This video is uncomfortable for me, but that's entirely the point. Teal shows how masterfully Blake gets the common person on his side. We that are like Blake sit here watching thinking "Poor Blake! She's being so hard on him! He's a nice guy!" which is exactly what Teal wants to address. My guess is that she's had this conversation with him SO...MANY...TIMES that she is frustrated that he's not doing the work. Codependents don't do the work because they are obsessed with being liked and also obsessed with comfort. Teal is saying "Sit here in this discomfort. Sit here in not having my approval. You're going to survive it so stop resisting it. I'm not going to let you charm your way out of it". If you're codependent then you're probably an approval junkie. If you're an approval junkie there's no supply quite like the empathetic therapist.
u have to wonder if a person like blake can or even wants to change? maybe its just their core personality/nature? he even looks very calm and mild, whereas teal's look is intense, her eyes, cheekbones etc. i think sometimes u can tell a person's personality by their features
@@corsicanlulu interesting, I like that. I have a darkness to me. Many think im older than what I am. Although I am no where near as beautiful/gorgeous as Teal, I have high cheekbones and long dark hair. I think there may be studies on personalities and features....gonna look into that, thanks!
"Your capacity to heal from codependency rests on your capacity to see yourself as not good" Damn I really need to watch this some 2 3 times to get into the crux of it
After a lifetime of being dysfunctional, toxic, and codependent...I'm just now at the point where I am accepting that I have been the bad guy. Finally taking accountability and it hurts so much. Hopefully this is where the healing begins.
It is evidence of spiritual growth to accept undesirable tasks that may not make you look good. This is truly service to others rather than service to self. 💗
In all my years I have not come across a woman as smart as Teal. She's a female version of Einstein and a myriad of spiritual leaders combined. It's as if she was a being from another dimension and one could not help but marvel at her intellect and spirituality. She's one amazing woman!
What about letting her be what she really is? Why compare? Because we people don't have enough value or meaningfulness on our own. It is the life that she have lived and the choices that she made what is so great about her. Comparing her to Einstein, a man who helped create the atom bomb, I don't know that you realised that comparing is a dangerous thing. Let people be who they truly are inside!
Joris Vander Cammen It's just an opinion, and what I said will not change anything about her, nor am I preventing her from being who she truly is on the inside. Einstein was just an example because he was one of the smartest people I know. and I can't think of a female genius at the moment. I also never considered Einstein as an evil man. But anyway, I'm sorry to have offended you over such a little thing. I hope this puts an end to the matter. I will also unsubscribe from this channel to avoid coming across you again. Good day.
Neil Goloy: It sounds like you're a huge fan of Teal, so why allow another's opinion---which they have every right to freely and fully express---negatively affect your subscription to her channel? That seems more of a disservice to her and her team, who didn't do anything wrong from your perspective. From a neutral perspective, both you and Joris have valid points, and you're on the same Teal Team. ;-).
Barbara D Thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it. I honestly think that the wisdom of teal cannot be found anywhere else. But this is how I put troublesome issues to rest on You Tube, by apologizing and leaving. I'm actually just a new subscriber here. I don't think the loss of one subscriber would have any effect on this channel whatsoever. Anyway, I have learned something from this experience. You're a wonderful person and I thank you once again for taking the time to address this situation. Namaste. :-)
hey! :( sad to hear. Teal trained me as a completion process practitioner and if you feel called to use that and other cool methods so that you embody self love, stop pleasing others and attracting toxic/manipulative people, feel free to reach out! : ) www.berlinbuddha.de/en-gb/rezensionen
But don't feel like you're a monster or that you need professional help just because you've realized and admitted this about yourself. You've done a great thing for yourself.
For everyone commenting about how Teal is "making him feel": No one can make you feel any sort of way. Its your choice to feel whatever it is you want to feel with your perception of the situation. When people speak, its more of a reflection about themselves than it is about you. Doesn't help to take everything so personally. Such a great video! Really helped me seeing myself in a new way. Thanks Teal!
As a codependent, this is such a blessing to be able to see this in action from the outside. My false self will deny the exact things that Blake does in this video to not look at his shame and pain. In a way, this provides hope that this is something that can be worked through and not a feeling of despair for not been authentic.
I think codependency and narcissism are similar bc the wound stems from the same place. Hence like attracts like. But codependents are not worse than narcissists. Narcissism is a personality disorder, codependency is not. Codependency can be cured narcissism can not ( it’s very rare) . Narcissistic people are cruel and enjoy hurting others . Codependency is not aimed to hurt others. Codependents are not narcissistic but they attract them for sure. Narcissists like codependents Bc they are attracted to people they can dominate and manipulate . However both narcissists and codependents operate from a deep belief in lack. They are living their lives from a vibration and a stare of lack. They are the opposite sides of the same coin. Thus they attract one another to each other based on the scale of the depth of the wound. In the end they both are suffering, bc they believe in the illusion of lack. Lack does not exist.
True but it's different sides of the same stick. narcs hurt people an co dependents use people. when they're together they're literally using and manipulating the other in cycles lol Both only care about their own needs.
narcisissm can be healed when the core wound is addressed. co-dependend people hurt others very much and dont even realize it. getting hurt by co-dependend sissy behaviour hurts just as much as narcistic abuse... its actually the same, you just said is yourself...
According to Teal, narcissism is not a personality disorder, it is an adaptation to trauma. Like she says in the video, codependency is worse than narcissism because codependency IS narcissism, but hide it behind being "good":)
@@stephaniewallace8673 That is an interesting perspective! I think that is true. Being loved for someone you are not, would leave a person very invalid.
@@stephaniewallace8673 That was actually put beautifully, however it doesn’t seem like either is an option. One allows them to stay longer, and the other doesn’t. Either way, they leave
It’s the opposite. You get “left alone”by people who are incompatible with you but then you get to meet the people who love who you are. Which is waaay better
The way Teal was talking about her relationship with pressure, I completely relate. I have so much energy that a certain kind of pressure allows me to narrow that energy down and focus on one thing instead of a million. I'm an independent artist and my work has always been better when it's for an art class or competition opposed to my own independent work.
We are what we are. I would say, from a lifetime of wonderful experiences, that I served others to my best abilities. It is those gifts that makes me one of the richest men in California. Stars are idols. The financially successful barely know themselves. The liars and thieves rob and steal and lie only to themselves in the end. I have given everything I was asked to give---and I still have more. *"If one is not giving it, love, then one is just not getting it"* ♒🐡💗✡
Wow, thank you all for bringing this video into my life. I love how honest Blake is in this video. It really proves how deeply automated our patterns for survival are. They are not bad per se, like nothing can be, they are just not helping us achieve what we want today. It's uncanny how many times this channels content is directly applicable on my life. I wanted to get away from some pressure. Now I understand that I need to accept that I am not going to be loved by everyone and that I will not succeed in everything. And this is okay. I don't have to be perfect to be loved. Yet I am the one who needs to accept what is truly inside me and integrate it, take ownership. Now onwards to the pressure! :-$
Yes. I’m an empath but also codependent and appreciate u pointing out the truths and flaws as well. We sometimes focus on narcs and not our own passive aggressiveness
I’ve watched a lot of Teal’s videos so far, but I’ve only seen her conversate with two of her very supportive coworkers---Blake and the blond, wavy-haired female whose name escapes me---who both seem to be gentle souls, yet, somewhat passive beings. I find the relationship dynamic between Teal and these two coworkers interesting and somewhat familiar. I sense that Teal’s varying degrees of aggressive communication style (verbal and non-verbal) to Blake is intentional, and stems from unconditional love, whereas my mother’s way of being stemmed from unawareness, selfishness and conditional love (ultimately stemmed from deep fear). For instance, my ‘self-sacrificer’ mother---a wounded wounder/lost soul---is known to have a very aggressive personality within my extended family. Most of my relatives walk on egg shells around her, but one of my aunts---who I refer to as Buddha aunt since she’s an unconventional monk---doesn’t take any crap from her though she’s one of my mom’s younger sisters. So the tone that my mom uses towards her is different than the one she uses towards others. What I’ve learned from their unique relationship (and like others that I’ve known throughout my life)---as well as my personal experiences with my mom---is that the aggressive personality (who doesn’t come from love) WILL back down if they realize that another has created healthy boundaries. During my adulthood, whenever my mother was very verbally aggressive towards me, and I was passive, she would be more manipulative and extremely controlling. However, when I learned to be assertive with her, and even aggressive at times when needed, she would back the f*** off and even speak gently all of a sudden (which seemed magical). There’s nothing wrong with honoring all of our emotions and expressing an emotion like anger in healthy ways (i.e., NOT injuring another, killing