I’m an ENFP who is making friends with an ISFJ, and never call her because I want her to call when it’s convenient for her. Tonight she said it’s over. Well, I was thinking about her, but I think she felt ignored. I’m guessing she wouldn’t communicate her feelings and just kept getting angry without telling me. Makes sense based on your observations. I used to give her Russian heirloom tomato from my garden but it’s winter now. So I need to do more practical things, now I know. I can’t take flowers because her coworker will tease her. I hope we can work it out, but I’m also willing to cut my losses if that is the reason. Now after watching this, I understand it’s a guessing game with ISFJ, getting a direct true feeling is like asking a hundred questions and seeing them dodge the question, it seems the more they deny, you have hit the truth. That’s my experience with three other ISFJ’s. But I like the organize strength of ISFJ, it’s easy to feel like they think I’m total idiot, and I feel like sometimes I need to talk myself up to remind them, well I’m former university professor, even though now I paint and don’t sell anything. And yes, I quit my job to follow a romantic partner that left me later, because that’s how I roll. Not so practical. Thanks so much. I’m probably just infatuated with this woman. I thought we were cool till we weren’t… glad I found this. It’s help me a lot. Thanks friend.
Hey, thanks for the video ;) As in ISFJ I can say something about when there is some problem but I don't say anything at the moment and start the converstion later. I hear a lot of those "why didn't you tell earlier??". I guess it is because I tend to see more of the good and bright side of situations and other people and it is sometimes hard for myself to identify whats the problem is. Even though I intuitively feel that something it's not alright. Later, after some situations I can tell that my intuition was right but at that moment I am always doubting that and don't want to cause drama. And also I am not so spontaneous and need more time to proceed unexpected things. It is natural for ISFJs to analyse later about what had been said. Maybe it will help you to understand more your ISFJ friends ;))
I’m glad you decided to upload this even though you were tired!! ENFP female here and there’s a lot that I would love for you to unpackage even further and with more actual examples. The part I’m going to listen to at least a couple more times is this whole pattern with the ISFJ taking sooooo long to get back to me. I realize that as an ENFP, patience is not my greatest virtue. And I do actually understand that I SFJ need a lot more alone time to process. I asked my friend if they would be interested in doing something with me on Friday. I need an answer because it affects the planning. I believe I communicated this quite clearly. My guess is that they are no longer able to attend, because a schedule conflict came up, but they probably feel bad and don’t wanna tell me that they need to cancel -so they are waiting till the last minute to tell me: which is only going to make me more frustrated, I would rather know upfront!!
Im very happy you decided to post. I am ISFJ dating ENFP. She never seems to get around to doing what I suggest, even if it just benefits her. Very frustrating for me and I feel need to say something without sounding critical.... somehow.
Glad you liked the video, Kurt! ENFPs can ignore the logical reasoning behind things when their hearts are set on their own decision. ENFPs are Perceivers after all AND are extroverted thinkers, so their natural thinking or decision making process is very spontaneous and on the spot, and honestly the best way for an ENFP to learn and grow is to make mistakes, because otherwise they won't be convinced about a concept or an idea until they try *themselves*. I think for your ENFP girlfriend the best way you can support her is to be with her during the after math of her actions, I know that it takes a lot of patience, but trust me ENFPs can learn so much from just one single mistake. I wish you both happiness
+MBTeFi Thank you so much. I will take that to heart. Instead of trying to help her with any solutions I might come up with, I will help her recovering from her mistakes.
How to speak to an ENFP and direct their energy toward completion. 1: You are so good at so many things, what would be a good way for you to complete your project ? 2: What can I do to help you achieve your goals with this project ? Other ideas how can you frame something to make it fun for the ENFP. ENFPs can turn almost anything into a fun game. If you can do this for us you can set all the unfocused energy into focus. Basically communicate to your ENFP with a clear win win sense. ENFPs get stuck a lot which i know baffles everyone. Sometimes we get half way through something and we feel it's done but its not. I do this. Oh do not tell the ENFP you are doing this. Absolutely do not , they might smell a trap. Shhhh this is secret .... Also you have to be sincere in your wanting the ENFP to succeed when they are stuck. Incidentally if you can do this for the ENFP , they will love you to death. (ENFP)
Now I'm not dating ENFP anymore. Now it have started dating another. ISFJ like myself. Might be interesting. She just divorced her ex who also was ISFJ!
