Why Accountability is Not a Dirty Word | Christi Scarrow | TEDxWestoverHills
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2023
- Christi Scarrow adventures boldly into a challenge that faces us all; how to hold others accountable. She dares us to act differently, working against our natural instincts of blaming others or avoiding the difficult conversations. Her heart-felt stories remind us of the impact of not getting it right. She challenges us to stop thinking of accountability as a dirty word and instead as the ultimate act of respect. Christi Scarrow is a consultant, executive coach, keynote speaker and best-selling author of the book Truth Warriors. She is the Managing Partner at a consulting firm in Toronto called Lighthouse NINE Group, where she also leads the Insights & Organizational Accountability practice.
Christi is passionate about creating a world where collaboration overcomes conflict and healthy debate overtakes division. She believes that accountability should be used for good, not evil. Her goal is to help others to feel committed to their goals, comfortable in their mistakes and able to inspire others to do the same.
When she is not working at changing the world, she can be usually be found at the hockey rink with her three children. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Feeling inspired to reevaluate how I approach accountability in my life. Let's strive for more effective and compassionate conversations!
Thanks for the real talk here. Watching society move towards more AI and digital framework, I am constantly wondering about the integrity of the code we are pushing, we need to ensure collective quality that holds all those involved accountable.
I appreciate the emphasis on exploring accountability with respect and empathy. A lot of the time people want to make others feel bad about their mistakes.
The shift from blaming individuals to blaming situations is profound. It's like transforming blame into a tool for understanding and improvement.
The idea of framing accountability as the ultimate act of respect is refreshing. It shifts the narrative in a positive direction.
Accountability is something I see as being a positive. My manager and I can discuss how things are going and make adjustments when we're both willing to be accountable
Your experience with your son's audition is inspiring! Balancing between pushing and understanding is a parenting win 🥳💚
I like the idea of accountability being a gift instead of an expectation. I think shifting our mentality is what helps make the process less daunting.
Shifting from disappointment in to disappointment for is a really powerful and positive move to make as a parent, thank you.
Empathizing to move forward is crucial. Your shift from disappointment in to disappointment for is a leadership lesson.
Holding others accountable can be tough. Your honesty about the struggles, especially among CEOs, adds a dose of reality to the discussion.
Absolutely loved the subtlety of shifting the language from "I am disappointed in you" to "I am disappointed for you" - very powerful, especially for developing growth and understanding.
That bit about Alex's audition really touched me. It's a powerful reminder that as parents or mentors, we should aim to be disappointed 'for' someone, not 'in' them. Congrats to Alex for stepping up!
I think when we hold ourselves accountable we naturally raise the bar for what we expect of ourselves, doing that for other people should be viewed as a positive!
Kudos to the CEO of the deli company who took immediate responsibility of their contaminated product. Accountability in action.
Acknowledging the tendency to avoid tough conversations is brave. Many can relate to the challenge of addressing difficult issues, it's nice to find some practical advice on how to navigate it
The strawberry analogy was spot on! Ignoring small problems can indeed turn into big headaches later.
I’m glad you find it relatable. It’s certainly a vivid image to remember it.
The moldy strawberry analogy is vivid and memorable. Small issues can indeed snowball into bigger problems.
twisting the pipe cleaner analogy to represent intertwined perspectives is a visual masterpiece. Effective and creative!
I loved the pipe cleaner analogy lol makes a lot of sense of how accountability can make us mightier when embraced
This talk has really made an impression on me. Like most things it's how we approach something that determines our success with it.
Thanks for breaking down the complexity of accountability! The more we understand something the more effectively we can participate in it ❤
Real talk, finding that sweet spot is like trying to balance on a seesaw. Tricky stuff
The DARE model presented here seems like a practical way to approach accountability.
I find your examples of being too "pointy" or too "soft" very relatable! Accountability is such an important factor for team work
I've definitely been in situations where I've been too pointy or too soft when dealing with accountability.
Accountability can show our support networks or colleagues that we are reliable and want a reliable dynamic to flourish in.
Thanks for sharing your personal struggles as a manager and a mom. It makes it feel more real and relatable.
The story about assumptions really struck a chord with me, it got me thinking about times I've assumed the worst and how it affected the situation.
I actually really appreciated that pipe cleaner analogy.
Her question about whether we look for someone to blame or ask how to fix things really made me pause.
Appreciate the simplicity of the “DARE”. Your approach to holding people positively accountable (and exploring the situation with respect and empathy) is a skill worth consistently working on over time. Well said!
Questioning assumptions is a game-changer and assuming the best instead of the worst is a really amazing mindset to work towards!
Your experience with your son's audition resonates with me. Balancing between pushing someone and understanding their fears is tough but essential.
Thanks for sharing. I agree that it is challenging to know when to let go and when to lean in.
Accountability is such an important topic - and it's a word that can make us uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be that way. Great talk, Christi!
Very relevant and insightful for any manager!!
