Your question "What am I trying to protect / defend?" What an excellent question / point! Will try to remember that question the next time I am feeling defensive.
I thought about this question… I think my own ego wants to prevent being misunderstood, judged, and discarded. It comes from things in the past - some of us weren’t allowed to be ourselves in childhood. Thinking about this really clarifies things!!
My BIG problem is that when I’m being triggered, I go from 0 to 100😰. I just end up reacting, saying the wrong thing, making arguments worst and then feeling miserable, stupid and guilty about my reaction 😖
i know its hard, i used to be like that & end up hurting someone or getting in trouble. try doing what i did it worked for me, make it a challenge for urself, that the next person who gets on ur nerves u immediately talk to urself by saying for example." im currently driving, i need to focus on that only, this persons probably having a bad day, or just a plain idiot, i have bad days too sometimes i know what theyre goin through. im here driving right now and my goal is to get home safe not teach people lessons. i am responsible for my actions not other peoples actions." if you practice that every time somethin happens it will start becoming a habit, it may take a loong time but eventually ull find urself alot calmer (try 5 minute meditation s everyday too). i used to think i have to not let anyone "get away" with the horrible things they do to others or to me i still do from time to time alot less than before tho, but then I started to understand what might be causing their idiot behaviors and realize that my purpose isnt to fix anyone, but to look after myself, be kind, and become a little forgiving. we humans tend to judge eachother it has alot to do with ego ofcourse, this video is incredible and i hope what i said helps a little too💕
I find kids are like the beginners we should choose to be inspired by. Their simple discoveries and candid opinions are funny, beautiful, sometimes annoying, but unashamedly curious and brave.
Ok, my shame normally stops me from commenting on public sites, but it cannot stop me this time. Holy smokes, sister! You are ridiculously real and aren’t afraid to get down and dirty. Thank you for your insight, vulnerability and wisdom. I so appreciate this lesson. Sending love and light....💜🌟
ego gives you sense of identity, but you can't overprotect your self sense of identity or you are trappting yourself in that state, and identity is not stable, it always moves and grows.
I have to tell you. God actually put your video in front of me! Really! I’ve been struggling so hard with this! Your guidance is easy to understand and is to the point! Just what I needed. Once again, thank you for sharing your knowledge! It’s so helpful!💥💗😇🙏😁❗️
This is great advice. I was taking notes of things I will implement in my relationships. Thank you! My favorite takeaway: "If you've done nothing wrong, there is nothing to defend. If you've done something wrong, there is nothing to defend."
I use to get defensive. I didn't realize that was my ego. Good to know that there's nothing to defend just accountability, responsibility, and apology. I guess we should still apologize even when didn't do anything wrong but for some reason the other may have been offended or didn't like what was/wasn't done.🤔💭
I am about to move to a different state where I know no one and I am escaping 16 years of abuse. I have such bad anxiety now that I can barely function. I stutter and tremble and make wierd noises and have panic attacks non stop. I have been listening to you for a few weeks and I listen about 3 hours a day. You speak so clearly and I relate. You make me realise that my bad habits and weaknesses are allowing the things that have happened me. The same things over and over again like being taken for granted and being treated badly or stalked or beaten. I now feel like if I work hard on myself, I won't have to worry about it happening again. I will protect myself by having boundaries and not craving attention. You are helping me change my life. I am so grateful for you. I finally have hope and I don't hate myself. Thank you.
I love the part of "A Beginners Mind." We bring way too much stuff forward with our relationships. Children don't hold grudges because they come forth with a beginners mind. This is so mindfulness. Thanks.
Ego should provide you with a healthy defense that allows you to safely transition between ideas and personalities as you learn, grow, and explore. The ego becomes unhealthy when it is fixed on a certain idea, outcome, or thing. A healthy ego allows others to have differing viewpoints while one retains his/her own point of view. One does not feel personally attacked if his/her views and opinions are questioned since his/her survival is not associated with any view or opinion. The unhealthy ego comes about as a result of a stifled exploration period, primarily associated with childhood experiences, that shows one that the world outside of one's own beliefs, views, experiences is unsafe and dangerous to one's well being (survival was threatened). To recover a healthy ego, a person must practice acceptance, return to an expansion and exploration type of mindset, and discover the boundaries that will allow one to be one's self while being accepting of others. Ego is NOT the enemy. Ego is a friend once you become aware of it and learn how to manage it. It will keep you safe if you learn to use it appropriately.
"People are showing up in their current state of awareness, whatever they have going on" do not take their comments or reactions personally. We are all in different places of growth and development.
Your second point of "living for celebrating only a few moments of success" totally hits me right in there... This is why I really love you and your channel, so deep, detailed, and right to the point
Hello, My name is Nicolas, I’m from France. I’m new here. Thank you for that channel, nice work ! I just found it, working on my (very protective) ego. The biggest takeaway in this video is to be curious instead of defensive, I bet it will help a lot.
I have noted that I have grown at pretty much a snail's pace. I have also noted how often people have tried to rush my growth, not really respecting my own pace and need for self-examination. If it weren't for my previous boundary work I think I could easily gotten waylaid/sidetracked and thrown way off my own course. Thanks for your help in my own development.
I like it when you admit that you struggle or have struggled with things. Or that you aren't perfect for whatever reason. You admitted you have an ego. If you're this honest about yourself then I guess you don't have an inflated one. Excellent!
