier version of the ENFP. At home I become bored, listless and prone to ruminating thoughts. It's been ongoing now for a few years.
Its surprising how quickly this flips back and forth. I know if I were to have something to do and go out with a friend I would change up almost immediately. Left to myself ...blah. I would not call it depression in the clinical sense. I do not know what exactly to call, understimulation, lack of structure.
I feel ENFPs need a certain kind of daily structure to stay healthy, something that's been missing in my life for a few years now. I am not liking it.
Today bored as can be and browsing around the community being curious but really longing for real human connection.
I hope you are doing better now as this was recorded over a year ago.
(ENFP)
Oh my god I ve just found it now and this is so relatable. I'm at home for 7 days now and I just watch funny videos and procrastinate and feel bad about myself even tho I can't call myself depressed, It's just a lack of stucture, felt it so good
Oh how much I can relate to this. I feel like it has to do also with finding balance between spending time alone and being social and doing new and exciting things with other people. I can't deal too much time alone, it becomes a blub of nothing. I really feel like it has a lot to do with being honest with ourselves and about our needs. I feel like many perceived standards for what "good life" or time management or maintaining habits / household chores etc. has been giving us signals that we do things the wrong way or that we are in fact the wrong way. I find that it's important to learn to be kind to ourselves even if we don't reach the goals we set for ourselves and to become self aware of our strengths and weaknesses!
Hi there! ENFP here :) I’ve been depressed several times and once it lasted for 2 years. The thing with us is I think, when we are depressed for a long time, we tend to see that as a normal way of living so we conform to meet the standards of that life because we see ourselves as weird already and we don’t want to make things extra weird for our family or friends.
Another thing I want to mention is that you are right about hating ourselves. I find myself hating the fact that I’m a happy person, I see my idealistic view of life as insane, I start thinking that maybe the best would be for me to stop interacting with people because anything I say positive might not be positive for them and I will mess them up because of our strong ability to convince people into things (if this makes sense). I start obeying everything my friends and family tell ne to do because at that point I don’t feel competent to even have an opinion about anything because I’m not a very realistic person. So it’s just a long long foggy period for us. Anyways, what I found most useful in these situations is to travel and to hang on to a buddy that really gets you and supports you whatever you do. I think that every time we get out of depression is like being reborn. So you need to give it a proper amount of time and just watch, read and accept things that are positive, and filled with love. I watch Disney movies in those moments because they give me this idea of things being worth fighting for and the feeling that there is a lot of love out there. So I start feeling better.
I know this is long, and I have so much more to say about this but I hope this all makes sense to somebody. 😄💜
travelingsoul thanks man! This helped and this video helped
I was depressed In past year but now idk if i am depressed or not buttt i am now want to be pro volleyball player i am not taking things personally anymore now i am focus In becoming better person and make people stand out by themselfs idk if that is the right way but i do most of things right and i am not hurting people that much
this made big ass sense to me, thank you
I tend to listen to songs and watch anime
I feel as an enfp like i just cant get anything right. Like im this super annoying person that just looks dumb all the time and my personality is a joke.i feel like i often make jokes out of every situation to make sure i don't get hurt or take things too personally. I have 2 kids and i feel like my life is chaotic because im constantly trying to claw at anything that can help me get more money to make sure my family is taken care of and is happy. Sometimes things don't work out for the best and my spontaneous behavior is just making things worse. I don't know how to deal with myself and its frustrating. I have an enfj bf and hes constantly judging my behavior and pointing out my flaws which is helpful but i feel like im being FORCED to pay close attention to myself and how i behave. Im sad because i dont believe enfps are the light. I feel like we are annoying clowns. Id rather be an introvert.
You're not an annoying clown. You have amazing superpowers that other types could only dream of: amazing empathy, creativity, open-mindedness, and genuine positivity. But sometimes you just have to concentrate on other boring, every day things and issues, and if you don't, you'll get into huuuuge trouble. Read a lot about Si and how to develop it. Get organized and realistic. Be thankful for your personality--when you learn to channel and focus it at the right time, you'll be happy you're yourself. Good luck.