another, destroying another’s vehicle, committing arson, etc.). However, I trust that it's also about knowing when to use the tool of aggression (to varying degrees) to highly benefit self and interconnected others, and not habitually misusing and/or abusing it to feel in control of others, and thus powerful (with a small p)---which is the opposite of Divine Power that's used in conjunction with Divine Love and Divine Wisdom. May Teal deeply trigger her two coworkers (and like others) to rebirth the tiger and tigress in them, the way my own mother unknowingly did for my aunt and I (a blessing in disguise). Another observation: There's nothing wrong with very briefly wanting to ensure that the camera is focused good for the audience; I trust that Blake was simply being thoughtful and business smart since it makes sense to show on camera both parties conversating. Now if Blake continued focusing more towards the camera/audience during his conversation with Teal---the way Ralph Smart did in one of his videos with Teal---then THAT could be perceived as being codependent. In that scenario, it appeared as though Ralph wasn't fully present with her and what she had to passionately vent; but rather, was more focused on making various facial expressions while looking mostly into the camera and being the center of attention. I shared my observations in a comment. Teal saying that she likes the following type of chosen pressure sounds like the very thing she taught NOT to Be and do (savior mentality/rescuer/rescue mode), which is the same low/dense/fear-based energy as narcissism (both stemming from the belief that love is NOT abundant and that Source within ALL of Life cannot be trusted): “I need you to put my life together again. Tell me what to f***ing do with that! [...] The idea of having someone’s like life and vulnerability in my hands, and having me be totally responsible for that, I can totally step up to that.” From 10:32 - 11:11 minutes of this video, Teal almost gets away with damn near confusing the F*** out of not only Blake, but me as well. She basically paraphrases what he said, but makes it seems as though HE doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. :-D WOMAN, you so funny.And Blake cracks me up with all of his lovable, non-verbal cues that Teal seems oblivious to at times! ^_^ Blake has a fear of others’ judgment toward him while he’s on stage---which is a very common, collective fear---and that explains why Teal seems to be showing him that she doesn’t like the sound of trombones, so that he can get used to another not liking, accepting and/or approving of his passion, and being completely okay with it. Teal getting on Blake’s @$$ back to back to back could make anyone uncomfortable to simply Be oneself without judgment, and to freely and fully express oneself. So you’re telling me that whenever Blake expresses anything positive, he’s not being authentic? Sounds like a MEGA load of doo doo. I have no doubt that he has genuine moments of authenticity, but when enough people, who he cares about, convinces him otherwise, then he may end up believing them over his own intuition. Instead of putting self and/or others in earthly boxes such as good or bad, right or wrong, light or dark, etc., why not embrace ALL aspects of the whole, Multidimensional self/Self? Nonetheless, thank you guys for Being an invaluable gift to self/Self, interconnected humanity, Mother Earth, merging worlds, and beyond.
I liked your comment because often I feel that there's a lot of ego in some of the ways Teal interacts with people and it rubs me wrong. I recognize that I too have a strongly assertive personality and it is a struggle for me to have proper awareness around it.
This comment is very much interesting,but I think what teal was aiming at its literally what you said in the end,I don't think Blake doesn't has positive authentic moments;I think that she was exactly trying to make his truth come up EVEN IF she was not okay with it.Like when she said she doesn't like the trombone and playing an instrument when his truth was that he loved doing It.
Teal you can always surgically understand. So many of us have such a great fear of this therefore are stuck, not able to have compassion not able to love. Not able to be themselves. You're the only one that in a short video , outline and bring to light problems that plague us all. So grateful for you surgeon Teal! Peace and love to you always:)
I love Teal's group around her! They obviously all are put on "the hot seat" every now and then and they all are clearly working on their own growth. I love seeing that on camera! These people are authentic in the sense that they are TRYING their best to get it and to try and apply it to their lives. Hats off to you guys! You see, I don't see Teal being hard on any of her staff. She's DIRECT. And she's working with them, and they're willing to work with her. She's not interested in playing games. She wants to dive deep into the topics and really work on them with her staff. It's great to see real examples as they try to get it and understand it. It's EXACTLY what I'm going thru in my OWN life, even if it's not the same examples, it's always the same topics. ALL of us go thru these things at one time or another. It's FRICKIN' AWESOME to see these things coming into awareness and then being able to start to let go of them!
“Authenticity is the capacity to look someone in the face and say ‘the truth of my life is what I know will not make me look good.’” Oh loooord have mercy. That spot right there hit me in my soul, I had to replay it. I’ve been hiding my true self because I know it’s unsavory... and I guess it’s a fear of conflict? A fear of consequence? A fear of not being loved, liked, accepted? A fear of judgement? A fear of the negative emotions that come from that? Unworthiness? I have a lot to unpack here 😩 I didn’t realize it until the end of a relationship triggered some deep wounds that, of course, can be traced back to childhood.. so deep down the rabbit hole I go with all these labels trying to figure it out, co-dependency, narcissism, all the different kinds of wounds... abandonment wounds, attachment style wounds... 🥴
I was expecting someone would pop in the end and talk about her behaviour being codependent. I am not a therapist, but her condescending, superior, didactic tone seemed completely feeding her codependent self. Codependents are not only mainstream nice, but can be righteous, useful, all- knowing. She knows the truth and is willing to teach him. Fits with her loving to have the power of someone else's life in her hands
love the long term relationship you have with Blake. Even though your love for him is strong, it will take his own suffering to have the ability to understand what he does to counter the suffering. We all learn the wrong or right way to nonsuffering.. like yourself, if one suffers enough they will find a way to find non-suffering. If the effort to counter the suffering is minimal then the suffering will continue. Sometimes we choose this before we came to the planet. We choose how to suffer," before we get here" in order to experience life on the planet for a different reason. Even if the reason is for 10 seconds to smell a flower in the jungle. Our lives revolve around filling the Karmic Contract we agreed to before we came for this event. Our choices are our own as long as we understand that it is contractual. Right from wrong...we learn as we go. Blake needs a long term break serving others outside your community. The becoming humble part is a solo journey. It takes giving all and everything up to find the self. You, Teal, has had the opportunity to be forced into finding sanctuary. This is a co-dependent action. It might still take some time to find the solo journey you still desire. From one Gemini to another...at times, our minds are still fractured from the cults that found our birth date. It is possible to defragment the mind using help from your core guides. If anyone who feels co-dependant and doesn't understand the syndrome then a red road event should be taken. A solo trip with the self and the world, leaving all dependencies behind. One would be like you..in a pit with ants. Eventually, they will figure it out on their own, depending on how determined they are. I have all the respect in the world for you. Thanks for coming to the planet to share your experience and heal others...Cheers.
I feel you teal about the pressure thing. I loved university exams. Sitting down for a final exam I actually got butterflies in my stomach. I absolutely loved the feeling of being able to demonstrate my extensive knowledge on a particular topic.
What Teal said about inauthentic mothers was so relatable to me. It felt like she was talking about me. That is the exact relationship dynamic I have with my mother lol.
all I can say is DAMN. After watching this i literally I had to face my codependency up front in a relationship where I would double down and shift blame just to avoid feeling shame. I never wanted to sit with it long enough to feel freedom from it. Thank you for this
To the dude that is in this video, you helped me. Don't let this get at you. No shame here. You are me in all your self talk and outward talk and I learned allot.
Teal Swan seems to be a master of being able to tell the truth (which to our inauthentic selves is putting on the “pressure”) without being mean (adding needless pressure) about it. To do that requires the ability to disagree, without an attitude of disagreableness. In other words, to agree with the “other” as much as you can, and to disagree with the “other” only as much you have to. (not to be confused with politicians only telling people what they want to hear). When I detect that attitude in the “other”, it allows me to feel safe and open up to that person, BIG TIME! This is in stark contrast to people with the attitude of “I call a spade a spade, and if others don’t like it, that’s their problem“. This of course, is a mean spirited confrontationalist attitude that arises out of the ego, because it is so proud that it “only tells the truth”. In my own unenlightened immaturity, I often am that way myself to reflect back to these “call a spade a spade” people their own medicine (aka childish spitefulness). But I also suffer the opposite polarity of playing the politician sometimes, though not as often as I used to.
I have loves teal for years and will keep watching her , she has help me a lot. there was one thing she said..it was a jab almost passive aggressive about how she doesn't like the sound of a trumbone..Blake is working on a song..catch the drift..I am a firm firm firm believer in not making someone feel ashamed of their art. that's their outlet ..she didn't need to say that it was just kind of hurtful for the sake of bei g hurtful not for the sake of improvement..ouch.. it reminds me of being a child and trying to learn guitar and being told to stop ..I never became the great guitar player I hoped to be..
