Many thanks 1. Accept them for who they are 2. Set boundaries 3. Don't share anything personal with them as they will use it against you 4. Don't let them manipulate you or get under your skin, accept self love. 5. If possible stay away from them for your sanity especially emotionally.
@@maryadams9343 seems like you put yourself first You should never keep family especially your ex or husband's family away from the kids you share together
@@Ynot72-x6o I'm the Mother and I know, I don't call it greedy I call it protecting my own child. You don't know of how being a mother. And I'm still married to my husband Ok. His nephew is a bad influence OK ? For yo information So Go on !
Recognizing these people so you never Ben get close is my advise. They are takers, never wrong, never apologize, never see your point of view!! Just know the signs and it helps me. Don’t go near them ever, don’t let them in
Hei amelia believe me its like talking to a wall they dont get it they do t want to get it. They will never change. Just end that relationship go out smile at the sun and be happy. Wish yu the best.
Plz start watching Dr Ramani and one more Lisa on Narsesists . They both have said plan a exit keep it to your soul till ready . Pack your bags go silently to friends place for few says then move out . Dont take calls go no Contacr . Dont do any thing just chill . Let law do its work tell the truth with Recorded proof . Dont allow them to play a victim . Just expose them with proof tht cops cant deny nor he or his supportive monkeys . Be calm No matter wht This kid of 5 does . Panic them . Firewall them Set Bounderies . So strong tht their souls shiver . Watch clip on What scares Narcesists . Get yourself armed with truth with proof . These kids will Run away . They cant take the public shame any more . Become financially indipendent . They can block cards to ctrl u Just Discard them when u r ready .
I don’t want someone in my life that I have to constantly tell to stop disrespecting me. That’s way to draining for me! 😊 And I agree tell these type of people nothing about you!
For me who is quite introverted I have a social session each week and it mentally drains me and the more people I'm with, the more alone I feel because I feel like I can't talk to anyone.
This video was soo helpful. He would "spoil" me by buying me things, buying me trips, concerts, taking me out to eat yet when it came down to a disagreement/ argument.. he would disrespect me.. say im ungreatful because he "works so hard" for me and call me names and yell at me. I dont care if you can spend all the money in the world for me, when there's no respect.. Im done.
😩 The same kind of boyfriend my 17yo halfsister has... Makes me sick. She is so brainwashed, I had to brake off contact with her because she lets him be disrespectful to me and friends. He keeps her isolated, threatens any male (schoolmates of hers, friends of mine) to not spend time with her or he will break their bones. She says she „loves“ him & we just „don‘t know him“, he has „positive sides“! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I have the same and abnormal jelousy blames guilts if any argument always guite finish now i m done with all bulshit. Always blames and guilt in me mevee good at all i just say goodbye for that person its horific i got hit by the 5littre bottle in the head was collapse for couple seconds he evwnt didnt say sorry pumshing in the head call me nasty names. I was woried abaut my health and he start abusing me blame me he took all information abaut my past against me with that i villing to see profesional help its hard what that lady says to walk away u feel like u depemt from them i just got tired emocinaly and fizikly to do my best and end up in the bad peeson like always told me how i m ungreatfull
I had never been in an emotional abuse relationship until I met my husband. I didn’t even know this behavior existed. If I could redo my whole life I would never of met my husband or walked away on the first red flag. If anyone you’re dating brings you down call them out right then and there. Don’t get walked all over. Don’t let anyone change you as a person.
@Monika Singh (PGDM 14-16Dom) I must way in on this. Forgive me. I've been in a abusive relationship for over 30yrs. I didn't want to bother others with my problems. It would only make them worry or make the situation worse. I had places to go but passed them up. I hand the money set back to leave but spent it in procrastination. It's been 31yrs. Going on 32. I'm a mess, shattered and broken. Highly sensitive to anything remotly close to what i endured all those yrs. I must say I found God while living in the pit of hell. Didn't need a church...just a seeking reading Mathew to revelations. I would not have lived this long without the joy I received in my time reading. You stay because you feel you have no choice. I will say the choice to stay will only destroy your mental and soon after, your physical...this will give him a greater power over your life. Your life has power. That power is wrapped up in the thing your husband wants to destroy and it seem like he is winning. Pack your bags and kids if any. Go back home a vagabond. No shame in asking for help or receiving it. There's no shame in humbling. Obviously your man insisted you stay low and in your place. Your not anyone's garbage or trash. What you've experienced was and is not good. It's pure evil. If your relationship is not good to begin with, it will get worse not better. I'm 60 and went back to my mother's house. I didn't know how broken I was until I got back. So glad she was still around. It took a week of healing in laughter to wake me up to leaving what was destroying me. Don't resent what your husband taught you. Help others like you escape the madness of living in a prison alone in fear just because you married a man who can't measure up to standards he place so high and feels good to lower you. Your not a monkey... It is God who give a life.... it is the devil that will take it away.
Exactly! As long as there’s someone willing to put up with their behavior, there will never be any incentive for them to change. Walk away, they won’t change.
I told a rejected suitor just how Evil his spreading COVID to me. Superspreader saliva on a cup he invited me to sample! ZERO further contact act or comment will happen. I just wanted him to know
People take kindness as weakness. I'm just a good-hearted giving genuine person but I realize that people are not always going to give me the same in return. I stopped being a people-pleaser. And I've learned to say No !!! I've learned to invest in people that invest in me. It feels great to know your worth. I can't change people I can only change how people treat me.Thank you
I try to avoid people who live life like it’s a game. Every interaction can feel like a power play, a play for dominance. Yuck! Who has time for that? Why not just live life in a joyful, spontaneous way?!
Totally! I'm repelled by people who gamify every interaction or constantly talk about who has leverage. Live and let live. Joyful and spontaneous - amen!! :-)
I figured out that when I was pouring out my heart and soul looking for ways to fix myself and our relationship, he did NOT care. Only to take bits of my words, twist them and tie me in knots with them.
Narcs don't have anything such as heart. They don't feel anything. All they know is mind game and manipulation. They know exactly how to push your buttons and then shift the whole blame on you. Gosh been through that he'll fortunately or unfortunately.
It's becoming clearer and clearer as more time passes by, he just doesn't care! That makes you feel so worthless that is shocking! After 10 years it's still shocking! Crazy making. Learn, learn to love yourself, pray and be specific and ask God to help you, he will give you discernment and peace. Move forward, step by step & don't look back! God bless you! He will never leave you nor for sake you.
The only way to escape the abuse is to cut off all communication and walk away... the peace of mind you get is priceless...family can be worse to deal with than other bullies..your emotional attachment is innate..
The people you surround yourself with can make or break your life. We must protect our energy. We must decide whether someone is good or bad for us and cut those negative off.
I agree it's just best to ignore the emotional abuser as much as possible, instead of confronting them. First, they are very good at manipulating, and they'll probably twist your words so you end up feeling bad about saying anything.
barbh1 Yeah just mirror their attitude. They will never learn through words. In fact they will use them against you. Knowledge is power, silence is power. If they demand explanation for your change (not being available anymore), you have no time (make excuses, just like they used to do) and if they insist, play dumb. Say you are really busy and will respond soon...but you don‘t. Give them a taste of themselves... But NEVER tell them what you think! Their inferiority complex is like a deadly insect. Protect yourself at any cost! ❤️
I learned this the hard way. Every time I tried to have a conversation to save the friendship, she would gaslight and make herself the victim. It's sad when you realize someone who you were once close to is toxic, but you'll be so much happier once you let them go. I live with her, so I still treat her with kindness, but I just expect her nasty behavior. This keeps me from being disappointed by her actions while also still being a good person.
Julia Rose I had a friendship with a lady narcissistic. I was grieving over a parent dying of cancer and relying on this narc for emotional support. My family members are emotionally abusive so I could not rely on them. I had to cut off my relationship with her and some of my family. If you live with a narcissist move away from them and cut all contact.! They will eat you alive.
It's true, but when the abusers are parents or people you must live with because you have no other option, it's really difficult to do much about it. It's not like you want to be a doormat, but sometimes you don't really have a choice, unfortunately.
If you stop them from verbal abuse, they will find other ways, e.g. saying that you don't earn enough money and you should give more into the family budget. There are people with whom the only solution is to leave. It's really hard though because most our common friends just love him, adore him and don't believe me when I say he is a totally different person in public, among friends and behind closed doors. There are just a few people who support me. I just hope I can make it and move away. But I know if I don't do that I will fall ill again. I have been struggeling with serious health issues in the past 4 years. His answer to this was "It's only in your mind. Why don't you just try to ignore your illness?" (which means work as much as earlier)
@@sweetgeorgia70 Speaking from experience, if you move away your health will slowly start improving. In about a year you will be a completely different person in what concerns physical illnesses, but I can assure you that healing the emotional damage will take much, much longer than that. I pray you manage to get out and finally breathe. You will never regret leaving. God will make a way for you to be able to support yourself financially. Wishing you the very best!
I was married for ten years to a narcissist musician cheating all the time but ironically he was very kind. My rebound is much worse now that I'm pregnant 8 months with my first child he controls the money and knows for now I'm forced to be with him. I feel your pain because pregnancy effects everything regardless of knowing when to leave...
Bullies are hurt, insecure people who tend to fall in this category of emotionally abusive. Gadge the person you're interacting with, always stand firm in who you are and don't take things personally. Practice, practice, practice. Ms. Stephanie's advice is legit and I agree.
That's what I'm saying. If you never let them get away with bs and or you cut them off you have taught them your boundries. Once you start doing that you build up your self esteem and people will know not to mess with you. It's a difficult process and I've been through it.
The action of distancing from someone toxic conveys a message without having to necessarily speak it. Distancing oneself from toxic people removes a negative from one's life and allows room/time for positive change. It's a huge win-win and can absolutely be life-changing.
Exactly. I notice that they desperately attempt to re-establish contact once they’ve gone too far, but the same patterns being immediately. No contact is the only answer.
I think this is the best solution ever and it works best for me, to simply disengage and distance myself from them. Hurt people hurt people and they are mostly unconscious about it. Some are not unconscious yet they haven't figured out how to stop it or may not even want to because of the power it gives them. But I don't have to engage or play into it. Basically we teach people how to treat us and it's up to us to distance ourselves as much as possible. At first I thot this was part of the fight/flight/freeze in trauma, but it's put there inside of us for a reason. So flee little bird! Flee!