You just described me in a nutshell. I feel the exact same way. Honestly I've been trying so hard to change my viewpoint but I've gotten to the point where I think I'm getting used to my meds. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I hate feeling like this. I'd really rather be istp or an nt type. My personality is so unlikable to me
@@user-rj9ft8cq3v Hi there ♥️ thanks for sharing your heart. I don’t know everything you’re going through, but just wanted to leave some encouragement that you were made with a purpose. You are not a joke and you were designed to feel and create and encourage and love and also to be loved. Please take some time soon to let someone you trust know how you feel and what you’re going through. God bless you with peace. - A fellow ENFP ♥️
@@OkieGab I'm so sorry I didn't respond earlier I didn't even see your reply. But that means so much to me.. Thank you for your kind words 💙💙
It amazes me how someone who has never spoken to me can make me feel so understood and connected to them. I just want to shine✨💡 it’s funny how you said it comes in waves. I have the pleasure of mothering the funniest most loving 5year old and her enthusiasm in her story telling about how she saw a giant dog and a little dog in love when she was picking only the “yummy pecans” with her grandma brings me to tears❤️ both sad and happy.
I want to pick yummy pecans with her too but instead I’m at a job that is corrupting my soul and causing me to self sabotage because of how unappreciated I feel. Yeah, I think I just decided to quit and I’m E*X*C*I*T*E*D about it instead of overwhelmed with foreign anxiety about leaving my comfort zone. This was food for my soul at 5am. And I think ima start a RUclips channel too.
Much love to you. I love you and it’s probably because you are me 😌🤞🏽 let’s go shine my love ✨💕
P.s. I watched you feeling kinda off, and I leave you feeling animated and validated and reminded of why I love who I am. Again, much love ! 🥰
remember: if you have a potential, there's definitely someone who needs it. never stop listening to what your heart tells. i will be interested if you had videos on your channel :) I am an INFJ and I am interested in ENFPs ;)
ENFP should follow the lead of The Fool in tarot. In fact, The Fool's Journey is perfect for lead intuitives. Like he said, you gotta dump society's standards and do that shadow work. Or just read a course in miracles, that cured my depression during the pandemic. No more meds, thank god
I'm a little late to this video, but I'll leave my two cents anyway. Hi, I'm an ENFP too, and I soooo felt you (hope you are doing better by now?) I've been in "shallow" depressive episodes for the last 6 years, and a lot of what you said rings true to me. When I'm in it, the feeling of guilt weighs heavily on me. I've felt so bad for not being there more for my friends, felt so self-absorbed and useless. I still often feel guilty, for not contacting my friends more (even though I still contact them more, than they me). I selfsabotage a lot, and until I saw this video I always asked myself "Why do I do that? Why do I do whats wrong, when I know what would help me right now?" and i explained it with "Well the depression doesn't leave you any energy, to do the good things" (Which is a sad excuse) but I guess, it might be that I create the reasons for feeling bad, so I can understand why I feel bad, because, as you say, otherwise it's CHAOS. I am, maybe a little untypical for ENFP, as much emotional as I am rational (had to become to cope) I can switch gears very easily, which I probably developed to cope with stress. But this rational side always feel cold to me and I literally had to sit the two sides (emotions and rationality) down in therapie to get them to talk it out and work together. One thing that helped me cope with my immense Weltschmerz (feeling the pain of the world) (also HSP, hi), was turning to nihilism - which I can NOT recommend for ENFPs, because it questions all ideals, all strive, the usefulness of trying. so don't do that. I do find solace in the knowing, that everything will end, and in the grand scheme of things, we are utterly unimportant. But as I am an ENFP I very much struggle with this too, because I want to create, I want to move, I want things to change! And I want to believe in the good in people and the possibility of things changing for the better. SO what actally helps me, when I am down in the black hole of depression, and MIGHT help fellow ENFPs struggleing with depression: Even if I don't feel it, i TRY to meet people who I know love me, because that gives me comfort, sometimes even energy. I tend to become extremely introverted, when I'm depressed, so I can't stand big groups of people, but meeting with a VIP in my life (and getting jolly drunk together) helps me to go back to me happy, engaged, idea-creating, discussing and loving self, and reminds me, how nice life and people can be. If I am too