Ashley Miller Hi. You should understand though that Teal is very self aware and said what she said to Blake purposely. There is nothing unloving by her saying that she doesn't like a particular instrument. Even the feeling of feeling "hurt" is just a projection in and of itself. It's unloving to have an expectation in the first place that someone should like something I've created, whether it's music or whatever else. Teal is purposely expressing to Blake that she has her own desires and her not liking something shouldn't effect Blake at all. She's not co-dependent with him and is trying to purposely show him that. He shouldn't have an expectation on anyone that they like his music and he shouldn't obtain value by people saying to him that they like it. If you feel you need that type of validation then it's just another co-dependent addiction. Teals comment triggered your own co-dependent emotions that you should address. She did nothing unloving, she just triggered him. She tried to take him up to a higher space of love.
Ashley Miller: Good catch. I understand where you're coming from, it doesn't feel good when someone close to us makes it blatantly obvious (even in a somewhat indirect way) that they don't like, accept, and/or approve of what we're passionate about. However, I'd like to give Teal a benefit of a doubt since she has generously gifted all of us with so much profound wisdom. So I wonder if she intentionally said that she doesn't like the sound of a trombone in order to motivate Blake to complete his song; perhaps he had self-doubts and even had a tendency to procrastinate (I can relate to that). Granted, such a seemingly insensitive expression can go both ways. For some people, saying such hurtful things to them can cause them to think, "Well I'll SHOW you!!" On the other hand, some (like you and I in the past) may convince themselves that another's lack or absence of interest in their passion means that they shouldn't pursue their heart's dreams. Ashley , I wish for you to become the great guitar player you desired to be since childhood. After all, you look very young and pretty in your pic, so why not go for it! It's NOT too late. ;-) Thank you for sharing your comment, because it also reminded me to believe in my own dreams despite a lack or absence of support from family members and so-called others.
I understand that you may have understood it the way you described, but I want to tell you how I understood it. I got it like - she just does not like the particular instrument - trombone. So, it's her PREFERENCE about a thing. Even if Blake was a master at trombone, she wouldn't like it - cause she doesn't like trombone! It's not about Blake, it's about the trombone. And, in the other hand, there are people who love trombone, so they might love his music. I hope this made you feel better ;-)
@@CharismaStrategies wow! i am new to this, and am a lot like B Lake but that is a bit robotic isn't it, its more human to be kind, its not a deep truth she is discussing its an instrument,I felt the same as Ashley MIller I am very sensitive and felt it as an unnecessary unkindness, can people not have different personal styles around being authentic,? we are all different
I enjoyed this because it brings up Teal's authenticity, vulnerability and openness about a need to control. So I actually saw this as them coaching each other. Part of that is the structure of their friendship which has her as the expert (control) and him as the facilitator (support). Though her tone is somewhat antagonistic, I agree that once you have spent time developing a self that is your own creation, rather than the one assigned to you by the scaries that made you a co-dependent in the first place, then you can accept others' judgement. It's not that someone is or is not objectively 'good,' but that they are willing to give up the death grip on the identity of being 'good.' As externally defined. You make up your own definition of good. The truth is he is good, but he can re-define good as having a core set of interests that nobody can ever manipulate him out of :)
i agree with the "to aggressive" comments.... you can hold a calm and safe space for someone while you show them some things about themselves that may not be easy for them to accept, BUT....i know it can be frustrating for people like teal so i understand, and sometimes its necessary ... maybe this was one of those times.. they have known each other for a long time so im sure she knew exactly what she was doing..! a gentle whisper is good,,, if the person your talking to isnt hard of hearing... . love your videos, mind and spirit ,... thank you for your good work..=)
I was disappointed in the tone of this video. Now that I have awakened to my codependent pattern, I’m seeking help, kindness, and understanding. Empathy was missing from this one T. Continuing to send you and your work vibrations of unconditional love. ✨
Thank you Teal, and also thank you for the man, you had the courage to do it. I find it disturbing when he was in the process with his shame, that the woman said: this is so bad. When a person is in a Deep process no one should comment the process from outside. 🧡
That chosen pressure. Coz it’s her passion, i guess. It’s natural for her, like where you are naturally drawn to. Like your purpose. But ppl keep on doing the other way which they aren’t naturally drawn to.
"The truth of my life is not what I know will make me look good." Boy did I overuse that one to manipulate and get my needs met, and try to make myself feel worthy. And where did it lead me? To the realization that only when I honestly express how I feel that makes me feel worthy and like I exist. Thank you for the video ✨
"You will get freedom with authenticity as well but this is the pressure of authenticity. It's the capacity to look someone in the face and say, the truth of my life is not ... what I know will make me look good."
R K.: I see where you're coming from, it can appear as though Teal has a strong judgment towards codependents, to include mentioning that they are worse than narcissists. If one is a codependent, and desiring to be honest about it, such harsh words and rough demeanor from another would make being one difficult to own. However, I'm going to give Teal a benefit of a doubt that by her being this way, she will somehow trigger those who are codependent to Be their authentic selves.
Hey Bea. Tough to here - but awareness is always a good first step.ITeal personally trained me and I specialize in helping people overcome codependency. If you feel the call, reach out to get my support. www.berlinbuddha.de/en-gb/rezensionen
This was such an eye opener and air refreshener for me. I am codependent/BPD/enmeshed and all of it is coming together to a head with this video and the explanation received here. It is the fuckin hardest thing to stop myself from faking and "serving", it feels like panic attacks when I stop that. So uncomfortable I don't know how Blake could stand there not doing anything at a certain point 😅
Wonderful, I think an important thing to also note is that you can be codependent by always playing the bad guy too. My mom used to only leave me alone when I admitted to being the villain and apologized and so I was always noting my faults and shortcomings and owning up to all my shadow in order to please her. I literally would play the villain to feed her approval and keep her emotionally satisfied. Maybe it’s less about being willing to be the bad person, and more about getting into a space where you don’t have to label it good or bad to find that approval and love for yourself,
there weren't many realizations until now in my life like the one that I'm a codependent and acting just like my parents. it was one of the most miserable in my life but it helped me so much.
I am aware I have codependent patterns. This video helped me see what the patterns do. I am always trying to be the good person. Codependency patterns prevent me being seen as the bad person, weak person, the incapable person, the angry person, the fragile person and ultimately not taking responsibility for myself and accepting myself as human with needs and wants. It projects an image of trying to be perfect, lovely, non threatening person to the world. It also tends to make me feel invisible in the world and creates tension within myself. I am aware I hide away from the world using this pattern, to be safe, to remove the pressure.. Being too nice works against me if it is not aligned to my centre, to my needs and wants. It prevents me from having meaningful aithentic relationships in the world. A defense pattern to help me be safe, which as a child I may have learned to cope with my world to prevent myself being rejected and abandoned. Unfortunately it still happens though. It does not help me grow as an adult and be open to aithentic relationships. Yes I am human with all that I am, good or bad. Thank you Teal for sharing this video and your perspective on these issues.
When you begin to put away codependency and people pleasing,it really does cause an upheaval….but the feeling of being complete and present,is PRICELESS.
Mariyeen Acheege it's like that face you see from Kristen Stewart but she calls it her resting face. Tells people she's not angry but that is how she looks, but to other people looking at her it seams like she is and as I work in retail and have done since I was 15 your face is the first thing people see and if you are being moody and authentic because you are mad customers won't come to you they'll rather go to someone who is friendly and approachable. I might have a terrible morning but for work you smile when you don't feel like it because you have to - nobody wants to be served by the moody authentic person, they'll think what's the matter with her? I'll report her because she's not some one I want to be served by or in other situations if I see somebody in a mood I think I'll leave them till they've calmed down I don't fancy my head getting bitten off, or other people think don't wind them up, they're in a mood leave them alone
Mariyeen Acheege obviously because this is a site about authenticty I understand why you don't agree, but when Teal does smile, you can see how her whole demeanour lights up and she's really attractive. I believe thats the case for most people. I put most of that from a retail perspective and as a person, I'd feel nervous going up to someone who is scowling away. Even though there is a science based on bad moods are good for you
absolutely stunning synchronicity to my deciding and passionately committing to help spiritual codependents to recover and be happy and free (as a CPCP) xoxo Teal : )
Her candor and her honesty is such an attractive and refreshing quality. She says, "Yes, I'm a teacher on this field...but i'm ALSO human and I have these same issues. Here is how I learned to overcome and integrate my emotions...if you apply these to YOUR life, it may help as well" Thank you for being who you are and sharing it with the rest of us. Question: Is it possible to, once you recognize that co-dependency, to re-evaluate and turn the relationship into an authentic one?