@@SongOJoy55 Yes! I have cut loose from them. I will let them sit somewhere and lick their wounds and blame me for everything wrong in their angry, spiteful lives (instigated by manipulating, micro-managing, control-freak wife). And meanwhile I’m going lippity-clippity in the opposite direction and finally enjoying peace and freedom. I had to put up with it as long as my grandchildren were small, but now, thank God Almighty, my grandchildren are teenagers and can pretty much manage without me. 🎵“Hello peace and joy.🙏Good bye abuse and torment”.🤗🎶 🙏❤️
@@salliegallegos918 I agree with you, but some relationships you cannot just walk away from. What I love about her advice is how to handle those relationships. So ellequently and powerful!
Recently after subtle abuse from time to time of letting it go. I finally decided not to entertain the idea of when he wants to fake apologize I have to take him back . After name calling me few days later wanting to apologize and talk to me I said no for my own sake and I’m so happy I choose to just remove and isolate myself period.
Do not fall for their fake apology. They will tell you it's going to change and be different this time, it won't. Narcissists grow very old and still stay the same, their manipulative and abusive behaviours never change. The same narc could be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old... they will still be exactly the same at 80 years old as when they were 20. They stay the same because they never look at themselves, they're always blaming everyone else for how they feel, they always have a victim to abuse. If they could just look within, instead of projecting the blame on to someone else, it would fix all of their mental agony, all of their problems. But as we know, this is something they are not willing to do. It's a quick fix for them to project the blame and allows them to avoid accepting responsibility. Narcs do not like responsibility as they have the emotional maturity of a toddler. And you can see this in their abusive manipulative behaviour. A narc lives to abuse, this is their purpose in life. Their life is seen as an opportunity to inflict emotional pain upon you. The greatest accomplishment for a narc is to push their victim to suicide, outlive their children or have everyone to see things their way.
I wish that I did put my foot down then I would have saved myself 12 yers ago instead of 12 yrs later from my now ex narc. Now I must rebuild myself. And yes people will only treat you by what you tolerate. I thought this guy was just over exaggerating and took things a bit too serious. No contact limited to our children and looking for my way out after he discards me and refuses for me to leave with the kids. I am so grateful now that we were never married.... smh
My person who I live with is a master at breaking a person down really likes to engage u as u first wake up at 5 am or,7am has learned to hit u as you have barely awaken to set the guards up for the day and then just bombards,and explodes with crazy ridiculous,arguments. 🤪 like why did u cut something in this pan you put this,scratch in this pan ie:a Walmart or thrift store pan!) Hmmm and then blows thru that to hit u with 20 or,30 things that are very foolish and just crazy subjects that he held in that bothers him. The key is everything bothers them anyway he can manipulate change who you are get u to have to defend yourself the goal for them is control,and change the beautiful that u are! I hear the soul sucking sound from sun up to sundown 365! What has happened as I silently cry for such a pitiful human being!!
@kareninman2865 Time to make some hard decisions. You ready to leave them, or are you going to keep going on like that? I hope you embrace your needs and leave. They never , ever change.
@@heidireyes1909that’s how I felt with a friend. Every time she called me my blood pressure was going up and I needed an hour or two to calm my self down. She always looked for trouble, always tried to Debatte and argue with me. Literally putting words in my mouth, I could not take it anymore and had to cut her off.
I’ve just started setting boundaries and it continues so I have gone very low contact .I don’t go to their house because I’m their punching bag I always get yelled at and talked down to . Respect is really important to me .
I have experienced this behavior constantly from someone I was dating and no matter what good things I did for them it would always backfire on me and leave me hurt😢and exhausted! Now that I have walked away I’m dealing with all the side effects of the experience! You must leave and walk away instead of being a doormat! Love these videos because they validate my experience and affirm my decision to distance myself for my own mental health and wholeness! I still love and care for this person and was vulnerable in so many ways but enough is enough!
I loved this video. I finally realized that this person was the biggest negative force in my life and now its time to love myself and heal. Im lonely but its better than being abused and hurt daily.
True. Just wait and be patient till the right and emotionally healthy person walks into your life. There are only handfull of narcs. Most out there are loving n caring individuals brought up by healthy mothers. Narcs are raised by emotionally unhealthy mothers.
Yes it is. Thank you for your comment. I see you commented 3 yrs ago, I’m just starting my healing 1 1/2 months ago and hope you have healed and are in a much better place, now. I’m sure you are. 😊
Great video. The only thing that I would slightly disagree with is accepting is accepting them for who they are. Because that gets kind of murky. You can have something for what they are still not be emotionally entangled. Which is different from a supplement for who they are. The difference really is you are not accepting that person as the situation that you're in with them
1. Accept them for who they are. 2. Know yourself, know them, and know their abusive tactics. 3. Set boundaries then enforce them. 4. Do not share anything personal with them. Be blah. Get them to talk about themselves. 5. Avoid contact if possible; center and prepare yourself if contact must be made.
It's a relief to accept that I don't have to fight with evil doers but recognize who they really are and work on myself instead. This lesson is really what I need to learn today. Thank you for your counseling.
Same i had to go no contact with blood family because their issues became mine. I realized I was a co dependant fixer when these people started to used me. They will not like it when you tell them enough, but your stability matters more then their selfish needs.
I was in a relationship with someone who would use what I shared with them when I as the most vulnerable to attack me when we argued, then apologized and said they would never do it again. But of course that was impossible. The moment I stepped away from that person, I felt so much relieved and light and happier!
I’m leaving an extremely emotionally abusive situation. Today I decided to walk away. I just want to say thank you so much for creating this channel. You’re saving so many people. You’re very appreciated! Wishing you much love and positivity 💕
Nicole Ford thank you so much for a lovely comment! I am sorry you had to reach that point in your relationship but you should be so very proud of yourself for loving yourself enough to know that you deserve better! All the best to you! 💜
My energy and vibration is way more important than being a part of someone else's negative force. I've wasted 4 years with someone trying to send them my positive vibes and all I get is a drained feeling, emptiness and constantly accused of cheating when all I ever did was love and be there for them . Never cheated once. Thank you for helping push me in the direction I've been facing for so long, but never made that move for myself. I truly thank you!! Just subbed
Ive only been accused of cheating by two women. Both were cheating on me and had serious dangerous mental disorders (Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
These types of videos should be thought as a mandatory subject in school year after year just like English, Math, Science etc. Not as an elective but as a core class.
My narc husband has always come out with a snarky, condescending tone of voice that wilts my spirit like nothing else. I used to continue the conversation in spite of it. Now, I simply say, "And there's the tone" , get up, and walk away. I've also started the practice of "time sharing" our home. Whenever he's away, I do my work in our common areas. When he is at home, I'm usually in my own room.
I love that you are obviously a highly educated, qualified professional... yet you relay the information in such a caring and relatable way that it feels like I'm getting loving, sound advice from an older wiser sister. (And I think you may be younger than me!)
One thing about setting up boundaries is that it doesn't necessarily go down well with other people. You just have to accept that, and even lose a few 'friends' because of it. Many people get surprised by this.
I have a "friend" that I set a boundary with recently. I told her respectfully that I don't want unsolicited advice about how to handle my emotions and feelings. She lashed out about how she's only tried to be a good friend to me, that she just wants to see me happy and how she has been there for me when no one else has (Not true). And we have not talked in 2 weeks now and I am ok with that. I knew her reaction bothered me and now I understand that she was being emotionally manipulative and just disrespectful. Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge.
I felt so bad a few days ago but this channel is a life saver. I literally felt like ending it so many times and I’m already feeling so much more in control and confidence in myself. Thank you Stephanie.
This video contains so much helpful information. Thank you! It is exhausting dealing with toxic people. Although it may feel awkward at first, it feels wonderful when you walk away and no longer have to deal with the dynamic they create.
I really appreciated this video. It took me a really long time to distant myself from my pastor; I’m talking decades. I didn’t know that I was being abused emotionally and spiritually until I talked with my therapist. And when I distant myself I started noticing positive and just a much calmer energy coming back into my life. And another thing; he knew a lot about my life and I could barely breathe. I hate to say it but you have to be careful with ministers as well. Thank you for sharing this video. Wow
Yup I’m trying to disengage from clergyperson with whom I was close for decades. Now he’s my power of attorney and I’ve got to get whatever money there may be and me away from him…
When you said “you are golden” it was absolutely empowering for me to hear! A huge weight has been lifted off of me because I have researched and studied everything you have mentioned. Thanks
Thank you for this video. My sister keeps trying to push my buttons knowing full well I won't react out of respect for our mother. But by staying silent I've allowed her to go further and further. I need to learn how stay calm but still set boundaries to protect myself. It's not easy but I can't keep living this way, I'm dealing with a major depression and this added stress is making me feel worse. So thanks for your advice.
Charlotte, You are doing the right thing as hard as it is to endure your sisters negativity, keeping the peace for your Mother is admirable. Your sister is obviously jealous of you. I have endured this with both of my sisters. It is hard, but keep on doing the right thing, one day you can unleash out of earshot of your Mother. Just keep it classy.
Thank you so much for this. I really needed this. I have been praying for guidance and I've been listening for hours. I have a fiance and she is very manipulative and verbally abusive. I have been staying with her and trying to work toward balance. She uses that against me. Until I stood up and just left the home the otherday. We have a child together and I dont want to leave her but I may have to. I am grateful for this insight. I have no problem admitting this as a male. I know a lot of guys would not speak up on this and it takes courage.
Its hard to not share things with her because that to me has been the goal especially if I had the intention to be married. How do you overcome this? I realize that I cannot change anyone but myself. I just really need help navigating this because I do love her and at a spiritual level she is a twin flame.
