actually, as an enfp, when I detect an issue, whether I can recognize what it is or not, I become very pensive, and I don't tend to emerge from this state until I can recognize what is wrong, and what to do about it.
i agree. i disagree with her assumption that all enfp's "push their problems under rocks" and dont acknowledge that there is something wrong. i think one of the greatest strength of an enfp is that we recognize when we may be wrong or have an issue and we WANT to change and grow.
@@yjxx thank God. For a minute there, I was spiralling into the bottomless pit of self doubt and accusing myself of being the most vicious person. I don't know why it took reading your comment for me to realize that I could not relate probably because I am a healthy ENFP😂
I am an ENFP!! I some unhealthy things I do are: when I am sad (not all the time) I am VERY sad. My emotions are craaazy sometimes. I also feel that I am too clingy...
As an ENFP, I've been through this all my life, and it feels amazing to hear someone put it in words..and to know that others know what this is like.. thank you
Fuck. This hit close. I didnt realized I was ENFP until today, and well I live in Monterrey Mexico where traditionally people are very strong-worded, very friendly but at the same time very critical and even rude. So being a male ENFP here constantly feels like being oversensitive, I've felt the need to hide my true self behind "cool and strong" behaviors such as making out with girls at clubs, aiming to be liked by assholes and consecuencially pot and alcohol use. That last bit of being emotionally numb, hit me, because being in this kind of environment where people dont respect sensitivity or diversity of thinking (you would get heavily bullied and laughed at for being shy or vegan, or for being sensitive) really puts you off, makes you wanna run away or hide away from most people and generally puts you in a justified defensive state.
I just found out I'm an ENFP too after 7 months of thinking I was an INFP or INFJ. Now I understand why I couldn't decide between those 2, because I'm neither. I also withdrew at a young age and I self-isolate a lot, because of my strong Fi. But in other ways I can be very outgoing, in my personality at least, when I'm around people I'm not so timid or anything. I didn't realize ENFPs can potentially be HSP/empath types like myself. I thought they are all very extroverted, but no, I always considered myself an introvert. Now I know why being so isolated makes me so depressed...
You hit the nail on the head! I think one of the reasons unhealthy ENFPs will search for any social interaction, even if it's shallow, meaningless and doesn't support their moral system comes from being alone. When an unhealthy ENFP realizes that they're alone and feel that fear of being alone forever creep in, they're gonna do anything to get out of the isolation and not feel like that anymore. I was an unhealthy ENFP for a while (thanks to social anxiety, which got this started). What I realized was that when I was unbalanced I felt incredibly alone, no matter if I had friends or not. I moved into another city at the time which made this even harder. Making friends felt impossible, I couldn't rely on my social skills as I felt that I didn't have any/was boring, everybody hated me etc It made me feel lonely af and while I didn't manipulate people, I didn't stick to my opinion and moral system. I adjusted it to the other person in order to be liked, if somebody else had a different opinion I'd do the same. To others it must've seemed like I changed my opinion all the time and knowing I was contradictory didn't make my situation better at all Now that I've got my stuff sorted I what's right and wrong again & know about my strengths and weaknesses again (an unhealthy ENFP often seems to lose their sense of self)
I am an ENFP (through and through!) and you nailed this. Especially the part about wanting to be the most original person in the room 😂 I think your English is great. In my early 30s I am now trying to learn a second language (Spanish) and have a newfound respect for How. Hard. It. Is. Xx
so ...how can an ENFP break this vicious circle. ...i need help ....im always procrastinating everything and am always sad ........but as you said it in your video. . ....Everything is exactly as you described it ...right on the spot
I have gone into seclusion recently. I no longer see the point of interacting with others just to be ignored and friend dumped. I feel like whatever I do it fails. I do maintain some causual friends but there seems little meaning or connection with them. As a male I find other males unwilling to discuss meaning emotions or sensitives. I get that need met at times with women though that can lead to confusion about the status of the relationship. My therapist suggested I have a tendency to bring out the unresolved issues in others. It seems I am also quite empathic quite possibly at times unable to seperate my feelings from the feelings of others around me. To say I am confused is rather an understatement. I wonder if other ENFPs have gone through experiences which bring them up against such problems of deep misunderstandi, friendlessness forcing them into seclusion.
I am so with you on this and I have lost friends but with mixed reasons. I found myself in toxic friendships and relationships and it sucked because I loved everyone so much and I felt so betrayed. I tend to be pretty chill in friendships and such and I just got mowed over and THEN I secluded and ppl got mad.
Meee once a friend just didn't tell me this one very specific thing that was happening in her life and I also felt like she was very distant so I just lost it I almost cut all real close ties with all friends I felt like the reason i hurt was because I'm too emotionally attached to people and all the very successfull people I knew: people with good grades etc. Didn't seem like they were very emotionally attached to people so I figured I should do the same, the same friend (INFP) was so sorry for making me feel this way and begged me to stop thinking like this.
Thank you. I would say my most unhealthy habits as an ENFP are putting things off until the last minute especially if it involves a bad outcome with another person. For example, telling my wife about something important that I know will cause anger. Another one would include lack of focus. I believe you discussed the first somewhat in your video.