Excited to apply the intertwined pipe cleaner approach in my own life! Let's make accountability less pointy and more effective!
What a fantastic topic for a tedx talk, and very much needed in these times!!
Small issues = big headaches. Got it
I've never thought of accountability in that way? I actually think it's a very admirable quality for a person to have.
Interesting insight. My research suggested that most people do appreciate accountability but struggle to hold others accountable. So we admire it but still find it difficult to execute against.
Terrific visual aid, Christi. Good leaders use the soft fuzzy surface of the pipe cleaner. Excellent talk.
Do we all look for someone to blame as a defense mechanism? Yes, I think so especially when we're working in groups.
I think its a natural human emotion and not something to feel guilty about but instead be aware of.
It is a very inspiring talk Christi. Thanks for making accountability a beautiful word!
I was so glad when she got to the point around the 5:00 minute mark. It's definitely about both parties.
I`m glad you found that to be insightful. That was definitely one of my main messages. Thanks for sharing.
Clever analogy! Turning a simple pipe cleaner into a symbol for accountability is genius
Glad you enjoyed it. So are you pointy or too soft?
This is an interesting perspective on accountability and I appreciated the points she made about being too pointy or too soft
Your Dare model sounds intriguing! I'm inspired to try it out in my own life. It's time to be mightier together!
I’m so glad you are joining me in the battle!
lovely ted thanks @@christiscarrowtruthwarrior8776
Well done Christi, very insightful.
Sometimes assuming the worst is the most realistic though. People let you down, things don't work out the way you want... being prepared for that disappointment can help soften those blows.
I totally understand this perspective and have been there myself. It's a way to protect yourself from possible hurt. However its also a way to feel the hurt before it even happens, even if it doesn't happen.
Excellent job, Christi!!!
It's interesting how we often default to blaming instead of problem-solving!
It’s human nature to defend against a threat to our ego. But I also think it’s human nature to connect with one another and look for positive ways forward.
Imagine that, a future with people who all own their mistakes and see it as a chance to do better, rather than blaming each other.
I am hopeful for that future as well.
There is a time and place where one decides to start assuming the best - ensuring all processes are tackled before going in blindly optimistic is the best option I think
I agree that we need to be careful to be 'blindly optimistic' and get taken advantage of. But I also think assuming the best before we assume the worst is a good starting point.
I agree that accountability is vital but some situations are complex! It can be hard to take responsibility for everything when there are factors beyond your control
I don’t think you need to take responsibility for everything. Just your role in the situation. I agree that it is complex.
Very glad to have found this talk, some people give you such interesting perspective
Your comment is interesting. What perspective struck you the most?
Yes! Love this! Accountability isnt about blame or pointing fingers but understanding actions and making positive changes, that help everyone move forward.
Great summary. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Interesting to hear that CEOs struggle to hold people to account. By the time they held that position I would have thought they had the knack.
I have worked with a lot of CEO's. You might be surprised to learn how many of them struggle with holding others accountable as well. Some never get the knack.
❤❤ NEWTON SAYS WHO I IAM
Came across this one in my suggested videos today and I had no idea anyone saw accountability as a negative?
Thanks for sharing your perspective. In my research, I found that people claimed that it could be negative or positive depending on how it is used. Most agree that accountability is good but can be misused when holding others accountable.
I'm sorry but I had so much trouble relating to this talk lol where I come from everything is always my fault, like I can not imagine the confidence you must have in yourself to think your problems are caused by anyone other than you
Interesting observation. I actually believe that I have ownership in all my problems, part of which are the assumptions I make and the (potentially unfair) expectations I have of others. I don't think any ONE person is at fault for anything. I believe we all have a role to play in how we communicate and respect one another.
Man I wish people of the younger generations start learning these lessons. So much cancel culture and putting blame on others, not much empathy happening.
Always room for more empathy. I agree.
This makes me curious about the way other people interpret accountability, I highly doubt it's something that's universally understood.
I think you are right. When I developed this talk, I focused on one perception of accountability but I know many people think of it differently.
People who are uncomfortable with accountability are red flags for me but I guess hearing this makes me realize the way I've gone about trying to hold others accountable is maybe a little too pointy
I lean that way myself. It drives me crazy when people don’t take accountability for their actions. But sometimes that passion turns in to pointy-ness and I don’t get the outcome I’m hoping to achieve.
Moldy strawberries and workplace drama? Weird combo, but I guess it makes a point.
Avoiding tough convos? Been there, done that. Sometimes it feels easier, you know? Probably not the best idea in the long run though...
I'm a Nurse and if we didn't hold ourselves accountable every day, some people wouldn't make it :|
Thank you for doing that every day. The world needs you.
Who knew a pipe cleaner could be a life lesson? If only all accountability discussions came with slushies as a reward! 😄
Wouldn't that be awesome!
Soft or pointy, isn't it just about being assertive when needed? Seems like overthinking a simple concept.