Justin. Ty you for your comments .I can totally relate and dont even know you... If I can honestly give you my opinion for what its worth .....unless you find a " cure" for your fiance( no disrespect intended) or GOD himself heals her... Dont spend your life....only to find out what I just did this morning😔😕😟...Ill try to sum this up as short as I can ( cause thats one of. The many things he HATES about me😶) I take sooo long to explain something ..or I cant give simple quick answers ...I cant even communicate with people like a normal person anymore .... Because my words are in my head but afraid to come out cause for the better part of 33 yrs. Together and married for 25 of them this April ....( Ironic) only took me till my 25th wedding anniversary to realize if this was my marriage and my life ...then Id rather not be here anymore...U asked GOD to kill me..... So heres the summary I was 19 and he was 17 ..we did prom. We traveled .vactions . we were inseparable ffrom the day we met. And fast forward We lived together7 yrs cause I was afraid of one day having aa daughter and having her grow up with out a dad llike I did ..I was 8 yrs old whhen my mom divorced my selfish. Cheating .verbally abusive dad ..and I hated my dad cause he told me .I didnt have him in my life cause it was my moms fault for leaving him...fast forward....i ended up marrying my fiance after 7 yrs together and we had 2 boys and a girl. And fast forward.....the. Last 16 yrs my marriage has been dying because. I was too nieve and didn't see this coming and year after year i told myself hes not bad he just is going through something it will pass and. "WRONG" and now our children are scarred and disconnected....and broken ...because I was too stupid to leave him cause I promised myself my children wouldnt come up in 1 parent home or a broken family....WRONG AGAIN...... He didnt beat them or anything like that ..he just criticized their mother his wife year. after year and I feel like I have been asleep for the last 15 yrs and suddenly woke up the other Day and told my self ....OMG...I ruined my children ..becauae They now treat me like he does and they think thats normal.... And I cant leave right now cause I dont have means to support mmyself or my children.... And I honestly Dont care if I live or die .Im only here because I need to make sure my children find GOD again and that they are going to be protected by God. Through these end times and make it on HEAVENS side for ETERNITY...ITS ALL about them now.....so please dont let anyone destroy you or your child... Like I DId ....Im SO BROKEN ..... AnD ashamed that 25 years married and loyalty was for a broken life and that I should have Left and my children would have had a less painful emotionally existence with a mom and Dad in seperate lives.... Im sorry for this never ending TeXt ......I guess I Needed to say it....God. Bless you and I Hope you have safe and Healthy Life. 😊🌷
Absolutely it takes courage because unfortunately our society has programmed men to not feel their feelings and that is wrong and unhealthy! Men may not be as emotional as women but you’re still a human being with feelings.
@@StephanieLynCoaching amen to that, i can relate only, i know better to get not get intimate with this so confused person, keeping him at a distance, thought we could only be friends, cause we first shared Christian beliefs. ..but it's been a disaster for years, and seems impossible to get out of for so many reasons. ..Never really heard of this before, only the psycho I unfortunately cannot get out of my life, being a neighbor. He's a manic bipolar schizo'd, now "narc" added to that, that always likes to yell the F word when he doesn't get his way, yet claims to be a Christian while the cops do Nothing. Please someone advise. God Bless!
Childof God ...yes...take as prescribed. Same for the other 13 thumbs up.....after all....you won't be threatened will jail time for being wrong. That's not worth trying to teach sweetie. So never mind and enjoy your life.
jusayen so 💌thank you I will enjoy my life... a cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones... proverbs 17:22💞 positive Zone from now on thank you for your comment enjoy your life
Childof God I love that ,positive Zone from now on... Toxic people are in the least expected places John 10:10 they're out to kill ,steal and destroy, continue to protect your cheerful heart
I swear THIS IS the BEST video and advice I’ve ever heard !!! And I’ve heard trillions . I felt myself nodding in so much agreement. People say ‘ life’s too short for upset and no communication- NO - life’s too short to live in DRAma , that doesn’t change . Walk away for your own sanity..I did EVENTUALLY
Yep, Trying to change a person who does not want to change, or does not even realize that they are a toxic person is only going to explode in your face. Go slow, and be kind. Do not add to their conversation. It will only give opportunity for that toxic person to further exercise their "craft" on you. I believe there is a connection with this activity to what the Lord Jesus has said; Satan has desired to sift you as wheat. ...meaning that person is stripping you of the life that God has invested in you. Get away from them as quickly as possible.
Mike Hubbard ....I'll bet narcissists are more inclined to be athiests than people who are not narcissists. People who truly believe in a god (vs liars that use this as another tool of their deception trade) should naturally be the opposite of a mentally impaired narcissist. But I haven't found any statistics. Probably due to that politically correct stuff everywhere.
Mike Hubbard ...Thanks. I wasn't going anywhere....just adding my thoughts. Im guessing narcs are a larger % of the population than most people would guess. They don't ever tell people in casual conversation is one reason.
When I first started my journey and decided to get away from toxic people. (I had many due to my codependency) I found your channel and to be honest at first I'll be honest there was something about your tone that made me feel even more wounded. (Probably more codependency on my part)... fast forward a year and I've found your videos again and I don't hear that tone at all and out of the many You-tubers, I realize that you really know your stuff and you're speaking from your own experiences too which really helps. It is amazing how sometimes coming out of the fog of abuse, you can be wounded by even the smallest tone or words... Time, knowledge, self work really are our healers. Thank you so much Stephanie for providing this support to the public.
This is so awesome!!! I like that you said to love yourself more and distance yourself from the environment that is not good for you. Cutting someone out that you have emotionally invested in is hard, but it's what's best for your health.
I swear I needed this today! Thank you so much 💗 dealing w an emotionally abusive boyfriend... and I feel like I’ve gotten attached to him because he keeps me guessing. Stupid- I know. I was on a very self-loving, awakening journey before we met... and then after a couple months I started to realize he had some narcissist qualities and I told myself I’d be able to deal w it since I love myself and I know what he’s doing and he can’t tell me about myself or try to manipulate me but the longer the relationship progressed the more he’s started to take a toll on me.... and sometimes I find it hard to get out of bed because I’ve let him affect me this way and I let myself down by being affected so much by his actions or in-actions and disregard for my feelings.
Take a break from him. When you create distance, you become stronger. He wouldn't be in your ear telling you how crazy you are or making you feel like your feelings are invalid. Don't get frustrated when they try to make you feel like what your saying is wrong or like you have no clue what your talking about. This is how they keep you stuck and you'll start to doubt yourself and everything you do and say. You'll eventually start to believe your crazy. Your not.. Your not crazy and what you feel is important. Create some distance and you'll eventually feel better about yourself and realise that you've never been the problem. Forgive yourself for not recognizing the signs of abuse. You were trying to figure out why it was happening while the person blamed you for it happening. They are the way they are and there's nothing you can do to change it.
You are so right .YOU have to realize the abusive person is toxic sick and probably will never change.when you change your reaction. to thier hatred and rachtness and limit time you spend with. Them.......
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Just from watching this video I have literally done a 180 degree about face, it’s my husband that projects, is passive aggressive and unhealthy. This has confirmed my “gut feelings” about this situation. I now feel empowered and confident that I can arm myself with the tools I need to remove this from my life 💜 xxxxx
Love this. I've been emotional hurt and drained for helping people. I'm indeed of help healing myself and have a healthy relationship. Thanks for your guidance now i see my weaknesses what i need to work on.
The emotional abuse from my abuser gradually built up over time. Things only ended for me when I left. I can’t stress that enough. I waited 4 years for him to deal with his issues. Instead they always defended their behaviour as a reaction to how I was being- “treat me better by doing what I need you &!then I won’t treat you like that”. I accept that they are on their own journey and I am better off in life without them. 🌿Healing with self love, having a relationship with myself ❤️, & slowly distancing myself from other toxic people who refuse to respect my boundaries.
So true when you live in a toxic environment it makes life a living hell, It takes courage and a lot of will power to get rid of someone who poisons your existence,is not worth it even if is your own family!!
maybe... because they are right? women always want men to change, but never look at themselves. and when a woman is acting "crazy" (oh, you cant say that) the man has to behave differently. if one would reverse that logic: victim blaming, as you claim.
This is what I'm working on with coworkers. Happened today cut them right off Stopped the negative trash talk about another coworker was like they got hit by a train felt good.
I set boundaries with him. But he doesn’t care. Just gives me the silent treatment for weeks at a time, Really hard to live like that when you live together because I tried to set a boundary and he gets upset and wants to punish me.
Yes! I experience severe consequences for trying to set boundaries and limits with my narcissistic mother. She even told me once, that there will be NO placing boundaries on her! Our circumstances are such that she presently holds a lot of power so IF I do reach that point where I have to confront her and set a boundary it’s immediate retaliation and punishment in some way where it will really hurt me. It’s an awful way to live.
the thought of accepting always had the connotation that i accept their behavior towards me as well. somehow once i began learning about narcissism and the dynamic with a narcissist i started to see the reality of what had been going on on a deeper level, and how it was not going to change, and thats how the healthy acceptance happened on its own. I heard being told to accept through my own filter until i got the clarity. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't my responsibility to change them, and seeing that i unknowingly had an unconscious belief that i WAS responsible for them, hence my suffering from staying engaged. I didnt even know how much responsibility i took for this kind of person! I am also seeing the purpose of this experience. It wasnt a waste of time. It helped me see where i dont put myself first, think of myself, and also getting me in touch with the reality of my childhood so i can feel and process it realistically. Its helping me get in touch with the grief! What a blessing in disguise.... nonetheless it is a hard journey.
Take your focus and energy off trying to help or change a narc abuser that doesn't want to change, or doesn't have the will to change. Leave them alone with their little tantrums. They're going to keep narc-ing whether you try to correct them or not. Take that focus and energy for yourself, it's yours anyway, they're just trying to take it from you because they don't have any of their own.
Also we also needed the narc like a drug.. for our happiness. We were willing to be second or third for a crumb since we grew a huge tolerance...and we needed a fix. Becoming self reliant is what God wants from us. They teach us to be so uncomfortable that we either crumb le...or rise rise rise.....
I’m struggling so so bad distancing myself. I need to practice these things. Thank you for your video. I know I have to walk away for good to feel better. I’m so depressed and my anxiety is so bad .
I'm struggling the same. Hang in there. I'm finally healing and don't let them determine or control how I feel. It takes time and I still get hurt but I'm learning. Best of luck to you. Know your worth. You are really amazing!!
Hey sorry, to hear that Roxanne I have been trying to understand how to deal with this for many years, and now it has reached the end So you are not alone, dearest stay bless and be strong 🙌
I blocked my narc mom. When it comes to my grandmother I simply just ignore and don’t see her most of the day. 2019 has empowered me ....after awhile you just get tired of bullshit including family lol
Thank god , I took stand and simply cut my so-called friends ✌but it was not easy it made me feel so lost because I have never been in that position to take such step for myself although I suffered alot in my life but because of you I got to know my boundaries and enforced it.... 🔥 now living a peaceful life #no to #unhealthy#friendship ✨👍...a big thank you sweetheart ,may God bless you ✨
Setting and enforcing boundaries. is what l got to learn at the hands of a severely Narcissistic mother and her 2 evil female golden children . Being an empath the life taught me a lot .That is worth learning. I am not just an empath . Now I am an empath-rock.Almost all the guys and ladies who make videos on Narcissistic abuse ,empaths, earth angels or light workers do a tremendous job that is so precious .May they all stay blessed.!