Wow. I can't even imagine how much energy Teal has put into Blake seeing his behaviour, and his opportunity to grow. I wonder if he ever took it. I was in the same situation my mate was Teal and I was Blake, but I did the work and honour my mates authenticity and how much of herself she risked for me. I did eventually honour it and her.
I think it is also important to remember that Blake took Teal in during her hardest times. Could there be a beneficial side to Blake's co-dependency coping mechanism? Understanding the source of his co-dependency, i.e. childhood trauma/ coping mechanisms and the like may be beneficial?
Please do more videos where you point out codependency behavior. I haven't seen anyone else do it and it's incredibly helpful to spot my blind spots. Thanks by the way.
That thing about the conflicts everywhere around the codependent people. It hit me hard. I was beginning to feel that, but now I can see that clearly. I want to stop it. It’s terrible. Those people who I use to justify my unavailability just don’t deserve that! They should not act as a sort of a scapegoat. Thank you Teal 🙌
Pressure = tension= energy, We are all co-dependant on energy. That is a fact, because one can not be in life without energy, period! So I personally understand that we are all seeking energy from each other whether it is in a malevolent/ narcissistic or benevolent / empathetic way. I also see like Teal is saying that with Blake and a lot of other men out there in society, is that they don't address the tension/energy in life and "man-up" to it all and be authentic within themselves!. Instead they shy away from it all and try to be the "good guy. " But in reality that is being co-dependant and fake and not a nice guy at all.
Personally i think his comment about the camera wasn't coming from a codependent place but just a place of wanting to make sure she got a good video. Perhaps he was responsible for it and he wanted to make sure he did not screw it up. Because if he had not said anything then perhaps the video was screwed and guess who got a wooping then?
There's nothing wrong with Blake. This is who he is. Everybody has their issues and everybody is codependent. All of us need something from the other person in a relationship. Blake needs Teal to tell him what's wrong with him, and Teal needs someone to fix and preach to. This is the kind of cycle that keeps people residing in a spiritual community trying to change who they are, when in fact, it can never be done. People can change their lifestyles or certain habits, but who you are at your core, is permanent.
shinymetallicpurplearmor So do you think the whole spiritual community is bullshit with codependent narcissist guru's who needs to tell other people what's wrong with them and how to fix it. We the people that keep going to them are enabling the codependent narcissist guru's by feeding them ?
No offense, but what you said is your opinion, not fact. We CAN heal our emotional injuries (co-dependency). If you're in a relationship to get something physically or emotionally from someone, then you shouldn't be in that relationship. We should be going into relationships to give the gift of love without expectation. Your comment advocates and justifies dysfunctional behaviour. Our emotional injuries are a result of bad parenting and the unloving environments we grew up in without unconditional love. Our emotional injuries can be healed, our injuries are not who we are at our core, thus meaning, our co-dependent behaviour doesn't HAVE to be permanent if we heal our emotional injuries. We need to dig deep and look our fears as to why we demand things from others emotionally, because love isn't a demand. We also need to look at why we're all so scared to be completely ourselves with others. It can all be worked through, it just takes some time and us all being sincere with ourselves. Our injuries don't have to be permanent. It's our own choice.
+Nostagic_Chaos That's all bullshit though. People don't work like that. You're literally brainwashing yourself into feeling better by all that woowoo about "unconditional love" bullshit and "just giving never receiving." LOL. Look the fuck around you? Which natural entity doesn't receive? Can you name just ONE? NO SUCH THING. Trees suck water and minerals and light. Bugs eat stuff. Animals eat stuff. Everything consumes something else for energy. You're just repressing a side of yourself with the new agey mumbo jumbo. VERY BAD ADVICE especially when it comes to relationships! It's what actually CREATES codependent people! "Oh I will just love them unconditionally so sooner or later things MUST GET BETTER!" Lol no! Quit peddling that BS. Peace out.
stacey holba I'm not sure if your comment was to me, but it's not a perspective. It's personal experience. If you was talking to the other person, then I apologise.
Man.. isn't Teal 🦢 THE deflecting MASTER!!! Totally Counter Attack Queen👑 🙌🏻 Best advice I can offer anyone with self esteem issues, like I had/have is to.. "Walk into ANY Room like you basically OWN the damn place..." it works when you have that down 👇🏻 MENTALITY.. But, like everything in this life, use in moderation.. That's MY Truth, about confidence anyways...
Watching this definitely makes me feel like Throwing up. My truth is unsavory. That makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. But that’s okay....Teal told him (me) to become okay with discomfort because that’s authenticity (in this situation). Wow.
See, the benefit of having a video of this rather then a one time experience with you Teal is I might have expressed any sort of feeling before i walked away yet honestly the first time I watch it I'm reacting by emotion like I would have in person but since I really want to be practical I dig in and watch it several times. Teal, thankyou from the heart. These last few days I'm blown away by this. This is the best work I have personally see from you that so hits home with me. No therapist has ever brought me to this level.
I love this. I am this way. I thrive under pressure. Some cower under pressure but that's because they have no stood in their power. When they realize its not worth living an inauthentic life of unfulfillment, a life of a phoney that they didn't sign up for directly, they will take responsibility and face what they need to face to be truthful.
Been rewatching this video and it seems like she is being the mother figure to tell Blake what to do and how to be. I'm wondering if she is selfaware? She puts him into his shame like a mother would who doesn't approve of her child. Maybe that's her wound? What about the stuff teal does for her selfconcept? Like wearing all these fancy clothes and make up and making everything look nice for the viewer. It almost seems like she wants everyone to stop and do an be and think how she wants it and thinks it's right. Didn't Blake take her in when she was all fucked up? If he wasn't codependent like that teal might have not gotten out of her misery? It saved her life no? Why change it
Isn't her whole life based on helping people and the concept that she is a spiritual teacher who has all the answers? Why is this not codependency or is ok but what Blake does isn't?
the wild thing is that codependents think their behavior causes everyone to like them but ever since I've started setting boundaries and speaking my truth more I find it so incredibly attractive when someone is doing the same. I feel myself respecting that person more. Lately it irritates me when someone is always giving everything they have to everyone... like stop it. You need to stand up for yourself girl. It makes me mad to be honest.
Everything exists as an energy state. This conversation could be about anything. It is the responsibility of the aware. You now have the keys and the wheel. Choose the state
This video is uncomfortable for me, but that's entirely the point. Teal shows how masterfully Blake gets the common person on his side. We that are like Blake sit here watching thinking "Poor Blake! She's being so hard on him! He's a nice guy!" which is exactly what Teal wants to address. My guess is that she's had this conversation with him SO...MANY...TIMES that she is frustrated that he's not doing the work. Codependents don't do the work because they are obsessed with being liked and also obsessed with comfort. Teal is saying "Sit here in this discomfort. Sit here in not having my approval. You're going to survive it so stop resisting it. I'm not going to let you charm your way out of it". If you're codependent then you're probably an approval junkie. If you're an approval junkie there's no supply quite like the empathetic therapist.
u have to wonder if a person like blake can or even wants to change? maybe its just their core personality/nature? he even looks very calm and mild, whereas teal's look is intense, her eyes, cheekbones etc. i think sometimes u can tell a person's personality by their features
JoeQuery good observations
JoeQuery wow, you stated that beautifully also! I have agreed with a few comments on this video, even if it looks contradictory.
@@corsicanlulu interesting, I like that. I have a darkness to me. Many think im older than what I am. Although I am no where near as beautiful/gorgeous as Teal, I have high cheekbones and long dark hair. I think there may be studies on personalities and features....gonna look into that, thanks!
I get what you have written here and what Teal says in the video.
When Teal gets passionate about inauthentic mothers, I can tell she's speaking from a rough childhood. I want to hug her.
💕take care Teal. To the extreme..
She wants to be so free and for everyone to change and she is still in bondage
"Your capacity to heal from codependency rests on your capacity to see yourself as not good" Damn I really need to watch this some 2 3 times to get into the crux of it
After a lifetime of being dysfunctional, toxic, and codependent...I'm just now at the point where I am accepting that I have been the bad guy. Finally taking accountability and it hurts so much. Hopefully this is where the healing begins.
It's funny how he actually became more attractive to me when he finally surrendered to his truth at the end. Authenticity is damn sexy.
It is evidence of spiritual growth to accept undesirable tasks that may not make you look good. This is truly service to others rather than service to self. 💗
Watched this two years ago and was clueless but BOY, do I know what she’s talking about now.
Robyn Clark big ass facts LMFAO
She never fails to blow my mind.
"Your healing from co-dependency rests on your capacity to see yourself as 'not good'".
In all my years I have not come across a woman as smart as Teal. She's a female version of Einstein and a myriad of spiritual leaders combined. It's as if she was a being from another dimension and one could not help but marvel at her intellect and spirituality. She's one amazing woman!