As an ENFP and a non-native English speaker, who uses English on a daily basis, I would just like to say: Thank you for this video. I love your way to express yourself and I gained much insight from watching it.
wow, i really appreciate this video. as an enfp, i relate to all of this. i've been really into mbti stuff lately after really identifying with my result. everyone i know that has taken it has gotten accurate results too, so i think it's extremely interesting. i especially love understanding my type, so videos like this from fellow enfps like you are awesome! also, i have to say your accent is amazing and, not to be "that guy", but you are extremely gorgeous! :)
As an enfp with some traumatic relationship stuff and betrayals behind me, I can totally relate. I mean like.. everything. I've been pushing back people, changed the continent and went traveling. Lots of shallow friendships, narcissistic tendencies and always expecting the worst while secretly hoping for the best. As usual, my (dark enfp) high moral standards couldn't be met under good conditions, even less being bitter and lonely. My biggest fear was being manipulative and that someone likeable would find out who I really was. Been single for like 7 years, barely any new friends. I've seen everything short of becoming suicidal.. Probably because I still believe I'm so goddamn important and somehow must have a higher purpose or a mission in life. Either way, been dating again.. 1 in a million love at first sight.. Her friends easily relate and become my friends as well. Harmonious family (not like mine lol), thy accepted me with all my shitty life and crazy dark ENFPness. been together for a year and a half now, living together and planning on settling down.. As Enfps you guys know how much it means to give up that freedom ;) You'll never believe that it'll get better.. Until it suddenly does. Love ya'll and love this channel :)
Sou mulher INFJ e nunca vi alguém relatar o mesmo sentimento que tenho. Ainda estou em processo de cura, mas também temo que meu futuro namorado ou marido, acabe descobrindo quem realmente sou, com meus defeitos e tudo, e queira pular fora... Também cresci em meio a uma família tóxica, mas creio que Deus vai me curar totalmente. Quero ser uma INFJ saudável não só para ser feliz e estar em paz comigo mesma, mas também para ser a melhor versão de mim para meu futuro amor.
I'm struggling with ADD and procrastinating and avoiding important things, can't get out of bed, beating myself up for it. I have no social life. Just really in a rut right now.
Tsk man It's so hard to change when you've been traumatized by a parent-abuser for 20 years. But I'm sure I'll heal. Back then in the past I used to often get infj results in my testing. Basically meaning I was constantly in a very dark depressed place. I now sometimes get Enfp-a or t depending on time and different situations. It's still very unstable for me.. Thank you for the info you providing sweet soul. It's very insightful.
I am an enfp with an istj. I have become an unhealthy enfp and I think because I have ignored so many issues in my past and tried not to feel for such a long time not knowing feeling is in my nature. I convinced myself to feel only meant hurt and pain. what is a depressed ENFP? I am seeing a psychologist now which is how I found out my personality type.
From what I understand ENFP's have the introvert trait but it's undeveloped because they don't use it often until they're stressed. So in other words in times of stress and despair they turn to an undeveloped personality trait to solve the problem so that causes more problems.
I'm an INTJ. This is my girlfriend (who is an ENFP) all over! You even have some over her mannerisms which she shows when she's uncomfortable (e.g. clasping your hands together and pulling them to your chest).
C'est bon! Thanks for the upload, it's especially refreshing how you describe it so intuitively.. I think that helps other enfp's internalize your analysis more quickly than most other videos.
Never knew I was an unhealthy enfp 🤯🤯 I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t realize how serious it’s getting but maybe this’s because I’m only 14 and I’m still figuring out life???
I'm a unhealthy ENFP since I was 14 (now I'm 20). You are right, you still figuring out life (me too). I wish you lucky and good decision. Procure be in a good place with good people, this is essential.
I went through a pretty unhealthy cycle not so long ago, I almost bailed on my vacation trip with my mom because I just didn't feel like DOING anything and even less something involving people. One of the things that helped me was connect with my senses by walking outside at night during a storm, alone ; it enabled me to FEEL something. Really, one of the worst fears of ENFPs besides being alone is not feeling anything, everything being dull and grey and meaningless.
My ENFP is friend is obsessed with maintaining shallow relationships and is extremely judgmental. I don't engage so much anymore because it's hard to watch. Disconnected energy usually is a trainwreck.
Your endless sweetness and kindness just lifted my hole mood. Wich was really important on this sad topic. I ended the video feeling understod and hopefull. Thank you very much. 🥰🎉
Your english was very good! I am an ENFP and I don't really see myself as unhealthy overall but I do suffer from some anxiety. I do notice that I do push problems away when I am stressed or anxious, I call this compartmentalizing my problems. I am trying to work on this because I recognize its a bad habit. You are so sweet! Thank you for your insightful video. :)
You just described me so perfectly......I was waiting with baited breath for the "solution" portion of the video. I'm am so" stuck" and have been for many years due to a relationship with an intj. But like you said I ignored it at first. I don't want to talk about it. And now I have started to change on the inside, and pull away from my friends. what do I do?