Knowing who we are authentically seems to be key here. If we have found our authentic selves and trust that we can rely on it, all the ego problems are resolved, there is nothing to be hurt or broken any more. I've read a lot about this and seen a lot of videos, and all sources seem to say this same thing. I haven't yet been able to find my authentic self and I'm still struggling to grasp this subject and therefore, I still feel fragile and insecure a lot. My biggest struggle now is that I still don't understand how I can realize my authentic self; the pathway is not so clear for me. But this video helped to identify some stepping stones, so thank you for that.
Guido, Learning who my authentic self was took me many years. It is a process that starts with struggling to grasp this subject, feeling fragile and insecure a lot, and being open to seeing other perspectives other than your ego’s one way of seeing things. So, congratulations on starting the process. If I could make a suggestion to you, practice becoming aware of what you like to do and what you do not like to do, where you enjoy being and where you do not enjoy being, etc., and work on doing more of what you enjoy fully and do less of what you enjoy less. Be honest with yourself about these things and work on judging yourself less harshly. It helps to practice self-compassion and become aware of where we can have compassion for others, too. That goes hand-in-hand with what Julia Kristina is saying about practicing “Beginner’s Mind” and becoming curious about things rather than judging them. Best of luck!-- Ed Brown
The beginners mind... you sound like the Buddha... it's so true... it humbles you... it shows you your strengths and limitations... thank you. For your wisdom.
I have been recently watching Julia Kristina's videos. She is so straightforward, no fluff, no showiness, no babbling. Her teaching has structure which is easy to take notes and refer back to. Julia, I am so glad to have found your videos and look forward to learning, working on "my crap" and transforming my life and breaking the trauma bonds.
Hello Adam Loza here. I have been an addict my whole life and I was sober for a few years. I thought I had it all together... than I relapsed.... and I went to rehab... I still used in rehab and I could not figure out how to get right....till.. I decided to start over... I needed to be a beginner again.... I'm still sober today... I love all you are doing I want more info omg....
What! You get nasty comments!? My defensive spirit immediately sat up in my chair. Ready to go to battle for you. I have no idea how anyone could have anything but cheers and compliments for you after all you do for the world. Julia, thank you for all your help. Your videos are the place I stop scrolling for positive helpful instruction. 💖💯
Soul is vulnerable. In real relationships with non predatory, non attacking people, being vulnerable with another person is awesome. The ego tries to prevent us from being vulnerable, hence it cuts off access to soul which is where self esteem resides.
Hi Julia! I want to take some time to thank you for your videos. I tried many times therapy and rarely got what I needd out of it. These videos are super helpful and correspond perfectly to my needs growthwise. I also want to take this time to thank you specifically because I am so grateful that these videos are free. I don't have a big enough income to pay a therapist and these really help me understand a lot about myself. So once again thank you!
I never realized how much my ego disrupts my life. I am slowly understanding that my jealousy is from my ego, competition is my life and I’m a sore loser, I’m afraid to try thing because if I fail it will hurt my ego. I have a lot of hatred due to this problem and have a hard time letting it go. It affects me from the core to the point of panic attacks, I’m ashamed and need to “start over”. It’s a long road to recovery. Thank you for the video, it was very helpful. 💙
Very emotional indeed 😢. Thank you Julia for touching our lives and infecting our lives. You are a great gift to our /personal healing. I thank God for your life🙏
The acknowledgment on its own is deep and powerful. You’ve admitted things that millions will NEVER ADMIT about themselves. I commend you! Wishing you success in confronting your ego and finally getting healing! Jealousy is toxic to your Souls
Hi Julia Kristina. I am 61 and have quite a lot of life experience. Nothing of what you say is really new to me. I have been interested in these topics and in personal development for ages. Yet, the way you put it, express it and explain it, is just outstanding!! :) I just happened to discover you today. I listen to “10 things that will get better when you love your self” and it was such a relief to me. I really felt: “Yes, that’s it (in a nutshell). I will go ahead with this”. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge.
It's funny because I was thinking this week that I need to work on not getting defensive with people. So I was going to look through your videos to find one about it. And here we are.
How your videos are free is simply mind blowing! The amount of information that you have put out in these videos with all your heart, speaks volumes about how much you are willing to help people heal and grow. I am a new subscriber of your channel. I intend to finish watching all your videos and join the Shift Society as soon as possible. I am already addicted to listening you unveil the reality of life in the most simplest ways possible. You are simply Awesome! May God bless you ❤❤❤
Thank you for your videos, it helps me a lot! You are helping people to change their realities and consequently change their surroundings and make the world a better place. Thabk you
You are by far the easiest, clearest, most down to earth person out there to listen to. You give such fabulous advice. There's so much to learn about ourselves and because of the world we live in and constantly meeting new people and entering new situations our perception of ourselves changes too. A simple thank you seems so little in comparison to what you share with us, but thank you so very much.
I used to be triggered easily especially by the people I placed very highly in my life until I learnt through your help and my own personal therapy through my health professionals in nz , I manage bipolar disorder with medication and sometimes even with a mood stabilizer stress does go above my threshold. Ever since watching your videos you have helped me & my partner be better parents & just overall better people to be around with alot better strategies for my family and friends. The change is incredible, fully grateful to have you exist in our times of struggle. Stay amazing Julia! You rock!
Thought I was educated in ego, because I know mine is too strong for my own good! WOW! now I know why I'm afraid to figure out work problems at the root level, ( I'm supposed to be better or know that) Loving all your teaching, this might be my favorite lesson I'll watch again! I'm also from Vancouver Canada, I hate the city probably because of my ego.