I am having trouble leaving my physically & emotionally abusive boyfriend of 5 years.Thankyou for your videos. I always felt like it was my job to help anyone who needed me.I see the difference now between enabling &help.I think I am almost ready to give up this fight to help him get better....
Stephanie... You have a beautiful gift! Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom in helping us heal & recover from this emotional torture... You are making such a difference for thousands of us... XO
This is exactly what I needed to hear. You've said everything so well and easy to understand and do. I feel so disappointed in myself for letting the emotionally abusive roommate get the better of me in this way. But I must be self loving and let the sting go and master these practices as they are going to save my life. I can't cut her out of my life because of my living situation but this is an amazing reminder of what i need to do for myself.
It's really true no matter on how much we educate on these topics , we're all human and it's going to hurt sometimes when someone does something upsetting. It takes a lot of practice and consciousness to put all these into effort
I believe you are right! To all the others maybe sharing my journey thus far will help you, so here goes. I’m just realizing this with my marriage, thinking I can handle anything and improve the situation is probably why I’ve stayed for literally a decade too long. Setting boundaries did happen but literally his putting finger tips in ears was a common response. It’s now at the point where he just looks past me when I speak. Consequences for a misbehaving adult need to come from strength and I wasn’t ready then for the likelihood of my family busting up. I acknowledge it! We have 3 kids together so I thought keeping the family together and managing the outbursts (as I like to call them) was my role as mother. Realize, I’m not his mom and I don’t owe him anything emotionally. Also, I am preparing now as he’s not going to self reflect enough to get any professional help. Talking with a couple girl friends about all the different things that occurred made me realize how long the list really was. Taking that step was vulnerable for me and now I feel accountable to deal with the situation as a whole!! They confirmed my thinking! I have also made an appointment to get ongoing counseling. Without putting my crap on them, I connected with 2 adult children to see what they are feeling. One said: “I don’t want to discuss the big D word, but I’ve thought it may be coming since I was a young teen. Mom, you need to do what’s best for you.” That conversation was emotionally what I needed. I think prior to it I was too worried about protecting them and years of putting myself last, well was a habit. I regret the anxiety an unhealthy household was on the kids. Change is coming, I promise and I don’t make promises that I can’t keep. Very soon. Reiterating boundaries and setting deadline for next steps this week. I have inadvertently shown the kids how to emotionally survive, now it’s time to show them how to thrive. Highly recommend this channel. I recommend reading self help books and watching these great videos. Have watched a few already and will be watching more. It’s part of my renewed self care routine. And I should have sought help and counsel years ago! I hope there are a few tips for others who need it. And one other thing. Your community will rally behind you!! Let them in to support you!
Abusive people are often able to put you in a state of emotional crisis. And there are two ways to solve a crisis: the short-term and the long-term ways. The short-term and easier way is to get angry, to lash out at the other person, to become depressed or resentful, etc. The long-term and more difficult way is, like you say, to stand back, to react in a calm and collected manner, and to take the appropriate measures for the other person to treat you with more respect. A lot more useful approach!
This is so helpful as im a very strong person to begin with .This problem seems to be an epidemic these days and no one should have to put up with it ,especially good people like ourselves.I have very high self esteem and as a God believing person know i deserve better and am working on myself and am getting stronger. No one deserves to be hurt or controlled and we all have our. own minds and dont need to put up with this undeserving treatment. Thank you for your kind words of sage advice. God bless
Stephanie I just have to let you know how much I appreciate your videos!! I've become a better version of myself mentally because of your videos. I truly know what it means to love myself now. Not only that but so much more. I've been sending people links to your videos who need your help as well. Thank you so much!
Self awareness is being true to your self,knowing who you are,knowing your own character and owning it with all the flaws and the plus points,character outweighs everything
I definitely have to accept this person's toxic behavior. I can't control or change him. I have tried and tried and nothing works. Thanks for this video Very helpful
I agree as well, even though I’ve practiced it subconsciously for almost 6 years now since I got married to a VERY manipulative narcissist whom I considered to be a psychopath until a couple days back. My inner world with my personal struggles, issues, desires, dreams, even work in progress is a taboo to talk about. Several times that some of it accidentally slipped off my tongue, I regretted it almost instantly because it was used against me many many times afterwards.
Never really heard of this before, only the psycho I unfortunately cannot get out of my life, being a neighbor. He's a manic bipolar schizo'd, now "narc" added to that, that always likes to yell the F word when he doesn't get his way, yet claims to be a Christian while the cops do Nothing. Please someone advise. God Bless!
Woman of God Covered in His Blood I have a nut case neighbor as well. 😩 Report everything to court so they get a caretaker. Apart from that: IGNORE!! No reaction, because that is what they want.
I wish I had found your channel ten years ago or.more- you could have saved me so much heartache! Better late late never though, right? What you're doing here is so extremely valuable and the fact you're making it available for free is so wonderful. Not everyone can afford a therapist and many of us didn't have great parents to teach us this stuff. So Thank you so much for all you do!! ❤
I agree with u. U can’t fix people learn to accept but if someone has bad energy, negative controlling learn to drop communication and distance. U feel better and ur in peace and ur in control of the situation. When they can’t muliplicate u they piss off!!! ❤️💪
Many thanks
1. Accept them for who they are
2. Set boundaries
3. Don't share anything personal with them as they will use it against you
4. Don't let them manipulate you or get under your skin, accept self love.
5. If possible stay away from them for your sanity especially emotionally.
Yes My husband's nephew Stephen Harrell that way is taking my 4 year old kid with out my consent or permission. Yeah "manipulator hates boundaries
@@maryadams9343 seems like you put yourself first
You should never keep family especially your ex or husband's family away from the kids you share together
@@Ynot72-x6o I'm the Mother and I know, I don't call it greedy I call it protecting my own child. You don't know of how being a mother. And I'm still married to my husband Ok. His nephew is a bad influence OK ? For yo information So Go on !
It's been a great help
How can I deal with silent treatment from an emotionally abusive person.its killing me.
Your own family can be the worst enemy
Ohh yeah ive learned that.
Say It
A family member is a living hell!!
@@Terri48 Sooo true.
Ann Thatch They very often are. I walked away from all of them. It took me 2 years to have some peace of mind.
I wish I could walk away quicker from abusive people...I try and argue with them and point out their behaviour...it's such a waste of my energy
Unless they are hurting a child or animal. I want you to walk away i will save you years.
Recognizing these people so you never Ben get close is my advise. They are takers, never wrong, never apologize, never see your point of view!! Just know the signs and it helps me. Don’t go near them ever, don’t let them in
Don’t waste your time dump their ass
Hei amelia believe me its like talking to a wall they dont get it they do t want to get it.
They will never change.
Just end that relationship go out smile at the sun and be happy.
Wish yu the best.
Plz start watching Dr Ramani and one more Lisa on Narsesists .
They both have said plan a exit keep it to your soul till ready .
Pack your bags go silently to friends place for few says then move out .
Dont take calls go no Contacr .
Dont do any thing just chill .
Let law do its work tell the truth with Recorded proof .
Dont allow them to play a victim .
Just expose them with proof tht cops cant deny nor he or his supportive monkeys .
Be calm
No matter wht
This kid of 5 does .
Panic them .
Firewall them
Set Bounderies . So strong tht their souls shiver .
Watch clip on
What scares Narcesists .
Get yourself armed with truth with proof .
These kids will Run away .
They cant take the public shame any more .
Become financially indipendent .
They can block cards to ctrl u
Just Discard them when u r ready .
I'm 55, and I stopped years ago trying to change anyone. I'm in control of myself, and I leave it to God.
in other words you do nothing
Great
I prayed a lot and beg God to help me walk away from that toxic situation.. and I did it...thanks God for that strength He has granted.
I don’t want someone in my life that I have to constantly tell to stop disrespecting me. That’s way to draining for me! 😊 And I agree tell these type of people nothing about you!
You get used to the behavior. They lower your expectations
Wow ! How come i met someone who does the same as me and thinks the same . I guess because they had the same people in their life lol
Exactly! It never stops. They can’t resist jabbing or slipping subtle insults into every interaction.
Exactly. Their response always tends to be on the order of "oh, so it's all about what YOU feel" or "I have no idea what your talking about?"
For me who is quite introverted I have a social session each week and it mentally drains me and the more people I'm with, the more alone I feel because I feel like I can't talk to anyone.
This video was soo helpful. He would "spoil" me by buying me things, buying me trips, concerts, taking me out to eat yet when it came down to a disagreement/ argument.. he would disrespect me.. say im ungreatful because he "works so hard" for me and call me names and yell at me. I dont care if you can spend all the money in the world for me, when there's no respect.. Im done.
Diana Claros Co-sign. Showering you with gifts was the replacement for real love because they’re incapable.
😩 The same kind of boyfriend my 17yo halfsister has... Makes me sick.
She is so brainwashed, I had to brake off contact with her because she lets him be disrespectful to me and friends. He keeps her isolated, threatens any male (schoolmates of hers, friends of mine) to not spend time with her or he will break their bones.
She says she „loves“ him & we just „don‘t know him“, he has „positive sides“!
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I am in a toxic relationship i need to leave. I need to hear this..
I have the same and abnormal jelousy blames guilts if any argument always guite finish now i m done with all bulshit. Always blames and guilt in me mevee good at all i just say goodbye for that person its horific i got hit by the 5littre bottle in the head was collapse for couple seconds he evwnt didnt say sorry pumshing in the head call me nasty names. I was woried abaut my health and he start abusing me blame me he took all information abaut my past against me with that i villing to see profesional help its hard what that lady says to walk away u feel like u depemt from them i just got tired emocinaly and fizikly to do my best and end up in the bad peeson like always told me how i m ungreatfull
@@karadiberlino dont giv3 up on your sis I wish mine would help m3
I had never been in an emotional abuse relationship until I met my husband. I didn’t even know this behavior existed. If I could redo my whole life I would never of met my husband or walked away on the first red flag. If anyone you’re dating brings you down call them out right then and there. Don’t get walked all over. Don’t let anyone change you as a person.
Inspiration right here. I feel exactly the same.
That’s because emotional abuse is hidden more than physical abuse! It sucks I have to live with it for three more years. 😤
@Monika Singh (PGDM 14-16Dom)
I must way in on this. Forgive me.
I've been in a abusive relationship for over 30yrs. I didn't want to bother others with my problems. It would only make them worry or make the situation worse.