So I guess THAT's why I have to shoot down other people's ideas, cultures, and even tastes in music as "inferior" all the time, even since like high school or so lol Scars and hurts of "invalidation" since pre-teen years has left me subconsciously bitter and toxic I guess :/ I've also been more or less "alone" since teen years, and also struggled with addiction since around that time. There was even a time when I gave up feelings of "love" after 4th one-sided feelings since I was just angst-ing and moping over them, wasting time and energy - that ended up making me pretty much apathetic to life and feeling like I was barely holding everything together (school, house-keeping, self-economy, etc.) by a single thread. So I've pretty much been an unhealthy ENFP all my life, and now that my teen years' passions and energy fueled by hormones are long gone, I don't know how to get life back on track. I even recently got to the point where I don't find joy in most things anymore, just temporary "excitements" from moment to moment (food, meaningless games, mindless visual entertainment, etc.) No more dreams, no more hope, no more drive. Like, even gaming - I enjoy it in that moment, but only then. When I think of it at other times, I feel nothing. Same with food - feels more like a hassle than anything now. When I think "tomorrow," nothing excites me. And I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want, even the stuff I had been dreaming of in the past. My life has literally come to a full stop, with all the momentum dissipated. I need help, and I need it badly, and 2020 is the worst time to be needing it UGH
im a careless and numb enfp. Ive just been thru a lot and climbed mountains for people who couldn't care less about me any ways I stopped giving a fuck about anything and its been causing me problems lately help
I now notice this pattern.. I've been through it through my adolescence, almost ruined my life.. Now I am going through it again, beacause I am in a job that I hate.. Gotta leave that job, I am so unhappy..
+Cansın ENFP thanks for the reply, great video. It totally describes my ENFP friend, at first I didn’t even think that was his type because of all his anti-enfp characteristics.
Hey me too. However I was worse, but I started to read this book I abosulity recomand for anyone who is an enfp unhealthy it's call how to heal your life. Search Louise hay in youtube and listen to her everyday she is wonderful and if u need help let me know :) u got this
Hey guys, I'm an ENFP too. I can say that along with understanding myself, journaling, playing guitare/listening to music and physical training all help me, the ultimate help in my life is Jesus Christ. I know that you're immediate thought is something like 'here we go, another religious nut! But let me say that there really is hope, meaning, purpose and healing to be found in Him. Check this out and come to your own informed conclusion: www.christianityexplored.org/
Guess it's time for me to realign myself and get healthy. Thanks for making this video. It gave me some courage to fix what's been swept under the rug.
I believe my girlfriend is an ENFP and everything you said is happening right now. She's dealing with a lot of stressful life events and has become more distant. I'm trying to figure out how to help her through it and let her know she has my support. The tricky part is that I understand that ENFP's need space when they get in that space. In my past experience whenever a woman gets distant it always turned out that she was seeing someone else so I'm also worried about that.
Hey, fantastic video! A well thought out video, one which I found very useful. I was in a very bad place last year, and nearly all (fortunately not the last) happened to me! I would also add a bit to the "wanting to be alone" stage. For me, I would try and rationalise my want of loneliness by thinking of how things have and will go bad if im around others. Thank you for the insightful vid 😊
I'm infj, my mum and Nan ENFP.. dad INTP and nan's partner ENTJ I think.. my sisters ExFP.. brother is likely an INTJ and now he's not separated from me, he gives me the grounding I need just by being himself. My family is very dysfunctional, my dad and Nan have passed away.. they were so close and were like that overpowering figures in the family. I don't see my nan's partner, I've a feeling he had say in some or many of the poor choices my nan made maybe..Idk but going to get some autonomy soon hopefully so I won't have my mum breathing over my shoulder/ neck or being subjugated to things I don't wish to participate in or being put in spotlight I don't want to be in.
I'm an ENFP i don't know but sometimes if something bad or stressful happens maybe it doesn't affect me at first but after 3-4 days i start being depressed and crying in my dark room all the time.. Is this an ENFP thing?
I don't really understand what type I am, but I am an ambivert Intuitive..and idk why but I feel maybe I'm an enfp. Idk do enfp's have this urge to do EVERYTHING?? like, so many things interest them. And they wanna try everything so that they can be called v smart/creative/intelligent ie different from others. I've been having this extreeeeeemely and I feel like excelling alot of things, but it just feels v exhausting coz it's too much pressure. Does anyone relate?
INFP here. My best friend was an unhealthy ENFP, and she completely cut me out of her life. She would be manipulative, always needed to be seen as the most original person in the room, was an insomniac, serious issues with procrastination, would be obsessed with flirting with others, could only open herself up emotionally with copious amounts of alcohol, struggled with insecurity and self loathing, had this superiority complex that acting on her feelings (however impulsive they may be, such as cheating) could somehow be justified as just something in the moment and that she could do no wrong (or at least admit it), she kept finding herself in abusive and toxic relationships, and I was the only person who had the courage to be honest with her as I deeply cared about her well being and frankly, loved her. To this day, I still genuinely hope she finds happiness and clarity, but I fear that her insecurities and her ENFP tendencies will only cause her to push away everyone who truly cares for her unconditionally.
Have you got any tips. I myself an an ENFP and have gotten into a hole. Ive started to push people away and im noticing the exact opposite of who i am coming up. I want to be alone but i know this is unhealthy but i dont know what i can do to help.
I work weekend nights, and as such have no social life. My best mate has moved halfway across the world and even though I know loads of people, I feel so alone and it's really depressing.... I dont know how long it'll be before there's someone I'll pick as a good friend, but in the meantime, life is becoming a drag. Any tips on picking myself up?
I actually typically do talk about what's bothering me to people, but only to a very select few people. I feel very upset if I don't have anybody to listen to me. Even with my eating disorder, I still go to my best friend to talk about how I feel like I'm eating too much or I can't eat at all - I occasionally lie but I very often am straightforward about what's bothering me when it comes to my best friends. (There are really only three of them, though.)