Thank you Julia for the great video. Many of the these characteristics have affected me to find personal happiness. Like the video "Why we do not feel good enough" my gremlin is the fear of rejection if I do not express my thoughts well. Doing the self-journal mindfulness exercise, I have recognized better what type of ego affects me and what is ego fear and real fear. I have an open-mind, but I used to be defensive and to take everything personally. "I cannot express my thoughts well" Ego fear Ego tip 1: It used to be very difficult for me to speak english(I am multilingual) with others because I thought that people spoke english to me because I could not "speak" other languages. I am more open to talk to anyone in whatever language and if someone speaks english to me, I understand that they want to learn languages just like me. Why should I discourage that? I am not sure why I used to think like this, but it was an ego fear and frustration for feeling rejected due to an cultural identity crisis. EGO tip 2: Missing life During the trip, my ego affected me so much that I did not have fun with my family and my friends. I was so focused to reach my "goal" to travel to Italy and speak italian and the sicilian. This makes me sad, but my girlfriend and I went to Paris and I was so focused to go to Italy , I was closed minded to do a lot of things instead of enjoying the moment and opening the doors to another culture. EGO tip 3: To be a beginner This is a great technique to improve the foundation of our goals and personal projects. I am starting a youtube channel in a week, but you taught me something that was crucial. We can be imperfect, we decide what we want to do with the videos for example, if it is editing, the length of the video, the video production. We must step back because the question that I had was "This is an ego threat that i cannot have a successful youtube channel", but it is not about how i can be successful, it is how i can grow with public speaking and having a cultural dialogue with others. EGO tip 4: Defensiveness I used to be very defensive with many things. I still continue to work on acceptance of my life and my abilities. Ego tip 5: Overthinking I have been overthinking since I was a little kid to feel good enough or be someone that i am not. Mindfulness allows me to calm the brain and reflect what is ego fear and thoughts that do not serve me. Ego tip 6: be yourself I have noticed that my ego did not allow me to be authentic. I am in a language exchange program, I ask more questions, I try to be the most authentic and what I have learned is that people appreciate it. I used to avoid making mistakes, but it did not allow me to grow. People want authentic conversations, and personally I am working to be imperfect not perfect. Ego tip 7 Judgement This is important because I used to think that it was my problem. When I went to Italy, my cousins did not want to talk to because I was not from Italy. I thought that there was a problem with me, but it was not my state of awareness. I can reflect due to my maturity and awareness, this is not me. It is ego fear that makes me feel vulnerable.
Julia Kristina, first of all I must tell you that you are the first I have ever responded to..that being said I have to tell you that you gave me that missing piece of puzzle that I needed to discover who I really am and from there it's been a steady growth, and you've been there with me the whole way..so thank you very much
Overthinking is great for predicting. Love taking one thought and adding a different action to it and rolling them into a Spiderweb of options. It's fun
I agree with you ms. Nocross. I believe she is one of the most astute , aware individual's with a knowledge of both herself and the patterns, and mental processes of others and she's a dynamic presenter as well. And aren't we the more blessed because of her skills?
Your absolutely right Julia. Society pressurises to achieve goals to be content & happiness? On the contrary, we have to put the intention out, & begin to let go! Goals are achieved when the season is right. Thankyou Rx
Wow during this video I found myself smiling a lot, you are so safe and validating. You make it all so simple because these concepts and practices are quite thorny. My share, growing up in a family where my parents egos were and are still disturbingly fragile the ego has been always interesting concept. It is very frustrating when two people can speak the same words yet have totally different meanings.
People sanction in their current level of awareness .....this helped me move out from a grey zone....I needed it!!!thank you so much for all you said in this video and many others. Take care!stay safe!!!
I learned so much by just watching your videos than learning as in my life. Although I am just 18 years old but everything you said was on point and made lots of sense to me. So i wanna thank you for all these wonderful and knowledgeable videos. You literally taught me more than than any other teacher in my life.
Everything made so much sense to me, I feel like I gained a lot of insights and aha moments from this 25 min talk. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge ❤️✨
I’ve really enjoyed your ego series so far and can’t wait to watch this video as well, getting triggered is something I’m guilty of from time to time! Admittedly, hearing the truth from other people can really hurt, and that’s the situation in which I sometimes feel this way. I hope you’re having a wonderful week so far 💕
It’s almost like everything you say relates to little bits of my life. I find myself being so open minded and aware of my own experiences as you speak about the topics, which is why I love to watch you. You’re so helpful ❤️
Thanks for your videos , there really helping me out. Biggest takeaway for me , is don’t make everything about me , and don’t take everything so personal .
Can I say, and I am not very good at this myself, that perhaps we need to remember that psychology points out the kinds of things to look for but that the ecosystems of the mind are as vast as the ecosystems of "consequence, cause and effect" and we could explore the symbiotic relationships between the vast nurturing, foundational, support, adversarial, hinderance, and toxic aspects of self, others and the environment in which we live in order to not do too much damage when setting off thinking what is in the psychology books, talks, discussions and lectures is the whole of the truth. Truth itself is a vast symbiotic ecosystem of ; 1:facts, fiction and lies, 2:commitment and avoidance, 3:build up and release, 4:deliberate actions, accidents and negligence, 5:cause and effect, 6:willed action, willed non-action and accidental action. etc. etc. It seems we may have to grow into some of our new habits carefully, although a complete change in direction is often very good for us.