Neil Goloy holy crap. Agreed!
What about letting her be what she really is? Why compare? Because we people don't have enough value or meaningfulness on our own.
It is the life that she have lived and the choices that she made what is so great about her.
Comparing her to Einstein, a man who helped create the atom bomb, I don't know that you realised that comparing is a dangerous thing.
Let people be who they truly are inside!
Joris Vander Cammen It's just an opinion, and what I said will not change anything about her, nor am I preventing her from being who she truly is on the inside. Einstein was just an example because he was one of the smartest people I know. and I can't think of a female genius at the moment. I also never considered Einstein as an evil man. But anyway, I'm sorry to have offended you over such a little thing. I hope this puts an end to the matter. I will also unsubscribe from this channel to avoid coming across you again. Good day.
Neil Goloy: It sounds like you're a huge fan of Teal, so why allow another's opinion---which they have every right to freely and fully express---negatively affect your subscription to her channel?
That seems more of a disservice to her and her team, who didn't do anything wrong from your perspective.
From a neutral perspective, both you and Joris have valid points, and you're on the same Teal Team. ;-).
Barbara D Thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it. I honestly think that the wisdom of teal cannot be found anywhere else. But this is how I put troublesome issues to rest on You Tube, by apologizing and leaving. I'm actually just a new subscriber here. I don't think the loss of one subscriber would have any effect on this channel whatsoever. Anyway, I have learned something from this experience. You're a wonderful person and I thank you once again for taking the time to address this situation. Namaste. :-)
I'm literally Blake
hey! :( sad to hear. Teal trained me as a completion process practitioner and if you feel called to use that and other cool methods so that you embody self love, stop pleasing others and attracting toxic/manipulative people, feel free to reach out! : )
www.berlinbuddha.de/en-gb/rezensionen
then get yourself some help and you won't get it here- get some real help
Me too.
But don't feel like you're a monster or that you need professional help just because you've realized and admitted this about yourself. You've done a great thing for yourself.
thabk you for admitting it, it helps
Watched her in 5 videos today. Must have saved me many months or years of therapy in just one day. Amazing!
For everyone commenting about how Teal is "making him feel":
No one can make you feel any sort of way.
Its your choice to feel whatever it is you want to feel with your perception of the situation.
When people speak, its more of a reflection about themselves than it is about you.
Doesn't help to take everything so personally.
Such a great video! Really helped me seeing myself in a new way. Thanks Teal!
Leilani Puerto thats not
True let’s seee hmmmmm lets have someone kill your pet and see if you don’t feel
Sad and angry... 😂
As a codependent, this is such a blessing to be able to see this in action from the outside. My false self will deny the exact things that Blake does in this video to not look at his shame and pain. In a way, this provides hope that this is something that can be worked through and not a feeling of despair for not been authentic.
I think codependency and narcissism are similar bc the wound stems from the same place. Hence like attracts like. But codependents are not worse than narcissists. Narcissism is a personality disorder, codependency is not. Codependency can be cured narcissism can not ( it’s very rare) . Narcissistic people are cruel and enjoy hurting others . Codependency is not aimed to hurt others. Codependents are not narcissistic but they attract them for sure. Narcissists like codependents Bc they are attracted to people they can dominate and manipulate . However both narcissists and codependents operate from a deep belief in lack. They are living their lives from a vibration and a stare of lack. They are the opposite sides of the same coin. Thus they attract one another to each other based on the scale of the depth of the wound. In the end they both are suffering, bc they believe in the illusion of lack. Lack does not exist.
True but it's different sides of the same stick. narcs hurt people an co dependents use people. when they're together they're literally using and manipulating the other in cycles lol
Both only care about their own needs.
Narcs wouldn’t exist without codependents, that’s why they’re worse.
narcisissm can be healed when the core wound is addressed. co-dependend people hurt others very much and dont even realize it. getting hurt by co-dependend sissy behaviour hurts just as much as narcistic abuse... its actually the same, you just said is yourself...
Actually, codependency is vulnerable narcissism.
According to Teal, narcissism is not a personality disorder, it is an adaptation to trauma. Like she says in the video, codependency is worse than narcissism because codependency IS narcissism, but hide it behind being "good":)
Huge fear that being authentic will leave me ostracized and alone.
Being inauthentic is what leaves you truly alone. When people love the mask, you are not receiving their love at all.
@@stephaniewallace8673 That is an interesting perspective! I think that is true. Being loved for someone you are not, would leave a person very invalid.
@@stephaniewallace8673 That was actually put beautifully, however it doesn’t seem like either is an option. One allows them to stay longer, and the other doesn’t. Either way, they leave
It’s the opposite. You get “left alone”by people who are incompatible with you but then you get to meet the people who love who you are. Which is waaay better
Amen!!!!
The way Teal was talking about her relationship with pressure, I completely relate. I have so much energy that a certain kind of pressure allows me to narrow that energy down and focus on one thing instead of a million. I'm an independent artist and my work has always been better when it's for an art class or competition opposed to my own independent work.
thank u blake for being me for me!
Isabella Basteri agreed!
We are what we are. I would say, from a lifetime of wonderful experiences, that I served others to my best abilities. It is those gifts that makes me one of the richest men in California.
Stars are idols. The financially successful barely know themselves. The liars and thieves rob and steal and lie only to themselves in the end.
I have given everything I was asked to give---and I still have more.
*"If one is not giving it, love, then one is just not getting it"*
♒🐡💗✡
@@carefulcarpenter That is such nice wording.
Wow, thank you all for bringing this video into my life.
I love how honest Blake is in this video. It really proves how deeply automated our patterns for survival are. They are not bad per se, like nothing can be, they are just not helping us achieve what we want today.
It's uncanny how many times this channels content is directly applicable on my life. I wanted to get away from some pressure.
Now I understand that I need to accept that I am not going to be loved by everyone and that I will not succeed in everything. And this is okay. I don't have to be perfect to be loved.
Yet I am the one who needs to accept what is truly inside me and integrate it, take ownership.
Now onwards to the pressure! :-$
Another mind blowing moment w Teal. This woman has given me my life back.
Yes. I’m an empath but also codependent and appreciate u pointing out the truths and flaws as well. We sometimes focus on narcs and not our own passive aggressiveness
I’ve watched a lot of Teal’s videos so far, but I’ve only seen her conversate with two of her very supportive coworkers---Blake and the blond, wavy-haired female whose name escapes me---who both seem to be gentle souls, yet, somewhat passive beings.
I find the relationship dynamic between Teal and these two coworkers interesting and somewhat familiar. I sense that Teal’s varying degrees of aggressive communication style (verbal and non-verbal) to Blake is intentional, and stems from unconditional love, whereas my mother’s way of being stemmed from unawareness, selfishness and conditional love (ultimately stemmed from deep fear).
For instance, my ‘self-sacrificer’ mother---a wounded wounder/lost soul---is known to have a very aggressive personality within my extended family. Most of my relatives walk on egg shells around her, but one of my aunts---who I refer to as Buddha aunt since she’s an unconventional monk---doesn’t take any crap from her though she’s one of my mom’s younger sisters. So the tone that my mom uses towards her is different than the one she uses towards others.
What I’ve learned from their unique relationship (and like others that I’ve known throughout my life)---as well as my personal experiences with my mom---is that the aggressive personality (who doesn’t come from love) WILL back down if they realize that another has created healthy boundaries.
During my adulthood, whenever my mother was very verbally aggressive towards me, and I was passive, she would be more manipulative and extremely controlling. However, when I learned to be assertive with her, and even aggressive at times when needed, she would back the f*** off and even speak gently all of a sudden (which seemed magical).
There’s nothing wrong with honoring all of our emotions and expressing an emotion like anger in healthy ways (i.e., NOT injuring another, killing another, destroying another’s vehicle, committing arson, etc.).
However, I trust that it's also about knowing when to use the tool of aggression (to varying degrees) to highly benefit self and interconnected others, and not habitually misusing and/or abusing it to feel in control of others, and thus powerful (with a small p)---which is the opposite of Divine Power that's used in conjunction with Divine Love and Divine Wisdom.
May Teal deeply trigger her two coworkers (and like others) to rebirth the tiger and tigress in them, the way my own mother unknowingly did for my aunt and I (a blessing in disguise).
Another observation: There's nothing wrong with very briefly wanting to ensure that the camera is focused good for the audience; I trust that Blake was simply being thoughtful and business smart since it makes sense to show on camera both parties conversating.
Now if Blake continued focusing more towards the camera/audience during his conversation with Teal---the way Ralph Smart did in one of his videos with Teal---then THAT could be perceived as being codependent.