Today something happened that made me realize that something was really off about myself lately. Im an enfp male that bartends, and for years of working in the service industry and meeting the most pleasent - among as well some of the most unpleasent customers, I could always maintain perfect composure, and be perfectly happy all the time. Even throughout my childhood, I never lost control of my emotions. I guess I don't realize how much stress really affected me until when I came home tonight (perfectly sober, I only smoke cannabis and drink coffee). To give context, my roommate helps himself around the house and to some of my own property a bit too much for my liking. I'm never able to address this because I'd reassure myself that the ends justify the means that my contributions to maintain harmony in the household are at least appreciated, but my roommate would borrow my property, try to make me think i misplaced them, and would wait days until I forgot or got over the lost item just to hide it in an obvious spot. (bartending trained me to be certain all of my property is accounted for). After many nights of coming home and finding a missing item and knowing another went missing, I felt as if my sanity was being attacked without any redemption. I confronted him, and as soon as I accused him, he resorted to acting physical towards me, getting up in my face, and I lost all of my composure. I blacked out and all I can remember is repeating "I can see all the way through you, all the time. I'm a mirror and I can see perfectly what you feel, all the time, every second." over and over in his face. Has anyone else ever experienced losing their composure around close acquaintances before in a similar sense? Nothing came of it, I regurgitated every instance I remember of catching him in the act and deciding not to follow through with accusations, and we both agreed that we need to be alone for a few days, and we since just left it at that. Idk, I'd really be happy to talk it through to somebody who thinks the same way I do, but I'm just out here on my own.
I'm INFP and you just described my brother to a te. It's sad. I wish i knew how to bring him back. to actually FEEL again. Anyway thanks for the insight!
..I can definiltly relate. But the problem is I can only see these kind of unhealth behaviour lster, like when couple of months have pased, how do I know if I'm doing any of these things right now? It's hard to belive that it would have gone away since I haven't really changed a lot so... How do I know?
This is not me, I need to talk about my problems but I don't always get the chance to do it. I definitely agree with wanting to be alone but at the same time I hate being alone
"limited vocabulary" xD I love how you expose enfp behaviour like that xD first apologizing because of our insecurity and then starting to express yourself brilliantly because you're an enfp xD
Ugh why are you describing me to such a T, lol. I can't say I've ever been very narcissistic, but the parts about pushing people away and trying to ignore your problems are so, so true...
There is a reason for why one develops certain personality type. Through self work many things can be changed for the better. I am speaking form the experience here. Here are some topics I highly recommend researching: 1. Codependency; 2. Karpman drama triangle; 3. trauma bonding.
Hi there buddy! That was cute when you held the pencil under your chin. ^u^ As an INFJ, I too get silly when I'm happy. =) God bless and have a nice day buddy! ^3^
I agree. I ignored that my fantasy relationship I with a boy was not real. Once I realized it because feelings weren't mutual, I was seeing things more clearly... I was sad at first but I learned about my tendencies
an unhealthy/insecure ENFP can also be very manipulative and very attention-seeking
Sounds like my friend haha
I fell for an unhealthy ENFP just a couple of weeks ago. FML.
yes i am! lol!
Oop that's me
Absolutely, when I start getting depressed or frustrated I start manipulating people as my outlet.
Your English is wonderful
Yeah
Yeah, I would have never guessed. It sounds really good
She’s cute
actually, as an enfp, when I detect an issue, whether I can recognize what it is or not, I become very pensive, and I don't tend to emerge from this state until I can recognize what is wrong, and what to do about it.
i agree. i disagree with her assumption that all enfp's "push their problems under rocks" and dont acknowledge that there is something wrong. i think one of the greatest strength of an enfp is that we recognize when we may be wrong or have an issue and we WANT to change and grow.
@@Julsies7 then you must be a healthy ENFP. Her video isn't describing all ENFPs, the topic is how unhealthy ENFPs behave
@@yjxx thank God. For a minute there, I was spiralling into the bottomless pit of self doubt and accusing myself of being the most vicious person. I don't know why it took reading your comment for me to realize that I could not relate probably because I am a healthy ENFP😂
I am an ENFP!! I some unhealthy things I do are: when I am sad (not all the time) I am VERY sad. My emotions are craaazy sometimes. I also feel that I am too clingy...
EvaJane meee too. I need to find someone
As an ENFP, I've been through this all my life, and it feels amazing to hear someone put it in words..and to know that others know what this is like.. thank you
Biggest fear - being alone.
*hugs self* :/
amt SAMMMEEE
Very true
Being rejected by someone we love is worse.
Fact.
Fuck. This hit close. I didnt realized I was ENFP until today, and well I live in Monterrey Mexico where traditionally people are very strong-worded, very friendly but at the same time very critical and even rude. So being a male ENFP here constantly feels like being oversensitive, I've felt the need to hide my true self behind "cool and strong" behaviors such as making out with girls at clubs, aiming to be liked by assholes and consecuencially pot and alcohol use. That last bit of being emotionally numb, hit me, because being in this kind of environment where people dont respect sensitivity or diversity of thinking (you would get heavily bullied and laughed at for being shy or vegan, or for being sensitive) really puts you off, makes you wanna run away or hide away from most people and generally puts you in a justified defensive state.
I just found out I'm an ENFP too after 7 months of thinking I was an INFP or INFJ. Now I understand why I couldn't decide between those 2, because I'm neither. I also withdrew at a young age and I self-isolate a lot, because of my strong Fi. But in other ways I can be very outgoing, in my personality at least, when I'm around people I'm not so timid or anything. I didn't realize ENFPs can potentially be HSP/empath types like myself. I thought they are all very extroverted, but no, I always considered myself an introvert. Now I know why being so isolated makes me so depressed...
That really hit home.