@@juliakristinamah For me personally the biggest thing was realising my error in allowing the behavior of people to mean something personally about me and letting it affect my sense of self instead of realising their behavior is based on them. This was huge. And that I don't need to react or defend that. I also overthink a lot and stress myself over things before they even happen as I'm the type that likes to know what to expect before hand, and realising now as you said that you will always have your own back and should trust in yourself to handle uncertain situations. ❤️
It’s interesting to listen to you Julia . I hear a lot of topics and sayings that I learnt in treatment , like quit kicking our own Asses - keep an open mind - don’t take things personally - be your authentic self - practice mindfulness - it’s all good stuff and I like what you say about going back and starting over what we have learnt and that’s why I like AA and listening to you ! It’s reassuring what I have learnt and working towards my goals and I like what you say about moving towards my next level of growth - I like that . Progress not perfection - it’s all good Thank You !!!!
Thank you so much for your videos. I have a horrible habit of procrastination and feel anxious about the task at hand for days and weeks together .i tried meditating on why I keep doing that but dont seem to understand why I keep procrastinating again and again knowing that I will be in a trap of anxiousness. Can you please do a video on that? why we procrastinate and how I can overcome this horrible habit .
I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You are such a great person and thank you again for sharing all of your knowledge with us 💞 You talk about absolutely everything that a lot people go through every day. You’re awesome 🥰
Yes! Great information! I have always had a fear of being judged. And I have a lot of opinions that I defend by not presenting them to others. 🙂💞I love that you enjoy dancing!
Happy 4th, my name is Jon and this my 2nd video. The first being last night and it couldn't have been more perfect for a trauma that's been controlling me for many years. God bless you 🙏
Hi JUlia!! This is so encouraging and motivating 🧡 What i loved the most was let my self be a beginner, alow my self to be courios, allow people to be in a different stage of understanting of things. Thanks!! i clicked the like button now!!
I hear you brother. That is not easy and can be really painful. The question to take this work deeper is to ask yourself, “what is my ego making their behaviour mean about me?”
@@craig3714 Okay - I hear that and totally understand. And I'm going to push you a little further because I know you're not new to doing this work. Have you asked yourself why it bothers you that they think they are flawless?
Being an artist creating tools for your emotions. With your attention to time. Repetitively repeating with no distractions or breaks. Mastering silence to organize your thoughts, action and emotions inline with your hearts dreams. Repetitive practice on positive roll playing options of the future creating spiderwebs of ideas. The journey to Installing any program into the subconscious becomes a habit. Action without thoughts. For me life is what I can install into my subconscious that leads me to my future goals. when you reach a goal you don't get bored of it. It's in the subconscious it's love for life. The journey is the process of training the subconscious.
Hi friends, what was one of your biggest takeaways from this?
Being a beginner and asking why I'm defensive.
People respond at their current level of awareness and it is no use in me taking it personally.
Everyone can only be at their own current level of awareness, and it's not all about you. Great video, thank you!
@@Timmeshia YES!
@@CristiBundukamara Glad this connected with you.
Your question "What am I trying to protect / defend?" What an excellent question / point! Will try to remember that question the next time I am feeling defensive.
I thought about this question… I think my own ego wants to prevent being misunderstood, judged, and discarded. It comes from things in the past - some of us weren’t allowed to be ourselves in childhood. Thinking about this really clarifies things!!
My BIG problem is that when I’m being triggered, I go from 0 to 100😰. I just end up reacting, saying the wrong thing, making arguments worst and then feeling miserable, stupid and guilty about my reaction 😖
i know its hard, i used to be like that & end up hurting someone or getting in trouble. try doing what i did it worked for me, make it a challenge for urself, that the next person who gets on ur nerves u immediately talk to urself by saying for example." im currently driving, i need to focus on that only, this persons probably having a bad day, or just a plain idiot, i have bad days too sometimes i know what theyre goin through. im here driving right now and my goal is to get home safe not teach people lessons. i am responsible for my actions not other peoples actions."
if you practice that every time somethin happens it will start becoming a habit, it may take a loong time but eventually ull find urself alot calmer (try 5 minute meditation s everyday too). i used to think i have to not let anyone "get away" with the horrible things they do to others or to me i still do from time to time alot less than before tho, but then I started to understand what might be causing their idiot behaviors and realize that my purpose isnt to fix anyone, but to look after myself, be kind, and become a little forgiving. we humans tend to judge eachother it has alot to do with ego ofcourse, this video is incredible and i hope what i said helps a little too💕
Im the opposite, im goin from 10 to 0 in a second, blank and numb
I find kids are like the beginners we should choose to be inspired by. Their simple discoveries and candid opinions are funny, beautiful, sometimes annoying, but unashamedly curious and brave.
I think you are the only or one of few coaches I can relax to . You are such a great presenter.
Thanks Valentina. That means a lot.
I agree with you
Don’t try to be something or someone you’re not.❤
Ok, my shame normally stops me from commenting on public sites, but it cannot stop me this time. Holy smokes, sister! You are ridiculously real and aren’t afraid to get down and dirty. Thank you for your insight, vulnerability and wisdom. I so appreciate this lesson. Sending love and light....💜🌟
The ego is not your amigo.
cute!
ego gives you sense of identity, but you can't overprotect your self sense of identity or you are trappting yourself in that state, and identity is not stable, it always moves and grows.