They’re a perfect match. ❤ They complement each other. There is a strong attraction towards each other. Isfj’s are looking for their soulmate too. Isfj’s are moralistic not completely stuck in the past. They are indeed open to change, but you have to prove it with facts, and patience. Enfp love helping people feel like they belong, that’s what the problem is for the Isfj’s. They forget to think about their needs sometimes. Isfj doesn’t mind the ideas of enfp’s, as long as they include humanity as a whole. And if they are mature ENFP’s, they might be mixed between an Esfj/ enfp. Enfp can be very giving too, if they are matured. These types are perfect together. 🤩 Isfj is an incredible listener, they love 💕 that the enfp helps them, to see, that their ideas, and feelings matter. Enfp is the most introverted Extravert. And Isfj’s are the most Extraverted introverts. Isfj’s are very intelligent and systematic. Because their introverted sensing is their top function. So they’re introverted, sensing, feeler thinker, judger types. Their feelings are rooted towards humanity as a whole. They’re a very great match. ENFP’s need stability and someone who cares. Isfj’s need people who won’t take advantage. ENFP’s are advocates for the underdogs. And what’s a bigger adventure; then living your life with the people that you 💕 love, who supports you?
Love this! I’m an ISFJ and my fiancé is an ENFP and we complement each other so well. He completely understands and is empathetic of my introversion and I’m so attracted and entertained by his extroversion. He challenges me in so many good ways. I was immediately drawn to his magnetic personality!
thabk you so much for making this video. i have an enfp friend but we are always misinterpreting and misunderstanding each other’s thoughts and feelings. this video actually helped me a lot and gave me clarity :)
I'm an ISFJ and I'm really happy to heard it, thank you so much. I think most part of the time its hard be an ISFJ because even with friends we are always wondering about what we will say to don't hurt others and be friendly all the time, I mean, we are always expecting a good reaction and thinking, oh, i should have said it, or, maybe I was too hard, we just think too much about everything all the time to make people around us more confortable and happy, and I have to admit that is always hard be honest with anyone, because we want to make people happy, even if we have to hide our real opinion about it. I think most part of the time be an ISFJ makes me sad because people don't understand trully this side that is always wondering about others, they think it's not something natural, or that we are expecting something in return for our kindness. Sometimes I'm glad because I'm a person that want to change the world with my ideas and my way of take care of everyone, not being a leader, just trying to help someone that needs me, and at this time even if I'm in trouble I'll left all my problems beside to help someone that I think that need my support
Wow, so relatable! ISFJ here and it can be a lonely place to be in because we do deeply care about others and sometimes people just want us to be direct and “speak up” for ourselves but I get caught up in the right way to address an issue because of the care we have for others. We’re not doormats nor do we shy away from standing up for ourselves, it’s just we care even about how to be direct to others without the harshness and rudeness
This pairing can work, romantically, BUT (biiiig caveat…) it tends to work better later in life when both types have some maturity and can look outside themselves. It’s a more difficult pairing to make successful in early life (ie twenties) in part because there is a certain self awareness that is needed to help the isfj-enfp teamwork “work” without getting tripped up. But there can be serious gold in this pairing that can form the basis for an appreciation of each other that is deeper and richer than some other more obvious matching types. TLDR it works best in two people whose “edges” have been softened a bit. And who are willing to be patient and hear the other parties point of view. It takes some investment, but in the end, it’s well worth it. ❤
I have an ISFJ and I value a lot the time he spends listening to me and giving me his viewpoint. He might be very much traditional, but also adventurous, we even went to Thailand together and I couldn't ask for a better travel mate than him. I can't wait for the time we're no more in lockdown to go meet him and give him a big hug!!