You hit the nail on the head!
I think one of the reasons unhealthy ENFPs will search for any social interaction, even if it's shallow, meaningless and doesn't support their moral system comes from being alone. When an unhealthy ENFP realizes that they're alone and feel that fear of being alone forever creep in, they're gonna do anything to get out of the isolation and not feel like that anymore.
I was an unhealthy ENFP for a while (thanks to social anxiety, which got this started). What I realized was that when I was unbalanced I felt incredibly alone, no matter if I had friends or not. I moved into another city at the time which made this even harder. Making friends felt impossible, I couldn't rely on my social skills as I felt that I didn't have any/was boring, everybody hated me etc
It made me feel lonely af and while I didn't manipulate people, I didn't stick to my opinion and moral system. I adjusted it to the other person in order to be liked, if somebody else had a different opinion I'd do the same. To others it must've seemed like I changed my opinion all the time and knowing I was contradictory didn't make my situation better at all
Now that I've got my stuff sorted I what's right and wrong again & know about my strengths and weaknesses again (an unhealthy ENFP often seems to lose their sense of self)
I am an ENFP (through and through!) and you nailed this. Especially the part about wanting to be the most original person in the room 😂
I think your English is great. In my early 30s I am now trying to learn a second language (Spanish) and have a newfound respect for How. Hard. It. Is. Xx
hola enfp here and I'm actually learning Spanish as a second language too xD
(ignore my edit it's a typing error '-')
so ...how can an ENFP break this vicious circle. ...i need help ....im always procrastinating everything and am always sad ........but as you said it in your video. . ....Everything is exactly as you described it ...right on the spot
also on top of that. ..there's always a big fear of confrontation
www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality This helped me
I'm going through it badly right now. Just know you're not alone.
I could use your help. I am an INTJ female married to Unhealthy ENFP male who has had a stroke. my e-mail is Kerosene_Lamps@yahoo.com
@@tvygem how are you now?
I have gone into seclusion recently. I no longer see the point of interacting with others just to be ignored and friend dumped. I feel like whatever I do it fails. I do maintain some causual friends but there seems little meaning or connection with them. As a male I find other males unwilling to discuss meaning emotions or sensitives. I get that need met at times with women though that can lead to confusion about the status of the relationship. My therapist suggested I have a tendency to bring out the unresolved issues in others. It seems I am also quite empathic quite possibly at times unable to seperate my feelings from the feelings of others around me. To say I am confused is rather an understatement. I wonder if other ENFPs have gone through experiences which bring them up against such problems of deep misunderstandi, friendlessness forcing them into seclusion.
Mark List I'm your brother
This is I
I am so with you on this and I have lost friends but with mixed reasons. I found myself in toxic friendships and relationships and it sucked because I loved everyone so much and I felt so betrayed. I tend to be pretty chill in friendships and such and I just got mowed over and THEN I secluded and ppl got mad.
Meee once a friend just didn't tell me this one very specific thing that was happening in her life and I also felt like she was very distant so I just lost it I almost cut all real close ties with all friends I felt like the reason i hurt was because I'm too emotionally attached to people and all the very successfull people I knew: people with good grades etc. Didn't seem like they were very emotionally attached to people so I figured I should do the same, the same friend (INFP) was so sorry for making me feel this way and begged me to stop thinking like this.
You have discribe my behavior, i feel everyword
Thank you. I would say my most unhealthy habits as an ENFP are putting things off until the last minute especially if it involves a bad outcome with another person. For example, telling my wife about something important that I know will cause anger. Another one would include lack of focus. I believe you discussed the first somewhat in your video.
Richard Sosa wow i too cannot hide anything.
As an ENFP and a non-native English speaker, who uses English on a daily basis, I would just like to say: Thank you for this video. I love your way to express yourself and I gained much insight from watching it.
I wanna cry now, but I feel so numb 😪
wow, i really appreciate this video. as an enfp, i relate to all of this. i've been really into mbti stuff lately after really identifying with my result. everyone i know that has taken it has gotten accurate results too, so i think it's extremely interesting. i especially love understanding my type, so videos like this from fellow enfps like you are awesome! also, i have to say your accent is amazing and, not to be "that guy", but you are extremely gorgeous! :)
As an enfp with some traumatic relationship stuff and betrayals behind me, I can totally relate. I mean like.. everything. I've been pushing back people, changed the continent and went traveling. Lots of shallow friendships, narcissistic tendencies and always expecting the worst while secretly hoping for the best. As usual, my (dark enfp) high moral standards couldn't be met under good conditions, even less being bitter and lonely. My biggest fear was being manipulative and that someone likeable would find out who I really was. Been single for like 7 years, barely any new friends. I've seen everything short of becoming suicidal.. Probably because I still believe I'm so goddamn important and somehow must have a higher purpose or a mission in life.
Either way, been dating again.. 1 in a million love at first sight.. Her friends easily relate and become my friends as well. Harmonious family (not like mine lol), thy accepted me with all my shitty life and crazy dark ENFPness. been together for a year and a half now, living together and planning on settling down.. As Enfps you guys know how much it means to give up that freedom ;)
You'll never believe that it'll get better.. Until it suddenly does. Love ya'll and love this channel :)
Sou mulher INFJ e nunca vi alguém relatar o mesmo sentimento que tenho.
Ainda estou em processo de cura, mas também temo que meu futuro namorado ou marido, acabe descobrindo quem realmente sou, com meus defeitos e tudo, e queira pular fora...