Ain’t that the truth!!!! 😂😂😂😂
I have to tell you. God actually put your video in front of me! Really! I’ve been struggling so hard with this! Your guidance is easy to understand and is to the point! Just what I needed. Once again, thank you for sharing your knowledge! It’s so helpful!💥💗😇🙏😁❗️
This is great advice. I was taking notes of things I will implement in my relationships. Thank you! My favorite takeaway: "If you've done nothing wrong, there is nothing to defend. If you've done something wrong, there is nothing to defend."
Super helpful!
Great stuff
🙌🙌🙌
I use to get defensive. I didn't realize that was my ego. Good to know that there's nothing to defend just accountability, responsibility, and apology. I guess we should still apologize even when didn't do anything wrong but for some reason the other may have been offended or didn't like what was/wasn't done.🤔💭
I am about to move to a different state where I know no one and I am escaping 16 years of abuse. I have such bad anxiety now that I can barely function. I stutter and tremble and make wierd noises and have panic attacks non stop. I have been listening to you for a few weeks and I listen about 3 hours a day. You speak so clearly and I relate. You make me realise that my bad habits and weaknesses are allowing the things that have happened me. The same things over and over again like being taken for granted and being treated badly or stalked or beaten. I now feel like if I work hard on myself, I won't have to worry about it happening again. I will protect myself by having boundaries and not craving attention. You are helping me change my life. I am so grateful for you.
I finally have hope and I don't hate myself.
Thank you.
"People are projecting from their own current state of understanding" This is so good! Super helpful! Thank you!!
We all have an ego you just have to learn how to tame it.❤
I love the part of "A Beginners Mind." We bring way too much stuff forward with our relationships. Children don't hold grudges because they come forth with a beginners mind. This is so mindfulness. Thanks.
Truthfully people don't deserve forgiveness and if they cross me they deserve death
Ego should provide you with a healthy defense that allows you to safely transition between ideas and personalities as you learn, grow, and explore. The ego becomes unhealthy when it is fixed on a certain idea, outcome, or thing.
A healthy ego allows others to have differing viewpoints while one retains his/her own point of view. One does not feel personally attacked if his/her views and opinions are questioned since his/her survival is not associated with any view or opinion.
The unhealthy ego comes about as a result of a stifled exploration period, primarily associated with childhood experiences, that shows one that the world outside of one's own beliefs, views, experiences is unsafe and dangerous to one's well being (survival was threatened). To recover a healthy ego, a person must practice acceptance, return to an expansion and exploration type of mindset, and discover the boundaries that will allow one to be one's self while being accepting of others.
Ego is NOT the enemy. Ego is a friend once you become aware of it and learn how to manage it. It will keep you safe if you learn to use it appropriately.
Don’t take everything personally.❤
It’s good to strive for a goal.❤
"People are showing up in their current state of awareness, whatever they have going on" do not take their comments or reactions personally. We are all in different places of growth and development.
Hi Julia, I’m a trainee therapist and it’s nice to see therapists using RUclips as a platform 😊
You should be open to learning new things I agree with you Julia.❤
Your second point of "living for celebrating only a few moments of success" totally hits me right in there...
This is why I really love you and your channel, so deep, detailed, and right to the point
Glad that connected. It was a big realization when I saw that this is exactly what I'd been doing. Happy you're here.
Hello,
My name is Nicolas, I’m from France. I’m new here.
Thank you for that channel, nice work !
I just found it, working on my (very protective) ego. The biggest takeaway in this video is to be curious instead of defensive, I bet it will help a lot.
why am i crying thank you very much again and please be safe
Have you figured out why you're crying? Is everything okay?
I have noted that I have grown at pretty much a snail's pace. I have also noted how often people have tried to rush my growth, not really respecting my own pace and need for self-examination. If it weren't for my previous boundary work I think I could easily gotten waylaid/sidetracked and thrown way off my own course. Thanks for your help in my own development.
I like it when you admit that you struggle or have struggled with things. Or that you aren't perfect for whatever reason. You admitted you have an ego. If you're this honest about yourself then I guess you don't have an inflated one. Excellent!
Knowing who we are authentically seems to be key here. If we have found our authentic selves and trust that we can rely on it, all the ego problems are resolved, there is nothing to be hurt or broken any more.
I've read a lot about this and seen a lot of videos, and all sources seem to say this same thing. I haven't yet been able to find my authentic self and I'm still struggling to grasp this subject and therefore, I still feel fragile and insecure a lot. My biggest struggle now is that I still don't understand how I can realize my authentic self; the pathway is not so clear for me. But this video helped to identify some stepping stones, so thank you for that.
Guido, Learning who my authentic self was took me many years. It is a process that starts with struggling to grasp this subject, feeling fragile and insecure a lot, and being open to seeing other perspectives other than your ego’s one way of seeing things. So, congratulations on starting the process. If I could make a suggestion to you, practice becoming aware of what you like to do and what you do not like to do, where you enjoy being and where you do not enjoy being, etc., and work on doing more of what you enjoy fully and do less of what you enjoy less. Be honest with yourself about these things and work on judging yourself less harshly. It helps to practice self-compassion and become aware of where we can have compassion for others, too. That goes hand-in-hand with what Julia Kristina is saying about practicing “Beginner’s Mind” and becoming curious about things rather than judging them. Best of luck!-- Ed Brown
The beginners mind... you sound like the Buddha... it's so true... it humbles you... it shows you your strengths and limitations... thank you. For your wisdom.