In that scenario, it appeared as though Ralph wasn't fully present with her and what she had to passionately vent; but rather, was more focused on making various facial expressions while looking mostly into the camera and being the center of attention. I shared my observations in a comment.
Teal saying that she likes the following type of chosen pressure sounds like the very thing she taught NOT to Be and do (savior mentality/rescuer/rescue mode), which is the same low/dense/fear-based energy as narcissism (both stemming from the belief that love is NOT abundant and that Source within ALL of Life cannot be trusted):
“I need you to put my life together again. Tell me what to f***ing do with that! [...] The idea of having someone’s like life and vulnerability in my hands, and having me be totally responsible for that, I can totally step up to that.”
From 10:32 - 11:11 minutes of this video, Teal almost gets away with damn near confusing the F*** out of not only Blake, but me as well. She basically paraphrases what he said, but makes it seems as though HE doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. :-D
WOMAN, you so funny.And Blake cracks me up with all of his lovable, non-verbal cues that Teal seems oblivious to at times! ^_^
Blake has a fear of others’ judgment toward him while he’s on stage---which is a very common, collective fear---and that explains why Teal seems to be showing him that she doesn’t like the sound of trombones, so that he can get used to another not liking, accepting and/or approving of his passion, and being completely okay with it.
Teal getting on Blake’s @$$ back to back to back could make anyone uncomfortable to simply Be oneself without judgment, and to freely and fully express oneself.
So you’re telling me that whenever Blake expresses anything positive, he’s not being authentic? Sounds like a MEGA load of doo doo. I have no doubt that he has genuine moments of authenticity, but when enough people, who he cares about, convinces him otherwise, then he may end up believing them over his own intuition.
Instead of putting self and/or others in earthly boxes such as good or bad, right or wrong, light or dark, etc., why not embrace ALL aspects of the whole, Multidimensional self/Self?
Nonetheless, thank you guys for Being an invaluable gift to self/Self, interconnected humanity, Mother Earth, merging worlds, and beyond.
I liked your comment because often I feel that there's a lot of ego in some of the ways Teal interacts with people and it rubs me wrong. I recognize that I too have a strongly assertive personality and it is a struggle for me to have proper awareness around it.
This comment is very much interesting,but I think what teal was aiming at its literally what you said in the end,I don't think Blake doesn't has positive authentic moments;I think that she was exactly trying to make his truth come up EVEN IF she was not okay with it.Like when she said she doesn't like the trombone and playing an instrument when his truth was that he loved doing It.
Teal you can always surgically understand. So many of us have such a great fear of this therefore are stuck, not able to have compassion not able to love. Not able to be themselves. You're the only one that in a short video , outline and bring to light problems that plague us all. So grateful for you surgeon Teal! Peace and love to you always:)
I love Teal's group around her! They obviously all are put on "the hot seat" every now and then and they all are clearly working on their own growth. I love seeing that on camera! These people are authentic in the sense that they are TRYING their best to get it and to try and apply it to their lives. Hats off to you guys!
You see, I don't see Teal being hard on any of her staff. She's DIRECT. And she's working with them, and they're willing to work with her. She's not interested in playing games. She wants to dive deep into the topics and really work on them with her staff. It's great to see real examples as they try to get it and understand it. It's EXACTLY what I'm going thru in my OWN life, even if it's not the same examples, it's always the same topics. ALL of us go thru these things at one time or another. It's FRICKIN' AWESOME to see these things coming into awareness and then being able to start to let go of them!
i feel so terrible for him at the end but he helped loads of people as well as himself by going through that on camera.
I would love to see an update of "what Blake has learned" four years later!
“Authenticity is the capacity to look someone in the face and say ‘the truth of my life is what I know will not make me look good.’”
Oh loooord have mercy. That spot right there hit me in my soul, I had to replay it. I’ve been hiding my true self because I know it’s unsavory... and I guess it’s a fear of conflict? A fear of consequence? A fear of not being loved, liked, accepted? A fear of judgement? A fear of the negative emotions that come from that? Unworthiness?
I have a lot to unpack here 😩 I didn’t realize it until the end of a relationship triggered some deep wounds that, of course, can be traced back to childhood.. so deep down the rabbit hole I go with all these labels trying to figure it out, co-dependency, narcissism, all the different kinds of wounds... abandonment wounds, attachment style wounds... 🥴
I was expecting someone would pop in the end and talk about her behaviour being codependent. I am not a therapist, but her condescending, superior, didactic tone seemed completely feeding her codependent self. Codependents are not only mainstream nice, but can be righteous, useful, all- knowing. She knows the truth and is willing to teach him. Fits with her loving to have the power of someone else's life in her hands
Being a recovering codependent (lol) this is my number one favorite workshop video. And I need to watch this multiple more times.
love the long term relationship you have with Blake. Even though your love for him is strong, it will take his own suffering to have the ability to understand what he does to counter the suffering. We all learn the wrong or right way to nonsuffering.. like yourself, if one suffers enough they will find a way to find non-suffering. If the effort to counter the suffering is minimal then the suffering will continue. Sometimes we choose this before we came to the planet. We choose how to suffer," before we get here" in order to experience life on the planet for a different reason. Even if the reason is for 10 seconds to smell a flower in the jungle. Our lives revolve around filling the Karmic Contract we agreed to before we came for this event. Our choices are our own as long as we understand that it is contractual. Right from wrong...we learn as we go. Blake needs a long term break serving others outside your community. The becoming humble part is a solo journey. It takes giving all and everything up to find the self. You, Teal, has had the opportunity to be forced into finding sanctuary. This is a co-dependent action. It might still take some time to find the solo journey you still desire. From one Gemini to another...at times, our minds are still fractured from the cults that found our birth date. It is possible to defragment the mind using help from your core guides. If anyone who feels co-dependant and doesn't understand the syndrome then a red road event should be taken. A solo trip with the self and the world, leaving all dependencies behind. One would be like you..in a pit with ants. Eventually, they will figure it out on their own, depending on how determined they are. I have all the respect in the world for you. Thanks for coming to the planet to share your experience and heal others...Cheers.
I feel you teal about the pressure thing. I loved university exams. Sitting down for a final exam I actually got butterflies in my stomach. I absolutely loved the feeling of being able to demonstrate my extensive knowledge on a particular topic.
The best teacher by far who heals codependency is Lisa A. Romano.
What Teal said about inauthentic mothers was so relatable to me. It felt like she was talking about me. That is the exact relationship dynamic I have with my mother lol.
all I can say is DAMN. After watching this i literally I had to face my codependency up front in a relationship where I would double down and shift blame just to avoid feeling shame. I never wanted to sit with it long enough to feel freedom from it. Thank you for this
To the dude that is in this video, you helped me. Don't let this get at you. No shame here. You are me in all your self talk and outward talk and I learned allot.
Teal Swan seems to be a master of being able to tell the truth (which to our inauthentic selves is putting on the “pressure”) without being mean (adding needless pressure) about it. To do that requires the ability to disagree, without an attitude of disagreableness. In other words, to agree with the “other” as much as you can, and to disagree with the “other” only as much you have to. (not to be confused with politicians only telling people what they want to hear). When I detect that attitude in the “other”, it allows me to feel safe and open up to that person, BIG TIME!
This is in stark contrast to people with the attitude of “I call a spade a spade, and if others don’t like it, that’s their problem“. This of course, is a mean spirited confrontationalist attitude that arises out of the ego, because it is so proud that it “only tells the truth”.
In my own unenlightened immaturity, I often am that way myself to reflect back to these “call a spade a spade” people their own medicine (aka childish spitefulness). But I also suffer the opposite polarity of playing the politician sometimes, though not as often as I used to.
I have loves teal for years and will keep watching her , she has help me a lot. there was one thing she said..it was a jab almost passive aggressive about how she doesn't like the sound of a trumbone..Blake is working on a song..catch the drift..I am a firm firm firm believer in not making someone feel ashamed of their art. that's their outlet ..she didn't need to say that it was just kind of hurtful for the sake of bei g hurtful not for the sake of improvement..ouch.. it reminds me of being a child and trying to learn guitar and being told to stop ..I never became the great guitar player I hoped to be..
Ashley Miller Hi. You should understand though that Teal is very self aware and said what she said to Blake purposely. There is nothing unloving by her saying that she doesn't like a particular instrument. Even the feeling of feeling "hurt" is just a projection in and of itself. It's unloving to have an expectation in the first place that someone should like something I've created, whether it's music or whatever else. Teal is purposely expressing to Blake that she has her own desires and her not liking something shouldn't effect Blake at all. She's not co-dependent with him and is trying to purposely show him that. He shouldn't have an expectation on anyone that they like his music and he shouldn't obtain value by people saying to him that they like it. If you feel you need that type of validation then it's just another co-dependent addiction. Teals comment triggered your own co-dependent emotions that you should address. She did nothing unloving, she just triggered him. She tried to take him up to a higher space of love.