depressed for that, I talk to my best friend, she is an INFJ, and knows me very well. I can go through my feelings and thoughts with her, just processing it, while she asks good questions and listens and supports me. We ENFPs tend to have a good handful of people in our lifes (I don't know about you, but I cherry pick my friends very carefully -> people with deep abyssess in their souls, because even if I don't travel much (no monnnnneyyy) I like to explore the human psyche very much). So try to make use of them. We are usually very good friends, my friends often come to me for advise and moral support, so they are usually quite glad, when they can return the favour for ones, although they might be schocked about how deeply dark we get, when they are used to our funny and carefree exterior. Second thing that helps me: sport, get those endorphines rolling! I don't know about you, I have a really hard time to relax, so I need to release tension while doing something, be that yoga, cycling, swimming + Sauna. I can't relax, if I'm not powered out. Also NATURE - no place better to unwind, look at the trees, hear the rumbling river, get inspired and open up the mind again. What also helps me is fun. Now i gotta be honest, my depression as stolen any sense of what is fun to me for very long, so I am rediscovering things sometimes, like boardgaming, crafting, (not a long list as of yet) but maybe try to think back to what gave you joy, and try to lose yourself in that again. What also worked wonders for me was meditation, balancing out the mind. It makes me able to look outward again. Sometimes, I get so caught up with me own depression, it helps me to focus entirely on others, to fell that connection again. Maybe go do some charity work, it can put things in perspective. Okay, this has gotten out of hand. One last thing: I don't know about you, but I felt very bad about going to therapy first, because I thought I should be able to get myself out of it, that I wasn't feeling bad enough to deserve therapy. that is BS. If you feel depressed, mildly or severely, constantly or on and of. You deserve to be happy. Therapy helped me a lot. you are not alone, and you don't need to go through this on your own. Get professional help. Because as we heard in the video: Depressed ENFPs are black holes when they could be shining like stars (or lightbulbs) Love you, bye.
Thank you so much
I was typed as an INFP (Reddit lol) but listening to you talk makes me feel so understood. I feel like your take is what I need right now. So, ENFP, INFP, whatever. I just needed this today.
You are beautiful..inside and out.. and I am an enfp so you can know I mean it with all my heart
I too am struggling.... and honestly to hear you tell my heart.. makes me feel like I'm not alone? Like.. this isn't IT
As a more introverted ENFP I totally understood your predicament! How the depression comes and goes in waves, we start nitpicking, become cold, at times manipulative without even knowing it and distance ourselves from others.
I deal with it by reminding myself that it is just a phase and there’s light at the end of tunnel and taking it one day at a time as we always have our sense of optimism even on the darkest days this is what separates us from chronically depressed people. Also journaling and mediation or just talking to a loved one does a trick as it makes you realise that its only a little hitch in a bigger plan for us ENFP’s which is to just be happy
this video literally made me cry. thank you so much for making this.
I highly recommend doing (endurance) sports against depression. The moment I stop doing sports is the moment that blanket gets thrown over me. Sports keeps the demons out.
I'm an ENFP-T, so I tend to worry more than the stereotype of ENFPs anyway, but at certain times anxiety and depression are very crushing, and excitement about all the amazing possibilities feels very far away. When I don't have energy from seasonal depression (or my frustrating physical limitations), "quiet adventures" that don't mean anything are good, like finding new things on RUclips. Jigsaw puzzles and sudoku are activities that help me quiet my thoughts when depression happens, so thanks for pointing out the ISTJ connection w/ ENFP depression.
I am ENFP and resonate with all that you’ve said. For the past three months, I struggled with social anxiety because I was intentionally isolating myself from the world, I had anorexia and would criticise myself if I didn’t follow the strict diet I set out for myself to hit that weight goal, and I was depressed because I could not open up about it to anyone because everyone naturally expects me to be THEIR light, THEIR comfort, THEIR listening ear and THEIR shoulder to cry on. It felt scary being on the other side of the table. So true about the ultimate flip switch to ISTJ 👏🏼 this strong sense of apathy/ hopeless lack of passion just continues to grow out of control if not tackled, early on.