I have been recently watching Julia Kristina's videos. She is so straightforward, no fluff, no showiness, no babbling. Her teaching has structure which is easy to take notes and refer back to. Julia, I am so glad to have found your videos and look forward to learning, working on "my crap" and transforming my life and breaking the trauma bonds.
Been quieting the mind more from overthinking. It's very healing .
Hello Adam Loza here. I have been an addict my whole life and I was sober for a few years. I thought I had it all together... than I relapsed.... and I went to rehab... I still used in rehab and I could not figure out how to get right....till.. I decided to start over... I needed to be a beginner again.... I'm still sober today... I love all you are doing I want more info omg....
Glad you're here brother. And good for you for always getting back up.
Loved the discussion about celebrating the journey as well as the goal. Love your energy about...everything .
Never give up. You are loved and valued. 🧡
That's the story of a hero, getting back up. I'm sure you'll stay that way.
What!
You get nasty comments!?
My defensive spirit immediately sat up in my chair. Ready to go to battle for you.
I have no idea how anyone could have anything but cheers and compliments for you after all you do for the world.
Julia, thank you for all your help. Your videos are the place I stop scrolling for positive helpful instruction.
💖💯
I love your talks.
I'm so glad it connected Anne.
Thank you so much for this video. That part about being defensive really helped me a lot. Thank you!
Im in dark times. You are helping me.
Soul is vulnerable. In real relationships with non predatory, non attacking people, being vulnerable with another person is awesome. The ego tries to prevent us from being vulnerable, hence it cuts off access to soul which is where self esteem resides.
Hi Julia! I want to take some time to thank you for your videos. I tried many times therapy and rarely got what I needd out of it. These videos are super helpful and correspond perfectly to my needs growthwise. I also want to take this time to thank you specifically because I am so grateful that these videos are free. I don't have a big enough income to pay a therapist and these really help me understand a lot about myself. So once again thank you!
Yes! Growth is painful, but this is a pain that leads to a broader perspective, to expand as JK mentions.
That’s me! The goal chaser! In between I become “almost” depressed. I have to move out of this. Thank you so much!
I hear you sis. That used to be me too. Glad we're in this together.
Your talk made me think that my intrusive thoughts happened a long time ago, in response to a particular situation. The situation is not now anymore.
I never realized how much my ego disrupts my life. I am slowly understanding that my jealousy is from my ego, competition is my life and I’m a sore loser, I’m afraid to try thing because if I fail it will hurt my ego. I have a lot of hatred due to this problem and have a hard time letting it go. It affects me from the core to the point of panic attacks, I’m ashamed and need to “start over”. It’s a long road to recovery. Thank you for the video, it was very helpful. 💙
Very emotional indeed 😢. Thank you Julia for touching our lives and infecting our lives. You are a great gift to our /personal healing. I thank God for your life🙏
The acknowledgment on its own is deep and powerful. You’ve admitted things that millions will NEVER ADMIT about themselves. I commend you!
Wishing you success in confronting your ego and finally getting healing!
Jealousy is toxic to your Souls
Hi Julia Kristina.
I am 61 and have quite a lot of life experience. Nothing of what you say is really new to me. I have been interested in these topics and in personal development for ages.
Yet, the way you put it, express it and explain it, is just outstanding!! :)
I just happened to discover you today. I listen to “10 things that will get better when you love your self” and it was such a relief to me. I really felt: “Yes, that’s it (in a nutshell). I will go ahead with this”.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge.
It's funny because I was thinking this week that I need to work on not getting defensive with people. So I was going to look through your videos to find one about it. And here we are.
Ha! I love it. I'm also going to do an entire video on defensiveness because I think it's such an important topic.
Awesome, I look forward to it! I really enjoy your videos and they have really helped me. Thank you 💕
How your videos are free is simply mind blowing! The amount of information that you have put out in these videos with all your heart, speaks volumes about how much you are willing to help people heal and grow.
I am a new subscriber of your channel. I intend to finish watching all your videos and join the Shift Society as soon as possible. I am already addicted to listening you unveil the reality of life in the most simplest ways possible. You are simply Awesome! May God bless you ❤❤❤
Sometimes it’s hard not to get defensive.
Thank you for your videos, it helps me a lot! You are helping people to change their realities and consequently change their surroundings and make the world a better place. Thabk you
You are by far the easiest, clearest, most down to earth person out there to listen to. You give such fabulous advice. There's so much to learn about ourselves and because of the world we live in and constantly meeting new people and entering new situations our perception of ourselves changes too. A simple thank you seems so little in comparison to what you share with us, but thank you so very much.
I used to be triggered easily especially by the people I placed very highly in my life until I learnt through your help and my own personal therapy through my health professionals in nz
, I manage bipolar disorder with medication and sometimes even with a mood stabilizer stress does go above my threshold. Ever since watching your videos you have helped me & my partner be better parents & just overall better people to be around with alot better strategies for my family and friends. The change is incredible, fully grateful to have you exist in our times of struggle. Stay amazing Julia! You rock!
Thought I was educated in ego, because I know mine is too strong for my own good! WOW! now I know why I'm afraid to figure out work problems at the root level, ( I'm supposed to be better or know that) Loving all your teaching, this might be my favorite lesson I'll watch again! I'm also from Vancouver Canada, I hate the city probably because of my ego.
Thank you Julia for the great video. Many of the these characteristics have affected me to find personal happiness. Like the video "Why we do not feel good enough" my gremlin is the fear of rejection if I do not express my thoughts well. Doing the self-journal mindfulness exercise, I have recognized better what type of ego affects me and what is ego fear and real fear. I have an open-mind, but I used to be defensive and to take everything personally.