I had places to go but passed them up. I hand the money set back to leave but spent it in procrastination. It's been 31yrs. Going on 32. I'm a mess, shattered and broken. Highly sensitive to anything remotly close to what i endured all those yrs. I must say I found God while living in the pit of hell. Didn't need a church...just a seeking reading Mathew to revelations. I would not have lived this long without the joy I received in my time reading.
You stay because you feel you have no choice. I will say the choice to stay will only destroy your mental and soon after, your physical...this will give him a greater power over your life.
Your life has power. That power is wrapped up in the thing your husband wants to destroy and it seem like he is winning.
Pack your bags and kids if any. Go back home a vagabond. No shame in asking for help or receiving it. There's no shame in humbling. Obviously your man insisted you stay low and in your place.
Your not anyone's garbage or trash. What you've experienced was and is not good. It's pure evil.
If your relationship is not good to begin with, it will get worse not better. I'm 60 and went back to my mother's house. I didn't know how broken I was until I got back. So glad she was still around. It took a week of healing in laughter to wake me up to leaving what was destroying me.
Don't resent what your husband taught you. Help others like you escape the madness of living in a prison alone in fear just because you married a man who can't measure up to standards he place so high and feels good to lower you. Your not a monkey... It is God who give a life.... it is the devil that will take it away.
I feel exactly the same 😢
@Monika Singh (PGDM 14-16Dom) good grief! You need to get out or walk away from him. Stay safe please and contact the police, please.
I think the abusive person will always try and push boundaries and test to get a reaction.. you literally have to let them be someone else's problem.
Been my life .. i understand really
🙌🏾 🙌🏾 🙌🏾… someone elsewhere problem 🤩
Exactly! As long as there’s someone willing to put up with their behavior, there will never be any incentive for them to change. Walk away, they won’t change.
My son thanked me for good advice:
Let her be “ God’s problem “
I told a rejected suitor just how Evil his spreading COVID to me.
Superspreader saliva on a cup he invited me to sample!
ZERO further contact act or comment will happen.
I just wanted him to know
Don't change nobody ..when you see crazy coming, cross the street. Thank you, very helpful 🙏!
People take kindness as weakness. I'm just a good-hearted giving genuine person but I realize that people are not always going to give me the same in return. I stopped being a people-pleaser. And I've learned to say No !!! I've learned to invest in people that invest in me. It feels great to know your worth. I can't change people I can only change how people treat me.Thank you
Lisa White
👍🏻😔
👏 👏
Some people genuinely appreciate kindness but it is the narcissistic and selfish people that abuse it.
Lisa White good for you! It's a process, but sometimes it needs to be done. Otherwise you'll have no peace & feel drained all the time.
❤
I try to avoid people who live life like it’s a game. Every interaction can feel like a power play, a play for dominance. Yuck! Who has time for that? Why not just live life in a joyful, spontaneous way?!
Totally! I'm repelled by people who gamify every interaction or constantly talk about who has leverage. Live and let live. Joyful and spontaneous - amen!! :-)
I love your perspective that's exactly my thoughts
That is such a good point and perspective. Thank you I will use this to assess ppl now.
Ann ❤️
I always said that to the narc. Life is stressful enough with what we cannot control, so why make the things we can control miserable?
I figured out that when I was pouring out my heart and soul looking for ways to fix myself and our relationship, he did NOT care. Only to take bits of my words, twist them and tie me in knots with them.
Narcs don't have anything such as heart. They don't feel anything. All they know is mind game and manipulation. They know exactly how to push your buttons and then shift the whole blame on you. Gosh been through that he'll fortunately or unfortunately.
So true. I am in the same position. It is so painful and confusing.
It's becoming clearer and clearer as more time passes by, he just doesn't care! That makes you feel so worthless that is shocking! After 10 years it's still shocking! Crazy making. Learn, learn to love yourself, pray and be specific and ask God to help you, he will give you discernment and peace. Move forward, step by step & don't look back! God bless you! He will never leave you nor for sake you.
At least you flushed him out, to his true colors. Learn from it, and know the true moral character of anyone new that you date. Have high standards.
That’s happening to me. I even feel guilt and begin to think he may be right
The only way to escape the abuse is to cut off all communication and walk away... the peace of mind you get is priceless...family can be worse to deal with than other bullies..your emotional attachment is innate..
I agree . I had a family member talk very abusive at a big family event. I just walked away and totally left the area !!
True...peace of mind is priceless...Hope to go no contact from my abuser...
The people you surround yourself with can make or break your life. We must protect our energy. We must decide whether someone is good or bad for us and cut those negative off.
I agree it's just best to ignore the emotional abuser as much as possible, instead of confronting them. First, they are very good at manipulating, and they'll probably twist your words so you end up feeling bad about saying anything.
barbh1 Yeah just mirror their attitude. They will never learn through words. In fact they will use them against you.
Knowledge is power, silence is power.
If they demand explanation for your change (not being available anymore), you have no time (make excuses, just like they used to do) and if they insist, play dumb. Say you are really busy and will respond soon...but you don‘t.
Give them a taste of themselves...
But NEVER tell them what you think! Their inferiority complex is like a deadly insect.
Protect yourself at any cost! ❤️
100%
I learned this the hard way. Every time I tried to have a conversation to save the friendship, she would gaslight and make herself the victim. It's sad when you realize someone who you were once close to is toxic, but you'll be so much happier once you let them go. I live with her, so I still treat her with kindness, but I just expect her nasty behavior. This keeps me from being disappointed by her actions while also still being a good person.
On point!!
Julia Rose I had a friendship with a lady narcissistic. I was grieving over a parent dying of cancer and relying on this narc for emotional support. My family members are emotionally abusive so I could not rely on them. I had to cut off my relationship with her and some of my family. If you live with a narcissist move away from them and cut all contact.! They will eat you alive.
What you allow will continue.
It's true, but when the abusers are parents or people you must live with because you have no other option, it's really difficult to do much about it. It's not like you want to be a doormat, but sometimes you don't really have a choice, unfortunately.
If you stop them from verbal abuse, they will find other ways, e.g. saying that you don't earn enough money and you should give more into the family budget. There are people with whom the only solution is to leave. It's really hard though because most our common friends just love him, adore him and don't believe me when I say he is a totally different person in public, among friends and behind closed doors. There are just a few people who support me. I just hope I can make it and move away. But I know if I don't do that I will fall ill again. I have been struggeling with serious health issues in the past 4 years. His answer to this was "It's only in your mind. Why don't you just try to ignore your illness?" (which means work as much as earlier)
@@sweetgeorgia70 Speaking from experience, if you move away your health will slowly start improving. In about a year you will be a completely different person in what concerns physical illnesses, but I can assure you that healing the emotional damage will take much, much longer than that. I pray you manage to get out and finally breathe. You will never regret leaving. God will make a way for you to be able to support yourself financially. Wishing you the very best!
@@heliaalves9062 Thank you!
Györgyi Barna going through the exact same thing. I hope things get better for you!
I'm 4 months pregnant and am walking away from my ex partner, an emotionally abusive bully. Thanks for the video :-)
Haitch Cee how do you do it. I feel like I’m drowning and I need advice I’m really struggling. could we speak one on one?
I was married for ten years to a narcissist musician cheating all the time but ironically he was very kind. My rebound is much worse now that I'm pregnant 8 months with my first child he controls the money and knows for now I'm forced to be with him. I feel your pain because pregnancy effects everything regardless of knowing when to leave...
Haitch Cee same here sis! 🙋🏻♀️
Amazing, good for you. So much respect for you 💕🙏
@@tribecalledmaya how are you now?
Bullies are hurt, insecure people who tend to fall in this category of emotionally abusive. Gadge the person you're interacting with, always stand firm in who you are and don't take things personally. Practice, practice, practice.
Ms. Stephanie's advice is legit and I agree.
Little people belittle
I needed to hear this. I finally let go of someone who was disrespectful and didn't value me. Thank you
Weldone👏
On my journey ❤
Me to 👍
one of my past therapists taught me that you teach people how to treat you.
Rachel Hudson Some people just wont change though... better to cut off contact with that person instead of teaching them.
No I don't believe in that...
That's what I'm saying. If you never let them get away with bs and or you cut them off you have taught them your boundries. Once you start doing that you build up your self esteem and people will know not to mess with you. It's a difficult process and I've been through it.
I did this and all it got me was an emotionally abusive person that turned violent
Ken Richard i agree but do stand up for yourself
The action of distancing from someone toxic conveys a message without having to necessarily speak it. Distancing oneself from toxic people removes a negative from one's life and allows room/time for positive change. It's a huge win-win and can absolutely be life-changing.
Exactly. I notice that they desperately attempt to re-establish contact once they’ve gone too far, but the same patterns being immediately. No contact is the only answer.
I think this is the best solution ever and it works best for me, to simply disengage and distance myself from them. Hurt people hurt people and they are mostly unconscious about it. Some are not unconscious yet they haven't figured out how to stop it or may not even want to because of the power it gives them. But I don't have to engage or play into it. Basically we teach people how to treat us and it's up to us to distance ourselves as much as possible. At first I thot this was part of the fight/flight/freeze in trauma, but it's put there inside of us for a reason. So flee little bird! Flee!
@@SongOJoy55
Yes! I have cut loose from them. I will let them sit somewhere and lick their wounds and blame me for everything wrong in their angry, spiteful lives (instigated by manipulating, micro-managing, control-freak wife). And meanwhile I’m going lippity-clippity in the opposite direction and finally enjoying peace and freedom. I had to put up with it as long as my grandchildren were small, but now, thank God Almighty, my grandchildren are teenagers and can pretty much manage without me. 🎵“Hello peace and joy.🙏Good bye abuse and torment”.🤗🎶 🙏❤️
@@salliegallegos918 I agree with you, but some relationships you cannot just walk away from. What I love about her advice is how to handle those relationships. So ellequently and powerful!
Indeed!
Recently after subtle abuse from time to time of letting it go. I finally decided not to entertain the idea of when he wants to fake apologize I have to take him back . After name calling me few days later wanting to apologize and talk to me I said no for my own sake and I’m so happy I choose to just remove and isolate myself period.
Steph Beauty Artistry good for You!