Ashley Miller: Good catch. I understand where you're coming from, it doesn't feel good when someone close to us makes it blatantly obvious (even in a somewhat indirect way) that they don't like, accept, and/or approve of what we're passionate about.
However, I'd like to give Teal a benefit of a doubt since she has generously gifted all of us with so much profound wisdom.
So I wonder if she intentionally said that she doesn't like the sound of a trombone in order to motivate Blake to complete his song; perhaps he had self-doubts and even had a tendency to procrastinate (I can relate to that).
Granted, such a seemingly insensitive expression can go both ways. For some people, saying such hurtful things to them can cause them to think, "Well I'll SHOW you!!" On the other hand, some (like you and I in the past) may convince themselves that another's lack or absence of interest in their passion means that they shouldn't pursue their heart's dreams.
Ashley , I wish for you to become the great guitar player you desired to be since childhood. After all, you look very young and pretty in your pic, so why not go for it! It's NOT too late. ;-)
Thank you for sharing your comment, because it also reminded me to believe in my own dreams despite a lack or absence of support from family members and so-called others.
I understand that you may have understood it the way you described, but I want to tell you how I understood it. I got it like - she just does not like the particular instrument - trombone. So, it's her PREFERENCE about a thing. Even if Blake was a master at trombone, she wouldn't like it - cause she doesn't like trombone! It's not about Blake, it's about the trombone. And, in the other hand, there are people who love trombone, so they might love his music. I hope this made you feel better ;-)
@@CharismaStrategies wow! i am new to this, and am a lot like B Lake but that is a bit robotic isn't it, its more human to be kind, its not a deep truth she is discussing its an instrument,I felt the same as Ashley MIller I am very sensitive and felt it as an unnecessary unkindness, can people not have different personal styles around being authentic,? we are all different
I dont see anything wrong with Blake. Being a kind caring person is not codependency. He just seems polite....
I enjoyed this because it brings up Teal's authenticity, vulnerability and openness about a need to control. So I actually saw this as them coaching each other. Part of that is the structure of their friendship which has her as the expert (control) and him as the facilitator (support). Though her tone is somewhat antagonistic, I agree that once you have spent time developing a self that is your own creation, rather than the one assigned to you by the scaries that made you a co-dependent in the first place, then you can accept others' judgement. It's not that someone is or is not objectively 'good,' but that they are willing to give up the death grip on the identity of being 'good.' As externally defined. You make up your own definition of good. The truth is he is good, but he can re-define good as having a core set of interests that nobody can ever manipulate him out of :)
i agree with the "to aggressive" comments.... you can hold a calm and safe space for someone while you show them some things about themselves that may not be easy for them to accept,
BUT....i know it can be frustrating for people like teal so i understand, and sometimes its necessary ... maybe this was one of those times.. they have known each other for a long time so im sure she knew exactly what she was doing..! a gentle whisper is good,,, if the person your talking to isnt hard of hearing... . love your videos, mind and spirit ,... thank you for your good work..=)
I was disappointed in the tone of this video. Now that I have awakened to my codependent pattern, I’m seeking help, kindness, and understanding. Empathy was missing from this one T.
Continuing to send you and your work vibrations of unconditional love. ✨
You need to feel the shame(that isn’t even valid ) that’s what he is running from..to face the pressure of being authentic .
Thank you Teal, and also thank you for the man, you had the courage to do it.
I find it disturbing when he was in the process with his shame, that the woman said: this is so bad.
When a person is in a Deep process no one should comment the process from outside. 🧡
That chosen pressure. Coz it’s her passion, i guess. It’s natural for her, like where you are naturally drawn to. Like your purpose. But ppl keep on doing the other way which they aren’t naturally drawn to.
That assertive and direct approach gives me energy, i get ignited with femenine energy mixed that way. Thank you for sharing.
"The truth of my life is not what I know will make me look good." Boy did I overuse that one to manipulate and get my needs met, and try to make myself feel worthy. And where did it lead me? To the realization that only when I honestly express how I feel that makes me feel worthy and like I exist. Thank you for the video ✨
I LOVE LOVE LOVE those angry faces! It’s so real and refreshing! You’re real, Teal 🤣🙃🤡😉 such a ♊️!
Continuously loving Teal and Blake's interactions.
"You will get freedom with authenticity as well but this is the pressure of authenticity. It's the capacity to look someone in the face and say, the truth of my life is not ... what I know will make me look good."
Teal definitely made it for herself not ok to be codependent. No compation for their pain.
R K.: I see where you're coming from, it can appear as though Teal has a strong judgment towards codependents, to include mentioning that they are worse than narcissists.
If one is a codependent, and desiring to be honest about it, such harsh words and rough demeanor from another would make being one difficult to own.
However, I'm going to give Teal a benefit of a doubt that by her being this way, she will somehow trigger those who are codependent to Be their authentic selves.
@@barbarad4569 Fair. And a cool perspective.
You're right Teal! 💯%
I am a hot mess, codependent!
Hey Bea. Tough to here - but awareness is always a good first step.ITeal personally trained me and I specialize in helping people overcome codependency. If you feel the call, reach out to get my support. www.berlinbuddha.de/en-gb/rezensionen
She's the best spiritual surgeon so far to my ...
This is 20 minute of pure reflection of codependency 😍 Thank you Blake and Teal for your honesty.
This was such an eye opener and air refreshener for me. I am codependent/BPD/enmeshed and all of it is coming together to a head with this video and the explanation received here. It is the fuckin hardest thing to stop myself from faking and "serving", it feels like panic attacks when I stop that. So uncomfortable I don't know how Blake could stand there not doing anything at a certain point 😅
Wonderful, I think an important thing to also note is that you can be codependent by always playing the bad guy too. My mom used to only leave me alone when I admitted to being the villain and apologized and so I was always noting my faults and shortcomings and owning up to all my shadow in order to please her. I literally would play the villain to feed her approval and keep her emotionally satisfied. Maybe it’s less about being willing to be the bad person, and more about getting into a space where you don’t have to label it good or bad to find that approval and love for yourself,
Synchronicity!!!!! Again ...love you Teal..just as i needed it 😳 xx
Wow Teal...you are amazing! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.
"It's an appropriate reaction to be horrified" Amen, Sistah!
there weren't many realizations until now in my life like the one that I'm a codependent and acting just like my parents. it was one of the most miserable in my life but it helped me so much.
Honest, uncomfortable and raw for both of them. Thank you
I am aware I have codependent patterns. This video helped me see what the patterns do. I am always trying to be the good person. Codependency patterns prevent me being seen as the bad person, weak person, the incapable person, the angry person, the fragile person and ultimately not taking responsibility for myself and accepting myself as human with needs and wants. It projects an image of trying to be perfect, lovely, non threatening person to the world. It also tends to make me feel invisible in the world and creates tension within myself. I am aware I hide away from the world using this pattern, to be safe, to remove the pressure.. Being too nice works against me if it is not aligned to my centre, to my needs and wants. It prevents me from having meaningful aithentic relationships in the world. A defense pattern to help me be safe, which as a child I may have learned to cope with my world to prevent myself being rejected and abandoned. Unfortunately it still happens though. It does not help me grow as an adult and be open to aithentic relationships. Yes I am human with all that I am, good or bad. Thank you Teal for sharing this video and your perspective on these issues.
the pressure thing wow couldnt have said it better
Teal you are so badass. Blake it's nice to see you on camera, you guys were so natural here and love the rapport you have with each other.
When you begin to put away codependency and people pleasing,it really does cause an upheaval….but the feeling of being complete and present,is PRICELESS.
Ah ha that her mad face. But watch how her face lights up when she smiles 😊
Mariyeen Acheege it's like that face you see from Kristen Stewart but she calls it her resting face. Tells people she's not angry but that is how she looks, but to other people looking at her it seams like she is and as I work in retail and have done since I was 15 your face is the first thing people see and if you are being moody and authentic because you are mad customers won't come to you they'll rather go to someone who is friendly and approachable. I might have a terrible morning but for work you smile when you don't feel like it because you have to - nobody wants to be served by the moody authentic person, they'll think what's the matter with her? I'll report her because she's not some one I want to be served by or in other situations if I see somebody in a mood I think I'll leave them till they've calmed down I don't fancy my head getting bitten off, or other people think don't wind them up, they're in a mood leave them alone
Mariyeen Acheege obviously because this is a site about authenticty I understand why you don't agree, but when Teal does smile, you can see how her whole demeanour lights up and she's really attractive. I believe thats the case for most people. I put most of that from a retail perspective and as a person, I'd feel nervous going up to someone who is scowling away. Even though there is a science based on bad moods are good for you
Blake and Teal just demonstrated to me onness, authentic mirroring to the core.
absolutely stunning synchronicity to my deciding and passionately committing to help spiritual codependents to recover and be happy and free (as a CPCP) xoxo Teal : )
It’s been always a great help from you. Thank you.