I concur on several points that SFJs are better at harmonizing with us than many other types. I have one male ISFJ friend and he is the only male that is reasonable comfortable with emotional availability with me. He is very logical and grounded in ways that I am not. The only tricky part with S types I have noticed and in saying this what they offer and have far outweighs this one point. They often cannot follow us into deeper concepts, abstracted notions and ideas. In fact I find very few that can. I have heard INFJs mention this and it is called the Depth Divide. However the good they bring far outweighs this part that they don't have. It is really unreasonable of me to make all my friends fulfill all the different aspects of communication with others. It is better to have gratitude for what is there. The other thing I have noticed about ISFJ and I have seen this in the two I have known so far. It is a kind of funny aloofness that sometimes shows up. As if certain things you will never get close to them on. The wife of my ISFJ friend said "yes yes" when I mentioned it one day when we were talking and she knows him better than anyone. I saw this in another ISFJ friend as well. I cannot quite describe it exactly, done my best. It might be touching upon a very private place they are not comfortable to reveal. I think ISFJs are a good match for ENFPs in any type of connection. I also concur that TJs and TPs can at times be too abrupt for us with the exception of mature ENTPs. I would also suspect many T types would be uncomfortable with our often emotional regard for things they see no really connection with. I know many people support the ENFP/INTJ connection. I think this is one of the worst matches. (ENFP)
As an INFP I loved watching this. The way you talk, including the little smirks, is exactly the way I talk. I can tell that you think very deeply which makes it sometimes difficult to find the right words. I loved especially the last part where you sad that every INFP needs an ISFJ and vice versa because I agree. ISFJ’s keep us grounded and can help us achieve more since we are dreamy types with our heads in the clouds resulting in many unfinished projects. And what I feel the ISFJ can learn from us is to stand up for themselves and put some boundaries so people won’t take advantage of their sweet and always willing to help type of personality, many times on the cost of their own expense. I think for this reason INFP’s/ENFP’s feel protective over them.
ENFP dude here, 13 years married to we thought an ISTJ but for some reason recent tests came out ISFJ now. I think the word you were looking for earlier in your video was existential. Typical ENFP comment I know LOL. We are struggling. I believe after some thought and research that I have somehow slipped into my shadow mode at times, and I am not being my authentic self, flirting with depression with everything going on in the world. I also have my neglecting the spiritual side of my life which is very strong as an Orthodox Christian. I think possibly I have been caught into some kind of cycle I need to break out of.
Honestly from everything I've read and experienced with ISFJs and ENFPs, it is a very love/hate, hot/cold relationship. I'm an ENFP and I agree that the initial attraction is strong and instant with these two types. But they essentially value and want different things (opposites attracting), and ultimately this CAN be the downfall of the pairing. The bottom line is that ENFPs want to be adventurous without Si demon trying to bring us down... ISFJs are literally Si demons personified. Not only that but ENFPs value authenticity and full transparency, and ISFJs just tell you what you want to hear and that just burns me up. Like stop lying! I just feel like I can't believe what they say, because it's all a puff of hot air. I would much rather deal with a blunt rude person than a person basically lying to me. Last issue I have with the pairing is that ISFJs set a lot of boundaries around their physical well-being and balance, great, everyone should do that, this just can be a point of frustration for the ENFP who likes to be on the go. The ISFJ will not tolerate long nights out or packed weekends of visitors and entertaining, which ENFPs love! It can be a challenging pairing, but more power to anyone who can make it work 🥰
I have seen my isfj-t female cousin of mine very angry with her husband. She is very needy, very entitled, she rolls her eyes and my whole family has seen it. She gives to get!!!
Tertiary Ti/Demon Ti is the key difference. ISFJ appear more cerebral. Also I think in social situations in general I am more retracted and soaking on information I am getting and "organizing it", getting by Si. I fixate my view at a certain objects many times. An ESFJ would not be so inwards in a social interaction. ISFJ are very friendly as well but we don't go into that mode extremely unless required ib that situation. Also, ISFJs need a lot of alone time. And by a lot I mean A LOT. Hahahah
I’m an ENFP who is making friends with an ISFJ, and never call her because I want her to call when it’s convenient for her. Tonight she said it’s over. Well, I was thinking about her, but I think she felt ignored. I’m guessing she wouldn’t communicate her feelings and just kept getting angry without telling me. Makes sense based on your observations. I used to give her Russian heirloom tomato from my garden but it’s winter now. So I need to do more practical things, now I know. I can’t take flowers because her coworker will tease her. I hope we can work it out, but I’m also willing to cut my losses if that is the reason. Now after watching this, I understand it’s a guessing game with ISFJ, getting a direct true feeling is like asking a hundred questions and seeing them dodge the question, it seems the more they deny, you have hit the truth. That’s my experience with three other ISFJ’s. But I like the organize strength of ISFJ, it’s easy to feel like they think I’m total idiot, and I feel like sometimes I need to talk myself up to remind them, well I’m former university professor, even though now I paint and don’t sell anything. And yes, I quit my job to follow a romantic partner that left me later, because that’s how I roll. Not so practical. Thanks so much. I’m probably just infatuated with this woman. I thought we were cool till we weren’t… glad I found this. It’s help me a lot. Thanks friend.