Do not fall for their fake apology. They will tell you it's going to change and be different this time, it won't. Narcissists grow very old and still stay the same, their manipulative and abusive behaviours never change. The same narc could be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old... they will still be exactly the same at 80 years old as when they were 20. They stay the same because they never look at themselves, they're always blaming everyone else for how they feel, they always have a victim to abuse. If they could just look within, instead of projecting the blame on to someone else, it would fix all of their mental agony, all of their problems. But as we know, this is something they are not willing to do. It's a quick fix for them to project the blame and allows them to avoid accepting responsibility. Narcs do not like responsibility as they have the emotional maturity of a toddler. And you can see this in their abusive manipulative behaviour.
A narc lives to abuse, this is their purpose in life. Their life is seen as an opportunity to inflict emotional pain upon you. The greatest accomplishment for a narc is to push their victim to suicide, outlive their children or have everyone to see things their way.
I wish that I did put my foot down then I would have saved myself 12 yers ago instead of 12 yrs later from my now ex narc. Now I must rebuild myself. And yes people will only treat you by what you tolerate. I thought this guy was just over exaggerating and took things a bit too serious. No contact limited to our children and looking for my way out after he discards me and refuses for me to leave with the kids. I am so grateful now that we were never married.... smh
Pay attention to how you feel after you leave this person’s presence. If you feel the negative spectrum of emotions it’s time to set boundaries.
My person who I live with is a master at breaking a person down really likes to engage u as u first wake up at 5 am or,7am has learned to hit u as you have barely awaken to set the guards up for the day and then just bombards,and explodes with crazy ridiculous,arguments. 🤪 like why did u cut something in this pan you put this,scratch in this pan ie:a Walmart or thrift store pan!) Hmmm and then blows thru that to hit u with 20 or,30 things that are very foolish and just crazy subjects that he held in that bothers him. The key is everything bothers them anyway he can manipulate change who you are get u to have to defend yourself the goal for them is control,and change the beautiful that u are! I hear the soul sucking sound from sun up to sundown 365! What has happened as I silently cry for such a pitiful human being!!
Great advice. Always listen to your gut feeling or survival sign.
@kareninman2865
Time to make some hard decisions. You ready to leave them, or are you going to keep going on like that? I hope you embrace your needs and leave. They never , ever change.
So true. My blood pressure goes up everyone when I'm around them or even talk or text on the phone
@@heidireyes1909that’s how I felt with a friend. Every time she called me my blood pressure was going up and I needed an hour or two to calm my self down. She always looked for trouble, always tried to Debatte and argue with me. Literally putting words in my mouth, I could not take it anymore and had to cut her off.
I’ve just started setting boundaries and it continues so I have gone very low contact .I don’t go to their house because I’m their punching bag I always get yelled at and talked down to . Respect is really important to me .
I have experienced this behavior constantly from someone I was dating and no matter what good things I did for them it would always backfire on me and leave me hurt😢and exhausted! Now that I have walked away I’m dealing with all the side effects of the experience! You must leave and walk away instead of being a doormat! Love these videos because they validate my experience and affirm my decision to distance myself for my own mental health and wholeness! I still love and care for this person and was vulnerable in so many ways but enough is enough!
you’re saving me by helping me leave an abusive relationship with a narcissist. Thankyou so much.
Kitten xx RUN!! 🏃🏼♀️💓
Kitten xx best wishes
Are u ok hun.xxx
Please be careful. Plan ahead and don't let them know.
Do you want an Others ?😉
I loved this video. I finally realized that this person was the biggest negative force in my life and now its time to love myself and heal. Im lonely but its better than being abused and hurt daily.
True. Just wait and be patient till the right and emotionally healthy person walks into your life. There are only handfull of narcs. Most out there are loving n caring individuals brought up by healthy mothers.
Narcs are raised by emotionally unhealthy mothers.
No Music No Life idk the person I have experience with has the sweetest mother I have ever met. I wouldn’t generalize like that. ❤️
@@triptikumari2504 Why you blaming the mothers? Maybe cause fathers are often absent from children's lives altogether?
Biggest negative force in my life. I could not have said this better.
Yes it is. Thank you for your comment. I see you commented 3 yrs ago, I’m just starting my healing 1 1/2 months ago and hope you have healed and are in a much better place, now. I’m sure you are. 😊
I like this video!
Self love, firm boundaries and mininalistic information sharing is the key to protect yourself from emotional abusers.
Hey, Anton V! I'm surprised to see you here. I watch your videos by the way.
Amen to that!! I learned this the hard way personally so I'm going to work hard to not repeat that mistake again
True!
I’m still trying to learn this.
Very good
Great video. The only thing that I would slightly disagree with is accepting is accepting them for who they are. Because that gets kind of murky. You can have something for what they are still not be emotionally entangled. Which is different from a supplement for who they are. The difference really is you are not accepting that person as the situation that you're in with them
1. Accept them for who they are.
2. Know yourself, know them, and know their abusive tactics.
3. Set boundaries then enforce them.
4. Do not share anything personal with them. Be blah. Get them to talk about themselves.
5. Avoid contact if possible; center and prepare yourself if contact must be made.
How do you set boundaries with your boss? Especially when you need the job? And don't say quit..if I could l woujd
It's a relief to accept that I don't have to fight with evil doers but recognize who they really are and work on myself instead. This lesson is really what I need to learn today. Thank you for your counseling.
Having compassion and having no boundaries. It's a balancing act. We must have self-compassion too
Absolutely just nailed it
Jenny Caragia,I admire your pretty smile ☺️
I've been estranged for my entire family and I'm at peace.
Pretty much me too. I'm doing fine. I know I'm loved by God & have other good people in my life. I feel healthier.
It’s necessary sometimes. We have to get past the fact that they’re family, & once we get away, we realize how much happier we are. ☺️🌼
I plan to do the same in the upcoming months
That is where I am heading.
Same i had to go no contact with blood family because their issues became mine. I realized I was a co dependant fixer when these people started to used me. They will not like it when you tell them enough, but your stability matters more then their selfish needs.
That was my solution; completely eliminated them from my life. Period.
Sue Ludwig 🙌
I was in a relationship with someone who would use what I shared with them when I as the most vulnerable to attack me when we argued, then apologized and said they would never do it again. But of course that was impossible. The moment I stepped away from that person, I felt so much relieved and light and happier!
Shine bright like the star you are 🌟
You lucky he even apologized
sorry bt lesson learnt.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, thankfully you left that situation 🙏
Not to judge yet it is to accept . Stand strong to those who drain you , cling to the ones who make you a better person .
I’m leaving an extremely emotionally abusive situation. Today I decided to walk away. I just want to say thank you so much for creating this channel. You’re saving so many people. You’re very appreciated! Wishing you much love and positivity 💕
Nicole Ford thank you so much for a lovely comment! I am sorry you had to reach that point in your relationship but you should be so very proud of yourself for loving yourself enough to know that you deserve better! All the best to you! 💜
Nikki is
Nikki
God bless you abundantly.
@@StephanieLynCoaching I wish you all the luck in the world. I haven’t left yet
I love myself enough to free myself from a toxic relationship and I'm confidence to stand up for myself. ☺
My energy and vibration is way more important than being a part of someone else's negative force. I've wasted 4 years with someone trying to send them my positive vibes and all I get is a drained feeling, emptiness and constantly accused of cheating when all I ever did was love and be there for them . Never cheated once. Thank you for helping push me in the direction I've been facing for so long, but never made that move for myself. I truly thank you!! Just subbed
Same with the cheating thing for me. I've never cheated and he's always accusing me of it. That's so weird. Best of luck to you!
Ditto 👑 Queen! My Sentiment Exactly! ✌Peace & Bliss ☮ 💜
Ive only been accused of cheating by two women. Both were cheating on me and had serious dangerous mental disorders (Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
These types of videos should be thought as a mandatory subject in school year after year just like English, Math, Science etc. Not as an elective but as a core class.
YES. Telling them what they are doing will never "expose" them. It sometimes only gives them fuel.
Walk.
Away.
My narc husband has always come out with a snarky, condescending tone of voice that wilts my spirit like nothing else. I used to continue the conversation in spite of it. Now, I simply say, "And there's the tone" , get up, and walk away. I've also started the practice of "time sharing" our home. Whenever he's away, I do my work in our common areas. When he is at home, I'm usually in my own room.
OMG that is my situation now. He's been home due to his 2 week vacation and it's been living hell.😪
I’m glad you spoke up for yourself and walked away! Good job! We must not entertain bad manners!!
@@AnneRr0_0 Timeshare is a really great idea. Keep defining your boundaries!! Good luck!
Such a good idea...time sharing.
I wouldn’t say anything though…lol and divorce…
I love that you are obviously a highly educated, qualified professional... yet you relay the information in such a caring and relatable way that it feels like I'm getting loving, sound advice from an older wiser sister. (And I think you may be younger than me!)
One thing about setting up boundaries is that it doesn't necessarily go down well with other people. You just have to accept that, and even lose a few 'friends' because of it. Many people get surprised by this.
I have a "friend" that I set a boundary with recently. I told her respectfully that I don't want unsolicited advice about how to handle my emotions and feelings. She lashed out about how she's only tried to be a good friend to me, that she just wants to see me happy and how she has been there for me when no one else has (Not true). And we have not talked in 2 weeks now and I am ok with that. I knew her reaction bothered me and now I understand that she was being emotionally manipulative and just disrespectful. Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge.
I felt so bad a few days ago but this channel is a life saver. I literally felt like ending it so many times and I’m already feeling so much more in control and confidence in myself. Thank you Stephanie.
Me too!
Glad you are here Stephanie, you matter l hope life gets better for you.
She is wonderful ❤
This video contains so much helpful information. Thank you! It is exhausting dealing with toxic people. Although it may feel awkward at first, it feels wonderful when you walk away and no longer have to deal with the dynamic they create.
I’ve watched this video 5 times. The information is priceless!
Self Parenting is the best advice that I never knew was so important for me to do for myself. I love your Channel. Thank you!
I really appreciated this video. It took me a really long time to distant myself from my pastor; I’m talking decades. I didn’t know that I was being abused emotionally and spiritually until I talked with my therapist. And when I distant myself I started noticing positive and just a much calmer energy coming back into my life. And another thing; he knew a lot about my life and I could barely breathe. I hate to say it but you have to be careful with ministers as well. Thank you for sharing this video. Wow
Yup I’m trying to disengage from clergyperson with whom I was close for decades. Now he’s my power of attorney and I’ve got to get whatever money there may be and me away from him…
When you said “you are golden” it was absolutely empowering for me to hear! A huge weight has been lifted off of me because I have researched and studied everything you have mentioned. Thanks
Thank you for this video. My sister keeps trying to push my buttons knowing full well I won't react out of respect for our mother. But by staying silent I've allowed her to go further and further. I need to learn how stay calm but still set boundaries to protect myself. It's not easy but I can't keep living this way, I'm dealing with a major depression and this added stress is making me feel worse.