Também cresci em meio a uma família tóxica, mas creio que Deus vai me curar totalmente.
Quero ser uma INFJ saudável não só para ser feliz e estar em paz comigo mesma, mas também para ser a melhor versão de mim para meu futuro amor.
I'm struggling with ADD and procrastinating and avoiding important things, can't get out of bed, beating myself up for it. I have no social life. Just really in a rut right now.
As an ENFP (numb) I can say that my anxious and, sometimes, cinycism makes my social and personal life a living hell.
Tsk man
It's so hard to change when you've been traumatized by a parent-abuser for 20 years.
But I'm sure I'll heal.
Back then in the past I used to often get infj results in my testing.
Basically meaning I was constantly in a very dark depressed place.
I now sometimes get Enfp-a or t depending on time and different situations.
It's still very unstable for me..
Thank you for the info you providing sweet soul.
It's very insightful.
Im an ENFP and i approve this message
I am an enfp with an istj. I have become an unhealthy enfp and I think because I have ignored so many issues in my past and tried not to feel for such a long time not knowing feeling is in my nature. I convinced myself to feel only meant hurt and pain. what is a depressed ENFP? I am seeing a psychologist now which is how I found out my personality type.
From what I understand ENFP's have the introvert trait but it's undeveloped because they don't use it often until they're stressed. So in other words in times of stress and despair they turn to an undeveloped personality trait to solve the problem so that causes more problems.
I'm an INTJ. This is my girlfriend (who is an ENFP) all over! You even have some over her mannerisms which she shows when she's uncomfortable (e.g. clasping your hands together and pulling them to your chest).
Wow! I'm an ENFP, and I identify with what you're saying. You are so bubbly and relatable; I love it!
C'est bon! Thanks for the upload, it's especially refreshing how you describe it so intuitively.. I think that helps other enfp's internalize your analysis more quickly than most other videos.
Thank you :)
this video made me understand and break out of this unhealthy cycle!! ^_^
JESENSEN YOU ARE SO PROFESSIONAL, you taught me so much abotu myself and explained so many blurry aspects of my persnality. thank you
I am an ENFP. What you told is so true and the btw you are looking so beautiful ❤️
this was rather helpful as i am attempting to understand my ENFP friend at this moment. glad you put this out there.
Never knew I was an unhealthy enfp 🤯🤯 I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t realize how serious it’s getting but maybe this’s because I’m only 14 and I’m still figuring out life???
I'm a unhealthy ENFP since I was 14 (now I'm 20). You are right, you still figuring out life (me too). I wish you lucky and good decision. Procure be in a good place with good people, this is essential.
I went through a pretty unhealthy cycle not so long ago, I almost bailed on my vacation trip with my mom because I just didn't feel like DOING anything and even less something involving people. One of the things that helped me was connect with my senses by walking outside at night during a storm, alone ; it enabled me to FEEL something. Really, one of the worst fears of ENFPs besides being alone is not feeling anything, everything being dull and grey and meaningless.
My ENFP is friend is obsessed with maintaining shallow relationships and is extremely judgmental. I don't engage so much anymore because it's hard to watch. Disconnected energy usually is a trainwreck.
My INFJ bud does that too, best friends with absolute trash tho hahaha
Your endless sweetness and kindness just lifted my hole mood. Wich was really important on this sad topic. I ended the video feeling understod and hopefull. Thank you very much. 🥰🎉
Your english was very good! I am an ENFP and I don't really see myself as unhealthy overall but I do suffer from some anxiety. I do notice that I do push problems away when I am stressed or anxious, I call this compartmentalizing my problems. I am trying to work on this because I recognize its a bad habit. You are so sweet! Thank you for your insightful video. :)
Thanks for this video! I just wanted to say that your English is really good, you have a rich vocabulary and you seem comfortable when you speak.
Your English is great. This video was obnoxiously accurate because I'm currently ignoring a problem. Thank you so much for putting this together.
I'm also an ENFP. Hello from Los Angeles California. Thank you for your videos. You're so cute and very insightful. Good luck in life. Ciao.
You just described me so perfectly......I was waiting with baited breath for the "solution" portion of the video. I'm am so" stuck" and have been for many years due to a relationship with an intj. But like you said I ignored it at first. I don't want to talk about it. And now I have started to change on the inside, and pull away from my friends. what do I do?
So I guess THAT's why I have to shoot down other people's ideas, cultures, and even tastes in music as "inferior" all the time, even since like high school or so lol
Scars and hurts of "invalidation" since pre-teen years has left me subconsciously bitter and toxic I guess :/
I've also been more or less "alone" since teen years, and also struggled with addiction since around that time. There was even a time when I gave up feelings of "love" after 4th one-sided feelings since I was just angst-ing and moping over them, wasting time and energy - that ended up making me pretty much apathetic to life and feeling like I was barely holding everything together (school, house-keeping, self-economy, etc.) by a single thread.
So I've pretty much been an unhealthy ENFP all my life, and now that my teen years' passions and energy fueled by hormones are long gone, I don't know how to get life back on track. I even recently got to the point where I don't find joy in most things anymore, just temporary "excitements" from moment to moment (food, meaningless games, mindless visual entertainment, etc.) No more dreams, no more hope, no more drive. Like, even gaming - I enjoy it in that moment, but only then. When I think of it at other times, I feel nothing. Same with food - feels more like a hassle than anything now.
When I think "tomorrow," nothing excites me. And I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want, even the stuff I had been dreaming of in the past.