Hey, thanks for the video ;) As in ISFJ I can say something about when there is some problem but I don't say anything at the moment and start the converstion later. I hear a lot of those "why didn't you tell earlier??". I guess it is because I tend to see more of the good and bright side of situations and other people and it is sometimes hard for myself to identify whats the problem is. Even though I intuitively feel that something it's not alright. Later, after some situations I can tell that my intuition was right but at that moment I am always doubting that and don't want to cause drama. And also I am not so spontaneous and need more time to proceed unexpected things. It is natural for ISFJs to analyse later about what had been said. Maybe it will help you to understand more your ISFJ friends ;))
I’m glad you decided to upload this even though you were tired!! ENFP female here and there’s a lot that I would love for you to unpackage even further and with more actual examples. The part I’m going to listen to at least a couple more times is this whole pattern with the ISFJ taking sooooo long to get back to me. I realize that as an ENFP, patience is not my greatest virtue. And I do actually understand that I SFJ need a lot more alone time to process. I asked my friend if they would be interested in doing something with me on Friday. I need an answer because it affects the planning. I believe I communicated this quite clearly. My guess is that they are no longer able to attend, because a schedule conflict came up, but they probably feel bad and don’t wanna tell me that they need to cancel -so they are waiting till the last minute to tell me: which is only going to make me more frustrated, I would rather know upfront!!
Im very happy you decided to post. I am ISFJ dating ENFP. She never seems to get around to doing what I suggest, even if it just benefits her. Very frustrating for me and I feel need to say something without sounding critical.... somehow.
Glad you liked the video, Kurt!
ENFPs can ignore the logical reasoning behind things when their hearts are set on their own decision. ENFPs are Perceivers after all AND are extroverted thinkers, so their natural thinking or decision making process is very spontaneous and on the spot, and honestly the best way for an ENFP to learn and grow is to make mistakes, because otherwise they won't be convinced about a concept or an idea until they try *themselves*.
I think for your ENFP girlfriend the best way you can support her is to be with her during the after math of her actions, I know that it takes a lot of patience, but trust me ENFPs can learn so much from just one single mistake.
I wish you both happiness
+MBTeFi Thank you so much. I will take that to heart. Instead of trying to help her with any solutions I might come up with, I will help her recovering from her mistakes.
How to speak to an ENFP and direct their energy toward completion.
1: You are so good at so many things, what would be a good way for you to complete your project ?
2: What can I do to help you achieve your goals with this project ?
Other ideas how can you frame something to make it fun for the ENFP. ENFPs can turn almost anything into a fun game. If you can do this for us you can set all the unfocused energy into focus.
Basically communicate to your ENFP with a clear win win sense. ENFPs get stuck a lot which i know baffles everyone. Sometimes we get half way through something and we feel it's done but its not. I do this.
Oh do not tell the ENFP you are doing this. Absolutely do not , they might smell a trap. Shhhh this is secret .... Also you have to be sincere in your wanting the ENFP to succeed when they are stuck. Incidentally if you can do this for the ENFP , they will love you to death.
(ENFP)
Now I'm not dating ENFP anymore. Now it have started dating another. ISFJ like myself. Might be interesting. She just divorced her ex who also was ISFJ!
They’re a perfect match. ❤ They complement each other. There is a strong attraction towards each other. Isfj’s are looking for their soulmate too. Isfj’s are moralistic not completely stuck in the past. They are indeed open to change, but you have to prove it with facts, and patience. Enfp love helping people feel like they belong, that’s what the problem is for the Isfj’s. They forget to think about their needs sometimes. Isfj doesn’t mind the ideas of enfp’s, as long as they include humanity as a whole. And if they are mature ENFP’s, they might be mixed between an Esfj/ enfp. Enfp can be very giving too, if they are matured. These types are perfect together. 🤩 Isfj is an incredible listener, they love 💕 that the enfp helps them, to see, that their ideas, and feelings matter. Enfp is the most introverted Extravert. And Isfj’s are the most Extraverted introverts. Isfj’s are very intelligent and systematic. Because their introverted sensing is their top function. So they’re introverted, sensing, feeler thinker, judger types. Their feelings are rooted towards humanity as a whole. They’re a very great match. ENFP’s need stability and someone who cares. Isfj’s need people who won’t take advantage. ENFP’s are advocates for the underdogs. And what’s a bigger adventure; then living your life with the people that you 💕 love, who supports you?