Her candor and her honesty is such an attractive and refreshing quality. She says, "Yes, I'm a teacher on this field...but i'm ALSO human and I have these same issues. Here is how I learned to overcome and integrate my emotions...if you apply these to YOUR life, it may help as well" Thank you for being who you are and sharing it with the rest of us. Question: Is it possible to, once you recognize that co-dependency, to re-evaluate and turn the relationship into an authentic one?
I do mean in a romantic relationship...
Wow. I can't even imagine how much energy Teal has put into Blake seeing his behaviour, and his opportunity to grow. I wonder if he ever took it. I was in the same situation my mate was Teal and I was Blake, but I did the work and honour my mates authenticity and how much of herself she risked for me. I did eventually honour it and her.
couldnt be anymore perfect
Hello! Blake who you are, trying to be a good person is exactely what i do, it's so me. Thanks for being able to expose it Blake and Teal.
I think it is also important to remember that Blake took Teal in during her hardest times. Could there be a beneficial side to Blake's co-dependency coping mechanism? Understanding the source of his co-dependency, i.e. childhood trauma/ coping mechanisms and the like may be beneficial?
Now that I have rewatched it, I find it hilarious how Teal and Blake interact with each other.
Please do more videos where you point out codependency behavior. I haven't seen anyone else do it and it's incredibly helpful to spot my blind spots. Thanks by the way.
I really like Blake. It's the first time I've heard him speak. He's very honest.
Can I live in your community ?
Teal you’re a gem. Thank you for sharing.
That thing about the conflicts everywhere around the codependent people. It hit me hard. I was beginning to feel that, but now I can see that clearly. I want to stop it. It’s terrible. Those people who I use to justify my unavailability just don’t deserve that! They should not act as a sort of a scapegoat. Thank you Teal 🙌
Pressure = tension= energy, We are all co-dependant on energy. That is a fact, because one can not be in life without energy, period!
So I personally understand that we are all seeking energy from each other whether it is in a malevolent/ narcissistic or benevolent / empathetic way.
I also see like Teal is saying that with Blake and a lot of other men out there in society, is that they don't address the tension/energy in life and "man-up" to it all and be authentic within themselves!. Instead they shy away from it all and try to be the "good guy. " But in reality that is being co-dependant and fake and not a nice guy at all.
gratitude to you teal
So on point. Tough for all the right reasons. Thank you both.
oh teal you are helping us all so much, thank you for that. i admire your abilities, and the state you are living in
Before you talked about the camera I was thinking "why isn't the camera on him." lol
Personally i think his comment about the camera wasn't coming from a codependent place but just a place of wanting to make sure she got a good video. Perhaps he was responsible for it and he wanted to make sure he did not screw it up. Because if he had not said anything then perhaps the video was screwed and guess who got a wooping then?
Thank You Teal, so needed to hear this right now! Much Love to you!
khanehdiangurl same!
There's nothing wrong with Blake. This is who he is. Everybody has their issues and everybody is codependent. All of us need something from the other person in a relationship. Blake needs Teal to tell him what's wrong with him, and Teal needs someone to fix and preach to. This is the kind of cycle that keeps people residing in a spiritual community trying to change who they are, when in fact, it can never be done. People can change their lifestyles or certain habits, but who you are at your core, is permanent.
shinymetallicpurplearmor So do you think the whole spiritual community is bullshit with codependent narcissist guru's who needs to tell other people what's wrong with them and how to fix it. We the people that keep going to them are enabling the codependent narcissist guru's by feeding them ?
No offense, but what you said is your opinion, not fact.
We CAN heal our emotional injuries (co-dependency). If you're in a relationship to get something physically or emotionally from someone, then you shouldn't be in that relationship. We should be going into relationships to give the gift of love without expectation. Your comment advocates and justifies dysfunctional behaviour. Our emotional injuries are a result of bad parenting and the unloving environments we grew up in without unconditional love. Our emotional injuries can be healed, our injuries are not who we are at our core, thus meaning, our co-dependent behaviour doesn't HAVE to be permanent if we heal our emotional injuries. We need to dig deep and look our fears as to why we demand things from others emotionally, because love isn't a demand. We also need to look at why we're all so scared to be completely ourselves with others. It can all be worked through, it just takes some time and us all being sincere with ourselves. Our injuries don't have to be permanent. It's our own choice.
And that is your perspective
+Nostagic_Chaos That's all bullshit though. People don't work like that. You're literally brainwashing yourself into feeling better by all that woowoo about "unconditional love" bullshit and "just giving never receiving." LOL. Look the fuck around you? Which natural entity doesn't receive? Can you name just ONE? NO SUCH THING. Trees suck water and minerals and light. Bugs eat stuff. Animals eat stuff. Everything consumes something else for energy. You're just repressing a side of yourself with the new agey mumbo jumbo. VERY BAD ADVICE especially when it comes to relationships! It's what actually CREATES codependent people! "Oh I will just love them unconditionally so sooner or later things MUST GET BETTER!" Lol no! Quit peddling that BS. Peace out.
stacey holba I'm not sure if your comment was to me, but it's not a perspective. It's personal experience. If you was talking to the other person, then I apologise.
Yes I'll be your outlet, let's share energies.
Thank you teal💘💘
Man.. isn't Teal 🦢 THE deflecting MASTER!!! Totally Counter Attack Queen👑 🙌🏻 Best advice I can offer anyone with self esteem issues, like I had/have is to.. "Walk into ANY Room like you basically OWN the damn place..." it works when you have that down 👇🏻 MENTALITY.. But, like everything in this life, use in moderation.. That's MY Truth, about confidence anyways...
I loved the authentic part of teal..... people need to b okay with "negative" emotions
YOU CANT LET GO OF YOURSELF💛
You can’t give yourself up..its impossible..
Watching this definitely makes me feel like Throwing up. My truth is unsavory. That makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. But that’s okay....Teal told him (me) to become okay with discomfort because that’s authenticity (in this situation). Wow.
See, the benefit of having a video of this rather then a one time experience with you Teal is I might have expressed any sort of feeling before i walked away yet honestly the first time I watch it I'm reacting by emotion like I would have in person but since I really want to be practical I dig in and watch it several times. Teal, thankyou from the heart. These last few days I'm blown away by this. This is the best work I have personally see from you that so hits home with me. No therapist has ever brought me to this level.
thank you Teal
i got the notif while i was writing to the angels in my notes
Thanks guys. 🙂👍❤️
I have this in my playlist Understanding Myself... Teal. This is the video that first started big changes in me.
I love this. I am this way. I thrive under pressure. Some cower under pressure but that's because they have no stood in their power. When they realize its not worth living an inauthentic life of unfulfillment, a life of a phoney that they didn't sign up for directly, they will take responsibility and face what they need to face to be truthful.
Ah. I am addicted to her truth and wisdom an her being real and I'm so proud of her. I wish I was like her
Been rewatching this video and it seems like she is being the mother figure to tell Blake what to do and how to be. I'm wondering if she is selfaware? She puts him into his shame like a mother would who doesn't approve of her child. Maybe that's her wound? What about the stuff teal does for her selfconcept? Like wearing all these fancy clothes and make up and making everything look nice for the viewer. It almost seems like she wants everyone to stop and do an be and think how she wants it and thinks it's right. Didn't Blake take her in when she was all fucked up? If he wasn't codependent like that teal might have not gotten out of her misery? It saved her life no? Why change it
Isn't her whole life based on helping people and the concept that she is a spiritual teacher who has all the answers? Why is this not codependency or is ok but what Blake does isn't?
Ah ok it is what she really wants to do for herself. She doesn't do it for them, she does it for herself. ?
the wild thing is that codependents think their behavior causes everyone to like them but ever since I've started setting boundaries and speaking my truth more I find it so incredibly attractive when someone is doing the same. I feel myself respecting that person more. Lately it irritates me when someone is always giving everything they have to everyone... like stop it. You need to stand up for yourself girl. It makes me mad to be honest.
Teal is so intense and savage in this video 😂 I love it!
Everything exists as an energy state. This conversation could be about anything. It is the responsibility of the aware. You now have the keys and the wheel. Choose the state
10:40 Confidence. If you're okay with a certain type of pressure it's because you're confidant in your ability at what ever it is.