"I cannot express my thoughts well" Ego fear
Ego tip 1: It used to be very difficult for me to speak english(I am multilingual) with others because I thought that people spoke english to me because I could not "speak" other languages. I am more open to talk to anyone in whatever language and if someone speaks english to me, I understand that they want to learn languages just like me. Why should I discourage that? I am not sure why I used to think like this, but it was an ego fear and frustration for feeling rejected due to an cultural identity crisis.
EGO tip 2: Missing life
During the trip, my ego affected me so much that I did not have fun with my family and my friends. I was so focused to reach my "goal" to travel to Italy and speak italian and the sicilian. This makes me sad, but my girlfriend and I went to Paris and I was so focused to go to Italy , I was closed minded to do a lot of things instead of enjoying the moment and opening the doors to another culture.
EGO tip 3: To be a beginner
This is a great technique to improve the foundation of our goals and personal projects. I am starting a youtube channel in a week, but you taught me something that was crucial. We can be imperfect, we decide what we want to do with the videos for example, if it is editing, the length of the video, the video production. We must step back because the question that I had was "This is an ego threat that i cannot have a successful youtube channel", but it is not about how i can be successful, it is how i can grow with public speaking and having a cultural dialogue with others.
EGO tip 4: Defensiveness
I used to be very defensive with many things. I still continue to work on acceptance of my life and my abilities.
Ego tip 5: Overthinking
I have been overthinking since I was a little kid to feel good enough or be someone that i am not. Mindfulness allows me to calm the brain and reflect what is ego fear and thoughts that do not serve me.
Ego tip 6: be yourself
I have noticed that my ego did not allow me to be authentic. I am in a language exchange program, I ask more questions, I try to be the most authentic and what I have learned is that people appreciate it. I used to avoid making mistakes, but it did not allow me to grow. People want authentic conversations, and personally I am working to be imperfect not perfect.
Ego tip 7 Judgement
This is important because I used to think that it was my problem. When I went to Italy, my cousins did not want to talk to because I was not from Italy. I thought that there was a problem with me, but it was not my state of awareness. I can reflect due to my maturity and awareness, this is not me. It is ego fear that makes me feel vulnerable.
All I can say is thank you Julia....you have helped me to improve my life by giving me the tools to get control of my ego.
Not unnoticed, you are very connected just keep doing what you are doing.
Love this content ! Thanks 👍
Julia Kristina, first of all I must tell you that you are the first I have ever responded to..that being said I have to tell you that you gave me that missing piece of puzzle that I needed to discover who I really am and from there it's been a steady growth, and you've been there with me the whole way..so thank you very much
You are a gift to humanity ♥️
Everyone functioning at their current level of awareness. This is so wise! Thank you!!
Excellent view of what the Ego is and how it can be managed. Thank you.
Overthinking is great for predicting.
Love taking one thought and adding a different action to it and rolling them into a Spiderweb of options. It's fun
My take away from this is to have a "beginners mind". It's a humbling experience as I learn continually.
Thank you for this very insightful video ❤️
allowing yourself to be open to learning is a BIG ONE.. Peace !
I agree with you ms. Nocross. I believe she is one of the most astute , aware individual's with a knowledge of both herself and the patterns, and mental processes of others and she's a dynamic presenter as well.
And aren't we the more blessed because of her skills?
I love the way you teach by also using your own self-acknowledgement and share. It is effective.
Your absolutely right Julia. Society pressurises to achieve goals to be content & happiness? On the contrary, we have to put the intention out, & begin to let go! Goals are achieved when the season is right. Thankyou Rx
The element of defensiveness stood out to me the most...I am now doing ego work, starting here! Thank you for this presentation, I’m a new sub!
Wow during this video I found myself smiling a lot, you are so safe and validating. You make it all so simple because these concepts and practices are quite thorny. My share, growing up in a family where my parents egos were and are still disturbingly fragile the ego has been always interesting concept. It is very frustrating when two people can speak the same words yet have totally different meanings.
You are heaven sent! Everything you said resonated with me and that’s ok right 🤗Thanking you with all my heart!♥️🙏🏾
People sanction in their current level of awareness .....this helped me move out from a grey zone....I needed it!!!thank you so much for all you said in this video and many others. Take care!stay safe!!!
I learned so much by just watching your videos than learning as in my life. Although I am just 18 years old but everything you said was on point and made lots of sense to me.
So i wanna thank you for all these wonderful and knowledgeable videos. You literally taught me more than than any other teacher in my life.
Julia, I can’t believe some people would leave you a nasty comment. Thanks for being you.
So powerful and poignant . Thank you for this!
Thank you so much to your teaching God bless you.
You too friend.
Everything made so much sense to me, I feel like I gained a lot of insights and aha moments from this 25 min talk. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge ❤️✨
Really glad it connected Sandra - thanks for being here.
Julia Kristina Counselling Thanks. Julia. was great thanks Maria. S
I’ve really enjoyed your ego series so far and can’t wait to watch this video as well, getting triggered is something I’m guilty of from time to time! Admittedly, hearing the truth from other people can really hurt, and that’s the situation in which I sometimes feel this way. I hope you’re having a wonderful week so far 💕
I got a lot out of this video on the ego.i will definitely watch more on you series. Thank you for your brilliant knowledge of this subject!