So thanks for your advice.
Charlotte,
You are doing the right thing as hard as it is to endure your sisters negativity, keeping the peace for your Mother is admirable. Your sister is obviously jealous of you. I have endured this with both of my sisters. It is hard, but keep on doing the right thing, one day you can unleash out of earshot of your Mother. Just keep it classy.
@@maybee... I’m going through the same issue. Evil jealous sisters!!
Thank you so much for this. I really needed this. I have been praying for guidance and I've been listening for hours. I have a fiance and she is very manipulative and verbally abusive. I have been staying with her and trying to work toward balance. She uses that against me.
Until I stood up and just left the home the otherday. We have a child together and I dont want to leave her but I may have to. I am grateful for this insight. I have no problem admitting this as a male. I know a lot of guys would not speak up on this and it takes courage.
Its hard to not share things with her because that to me has been the goal especially if I had the intention to be married. How do you overcome this? I realize that I cannot change anyone but myself. I just really need help navigating this because I do love her and at a spiritual level she is a twin flame.
Justin. Ty you for your comments .I can totally relate and dont even know you... If I can honestly give you my opinion for what its worth .....unless you find a " cure" for your fiance( no disrespect intended) or GOD himself heals her... Dont spend your life....only to find out what I just did this morning😔😕😟...Ill try to sum this up as short as I can ( cause thats one of. The many things he HATES about me😶) I take sooo long to explain something ..or I cant give simple quick answers ...I cant even communicate with people like a normal person anymore .... Because my words are in my head but afraid to come out cause for the better part of 33 yrs. Together and married for 25 of them this April ....( Ironic) only took me till my 25th wedding anniversary to realize if this was my marriage and my life ...then Id rather not be here anymore...U asked GOD to kill me..... So heres the summary I was 19 and he was 17 ..we did prom. We traveled .vactions . we were inseparable ffrom the day we met. And fast forward We lived together7 yrs cause I was afraid of one day having aa daughter and having her grow up with out a dad llike I did ..I was 8 yrs old whhen my mom divorced my selfish. Cheating .verbally abusive dad ..and I hated my dad cause he told me .I didnt have him in my life cause it was my moms fault for leaving him...fast forward....i ended up marrying my fiance after 7 yrs together and we had 2 boys and a girl. And fast forward.....the. Last 16 yrs my marriage has been dying because. I was too nieve and didn't see this coming and year after year i told myself hes not bad he just is going through something it will pass and. "WRONG" and now our children are scarred and disconnected....and broken ...because I was too stupid to leave him cause I promised myself my children wouldnt come up in 1 parent home or a broken family....WRONG AGAIN...... He didnt beat them or anything like that ..he just criticized their mother his wife year. after year and I feel like I have been asleep for the last 15 yrs and suddenly woke up the other Day and told my self ....OMG...I ruined my children ..becauae They now treat me like he does and they think thats normal.... And I cant leave right now cause I dont have means to support mmyself or my children.... And I honestly Dont care if I live or die .Im only here because I need to make sure my children find GOD again and that they are going to be protected by God. Through these end times and make it on HEAVENS side for ETERNITY...ITS ALL about them now.....so please dont let anyone destroy you or your child... Like I DId ....Im SO BROKEN ..... AnD ashamed that 25 years married and loyalty was for a broken life and that I should have Left and my children would have had a less painful emotionally existence with a mom and Dad in seperate lives.... Im sorry for this never ending TeXt ......I guess I Needed to say it....God. Bless you and I Hope you have safe and Healthy Life. 😊🌷
You've been through so much. I hope you are able to find the hope and healing you are looking for. Don't give up.
Absolutely it takes courage because unfortunately our society has programmed men to not feel their feelings and that is wrong and unhealthy! Men may not be as emotional as women but you’re still a human being with feelings.
@@StephanieLynCoaching amen to that, i can relate only, i know better to get not get intimate with this so confused person, keeping him at a distance, thought we could only be friends, cause we first shared Christian beliefs. ..but it's been a disaster for years, and seems impossible to get out of for so many reasons. ..Never really heard of this before, only the psycho I unfortunately cannot get out of my life, being a neighbor. He's a manic bipolar schizo'd, now "narc" added to that, that always likes to yell the F word when he doesn't get his way, yet claims to be a Christian while the cops do Nothing. Please someone advise. God Bless!
This video is like medicine I will take it as prescribed on my journey to a happy & healthier life thank you for sharing⚘
Childof God ...yes...take as prescribed. Same for the other 13 thumbs up.....after all....you won't be threatened will jail time for being wrong. That's not worth trying to teach sweetie. So never mind and enjoy your life.
jusayen so 💌thank you I will enjoy my life... a cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones... proverbs 17:22💞 positive Zone from now on thank you for your comment enjoy your life
Childof God .....best wishes and big red hearts back at you. Kumbaya my lord...kumbaya!...hehehehe
Childof God I love that ,positive Zone from now on... Toxic people are in the least expected places John 10:10 they're out to kill ,steal and destroy, continue to protect your cheerful heart
well said
I swear THIS IS the BEST video and advice I’ve ever heard !!! And I’ve heard trillions . I felt myself nodding in so much agreement. People say ‘ life’s too short for upset and no communication- NO - life’s too short to live in DRAma , that doesn’t change . Walk away for your own sanity..I did EVENTUALLY
Best advice I’ve heard in a long time I had forgotten all this because the abuse just dampens the brain thank you
Trina,you are too precious 🌹🌹🥀 to be with a narc 😈!
Trina,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌺 dear
Trinas brain is bright bright bright like her heart!!!
So true. Emotional abuse leaves me feeling crazy and dumb. But we’re not! We deserve better
Yep, Trying to change a person who does not want to change, or does not even realize that they are a toxic person is only going to explode in your face. Go slow, and be kind. Do not add to their conversation. It will only give opportunity for that toxic person to further exercise their "craft" on you. I believe there is a connection with this activity to what the Lord Jesus has said; Satan has desired to sift you as wheat. ...meaning that person is stripping you of the life that God has invested in you. Get away from them as quickly as possible.
Mike Hubbard ....I'll bet narcissists are more inclined to be athiests than people who are not narcissists. People who truly believe in a god (vs liars that use this as another tool of their deception trade) should naturally be the opposite of a mentally impaired narcissist. But I haven't found any statistics. Probably due to that politically correct stuff everywhere.
Okaaaaaay? I'm not sure where your coming from, or going ,but your statement is solid gold.
Man, I think you are a very perceptive person. Good stuff!!!
Mike Hubbard ...Thanks. I wasn't going anywhere....just adding my thoughts. Im guessing narcs are a larger % of the population than most people would guess. They don't ever tell people in casual conversation is one reason.
@@living2day617 .....I stopped going to my church many years ago.
When I first started my journey and decided to get away from toxic people. (I had many due to my codependency) I found your channel and to be honest at first I'll be honest there was something about your tone that made me feel even more wounded. (Probably more codependency on my part)... fast forward a year and I've found your videos again and I don't hear that tone at all and out of the many You-tubers, I realize that you really know your stuff and you're speaking from your own experiences too which really helps. It is amazing how sometimes coming out of the fog of abuse, you can be wounded by even the smallest tone or words... Time, knowledge, self work really are our healers. Thank you so much Stephanie for providing this support to the public.
This is so awesome!!! I like that you said to love yourself more and distance yourself from the environment that is not good for you. Cutting someone out that you have emotionally invested in is hard, but it's what's best for your health.
I swear I needed this today! Thank you so much 💗 dealing w an emotionally abusive boyfriend... and I feel like I’ve gotten attached to him because he keeps me guessing. Stupid- I know. I was on a very self-loving, awakening journey before we met... and then after a couple months I started to realize he had some narcissist qualities and I told myself I’d be able to deal w it since I love myself and I know what he’s doing and he can’t tell me about myself or try to manipulate me but the longer the relationship progressed the more he’s started to take a toll on me.... and sometimes I find it hard to get out of bed because I’ve let him affect me this way and I let myself down by being affected so much by his actions or in-actions and disregard for my feelings.
Take a break from him. When you create distance, you become stronger. He wouldn't be in your ear telling you how crazy you are or making you feel like your feelings are invalid. Don't get frustrated when they try to make you feel like what your saying is wrong or like you have no clue what your talking about. This is how they keep you stuck and you'll start to doubt yourself and everything you do and say. You'll eventually start to believe your crazy. Your not.. Your not crazy and what you feel is important. Create some distance and you'll eventually feel better about yourself and realise that you've never been the problem. Forgive yourself for not recognizing the signs of abuse. You were trying to figure out why it was happening while the person blamed you for it happening. They are the way they are and there's nothing you can do to change it.
@@maxinepereira8161 I feel the same & realize I have to create distance & think seriously about divorce.
I know my response is two years late. I hope you left this monster.
I also met my narcissistic ex while I was on my self love journey. You can def come back from it even stronger I promise 🤍
"What u r showing the abuser is I won't tolerate that." Luv this! Establish boundaries.
You are so right .YOU have to realize the abusive person is toxic sick and probably will never change.when you change your reaction. to thier hatred and rachtness and limit time you spend with. Them.......
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Just from watching this video I have literally done a 180 degree about face, it’s my husband that projects, is passive aggressive and unhealthy. This has confirmed my “gut feelings” about this situation. I now feel empowered and confident that I can arm myself with the tools I need to remove this from my life 💜 xxxxx
Jill Green,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!
Love this. I've been emotional hurt and drained for helping people. I'm indeed of help healing myself and have a healthy relationship. Thanks for your guidance now i see my weaknesses what i need to work on.
The emotional abuse from my abuser gradually built up over time. Things only ended for me when I left. I can’t stress that enough. I waited 4 years for him to deal with his issues. Instead they always defended their behaviour as a reaction to how I was being- “treat me better by doing what I need you &!then I won’t treat you like that”.
I accept that they are on their own journey and I am better off in life without them.
🌿Healing with self love, having a relationship with myself ❤️, & slowly distancing myself from other toxic people who refuse to respect my boundaries.
So true when you live in a toxic environment it makes life a living hell, It takes courage and a lot of will power to get rid of someone who poisons your existence,is not worth it even if is your own family!!
maybe... because they are right? women always want men to change, but never look at themselves. and when a woman is acting "crazy" (oh, you cant say that) the man has to behave differently. if one would reverse that logic: victim blaming, as you claim.