Love this! I’m an ISFJ and my fiancé is an ENFP and we complement each other so well. He completely understands and is empathetic of my introversion and I’m so attracted and entertained by his extroversion. He challenges me in so many good ways. I was immediately drawn to his magnetic personality!
thabk you so much for making this video. i have an enfp friend but we are always misinterpreting and misunderstanding each other’s thoughts and feelings. this video actually helped me a lot and gave me clarity :)
I'm an ISFJ and I'm really happy to heard it, thank you so much. I think most part of the time its hard be an ISFJ because even with friends we are always wondering about what we will say to don't hurt others and be friendly all the time, I mean, we are always expecting a good reaction and thinking, oh, i should have said it, or, maybe I was too hard, we just think too much about everything all the time to make people around us more confortable and happy, and I have to admit that is always hard be honest with anyone, because we want to make people happy, even if we have to hide our real opinion about it. I think most part of the time be an ISFJ makes me sad because people don't understand trully this side that is always wondering about others, they think it's not something natural, or that we are expecting something in return for our kindness. Sometimes I'm glad because I'm a person that want to change the world with my ideas and my way of take care of everyone, not being a leader, just trying to help someone that needs me, and at this time even if I'm in trouble I'll left all my problems beside to help someone that I think that need my support
I am totally with you.
That describes me.
Wow, so relatable! ISFJ here and it can be a lonely place to be in because we do deeply care about others and sometimes people just want us to be direct and “speak up” for ourselves but I get caught up in the right way to address an issue because of the care we have for others. We’re not doormats nor do we shy away from standing up for ourselves, it’s just we care even about how to be direct to others without the harshness and rudeness
This pairing can work, romantically, BUT (biiiig caveat…) it tends to work better later in life when both types have some maturity and can look outside themselves. It’s a more difficult pairing to make successful in early life (ie twenties) in part because there is a certain self awareness that is needed to help the isfj-enfp teamwork “work” without getting tripped up. But there can be serious gold in this pairing that can form the basis for an appreciation of each other that is deeper and richer than some other more obvious matching types.
TLDR it works best in two people whose “edges” have been softened a bit. And who are willing to be patient and hear the other parties point of view. It takes some investment, but in the end, it’s well worth it. ❤
I have an ISFJ and I value a lot the time he spends listening to me and giving me his viewpoint. He might be very much traditional, but also adventurous, we even went to Thailand together and I couldn't ask for a better travel mate than him. I can't wait for the time we're no more in lockdown to go meet him and give him a big hug!!
I'm an Enfp and to be honest I just watch your Vida cause I think you are pretty :'3
You are pretty too Fragulas!
I concur on several points that SFJs are better at harmonizing with us than many other types. I have one male ISFJ friend and he is the only male that is reasonable comfortable with emotional availability with me.
He is very logical and grounded in ways that I am not.
The only tricky part with S types I have noticed and in saying this what they offer and have far outweighs this one point. They often cannot follow us into deeper concepts, abstracted notions and ideas. In fact I find very few that can. I have heard INFJs mention this and it is called the Depth Divide. However the good they bring far outweighs this part that they don't have. It is really unreasonable of me to make all my friends fulfill all the different aspects of communication with others. It is better to have gratitude for what is there.
The other thing I have noticed about ISFJ and I have seen this in the two I have known so far. It is a kind of funny aloofness that sometimes shows up. As if certain things you will never get close to them on. The wife of my ISFJ friend said "yes yes" when I mentioned it one day when we were talking and she knows him better than anyone. I saw this in another ISFJ friend as well. I cannot quite describe it exactly, done my best. It might be touching upon a very private place they are not comfortable to reveal.
I think ISFJs are a good match for ENFPs in any type of connection.