I’m an enfp and I feel so sad because I lost my bubbly side and I’m really trying to get back to my personality and yeah I think that’s because of my toxic friend 🥺 I feel soooo lonly right now
We can make it easy. So, when an enfp being depressed we're going to be infp until we didn't felt our depression again. I knew I felt like this before. And yes, when enfp or infp got depressed, we are VERY TRULY DEEPLY depressed. Bc we don't know how to explain our feelings to others, we just blame ourselves, and we end up being alone in our room to think and much think that makes our depressed soo much bigger
I appreciate this video, thank you so much
I need help. I'm ENFP and you just described my whole life. I'm gifted, first memory was at 2 1/2 years old. So get this. I show my ENFP side, my true self, and being reprimanded about "socially acceptable behavior " as a kid, still as an adult. I'm stuck. Unappreciated by my closest loved ones. Not cared for. Stuck. And nothing to let go because I refuse to change! I am a chatterbox, extrovert, joyful and adventurous dreamer/explorer! Why can't people let me be me?!!
Good video, thank you for sharing your insights :) It is nice to actually become aware that other ENFPs can also become depressed. I think you did a great job in terms of reminding me/us ENFPs here what we really are and how we think/act 😊 I liked the metaphor of lightbulb and black hole even though it kinda hit me at the time I heard it first. Anyway, thanks!
I know i am a bit late to this party as well, However, While I heard light bulb and black hole, All i felt was starlight, And Black holes. It, felt, surprisingly comforting, that some one else could put it to words in such an open way, thank you.
'Casual Depression'
Yes.
Oh my gosh! I have been aware of the MBTI for about 20 years. I have just recently been prompted to dig deeper to understand (I met my first INFJ and was shocked at the instant “magic” in this friendship). I’ve been watching a mountain of videos and I enjoy most. Having said that, after watching just two of your videos, I feel like you’re writing my story! (More or less). Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I’m subscribing and looking forward to binging! 😁
This video came to me in the right moment of my life, I am also an ENFP was very optimistic most of my life trying my hardest to make things work but at some point my wife got tired about me trying to make things happen and not having enough results, at some point she started to be really mean and harsh to me some times, we broke up and came back few times in the past years, this last time seems to be definitive and I've got into depression worse than ever in my life, I'm trying to overcome this feeling but it is very hard 💔😞
Enfp getting old alone lost losing hope and becoming cynical.
MATE
first of all thank you so much for this video and other videos
SECOND, YOU HAVEN'T POSTED IN TWO YEARS ARE YOU OKAY??????
Spot on! For a year or so I was a black hole and now I am back to being a beam of light! Take care fellow ENFP :) Love from Riga!
Feeling this. The weight of those things on my to-do list are sometimes so so heavy and I just want them done.
Your video is really interesting, I'm so happy actually to have someone say this. I can totally relate, I was thinking to myself that i was acting more like an ISTJ, and so I questioned my identity. Also bc I felt like I was boring and therefore, not likeable enough, I was like just a snail, and anyway I didn't want to please or make an effort to be funny. This is strange bc you don't understand your old self and your whole world collapses
Just now finding this video. Thank you for all your honest words. They helped immensely!
Courage my friend! Fellow ENFPfrom France!
You were so right on about everything I've experienced. Thanks for sharing. Validating and Refreshing :)
What you said is what I've had quite a hard time to articulate. I hope you are doing amazing buddy... Nothing is the same without your little spark.
Thanks for the video it was helpful i felt like there was a void in my soul for soo long but now i know the consequences of living as my shadow self i wish you the best have a ritch full life
Thank you so much. You did help. I hope you are feeling much better now.
God bless you :)
Thank you. Seriously, thank you.
I relate as an ENFP...
INFJ here.. so true about the ENFP I was encountered with. She is stuck in her Si... I tried to make her see her suppressed Fi and Ne where her growth is. I hope the seeds I planted one day grow up and she glow radiant in her own functional stack. She is a human golden retriever, it's painful to see her in pain that she herself unable to recognise.
Enfp I have been here too it's really hard.
Thank you. I kinda feel better when you said, "Depression isn't you. Depression isn't us." Because I lost so many friends due to depression and some of them called me "selfish" which I believed even though I was trying to be selfless and make everyone happy. Things never get better, but I'm getting used to it, and I know how to deal with them better. Still feeling suicidal sometimes tho. But I'll take my time and I'll be ok. I hope you're ok too.