Hi, I’m Debra and am so grateful for your videos offering positive growth for myself and countless others ❤️
It’s almost like everything you say relates to little bits of my life. I find myself being so open minded and aware of my own experiences as you speak about the topics, which is why I love to watch you. You’re so helpful ❤️
I'm happy to be here. I'm coming for second time to listen again so that I can try to implement. I think this video is awesome. Thank you.
Narcissists don't have an ego, which is a surprising finding and counterintuitive.
Thanks, you totally make so much sense. So many people need to listen and take a step back and be who they were created to be.
Thanks for your videos , there really helping me out. Biggest takeaway for me , is don’t make everything about me , and don’t take everything so personal .
Can I say, and I am not very good at this myself, that perhaps we need to remember that psychology points out the kinds of things to look for but that the ecosystems of the mind are as vast as the ecosystems of "consequence, cause and effect" and we could explore the symbiotic relationships between the vast nurturing, foundational, support, adversarial, hinderance, and toxic aspects of self, others and the environment in which we live in order to not do too much damage when setting off thinking what is in the psychology books, talks, discussions and lectures is the whole of the truth.
Truth itself is a vast symbiotic ecosystem of ;
1:facts, fiction and lies,
2:commitment and avoidance,
3:build up and release,
4:deliberate actions, accidents and negligence,
5:cause and effect,
6:willed action, willed non-action and accidental action.
etc.
etc.
It seems we may have to grow into some of our new habits carefully, although a complete change in direction is often very good for us.
Thank you for these Ego videos Julia.. I have really connected to them and have learnt so much❤️ thank you for doing what you do.
I'm so glad they've connected Monica. Was there something in particular and created a bigger shift for you?
@@juliakristinamah For me personally the biggest thing was realising my error in allowing the behavior of people to mean something personally about me and letting it affect my sense of self instead of realising their behavior is based on them. This was huge. And that I don't need to react or defend that. I also overthink a lot and stress myself over things before they even happen as I'm the type that likes to know what to expect before hand, and realising now as you said that you will always have your own back and should trust in yourself to handle uncertain situations. ❤️
It is all helpful. You describe beautifully the process. Thank you. Blessings!
E.G.O.= Everyones Got One.
It’s interesting to listen to you Julia . I hear a lot of topics and sayings that I learnt in treatment , like quit kicking our own Asses - keep an open mind - don’t take things personally - be your authentic self - practice mindfulness - it’s all good stuff and I like what you say about going back and starting over what we have learnt and that’s why I like AA and listening to you ! It’s reassuring what I have learnt and working towards my goals and I like what you say about moving towards my next level of growth - I like that . Progress not perfection - it’s all good Thank You !!!!
Julia, you are making such a major difference in my life. Many thanks for your coping skills. Better then medications.
Thank you so much for your videos. I have a horrible habit of procrastination and feel anxious about the task at hand for days and weeks together .i tried meditating on why I keep doing that but dont seem to understand why I keep procrastinating again and again knowing that I will be in a trap of anxiousness. Can you please do a video on that? why we procrastinate and how I can overcome this horrible habit .
You are such a good teacher..I really enjoyed this..Going back to vid 1 & 2 , Thanks Julia :)
Always! Glad you're here.
I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You are such a great person and thank you again for sharing all of your knowledge with us 💞 You talk about absolutely everything that a lot people go through every day. You’re awesome 🥰
Hi Julia! I just want to say I enjoy listening to your videos in RUclips.
Yes! Great information! I have always had a fear of being judged. And I have a lot of opinions that I defend by not presenting them to others. 🙂💞I love that you enjoy dancing!
Happy 4th, my name is Jon and this my 2nd video. The first being last night and it couldn't have been more perfect for a trauma that's been controlling me for many years. God bless you 🙏
Hi JUlia!! This is so encouraging and motivating 🧡 What i loved the most was let my self be a beginner, alow my self to be courios, allow people to be in a different stage of understanting of things. Thanks!! i clicked the like button now!!
Welcome Ron! Glad you're here and I love your insights. Thanks for sharing.
Whew this hit home like crazy 😫
Thanks Julia I deal with entitled narcissist who have huge egos & double standards .
I hear you brother. That is not easy and can be really painful.
The question to take this work deeper is to ask yourself, “what is my ego making their behaviour mean about me?”
@@juliakristinamah Good question ! I am just tired of hypocrites who act if they are flawless even though we all have flaws .
@@craig3714 Okay - I hear that and totally understand. And I'm going to push you a little further because I know you're not new to doing this work. Have you asked yourself why it bothers you that they think they are flawless?
@@juliakristinamah Not really but Julia no one is flawless we all have flaws it's part of being human .
Hi Julia this video is in the all time top 10 for me on your channel, you really crushed it on this one well done
Thanks friend. Your comment made me smile.
I can watch your content all day
Thank you. 🌻 I always take notes. I begin again, daily. Brilliant!!!
Thank you Julia for these free videos
Hello, you!! Thank you for all you do.
Being an artist creating tools for your emotions. With your attention to time.
Repetitively repeating with no distractions or breaks. Mastering silence to organize your thoughts, action and emotions inline with your hearts dreams. Repetitive practice on positive roll playing options of the future creating spiderwebs of ideas. The journey to Installing any program into the subconscious becomes a habit. Action without thoughts. For me life is what I can install into my subconscious that leads me to my future goals. when you reach a goal you don't get bored of it. It's in the subconscious it's love for life. The journey is the process of training the subconscious.