My life has literally come to a full stop, with all the momentum dissipated.
I need help, and I need it badly, and 2020 is the worst time to be needing it UGH
You are so well spoken! What an intelligent woman! Thank you for this!
You are very articulate and gorgeous, thank you for your thoughts, I'm an ENFP/INFP a little of both 55% E 45% I
This is SO accurate thank you so much for being honest and vulnerable! Great insight and video :D
As an INFP who has many ENFP friends, I kinda needed to watch this video.
It's a great video! Thank you very much for making it. ^ ^
im a careless and numb enfp. Ive just been thru a lot and climbed mountains for people who couldn't care less about me any ways I stopped giving a fuck about anything and its been causing me problems lately help
I'm an INTJ-A and once i had an Unhealthy ENFP-T friend, she was so needy and it was just too much for me.
You are the most beautiful ENFP youtuber I've seen :)
I now notice this pattern.. I've been through it through my adolescence, almost ruined my life..
Now I am going through it again, beacause I am in a job that I hate..
Gotta leave that job, I am so unhappy..
oh where are you from? your accent's nice.
oh thank you I'm from Turkey :)
+Cansın ENFP thanks for the reply, great video. It totally describes my ENFP friend, at first I didn’t even think that was his type because of all his anti-enfp characteristics.
I'm a unhealthy enfp male that's emotionally numb and i dont want to be like this anymore, what do I do?
Hey me too. However I was worse, but I started to read this book I abosulity recomand for anyone who is an enfp unhealthy it's call how to heal your life. Search Louise hay in youtube and listen to her everyday she is wonderful and if u need help let me know :) u got this
yeah i'd recommonend self help book
start with the alchemist paulo coelho
and then lemme know how it goes
and 21 rituals by theresa cheung i think start with them 2
Hey guys, I'm an ENFP too. I can say that along with understanding myself, journaling, playing guitare/listening to music and physical training all help me, the ultimate help in my life is Jesus Christ. I know that you're immediate thought is something like 'here we go, another religious nut! But let me say that there really is hope, meaning, purpose and healing to be found in Him. Check this out and come to your own informed conclusion: www.christianityexplored.org/
Find an ENTP or an INTJ woman they'll snap you RIGHT out of it. Have you all in your fricking feelings
Guess it's time for me to realign myself and get healthy. Thanks for making this video. It gave me some courage to fix what's been swept under the rug.
Very helpful thank you. I love my enfp soulmate but its not easy...you have given a lot of useful insights thank you!
I heard a cat meowing. Is it only me?😂
I believe my girlfriend is an ENFP and everything you said is happening right now. She's dealing with a lot of stressful life events and has become more distant. I'm trying to figure out how to help her through it and let her know she has my support. The tricky part is that I understand that ENFP's need space when they get in that space. In my past experience whenever a woman gets distant it always turned out that she was seeing someone else so I'm also worried about that.
She's done
as an enfp I have done every single one of these at some one point in my life :D
Great overview. As a def unhealthy ENFP right now it hits very close.
Hey, fantastic video! A well thought out video, one which I found very useful. I was in a very bad place last year, and nearly all (fortunately not the last) happened to me! I would also add a bit to the "wanting to be alone" stage. For me, I would try and rationalise my want of loneliness by thinking of how things have and will go bad if im around others.
Thank you for the insightful vid 😊
Thank you it has given me something's to ponder on as I'm ENFP
I'm infj, my mum and Nan ENFP.. dad INTP and nan's partner ENTJ I think.. my sisters ExFP.. brother is likely an INTJ and now he's not separated from me, he gives me the grounding I need just by being himself. My family is very dysfunctional, my dad and Nan have passed away.. they were so close and were like that overpowering figures in the family. I don't see my nan's partner, I've a feeling he had say in some or many of the poor choices my nan made maybe..Idk but going to get some autonomy soon hopefully so I won't have my mum breathing over my shoulder/ neck or being subjugated to things I don't wish to participate in or being put in spotlight I don't want to be in.
You hit it spot on! This is someone i know and i swear hes narcissistic
this is so me! It feels good to have ppl understand
Hannah meee tooo
I'm an ENFP i don't know but sometimes if something bad or stressful happens maybe it doesn't affect me at first but after 3-4 days i start being depressed and crying in my dark room all the time.. Is this an ENFP thing?
I don't really understand what type I am, but I am an ambivert Intuitive..and idk why but I feel maybe I'm an enfp. Idk do enfp's have this urge to do EVERYTHING?? like, so many things interest them. And they wanna try everything so that they can be called v smart/creative/intelligent ie different from others. I've been having this extreeeeeemely and I feel like excelling alot of things, but it just feels v exhausting coz it's too much pressure. Does anyone relate?
INFP here. My best friend was an unhealthy ENFP, and she completely cut me out of her life. She would be manipulative, always needed to be seen as the most original person in the room, was an insomniac, serious issues with procrastination, would be obsessed with flirting with others, could only open herself up emotionally with copious amounts of alcohol, struggled with insecurity and self loathing, had this superiority complex that acting on her feelings (however impulsive they may be, such as cheating) could somehow be justified as just something in the moment and that she could do no wrong (or at least admit it), she kept finding herself in abusive and toxic relationships, and I was the only person who had the courage to be honest with her as I deeply cared about her well being and frankly, loved her. To this day, I still genuinely hope she finds happiness and clarity, but I fear that her insecurities and her ENFP tendencies will only cause her to push away everyone who truly cares for her unconditionally.