What helped me several times when I hit rock bottom was to write down every day what was good about the day and what/who I am grateful for. No matter how small the things are: the sun rising, being alive, having had something to eat, a bird that sang, something I smiled about. Over time this always makes me feel better because I start to focus on other simpler aspects of life that are more positive than the thought spiral before. I usually do that at night but whichever time is fine.
Someone also said "we are not our feelings we are what watches them come and go".
Hope you'll feel better soon.
@@CURLY507HEAD Thank you 😊 You make me feel better
Brilliant video, I loved the heart to heart style, thank you 🙏
Im in this since my childhood but since my separation with a Pn 2 years ago and lost my job on february, i am in a bad vicious circle, fortunately i have the guitar, piano, singing, sports, diy, but it 's the first time that it last that way.
I m strong but i feel so lonely and cry everyday i sometimes want to die.
I cannot because of my little boy 😓
I have also to fight with my ex for the somethings and in these cases you see how much you are alone.
Because everybody don't understand you
I feel the perversity in people i cannot mind of beginning a new relationship in love i cannot trust anyone at the moment.
Being an ENFP myself i could relate to this content. What could be more depressing than a situation where an enfp gay guy is sincerely in love with an istp straight guy? Added to that are the discriminations faced by enfp for being different over long years with no proper family love etc?
But I have found my consolation & strength in Spirituality - specifically the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Naming all our worries and identifying it with the wounds of Sacred heart and offering our deppression to the Agonized Heart of Jesus at Gethsamane and the sweat-blood that He shed had really helped me to get out of deppression and suicidal thoughts. There is no greater consolation in knowing that our sufferings do have a value.
Praying for all fellow Enfps undergoing various pains in their lives. Amen.
wow, I needed to watch this. thank you so much so so much
Im doing what I want still im depressed.
I seriously don't know how to feel joy anymore 😕
I just don't actually care , I just want to numb myself
amazing video - super insightful. ty!
i guess that i'm in depression for almost 10 years. i have been mystyped a lot i know that i'm an ENFP but i really don't know who i am. or maybe how can i live a live being who i am. i'm not only depressed, i'm poor, i don't get a job, and i have no time or energy for "dreaming"
I have more as anxiety and feeling lonely as an enfp and I dislike it very much.
thank you so much, this helped me rationalize my confusing induviduation 🙏
This really really helped me. Thank you
Me too Abigail xx
Thanks, it helps me a lot ♥️
Well I needed this today! Thank you!
Thank You, wishing U the best...
Thank you so much for this video you are so relatable when you speak the truth. I find as an ENFP when I fall I fall but when I get back up I shine again. I have found that personally using essential oils has helped me in so many ways when I go through these stages.
Thank you! Love to you! 💕💜💕
Thank you for this video so much
those lightbulbs can become a black hole :((
As a ENFP I can extremely relate
Wow, I just realized I am kinda depressed because I have no drive or passion so I focus on goals... All my lovely friends are away and I am feeling super lost and just sticking to character building and goals... But not for long! Strength to all struggling amazing enfps!!!
This is so true!
Thank you!
i'm in love with you :')
I am In this right now
Coeur sur toi!
Yeah, but it is impossible to not just validate but even feel what you really want if you are in that helpless state of a black hole. How???
Ala gracias 💕
So relatable
so true
Relatable
From Enfp:
I share with you this;
Any problem we face it is about our system values.
That mean, we need to fixe it.
Islam = Quran, try to know about it,
Only try, & tell me the result.
💜
With islam you will feel you are a live.
This is it the difference,With it or with out it.
It is huge. You will be happy & comfortable.& successful
You see I struggle with religion because it doesn't align, with my personal values . I KNOW it's evil to kill and eat an animal so I can't see any truth in something that tells it's follows it's okay . We are very moral people but we have our own not" the society morals " ( ENFP) how do you cope with some of relegions morals not being what you believe ?
@@ibbiehart3792 have you ever try to know about Quran, Quran is very deep and give us truth that we need.
@@لبيبةنهى but it's not truth to me unless it says we must stop eating animals? . Look at this Virsus ! Because people abuse animals we all must suffer .
@@ibbiehart3792 you mean corona?
@@ibbiehart3792 If we assume that it is from eating animals,then it is from eating bad ones.
They eat everything without chosen; "only the good one for eating" as in Islam.