She is one of the few people who absolutely hit the nail on tbe head.
This is what I'm working on with coworkers. Happened today cut them right off Stopped the negative trash talk about another coworker was like they got hit by a train felt good.
I set boundaries with him. But he doesn’t care. Just gives me the silent treatment for weeks at a time, Really hard to live like that when you live together because I tried to set a boundary and he gets upset and wants to punish me.
Omg I am Living this hell right now
Yes! I experience severe consequences for trying to set boundaries and limits with my narcissistic mother. She even told me once, that there will be NO placing boundaries on her! Our circumstances are such that she presently holds a lot of power so IF I do reach that point where I have to confront her and set a boundary it’s immediate retaliation and punishment in some way where it will really hurt me. It’s an awful way to live.
@@abbeydawes5786 That silence is your blessing: It's preparation for your separation.
Thats really good to hear that you dont have to keep someone in your life, especially if they are family.
Yes!
This is a most needed topic
best video i have been viewing ! and i have been looking at thousands !!!! THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the thought of accepting always had the connotation that i accept their behavior towards me as well. somehow once i began learning about narcissism and the dynamic with a narcissist i started to see the reality of what had been going on on a deeper level, and how it was not going to change, and thats how the healthy acceptance happened on its own. I heard being told to accept through my own filter until i got the clarity. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't my responsibility to change them, and seeing that i unknowingly had an unconscious belief that i WAS responsible for them, hence my suffering from staying engaged. I didnt even know how much responsibility i took for this kind of person! I am also seeing the purpose of this experience. It wasnt a waste of time. It helped me see where i dont put myself first, think of myself, and also getting me in touch with the reality of my childhood so i can feel and process it realistically. Its helping me get in touch with the grief! What a blessing in disguise.... nonetheless it is a hard journey.
Great insights. Learning what core beliefs keep you bound in unhealthy relationships is the ticket to freedom from them.
yes it is extremely HARD
Take your focus and energy off trying to help or change a narc abuser that doesn't want to change, or doesn't have the will to change. Leave them alone with their little tantrums. They're going to keep narc-ing whether you try to correct them or not. Take that focus and energy for yourself, it's yours anyway, they're just trying to take it from you because they don't have any of their own.
@@NarcSurvivor
Thank you very much
Love & light...🙏👏
Also we also needed the narc like a drug.. for our happiness. We were willing to be second or third for a crumb since we grew a huge tolerance...and we needed a fix. Becoming self reliant is what God wants from us. They teach us to be so uncomfortable that we either crumb le...or rise rise rise.....
I’m struggling so so bad distancing myself. I need to practice these things. Thank you for your video. I know I have to walk away for good to feel better. I’m so depressed and my anxiety is so bad .
Don’t walk, run.
I'm struggling the same. Hang in there. I'm finally healing and don't let them determine or control how I feel. It takes time and I still get hurt but I'm learning. Best of luck to you. Know your worth. You are really amazing!!
Hey sorry, to hear that Roxanne I have been trying to understand how to deal with this for many years, and now it has reached the end So you are not alone, dearest stay bless and be strong 🙌
I am right there with you! Praying for us!
Your not alone, remember that. You dont have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable!
I blocked my narc mom. When it comes to my grandmother I simply just ignore and don’t see her most of the day. 2019 has empowered me ....after awhile you just get tired of bullshit including family lol
So thankful I found your channel. Self awareness and knowing you can’t change anyone - game changers
you're right,,i have to educate myself
Thank god , I took stand and simply cut my so-called friends ✌but it was not easy it made me feel so lost because I have never been in that position to take such step for myself although I suffered alot in my life but because of you I got to know my boundaries and enforced it.... 🔥 now living a peaceful life #no to #unhealthy#friendship ✨👍...a big thank you sweetheart ,may God bless you ✨
better of alone than with bad company
Setting and enforcing boundaries. is what l got to learn at the hands of a severely Narcissistic mother and her 2 evil female golden children . Being an empath the life taught me a lot .That is worth learning. I am not just an empath . Now I am an empath-rock.Almost all the guys and ladies who make videos on Narcissistic abuse ,empaths, earth angels or light workers do a tremendous job that is so precious .May they all stay blessed.!
Good dear
The same story here
I am having trouble leaving my physically & emotionally abusive boyfriend of 5 years.Thankyou for your videos. I always felt like it was my job to help anyone who needed me.I see the difference now between enabling &help.I think I am almost ready to give up this fight to help him get better....
Amazing brains. I wish all men & women can just be as kind, high morals, mentally & emotionally matured and stable emotionally, mentally.
WoW. This is EXCELLENT advice when dealing with family members who simply won't go away.
Stephanie... You have a beautiful gift! Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom in helping us heal & recover from this emotional torture... You are making such a difference for thousands of us... XO
Thanks so much! I really needed this today. Sometimes it is the in-laws who hurt us the most.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. You've said everything so well and easy to understand and do. I feel so disappointed in myself for letting the emotionally abusive roommate get the better of me in this way. But I must be self loving and let the sting go and master these practices as they are going to save my life. I can't cut her out of my life because of my living situation but this is an amazing reminder of what i need to do for myself.
BEST ADVISE. THIS IS WHAT I PRACTICE. APPRECIATE VIDEO.
It's really true no matter on how much we educate on these topics , we're all human and it's going to hurt sometimes when someone does something upsetting.
It takes a lot of practice and consciousness to put all these into effort
We need to get away from this kind of person- as opposed to being in a relationship with this person and try to change them.
I believe you are right! To all the others maybe sharing my journey thus far will help you, so here goes. I’m just realizing this with my marriage, thinking I can handle anything and improve the situation is probably why I’ve stayed for literally a decade too long. Setting boundaries did happen but literally his putting finger tips in ears was a common response. It’s now at the point where he just looks past me when I speak. Consequences for a misbehaving adult need to come from strength and I wasn’t ready then for the likelihood of my family busting up. I acknowledge it! We have 3 kids together so I thought keeping the family together and managing the outbursts (as I like to call them) was my role as mother. Realize, I’m not his mom and I don’t owe him anything emotionally. Also, I am preparing now as he’s not going to self reflect enough to get any professional help. Talking with a couple girl friends about all the different things that occurred made me realize how long the list really was. Taking that step was vulnerable for me and now I feel accountable to deal with the situation as a whole!! They confirmed my thinking! I have also made an appointment to get ongoing counseling. Without putting my crap on them, I connected with 2 adult children to see what they are feeling. One said: “I don’t want to discuss the big D word, but I’ve thought it may be coming since I was a young teen. Mom, you need to do what’s best for you.” That conversation was emotionally what I needed. I think prior to it I was too worried about protecting them and years of putting myself last, well was a habit. I regret the anxiety an unhealthy household was on the kids. Change is coming, I promise and I don’t make promises that I can’t keep. Very soon. Reiterating boundaries and setting deadline for next steps this week. I have inadvertently shown the kids how to emotionally survive, now it’s time to show them how to thrive. Highly recommend this channel. I recommend reading self help books and watching these great videos. Have watched a few already and will be watching more. It’s part of my renewed self care routine. And I should have sought help and counsel years ago! I hope there are a few tips for others who need it. And one other thing. Your community will rally behind you!! Let them in to support you!
Love, love, love your advice. Very practical. Relationships are the hardest. You are beautiful and wise. Healthy solutions. Thank You!
Katy Bloom thank you so much!
Katy Bloom, hope you are not with a narc 😈!
The first step, thank you, finding inner peace and a healing journey from all the damages.
People always threating by what you are tolerate, thanks coach fior this great reality you are revealing
Abusive people are often able to put you in a state of emotional crisis. And there are two ways to solve a crisis: the short-term and the long-term ways. The short-term and easier way is to get angry, to lash out at the other person, to become depressed or resentful, etc. The long-term and more difficult way is, like you say, to stand back, to react in a calm and collected manner, and to take the appropriate measures for the other person to treat you with more respect. A lot more useful approach!
You are so pretty and wise.. love white color on you !!!
This is so helpful as im a very strong person to begin with .This problem seems to be an epidemic these days and no one should have to put up with it ,especially good people like ourselves.I have very high self esteem and as a God believing person know i deserve better and am working on myself
and am getting stronger. No one deserves to be hurt or controlled and we all have our. own minds and dont need to put up with this undeserving treatment. Thank you for your kind words of sage advice. God bless
Stephanie I just have to let you know how much I appreciate your videos!! I've become a better version of myself mentally because of your videos. I truly know what it means to love myself now. Not only that but so much more. I've been sending people links to your videos who need your help as well. Thank you so much!
Self awareness is being true to your self,knowing who you are,knowing your own character and owning it with all the flaws and the plus points,character outweighs everything
I definitely have to accept this person's toxic behavior. I can't control or change him. I have tried and tried and nothing works. Thanks for this video Very helpful
11:07 is the most important thing about this topic I have ever heard in my entire LIFE.
Totally agree
I agree as well, even though I’ve practiced it subconsciously for almost 6 years now since I got married to a VERY manipulative narcissist whom I considered to be a psychopath until a couple days back. My inner world with my personal struggles, issues, desires, dreams, even work in progress is a taboo to talk about. Several times that some of it accidentally slipped off my tongue, I regretted it almost instantly because it was used against me many many times afterwards.
You are so right!
Never really heard of this before, only the psycho I unfortunately cannot get out of my life, being a neighbor. He's a manic bipolar schizo'd, now "narc" added to that, that always likes to yell the F word when he doesn't get his way, yet claims to be a Christian while the cops do Nothing. Please someone advise. God Bless!
Woman of God Covered in His Blood I have a nut case neighbor as well. 😩 Report everything to court so they get a caretaker. Apart from that: IGNORE!! No reaction, because that is what they want.
I wish I had found your channel ten years ago or.more- you could have saved me so much heartache! Better late late never though, right? What you're doing here is so extremely valuable and the fact you're making it available for free is so wonderful. Not everyone can afford a therapist and many of us didn't have great parents to teach us this stuff. So Thank you so much for all you do!! ❤
Let's go for that journey.i usually distance myself for protective boundaries for me.thanks.
Your contents my all time best. Keep it up!
I agree with u. U can’t fix people learn to accept but if someone has bad energy, negative controlling learn to drop communication and distance. U feel better and ur in peace and ur in control of the situation. When they can’t muliplicate u they piss off!!! ❤️💪