ENFP here, great and informative video!
Have you got any tips. I myself an an ENFP and have gotten into a hole. Ive started to push people away and im noticing the exact opposite of who i am coming up. I want to be alone but i know this is unhealthy but i dont know what i can do to help.
Super relatable video and your english is incredible btw.
your accent is the best foreign one i have heard! its just melodious lol!
good analysis, highlighting the problem is one step to the solution. What are the suggestions on how to overcome them? as i am not ENFP.
I work weekend nights, and as such have no social life. My best mate has moved halfway across the world and even though I know loads of people, I feel so alone and it's really depressing.... I dont know how long it'll be before there's someone I'll pick as a good friend, but in the meantime, life is becoming a drag. Any tips on picking myself up?
-Unhealthy I am -
What I gonna become ? An Hermit ?
Like your energy !
This is so spot on…
I actually typically do talk about what's bothering me to people, but only to a very select few people. I feel very upset if I don't have anybody to listen to me. Even with my eating disorder, I still go to my best friend to talk about how I feel like I'm eating too much or I can't eat at all - I occasionally lie but I very often am straightforward about what's bothering me when it comes to my best friends. (There are really only three of them, though.)
I feel numb...All of this is currently happening to me, what can I do?
Today something happened that made me realize that something was really off about myself lately. Im an enfp male that bartends, and for years of working in the service industry and meeting the most pleasent - among as well some of the most unpleasent customers, I could always maintain perfect composure, and be perfectly happy all the time. Even throughout my childhood, I never lost control of my emotions. I guess I don't realize how much stress really affected me until when I came home tonight (perfectly sober, I only smoke cannabis and drink coffee). To give context, my roommate helps himself around the house and to some of my own property a bit too much for my liking. I'm never able to address this because I'd reassure myself that the ends justify the means that my contributions to maintain harmony in the household are at least appreciated, but my roommate would borrow my property, try to make me think i misplaced them, and would wait days until I forgot or got over the lost item just to hide it in an obvious spot. (bartending trained me to be certain all of my property is accounted for). After many nights of coming home and finding a missing item and knowing another went missing, I felt as if my sanity was being attacked without any redemption. I confronted him, and as soon as I accused him, he resorted to acting physical towards me, getting up in my face, and I lost all of my composure. I blacked out and all I can remember is repeating "I can see all the way through you, all the time. I'm a mirror and I can see perfectly what you feel, all the time, every second." over and over in his face. Has anyone else ever experienced losing their composure around close acquaintances before in a similar sense? Nothing came of it, I regurgitated every instance I remember of catching him in the act and deciding not to follow through with accusations, and we both agreed that we need to be alone for a few days, and we since just left it at that. Idk, I'd really be happy to talk it through to somebody who thinks the same way I do, but I'm just out here on my own.
I'm INFP and you just described my brother to a te. It's sad. I wish i knew how to bring him back. to actually FEEL again. Anyway thanks for the insight!
..I can definiltly relate. But the problem is I can only see these kind of unhealth behaviour lster, like when couple of months have pased, how do I know if I'm doing any of these things right now? It's hard to belive that it would have gone away since I haven't really changed a lot so... How do I know?
biggest fear is to be in the military, jail, or other unsafe places like that
This is not me, I need to talk about my problems but I don't always get the chance to do it. I definitely agree with wanting to be alone but at the same time I hate being alone
Your english is amazing! I'm learning spanish as an exchange student and i wish my spanish was as good as your english!
"limited vocabulary" xD
I love how you expose enfp behaviour like that xD first apologizing because of our insecurity and then starting to express yourself brilliantly because you're an enfp xD
ENFPs and addictions are the worst
Ugh why are you describing me to such a T, lol. I can't say I've ever been very narcissistic, but the parts about pushing people away and trying to ignore your problems are so, so true...
I've never been this way, and I'm grateful!
Your English is pretty good, keep up the good work!! Really love your video!
Çok çok çok teşekkür ederim hayatımı kurtardın.
Hi! I am writing a book on temperament with a driving theme. If you had to put the ENFP personality into a license plate what would it say? Ex. OP2MST
I have a time that I'm completely Numb and isn't good...
Not it isn´t
There is a reason for why one develops certain personality type. Through self work many things can be changed for the better. I am speaking form the experience here. Here are some topics I highly recommend researching: 1. Codependency; 2. Karpman drama triangle; 3. trauma bonding.
Hi there buddy! That was cute when you held the pencil under your chin. ^u^ As an INFJ, I too get silly when I'm happy. =) God bless and have a nice day buddy! ^3^
INFJ here. You are nice, I like your channel, keep it up
I agree. I ignored that my fantasy relationship I with a boy was not real. Once I realized it because feelings weren't mutual, I was seeing things more clearly... I was sad at first but I learned about my tendencies
Would you agree with the idea that an ENFP can become an awful ISTJ (due to stress, lack of maturity, etc)?
we really need help, but we never ever want to ask
Did you have unhealthy behaviour. I would be curious to know :-)
How do you define "unhealthy"? Insecure?
I am very insecure but I am not shallow at all? Maybe I am a healthy insecure ENFP?
thank you for this video, somehow it makes me understand myself more. i love your smile btw :)
You hit the nail on the head
Mmm...I notice the unhealthy behaviors in myself sometimes, but I'm so good at hiding them that nobody notices them.
Why did you just explain me?
Hello, just curious but what are these points based on? I.e. Studies or?
ok do I am an unheathy enfp snd now how do I feel again?