I also concur that TJs and TPs can at times be too abrupt for us with the exception of mature ENTPs. I would also suspect many T types would be uncomfortable with our often emotional regard for things they see no really connection with. I know many people support the ENFP/INTJ connection. I think this is one of the worst matches.
(ENFP)
As an INFP I loved watching this. The way you talk, including the little smirks, is exactly the way I talk.
I can tell that you think very deeply which makes it sometimes difficult to find the right words.
I loved especially the last part where you sad that every INFP needs an ISFJ and vice versa because I agree. ISFJ’s keep us grounded and can help us achieve more since we are dreamy types with our heads in the clouds resulting in many unfinished projects. And what I feel the ISFJ can learn from us is to stand up for themselves and put some boundaries so people won’t take advantage of their sweet and always willing to help type of personality, many times on the cost of their own expense.
I think for this reason INFP’s/ENFP’s feel protective over them.
My crush is an enfp and am an isfj .. we've been communicating fir a while, am searching around to know if our types are match cuz i really like him😔
ENFP dude here, 13 years married to we thought an ISTJ but for some reason recent tests came out ISFJ now. I think the word you were looking for earlier in your video was existential. Typical ENFP comment I know LOL. We are struggling. I believe after some thought and research that I have somehow slipped into my shadow mode at times, and I am not being my authentic self, flirting with depression with everything going on in the world. I also have my neglecting the spiritual side of my life which is very strong as an Orthodox Christian. I think possibly I have been caught into some kind of cycle I need to break out of.
Are you saying it's because of the ISFJ in your life that is causing you to slip into your shadow and feel depressed?
Honestly from everything I've read and experienced with ISFJs and ENFPs, it is a very love/hate, hot/cold relationship.
I'm an ENFP and I agree that the initial attraction is strong and instant with these two types. But they essentially value and want different things (opposites attracting), and ultimately this CAN be the downfall of the pairing. The bottom line is that ENFPs want to be adventurous without Si demon trying to bring us down... ISFJs are literally Si demons personified. Not only that but ENFPs value authenticity and full transparency, and ISFJs just tell you what you want to hear and that just burns me up. Like stop lying! I just feel like I can't believe what they say, because it's all a puff of hot air. I would much rather deal with a blunt rude person than a person basically lying to me. Last issue I have with the pairing is that ISFJs set a lot of boundaries around their physical well-being and balance, great, everyone should do that, this just can be a point of frustration for the ENFP who likes to be on the go. The ISFJ will not tolerate long nights out or packed weekends of visitors and entertaining, which ENFPs love! It can be a challenging pairing, but more power to anyone who can make it work 🥰
Omg! Trueee🥰
subscribed
This is the best!! 🙌👏👏👏🎇
I want to meet an Enfp male. We are fascinating, I think.
Isfj just wont go out of their comfort zone, something enfo dont like
What do you think about the ISFJ+INFP relationship
I think that there are some mutual points of the ENFP +ISFJ relationship right ?
ISFJ + INFP/ENFP is a relationship that I think is affectionate but needs some pretty serious work. Especially ENFP + ISFJ.
I have seen my isfj-t female cousin of mine very angry with her husband. She is very needy, very entitled, she rolls her eyes and my whole family has seen it. She gives to get!!!
Very interesting. You say isfjs ressonate with emotions but don't generate them...but don't we all generate haha🙃
Would say ISFJs can be judgmental
Am I the only one that can't tell the difference between ISFJ's and ESFJ's? they are the same to me.
Tertiary Ti/Demon Ti is the key difference. ISFJ appear more cerebral. Also I think in social situations in general I am more retracted and soaking on information I am getting and "organizing it", getting by Si. I fixate my view at a certain objects many times. An ESFJ would not be so inwards in a social interaction. ISFJ are very friendly as well but we don't go into that mode extremely unless required ib that situation. Also, ISFJs need a lot of alone time. And by a lot I mean A LOT. Hahahah
I think esfj is less homebodyish. Isfj just want to chill at home for fun.
Gemma L i can isfjs are worse esfj are more fun and less stuck in their ways but they both are a lot a like
isfjs are boring esfj’s can be boring but more willing to have fun and be up for whatever
@@theogtenyafan I’m an ISFJ and yes I totally agree. I consider myself an extroverted introvert.